Contents

Copyright

PART ONE Ash and Sand

“No great mind..."

1: A cold, dark place. 423 G.E. (Galdric Era)

2

3: A hot, wet island. 1576 A.E. (After Enlightenment)

4

5

6

7

8: Spring. 421 G.E.

9

10: Dry season. 1577 A.E.

11

12

13

14: Summer. 422 G.E.

PART TWO Outcasts

15

16

17: 423 G.E.

18

19

20

21

22

23: Wet Season. 1577 A.E.

24

25

26

27

28

29

PART THREE Gods and Kings

30: Summer. 425 G.E.

31

32

33

34

35

36

37: Dry season. 1578 A.E.

38

39

40: Fall. 427 G.E.

41

42

43

44

45: Spring. 428 G.E.

46

47

48

49

50

Epilogue

Intro to Book 2

Note from the Author

Acknowledgments

About

Kings of Paradise. Book 1 of 3 of the Ash and Sand series.

Author: Richard Nell

Email: email@richardnell.com

Website:http://www.richardnell.com

All material contained within copyright Richard Nell, 2017. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission from the author.

The following is a book of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are either the product of the author’s imagination, or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental. Probably.

PART ONE

Ash and Sand

“No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.”

-Aristotle

1: A cold, dark place. 423 G.E. (Galdric Era)

Ruka stared at the corpse of the boy he’d killed, and his stomach growled. He built a small fire despite the risk, cutting off the limb-flesh with his sharpest knife, placing it in his iron pot with thyme. He added the heart whole with salt, and water from his sheep-skin, slicing off the cheeks to cook on sticks at once. He closed his eyes and chewed as the heat and juices quieted his stomach.

Not the plan, he thought, but meat is meat.

As Ruka trekked further and further North through the land of ash, he’d expected more bread to steal, more animals to hunt. He thought warm Northron weather would make for thick herds and rich travelers on country roads. But he found only well-guarded caravans, well-guarded farmland, or foodless, motherless outcasts. These were always boys, teenage or younger, deformed or unwanted, without silver or supplies. Boys just like him.

The grass around his worn boots and sore, hardened feet mottled in yellows and browns as summer gave way to fall. He had survived another season in good health but knew he must move further North, or freeze. Winter was close. He stirred his soup and shivered as a cold breeze cut through his dirt-caked clothes. He watched the snow-sprinkled hills that stretched out before and behind him, silent and still save for the sound of the wind. His gaze strayed to the carcass of the boy he’d killed.

Where was he born, he wondered, and who was his mother?

Ruka could never banish ideas once spawned.

Had the boy’s mother loved him? Had she died in child birth? Had the swollen flap of malformed skin on his forehead turned her joy to fear, and hate? Perhaps she’d just had too many mouths to feed. Did she think he’d have a better chance alone, in the steppe? Or was it just easier not to watch him die?

Ruka no longer balked at the coldness of these thoughts, though as a child he knew he dreamed only of milk, warmth, and his mother’s love. He knew because he remembered.

Somehow, he could still close his eyes and feel the warm, red cave of his mother’s womb. He could still feel the tug of the birther’s callused hands, and see her wide, darting eyes—the twitch of her cheek mole as she pulled him wet and silent, wrong and staring.

“Is it alive? What’s wrong?”

“Yes, Mistress…he just…does not cry.”

The woman he’d soon call mother sagged against her furs, and Ruka could still see her sweat-covered face. “A boy, then. Fetch my kin. He’ll be named after his grand-father.”

At the time words were meaningless sounds to Ruka, but later he would remember and understand. His mother, Beyla, cradled him and brushed the soft, bloody hair from his forehead, and though he’d thought the world cold and bright and loud, he’d still felt safe.

“My son,” she said, smiling, and never, not once, had she looked at him like a monster.

Then he heard shouting. Angry faces stared, then vanished, and soon he looked up at endless nights and blue skies in his mother’s strong arms, tasted the warmth of milk at her breast, and choked on heat when she bathed him in smoke.

Beyla carried him for sunrise after sunrise on foot in rough cloth that rubbed his skin to blotchy red. He saw little and felt only hunger and the cold, always the cold, till they stopped and stayed in a rotting shack by huge, wide trees he would later know as spruce.

Life became an endless loop of blankets and feeding, with only the sounds of the forest, dwindling fires, and his mother’s voice. Her voice was the only thing that seemed real. He smiled and cooed and she would hold him and chatter for both of them until slowly he learned her words.

“Momma, what’s the sound?”

He’d understood speech sooner but couldn’t form the sounds, then waited until he was sure.

Beyla flinched and dropped her sewing, eyes boring into him as if he’d become some stranger she had yet to judge. She swallowed and put her hand in the air in what he later knew as the mark of Bray. “A wolf. It’s…it’s a wolf’s howl, child. There’s nothing to fear.”

He smiled, and soon her shoulders relaxed and she returned it, and he was her son again. After, every day became speaking and a thousand questions he’d had but never knew how to ask, and sometimes even before the sun fell his mother would tell him to stop talking and ‘just go to sleep’.

Months passed. He grew strong enough to crawl and soon to walk, and his mother would clap her hands and send him crashing around their shack, though sometimes it hurt his hands and knees. His mother taught him that words had symbols, too, using an old book of stories. One day she showed him and snapped it shut, then drew its like in the dirt and asked him what it meant.

“Ash?” He’d summoned the open book clearly in his mind, and she picked him up and spun him in circles as she cried. “Was I wrong?” He touched her cheeks, worried, though he loved to be spun, and she said “No, child, tears can be joy. You were right. You were right.”

When he was big enough he helped her forage for roots and shrubs if it wasn’t too cold, and she taught him the magic of things that grow.

“How do they live in winter, Mother?”

He could still close his eyes and see the full-toothed, crinkly-eyed smile he learned was just for him. “They sleep underneath. And when spring comes and the sun rises high and bright in the East and warmth seeps into the soil, they wake back up.”

Ruka the child had considered this and frowned. “Why don’t we do that?”

She laughed, which always made him laugh, too. “I wish we did. Now come, before we freeze. Bring the pails.”

They left their meager shack and patch of woods when he’d grown big enough to travel on his own, moving South again and settling at last near a small, frozen town called Hulbron by a forest men feared to cross.

“There’s evil spirits,” explained his mother, though Ruka never saw or even heard one. Their new and final home sat far from a lake or river; far from a road or gathering place, in a cracked, old farmhouse with walls too thin even for a barn. But next to the shack of his infancy, this had felt like luxury.

“We’re going to the river. You’re filthy.”

Ruka had survived his seventh winter and plunged through every spring puddle he could find, the squish and splash of each a joy despite the cold. His mother acted angry at first, but laughed when he pouted and tried to squeeze the water from his pants.

The warm afternoon sun made the world feel safe, and he’d never been in a river, so he ran circles around her asking questions as they walked, naked now except his boots and a loincloth.

“Will the water be warm?”

“No, Ruka.”

“Can I go all the way in?”

“Only up to your knees.”

“Will there be other children?”

She’d frowned at that, and after a long walk they arrived at the swollen, thawing banks of the river Flot—which Beyla said was really just a Southern word for ‘river’.

“So it’s called River River? That’s stupid.” She smiled, then he shrugged and charged down its bank like Egil Bloodfist from one of the stories, hoping to kill a monster before he washed.

“Be careful.”

Ruka raced to the edge and saw floating chunks of ice in the swift current, and even at seven knew to be wary. He took off his boots and felt the cool grass, dipping his toes as his mother washed clothes and filled skins with constant looks in his direction.

The river, as promised, felt so cold it burned. He could see through some of the water and marveled at the world beneath—smooth, flat rocks that looked as polished as their table, tear-shaped swarms of tiny fish, or maybe frogs. He tried to wash quickly, splashing water on his chest with a shiver and wiping at the mud rather than plunge his legs down further. Half-cleaned he’d looked back at his mother with a frown, hoping she’d let him skip the rest.

But her eyes pointed away, her jaw clenched, her hands gripped and still in the cold water as if she’d forgotten her work. Ruka followed the path of her gaze.

“Health, Sister.”

A woman appeared from the mist, though she chopped and slurred her sounds so it came out more like ‘elth, sistuh’. Ruka had seen few people and struggled to tell her age, though she looked no older than Beyla. Her red-face bounced from the effort of hauling wicker baskets filled with clothes.

Four women dressed much the same trailed behind talking and laughing. They wore long shifts and overdresses like Beyla, and they smiled and seemed friendly. “Fine day for washin’,” said another, which Beyla answered only with a stiff nod. “Anythin’ for a break from shearin’,” said another, which made the women laugh. They went to their work at the river, humming and chatting without much attention, and Ruka stood still and stared.

He’d seen only a handful of people in his life. He remembered thinking the women seemed so like his mother, and yet, somehow, completely different.

Their clothes hung looser on skinny frames, their legs and necks seemed short and squat, and their skin shone pale like snow in the sun. They scrubbed their cloth with rocks, picking at caked-on dirt and grime. They had no soap, nor the dull iron knife Beyla used to scrape.

Once they’d set to their tasks in earnest their eyes began to wander as they chatted amongst themselves. Their gaze crept up to Beyla, if shyly, lingering on her face and hair and clothes, then drifted to the river. Their voices stopped all at once. One of the women gasped.

Ruka felt their eyes on him and didn’t know what to do. He washed his face again, but kept staring. The women stared back. They made the same signs in the air that Beyla had when Ruka first spoke. Bray’s mark—the goddess of life. He still hadn’t known why.

“A demon of the thaw,” muttered the woman who’d greeted Beyla first, motioning for her to step back as if trying to protect her.

Ruka splashed and almost tripped as he looked around for the demon.

His mother’s face turned pink. “This is my son.”

The women jerked their pupils from Ruka to Beyla, Ruka to Beyla, back and forth, and they did not move.

“Come and greet these mothers properly, as you’ve been shown.” Beyla’s tone seemed calm, so Ruka approached without fear. He stepped his way through the muddy bank avoiding rocks with his head lowered, all the river-joy gone from his stride because he didn’t like the attention. He lowered his eyes and nodded his head and said “Galdra keep you,” as he’d been taught but never yet had to do. The women did not respond.

“May I play by the water now, Mother?”

“Yes, Ruka, go and play.”

He went half-heartedly, knocking rocks together and cleaning them in the cold water.

“You shouldn’ta kept such a child.”

Ruka sat near the mud and pretended not to listen.

“The law requires it.” His mother’s voice deepened in a way he’d learn was just for adults.

“Northern law.” The woman spat, then pointed in Ruka’s direction. “Noss’ pups grow to wolves.”

Noss, from the book, he’d thought. Noss the Mountain God. The god of bad death and chaos and suffering, who took evil men and burned them in his fiery prison forever.

“Then kill him.” His mother drew the blade she sharpened daily and kept in a leather scabbard on her hip. She held it out handle first, and Ruka couldn’t help but remember the metal stained with blood, or hear the sound of her carving rabbits.

The Southron mother balked and looked to her sisters. “Do it yerself.” She shoved what looked like swaddling cloth into the river, then turned away as if the conversation had ended.

Beyla stood. “Show me your courage.” Her eyes blazed as she held the knife out further. “Or else keep your ignorant mouth shut.”

The breeze made Ruka shiver, whistling swift and cool between them all as jackdaws hollered overhead.

“Gladly.” The woman sniffed. “I’ll fetch my man.”

Beyla’s laugh came harsh, and unfriendly. “You’ll fetch your man? I thought Southerners had spines. Cut his throat yourself if you think it best. But I should warn you, he’s a strong boy. He’ll cry and squirm and fight you, so it won’t be so easy as a babe.” She threw the bone-handled knife, which stuck solidly in the earth.

“Yer outta yer mind.”

The other Hulbron mothers had stilled the moment the exchange began, or looked at the dirt and washed their clothes.

“No, I’m a word-witch. And I warn you—send your men for my son, and I’ll curse your daughters’ wombs, and your kin will birth monsters forever.” She looked at Ruka and held out a hand. “Come, child.”

He obeyed, if slowly, lifting a rock and thinking he’d crush the woman’s head like he crushed bugs if he had to. Beyla pulled her knife from the dirt and wiped it on her dress, looking one last time at the others, and though they repeated Bray’s mark in the air, the act now seemed to frighten them.

“Nevermind anything I said,” she’d told him later as they walked home. “It was all grown-up nonsense.”

He’d smiled for her and said nothing, though he remembered every word. He knew she spoke to those women rudely for the same reasons she’d settled near a ‘haunted’ forest. But he did not yet know why.

* * *

When the river-women faded from sight, he’d replaced his rock with a stick and fought raiders like Haki the Brave, yelling at his war-band to follow and face death without fear.

His ‘war-band’ was really his imaginary brothers. He’d play in the woods with them like the heroes of old, battling air or trees and ignoring his mother’s calls not to get lost, since he knew each tree and its bark as well as the skin on his hands. With his fake sisters he’d talk about fire and bugs and plants and how one day he’d eat a whole deer by himself, if he got the chance. But his mother only ever taught him to catch rabbits, and when he asked why they didn’t eat deer she only asked ‘Can you catch one?’, and he looked at the ground, and they left it at that.

Ruka loved being alone and imagining things as they could be, but sometimes wished he had children to play with. A few months after the river-river he’d asked his mother if he could play outside Hulbron’s hall with the others—another day he remembered more than its share.

“You’re not like them, my son.” He took this for a ‘no’, but later she scrubbed and sewed his pants and tunic, muttering “What have you done to the sleeves,” as she whipped it against their house and dust motes sparkled in the sun. Then she brushed and cleaned her long, blond hair with bucket-water from their well, and he’d wished for the hundredth time he had it too instead of the thick greasy ink of his father and most everyone else. “We’ll go together.” She’d smiled and put on woolen hose and braies and tied her hair back with a scarf.

They’d walked hand in hand like when he was little, and when they were close she stopped smiling and gripped him hard enough to hurt. “Speak only to the boys. If their words are cruel, ignore them, and if that fails…” her lips drew into a line and she looked away, “remember the book.”

She meant the book of stories, which was really called the Book of Galdra—words of the prophetess and all the legends of old. Ruka guessed she’d really meant ‘don’t be afraid’.

“Yes, Mother.”

She frowned. “I’ll get some supplies. I won’t be long.”

The snow mounds piled thinner near Hulbron, and water pooled in the dips and trenches and soggy fields beneath their feet. Ruka raced out to explore the puddles, but knew better than to splash with his mother watching. He saw the half-frozen corpse of a ground squirrel and stopped to watch, then noticed another of its kind dragging it, as if to bring it home.

“Mother, look, it’s trying to help!” He pointed.

She followed his eyes, then looked away. “No, child. The winter dragged too long. It will eat its own to survive.”

He looked again and felt the happy pride slip away. Then he tried to put this new knowledge from his mind, or accept it as only natural and not horrifying, but on both counts failed.

When they crossed the ridge that marked Hulbron’s natural border, he tried not to stare rudely at all the townsfolk’s faces and failed again. He saw youth and elders, men and women, pale-skinned and dark haired, all of them filthy. Their noses and eyebrows and foreheads sloped and jutted in all sorts of different shapes and sizes, but none of them looked like Ruka.

Dogs wrestled by pens of sheared sheep, and he wanted to go see them but his mother shook her head in the way that meant ‘no and don’t ask again’. He noticed the town’s two roads were a cross and the houses built in rings moving out from the hall at the center, and later he learned the people of ash built most everything in circles because they thought Tegrin the star-god forged the world this way.

The mid-day sun warmed Ruka’s skin, though as usual the breeze blew strong and cool. Hulbron reeked regardless. The butcher worked in the open, blood seeping out a rotten hole to mix with the waste of the town’s outer trench; people dried and skinned furs or leather goods from their homes, children playing or crying near-by, mostly upwind. Even the blacksmith hammered his rods under a turf flap built over the side of his thin-walls, too poor to build a proper shop. Beyla said in winter most everything here would shut down.

“Life in the South is a race,” she said, “to store food and fuel and warmth before the cold.”

She said for half the year families huddled together and prayed they’d out-last it, then in spring the men emerged thin and grey, searched their neighbors houses for starved, frozen corpses, burning them without ceremony. And then it would all begin again.

“See you soon,” she said without looking as she left him at the hall’s fence of sharpened stakes, which she told him later were to help stop horsemen raiders from the steppes.

He went in through the open gate to yellow grass, gawking at huge apple trees planted as a shelter. Other children ate the fruit and sat near-by in the shade, but Ruka wasn’t sure he was allowed, or who he belonged with, so he found a patch of mostly dry earth to sit on and watch the others. He didn’t know what to say or do. He took ashwood scraps and a knife from his pocket and tried to carve the sheep-dogs he’d seen. But mostly, he watched the children play.

Girls and boys played separately. They ranged from toddlers to perhaps a confident twelve, and the older boys quarreled and fought like the dogs, the older girls sat or stood in circles. Children Ruka’s age or younger wandered as if lost, and he watched them all and felt different. He smiled when they smiled and laughed with the others when a little girl squealed and fled from a grasshopper, and for just a moment he forgot that life was only a race against winter in a house by the woods with no brothers or sisters, and that he did not look like the others.

“Stop watchin’ us.”

Three older boys stood only a man’s length from Ruka’s spot. He hadn’t seen them because the trees made hiding simple, and he’d been so focused on his spying and carving. The speaker had smooth-skin and a round-head with dull, normal eyes, and the boys all looked like brothers. Triplets, Ruka remembered thinking, all still alive. Blessed by the gods.

“I wasn’t,” he said, feeling rejected, then kept at his carving and hoped they’d leave him alone.

“It’s got a knife.”

The boy made it sound like an accusation, and Ruka noticed he’d said ‘its’ and not ‘he’.

But he ignored the tone and held up the finished outline of his dog’s forepaws and snout. “Want one?” He felt a mad hope that, perhaps, if they played together, then maybe they could be like kin.

The triplet met his eyes. He looked at the others, then back towards a ring of girls who were watching.

“Yeah.”

Ruka offered it up, and the boy reached back and slapped the toy with all his might.

Skin crackled against skin and Ruka’s whole hand stung. He’d lost his grip and watched the carving bounce too far away to use, and he felt like crying or running away. Instead he picked another piece from his pocket like it didn’t matter and tried not to show how much it hurt. He watched the slap again and again in his mind, noticing now how the others looked on and smiled. He burned with shame at thinking they’d play together.

The next blow caught him in the ear.

“Get out!”

Ruka felt what he thought was a kick to his back, a slap to his cheek. He tasted blood, which seemed to drown the warmth of the sun, and the pleasant smoothness of the wood in his hand. He stood and backed towards the gate without thinking, only wanting to protect himself. He heard shouts and cheers now from the smaller boys.

Ruka tried only to run. He tried to say ‘stop’, but felt nothing except a tightness in his chest that strangled words, and he spat blood and covered his head with his arms. The gate was closed, the cheering kept on, and he didn’t know where he could go. His knife, though, remained in his hand.

Remember the book, his mother said, and he watched the stiffness in her back as he saw her say it again and again in his mind.

Heroes in the book did not run away. Heroes in the book warred with monsters and carved the known world from ice and ash and darkness, and they never ever cried or got scared.

Ruka turned on his heel and aimed. He thrust as he did against imaginary marauders, monsters and steppesmen, and shoved the point of his knife through the closest boy’s cheek.

I’m sorry, he’d thought, but you started it.

The flesh beneath the knife parted at once. It felt so much softer than wood, and Ruka remembered wondering if chopping men was easier than chopping lumber.

Laughter and cheers replaced with screams. Children ran in every direction and Ruka looked at the blood on his hand and froze. A moment ago, he’d thought, I was just a boy outside a hall, smiling and carving wooden dogs, no desire to hurt anyone.

Some of the girls returned with red-faced women that looked at Ruka like the mothers by the river. He backed away and tried to run to the gate, to climb it or find a latch, then crashed headlong into bearded men who stank like sweat and firesmoke.

“I want ‘is hand!” A young woman squinted and clutched at the boy he’d stabbed. The other women murmured their praise. “Take both!”

Ruka looked and saw a pretty face set hard with rage. He remembered it often later in his nightmares.

The tallest amongst the men stared with half-closed, watery eyes. His beard failed to cover pock-marks and cheek scars, and his furs failed to cover his wiry strength. “Boys fight,” he said, “only natural.”

The woman pointed. “Ye call that demon natural?”

The man who Ruka learned later was named Caro looked him up and down. He seized Ruka’s hair in one hand, his arm in the other, dragging him about helplessly, then flung him to the grass. He looked at the women and spoke again in his deep voice. “Yer demon is weak, like a boy. I punish men.” He flicked a hand and his warriors dispersed, leaving Ruka behind the stakes and the fence with the women and an angry silence. It broke for a time only from the wounded boy’s sobs.

“I’ll do it,” said the woman clutching the boy, “is my son he hurt.”

The others clucked their tongues or nodded and the speaker drew a seax, and for the first time Ruka realized all the women wore blades.

He still had his knife, but these were women, these were matrons. Only Imler the Betrayer ever hurt a woman in the book, and for that terrible crime he burned in fire still, and until the end of the world.

Ruka turned and stretched to his toes, then jumped and tried to cling to the wooden posts to reach the latch, but couldn’t. He looked around helplessly at the solid ring of heavy stakes, crying and pushing against the posts, thinking being cut would hurt terribly and with only one hand he couldn’t help his mother with a hundred things. With one hand, he thought, I’ll never catch a deer, and I’ll be an even greater burden.

“I’m sorry.” He turned to them and thought perhaps they’d understand. “The boys hurt me, and there were so many, and I just wanted to get away.”

“Grab ‘is arms,” one said, and the others moved towards him.

He screamed and thrashed and waved his knife, and saw even the older children cowering in horror. The women though easily seized his arms and held him, shouting encouragement to each other as they pulled back his sleeve and held him down flat in the grass. He remembered looking up and seeing yellow apples and tree-branches sway in the wind, remembered feeling that if they took his hand the sky would still be blue and the clouds would still roll away.

“Enough.”

The women stilled. Ruka looked upside down to see his mother at the gate panting and holding her knife. Caro and his warriors stood not far behind.

“We warn’d ya, witch. Ya’ shouldn’ta kept him.”

Beyla straightened and looked round at the group before her. Her gaze roamed their dirty shawls and dresses, their unwashed hair and spot-covered faces. She sheathed her knife and removed her hair-tie, letting it fall around her shoulders, different and clean. Ruka’s heart pounded—she stood alone and facing so many and he’d never meant to get her in trouble, too.

Then she laughed, and he flinched. He couldn’t see anything funny.

“A whole pack of Southern she-wolves for one little boy?” Her words hung as she paused, then she stepped forward. “Look at me.” She showed her teeth, but to Ruka it was not a smile. “I am Vishan. I am god-born.”

Ruka gawked at the strange woman who looked just like his mother, and wondered if he should make the mark of Bray.

“I’d be First Mother here if I wished. You all know it. I am not only because I choose.” She looked back at the chief and his men, who could surely hear her. “Hurt my son, and I’ll claim Caro.”

By this she meant ‘claim him as a mate’, which Ruka did not know she could do. He remembered wondering if Caro’s Matron was one of the women holding him down.

“Hurt my son, you ignorant mongrels,” she stepped forward again, “and I’ll take more. Much more. I’ll Choose half a dozen mates and have them drive your men and children from this town, or bury them in the earth.” She jut her chin like a knife. “And when you’re all alone and helpless, I’ll burn your land and houses myself.” Her smile, which to Ruka had always looked beautiful and perfect, seemed ugly. “Tell me sisters, without those Northern laws you hate so much, who will stop me?” She paused, and when no one moved or spoke closed the gap between them. “Who will stop me?”

The women sprang from Ruka as if from a snake, and he ran to his mother’s skirts.

“Are you alright?” She didn’t look at him.

He clung to her and tried desperately not to shame her with more tears.

Beyla put her hand on his back and walked him away from the trees and the grass and the blood. As she passed Caro, who was really Chief Caro, she touched his shoulder and leaned to whisper in his ear. She looked at him shyly, after, and Ruka didn’t know why, but knew it as more deception. The big man nodded and lowered his eyes, and to Ruka it seemed as if his chest grew and the men around him shrank.

“Only duty,” he said, “ye should come mer often, Beyla. Woods are no place fer Vishan.”

She’d smiled and slid her hand down the length of his arm. “Perhaps I will,” she glanced at his warriors, “now that I see the quality of the men.”

Their hands went at once to axe or dagger hilts as if they might be ready to kill, right there. Ruka thought their backs straightened and their chins lifted.

Beyla left them, nearly dragging Ruka by his hand, and she didn’t look back, nor did she ask what happened.

“We won’t come again,” she said later as she cleaned his misshapen face by their hearth. And all he could think was: Thank you, Mother. Another lesson learned.

2

After Hulbron, months and then years passed in relative peace and solitude. Beyla had visitors, though, both from the town and near-by farms, and they brought wool and leather, metal tools and salt. Men stopped at the door with coughs or rashes or red-faces. They’d lower their heads in obeisance and only ever whisper their words in greeting.

“Clean your wounds with this,” his mother would say, or “take this in boiled water,” or “give this to your daughter with milk,” then hand them plants Ruka helped her pick in the woods. They’d thank her and avert their eyes, and leave even in winter without a meal.

“What is this?” she asked on a warm mid-day summer outside their door. She liked to ‘test’ him, though he always passed, and she’d look surprised and make a fuss to praise him as she had when he was little, though it was always the same.

“Jimson weed.”

He hadn’t looked but knew the smell—sweet but unpleasant, like rotten tomatoes, and it lived one season and died, summoning bees and moths and butterflies to lounge on purple leaves that opened widest at night. It could make you see things, or close your throat until you strangled.

“Very good. And what is the seven hundred and fourteenth word in the Book of Galdra?”

They’d agreed what counted as the first word, so he summoned the book and counted in his mind.

“Pious”, he said, withholding a sigh, because she’d clearly picked the word on purpose and not through chance.

“And what does pious mean?”

He’d said what she wanted to hear, as always, but never understood. Later she made him grind the jimson seeds with yellow gentian and elderflower and measure out water and juices with little clay cups.

They sold potions for supplies—this one to a grey-haired ex-chief who’d survived the duel that stripped his title. He drank it in tea and ‘went away to feast with the gods’, or so he said, but each time he came back he looked older and paler, stiffer in the legs and longer in the beard, and seemed no wiser. Ruka liked him though. When he left he winked and called his mother ‘lady’ and smiled with gapped, crooked teeth, and his ugliness made Ruka feel less alone.

Besides the men with supplies and the occasional, quiet sneaking of Ruka’s father in the night, his mother had no real visitors. It gave him time to think and imagine, fight bigger and bigger monsters with blunt wooden spears, and read and write runes from the book he’d never known was special.

At night by the hearth Beyla spoke of the future. “One day you might become a Rune-Shaman, like the single-sons of old. You could serve a great chief, or travel the Ascom blessing men’s halls. You would still be different, and it’s dangerous to taunt the Gods with knowledge, but you would be respected.”

Ruka loved stories, but he hated her talk of his future. Beyla believed every word of the divine tales. She believed in tree and river spirits and sea-demons and flaming gods in mountain hells. She believed a man’s great deeds were the only way to join women in paradise, and that if Ruka did not work hard enough, they would not be together in the afterlife. But he had never seen his mother’s gods or spirits, and saw no value in words.

“Yes, Mother.”

“Don’t ‘yes, mother’ me. You must learn to hold men’s minds, and inspire their faith with your devotion, Ruka.”

He stripped some bark off a twig he’d planned to sharpen and looked at the floor. His mother took hold of his arms.

“You’re here for a reason, child. You aren’t like other boys. I know you know that. No great man will follow you, but you will speak for the Gods, and do their will, and one day the Matriarchs will write your deeds in the Book of Galdra. I promise you.”

He knew she only feared for him, and that she loved him, but he’d grown so tired of words that never filled his stomach or stoked the fire or changed anything at all. “If I’m so special, why won’t my father see me?”

Her hands tightened, and she twisted away to hide her eyes. “Because…he can’t. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t see me either, Ruka. But love…love is a weakness in men.”

He’d seen her pain and couldn’t bear it, so he lied. “I understand.”

She stroked his hand with her thumb. “Just remember your father is a good man—a man of faith. He’s weak, but he tries to do what’s right.”

Water escaped her eyes, and Ruka put his arms around her. “I’ll ask no more about him.” When her tears got worse, he whispered, “I love you, too, if that’s allowed.”

She’d wept desperately and clung to him, and for the first time he thought of her as lonely and afraid—as a person with hopes and dreams and weakness, and not only his mother. He recalled these peaceful years and this moment often, because Beyla needed love and gentleness, and as a boy, he had them to give.

* * *

During Ruka’s twelfth winter the first priestess came to Hulbron.

“Your father is dead,” Beyla mumbled after the messenger left, then staggered to her bed of dirty furs and twitched and shook and foamed at the mouth and Ruka screamed at her to stop.

At night he lay with her and stroked her hair, but when morning came she didn’t rise. He fed her with broth and washed her with water he melted from snow and warmed by the fire. She stared at the wall and looked at him as if they were strangers.

“Ruka?” her mouth moved so strangely, the ‘R’ sounding like ‘W’. He moved into her vision and held her hands.

“I’m here, Mother.”

She turned her head down again and slept, and he didn’t cry because men weren’t supposed to cry and Ruka was nearly a man.

Three days dragged. The cold seeped in through their thin walls and never ever went away, and Ruka did all he could to keep the hearth ablaze, to chop and conserve firewood, to trap, butcher and cook squirrels and rabbits, and not to freeze. Over the years they’d covered the wood sides of their house with thatch, but moisture still poured through them and the turf roof and the rotted wood supports that expanded and cracked like bread.

It was not the first time his mother was ill. Sometimes her hand shook or her legs went weak and she’d smile away Ruka’s concern and say she just needed a moment. But he watched her and remembered. He kept track of every symptom and its frequency, and he knew for the past few years the trembling got worse, the dizzy bouts longer, the twitches harder to hide.

Galdra’s book and the townsfolk said boys like Ruka came cursed, Noss-touched, and he thought but never said that perhaps his curse was destroying her. He thought perhaps if he ran away then she’d get better, and for years this plan lived in his heart, but he’d been too afraid. He didn’t want to leave the only thing in the world he loved and face a people that hated him.

I’ve been selfish, he thought as he watched her, and now it’s maybe too late.

But she’d always recovered before, and he hoped she did again. He held no charms and made no rituals, nor did he draw runes or carve signs. Ruka did not pray.

This time, he promised himself, when she is strong enough to hunt and gather fuel, I will take my clothes and a water-skin and a bit of dried meat, and disappear.

He would carve a message in runes so she knew why and wouldn’t worry, and even if he died out in the cold and Noss reclaimed him and burned him in the mountain forever, he would still always know he saved her.

Two more days passed. Beyla lay still in bed as the ebbing winter raged. It built up snowy drifts and mounds in storms of icy wetness that clung and almost smothered their house, though it had been built rounded to avoid this.

She lay in bed as she soiled herself and her furs and Ruka did his best to clean her, embarrassed and afraid, though he knew she had done the same for him for years. She lay in bed when he said goodbye and left out into the cold to do the chores that kept them both alive. She lay in bed while he cooked, while he read to her, while he wiped her down with melted-water and clung to her in the night. She lay in bed when Ruka heard dogs howl in a blizzard.

Whip cracks and voices followed like the disjointed voices of spirits Ruka had never seen, then a knock came that almost toppled their only door.

“Beyla!”

A raspy voice Ruka did not recognize hissed over the wind. He scrounged through dirty clothes for his sharpest knife and held it openly, tucking another into the back of his belt. Then he looked at his mother, who had not moved, and forced his feet to the entrance. They had no windows to see out.

“What do you want?” He felt the childish safety of not seeing danger, though he knew the door offered little protection.

“Wan’? We wan’ silver. Ye pay Hulbron’s tax, or we take yer house. Now open door, it freezing.”

The man’s accent was not quite Southern, yet not like Beyla’s. They threaten us, Ruka remembered thinking, then ask to warm by our fire?

His hand clenched and he’d felt his heart pulse to his fingers. He braced a foot and his body against the door, knowing vaguely that taxes were a bribe paid by country-folk so that townsfolk didn’t murder them. Beyla had always paid, as far as he knew, or at least somehow pacified Hulbron, and they’d never been bothered before.

“Do you serve Chief Caro?”

Ruka hadn’t met Caro since the day by the hall, but knew he remained chief, and mother said he was a good man.

The voice laughed. “I serve law. Now open fucking door, boy!” He banged again with what sounded like a wooden club or the shaft of a spear.

Ruka knew he could not. His mother had warned him never to trust ‘chiefless men’, even if they served the Galdric Order, which is what the man must have meant by the ‘law’. And the speaker sounded wrong—like a herder or horseman from the steppes, perhaps, in which case he was even more dangerous.

Snow crunched under half a dozen boots and just as many dogs whined and growled. They would be warriors, or at least grown men armed with spears and axes, and Ruka was one deformed boy with a knife. Well, he thought, two knives.

In the blizzard, though, the men could not easily start a fire, and thus couldn’t set the house ablaze. They would no doubt be cold and eager to depart. Hacking through the door or walls out in the snow would be difficult and unpleasant, especially if Ruka resisted, and perhaps damaging the property would cost them.

That they’d been sent on such a meager errand despite a blizzard made Ruka think their master was callous and perhaps not well liked, and the men might feel no great loyalty in the face of hardship. He knew, too, that men always reacted to Beyla’s beauty. Even sick and silent they would not relish turning her out. They would know her secret man was dead now and even if it was madness would perhaps crave her favor. The only risk was the leader’s pride before his warriors—he could not go away defeated by a boy with an unbroken voice, and a door.

“Beyla is sick. She’s fevered and delirious, which is why she does not answer.” Ruka hoped ‘if you men come in, you risk becoming sick yourselves’ would be understood. When silence followed, he relaxed. He wants to accept that and leave, but he needs help. Ruka kept on, in his most subservient, intimidated voice. “Tell your priestess we’ll pay. We’ll pay as soon as Beyla recovers. I swear it.”

The chiefless leader grunted. “If I come back, boy, I drag ye screaming and feed ye to dogs. Hear?”

“Yes.” Ruka answered as abjectly as he could. “I hear.”

The boots crunched and the men whistled, and the sled-dogs turned and barked as the riders shifted their weight. Ruka waited at the door with his knife clenched until the hearth-fire flickered and he’d heard nothing but the wind for some time.

He tried again to wake his mother, to get her to explain or do something, but she just stared and mouthed words without sound, and Ruka cursed himself for being so ignorant of the world.

Somehow he’d always known they fled South to escape some danger, which he now assumed was the Galdric Order. Hulbron was far from their power—nearly the last civilized village before an endless steppe full of wild horses and wilder men, and tundra that hardly thawed. It was said men lived even further South in the coldest places on earth, in houses carved from ice. The book told of giants with blue skin that slept in frozen lakes, and ancient beasts of the old world that roamed in the night for flesh. Ruka expected most of this was nonsense, but still—the deep South was no place for a woman and a child on their own.

If chiefless men now served a priestess in Hulbron, they must seek the chief’s protection, or they must run. That much seemed clear.

He looked again at the still form of his mother on her furs, listening to the harsh winds outside with a shiver. He knew he had no choice.

* * *

Ruka gathered up his traveling pelts and deer-skin mask and gloves, strapping wide, tear-shaped wooden shoes over his boots to cross the snows. He put the thickest logs he had in the hearth, left water by his mother’s bed, and kissed her goodbye. But he lingered at the door.

He could see no reason for her flight those years ago except to protect her Noss-touched child from the goddess of law, and surely if he left her, that danger would end. He walked back and brushed pale, greasy hair from her forehead, locking every feature of her in his mind to keep away forever. Then he rose and jerked the swollen wood to open the door, and left all safety behind.

Their house always festered with cold, but being out in the wind was different. ‘There is no bad weather’, he heard his mother say, ‘only bad clothing.’ He grit his teeth as every gust seemed to rip through his layers and shake him by the spine, staggering his steps and blinding him, filling the air with powder. He remembered how much he hated words.

At first he tried following the chiefless men’s path. His shoes kept him from sinking, and Ruka had never been lost in his life, but now he could hardly see. The trail filled and swept away all trace of man and dog, swallowed in ripples of trackless white.

In his mind he had the layout of trees. He walked from patch to patch and hoped they hadn’t been chopped down or grown thicker than he remembered, knowing even a small mistake could mean his death. Every inch of skin not covered went numb. His breath froze in layers around his mask-holes, his tears turned to ice on his face.

Soon his imaginary brothers marched beside him shouting encouragement. ‘For Beyla,’ they said, and he grit his teeth and wiped at his eyes, blinking through the frost and counting his steps to keep his mind off the cold. She had given him her youth, her health and her love, and he would not fail her. Not now, not ever.

Hulbron wasn’t actually far—at least not as the birds flew. But between the patches of woods he dare not enter for fear of getting turned around, and the strain of every single step, it felt like forever. I spend too much time cooped up inside, he decided, and not enough walking and running and trekking through snow.

He’d let his mother coddle him too much, he’d realized that for years. He relied too much on traps and familiar ground, on Beyla’s beauty and trade with local men. He would have none of that soon—no one to turn to when he faced the harsh realities of hunger and thirst. He would have to learn to survive on his own. Perhaps things will be easier in the North, he thought, where summers linger and winters are tamed by the sea. He could learn to build a house and find land somewhere secluded, perhaps—somewhere near woods so dark and thick he could lose himself and forget the land of ash.

Making plans seemed somehow to speed time and ease his steps. The storm caked his brow and eyelashes with ice, numbed his thighs and feet and hands, but with relief he soon saw Hulbron’s hall. Houses with brightly-colored roofs and doors dyed red and orange appeared in the snow, and he saw no one outside. He went straight to the gathering hall that he’d never seen from within, seizing the metal rings with a gloved hand, and threw open the door. A hundred shivering villagers sat clumped together in a circle around a hearth, staring out from the gloom.

His eyes adjusted quickly as they always did, but he had no idea what to say or do—he didn’t know the rules of a hall. His thoughts felt blurred as his mind and body thawed, but as he closed the heavy door and moved closer, no one rose or seemed to care. It smelled like dirt and sweat and piss but he kept from wrinkling his nose. The walls looked thick with furs and thatch like Beyla’s home, though here the floor was uncovered wooden planks that leaked cold, smothered in muddy tracks. He took off the snow-shoes and mask and circled the group.

He tensed as he realized he might find the boy he’d hurt, or the mothers who held him down. Would the boy’s scar be ugly and clear? Had the wound corrupted? Did I kill him?

He looked for the women, but they had furs and skins pulled high, covering even their hair. Faces and body-shapes flashed in his mind. He saw the hard eyes of mothers as they called for his hand and blood, as if the years between then and now were only moments. His heart raced as if it still pumped blood to his knife-arm as he swung wildly in terror.

Still no one noticed him. From elder to child, all seemed busy with their own private battles to stay warm, and he stood alone and paralyzed. The heroes of the book were bold braggarts who killed those between them and their purpose—they were the sons of Imler, sons of the Betrayer, and they took what they wanted with strength and without shame. The only thing that tamed them was the law. Is that how I should act?

Even the civilized men of ash were dangerous, and none more so than these Southerners. ‘Lawless pagans’ his mother called them when they first arrived near Hulbron, ‘as like to kill you as look at you’. Her attitude had since softened, but not by much.

Ruka found one such pagan sitting by an inner door, an old, silver demi-god charm in the shape of a sword dangling proudly from his neck. He was perhaps twenty and thin, bearded and armed with an axe and a long, curved dagger, using it to peel strips of wood off his chair as if in boredom.

Ruka took a breath. He walked straight to the door-guard and stood tall, speaking as calmly and confidently as he could. “I’m here to see Chief Caro.”

The man’s eyes found Ruka’s face, then roamed to the sharpened blade of his unhidden seax. “Leave it.” Ruka obeyed. Then the young warrior jerked his head towards the door and slumped back down to his rest. “Quick-like, or they lose the heat.”

Ruka walked in feeling a fraud—as if demons like him weren’t really allowed here, but no one important had noticed. Warmth washed over his face with the smell of roasting meat and he closed his watering mouth. He’d never even seen a room with two hearths. Men and women sat in separate circles eating from wooden plates, drinking from clay cups. The men all had trimmed beards, the women tied long hair, and he shuffled in feeling filthy.

“Boy!”

Ruka froze.

A red-nosed man in the closest chair beckoned, then put a hand on Ruka’s shoulder when he obeyed. “Eat, will make ye warm.” He held out a plate of fresh-cooked pig and winked.

For a moment Ruka stilled, sure this was some kind of joke or trick. But he rarely ate meat that wasn’t rabbit and cured, and so he peeled off a glove to pick with his fingers.

Red-nose seemed to notice his face for the first time and stared, but didn’t move the plate. Ruka chewed without tasting, too worried to enjoy, and with his mouth half-full said, “I need to see the chief.”

The man’s gaze strayed to Ruka’s hips and back, perhaps looking for a blade. He turned his eyes away and called out across the room. “Caro. Guest.” Then used the hand on Ruka’s shoulder to give a push, and Caro waved him forward without looking.

The hulking leader of Hulbron seemed much the same as the first time Ruka saw him. He was old for a chief—or a man for that matter—perhaps forty, his greasy beard mottled more grey than black. He tore at chicken ribs, oil covering his hands and face, eyes narrowed and still pointed down. He said nothing.

Ruka did his best to remember the book. This is it, he thought, no room for cowardice now. He cleared his throat. “I am Beyla’s son. I’d have words.”

The chief’s mouth stopped moving. He put the bones down. “We thought ye dead. How many winters?”

Ruka didn’t see what difference that made. “Twelve.”

“Ye look fi’teen.” Caro’s eyes assessed like the door-guard and Red-nose, and he let Ruka break the silence.

“Men with dogs came to our house today and demanded silver. Why?”

Caro’s gaze moved across the table, and his voice went quiet. “Beyla owes. E’ry hearth-owner pays per harvest, and more fer the land.”

Ruka watched the chief’s eyes. “Then we’ll pay. There’s no need to send armed men in a blizzard. How much?”

The chief cocked an eyebrow and shifted in his seat. “Few ounces. Ye can pay grain, or animals, or tools, or work for the town, if ye got nothin’ else.”

Ruka still felt he was missing something. “Why have we never paid before?”

Caro’s lips pursed and his eyes squinted and to Ruka he looked like a dog squeezing shit in the cold. “Beyla...she had…help.”

Ruka instantly saw an image of his father. His dead, unofficial father, who mother said hunted deer and tanned hides and sold the meat and skin to townsfolk and farmers in several towns. He fingered his deerskin gloves. “What happened to the things left by Brand, son of Gyda?” It was the first time he’d said his father’s name.

Caro paused and looked from the corner of his eye. He cleared his throat. “Went to the town, boy,” he paused, “had no kin.”

Ruka sensed the danger here, but nevermind. “I am Brand’s son. He had no daughters. Does the ‘town’ mean you?”

The chief shook his head. “Women are the heart and hearth of Hulbron, we men but ‘er arms and legs.” A quote from the book. “Brand’s things are with the priestess.” Caro dropped his chicken again, as if he’d lost his appetite.

Ruka didn’t understand the distinction, nor did he much care. He followed Caro’s eyes. “Her?”

“Aye, that’s Kunla, but…”

Ruka crossed the short distance with long strides. ‘Priestess Kunla’ spoke to the women beside her with a plain, thin mouth on a plainer, ruddy face. Her short, dark hair bounced around her head as she turned in both directions, and her far-apart eyes held their lids wide as if everything she saw inspired wonder, or perhaps outrage. Her voice seemed a rising thing that mocked all chatter in the room, shamelessly loud and unflattering, and Ruka felt instant repulsion he couldn’t explain.

He filled the small space between her seat and the one beside, the heat from the room and his fear now making him sweat. Remember the book, he thought, Beyla needs me. I can not fail.

“I want everything left by Brand, son of Gyda. I am his son, Ruka. My mother is Beyla.”

He hoped his arrogance would demand respect. The priestess flinched when she saw him. Her wide eyes had no room to raise, so they squinted, and her mouth twisted as if she’d smelled something foul. She examined him from head to toe and seemed not to enjoy the experience.

“Brand had no matron, therefore he had no children. If some witch spread her whore legs for Noss and you dropped out, that’s nothing to do with me.”

She spoke the insults as loud as everything else, and the room silenced. Southerners still literally believed Edda, the goddess of words, heard everything ever spoken—they believed insults and slurs that stood unopposed became true, and that harsh words should always be challenged by deed. Failure to do so diminished you, and gave the words weight.

Kunla looked at Caro. “Take this disgusting thing from my sight. He shouldn’t even be here.”

The chief’s face was pink. He gave the slightest of nods, and two men at the table rose.

Witch is bad, Ruka thought, but whore is worse. He didn’t much care what gods or people thought of him—they already thought the worst—but his mother’s reputation mattered. It would matter even more when he was gone.

The book. Remember the book.

He picked up the gristle-covered knife by Kunla’s plate, and for a moment time seemed frozen. Some of the men twitched and moved, but too slow and too far away, and too surprised even if they weren’t. Ruka slid behind the priestess, yanked her head back with a fistful of thin hair, and set the blade against her throat. He pictured his mother’s harshest smile.

“Beyla, daughter of Egrit, is not a witch, and she is not a whore. Say it.”

Kunla’s eyes near bulged from her head. The two men who’d risen to take Ruka out leaned forward to grab him, but Caro raised a hand and they stilled. No one else in the room moved, and only popping logs in the two fine hearths, and the breath from hanging mouths broke the silence.

“Get this thing off of me. Get him off now!”

Still no one moved. Ruka was tall for his age, so he had to hunch to put his face down close to hers. He hissed his words the way he thought a demon might.

“They can’t, Priestess. Not before your blood soaks this chair, and this floor.”

Her breath stunk like rotten meat. It pumped out her lungs in ragged gasps that he thought were more from rage than fear.

Chief Caro’s voice came quiet, calm. “This isn’t the way, boy.”

A sort of violence lurked in the man’s stillness, Ruka knew. If I step back or loosen my grip I’ll be hacked apart. There was no path but forward.

“It is the way.” He spoke with a certainty he did not feel. “You will say the words, Kunla.” His mind screamed orders through the chaos and he saw the path at once. “And Caro will swear a holy oath to handle Beyla’s debt, and go to her house now and see to her because she’s ill. Or, I will kill you.”

Ruka had read much about the god of laws, and the holy oaths of men. No chief could swear to a thing in public and later refuse, or he would not long be chief. Ruka turned his head so he could see Caro. See my curved, cursed eyes and think me mad, he willed, see that I will die here gladly bathed in blood for her, because I will.

Caro stared, though what he saw exactly Ruka could not know. His gaze seemed to linger on the patches of Ruka’s discolored skin, the lumps and lines and disorder of his face. Cursed-son, child of chaos. The ruin of his birth for once a gift. Caro at last met Ruka’s eyes, and his posture slackened. “Do as he says, Kunla.”

She took her time. When she finally spoke she spat the words onto Ruka’s cheek. “Your mother isn’t a whore. She isn’t a witch.”

Ruka waited and sensed the reaction in the room. The embarrassment. He yanked back on the priestess’ hair while he pushed the knife harder against her skin.

“Don’t tempt Noss twice, Priestess. Say it again.” He looked back at Chief Caro. “Now swear.”

“I swear it,” said the big man instantly. “I’ll take the debt and help her, or face Nanot.”

Kunla said nothing, so Ruka formed his misshapen face into a sneer. It didn’t matter how far he went now, his life was already over. I’ll never learn to build a house, or find a forest to call my home, but then it was only a dream.

He slid the knife down her neck, over her chest and down to the cloth between her legs, tilting the blade. “I will make this knife your lover,” he whispered, “like Imler loved Zisa on the mountain of all things, and our names will go in the book.” The last bit made him smile as he thought: just like mother always wanted.

The priestess looked up at the ceiling, this time her tone neutral. “Your mother is not a witch. She is not a whore.”

The room seemed to breathe at once. Ruka let go and backed away, dropping the knife to the floor as if it were nothing, and waited for death.

The chief’s men seized him and held him still. Once the priestess recovered her wits, she took the knife and tried to kill him, but Caro stopped her.

“He’s still a boy,” he said. “Enough laws are broken.”

She accused him of letting Ruka in, of endangering lives, her face red and eyes crazed. “I’m in charge here, Caro, not you. I can take this village from you, I can have them swear to another chief, anytime I choose.”

His face blanked, as if his thoughts went far away.

She came closer, leaning as Ruka had to her. “And I can take your family, Caro, your pretty Betha. She is free to choose another man whenever she wishes. Whenever the Galdric Order wishes. Whenever I wish. And she will take her children when she leaves. You will be nothing, have nothing, except the pleasure of watching the new chief take your woman to his bed, and raise your daughters.”

He seemed to shrink at her words, as he had once swelled at Beyla’s. “I swore an oath, I’ll honor it. We’ll lock up the boy fer what he’s done. What happens after, I leave to ye.”

Kunla didn’t acknowledge him. The look she gave Ruka said ‘you are mine, and you will suffer’, then she left the room, wrapping herself in layers of animal skins on the way.

The men all breathed out and some took their seats, faces pale and eyes anywhere but on their chief. Caro’s face looked drawn, hollow, as if he’d just aged a decade. He wouldn’t look at Ruka. “You should have made the priestess swear,” he said softly.

Ruka looked at him, and though he was only a boy and soon going to die, he felt pity. “No, Caro. She would have lied.”

The chief glanced up, but only for a moment. “Take ‘em to the stocks. I’ll see to his mother.”

* * *

After a few minutes in ‘the stocks’, Ruka decided he’d been sent there to freeze to death. Perhaps the chief thought this preferable.

It was a small, windowless shack made from thin wood, filled with a blue-black cold that sucked heat down to the dirt floor and smothered it. Large metal rings hung from wooden blocks, ropes looped through them and tied around Ruka’s limbs. He lay bound in the dark with nothing but the clothes on his back, the howl of the wind, and his shivering.

Twice he’d looked at the rope and thought he could probably chew through and escape. Eventually.

But he wasn’t sure of the point. He believed the chief would go to his mother and do what he could, and would handle her debt. Away from his curse and the burden of raising him, she would no doubt recover and eventually move on. What other reason did he have to run?

He thought on the things he’d done in the hall, and the words he’d said. Somehow it didn’t feel like him. The memories looked like a dream, or a story in the book he’d just acted out, and though he thought he should feel shame or horror or fear, he felt only numb.

From the priestess’ words he understood now his mother and father did something wrong. Perhaps she’d chosen Brand without the blessing of her family, or the Order. Ruka’s isolation as a child wasn’t entirely his fault. But then this made no difference. Beyla hadn’t hurt anyone, and she always helped the townsfolk and farmers, treating them kindly except when they threatened her son. Brand fought no duels and lived in peace, at least as far as Ruka knew. And either way, I’m still an abomination. They would have been accepted if it weren’t for me.

His shivering soon clouded all thought. Wind pierced the pitiful walls and Ruka rubbed or covered any part of himself he could with his hands. His toes numbed, then his ears, his nose, his cheeks. His hands got too cold to protect anything else. It hurt for awhile, then went away, until he felt almost warmed by an imaginary fire.

He knew he’d done what he could, but would die in agony gladly if he could just say ‘thank you for loving a monster’ to his mother first. He summoned memories of resting in her arms, of her voice as she hummed to him on long, cold nights, and then he slept.

He woke with a start, jerking at the ropes before he recalled where he was. Something lifted him, and if he was dead and this was Noss coming to collect, then Gods smelled like old sweat and rotten barley.

It’s just a man, Ruka decided, one of Caro’s retainers splashed with beer.

Without a word the man untied the rope, scooped Ruka up, covered him in some kind of blanket, and carried him out into the wind.

He heard blowing snow and grunting and felt tingling shocks of pain in his limbs at every step. A door opened, then another, and Ruka dropped hard onto maybe wood and sighed at the feeling of warmth.

“Give him to me.”

His mother’s voice.

“You will have him when this is settled, and not before.” Priestess Kunla.

The blanket pulled off scattering dust, and Ruka found himself back in the chief’s hall. He sat in one of the same chairs that before held townsfolk, rope wrapped around his chest and arms in loops. The meat was gone, and now only the women sat across from each other staring, Caro and two men near Ruka. Beyla looked pale, and exhausted, but far better than the last time he saw her.

And she can speak!

“Is that necessary? He’s just a boy.”

“This boy nearly killed me. You should have heard him. Your son is a demon, as the townsfolk say, and should be destroyed like a rabid animal. I want him whipped and beaten. I want him shamed, and I want the hand that held the knife cut from his body.”

His mother shook her head. “He’s a frightened child who did no harm. You are not the law, Priestess.” She looked at Ruka. “Tell me what happened.”

“I’ve already told you. What he says means nothing. He will be punished, or I will go to Alverel, and accuse him of botching a murder. I will have a dozen witnesses. What will you have? The word of the accused? The cursed son of a fallen whore?”

Ruka looked at the blank faces of the men, and tested his ropes, but his mother didn’t look offended, or afraid.

“Go. And I will go, too. Perhaps I’ll accuse you of the murder of Brand, son of Gyda, whose lands you now own. Perhaps I’ll say you poisoned me, and left me ill, so that you could claim the rest.”

Kunla blew air. “You have no proof. You have no witnesses.”

“I know every word in the Book of Galdra, you disgusting, nameless, fraud. I have my sickness, and I have allies in this town, and in the Order, despite what you think. Let us see if a Vishan daughter is ignored, as you say.”

“Oh yes, I know your blood.” Kunla sneered. “I know the men of this town lust after you like a bitch in heat. You can read, and write. I know.” She paused and turned her head and leaned forward. “It must bother you that a plain, meaningless woman like me has achieved so much more. That I am a High Priestess, and you are nothing. You’ve lost your man. Your health. And now, your disgusting son will be a cripple. Poor, poor Beyla.”

Ruka grit his teeth and strained at his bonds, and the men beside him tensed. His mother just smiled. Even on her pale, gaunt face, as a shield against this hate, it made Ruka feel safe. She turned her gaze on Caro, staring until he returned it. “I do not agree to the punishment suggested by Priestess Kunla for the supposed crimes of my son. If she wishes to prosecute, let her go to Alverel, according to the law. Now you will return him to me immediately. If you touch him again without my consent, I will include you in Kunla’s crimes when I make my case.” She looked back at the priestess, and the women stared.

Caro turned red and shrugged. “I can take ye to Alverel, Priestess.”

“You’ve done quite enough already. Pray I do not replace you.” Kunla rose, wrapping herself in skins. “Good luck in the valley of law, Beyla. The road is long, and hard, and we all know how…fragile your health is.”

One of Caro’s men untied Ruka as she stomped from the room, and his mother’s face sagged. Her eye-lids drooped, and she hunched, and as soon as Ruka came free he leapt from his chair and went to her, noticing the jump from the men at his movement.

“Let’s get you home, Mother.”

She smiled the smile just for him, touching his face. “In a little while, my son, I need to rest. Perhaps we can go in the morning?” She glanced towards Caro.

“Ye can stay wit’ me, tonight. In my house, I mean.” Redness spread down his neck.

She smiled at him shyly, but Ruka sensed her deception. She had never done anything shyly in his life.

The retainers came forward as if to carry her, but Ruka put his arms under her back and legs and lifted.

“Gods, boy—let us. Yer half frozen.”

He stared until they backed off and exchanged a look, and Caro shrugged, motioning to follow.

His warriors opened doors for them and walked beside as they crunched through the snow. Ruka’s arms shook, his feet throbbing with every step, but Beyla’s head fell against him and rested on his neck. It’s my turn, he thought. Your strength protected us and now you need me. It’s my turn.

He memorized the layout of the town as they walked, though it had changed little since he came as a boy. He pictured the knives left around the hall, and noted spears and axes propped against houses. I could kill a man by surprise, he thought, and I could certainly kill a priestess.

His look to Caro had been no lie. He would murder every man in Hulbron to protect his mother. He didn’t know what they’d face tomorrow or what dangers to prepare for, only that his childhood had ended, and whatever came, for Beyla he would burn in the mountain forever, if he must.

3: A hot, wet island. 1576 A.E. (After Enlightenment)

The soldier laughed.

“Do you think I’d hit a prince?”

Kale looked at the small crowd of boy-warriors gathering on the pale sand to watch, glad for the audience.

“This is a training exercise,” he announced. “Sometimes soldiers get hurt in training. Wouldn’t you agree, Thetma?”

The other boy’s eyes scanned the same crowd, unsure, sweat beading on his dark forehead and neck in the heat.

“Come on, farmer.” Kale slurred it like the insult it was. “Or are you afraid?”

Thetma lunged, and Kale reached out and caught his wrist, no time to consider. Both boys went down in the sand, twisting and struggling to get a free fist with enough space to strike, their few days of navy training forgotten, and not helpful anyway.

Kale ended up on the bottom, his arms trapped too low, and he felt the panic of losing control.

The expectation of pain coursed numbness through his muscles, and he knew he’d take at least one hit before he had the leverage to move. The moment felt slow, drawn out, inevitable. He looked away from the clenched jaw of his fellow recruit, turning his head and looking out towards the whiteness that spread along the Southern coast of Sri Kon. He saw the birds flying out to sea and wondered for the thousandth time where they went, mind drifting as it always did to things not useful in the moment.

He’d wrestled with his brothers on a beach like this many times.

“Tane?” he’d asked the eldest, as a small boy. “Where do the waves come from?”

His brother had smiled and swept his hands in dramatic display. “The shamans say that great sea spirits churn in the depths, moving the water back and forth.”

“Do you think that’s true?”

Tane grinned like they were in on some secret together. “No.”

Kale frowned. His childhood seemed a series of believing silly things, learning otherwise, and then feeling embarrassed later. At least Tane was kind.

At five he’d believed a nursemaid’s story that his mother turned into a fish and swam into the sea. It made him afraid to swim, and one day he’d said so, and his other brothers all laughed and teased him, but Tane became serious. He’d said that Kale’s mother died from illness, and that there were people who turned into fish and swam away, at least in the legends, and it shouldn’t be joked about, it was just that his mother wasn’t one of them.

“Do you still want to swim?” Kale had said, looking down at the beach.

“Yes, little brother. But don’t turn into a fish!” Tane winked his wink just for little brothers, rising to splash into the sea.

Kale followed more slowly, watching the water as it lapped warmly at his toes. “Do you really think I could?”

“Maybe, but don’t be afraid, little fish.” Tane laughed, and waded further. “Princes must never fear, especially Alaku princes!”

Kale hadn’t wanted to look like a scared little boy, so he went in too. Tane chased after him, tickling and throwing him in the air, and he’d soon forgotten, at least for awhile, about magic and shamans and the churning of the sea.

The memory felt strange to compare to Thetma’s fist slapping against his cheek, driving his head into the wet sand beneath. But it came unbidden, as memories often did.

The strike unbalanced his opponent, as he’d known it would from years of wrestling elders. Kale shifted his legs and bucked to the side to make enough space to pull out an arm. He reached up and grabbed at Thetma’s neck to distract while he pushed him, and took another hit, too numbed by excitement and fear to know exactly where or how hard.

They rolled closer to the water together, neither gaining advantage, then walked for a few moments on their knees over crabs and driftwood, falling back on their sides. Kale felt the urge to bite, to claw, to jab Thetma in the throat—anything and everything to win. But he remembered why he fought and just held on. He gave up trying to punch and slapped his knees or elbows at anything close and soft enough to hurt.

The fight didn’t last long, but left both boys exhausted. Their skin weighed heavy with sticky sand left from the receding tide; they’d hunched forward, arms on each other’s shoulders as much for support as attack. Kale reached up and half-slapped, half-struck Thetma across the face. Thetma struck him back. They both panted.

“Had enough?”

“Have you, Princeling?”

“Tanay, ka?”

This asked, roughly, in the Sri Kon dialect, “Do men not drown?”, as if to say, ‘we’re all going to die anyway, so why bother?’ ‘Ka’ could ask and answer.

“Ka, Tanay.”

“Yes,” he’d agreed, “men drown.”

The boys eased back and relaxed their arms, both trying to at least look ready for more.

Kale shot forward and threw an arm around the other boy’s shoulder, turning him to face the onlookers. They were all staring.

“You’re both complete shit!”

The boy-soldiers whooped and hollered. They gathered round and whacked the fighters’ backs as they passed through, Kale with his hand up and head lowered, expression serious.

“You’ll need a lot more practice, Prince,” “you both fight like my sisters!”, “he’s ruined his pretty face!”.

It followed them back towards the barracks—through high grass that pricked at their sand-burned knees, around make-shift shelters where a hundred boys ate cold rice and beans, then back to the shithole they now called home.

Kale considered it a success. After the days spent out-right avoided, stared at or whispered about every moment of the day, at least now they’d see his blood was red. His cheek and lip started to swell but he wore the wounds with pride. He’d have a chance now, at least, to be one of them, prince or not—just another boy with a bruised face and bloody knuckles rolling in the muck. And maybe he had a friend, too.

* * *

Morning drills started before the sun rose. Gods curse them to some awful hell.

To Kale it seemed clear a man should sleep when it was dark, and he was used to rising to the smells of warm breakfast, nestling into slippers, and perhaps ‘suffering’ through a language or history lesson taught by old men with rheumy eyes.

Here he enjoyed the shrill-voiced screaming of his squat, reeking training officer, who cursed him and his squad-mates with every vile word known in the tongues of the Isles until they’d risen from their beds. Today they were assembled in a line on the muster-field—apparently it was ‘special’.

He’d been licking swollen lips and rubbing swollen eyes when the officer stomped on his foot. The man propped himself up and kept screaming at the boys to ‘get tough or die’, his sweaty neck and face close enough for Kale to feel the warmth and smell the rum. Some of the soldiers watched from the corners of their eyes, probably wondering if the seargent knew his heel ground the son of the King of Sri Kon.

Not so much ‘one of them’ as I thought, Kale decided. But actually, he was curious too, at least in between spasms of pain shooting up his shin.

“Oh, I’m sorry, my lord, am I hurting your royal highness’ toes?”

Right. And yes, he thought, pretty sure that wasn’t the correct answer.

“Not at all, sir. Light as a feather.”

The seargent sneered. “Oh very good, noble lord.” The heel got heavier. “I wouldn’t want to cause your royal person any discomfort.”

Kale considered saying ‘Quite alright’, but lost his chance as the man screamed, spittle flying free.

“Now if you ever speak to me, ever again, with anything other than ‘yes, sir’, or ‘no, sir’, or ‘thank you, sir’, or ‘Yes Seargent Kwal, sir’ I’m going to beat your soft ass bloody. Do you understand?”

Kale cleared his throat, eye twitching, pain becoming intolerable. “Yes, sir, thank you Seargent Kwal, sir.”

The crushing of his foot eased—after a final dig—and the man glared for long seconds before walking down the line.

“Well, children, that’s what I think about our prince, imagine what the fuck I think of you!” He jerked to the side, landing an elbow square to the middle of another boy’s chest, who dropped to his knees and gasped for air.

“Get up you sniveling little shit!”

Sniveling little shit obeyed. Kale looked up at the horizon, scanning and failing to find a sign that the sun meant to come out in earnest. He sighed.

* * *

By breakfast, half the unit was gone—had failed the first test. Kale made his way over to Thetma in the sweltering mess tent and slumped onto a stool across their filthy table. The tent had no floor, only dirty sand mixed with bits of rotten food and flies, but Kale was just happy to sit down, and honestly pleased to see the boy.

At least half a dozen others had nearly drowned, dragged out of the water by the trainers while the seargent cursed them for fools and liars. It started very simply at the end of the line-up when he’d asked the boys if they could swim.

When most said ‘yes, sir’, he’d said ‘prove it’, and sent them all into the sea with heavy wooden paddles over their heads. He’d made them hold these in the air and tread water, and told them not to sink. Those who couldn’t swim or failed to last the ludicrous amount of time were rejected, and sent to the army.

The reward for the ‘winners’ came as food. Kale heaped a plate with corn, rice, sausage, some kind of bean paste, and what might have been seaweed—he really didn’t care—then stared at it and tried to build the strength to eat. It also occurred to him, now that he sat across from a commoner, that he’d never spoken to one alone except a servant. He hoped he’d eavesdropped often enough to get the idea.

“Well, that was awful.”

Thetma grunted, slurping at some water, and continued to spoon food into his mouth. He stopped long enough to roll some to the side with his tongue and mumble “Some advice in the navy—when you get the chance to eat, eat.”

Kale was almost famously resilient to advice, but this struck him as sound.

They ate together in silence, and with his plate picked clean, Thetma released a grunt between pleasure and discomfort. He stared at Kale, expressionless. “Didn’t figure they taught princes to swim.”

Kale returned the look. “It’s how we get away from farmers. After we’ve fucked their daughters.”

Thetma’s eye twitched. He shifted and cleared his throat. “That’s sensible.”

“I think so. Have any sisters?”

The boy’s lips curled. “So, why’d you pick a fight with me?”

Ah. Smarter than you look.

Kale wanted to say ‘I hate being alone, and if I didn’t do something that’s exactly what I’d be’. He supposed he could have said ‘because your sun-dark skin made it clear you’re a farmer, and a farmer in the navy must have a chip on his shoulder, so I knew it would be easy’.

“I knew I’d have to fight, figured I’d pick a guy my size.”

Thetma seemed satisfied. “How come you’re here?”

“I’m a fourth son. I’m expendable.”

Thetma looked satisfied with that, too. “Well. You’ll fit right in.”

Kale’s gut and shoulders hurt when he laughed. He raised his dirty, wooden water cup in a trembling hand, liking the boy. “To being expendable.” Thetma clinked it.

* * *

He lay in his bed that night in the barracks—which was really just cots and clay pots filled with urine—body uncomfortable and spent, mind racing. It was like lying on the floor, really, with slightly less dirt. His legs ached in strange places he didn’t know could ache, and he still wasn’t used to the stink of sweat and filth that filled the thin wooden walls. It rained softly but the roof made it echo, and he swore some kind of giant rat paced at the top, maybe trapped or drinking from the pools.

Thetma’s question repeated in his mind: why are you here?

His answer was as good as any. ‘Because I’m an increasingly disappointing son, and my father thought this would help’, felt pretty true, or maybe just ‘because the king of the greatest city-state in Pyu said so’.

Not that he’d ever been told, exactly, that he was a disappointment. But since he could count the number of conversations with his father on his hands, and since his brothers were better than him at…well, everything, it seemed a good bet. Most men in his father’s position would have many more children than just four sons. The king of Nong Ming Tong, it was said, had ten wives and concubines, and twice as many children. But Kale’s father had only two wives left, and no concubines—at least, none since Kale’s mother died.

He thought back to believing his mother turned into a fish, or that the sun bathed every night in the sea, angry that he still felt shame. So strange how a thing can one day be true, then another ridiculous.

Thinking of his brothers made him smile. He missed them, mostly, except the constant competition and comparing. He missed his Aunt and her laughter and attention. Most of all, he missed Lani, though they never really talked anymore. He supposed he just missed having her around. He missed the smell and sight of her at a meal, the way she ate her food, the way she giggled and talked to herself while she read. Shit.

He took a deep breath and tried to block her out. Instead his mind turned to the exact moment their relationship changed, as it often did, yet another memory that brought heat to his face.

He’d been eleven, and Lani living with his family for years—ever since her father made a trade treaty with the Alakus. King Kapule sent her as a ‘ward’, officially—under the ‘protection’ of his father. But really, she served as a polite hostage, sent as a gesture of trust, or a show of power. She was only a few months older than Kale and so they’d played together as children, even taking lessons together from the same tutors.

Unlike her, he’d been a lazy student. He hated the time alone just reading and memorizing things he didn’t much care about while the whole world moved around him. But it seemed easier when he had company. Somehow he could focus with someone near-by—not talking, or even listening, just being there so he didn’t feel isolated and outside of things. He’d bring his books and flop down on Lani’s bed while she did her work, or made necklaces, or played with his hair, their bodyguards throwing dice in the hall.

This went on for years without note from Aunt Kikay or maids or tutors, and so it wasn’t strange that he’d walked in one day past her uncaring servants without pausing, and found her fussing with her dark, long locks in a small mirror. But it was strange to find her topless, covered only by a small cloth on her lap.

She hadn’t panicked or shouted. She’d just put an arm across her chest and frowned, waving the other to shoo him away. He’d stood there and stared.

Sun poured in from the window that lit half her brown skin, and she glowed in the light. He’d never really noticed her small breasts, her slight curves, which were now subtle, but clear. She is no longer a little girl, he remembered thinking, and she is not my sister. She looked like an artist’s painting, posed and still in the fading of the day, and he had stared at her.

Her frown and shoo turned more persistent, then he’d watched her face redden but still didn’t move. She’d said his name—he’d give anything to remember exactly how she’d said his name. Then she’d shyly pulled the much-too-small cloth up to cover somewhere between half her breasts and a quarter of her thighs, leaping up and running to the small washing room, exposing her back-side to him completely along the way.

She’d come out dressed as if nothing happened. He’d already settled in to try and read, but he kept stealing glances, laying rigid as a stick, reading the same page over and over and understanding nothing. After awhile she’d asked what he was doing, and all he could muster was ‘Nothing’, in a nasty tone, so she’d left. He never read in her room again.

He could see now, looking back, she’d tried to get them past the awkwardness. She’d made some joke about a birthmark on her thigh, asking him what he’d thought of her hair, or if he thought she needed to lose any weight. But every time she tried he’d blushed or gotten tongue-tied. His shyness had made hers worse, and soon she stopped trying.

He dragged himself back to reality, angry. You’ve punished yourself so many times.

The truth was, he missed her, and not just for the past several days, but the past few years. Right now he also missed his servants, and his bed, his tutors, and the palace. But he felt trapped by them, too. He felt tired and worn down, both in body and mind, and he felt alone. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing here, or at all, and only wanted to get away. Get away from responsibility and competition, expectations and failure.

He wished his mother really had become a fish because maybe then he could too. He sighed and hated himself for the thought. Such things are for children, and I am nearly a man.

He felt an urge to walk, to swim, to drown. He rose in the dark, watching the others quietly for movement, then slipped out into the night.

4

“It’s official, I’m old.”

Amit of Naran clutched the bamboo rail of the merchant catamaran while he muttered to himself in his native tongue. He’d gone all day on the water without throwing up, but now he felt his resistance crumble as night fell and he lost even clouds to steady his eyes and gut.

“How far?” he called over the waves in what he hoped was passable Tong, not risking turning his head back to look at the brass-nosed captain.

The man didn’t answer. He never bloody answers, but nevermind, and curse him to hell.

Amit was tired of traveling and traveling men. He wanted a warm, soft bed in a room with a roof. He wanted to hear or see or smell a woman, or watch a child at play. He wanted to sit still and drink wine over a three-course meal that took all night to eat. I’m a tired, sick old man, and I’m a thousand miles from home.

“I say toss overboard.”

Amit’s ears weren’t what they used to be, but he heard that clear enough despite the wind. The men had switched to a gutter-shite sailor’s brogue, and only God knew why or when Amit picked the language up. I remember it, but not why, how strange the mind can be.

With a deep, steadying breath he turned to face the crew and saw some huddled on the prow, studiously avoiding him with their eyes.

“Wonderful.” He half burped the word and swallowed something more than just saliva. Even Amit could see they weren’t yet at Sri Kon’s main harbor, which is where he paid them handsomely to take him. He’d told them he was a servant and messenger from the Empire of Naran, and that he was sent to speak with the King of Sri Kon—both of which were mostly true.

Despite his greasy, Southron looks, the captain had seemed a trustworthy sort—at least as trustworthy as any sailor—and anyway, he was all Amit could afford on his reckless budget. But now foul weather loomed, the night grew dark, and it appeared the man thought it best just to kill his passenger and take his kingly ‘gift’ rather than risk a landing.

Amit considered a few different lies or threats to save himself. The simplest would be to say he’d given their names to a trusted man on the mainland, and that they’d be declared pirates if he failed to arrive. A good idea. I wish I’d thought of it sooner, and that it was true.

Anyway these sailors half-worshiped Pyu gods, which meant they’d abandoned their names in the hopes of slipping through the waves unnoticed by Roa, their god of the sea. Such men went so far as to refrain from naming their own ship—a superstition most other sailors found terrifyingly wrongheaded. Amit just thought it conspicuously convenient for piracy.

The captain raised a hand to his men as if to calm them. He aped a smile and bowed his head towards Amit in ‘respect’. His nasally voice seemed to echo in his fake nose. “Need we go all the way to harbor, Aba? Flat beach is enough, yes?”

Tong always referred to their elders as ‘Aba’, which just reminded Amit what an old fart he was when it came from a leathery sea-dog like the captain. “Sorcerer-King expect me tonight,” he said in what he hoped passed for their language, “if late I fear…come looking, understand? King very upset.”

The pirate nodded in deference, seeming to understand, but his greasy smile didn’t touch his eyes. He put his palms together and bowed his shoulders like a monk. “Almost there, Aba.”

Amit smiled back without humor and settled into his hard wooden seat, shifting the leather-wrapped gift at his side. His ‘escort’ didn’t know what the gift was, but they likely figured anything for a king was valuable. And indeed it was valuable—at least to scholars and men of state—the leather bag contained a vellum map of the known world by Naranian reckoning, painfully kept and bickered over by academy elite. It showed every known race and king of men from the Northern desert to the Southern coast, and though just a copy, was likely the best of its kind in an age. The emperor offered it as a gift, yes, but also as a message. It said to any king who held it: ‘this is the world of men, and Naran’s borders cover a third of it’.

“I give no shit for island king.”

More debate followed in the sailor’s slang. It seemed the captain wanted to take Amit as a slave, his thinking that an old translator might be valuable to the right merchant, but the crew preferred just to dump him in the sea and sail home.

Neither option appealed much to Amit. He considered telling them who he really was, but they likely wouldn’t believe him. In the off chance they did they’d either be so terrified they’d drown him and his gift simply to hide their guilt, or they’d be stupid enough to kidnap him. Another losing strategy.

At this point he would happily offer them more money—if he had any, but the long journey alone from Naran had consumed every coin. I’m an old, stubborn fool and why the hell do I get myself into these things?

He couldn’t help but smile at the thrill of danger that tickled his curving spine. He knew bloody well why. The same reason he kicked beehives as a boy and picked fights with bigger men. Because others think I can’t, or shouldn’t.

And he still had his trick. He struggled down to his sore knees on the hard angles of the hull, doing his best to steady his gut as the waves rocked the boat. From one of his robe’s many inner pockets he took out a Tong charm of reincarnation—basically a loop of string with wooden toggles and rings carved with a knife. He lowered his head and held the charm while he chanted nonsense in a dozen languages, throwing in the names of Pyu and Tong gods and similarly superstitious blather, gesturing dramatically and including the crew and the ship in his words of divine commandment.

With his eyes closed he couldn’t see the sailors, but heard their silence. He imagined them staring slack-jawed and shaken, their fear of killing a holy man greater by far than their fear of landfall on a bumpy sea. He kissed the charm and gestured in what might be a Naranian native fertility rite, but nevermind, then looked up and refrained from smiling, eager to see the spiritual cowing he’d wrought—and not for the first time—on uneducated men.

His heart leapt as he saw the almost childish shame in the sailor’s eyes and postures, faces turned down as if their mothers had caught them stealing. That’s right you damned fools, you’ll come back as dung beetles, or something, if you kill a ‘priest’.

Then the boat rocked hard, and though Amit managed to steady himself, promptly threw up.

He had the presence only to turn his mouth away from his robes, then watch the contents of his stomach paint half of his seat. He rose up and groaned, wiping at his mouth with his wrist, then looked back to the crew, feeling only a little guilt at vomiting in their boat.

Well you were plotting to kill me, he thought, then noticed they still stared at him. And their gaze is slightly off…

He followed their eyes and found a piece of lumber meant for ship repairs, alarmingly close to his head. He had time enough only to say “Oh,” as it swung down. He saw the jiggling of the captain’s brass nose, then all the world went black.

* * *

Kale found a corpse on the beach. At least, that’s what it looked like, but the bright moon hid behind black night clouds. He felt hollow, somehow, and only wanted to be alone and ignored. The sound of the waves and the wind made the world feel huge and elemental, and Kale stood still for a moment, not sure he wanted to break the feeling by getting involved.

Then the corpse groaned. On closer inspection it looked like an old man, probably a foreigner. His clothes were heavy—nothing like the silk or thin cloth worn by islanders—and his pale skin seemed to reflect the dim moonlight. He looked a bit dirty and wet, but his hair and beard were trimmed, his body whole. Probably just a drunk merchant.

“Loa.” Kale said—a formal greeting. He held back a sigh and kept where he was because all his life he’d been taught not to trust, especially when you felt safe.

The old man raised his head and blinked his eyes. He lay flat on his stomach, and when Kale saw the sand stuck to his cheek, and the pained expression on his face, concern replaced weariness.

“Are you alright?” He knelt to lift the man to a sit.

The foreigner muttered words Kale didn’t understand. He put a hand to his scalp and Kale saw the blood. They examined the wound together—the old man with his fingers, Kale with his eyes.

“I’m alright,” said the stranger, now in Pyuish common, his accent nothing like the diplomats and merchants Kale had ever heard. He’s not from the isles, or the mainland coast, at least nowhere near. Then he grinned crookedly and his eyes glittered. “Still alive.”

Kale blinked, then grinned back. “Still alive.” He helped the man stand and they wobbled together but managed. Kale stayed silent and let his elder get his bearings, only releasing his arm once he seemed steady.

The merchant suddenly jerked as he looked around the beach. He closed his eyes and muttered in the short, harsh sounds of a curse, then straightened. “My name is Amit.” He bowed oddly from his waist.

Kale tried to return it, though his people ‘hunched’ more than bowed like the foreigner, and he felt slightly awkward. He introduced himself only as Kale, leaving out the princely titles.

“I am very pleased to meet you,” said Amit. “You are the first, ah, islander I should have the very good fortune of seeing.”

“Oh?” Kale smiled, impressed at the man’s clear and correct words—especially since he’d just been a corpse.

“I’ve had a bit of a…problem. The men who sailed me they… left me on this beach, and took all of my…things.”

Kale nodded, not surprised. Robbing foreigners and merchants passed as a profession in the Isles, or at least it used to. Now King Farahi called them pirates and criminals and hunted them down like dogs, but it didn’t stop many without better options.

“I think I’ll make a fire, and…sleep here for the night.” The old man gestured at the beach. “Rather than go… exciting anyone in the dark. And, ah, I’m not sure where I am.”

For a man who’s just been clubbed, robbed and marooned, Kale thought, this wrinkly-skinned foreigner is calm and polite. “You are near Sri Kon—an hour’s walk from the city walls, in a military district. But I’m afraid if you made a fire here and went to sleep, you’d soon be floating in the sea.” He gestured with his hands to show the rising tide like Tane would, only slightly concerned his accent and words would give him away as princely.

Amit looked in the direction of the water. “So, I am an idiot.” Kale repressed his laugh. “Well, if you should know a…place with beds for rent. You understand? I would be grateful. But,” the old man patted his pockets and grimaced, “I have no money.”

“Do you have friends here? Are you a merchant?”

Amit glanced away with a squint. “No, I’m…no. Ah, I’m a…scholar. A philosopher.”

Oh bloody hell, Kale thought. “You’re a priest?”

The old man jerked as if he’d been struck. “No I am certainly not.”

Kale raised his eyebrows, not really caring. He’d had his share of religious education though, and priests always bored him to tears. Foreign priests were the worst.

“If you ask a priest, ‘what is the sun?’,” said Amit, in a tone and cadence almost like an actor of sebu plays, “He might say, ‘It is God, shining in the heavens’. But if you ask a philosopher, he is likely to say, ‘I have no idea.’

Kale took that in and smiled again. What a strange, intriguing man, he thought. “Very well, Philosopher Amit. What brings you here?”

The ‘scholar’ stared, then shrugged his weak, round shoulders as if to say ‘why not?’

He took a long breath and explained he’d been sent by the Emperor of Naran to speak or at least listen on his behalf—that he came as a messenger of peace, or a diplomat, or some other court official.

Kale took it in and said nothing, cursing his luck, not sure if he should now announce who he was, or if it even mattered. Amit cleared his throat absently in the way of old men.

“I don’t suppose you could tell me where the palace is?”

Kale kept his face neutral but groaned inwardly, feeling the battle against politeness lost already. “Yes, of course—I can take you.”

Amit almost slumped in relief. “Oh, thank you my boy, truly, I owe you…that is, I’m in your debt.” He closed his eyes and put a hand to his head. “It’s been a very long day.”

Kale nodded and helped him off the beach, brushing sand from the long, thick, and impractical fabric that covered him neck-to-ankles, thinking it best he hadn’t arrived in the scorching sun. Secretly he cursed good manners and all charitable things, and hoped no one saw him at the palace.

* * *

It became clear as they walked that Amit could not see. Kale took his arm after he stumbled on the first groove on the flat-stone path.

“Thank you, yes thank you. I’m afraid my eyes aren’t as sharp in the dark as they used to be.”

“No trouble,” Kale said, and they kept on in awkward silence. Amit seemed uncomfortable being helped. “Why don’t you tell me about Naran? I know only that it’s far away, and little else.”

The old man perked up, and Kale thought he’d chosen correctly. “Ah, a curious mind. That’s good! Well, what should I tell you? My home is on a plain. You know this word? Great fields in every direction. There’s no water for many day’s travel, if you can believe, save for a few pitiful wells and streams.”

Kale smiled, not particularly interested, but sensing the man’s growing ease.

“My people are farmers, mostly. Though there are vast mines, too, worked by thousands of men.”

That’s my cue. “What crops do you grow?”

“Oh, rice, and wheat. Many things, many grains. Are you interested in agriculture?”

Kale smiled and shrugged.

“Ha, no, I suppose not. Girls and soldiering, yes?”

Despite himself, and to his great annoyance, Kale blushed. He hoped Amit couldn’t see.

“Well, there are many beautiful women in Naran. Of every color, shape, and ah, temperament.” He winked, further deepening Kale’s embarrassment.

Let’s change the subject. “And soldiers?”

“Ah yes, many soldiers. The larger the empire, the larger the army.”

“And how large is Naran?”

“Oh, quite large, quite large now. Been expanding since I was a boy.”

“Towards the sea?”

Kale quirked an eyebrow, and Amit had the hint of a smile.

“In most every direction.”

Kale thought the fake concern would be amusing, but he wasn’t actually worried about Naran, or anyone else. Pyu had the largest, most capable navy in the world, and the only way to attack it was along a coast controlled by his father’s many allies, through a sea named for his ancestors, against a people who knew their islands and weather better than anyone, and intentionally made no maps.

They walked for awhile in silence, but Kale still sensed the old man’s displeasure at needing help, and perhaps his frustration at the gloom.

“This emperor of yours—what’s he like?”

“Oh, an impressive man. Strong, and wise.”

What was that look, Kale wondered? He let the pause drag meaningfully. “Really?”

Amit laughed out loud, and despite the cough that followed, the sound was genuine and pleasant.

“Yes, really! Oh, a little too fond of his own myth, perhaps. Fancies himself the son of god, you see.”

Gods with men for children? Ridiculous. “That’s good luck.”

“Ha. Yes, well. His father isn’t alive to protest. No matter. Are there no worshipers of Ru in your islands?”

Kale shook his head, not really sure, noticing Amit’s words grew faster and smoother with every sentence. They kept moving, and the older man’s feet kept stumbling on the road, though it was well-made and mostly flat. They soon heard the roaring of water.

“The Kubi,” said Kale, sensing interest. “It’s the main river that flows through most of the island.”

“What’s that sound? A waterfall?”

“It’s, well, you’ll see. We’ll be crossing a bridge.”

They moved forward, and the step-like stone structure called a ‘weir’ built into the river grew visible in torch-light.

“It looks like a dam, except there’s water flowing through!”

“Yes, it…controls it, I guess.” Kale’s face scrunched as he searched his brain. Damned boring tutors and their damned boring lessons. “It’s measuring the strength, somehow. And it, uh, helps prevent flooding, and keeps water for the dry season. I think.”

Amit looked positively enthusiastic, eyes straining in the dark.

“The people call them ‘drowning steps’. Children have died swimming. It sucks things down, you see?”

The Naranian’s eyes searched the river, mostly in vain, his face more serious. “How terrible.”

Kale shrugged. “Gods, eh?” The foreigner blinked and looked confused, and Kale glanced around, thinking his point was obvious. “They’re murderers. Child-killers.”

He said this without malice, knowing as any islander would that most sky and water gods were evil, lazy, man-haters, and that this was just the way of things.

Amit though seemed surprised, clearing his throat and failing to suppress an amused grin.

What a strange, old man.

* * *

“Does it surround the whole city?”

Sri Kon’s outer moat and city walls came into view, and Amit’s eyes widened as he whistled.

“Yes, mostly.”

“I…understood the Pyu haven’t fought any wars in…a very long time.”

Kale shrugged, supposing that was so. He’d never seen war or met anyone who did except foreigners. “Maybe that’s because we build big walls.”

Amit smiled. “Well I’ve told you about Naran. What can you tell me about your king?”

Careful now, Kale thought, I’m just some island boy who shouldn’t know much of anything. “Well, what do you know already?”

The old man took a breath. “I know his parents, and most of his family, are dead from disease, and he’s ruled since he was a boy. I know he has two wives, one sister, and four sons, and that he’s put down at least one small rebellion. I know he favors trade, peace, and order.”

You left out the ‘kin-slaying sorcerer’ part, Kale thought. “You know quite a lot. What’s he have to do with Naran?”

The old man shrugged, but Kale sensed deception. “We have much to gain from one another. Naran could be an opportunity for him.”

“Mmm.” Kale’s mind instinctively blanked in boredom. Now he sounds just like all the other foreign ambassadors who want something.

“You don’t sound convinced.”

Kale paused but decided to help. “Never tell an islander you have an ‘opportunity’. He’ll think you’re a cheat, and a liar.”

Amit smiled widely at that, and they passed finally in comfortable silence through the main gate to a series of empty streets. Kale could see the older man squinting his eyes, eagerly trying to make out the scene before him.

“Fired-brick and sandstone,” he explained.

“Ah, thank you. What are those little things sticking out of rooftops?”

Kale had to look himself, but knew at once. “Oh. Markers—for the sky god, Rangi. They’re asking to be spared, if he gets angry, or if Matea comes.”

Amit raised an eyebrow.

“God of the winds, and storms. He hates the other gods, and man too.”

The old man smiled as if amused, though Kale sensed perhaps condescension. “And do you believe in these things?”

He shrugged, thinking yes, and very no. “When I’m caught in a storm.”

Amit kept his smile and nodded, leaning more heavily for support by the moment.

“We’re almost there,” Kale told him. “The palace is more or less in the centre of the city, but it’s a bit closer on this side.”

The foreigner nodded, but left his gaze now only on the road as he tried to keep his feet. They passed a few men living on the streets, their wide-brim hats and outstretched hands the only thing visible as they begged even in sleep.

Abject poverty was uncommon in the isles, but no matter the wealth of a city, some few unlucky cripples, addicts and other misfits found their lives in tatters. As Amit noticed them he startled. “Is it, er, safe? To be walking the city at night? I hope I haven’t placed us in any danger.”

Kale shook his head. “There’s some rapists and thieves, but we need fear neither, I think.” It was mostly true, but foreigners were targets, even broke ones, so he kept them moving. He wasn’t sure if he should distract the man with more questions, or just leave him in peace, and it was hard to tell in the pale light, but his face seemed a little whiter than before. Kale hunched in and tried to take more weight with his shoulder.

They plodded on, passing the main Alhunan temple without notice, though in the day the massive building would shine in the sunlight, gold-plated roof and statues a tribute to the wealth of the city.

Kale’s mind strayed to religious classes as a child. Mostly he remembered drawing doodles while teacher’s voices called out his name again and again. His Aunt scolded him, furious when the monks approached her, genuinely concerned about Kale’s hearing. She politely said that his hearing was fine, thank you, and to please inform her in future if they encountered any problems. But he’d seen her laughing when she told his nursemaid.

Anger and laughter rolled together, that’s my Aunt Kikay.

She was nothing like his father—the tempest above a calm and frightening sea, and Kale often wondered about siblings and how they could be so different. Or perhaps that was precisely why—the younger stepping in to fill the gaps left by the older, and left by the parents. What gaps do I fill for my brothers?

Passed the temple quarter and another layer of merchant stalls, the huge enclosure of the palace walls loomed. Large, lit lanterns hung always near the gates at night, and despite his fatigue, Amit seemed to notice the green-blue feet laying just outside them, as if severed from a sea giant made of stone. He did his best to ask in his state of exhaustion—a grunt and shrug in the feet’s direction.

“The feet of the Traveler,” said Kale. “The Enlightened, and first king of Pyu, who came to these islands from the Western ocean long ago.” He gave Amit’s arm a squeeze. “They’re to remind us all men once came from somewhere else. Don’t worry, ours is a friendly folk.” He set the old man down, resting his back against the gates. Amit made some small protest, promising he would surely never rise again, but he yielded at once, reaching only to hold Kale’s arm.

“My boy, forgive me. I know nothing about you. I should like to see you rewarded—is there a family name or a place I could seek out when I’m rested?”

Kale gripped and pat his hand. “No need, grandfather. Now let me speak to these men.”

It seemed only two gate-guards stood duty at night. These ones were young, which perhaps explained their fortune of standing at the armpit of the morning. Kale knew their faces, but not their names. He approached and touched the back of his hand to his forehead, as any child would greet an older stranger formally.

“Loa”, he said. “I’ve brought an old man. A foreigner. He is tired, hurt, and maybe sick. But he has business with the palace in the morning and needs a place to sleep for the night. Please help him.”

The guards looked over Kale and the strangely garbed man behind, then they glanced at each other.

“Sorry, boy, but you’ll have to take him away. The palace is not a place for vagrants and sick men.”

Kale stared and stood still, confused. Then he considered his navy-recruit shorts, bare-chest, and bruised face, and realized he hadn’t been recognized. He didn’t consider very long.

“I am Ratama. Kale. Alaku.” He did his best to stand his full height and lower his voice—to sound like his father. He stepped forward, and the startled men gripped their spears, eyes widening.

“You will pick this man up, and you will place him in one of the palace guest rooms. You will then walk to the kitchens where you will fetch him food and water. You will wake a physician. You will draw a bath. And you will bathe him, if he requires.”

The men’s faces flashed from embarrassment to fear. “My prince. We hadn’t recognized you, please forgive…”

“Where is your compassion? You stand five steps from the Enlightened.” He pointed at the feet, and realized it was why he was so angry. “You turn aside a tired old man? A guest, a traveler, who asks for your help?”

The guard who spoke shook his head and shrugged, face red.

“Welcome to the palace of the greatest king of Pyu, now fuck off, is it?”

Both men rushed forward to collect Amit, who groaned as they lifted him up.

The heat in Kale’s skin subsided, and he wondered how much Amit had heard, but supposed it didn’t matter. In his state he wasn’t about to ask questions. Kale let the guards take him off towards one of the many guest rooms without a goodbye. He’d been on the fence about staying in his own room for the night, or returning to the barracks. But not anymore. One way or another, he got the feeling there’d be excitement in the morning.

5

Ruka feared his mother wouldn’t wake. He spent most of the night watching. The chief’s Matron received them, expressionless, and they shared soft furs that usually held young girls in a room as big as Beyla’s house. Caro’s daughters brought a breakfast of hot pea soup and hard bread, which tasted plain next to Beyla’s cooking, but Ruka always thought the expertise wasted on him anyway. He didn’t bother trying to identify the meat.

Beyla’s eyes opened as he tried to feed her.

“Eat, Mother, the day will be long.”

She smiled and slurped at the spoon. “Too long, I fear.” She rose up to her elbows with a struggle. “Kunla is afraid of what will happen at a trial. She will try to stop us from speaking. And if she accuses us, and there is no one there to speak against, we will be called guilty.”

The specific rules of law were not written in Galdra’s book, and so Ruka didn’t know them. But if his mother said it worked this way, then it must be so. “I’ll go alone, Mother, you’re too sick.”

Her smile formed weak, distorted. “My brave boy. You don’t know the way, and it must be me who speaks. To convince the judges will be difficult, and it won’t matter what you say, it won’t be enough.”

“I’ll find it. A valley next to a volcano, and a river. Every hero in the book made a speech there that went on forever. I’ll find it. I know the way.”

She managed to smile a little more at that. “You’ll still need me at the circle, but we must avoid the roads. If Kunla and her murderers find us she will kill us. Believe that.”

He re-watched the images of Kunla as she eyed him like a butcher with a corpse. Oh yes, he thought, I believe it. “Maybe Chief Caro can help.”

She looked away, then settled back into her furs. “Yes. Maybe.”

Ruka heard them through the wall sometime after. They closed the door, but he pushed his ear up against the wood and could pick out the chief’s deeper voice.

“…sorry. I’m ordered ta stay here… don’ know who’s going with her—some men from another town, I expect, er chiefless.”

“…take away my family, Beyla. There’s nothin’ I can do.”

“generous…too generous. I can’t. And I still lose my children.”

They went quiet for a while.

“…please, no, please. I’m a small man with small ambitions…I could never…not a Vishan. Gods, woman, is Brand’s fate not proof enough? Would ye ruin me, too?”

The door opened, and Beyla walked back to their room, her face sagging again and pale. “We go alone, Ruka. Pack your things.”

Caro’s matron met them at the door before they left. She gave them as much water as they dared carry, a bit of dried meat and two thick blankets. She spoke quietly to Beyla who whispered back and hugged her.

They left the house at dawn and followed the road to the edge of the village. Then they turned and made their way on the edge of the cold, vast steppe, still darkened by a lingering night.

Ruka’s curiosity proved too much. “Mother—why did the chief’s matron help us? What did she say to you?”

Beyla didn’t answer right away. When she did her words came careful, as if she didn’t wish to say. “Her name is Betha.” After a pause: “She offered to leave Caro in peace, so I could claim him.”

For a moment Ruka heard only the wind and the crunch of snow beneath his boots. This made no sense.

His mother sighed. “She follows the old gods, and the old ways. She may not like me, but she believes that one day a Vishan woman, with the right man, will birth divine children. She believes these children will bring the release of Noss from the mountain—the end of this world, and the beginning of the new.”

Ruka knew this as he knew all the legends and prophecies. Sometimes he’d thought his mother believed thats what he was, though she never said so. Normally he didn’t care because it didn’t really matter. But now, she had turned down the offer of salvation. Her beliefs had made her a fool.

“But..why, why didn’t you accept?” He put a hand to his long, greasy hair. “It was a way out for you!”

His mother stopped walking. “Because I don’t matter, Ruka. Because…because I have already given birth to such a child, don’t you see? And I must ensure his safety.”

Ruka swallowed and closed his eyes. She’d finally said it out loud. He’d always tried to believe as she believed, or failing that, to respect it. But this was too much.

“It’s just a stupid book!” His chest heaved. “I’m just deformed, Mother, there is no reason or meaning to it, no truth. I couldn’t end the world even if I wanted to, and I don’t want to. Don’t you see how stupid it sounds? I’m not worth it, Mother!”

Her eyes watered at once. “Oh my son. You’re not deformed. You’re beautiful…you’re a genius…don’t you see?”

He couldn’t listen to it, not now—not when she’d just thrown away her one chance of a good life without him. “Stop it. Just stop. I’m single-born. I’m bad luck and maybe cursed, Beyla. Everyone but you sees that.” He felt tears of his own. “Don’t you see I ruined your life? Can’t you god damn see that?”

She dropped to her knees and took his hand before he could pull it away. “No, my son, my gift. Don’t say such things. Listen to me.”

“No, I’m tired of it, I don’t want...”

“You will listen.”

He tried not to be so weak, and to hold back the unmanly sob that wracked his body.

“I’m very sick,” she said, which didn’t help. “Forget what I believe, or the gods, or what people think. You’re just a boy, so you can’t yet see, but you’re good, you’re special, and wise. But this world is dark and cold and cruel, Ruka. It eats weakness and spits it out,” she squeezed his hand. “You must take that good boy, and hide him here.” She put her fingers to his chest.

“Put him so deep, my son, that only you and I can find him, in a special place. Hide him there until it’s safe to return.” She swallowed and took his lumpy chin and held it hard enough to hurt. “Then you take this world by the throat and you throttle it. That’s all the legends mean. Remember the stories, and the gods. Remember everything I’ve taught you. I should have taught you more and I’m sorry, I haven’t been enough. One day you can use this,” she touched his head, “and you can break this place down, if you choose, or build it up. You can find Noss, Ruka, or the edges of the world. You can change everything. Anything you want. You can write your own story and be free. And not these unworthy men, nor these terrified women can stop you and your mind and your old gods. Do you understand?”

He didn’t, not at all. But he watched his tears roll onto her hand and just nodded mutely. She pulled him down and he squeezed her chest, and they stayed like that for awhile as he ran his hands through her golden hair and swayed from side to side. He kissed her head and said he loved her, and he thought maybe, somehow, things could still work out. They would make it to the valley of law. Beyla would recover and cow Kunla with her words, and the jurors would hear the truth and protect them.

“We’ll be alright, Mother. I’ll protect you. You’ve been enough, you’ve been more than enough, and it’s my turn now.”

She said nothing and he thought that strange.

“Mother?” He eased his grip.

Her arms had gone slack and somehow he hadn’t noticed. She shook as he released her, as if she were cold.

“Stop it. Mother? Mother wake up!”

He held her back and saw that her eyes went white, her mouth hung open, spit frothing like a dog.

“No, no, please, no. Beyla! Stop it! Not now! Not now!”

She stilled except for a twitch, then she moaned and spit dripped down her mouth. Ruka smelled a foulness and realized she’d loosened her bowels. She hardly breathed. He stared and held her up, weeping like a little boy, kissing her face and trying to shake her eyes back into focus.

“No, no, no.” He rocked her, trying to lift her to her feet, but she’d gone limp and sagged. He gave up and sat in the grass and moved her head to his lap, stroking her golden hair while he looked up at the clouds.

I’ve killed her, he realized. I was too afraid to leave, and finally, my curse has killed her.

If he left again she’d no doubt recover with time. But he didn’t have the strength to carry her to the valley, or even back to the village. And if he stayed perhaps his curse would make her sicker, and Ruka could not keep them both alive in the open for long. I could run and get Caro, he thought, and he could help her again.

But then he would never make the valley in time. He and Beyla would be made outcasts, and her last days before the priestesses found and killed her would be spent wallowing in failure, her ‘special’ son ruined.

Ruka knew she would rather die in the steppes. She would rather freeze to the cold earth while crows and wolves picked at her corpse.

He managed to hold back the retch. “I am a demon in truth. It’s my fault.”

He’d never believed the nonsense of haunted forests or gods or prophecies, but here he was, different and alone, his holy mother who should have been revered instead dying in a field, unwept and forgotten except by him. Who else could be to blame?

Beyla’s skin grew pale and clammy, the slits of her white eyes open. I can’t just leave her.

She would want to be burned, he knew, to go back to the ashes she believed men came from. But he had no trees for fuel, and no time.

I don’t matter, he heard her lecturing him, if you die then all my sacrifice was for nothing. You must get to the valley of law.

“I can’t.” He closed his eyes. “I can’t just leave you here.”

You must, my son. Put away childish things. This is weakness, and you must never be weak again.

He nodded and took out his knife, and stroked her hair. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry Mother I’m so sorry.”

He couldn’t know if she was suffering. He put the blade to her hair and cut a hand’s length of perfect, golden-brown strands, putting the lock in his jacket pocket as he looked at the sky. He could see winter-birds, perhaps finches crossing the flatness to better ground. Even the white clouds moved away together, ignoring him as they had when the Hulbron mothers tried to take his hands. The world is so big and terrifying and unexplained, and I am just one small boy.

He froze Beyla’s words in his mind like a prayer. The only faith he’d ever need.

Put that gentle boy so deep, my son, that only you and I can find him, in a special place

Ruka looked for a place in his mind—a place he’d keep his childhood, his mother and her love-lies. I am everything the stories say. I have killed the kindest, most beautiful woman in the world with my curse, and I will burn in the mountain forever.

That’s all he would be now—all he ever could be, except in that place, untouchable and safe and hers.

It was my mother’s gods who made me, or it was no one. He almost laughed but sobbed instead. Divine children. War of the gods. End of the world. So be it, he’d believe.

“Careful what you prophesy,” he whispered, wiping at his cheeks.

He would spend what life he had finding these gods, if they existed, and he would spit in their faces. And if they were too afraid and never showed themselves, then he would eat their fucking children in the night.

I’ll be part of your book, Mother, but not like Egil or Haki or Rupa. I’ll be Omika, the giant. I’ll be the monster who frightens little girls. That’s what I am. I’ll butcher the whole world one by one with my bare hands, and when they’re all dead, the lawmakers and priestesses and all their servants, then I’ll go to the afterlife and find you, and I’ll make you their queen.

He swore it again out loud for Edda, then a third and final time to Noss. He swore with his eyes on the horizon, warmth spilling over his hands as he dragged the knife. He swore in his mother’s blood.

* * *

But he almost died halfway to Alverel. He’d been day-dreaming, crossing over a small frozen stream, and lost his footing, so surprised he’d hardly stopped the fall as he came down hard on his shoulder next to a large, mossy rock. It scuffed the side of his head and said ‘a few inches over, and I’d have split your skull, you damned fool’. His senses sharpened and his heart pounded in his chest. It wasn’t death he feared, it was failure.

Ruka sat up and wiggled his toes. He’d sensed something wrong there, but hadn’t had the time or inclination to take his boot off and look. He suspected frostbite from his time in the stocks. No sharp pain was a bad sign, and it seemed his balance was off, but no matter.

He took the Beyla-sized hole in the world that threated to swallow him and put it in his special place. The thing in the field wasn’t her anymore. Beyla lived in paradise now, waiting for him. Or she’s just cold, dead flesh on the ground, food for animals and flies and worms.

From her body he’d taken only the hair and the Book of Galdra and walked away, fixing his eyes to the North-West and the mountain peaks. The heroes of legend had always journeyed there with horses, or dogs, but he had neither.

The white, bright flatness stretched on and on, and for most of the day the mountains seemed an illusion, never growing closer, never changing, looming above the flatlands as if in some immortal judgment. There was nothing around him but grass poking out of snow, and the wind. Bitter, freezing wind, even though the season was ending. The harsher gusts sapped Ruka’s will and made him wonder at the point of the journey at all—his mother said they wouldn’t listen, at least not to him.

Galdra’s book said a Speaker must be at least sixteen. But Caro thought I looked older than I am, perhaps that will matter. And he’d heard what his mother said—murder, poison; the lands now belong to Kunla. Results would be his proof, though he knew really his curse had killed her and not some poison. For Kunla’s part, she would accuse him of the intent and attempt to murder, and if found guilty, he’d become an outlaw—outside of civilization, like an animal.

Entering any town or house would become a crime punishable by death. His mother’s land would be taken, and no act against him would be considered unlawful. This could last a year, perhaps more, and Kunla would come for him, he was certain of that. He would likely not survive. No, I must at least try and prevent such a verdict.

He needed time now to fulfill his purpose. He needed time to grow, learn how to fight, and to learn more of the world, for he knew precious little except for what it said in his book and what his mother told him. Perhaps my mother’s kin will help me. Or perhaps one of the other thirty-five chiefs.

He knew words and plants and he would work as hard as any man alive to earn his place. Perhaps only a lesser chief would take him, but that would do. One day he could earn a sword and live in the company of warriors until the time was right. It wasn’t likely, but not impossible—unless he was an outlaw.

All day his feet followed each other forward in the endless plain. Ruka could still see despite the narrow moon, but as darkness and its cold came he feared he must build a fire or freeze. He had flint in his pack. He found a small, frozen slough with enough dead trees to last the night, hacking them apart easily with his hatchet, then had them cut and blazing in a few minutes. He drank from his flask, ate dried, salted mutton, and lay out a small bear-skin to sleep, but it wouldn’t come. He sat staring into the fire.

Put him so deep, my son, that only you and I can find him, in a special place.

With a smile he imagined a small clearing in an endless woods. He called it his Grove. The air was always warm there, he decided, and he faced no dangers because he’d be alone. Of course I’m alone, he thought, the Grove is too small and barren.

Like all thoughts, once he’d imagined it, it was strangely hard to change, and impossible to forget. It seemed only fair though to give himself the tools he knew in life, so he imagined a small pile of iron shovels and picks and knives, and an axe appeared in his hand. A Grove-axe, he smiled, holding it up in the false, sunless light, just like an ancient shaman.

He would need to build a good house stocked with supplies, and perhaps a garden for his mother to tend, if she ever came. Of course he’d need to clear trees for space, but then he’d need the lumber anyways. The house would need two rooms so his mother could be with his father when he came in the night, and of course it would need a fine hearth, with a place to prepare meals. Maybe even two hearths, like Hulbron’s hall. Ruka smiled. Why not? It was all just pretend.

He found the book of Galdra there, too, lying on a patch of moss. He stopped and flipped it open and saw that it had all the words. In the real world the book sagged heavy in his pack and slowed him down. But if he had it in his Grove, perhaps, he wouldn’t need to carry it. Thought became action, and in the real world his body tossed it in the flames, and the fire crackled as ash floated slowly into the air.

You could have sold, or traded it. It was very valuable.

He knew his mother would have chastised him for the waste. Burning a holy book no doubt offended both gods and men and if caught meant instant punishment. But then, his mother was dead.

Everything has its time, and place, he thought. The fake book’s place is near your garden, Mother. The real book’s place is in flames.

He felt the warm, soft fur of the bear-skin beneath him, and realized it must have been his father that hunted and skinned the beast. A cave appeared instantly in his Grove. He imagined the beast sleeping peacefully inside, oblivious to the wind and the cold as it waited out the winter. The dead can join me in my Grove, he decided, feeling the pelt with his hands, since Noss is now my master.

He saw it lying there pierced and bloody from Brand’s spear, and wondered if it had taken more men, and exactly how it was done.

How I should like to sleep in that cave, like the bear, nestled against its side in the dark, surrounded by rock. The fire popped and his body closed its eyes. It was the last thing he remembered.

6

Ruka awoke to a dead fire, and a sliver of light. He remembered his purpose—the first thing to do, even before a morning piss, then he looked up and decided the mountains were closer than he’d thought, guessing the journey should take only a few more days.

He had plenty of supplies. Only time ran out, and as long as Kunla didn’t find him, he felt sure he’d find the valley.

Even in the day, even as he walked, he discovered he could work on his house in his Grove. The toil removed all sense of boredom from his traveling, though the distraction could be risky if the ground grew rugged. He’d imagined saws, hammers, and scrapers, cutting down trees, separating them into pieces, and then making lumber—all this before lunch.

Grove animals appeared now, too. He wiped fake sweat from his brow and noticed birds with bright feathers in the trees. Brown-furred squirrels scampered along branches, and Ruka smiled at them, happy to share, glad for company besides the wind. I’ll build some bird houses, he thought, perhaps near the house by the bedroom windows. Beyla would like that.

In the world without weakness night came again and went as he walked, the evening suddenly warm enough not to need a fire. He worked pleasantly in his mind until his feet found Bray’s river—the river that never froze, or so said the book, though Ruka was doubtful. Tears of the goddess of life, they call it. He just hoped he wasn’t lost.

The plains came abruptly to an end, and beyond Ruka found hills and trees that held great mounds of snow, and the mountains rose until they blocked all sight. He followed what he hoped was Bray’s river most of the day and found himself gawking at the tiny trees on the mountainsides, the great pools of water at their bases, and the many calls and clicks of the life around them.

Ruka hadn’t been more than a few miles from home, except as an infant, and he’d never seen mountains except on the horizon. He camped by the river near a patch of spruce trees, though these were greener and taller than the ones he remembered, and they were flanked by taller pine, and smaller, skinnier versions with brown leaves. He didn’t recognize all the night-creature’s noises, but for the first time since Hulbron he had real shelter, and felt relatively safe. Protected by the trees and mountains he felt little wind, and somehow the night grew warm enough he even shed a layer of furs. After building a small fire out of desire more than need, he reached down to gently uncover his feet.

The little toes on both were stained a dark purplish, black. They felt cold to the touch, and though they didn’t hurt badly, Ruka had suffered enough to know that pain had a way of catching up. The toes next to them were sensitive and spotted with white. The black ones leaked a clear fluid, and the skin flaked off. He expected them not to recover. The ruined flesh would fall away, or it would putrify and he would need to take a knife to his toes to survive. No matter, they’re just toes. He eased them back into his wool socks, covering them with his leather boots, and turned his mind to things he could control.

Despite the view around him, he spent most of that evening working on his home. He finally started the frame and would have liked to make some kind of cellar, but didn’t know how, so he’d practiced with open ground near-by, digging square-edged pits and covering them with planks. Outside, in the place he would soon have eight toes, he imagined he would need some kind of venting for warm-air in a cellar, but perhaps not in his Grove. Doesn’t matter, he decided, plenty of time to practice.

Never mind your damn cellar, he heard his mother say, focus on the matters at hand.

If she were alive she’d be right, as usual. Ruka read a little from the book while his body drank and ate dutifully, laying down to sleep by the fire. Working both in the real world and the pretend already grew a little easier, and there was a section on Nanot and her prophet Galdra in the book he’d hoped to mine for help at the circle.

But he couldn’t find many laws, really, and even the ones he did were vague. ‘Do not kill without cause,’ the book said, then gave a list of causes that read to Ruka like a bad joke. ‘Insult,’ was listed, as was ‘betrayal’. And after there were conflicting ‘interpretations’ by prominent lawspeakers for centuries, most of which seemed almost purposefully unclear, and all the ‘official’ punishments Ruka knew weren’t even in the damned book.

Sleep finally came with him feeling like a stupid little boy. Whatever it was that would guide the circle, condemn or free him, was not in the book of laws, or he just didn’t understand it. And either way, he felt fear.

* * *

Anxiety wrapped him like a second blanket with the sun. He remembered his purpose, but not his dreams, and broke camp in a hurry, making a frantic pace through the hills, somehow fearing that his time ran its course.

Knowing about his toes made them hurt more, but he pushed that feeling away as he tried to push down fear and sadness and guilt. He did not work in his Grove, focusing only on the ground and the mountains, noting every landmark tree or rock, until he stopped and stared at a giant amongst lesser brethren.

Turgen Sar. The Mountain Of All Things.

Its peak reached beyond the clouds, flanks rolling out over the skyline, its kin mere bumps and hangers-on. Alverel was close now, Ruka knew. He need only follow Bray’s river until it dipped down to a place of green grass and marshy life, filled with hundreds of men and animals and all the things Southerners couldn’t fathom and so hardly even believed in.

He first saw men fishing by the river, then groups of travelers stretched out North along the banks into the valley beyond. He crested a rise and saw the small, supposedly temporary town with round wooden houses much like in Hulbron. There was a huge gathering hall with a green, turf roof, and another building just as large surrounded by merchant caravans and their carts and animals. Ruka could smell the sourness of distillery, meat charring on open flames, and the sweet but foul stench of waste and rot.

He felt stared at and surrounded, but amongst so many people Ruka’s fear of Kunla’s wrath shrunk. Surely she would not try and kill me surrounded by witnesses? And so close to the foundation of law itself?

Still, he kept his hood up. He’d had no time to grieve for his mother, but he felt her loss now more than ever. Who should he speak to, and how should he act? What were the rules? And who would guide him through them? For now he just kept moving, hoping the law-circle would be obvious, and that others would eventually explain.

Just as his first time in Hulbron he couldn’t help but stare at the people and animals. He hadn’t seen so many things living together in his whole life.

On the outskirts a herd of goats bleated towards the river, herded by scraggly-looking brothers of twelve or thirteen. The boys had brown hair, not black, and a plumpness to their limbs that reminded Ruka of Chief Caro and his retainers. Further he found more boys tending wolf-dogs in kennels. The beasts had fuzzy black and white fur still thick from winter, and most were tied and waiting patiently, others rolling around biting at each other in play. Horses stood in lines of wooden stalls, but these weren’t wild and shaggy like the herds that roamed the steppe. Their backs looked more curved, their almost-hairless bodies half again the size of their unkept brethren. Only women could own horses like these, such was the cost, though typically their men were the ones who rode them.

Ruka’s heart beat faster when he saw boulder-size stones placed in rings. He saw rows and rows of wooden benches facing the middle of a rough circle, and most held older men and women in clean, fine cloth. An old woman, perhaps fifty, stood in the center speaking and gesturing with her hands, and at least ten armed men stood near the stones. Ruka clutched the hood of his cloak and closed his eyes. Beyla is gone, he told himself, there is nothing left to fear now except failing her again.

It wasn’t the right thing, perhaps, as he felt the well of grief pooling behind the wall he’d built to hold it. But there would be time later for tears.

He got closer, hoping to listen and learn at least something about the rituals of law before he had to face them. He kept his hood up and his eyes down.

The old woman’s voice was raspy, but strong.

“…has provided more than enough evidence to support her claims. There is motive, witnesses, a weapon, and a wound. She is a sister of Galdra in good standing, a high priestess, and a woman of unblemished reputation. Is there anyone here to speak for the accused?”

People in the crowd seemed bored. They leaned against pillars and picked their teeth or stared at the sky, and Ruka looked to see who might be coming to speak, but saw no movement. A few people waited near the central stone, a few stood near the front, and a group of armed men milled about the clearing, but none of them moved. Then Ruka saw Kunla.

I have just barely made it in time.

His heart beat wildly and he clenched a fist to re-gain control. She stood in front, furs sticking out from beneath a plain traveler’s cloak, several men around her as if bodyguards. The speaker gestured towards her.

“If there is no one,” said the old woman, who must have been the lawspeaker, “I have no choice but to find in favor…”

Ruka’s legs seemed to move on their own. He pushed past the valley-folk and closer to the central, raised clearing, heart pounding all the way to his throat. He prayed his voice did not betray his fear.

“I am here to speak.” His words cracked and he flushed with shame, pulling down his hood and shoving to the edge of the crowd. He watched Kunla’s eyes search and find him, widen in panic, then dart side to side. She is looking for Beyla. She is not afraid of me without a knife between her thighs. Not yet. He moved closer.

“Then come to the stone,” said the lawspeaker, “tell our Goddess your name and deeds, and make your case before the judges.”

Deeds? What deeds? Ruka wracked his brain for anything at all to say, thinking perhaps he could tell his mother’s story and claim some credit just for being her son. Should I speak of Brand? Is it noteworthy I survived in a haunted woods for so long?

He ran straight into the chest of one of the armed guards.

He’d bit his lip and now touched it with a hand and felt blood. Then he backed away, shoulder and face hurting from the man’s armor. He mumbled an apology and tried to step around. The man moved with him.

Ruka looked up and saw hard, bony cheeks and pock-marks, a scar from ear to nose. The man’s torso gleamed with clean, chain links, and his hand rested on the pommel of a sword. Other men much like him stepped in line with the first, shoulder to shoulder as they formed a line of iron.

“What’s the delay? Come here, boy.”

Ruka’s mouth gaped and went dry. He didn’t understand, but the danger seemed clear enough. “These men are stopping me, Lawspeaker.”

The old woman’s eyes narrowed as she looked. “That is not my concern. Ruka, son of Beyla, stands accused of attempted murder of a High Priestess of Galdra. You will come to the center of this circle, you will introduce yourself to the Goddess, and you will present your case. Otherwise Ruka will be considered absent, and will be made an outlaw until he arrives at this holy place. Is that clear?”

Only Ruka, he realized, not Ruka and Beyla, but banished the thought just as quick. Surely this was a joke, or madness. He rushed forward and tried to force his way through. The men easily pushed him back. He darted to the side to somehow go around, and some half-stepped and unsheathed their swords. They shook their heads at him.

“They won’t let me through!” He shouted, his voice sounding desperate and pathetic, even to him. He looked around at the bystanders and all seemed to ignore him and look away. Some gazed up at the clouds, others at the grass, and others wandered from the circle. He felt tears forming. I’m just a child, he thought, I’m a helpless stupid child.

The lawspeaker sneered. “What you can or cannot do is between you and the gods, son of Imler. If there are men treating you unfairly, deal with them, or feel free to come here and accuse them.”

He couldn’t seem to stop himself from trembling. “I accuse them from here!”

She shook her head as if Ruka were the stupidest, rudest boy she’d ever seen. “You will stand in the center of the circle, or Nanot cannot hear you. I give you these next few moments to present yourself, or this gathering will proceed.”

Ruka searched the faces of the men and women sitting on benches. These too would not meet his eyes. They stared off at the distance, or down at the ground, as if the grass had become interesting, and he knew then he was utterly alone.

The book said anyone could be a speaker—anyone could prosecute another for a crime they witnessed on anyone’s behalf. Every single person watching could walk to the circle and accuse the men before Ruka of interfering with the law, as was clear to anyone with eyes. But none moved.

“Very well,” said the Lawspeaker. “Then I hereby consider Ruka, son of Beyla, absent from his case. No official judgment will be passed until he, or a representative arrives. But until such time, he is considered an outlaw in the Ascom. His property is forfeit. His person is unwelcome at hearth and home.” She seemed to pause before she finished, and Ruka knew what was coming. “No woman or man may be accused of crimes against him.”

Ruka howled, or perhaps gasped, but he hadn’t meant to, or perhaps he’d meant to laugh in contempt. He saw Kunla’s eyes and knew exactly what she intended.

“They will kill me, Speaker. Right here, right now. These men will kill me before your lawstone. An unarmed boy, with nothing.” He sunk to his knees, and the tears fell. His mother lay dead in a field, and he’d cut her throat for nothing. He could have stayed and kept her warm, could have covered her somehow and told her he loved her and held her hand till the end. But here he was, surrounded by strangers, useless. He wondered if the Lawspeaker had been bribed, or if this was just how it worked.

In his mind’s eye he saw the warriors coming forward to kill him. Perhaps they’d let a single man do the deed right here—execute him on his knees with a single sword stroke. Or perhaps they’d drag him away and torture him first until Kunla was satisfied.

For a moment he searched and found no reason to run. As an outlaw he would surely die alone in the wild, or else be hunted and killed for sport or bounty or on Kunla’s orders. He would learn nothing, avenge nothing, and suffer until his death. I’ve failed you, Beyla, you tried to tell me but I wouldn’t listen. I’ve failed already.

His final words seemed utterly ignored. The lawspeaker called out the names of her next trial, the men stood still, and ‘justice’ carried on.

Stop whining and get up. You put this weakness in its place, and you remember what I taught you.

Ruka shivered and wiped his cheeks, then nearly laughed, thinking it good Beyla couldn’t see him now.

You promised me, she’d remind him. You promised until the day you died, and you’re not dead. So get up.

He rose to his feet. He touched a hand to the pocket of his coat that held Beyla’s hair, and knew his purpose transcended suffering and failure. He could still take vengeance as an outlaw. Even if it took years and all his toes and fingers he could still survive and learn the world of men, then burn it to the ground.

“Lawspeaker!”

This time his voice held strong, and everyone in earshot turned to look. “Remember my face.” He tried his best to snarl like the demon they all thought he was. “Tell your blind fool of a god my name. Tell her Ruka is coming.”

The old woman looked at him, right into his eyes. She smiled. Ruka saw Kunla turn and move closer, genuine pleasure stretched across her face. The men advanced with swords drawn.

Ruka turned and ran. He smashed at bystanders with his fists and shoulders and screamed at them as he fled. He burst out of the crowd and the stones, past the trading post and merchant-stalls selling all the things he never had. He ran all the way to the stables without once looking back, not knowing how to ride, but deciding a horse his only chance to escape.

An older boy swept loose hay inside and talked to the animals. As Ruka stomped in panting, the boy held the wood like a weapon and stared with weary eyes. He will slow me down, Ruka thought, he will try and stop me and maybe succeed, and I will fail. There is no time.

“What do you…”

Ruka picked a shoeing hammer off the entrance table and smashed the boy in the face. Bone crunched like wood splitting from an axe, mixed with a kind of wet slop as blood sprayed the stall behind him.

He’s dead, Ruka thought, surprised at the strength of the blow, don’t check him, don’t look at him.

He noticed one horse had been half-readied for travel, and flung himself at its side, hauling his leg over without grace. The horse’s nostrils flared, eyes widening in panic as it stamped and whined.

But he knew by the size this was a riding horse, not a war horse, which meant it would be less aggressive and less intelligent. This animal had only a single reaction to any problem. It ran.

The horse threw its head as it burst from the stable, carrying a terrified Ruka clutched to its back. It stomped and found its stride, flying out of the pasture-lands and out of the make-shift town and beyond the reach of the dozen puffing guards who almost caught Ruka at the door, then out of the valley as swift as an arrow.

For the murder, he would certainly be executed—at least if he was caught. But then he was already an outlaw, and they would never let him speak, no matter what they said. The corrupt priestesses gave only the justice they chose.

His mother was dead. His father was dead. He had nothing left to lose. He had only vengeance and dark deed and a place in some hell that probably didn’t exist, or oblivion.

He sharpened some of the lumber into spears and swords in his Grove, letting his body hold itself in the saddle, head low to avoid the cool wind. Mother was right, the cellar can wait, he decided. He’d need all his time and energy for practice, for revenge. He must survive and become a warrior, a hunter. A monster from the book. His body and senses would keep him alive, and his mind would get to work.

The panicked beast beneath him ran for what felt like days, though the sun had hardly moved. He managed eventually to slow the horse and rose to a sit, staring out at unfamiliar ground as he thought of the boy he’d killed. The world is cruel, he thought, banishing all trace of guilt, Mother said so.

He had no room for pity or shame where fate took him. The boy would have slowed me down, and I would be dead.

In the real world only that truth existed, nothing more, but in his Grove Ruka built the boy a grave.

He buried some tree-bark, and perhaps later would leave some flowers when his mother’s garden finished growing. He smoothed the dirt with his hands and patted it down, then left a stake etched with the name ‘Stable-boy in Alverel’ in runes. Then he looked up.

Before him stood a boy by the fresh, black soil, his face ruined, jaw too mangled to speak. He stood tall, at least Ruka’s height, eyes curious and clear as day, body garbed in the same dirty clothes as the boy he’d killed.

Did I mean to create him?

He didn’t think so.

Do I truly want such reminders? And won’t he hate me now, even in this place?

“I’m sorry,” he said, touching his own jaw. The boy shrugged.

“But…since you’re dead now, and here, well…I could use a sparring partner.”

The boy said nothing. He reached down and lifted a wooden stick, squinting his eyes in concentration as he took a wide stance, holding the sword like a stable-broom.

It might be nice to have company, Ruka thought, taking a similar stance, though he thought perhaps he could improve it.

Destroying the world will be hard, and every bit helps.

He rolled his neck as he prepared to charge in his mind, thinking what would have happened if he’d ducked the hammer, or speared me with the broom.

Thought became action and twice the boy defended himself and fended Ruka’s attacks.

“You could have lived,” he said, and the boy nodded and looked away, as if ashamed.

“Don’t worry, we’ll learn together.” Ruka adjusted his stance, putting his feet closer together, one forward and one behind, so he could brace his weight but still move in any direction. The boy readied again, hands coiled around the stick. And though his hanging jaw made it hard to tell, Ruka thought, at least by his eyes, he tried to smile.

7

Breakfast smelled glorious. It felt almost as if the last week hadn’t happened, until Kale tried to rise from his bed and felt the ache stretching from feet to shoulders. A quick glance around the room told him the maid already cleaned everything except the now-filthy sheets. He also found a proper, courtly set of men’s clothes hung near the washing room. Just looking at them gurgled his stomach.

He thought it best to plan for the worst, washed himself, then put the clothes on before trudging down the stone steps from his bedroom to the current royal wing’s informal dining room. His gut fluttered again as he wondered who all would be there.

“Little fish.” His oldest brother ambushed him from behind with a hearty slap.

Ow. But, thank all kind spirits.

“Looking sharp, little brother—hoping to see a certain someone, now that you’re a proper soldier?”

Kale tolerated the over-the-top winking and jabbing and shoulder-shaking, but he made a face. “The servants dress me, just as they dress you. And I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The crown-prince grinned his stupid, endearing grin. “No? Well, let’s see if I remember who’s joining us for breakfast today. There’s me. Oh, and now there’s you. Ahh…and Manu, yes, he’s home from that shithole swamp-land the Molbog. Not Rani, though, he’s still ‘inspecting fisheries.’ And mother…”

“Which?”

“My mother.” Tane rolled his eyes. “I don’t call Cyntha mother anymore. Oh, and Aunt Kikay.”

“Shit.”

Kale knew he should have expected as much, but somehow he’d dared to hope…

“Scared of a plumpish, middle-aged woman, Brother?”

“Yes. And so are you.”

“Lies. I’m her favorite. I have her wrapped around my little finger.” He displayed it, for effect.

“Is that so?” A feminine voice rose from the bottom of the stairs. Aunt Kikay stood in the hallway.

Tane rushed down to meet her, increasingly thick arms up in advance, then wrapped them around her not-particularly-plump waist. He begged for forgiveness in his most dramatic, pitiful voice.

“Intolerable child. I should have had the priests make you a eunuch.” After a delay: “And I am not plump.”

Tane nodded respectfully. “As you say, Aunty.” He looked back at Kale, as if baffled, then his hands groped and tickled at the ‘rounder’ places around Kikay’s waist. “But…then, what, what’s this, Aunty? Is it some new fashion statement? New undergarments, maybe?”

“Demon child! Get your big slave hands off me!” She swat at his head, but Kale could see in her face she struggled not to laugh. Once free, she strode to Kale and threw an arm around him.

“Tell me, favorite nephew, how is life in the service? And why are you here? And look at your poor face!”

She took his chin and turned him this way and that, leading him into one of several dining halls, this one bare of tapestries and perhaps officially called the ‘Silver Guest Hall’, though the names always seemed to change.

The Alakus frequently dined in different rooms at different times and with different servants. Another of father’s paranoid ‘gifts’ to the family.

This morning the hall bustled with extended kin, or rather, father’s distant cousins, and various pieces of their broods. These were largely ignored by Farahi, trotted out in court and kept around perhaps only as a display of familial strength. But Kale’s immediately older brother Manu was here, as Tane promised, though he did no more than smile and give a formal nod. They’d always been friendly but never close—princely life had a way of making family into strangers.

“It’s difficult, but fine,” Kale said in delayed response to his aunt, a bit more tersely than he’d wanted. After he took his seat and saw her face, he knew it was a mistake.

“Wellll.” Kikay’s pitch carried from low to high to low again as she drew out the word. “How deliberately uninformative. Of course you need not discuss manly military matters with a simple woman like me, my prince, but you must do your very best, and do the Alaku name proud.”

Kale rolled his eyes and let out a gust of air. “I got in a fight, I passed the navy test, and I brought a foreigner to the palace. Alright?”

His aunt’s eyes widened, hands thrown in the air as if the sky god himself approached. “Very good! Passed the test! And now with such details.”

Just leave me alone, Kale thought, though he knew it wasn’t likely. “Now you sound like father.”

She twitched as if wounded. “Oh, dear gods, cruel boy. I sound much livelier, I should hope.”

Kale did his best not to look ‘broody’, which Kikay often accused him of, and remembering Thetma’s advice spooned in mouthfuls of a multi-grained, hot porridge. It scalded his mouth and tasted like nothing, but nothing was better than navy food.

“Good idea, you’ll need your strength.” His Aunt’s eyes seemed to bore into his skull and root around. “You’ll be joining us in court today.”

Tane’s fist slammed the table. “Ha! Finally! Now you too can tolerate the whining of old men and the gawking of teenage girls, little brother.”

Kale sighed and tried not to think about that. He didn’t understand how his father knew he was even home yet. It seemed like the kind of detail that wouldn’t be worthy of the king’s attention so early in the morning—but he found he wasn’t surprised. “And what shall my vital role be in court today, Aunty?”

Her tone lost most of its humor. “You will listen. You will respond if your father speaks to you. He may ask you questions about this foreigner, Amit of Naran.”

Kale cleared his throat and sat up. “I don’t really know anything.”

“Then you’ll say that.”

“Shouldn’t I be returning to my barracks?”

“I think the king’s navy will excuse you for a day, if the king asks nicely.”

Kale swirled his spoon in his porridge. “Fine.”

His aunt’s head cocked, as if to say ‘it wasn’t a question’. “Oh, and nephew, since this is your first time at court, you will be presented. Do try not to foul it up.”

I’ll do my best, he thought, but remembering the drill seargent grinding his foot into the sand for speaking, decided to hold his tongue.

* * *

Farahi’s court assembled once a month in the Hall of the Enlightened—the wealthy and influential of Sri Kon sailing for leagues in every direction to gossip and compare fashion. Or at least that’s how Tane described it. Ostensibly they came to discuss the running of state, though how such a thing could be done with so many attendees—often cousins and other lesser family members sent to be a ‘presence’—Kale did not know. And he was vaguely aware that the king held smaller, weekly meetings with his chief advisers, which seemed a lot more likely to be productive. But of course he was not invited to these.

Over the years the monthly meetings became more and more of a show except for a few blocks of time reserved for actual business. There were royal dancers, singers, poets, and jugglers, not to mention the butlers, cooks, pages, and so forth. Food and drink would be served all day, and attendance often in the hundreds. Mostly these attendees were the Orang Kaya of Sri Kon—wealthy land owners, and their families. But there were royal guests from other Isles and cities throughout Pyu. Sometimes, more rarely, representatives from neighboring kingdoms arrived. The most important of these was King Kapule, called ‘the Farmer King’ by the islanders, but he never came—Lani was seen more or less as his permanent representative.

Today seemed to be a reasonably small turn-out. Kale found his seat, marked in a position on the right side of the king.

Seating mattered, as did clothing, and jewelry. Anyone not a foreigner or of royal birth wore a silver or gold amulet depicting their status. These amulets alone cost several times the value of a commoner’s possessions, and so the king’s soldiers came out in force on such days, protecting every entrance, hallway, and room. Well, more than usual.

Kale had never attended but he’d been taught about court for years. He didn’t think being ‘presented’ would be too terrible, though his palms already sweat enough that wiping on his chair didn’t seem to help. He would have to stand and address the room, then walk down to the dais, introduce himself, and say how pleased he was to be here. He’d be inspected and smile politely and wave, and then it would be over. I just hope my voice doesn’t crack.

Now that he was sitting his eyes moved about the room, and soon all he could see was flesh. His eyes found women everywhere. Girls, more accurately. The fairer sex must have made up three-quarters of the court, their clothing so elaborate, some so provocative, that he struggled to keep his mouth closed. He’d never seen so many half-breasts, leg-slits, bare-backs and translucent dresses in his life, especially on girls that couldn’t possibly yet be in their twenties, and some perhaps not in their teens.

Once he’d noticed them he couldn’t stop looking, and he noticed them noticing him. Some glanced away shyly, others just smiled, as if in invitation. He shifted uncomfortably and picked at a plate of fruit to occupy himself, hoping no one noticed the heat that broiled under his skin.

Someone thumped his arm, and Tane slumped into the seat beside. His chair was different from the rest—polished mango wood lined with a silver trim to mark the Alaku heir.

“Distracted, little fish? Watch out for the hooks.” Tane winked and seemed especially pleased with himself. “As the heir it is my duty to attend these regularly, Brother. And since Father has yet seen fit to find me even a single bride, the eligible young daughters of Pyu always make time to attend as well.” He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows. “Looking their finest, of course.”

Kale smiled at that, but he had a bad feeling. Tane’s charm was often predatory.

“But not today, little brother. Today you and your pretty, bruised face will shield me. Like the good marine I’m sure you’re becoming, you will sail out into those dangerous waters for your prince. And you will bloody smile, and be pleasant, and so very eligible, and these silly little girls will forget all about me for a day. Or at least this morning.”

Kale opened his mouth to protest, but he saw Tane’s eyes widening at the hint of it. “Yes, Brother,” he said.

“Bloody well right, ‘yes, Brother’. And unlike me, you can maybe actually pick one! You can blink those long, dark lashes at Father and say ‘oh, Father, she’s just so very special, can I have her, please?’ And he might say yes, unimportant as you are. So stop looking like you’re attending your own funeral, and cheer the hell up. Now smile.”

Kale obliged, with fake enthusiasm. What he thought was ‘Actually, father never looks me in the eyes’, but he swallowed that down and did his best to look princely, straightening his posture and glancing about the room aloof and amused like Tane.

Then Lani swished through the royal doors, and Kale’s careful detachment shattered. He could hardly describe her clothing. Green silk whisked everywhere in layers, except for where her skin showed as she moved—though she revealed less then some. She seemed to dance instead of walk, smiling and laughing, looking confident and happy and years older than Kale though they were roughly the same age. He felt suddenly too young and unprepared and not good enough, and his stomach seemed to float up to his throat and linger.

She saw him and smiled, politely slipping past Alaku cousins and other honored guests, every step closer seeming to make Kale’s hands and armpits sweat more. He tried to sit straight and aloof. He felt her hand on his shoulder as she brushed by, a quick ‘welcome to court’ whispered over his head. She found her seat a bit further in the back as her smell washed over him. Sweet. Like vanilla. He closed his eyes and breathed.

When he opened them again he saw Tane wearing a smug, if judgmental look. Kale blushed and ate more fruit.

And the priests saved him. Chimes and chanting rung out at the dais as incense lit. Every possible god with the potential to ruin the day got a candle. Words were said to them, some to appease, some hoping to trick. When that was over they placed a bronze statue—the head of the first Alhuna—in the center of a golden circle, and chanted for a time.

Loa, they said at last. They asked all attendees if they rejected violence. They did. If they rejected lies. They did. If they embraced the central path that connected all things. They did. If they believed that only the race of man could protect the world from destruction. They did.

“Then with courage, and humility. Let us seek the wisdom of the Enlightened.”

“Alhun,” spoke the court, as they rose.

The king’s first wife, and Aunt Kikay, entered the room and took their places of honor near the throne.

King Farahi Alaku entered the court from behind the dais. He came swathed in blue silk, the cloak of the traveler on his shoulders—a relic supposed to be the ancient king’s, though Kale knew that was impossible. His hood covered his eyes, jaw and lips set hard as he bowed low to the statue of the Alhuna—the only thing in Pyu King Farahi bowed to—then he pulled back the hood and took his seat in a modest wooden throne adorned only by a small red cushion. The court sat with him.

In Kale’s grandfather’s time, it was said that the court rituals took so long the sun would cross the sky, but Farahi was not a man to suffer pomp and ceremony save for the barest essentials. And not even priests argued much with King Farahi.

They took their places quietly to the side, chimes jangling, incense smoking, and the King’s Speaker rose to the dais. This, too, was a position implemented by Kale’s father. To ‘blather on about bureaucratic nonsense’ in his stead.

“Loa, fellow travelers. Brothers and sisters. Honored guests. The king welcomes you.”

The crowd murmured their greeting, and then blather on he did. First about the auspiciousness of the day, the beauty and generosity of the attendees, then the great pleasure of the royal family to host them. He explained the itinerary, expressing his sorrow that they had so little time, which seemed ridiculous considering this was an all-day affair.

It became so immediately boring that Kale drifted off into his own thoughts, staring dumbly at a wall, when suddenly he heard, in that same full, baritone voice of the speaker:

“Now it is my great pleasure to formally introduce to the court, Ratama Kale Alaku, fourth son of the king!”

The blood sucked from his limbs during the applause, and he stood numbly. Words, Kale, there’s words to say. “Thank you, Speaker. It is, the pleasure is mine.” Wrong. And way too quiet. And forgot to bow.

He made his way down to the front, doing his very best to walk like a prince, and more importantly not to trip. The distant cousins he hardly knew watched him like birds of prey—he was pretty sure the whole damn room watched him—and he tried not to wither with the attention.

At the bottom, successfully unembarrassed, he walked carefully to the foot of the dais and took a knee, his eyes lowered to the ground. Here the king was supposed to ask a question or two, he realized, generally some banality about a person’s family. But the Speaker asked instead.

“I am told you’ve recently passed the Navy test. Do you hope to one day serve the king as an admiral?”

Kale blinked and searched for words and failed, heat rising to his face. So this is why I’m in the military—this, right now, this exact moment.

His father wasn’t trying to salvage a disappointing son. It wasn’t that he cared or even disliked Kale or wanted him away. He did it to avoid one tiny moment of embarrassment. Something to ask in court besides ‘Do you ever plan on amounting to anything? You don’t seem to have any talents or accomplishments.’

Now Kale was supposed to say ‘Oh yes, it is my lifelong dream to be of some use to my great and noble father. I live only to serve him, and Pyu.’

He wasn’t sure what he’d say till the words came out. He knew only it wasn’t that.

“I think my father has enough admirals, Speaker. I intend to be a philosopher.”

With his eyes on the ground, he couldn’t see the man’s face. He imagined something between confusion and horror, perhaps a glance back to get some direction from the king.

“How interesting!” The voice seemed calm, even patient. “And what is that?”

What was it Amit said?

“Simple, Speaker. If you ask a priest ‘why did my family die of disease?’, he will say, ‘the Gods were angry’. But if you ask a philosopher, he will say, ‘I have no idea’.

The room silenced, and Kale was tired of kneeling so he stood up. He was supposed to wait for the Speaker to instruct him to rise and face the court, but the man seemed at a loss. The king deigned to speak with his own voice.

“Thank you, Prince Ratama. Please turn and face the court for recognition, and take your seat.”

Kale felt the moment stretch, but did as his father bade. The applause came somewhat muted. Then he walked back to his seat avoiding eyes, no longer much caring if people were watching or if he tripped. When he sat and they called the next youth to present himself before the king and court, Kale finally breathed.

Tane leaned over, his voice annoyed. “Well that was interesting. But if you truly couldn’t stand to distract young girls for me, you could have just said so.”

Kale said nothing. I love you, Brother, but you’re the heir. You can’t possibly understand. Farahi took him to secret meetings; he fussed over his lessons and tutors and free-time, and every victory or failure deemed a night of celebration or discussion. He even looked him in the eyes.

Kale wasn’t sure if he was pleased, ashamed, angry, or what. He hadn’t meant to annoy Tane and wanted to say so, he really hadn’t meant to do anything at all. The thought that Lani watched him then and maybe now made it worse, feeling her judgment or disappointment like a weight around his neck. He fought the urge to look back at her.

* * *

The Court summoned Amit of Naran before the king sometime later, but not before half a dozen other young men and women were introduced with considerably less drama than Kale. You’re welcome, he thought, trying to sit straight and act like everything was normal.

Then came the official reading of Royal Decisions made since last session. No surprises. No fanfare. Mild applause.

Then they broke for lunch. Fish, served a hundred different ways, seemingly imagined for look, rather than taste, and Kale knew he was supposed to mingle but sat firmly in his seat. Tane didn’t trouble him, standing and wearing his princely face while he strode through the cluster assembled on the floor—after shooting Kale a squinty-eyed, rather childish look. He flirted with the girls, he bowed to their mothers. The dutiful son.

Tane seemed made to be a prince. He had the sort of blunt, square, symmetrical good looks that intimidated other men, just like father. He obeyed all orders without reserve, and relayed Farahi’s commands without pride, or shame. He had impressed his tutors, breezed through officer school, charming the other sons of nobility into friends at every turn. If he had ever feared anything in his entire life, Kale didn’t know it. And if all that weren’t enough—he commanded the now-famous Alaku restraint. The handsome crown prince could surely find himself in the bed of most any young girl he pleased, making bastards on every isle in Pyu, but he didn’t.

Kale still smiled as he watched him. The truth was he felt lucky to be Tane’s little brother, lucky just to share in his adventures and one day serve him and live under his protection, and if it wasn’t for the constant comparing and competition of nobility he’d no doubt worship his older brother like only a younger sibling could. Next to his admiration, his respect, whatever else he felt seemed very small.

Even now Tane would be out controlling the damage of Kale’s introduction and speaking well of him. He’d be smoothing things over and saying what a fierce, independent lad his brother was, and what a fine man he would become. Maybe he even believes it. I just wish I did.

Lunch finally ended in a twirling fire-dance, drums pounding while painted, near-naked jugglers threw hoops and torches and leapt like monkeys. The crowd clapped politely as they did all things in Farahi’s court politely, and Kale saw Amit waiting near the guest entrance. The Speaker quieted the room as the entertainers hurried away, then announced him as “Master Amit Asan, envoy of the Emperor of Naran, here to discuss matters of state with the king.”

The court descended into whispers. Amit wore precisely the same, heavy, robe-like apparel Kale had found him in, though thankfully it appeared to be washed. He moved carefully through the room, hands and cuffs linked much like a monk, his head bowed. He must be boiling alive, Kale thought, sweating himself in the stiff courtly fabric. The air sweltered and hung, especially for the dry season, and all the bodies in the court made things worse. Royal fanners could only do so much.

Amit bowed and kneeled correctly and with surprising grace. “Loa, Great king Alaku. I thank you for the honor of my presence today.”

His accent is almost entirely gone.

The king spoke for himself. “The honor is mine, Master Asan. Please, continue.”

The old man bowed his head lower than any islander would. “I have come today on behalf of Emperor Yiren, son of Ru, Almighty God, to express his interest in your people’s prosperity, and to establish a foundation of trust between you.”

Farahi’s face and eyes didn’t so much as twitch. “His interest is well-received, and appreciated. You may tell your emperor that Sri Kon and the people of Pyu look forward to our mutual interests.”

“Thank you, Great King, the emperor will be glad to hear it.” Amit raised his head so he could lower it again. “I am further instructed to provide you with two gifts, if it pleases you. But, with regret, I must inform you that the first of these gifts has been taken by the men who brought me to your beautiful city.”

The king’s eyes squinted. “What men, Master Asan?”

The foreigner shrugged and shook his head. “Forgive my ignorance. They said only they were merchants from Nong Ming Tong. I know little else.”

Coastal peoples all along the continent called the sea above Sri Kon ‘The North Alaku’, and had for a century, though most islanders just called it ‘The King’s’. In any case, Farahi and his forebears took piracy on it rather personally.

“What sort of ship did they sail?” Kale’s father shifted in his seat, his marble face now a sneer. “How long ago did they leave? And in which direction?”

Amit licked his lips. “I know little of ships, Great King. It was small, with a single hull, and a mast with one large sail and ten crew. This was half a day ago now. They sailed North, hoping to return to the coast we sailed from, I believe. They spoke a sailor’s brogue common to the Tong.”

You might know little of ships, Kale thought, but you’re a shrewd old ‘scholar’ to be sure.

Farahi nodded—a gesture for him close to satisfaction. “My son,” he raised his voice to fill the hall, and he meant Tane, “is this enough information to retrieve Master Asan’s property?”

The crown prince’s voice rang clear and strong. “Yes, my king. I’ll go at once.”

Considering the delay Kale felt the gesture hollow, but his face reddened. On the beach he hadn’t even thought to wake the navy and chase down the man’s property. I was only a few hundred paces away from a thousand marines!

“Take whatever you need. Remind these criminals of the laws of the sea.”

Tane rose, taking the longer route through the center of court to exit out the main hall. The few military men pounded their cups or fists on tables or chairs. The others clapped timidly.

All the excitement had the court murmuring and shifting about, but the king’s face had returned to marble. “You mentioned a second gift, Master Asan?”

Amit bowed his head even lower. “Yes, Great King. I am the second gift. Emperor Yiren commands that I shall serve as your majesty’s slave, in whatever capacity you wish, for as long as you wish. He compels me to inform you that I was once his tutor and a scholar of some renown, that I speak every language of trade from the Samna mountains to the edges of your islands, and that I have considerable knowledge of the history and geography of the world. He wishes to relay also, on a more personal note, that he has fond feelings for me, and that he hopes this gesture will display his seriousness and warm regard for the people of Pyu.”

The court started murmuring again, and the king took a moment to consider, but his face gave nothing away.

“I must tell you, the position of slave is not an honorable one in these islands.”

Amit bowed even lower, his head touching the ground. “Honor is nothing to the servant, duty is everything.”

Farahi paused, but nodded. “Then I accept the Emperor’s gift, but you are released from slavery. I invite you, as a free’d man of the Isles, to serve as a tutor to my sons, and translator to the court. There would be an income,”—here the king waved a hand, as if to say ‘and some lesser man will work out the details’— “and you would live in the palace. Do you accept?”

Amit’s head raised so that he might drop it again. “Thank you, my King, I accept gratefully.”

Polite applause rippled throughout the hall, and Amit stood, his head still lowered.

“Welcome, Royal Tutor, to the court of Sri Kon. I understand it has been something of a long night—please, take your leave and find some rest. Your duties will begin tomorrow.”

Bowing a final time, Amit turned and left the court, and Kale reddened again. He liked the strange old diplomat and his mischievous eyes, but he’d lied to him. He failed first to announce who he really was, then failed to truly help him as he could, and now he’d have to face him.

The Speaker resumed his role, reminding everyone of the tedious itinerary, and soon sending Kale’s mind drifting away again for protection.

While the man droned Kale watched wives whisper in the ears of husbands, and husbands complain out loud when they got the chance. He listened to noblemen whine about gangs and pirates, or about their neighbors failing to pay their proper share of insuring trade; they said there was too much tax for the dry, unfortunate harvests of their few rice farmers; the price of Bekthano lumber had become outrageous; and on and on it went.

The Speaker listened to all politely, and the Court Recorder wrote it all down on a single roll of parchment. Anyone with an actual grievance—a law broken by another city, generally—passed the details to the Recorder, knowing that a council meeting and resolution would come much later.

Poets spoke, singers sang, and dancers danced until the sun dropped far enough to blind half the court through windows. And when Kale thought the ordeal finally over, the Speaker took to the dais one last creaking time to announce a social mingling to welcome all new young people to court. This meant wine, and probably dancing—carefully observed by a dozen shrewd old matrons and their servants, of course.

Kale breathed and resigned himself. Tane isn’t here, you must take his place and honor him for once in your life.

He saw his other brothers moving out to mingle with the Orang Kaya and their daughters. I’m doing it for Tane, he told himself, for him, not for father.

He put on his finest, princely smile, took a deep breath, and made his way down to the now-crowded floor, hoping perhaps to get drunk.

* * *

By the interest he generated at once, either his stunt with the speaker wasn’t as bad as he thought, or his brother’s damage control at lunch had gone rather well.

A few girls curtsied as he passed. He smiled and nodded, walking on as if he had somewhere to go. He recognized the occasional face, but he’d met almost none of these people, so he plod on until he saw the tall, wiry, middle-age servant named Eka carrying drinks. The man had smooth, round features and was perhaps Batonian, though Kale realized with some shame he’d never asked. He’d been at the palace since Kale could remember, always smiling and polite with an easy charm, always at hand when Farahi was near-by. Kale made a straight line to him, plucked the largest cup he could find on his tray, and drank deep.

Eka bowed and stayed forward. “I’ll keep well-stocked, my Prince, and be close-by all night.”

Kale cleared his throat to cover his laugh. “You’re a good man,” he said quietly, “no matter what the others say.”

Eka offered a formal, exaggerated bow, expertly balancing the tray before rising back up to his full height, then wandered away with his chin up.

Kale didn’t drink much wine, or really anything, but now he took a healthy draught of his second glass, then nearly choked.

A very feminine voice whispered closely in his ear, and he did his best so keep the liquid moving to his stomach instead of his lungs.

“My mother says good men joke with their servants.”

A quip formed in his mind, but he should have responded before he turned. He saw breasts, first, thinking whatever fabric held them in place and out of view seemed utterly inadequate. A gold amulet rested snugly between them, which seemed not at all an accident. The breast-owner’s hair curled and looped into itself, stuck in place by grease. The smooth, painted skin of her face shaped into a smile.

“Mmm, is that so?”

He’d lost the quip and this was all he could manage as he swallowed the last of the wine, then tried desperately to keep his eyes on her face.

“Yes, and my mother has very good taste in men.”

Her accent was undecipherable, but he figured he’d try.

“Shall I guess? Your father is…a rich merchant from Bekthano.”

She laughed, the sound soft and inviting, then put a hand on the skin of his wrist and leaned in.

“Way off. Try again, my Prince.”

The ‘lean’ all but shoved her cleavage in his face, which he did his best to ignore.

“Hmm. An Orang Kaya? From Subanu?”

“Ohh,” her eyes fluttered, “the’ peacock’ rivers? A very fashionable people. Should I be flattered, Prince Ratama?”

She trailed her hand up his arm and he felt the falseness of her interest like a slap. But by whichever God or spirit you pleased, the way she said his name was sexy. And the word peacock. And fashionable. Keep your eyes on her face.

She bat her lashes, head tilted, putting her body close enough that the sides of their hips touched, as if she conspired with him.

“I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage—I don’t know your name, my lady.”

“Oh. Well, I quite like where I have you. Perhaps we’ll speak later?”

With that she smiled and detached, giving a full, tantalizing view of the fine craftsmanship of her dress, and her hips, which swayed back and forth like a grown woman as she walked away.

Kale failed to break his stare and shook his head, thinking only: Tane, you have the will of a monk.

He polished off his wine with the next gulp and resigned to chase Eka down when he saw Lani. She had her little eyebrows raised, ‘I saw that whole thing’ written clearly on her face, and she stood beside a crowd of girls Kale didn’t know. But to hell with it.

He left his cup on a porcelain stand cut to resemble a fish spraying water, then forced his feet to take him forward. A musician interrupted from the dais.

“Young lords and ladies—the first dance of the evening. Please select a partner. And ladies, my apologies, we know the numbers are uneven—feel free to dance together.”

Some giggled at that, but most girls paired or grouped immediately, obviously knowing the ritual well. Kale felt naked as eyes crawled over his skin, batting and inviting, sometimes challenging, sometimes purposefully avoiding. He tried to ignore them. Well, you were about to bloody do it, so do it.

He swallowed and walked as confidently as he could muster towards Lani.

“Would you like to dance, my lady?”

As a child he’d known every face, every gesture she made and what it meant, but this Lani felt almost a stranger. He tried to suppress his own tension and awkwardness long enough to read her, but wasn’t sure. Is that annoyance? A bit of pleasure? It seemed mostly bad, whatever it was. Of course, she could not refuse.

“I’d be delighted, Prince Ratama.”

‘Prince Ratama’. Not ‘my prince’, because he wasn’t.

She took his sweaty hand and bowed holding one edge of her dress, and he led her towards the dancing-circle.

Pyu ‘couple dances’ involved one singer, some kind of stringed instrument and a drum, together creating sounds and words that spoke of tragic love or fleeting passion. Couples would step carefully about the room, with slow, dramatic movements, and Kale knew at least enough not to embarrass himself.

Lani spoke without looking at him as they waited for the start. “You’re making quite the spectacle of yourself. Didn’t think your title alone would attract female attention?”

Kale blinked and looked at her. “What?”

Her eyes said ‘do you think I’m an idiot?’ “Your little stunt with the speaker? ‘Oh, look at me, I can defy the Sorcerer-King.’ Then you send your brother to sing your praises while you sit there, basking in the attention?”

Kale grasped for a response. The music started. “Do you…” He was forced to bow and lead her across the room. “Do you really think I planned any of that? That I would enjoy being a spectacle?”

“Are you saying you didn’t?”

“Yes!”

“Well, then, you’re a bloody fool.”

He bobbed his head. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you!”

She showed the hint of a smile, but quashed it. “Women are not interested in fools.”

He flicked a hand at the room. “Current results beg to differ.”

“They like you because you’re a prince and you’re handsome.” She flushed.

“You think I’m handsome?”

“They do. The girls.”

“You’re a girl.”

“And is that enough for you? The handsome prince? Everything you are you were born with?”

“You’re angry with me because I was born handsome?”

“No.” She let out a breath and looked him in the eyes. “I’m angry with you, little brother, because you’re lazy. Because you don’t care about anything. Because you have every advantage in the world a man can have, and you think it’s a burden.”

He felt like she’d slapped him, and out of all of it, little brother hurt the most. They finished the dance though it felt like it just began, and he bowed low and tried to look at her eyes, but she wouldn’t. She bowed rather than spoke and tried to break away, but he held her arm.

“There are things I care about. There are people. Thank you for the dance, my lady.” He let her go, and she turned her back and walked away from him and her friends, to where exactly he wasn’t sure, and didn’t look.

Instead he did his duty and danced with other girls. He shook the hands of old men and found the only thing they had to talk about was entering the marines. “Good for you, they’d say, “best thing for a boy your age.” He’d smile and thank them and go on his way, wishing all the while he could curl up in his bed and never face any of them again. He didn’t see Lani and assumed she left, and tried not to care. By the time the dance-circle flickered with only candle and torchlight, and he felt he’d danced with every girl who looked remotely interested, he wandered from the hall and towards his room.

He wiped sweat and exhaustion from his face with both hands, and when he looked again he stopped, noticing Amit on the edge of the kitchens. He was still wearing his robes and carrying a plate of left-over lunch. When he saw Kale he bowed formally.

“Prince Ratama. I’m pleased to see you again.”

Kale felt utterly drained of energy, and he couldn’t stand the man’s neutral tone, his caution. “Amit. I…I didn’t mean to deceive you. I…”

Amit raised a hand as if to brush it off as nothing. “Please, no need to explain.”

“I hate being a prince.”

The man froze.

That sounded stupid, you’d better explain.

“When I found you there. I just wanted to be…for a little while, I don’t know, a boy talking to a stranger—a boy helping an old man. Not a prince. Do you understand? But when the guards tried to turn you away…I just…”

Amit the diplomat disappeared, and the old and perhaps kindly scholar who’d needed an arm returned. “Yes, I do. And—I thank you for that, and for the beach, my young friend.” He smiled and squeezed Kale’s arm as he had outside the gates.

Kale sighed in relief. In fact he nearly broke down in tears that would have shamed him, so he quickly said goodnight and walked away, trudging up the stone steps to his current room on legs still sore from training. He wanted nothing more than to cover his head in darkness, block out the world and sleep, but as he arrived at his room he found a servant waiting at the door—one of the king’s messengers.

“Prince Ratama. Your father would like to see you in his private audience chamber.” The man didn’t bother adding ‘immediately’, which every message from Farahi included. He pointed his arm back down the stairs, and clearly meant to escort Kale himself.

You were wrong, Kale thought, remembering Lani’s words. I am absolutely afraid of the sorcerer king.

His shoulders slumped as he obeyed, and his stomach twisted into knots.

* * *

The mango-wood double doors of the king’s small-chamber were still open, spear-armed guards on either flank. Light came from lanterns and torches lined around the walls, and the several minute walk to get there only made Kale’s anxiety worse.

He found the king in his silver chair, rigid and scribbling at a desk, the room and walls otherwise bare, as stark as their king. His silks had been replaced by soft, cotton robes, but even here surrounded by family, his bearing seemed the same. Aunt Kikay sat on his desk, almost whispering in his ear, hand on his shoulder. When they noticed him, she rose and gave a cautious smile.

“I’ll leave my favorite boys alone. Be nice, Fara-che.” This was a term of endearment that meant roughly ‘my Fara’, which not even Farahi’s wives used.

His father grunted. Aunt Kikay touched Kale on the shoulder as she passed, and shooed the servant away. The doors closed.

“How was your formal introduction to court?” said the king after a long, uncomfortable delay, without looking up from the papers on his desk.

“You were there, Father.” Kale’s heart beat a little faster. Is that really the attitude you want to start with?

Another grunt. Farahi closed his eyes and rubbed at them. “Yes. This…philosophy—the ideas of some Pyu thinker I’m unaware of? Is it a tutor you’d like me to bring to the palace for you?”

He means it, too, Kale thought, I should give him more credit. “No, Father. There’s nothing you need do.”

The king looked up, as usual more at Kale’s neck then his face. “Then why bring it up in court? And what’s this business about plague and priests?”

Kale thought to the story that his whole family—his grandparents and aunts and uncles and first cousins—had all died of some plague, and that no one really believed it. He wanted to say ‘I’m tired of lies’, or ‘I’m tired of everyone pretending all the time’, or ‘I’m tired of being afraid’. But he said, “I don’t know, Father, I was just trying to be clever.”

Farahi returned to scribbling. “In future I would avoid it.” And matter closed, Kale thought. “Do you like the navy?”

“Well enough, Father, I’ve only been there a few days.”

“Then why did you turn up at the palace in the middle of the night?”

Ah yes, that. “I was taking a walk on the beach, and I found Master Asan.”

“And why didn’t you announce you were an Alaku prince immediately?”

Bloody fifty hells how did he even know. “It…didn’t seem important. At the time.”

“But it did seem important when my palace guards were going to turn you away?”

Kale felt the hated blush rising. “Yes. Well, yes.”

“And you thought it necessary to chastise them for following my orders? To contradict those orders?”

“I…didn’t know. What orders?”

“To guard the palace gates. There has been standing orders to prevent the sick from entering for years. How could you live here all your life and not know that?”

“I…don’t know.”

“Sickness is a great danger; it must be treated accordingly.”

Something about this just felt wrong. Like an excuse. “He wasn’t truly sick, he was just old and tired.”

“The guards didn’t know that.”

Kale felt he’d acted correctly, felt this reprimand unfair. “They did not see fit to check. And since I knew better, I gave them new orders.”

Farahi’s eyebrows raised. “You have no authority to give new orders. Guardsmen are not physicians. They have no ability to determine if a man is sick, or not, and neither do you.”

Kale felt heat rising as it had at the gate. He was right and this wasn’t fair, and his father accepted the bloody man into his court. “Your physicians know as much about the sick as you know about sorcery.”

The king’s eyes went wide, and Kale tried and failed to imagine what sort of madness had just consumed him.

“You’re as stubborn as your mother.”

He’d expected rage, but somehow the king seemed only amused. Not once in Kale’s whole life had he mentioned his mother. It made the madness worse.

“And you can’t stomach disagreement, from anyone, even when you’re wrong, even when you’re blinded by your own fear!”

The king looked as if he’d been struck. He spoke slow. “Fear? What is it I’m supposed to be afraid of?”

Kale raised his arms. “Death, assassins? How do I know. I’ve moved rooms more times than I can remember, and for what? You get rid of servants for no reason. They flinch as you pass. And now, you give orders to turn away old men and children?”

The silence felt loud, and Kale felt like he’d lost control of himself, a hundred feelings mixed and mashed over the years now useless in his gut.

Farahi spoke calmly, at first, but his tone built. “My orders have turned this city into the envy of the world. My orders have brought peace and prosperity to a nation of bickering children. My orders have become laws. And guardsmen, princes, even kings must obey the law. By what possible right do you think you can question me?”

“A thing is just, Father, or it isn’t.”

The king met his eyes, maybe for the first time. “Naivety impresses no one. There is very little justice in this world, only law. The men who disobeyed me will be whipped.”

For a moment Kale couldn’t speak. “What? You…they were just following my command!”

His father’s hand smashed onto the desk.

“You have no authority to give commands! These men abandoned their posts, it makes no difference why. You speak of death and assassins like the words have some meaning to you, but you don’t know. You’re an untried boy who knows only peace and safety. Perhaps next time it will be a killer in the night who tricks them and not a princeling. Laws. Orders. These are the only things that prevent men from killing each other. Remember that.”

Kale shook, trapped in the madness that wouldn’t end. “Laws don’t make men right, or good. Courage does, and compassion. Perhaps you lack both.” He turned and made for the doors.

“You will leave when I dismiss you, and not before!”

Kale stopped and half-turned back, tears forming in his eyes. His father shook his head.

“You’ve been coddled for too long and that stops now. You will return to your barracks, and you will not be seen at this palace until you are ready to apologize to me for this disgraceful behavior. Do you understand?”

Kale swallowed down as much pride, bitterness, and childhood as he could. He gave the smallest of bows.

“I understand.”

8: Spring. 421 G.E.

Ruka raced across an open plain on foot, carrying everything in the world he owned. Strong birch logs for a lean-to jostled over his shoulder, tied overtop a leather pack stuffed with supplies. Most important was the cloth tarp, warm furs, firewood, good hatchet and knife; but his iron pot, too, was vital, and lashed with rope to the bottom holding flasks with boiled water. He’d been running since dawn, and now watched the sun as it drooped and fell.

His prey carried nothing. Its long legs and sleek body crossed the same plains in sprints and stops, weary eyes turning back again and again now to see. Sooner or later it would tire—a deer had no sense of pace. It placed no eye on the future to see needed watering holes or failed muscles burned to exhaustion. It understood only fear, and hope—too eager to live in the moment.

Ruka chose his time and ground well. In his years alone he’d learned he could run down any beast with four legs in the right terrain, with enough time. The spring sun lingered, and the soft earth and low grass gave no relief or rest to the creature’s flight. It had no bushes or trees, no shrubs or sloughs to hide behind and rest while Ruka hunted for tracks. It had only a flat sea of yellow and green and a few rolling hills—an endless view of a world unsuited to all but the hardest and strongest of things.

The animal at last stopped running, waiting in a patch of thistle, head and antlers low, legs shaking, eyes weary. It let its hunter close now—strength dwindled to a point past caution, the white fur on its chest heaving with steady panting, its tongue out and dripping like a dog’s.

Ruka had never before tried to run down a buck in its prime. This one looked young, and healthy, not starving or trapped by protecting its young, not sick or wounded. He had pit his will and stamina against the strong, and eclipsed it. I told you I could do it, Mother.

He paused long enough to bask in the pride, wishing only that she could see him. Stop gloating and get to it, came her voice in his mind, and he smiled, then unsheathed his knife.

The relative warmth of the North would spoil most of the meat in days. To make the most use he would stuff himself, eating what he could every hour of the day and using up his strength exploring to grow his hunger, but still much would go to waste.

“Thank you,” he said out loud, as was his custom. He meant it partially for the deer’s life, but mostly just for giving up and getting caught. He hadn’t eaten much but wild raspberries for days, and if he’d failed to catch the deer after using up near all his energy, things could get difficult. Well, more difficult.

Survival as an outlaw seemed to Ruka an endless war against cold, thirst, illness and starvation. What he could catch, he killed. What he could find, he stole. He kept away from men because some men hunted outlaws for sport, or profit, or other worse things. He kept off roads and his fires low; he made and abandoned shelters, hid his tracks, and learned the paths of farmers and other locals so as to avoid them. Most importantly, he learned how to hunt.

The deer jerked its head as he approached, but its legs faltered.

“Easy, now,” he said, voice soft, taking slow steps with his hands up, his knife out. He could see the fear in the creature’s eyes. Fear, yes, and helplessness. It had run the greatest sprint of its life; it had honored the memory of its ancestors and pit its strength against a killer, but it had failed. And like the horse from Alverel Ruka once rode then ate to survive, it had no other instinct. It had no re-course or understanding of its failure. It could not comprehend how this strange, slow thing with two legs had caught it, nor conceive of a world where it might use its horns and hooves to fight instead of run, to use its weight and speed to break apart its murderer, and even in failure perhaps protect its kin in the future. It knew only it could run no more.

Ruka seized an antler and twisted. He brought his knife up and slashed its throat, hurling it down and following to make sure the cut was good. It thrashed, but weakly. He lay on top of it, putting his face down to the hot, trembling flank and listening to the heartbeat fade. He’s not even damp—he doesn’t sweat like me. I wonder why, and how it matters. He wrapped his sore arms around the creature and squeezed, remembering his mother’s hugs, and shivering at the feel of its heat on his cool skin.

“I don’t hate you,” he said, wishing it could understand, and that the living weren’t made to kill the living. He wished a man could survive without learning to kill, but only in his Grove did he weep. Only in his Grove, staring into a fire he’d built from imaginary trees, did he see a world where life and death were the same, where mercy was not a weakness.

In the real world his body just waited for the deer to bleed out. He closed his eyes and faded into a dreamless sleep, and when he lifted his head again, he felt the cool wind of evening. The sun god Volus all but vanished on the horizon, the bright slit of his lover’s pupil shining white in a cloudless sky. Ruka lifted his left hand and spattered himself with drops of blood, wiping it on his pants.

He brought his mind to the present and looked around, and though he could recall everything he’d ever seen, he had no memory of this place. It didn’t concern him. His quarry often brought him to strange, nearly lifeless hills and valleys, or rivers and lakes teeming with cold, slippery things. Sometimes he’d spend days or even weeks spear-fishing in such places, or building snares and shelter, but always he had to move.

The threats now as ever were other hunters, or scavengers—wolves, perhaps, but more likely men. He’d seen no trace of either here, though, and decided to risk a fire. This was no simple decision.

In the past he’d followed smoke from the fires of others to steal supplies, and many times he’d seen the aftermath of other outlaws found in such ways. He’d seen boys his age cut to pieces and fed to tracking dogs, slaughtered while they slept, their camps destroyed and looted.

And there’s no trees, he realized, though he had the dry birch in his bag, and the wood from his lean-to if needed. He’d have to gather huge piles of grass, dandelions, cattail fluff and any twigs he could find, and even then it wouldn’t last long. But with the deer freshly caught, it’s worth it. Tomorrow, perhaps, he could explore.

He stood with a groan, walking out from the thistle patch and stooping to collect grass with his hands. He’d eaten things raw before, and drunk water straight from silty rivers without boiling it first. But that could kill you, too.

He’d spent days doing little more than emptying his bowels and stomach from such foolishness. Every spasm, every fit of nauseous waste made him crawl out into the cold and spend more precious energy. Then he’d had to clean himself with water so frigid it hurt his skin and sapped his will. And still he’d had to find and kill his meals—had to keep his shelter standing through harsh winds, his snares ready for rabbits or squirrels, though even looking at the meat made him green. Half-dead with sickness he’d still had to keep a watchful eye on the horizon lest a stranger find and kill him in the night.

It was just life, now, and had been for several seasons. Men were pack animals that survived by watching each other’s children and taking turns with the many tasks of life. But outcasts had no such luxury. When he’d escaped Alverel he’d fled North—North nearly as far as North went—then turned East to the old capital of Orhus and the Galdric Order. He crept and stole his way to the home of law itself, the religious center of the world, and there he’d found his mother’s people. The memory still sloshed ice in his gut.

They’d taken one look at him, one small moment to see the twisted features and blotchy skin, and turned him away. All that walking and waiting, hiding and foraging in strange lands, all for nothing. He’d watched and waited and asked the locals till he found ‘Vishan’ that bore his mother’s name, and found them living like chiefs in houses bigger than anything Ruka had ever seen.

Orhus was huge, sprawling, filled with life and wealth, but also many men and many dangers. Ruka had crept to his kin’s window and whispered who he was, and after a hundred miles and a hundred risks, an old woman had said ‘begone’ without offering a meal, and only a promise of death if he returned.

I’ll come back for you, too, he’d sworn as he fled for days without pause, afraid they’d send chiefless to track him down and leave him rotting in a field like Beyla.

He put it from his mind by remembering the other deer he’d butchered—every mistake and lesson learned. Now he avoided the bowels and scent glands, cutting chunks of the meat into thin slices, putting scraps of meager fat into his pot to melt. He started the fire with a rock and his hatchet, feeding it constantly with fast-burning tinder, then his precious birch as he hung pieces of flesh straight into the flames. The smoke choked him and rose in gouts to the dark sky, but he didn’t care. He ate in silence, practicing with throwing spears in his Grove, piercing targets carried by Stable-Boy-from-Alverel.

“Good throw,” he said to himself, as one spear pierced the target and the boy to bounce down red on the lush grass of his training field. Stable-Boy beamed, jaw flopping with pride, and Ruka smiled back, glad as always for the company, thinking now perhaps they were close to the same age.

His body in the real world tipped the pot back and drank the melted fat, wiping grease off his chin with a sleeve. He pictured the face of Priestess Kunla smiling, noting the purple bruises under her eyes, and the way her dirty, greasy hair made spots on the skin it touched. He noted her eyes as she moved for a better seat to watch him die in the valley of law. Then he summoned the faces of the kin that turned him away. He remembered the children who attacked him as a boy, and the jurors at his trial who sat still and did nothing while he was betrayed by the ‘law’.

You’re all to blame, he hissed in his Grove, feeling a tremble and pressure in his mind that never seemed to fade, clenching his teeth on gristle and flesh much harder than was needed to chew, and flexing a blood-stained hand on the grip of his knife.

* * *

Later, half-asleep in gloom and lost in his thoughts, he almost missed it. He heard the crunch of dry grass that moved with gusts of wind; the flicker of a shadow in the embers of his flame. He seized his knife, and leapt to his feet, but he’d been too slow.

A shape moved in the dark hunched down low to the ground.

Ruka’s eyes pierced through the dim light of his dying fire to see a teenage boy in rags—then another, maybe six feet beside. He backed away and saw another to his right.

“What do you want?”

His voice cracked and sounded strangely deep, and his mind reeled to find an answer to ambush and protect his purpose.

Rag-boy rose up as if he hadn’t been hiding.

“Meat.”

His voice was hollow and desperate—blank, somehow, and indifferent. Ruka’s hairs stood on his arms and neck. The boy’s rotting clothes hung like a corpse’s shroud to skeletal limbs. He had a club in his right hand and shoes so worn his feet might as well be bare. His dull eyes locked on the half-butchered deer corpse.

All my gear, said Ruka’s reason with horror. He knew he must flee, or risk his life in a fight. If I run, then all the danger and sacrifice and luck to have a hatchet and pot and bedroll worth a damn, all to waste.

Rag-boy stepped forward, his decision already made.

Where the hell have they come from? I’m in an open plain of grass.

Ruka could fight them and maybe win. He was strong and, by the looks of them, comparatively well-fed. But a broken ankle or pus-filled cut gained in the scrap might mean he’d win, but still lose, limb corrupting while he watched it, helpless, only waiting for death.

Time stretched as he considered—a painful eternity of choosing bad or worse, like burning in the mountain, or rotting in a field. Ruka was so tired of running, so tired of being alone and at risk.

I’m bigger and stronger than these boys. I practice violence every day in my Grove, and I’m so tired of running.

But if he failed…

The looters moved closer now, at least three of them with dirty hands and nothing much to lose. Ruka tensed and gripped his knife, standing tall and staring till the boy who spoke stopped and met his eyes. Men are not like animals, they do not judge danger as they should. They should fear me, and yet they do not.

Ruka almost screamed in frustration, then he turned and ran.

He half collided with another boy behind him, slashing wildly in panic and surprise with his head down. He felt a blow and heard a sound like ringing iron mingled with shouts from the circle of bodies around his camp. He felt hands grabbing at his long hair and arms, but his speed and weight threw them off, and he broke out from the warmth and light of the fire, foot following foot out into the night.

Without humor he realized he ran like the deer—at a sprint with no thought of where to go, or what was next. He left everything but his knife, garbed in only the thinner cloth he’d worn to keep cool in his hunt. His warmer wool and animal skins still sat by his fire, and the night felt cold.

Wetness dripped down his scalp and then his brow, and when he wiped it and saw red his head seemed to swell and ache. He looked back and saw the boys give up following him in the dark, but still he ran up and down the gentle slopes of the endless plain, not sure what to do, knowing only without water he’d die in three days. And if I die, I fail. If he failed, his life of misery was meaningless. And my mother’s life and fall and love and sacrifice were meaningless. He could not fail.

The clear image and memory of his mother made Ruka trip and lose his pace—though the pounding in his head didn’t help. My coat, my mother’s hair is in the coat.

His mind told him he’d already run two-thousand and thirty strides, and only now did he look at the memory of stuffing his pocket with the pale lock of his mother’s hair. It was the only thing left of her, save perhaps bones in a field, and most nights before he slept he put it in his hand, or in his furs. You can remember exactly what it looks like, what it smells and feels like, you don’t need it. It’s weakness.

He had no argument. But still his feet slowed then stopped in their worn leather boots, and he traced his fingers over the blood and tender gash on his hairline, thinking perhaps the pain seemed worse than the wound. But where am I going, and why?

The run had cleansed his panic and left his muscles hot and filled. Those boys are starving. Once they eat they’ll be nearly sick, and sluggish. Perhaps they’ll set no watch, or a bad one, perhaps they’ll have water or know where it is. Perhaps they’ll have shelter and other supplies.

He could track and hunt them, just like the deer. And why not? What difference between men and animals save for their minds? They would have killed me, if they could. They took everything I have and left me for dead. Am I now supposed to be merciful?

All creatures had their weaknesses, their needs and predictabilities. Men were pack animals. Their numbers would swell their courage and make them careless and overconfident. They would not fear for their lives or their camp from one wounded stray that had already fled them. At worst they might think Ruka cowered near-by, shivering in the cold, hoping just to re-take his supplies and run away again. But Ruka was tired of running.

And whatever I am, and whatever men are, I can see in darkness and they can not. It was the one difference that went beyond marks or skin lumps or misshapen skulls, and had kept him alive again and again in his time as an outcast.

If any of Beyla’s gods exist, Ruka thought, surely it is Noss.

Surely, if any of it were true, it was the mountain god’s demons and monsters that lurked in the night and ate children in their beds—for something had given them and Ruka eyes that pierced the night. Surely there was a reason.

In his time alone he had already seen the sun-less hunters, and the truth of the holy book’s darker claims. He had seen an owl swallow wailing chicks whole after shredding their parents, then settle on the branch that was once their home to sleep. He’d seen a fawn and its mother eaten by wolves mid-birth, the doe too weak and burdened to flee, mewling in terror as its child kicked and failed to walk and died while its mother could only watch, then join its fate. Neither horror was an accident. It was clear the hunters knew—their eyes shining in the moonlight, some cunning instinct guiding them to the weak, and the helpless.

Ruka had roamed half the land of ash and seen such creatures thrive, unmolested by blinded day-things like men and the daughters of Galdra. There was no justice for them. No god or laws had intervened to save victims or punish killers. And why should they be judged? Why should anyone? Were not such creatures born with their need for flesh? Like any outcast would they not starve if they didn’t kill? Would they not fade away from the world and be forgotten, the evils and labors of their forebears all for nothing?

Prey has no right to reject predator, Ruka knew.

Justice and mercy were only a woman’s lie. The Galdric sisters called their strength ‘law’, but after all the fine words Ruka hated, it was only as strong as those who enforced it with violence, and that was always men with swords—the same swords Imler had used.

Hypocrisy festered like an open sore in Ruka’s mouth. He smelled self-interest and deception in the air as if some foul miasma, choking every breath until he felt each was the last and deadly corruption of his lungs. In his mind he saw a thin-walled house built on sand, doomed to break apart and wash away on its own given time. But I don’t want it to wash away, Ruka thought, I want it to burn.

He turned and re-traced his steps through the grass. In the wellspring of images in his mind he drew back every patch of ground he’d walked, knowing the color of the soil and the rocks, the slope and angle of every hill and whether they would block sight and how far to the next.

Ruka would watch and wait. He would count his prey and follow them, and if they were foolish, if they were weak, he would kill them one by one like the owl, and sleep in the nest of his victims because it was convenient. He would swallow their lives without shame because shame was as false as the prophet’s rock.

‘You can be free,’ his mother said, ‘you can write your own story’.

He could still see the terrible, wonderful last look in her eyes as she said it, the pale cheeks that slurred her words with frozen numbness. Surely, there is nothing more free than a beast of the wild, Mother. Surely, to change the world, I must first change myself.

His pace increased as he imagined showing her he understood. I will make you proud, Beyla, wherever you are. Turn your eyes from paradise and watch me now. My story begins tonight.

9

“Dala, we have a kill! Enough for everyone!”

The youngest twins, who they all agreed were about eleven, burst through the door grinning and covered in blood. They carried wood and a leather bag that looked heavy with supplies.

“My heroes!” Dala wiped her wet hands on her apron and went to them, taking each in a half hug, always careful with her favor, then she looked out the window of their house.

Meesha, the oldest, carted what looked like a deer on his back. Fire from the hearth lit the stern gauntness of his face, highlighting his plain, sallow cheeks and eyes. He bore the hardship for all of them, she knew, and felt the weight of their lives on his shoulders. He never complained. He never hit the other boys or yelled, and with every breath he taught them how to hunt, how to garden, how to survive. He was ten times the man Dala’s father ever was.

“Help your brother,” Dala cleared the clutter of wooden cups and knives from their only table, knowing it would be wiser to work outside, but not possible without light. She rolled up her sleeves even further, tying back her hair and hanging the wet clothes she’d been cleaning out through the window Meesha hated.

‘It lets in the cold,’ he’d complained, ‘it’s not practical.’ But Dala persisted, promising they’d plug it with wood and furs in the winter, and, eventually, Meesha cut a hole. He’d never admit it now, of course, but she knew he loved the warm Eastern sun on the mornings they took breakfast together. He loved the fresh air and seeing her work from outside before he came in. He’d even moved the table near-by.

Dala stared at the somewhat dull edges of her knife and wondered where to start on the carcass. She looked at the stained, round table they’d used a hundred times and let out a breath, feeling tired and groggy already. Alright, I’ve never butchered a deer, but how hard can it be?

Meesha trudged in dirt and blood, stooped his tall frame down to enter the half-rotted door, then dropped the gory mess of his kill on the table. “We’ll guard the house,” he said, then rolled and cracked his neck and shoulders and scratched at his fleas. Dala wanted to go to him. She wanted to rub his tired muscles and wrap her arms around him. But as always, she refrained.

“Guard it? From what?” She looked at the corpse of the deer. Half its trunk was missing, the hind section cut off near straight as if by a very sharp knife, white jut of spine sticking out and avoided expertly. “Did you…take this from someone?” She knew the answer of course and regretted asking. It would only remind Meesha of what he’d done. Of what he’ll have to do again.

In a world where his family could live off the land, Meesha would be good and peaceful, but the Northern chiefs made war over grain, as they often did, and the Ascom starved. Meesha stole and robbed to feed his brothers, and to feed her. He fought to protect their land and house. If he had to, he would kill. But in Dala’s eyes this made him strong, brave, and worthy of respect. It didn’t make him a monster.

Without him and his brothers she would be long dead—eaten by birds and wild dogs in a foreign field of grass many miles from her home. Her father had bound her arms and legs, rolling her for miles in a wagon with her baby brothers, and left them there like discarded dogs. She’d begged and cried, but he’d said nothing. He hadn’t wept, hadn’t said he was sorry, hadn’t touched them or said any final words.

Their harvest had failed, so instead of watching his family starve, he’d chosen to kill half his children. The lesser children, she thought bitterly, and he’d done it without kindness or mercy.

Now she gripped her biggest knife and tried to focus on the task, instead feeling a rising panic for Meesha’s safety. Her baby brothers had died in that endless field, but Meesha had saved her. He’d never asked for anything, never asked what she did or why she’d been left there. He’d looked at the ugly growth on her cheek that showed she was Noss-touched, then looked at her eyes. “You can live with my family,” he’d said, already untying her, “but you don’t have to.”

She’d loved him, then, and she still did. If her god-cursed body would ever start bleeding, she’d Choose him at once and take him to her bed and show him how much. Thirteen cursed, terrible winters and still it hasn’t come, she thought. Tiny bits of hair, yes, and little breasts and curves from fat, but no blood.

And the law was clear. Until she bled, she was not allowed to Choose Galdric servants. Men often ignored the prophet’s laws in a famine, but Dala knew women shouldn’t. Women couldn’t. It was up to women to give men hope and faith and protect them from Noss’ damnation, to give them something to return to when all the madness was over—some reason to put down their swords.

When the time came she would take Meesha’s brothers too to protect them all from jealousy and violence in the years to come. She wanted only him, but in time she would give them all children and warmth and fill their house with love. She prayed Meesha knew it was all for him.

For now she banished her worry and started skinning. Every piece of the animal would be useful and she did her best to keep the parts intact. Its hide and fur would make clothes and blankets, its antlers and hooves tools. She had enough salt to cure most of the meat, but the half-starved boys could eat a lot in the next two days, and perhaps she needn’t bother.

She toiled for hours, sweat beading on her neck. It would have been easier to hang the carcass instead of turning it over with her hands, but she didn’t have that luxury. The thought of her fresh potatoes and carrots mixing with the meat made her mouth water as she worked, and her heart soared at the image of a family-feast with her boys.

“It seems safe,” said Meesha, at last back in their doorway and looking ready to drop.

“Sit, sit,” she bumped his chair with her hip, trying not to get blood everywhere.

He flopped down and his lids sagged. “It was an outcast we found. Disfigured, at least says Shona. I never saw much but his eyes, which were strange enough. We found his fire.”

Did you kill him?

She didn’t ask, and reddened at the disfigured comment but knew Meesha wouldn’t even think of hers. “I wonder what he’s doing out here.” She kept her eyes and face turned squarely on her work, then stoked the hearth with a few logs from the inner firewood pile.

“Shona brained him. He said he hit him square and hard, and I heard the sound. We were shocked he didn’t go down.”

Dala pulled a layer of fat away from bone and cut it off and said nothing. She truly didn’t want to know. If she thought long enough about the poor wretches of the world, she would weep all night and be useless, but the goddess had saved her once. She had given Dala new life here with boys she could one day turn into good men, and there was always hope.

She looked back and met Meesha’s eyes.

“Let’s pray he lives and finds his path elsewhere.”

Meesha stared at first, but softened, accepting that with a nod.

By the time they all sat down to eat, Dala half expected to see sunlight out their window.

“Is it ready?” The youngest gripped his spoon in a dirty hand, red eyes locked on the stew pot over their fire.

“Almost.” Dala smiled. Usually they’d curl up together near the hearth when night fell, but the boys were too excited and hungry to sleep.

They thumped their chairs and pushed each other’s shoulders. Even Meesha grinned or made faces in the dim light, and the older twins jostled while the younger watched and cheered, recounting their adventure with gestures and boasts like grown men in a hall.

“Better hurry, Dala, or Shona might whack you with his stick.”

Meesha winked and all the boys laughed, a few patting their brother’s back or shoulders, pride in their grunts and glistening in their eyes.

Forgive them, Goddess, thought Dala. They have nothing else to feel prideful about, but they aren’t wicked men. One day they’ll feel the same for their fine children and healthy crops, and leave all thoughts of violence behind. She stirred and prodded hard potatoes in her salty broth. “Good enough,” she said, mostly to herself, and placed the heavy bowl on a leather mat in the center of the table.

“First, we give thanks.” She stared down any boy who dared show protest. Meesha lowered his head and straightened his posture, and the rest followed. Dala closed her eyes. “Thank you, Mother, for our family. Thank you for this mild weather, our home and garden, for the stranger in the night and for his food we’re about to eat. We ask you to keep him safe.” On another day she might go on, but she knew now it was best to keep things short. “Praise her name.”

‘Praise her name,’ the boys mumbled, looking at their oldest for assurance.

Their Matron hadn’t been diligent in her Devotions before she died, and when Dala first came to live with them she’d found boys who stopped talking to Nanot altogether. With Meesha’s support, she’d remedied that quickly.

Dala ladled out portions with care not to spill. The boys took their bowls with trembling hands, certainly burning their mouths as they spooned without waiting, moaning as the hot juice ran down to coat their stomachs.

“It’s good?” she said, unable to hide her grin, to a chorus of grunts.

She loved when the boys enjoyed her cooking, or how they smelled their clothes when she scrubbed them with soap, or how they stretched warm and comfy on mornings she stoked the fire. She was their sister, their mother, and one day she would be their Matron. They were her responsibility, her holy charge. Their garden would grow in size and yield, the famine would end, and one day soon the merchants would use the Spiral again to sell grain down country quarters, and life would get better. One day their meager house would fill with love and children and joy.

Dala looked at Meesha’s dark hair, his wide shoulders. With a bit of meat on his bones he’d be handsome, and she felt a dull ache that stretched from her throat to her stomach as she thought about touching him, kissing him, holding him closest when they slept by the fire.

He looked up and met her eyes, chewing stopped long enough to smile. She almost gasped when he touched her hand under the table. “It’ll be alright,” he said. He always seemed to know what to say and when. She prayed to the Mother again for her blood, knowing she’d have to make a new bed and hang a curtain to give them privacy, thinking perhaps in the future they could build an attachment and new hearth even as their family grew.

Then she heard a sound like a hand slapping wood, and a thick black thing dropped as if from nowhere to smash on the table. Meesha jerked with violence. He fell off his chair, and was still holding Dala’s hand. She couldn’t seem to move, rigid until her senses understood, almost tugging on Meesha’s hand to keep it in hers. The thing on the table was a piece of firewood. It looked sharpened on one side as if by a knife, the spear-like tip now coated in red.

Her gaze trailed down to Meesha. His hand was completely limp, in hers now only because she gripped it with white knuckles. Blood oozed from his scalp in a horrible dent beside his ear, his neck angled and twisted strangely. His eyes were open, pupils twisted to the corner to show mostly white. Dala felt a sick coldness growing in her limbs and shoulders. Her head felt too heavy to hold up.

All the twins scattered their chairs as they rose up shouting ‘Weapons!’ and ‘Get outside!’ and other things that Dala heard but didn’t comprehend.

Shona reached the door first. He threw it aside and went through with an axe in hand, then stopped and stumbled back. He spasmed, and blood sprayed behind him as a thing like a spear came out his back. It seemed attached, somehow, to the roof, as if it had swung down. Dala watched him sag and felt nothing.

The other boys tried to pull him off and help him stand as his twin charged out into the night. Dala heard fighting and a war-cry, then disgusting, wet gurgling sounds. She heard a sniffle and crying, then all was quiet.

“Don’t go out,” she said, but her voice didn’t seem to work enough to go past a whisper, and the coldness in her limbs led to trembling, and she couldn’t keep her grip on Meesha’s hand anymore. She looked out the window and saw glowing eyes in the darkness, yellow, angled like a wolf’s. They came closer, all the way to the window, and Dala tried to run but fell, her legs without the strength to move.

The fire hissed and sizzled. Dala felt something wet splash her dress and nearly screamed, then saw their well bucket as it clattered and bounced into the room before the fire-light all but vanished.

“I can’t see,” cried one of the boys, a terror in his voice that made Dala remember her own screams as her father left her to die cold and betrayed.

She heard footsteps in the doorway. She heard the boys shuffling and whimpering in the dark. Then she heard a struggle, and the tearing, sucking sounds of butchery. Like the deer, she thought, and couldn’t seem to stop repeating it, it sounds just like the deer.

“Mamma, please,” the youngest crawled to her, shoving away a chair and finding her arms in the dim light of the hearth’s embers. He hugged her stomach, putting his head on her chest, his shaking matching her own.

The wolf eyes came closer, and if they belonged to a man, they held no pity. Dala’s sight had adjusted and now she made out the outline of the disfigured face, the towering body of lean, hard muscle. A knife flashed in his hands, and what was left of Dala’s family screamed as the wolf stabbed him again and again.

She didn’t move as he died. All she could do was cling to the boy as his body jerked against her, as he squeezed and cried while he was murdered.

“Stop,” she tried to shout, but it came out only a whisper, “please stop.”

The wolf seemed to hear, and understand. His eyes widened as he came close and stared into hers. “Stop?” His voice was raw, deep, and hysterical. He seized Dala’s hair with a wet hand. “You think words stop violence? You think words do anything at all?” His accent was strange, almost Northern, educated, like the son of a rich matron. He stumbled away as if dazed, then collapsed on Dala’s chair, staring out into the night as if he could see. “You can go,” he said, “or stay. It makes no difference.”

Neither of them moved. The wolf stared at nothing, and Dala held her brother’s corpse. She turned and threw up deer-stew, still feeling numb, and the sound or perhaps smell broke the wolf’s rest.

He rose and moved about the house, perhaps collecting supplies, though it was hard to see. Dala thought she saw him take his bag and the things her family stole. He seemed to leave the rest untouched.

At last she felt the deep gut fear through her numbness, the kind she’d felt once playing on her father’s roof. Grief and hurt followed and she wanted only to die with her family or kill their murderer, but all she could do was sit in silence. A voice whispering in her mind kept her still.

It told her she was young and unhurt—that she need only wait and the killer would leave and she would live. It made her feel like a coward, like a traitor, like the Noss-touched waste of beauty she’d been called as a child.

“We didn’t want to hurt you, but we’re starving,” she said. “We prayed for you.”

She nearly lost control of her bladder as the wolf screamed. The sound was deep and feral and Dala jumped and clenched her hands. The wolf lunged across the room with his knife and drove it hard into the hearth beside her head. His chest heaved, his inhuman eyes so close and so wide Dala could only stare as if into open flame. He is a monster in a nightmare, a beast of the old world.

“More words. More useless, meaningless words. You prayed for yourselves, daughter of lies, to ease your own guilt. Me you left to bleed in the dark.”

Dala cringed away from him, thinking that was wrong, that it wasn’t fair.

There’s only one of you, and there was many of us, she thought. You couldn’t even have eaten all you’d caught. Why is it fair that you live and we die?

She wanted to scream at him, to call him every vile word she knew, but an idea formed before any thought of consequence, and only one thing came.

“I choose you.” She meant to bark the words but still they came out weak and trembling, and she forced her hands to relax as she tried to lean forward and strike the tremble from her voice. “Son of Imler, I choose you as a servant of God. You can not refuse.”

The thought of taking this thing as a mate disgusted her, but it was all she could do. Perhaps it was both their salvation. And more, perhaps it was her duty. Time seemed to slow, then still, and she felt suddenly righteous, and powerful, like a woman grown. She felt like a priestess. I am a daughter of Galdra, nevermind the thing on my cheek. You will obey.

Despite his appearance, she thought, this thing before her was not a monster, but just a man. A murderous, heretical man, yes—a violent criminal no better than a dog. But he would serve the law, or suffer God’s wrath, and she would save him from the mountain.

The wolf pulled back, eyes blinking and blinking as if he’d seen something he didn’t quite understand, and Dala felt her triumph. She felt the proud eyes of the prophet watching from paradise.

Then laughter filled the dark, broken home as the wolf convulsed. His eyes closed, his voice boomed, but at once it turned harsh, and condescending.

“Monsters make no covenants with men.” His eyes opened and his pupils went up and down Dala’s limbs, and she felt watched by a hungry animal. Then he shouldered his leather bag up to rest on his back, tying it to himself with rope. He stopped and looked down at the deer carcass Dala had left on the floor.

His deer carcass, she thought, feeling somehow blank again.

“There are scent glands in the legs,” he said, looking at Dala’s fumbling cuts as if in pain, “cutting them spoils the meat.”

With that he slipped past the skewered, still-hanging body of Dala’s dead brother, footsteps squishing on the bloody floor, and vanished into the night.

* * *

Dala wept until morning, or at least until she fell asleep. She rose cramped and stained with her brother’s blood, the warm light on her skin flooding through the same window the wolf used to kill her family.

But they weren’t my family. They were just more boys who did terrible things to survive. Just like my father. Just like the wolf.

She felt foolish for thinking she was finally safe, and she felt like a coward for not doing more. As the scents and sights of the dead became real, and Meesha’s cold, white face was lit through the hole in the wall he’d cut for her, she understood love would never be enough. There would always be men like her father and the wolf who betrayed and went too far; there would always be men who scorned laws and love and all civilized things.

Her legs tingled as she rose, her vision swam and she realized she hadn’t eaten. It felt wrong to think of eating next to the dead.

She forced herself to look at Meesha and not turn away, grasping the table to keep from falling. Dark blood had pooled by his head. All color was gone from his skin except for a purple smear on his twisted neck.

Her gut heaved but she had nothing left to vomit. The room spun and she staggered across the disgusting floor. She saw the carving knife, and seized it. It would be so easy, she thought, to just die here with them and see and think no more.

Was there anyone left in the whole world who even knew she existed?

Just the wolf.

This thought came bitter. Was there a single person who cared?

I am cursed, Noss-touched, and my own father left me to die. Now her saviors would rot in the dirt. My Meesha, my strong, good Meesha.

Yet, still she lived. She’d survived the sickness that took her mother and sisters. She’d survived the famine, her father’s ruin, the outlaws. And now the wolf. Why do you spare me, Goddess? What difference do I make?

Her hands shook on the knife hilt.

Is it even my life to take?

Her own actions had never saved her, never changed anything that mattered. Nothing she’d done had brought her curse or salvation—surely her life was nothing but a contest between greater forces, between gods and immortal things that weaved a web of fate like spiders.

She wept, feeling helpless, but she’d regained the strength in her legs so she walked to Meesha and knelt down, stroking his cold cheek with her fingertips. “I’m sorry,” she said, not sure why, knowing only she was tired of feeling useless and at the mercy of others—tired of being something she didn’t choose, being responsible for things she didn’t intend, and for the lives of people she couldn’t protect.

They would not hate me, she thought, they would understand.

She sat at the blood-stained table and ate cold stew, the act and room so familiar yet now foreign and wrong. Dala tasted nothing and felt a hardening in her gut, a shutting down of the thing that wanted only to lay down and sleep. She’d thought that blaming Noss or thanking Nanot would give her peace, but she didn’t feel unburdened.

When she was finished eating she threw back her chair in anger and stood, listening as it clattered to the floor behind her and knocked over her youngest brother’s stool. The cracked edges spattered blood as they met the floor. Yesterday the mess would have sent me scrambling with a wet rag in hand, she thought. But not today.

Now the world seemed different, and dull. How could comfort matter in a place with mindless killers and evil gods? What difference the wishes or rules or concerns of the dead? A matron is judged by the care of her home, she heard her mother say. But the wolf was right about one thing—words never did much of anything.

She scrounged through the cluttered, ruined homestead, tossing aside dirty clothes and wooden toys in her search. She would need warm traveling clothes, tools to start a fire and cook or hold water, and many other things. Her eyes lingered on the corpse of her hanging brother at the door, her feet slowing as she thought to walk past. No. She balled her fists. I won’t take you down or bury you, I’m finished covering the evil of men, or making their excuses. She pushed the door aside and swallowed rising bile, then walked out and filled a bucket with well water, bringing firewood to re-light the hearth.

When she had all she thought she could carry she touched her cheek with the same hand that had brushed Meesha’s. It felt warm, bulged—Noss’s mark raised prominent and round, bulbous and ugly on an otherwise smooth-skinned face. She held the polished metal mirror Meesha gave her when she first came to their house.

‘It was my mother’s,’ he’d said, then never another word about her except the tree he’d buried her under. Now Dala set it firmly on the table and cleaned it with her least dirty rag. She stared at her warped reflection—her long, straight, dirty-blonde hair, her wide green eyes. Without her deformity, she knew, she was pretty.

Dala’s mother had always drawn stares, and Dala looked just like her. Even with her mark she could join a town and find a mate. There was always demand for women—wealth or no—especially childless girls on the cusp of matronhood.

She need only journey West to the road, follow it till she found a town or a chief and ask for shelter. The men would take her to a hall, or help her travel wherever she wished. The unchosen would line up to give her aid. They would primp and strut before her boasting of their deeds and talents and ambitions. They’d sniff about her skirts like stud dogs, deformity or no. Only women really care about such things.

If the town had a priestess Dala would have to see her first, but it wasn’t likely, and everyone knew women in the South made their own matches, especially in the smaller towns and countryside where the Order had less presence. Dala’s mother had chosen her father because he had strong arms, a handsome face and a twinkling eye, not because of the sisters. And perhaps that was the problem.

It was greedy, worthless men like him, men like the Northern chiefs who warred over crops, that marred the world with misery. All that stopped them was law and its champions. There simply weren’t enough. Is that why you spared me, Goddess? Because I have seen the darkness of life without your wisdom?

The idea of becoming a matron and finding some man like her father brought bile back to her throat. Surely, she thought, life could be more. Surely Dala had been spared for some greater purpose. I could be a priestess, she thought, I could join the Order and help bring law to a world filled with chaos.

The idea of that future at least brought her comfort, but fear, too, for she had no idea how she’d accomplish such a thing. The more she looked back on an existence filled with tragedy and hardship, though, the more she could see only one explanation for her life. To say her survival had been luck, chance, coincidence—this seemed laughable. When she looked she could see only one reason she survived when all the others perished, one reason to spare a meaningless girl from a Southern farm with no kin of any meaning: she had been chosen by Nanot to serve.

Perhaps Noss intervened, she thought, and felt a warmth of confidence flow over her like the sun. Perhaps he had marked her as a child to deny her future, destroying her family when they loved her anyway, and when all else failed, he sent his wolf. But I lived. I lived and thrived because my god is stronger.

She knew then why she’d grasped the knife—why she’d made a fire and fetched clean water and found Meesha’s mirror. On her hands and knees she scrounged through the only piece of drawered furniture they owned for the boys’ stolen Arag—a disgustingly strong, almost milky alcohol made from aniseed and who knew what else. Its skin was near drained, but there was enough.

She turned to a pile of torn and filthy clothes she’d meant to mend but never seemed to find the time, taking her smallest needle and the flax thread. This was thick and stiff, but all she had, and she sat back at the table and breathed.

The Sisters would never take a girl marked by Noss as an initiate, she knew that. But a girl orphaned and ‘attacked by outlaws’ on the road? A scarred girl whose wealth and life were destroyed by lawlessness?

In the halls of justice, perhaps, she could wear that like a badge of honor.

In her left hand she pulled and stretched the hated mass of discolored flesh, and in her right she gripped the knife. She had no idea what would happen, or if it could even be removed. The mark was not as sensitive as her skin, but nor was it numb. She had no idea how much it would hurt, how much it would bleed and if it could be stopped, or even if it would simply grow back. She knew only she must make a choice.

Live in fear and chaos, or devote herself to order; trust in the Goddess of law, or suffer the attention of the God of the dead.

With her eyes open, and her hands steady, she pushed the steel into her face. And then she screamed.

10: Dry season. 1577 A.E.

“Pull! Pull! Pull! Pull you worthless sons of whores! And keep straight!”

Kale clapped as he shouted, leaving his own two oars sitting at the front of the catamaran. The ten boys before him were red and sweating, throwing their bodies into the effort of yanking single long oars through a calm sea, but Kale felt them slipping to port, slowly and surely.

“How many brothers are moving this boat?”

“Ten, Brother!” nine shouted back.

“How many to port?”

“Five!”

“How many to starboard?”

“Five!”

“Then why the fuck are we drifting left!” He pointed. Silence. “I’ll tell you why! Because Afa’s tired. Aren’t you Afa?”

The newest recruit to Kale’s team would have no doubt flushed in the morning light, if he wasn’t already. “Yes, Captain,” he said. Some of the sailors winced.

“Yes, Brother.” Kale shouted, then calmed. “And I know you’re tired. We all know. Because your oar flaps through the water like a limp cock.”

The boys still pulled more or less in unison, grunting and groaning with the effort, and Kale felt a little like he had when he picked a fight with Thetma on the beach.

“Would you like to know who cares?” He waited, then leaned forward and raised his voice back to a shout. “We bloody do! Because your brothers need you to keep up, or we’re all going home, with nothing, in shame, because of you, and your mommy and your daddy and your sisters aren’t going to help you, Afa. No one…”

He stopped, looking at the sea and covering his breath of relief. “Why are we drifting back? And slowing down?” He pointed at the rowers on the port side. “You wanna lose, for him?”

“Wouldn’t…dream of it…Brother,” huffed one of the boys in between strokes.

Kale shook his head. “How sweet. Every other damn team is about to sail past us, but let’s stop and hold Afa’s hands. Is that right?”

“Not at all…Brother…we’re just…tired,” called another boy.

Kale summoned his most disgusted tone and expression, leaning back in his seat. “Well, when we fail out of the navy, I’ll go home to silk sheets and concubines, so what do I care. Row me back to shore.”

The boys pivoted their oars in-between the outriggers—the lateral floats fastened on both sides of the boat—and turned back towards the empty beach. Kale lay silently for awhile, watching the almost-always calm waves of the Northern coast, doing his best not to look pleased. Half-way back he started up again, with a gentler tone.

“We’ll practice this again in five days, gentlemen. And Afa, if you’ve not started to meet this crew’s standard by then, I swear, I’ll toss you in the sea for Roa. I’ll tell the seargent there was an accident, not that he’d give a shit if we all drowned.” Some of the boys snorted at that.

“Brother?” the new recruit’s face was still red but not cowed, “why don’t we use a drum to keep pace like the other teams?”

Kale didn’t look over. “Because it makes them stupid. Slaves to a sound. Here you watch the brothers in front, you watch the water, you watch the shore. It’s your responsibility to match pace. The drum is a crutch. The man who carries it useless weight. Instead I’ll help row.”

The hull soon slid into sand, and the crew went about fastening it to a beach-float. Kale hopped out and didn’t help them. “Starboard—good work today. Port…” He rolled his eyes and walked off.

But he turned back in a ways to look, and smiled to himself as he watched ‘Big’ Fautave put his arm around the exhausted Affa. He knew what he was saying, more or less.

‘Helluva job today. Good for a first go. Don’t mind the Prince, he’s all bluster. And we’ll look out for you. But now there’s work to do. First you’ve gotta eat till you’re ready to burst every second of the day—it’ll make you strong. You’re eating and sleeping and shitting for your brothers now, Afa. Then there’s more practice—you can come with us early mornings, and sometimes there’s time after lunch before second drills…”

Kale knew because he’d said the same thing, or something like it. He thought of their first day together—his original crew. The ten least experienced, skinniest, unlikeliest navy recruits standing at the docks in a row, pissed off and terrified. They were mostly the sons of farmers, like Thetma, or came to the navy because they had nowhere else to go. He’d stood before them and told them the truth.

“The petty officers think you’re all shit, and the seargent hates me because I’m a prince. That’s why we’re together.” He saw the surprise. “They expect us to lose every competition. To be the worst team, the team that goes home in shame. In fact it’s what they want.” He paced, feeling their anger. “Fortunately, the seargent, and his lackeys, are idiots.”

A couple nervous smiles.

“Most of these other boys? Navy families. Never faced hardship in their lives. Never had to really work to win. These are boys with almost nothing to gain, except acceptance. Nothing to lose, except their pride.” He smiled. “Boys like me.”

“Why do you care, then?” someone asked on cue.

“Because I want to rub Seargent Kwal’s face in shit, and the officers, too. Because I hate boys like me, and I want to rub some of their arrogant faces in shit. And because I believe, with my help, you’re not just going to pass these tests, you’re going to win the whole bloody thing. And I want to look in your faces when those pricks are falling behind you. I want to know what real pride looks like when unpromising sons do the impossible, with their own hands, and their own sweat. I want to feel your triumph, and yes, selfishly, I want to share in it.” He waited and looked them each in the eyes, feeling good telling the truth.

“It won’t be easy. Right now they’re better than you, and to beat them you’ll have to decide. For my part, I vow to go to the end. We’ll begin in the morning before the sun rises. Otherwise, stay in bed, and we’ll train only when ordered.” Then he’d walked away and left them to talk and think.

He hadn’t slept much that night. But when he arrived at the docks the next day, they’d all been waiting.

“Reporting for duty, Captain.”

Fautave spoke first. The lanky, goofy merchant’s son who’d joined the navy when his father’s yearly debts outgrew his yearly profits. The boy gained forty pounds of muscle since that first day, so the early nickname ‘Big’ had turned from a joke to a badge.

The rest had stood at attention—Thetma included. He was more developed and confident than the rest, but Kwal knew he was Kale’s friend and wanted him out just for that. He must have assumed Thetma wouldn’t be enough to salvage an otherwise dismal team.

Kale had grinned at them as he walked down the line. “Forget that Captain nonsense, we’re all leftover sons here—the same shit in the same hole. And that makes us brothers, Ka?”

“Ka, sir!” Most of the boys had smiled. Kind of nice to have so many brothers, especially a prince. Even pretend brothers, even an unimportant prince.

He’d told them about the tests, the training, the eating, all needing to be fit in between the normal navy schedule. Then he told them about the deception.

He knew they’d need to trick the officers into believing they weren’t improving, or risk interference. They’d accepted it well enough. And every day for the next month they’d worked like mules, sitting down at every meal like a holy ritual, stuffing themselves until their bellies stuck out. They’d sat together, joked together, and shared their stories.

Most teams developed a certain camaraderie, or at least some boys on each team did. But every boy on Kale’s team called each other ‘brother’ now, and meant it. Sometimes they squabbled like brothers, too. But it was always short-lived, forgiveness on the tips of tongues. They had other enemies to fight, and they all knew it.

They soon weren’t afraid of falling behind each other or looking foolish or losing. It didn’t really matter who was best, who was fastest. Every victor shared his knowledge, every loser asked for advice. All that mattered was the final victory to come—a victory they would share in equally, and his boys were catching up to the other recruits daily—their confidence, strength, and affection for each other growing in equal measure with their skill.

But then, a few days after the first month had passed, Titou, the son of a salt miner and one of Kale’s strongest, neglected the deception. He placed tenth overall in a rowing drill, outdoing navy sons and fishermen, shocking the officers into stunned silence, and Seargent Kwal had lost his mind.

“You must be drunk!” He screamed, the irony seemingly lost on him as he stumbled up and down before the troop. He accused the officers of playing favorites in training. He told the winners to be ashamed of their times, though they were well within standards. He pushed or hit boys who’d fallen short, shouting ‘disgrace’ as they cowered. He’d addressed the captains, saying the next navy or fisherman’s son to lose to a farmer or a miner at anything on the sea would be drowned. And then he’d stalked off without dismissing them, and they stood there, terrified, as the sun drooped and the breeze cooled. When Kwal eventually came back he’d called them idiots, saying of course they could return to their barracks, they had obviously been dismissed. But still they’d all gone slowly—even the officers.

A week later they’d been in the dining hall and Kwal walked to the podium at the front with his usual swagger. He’d said in the interest of fairness they needed to ‘re-balance’ the teams, then he left a list of names which the officers read since most of the boys couldn’t. It was soon obvious there had been only one change. Titou for Kalani—a small, weaker performer from another team. The boys had been crushed, especially Titou. Such a thing was unprecedented, but Kale was not at all surprised.

He knew the seargent hated him from the start, even more than he hated everyone else. After Kale’s disappearance to court, though—the ‘king’s request’ for a day off—it became obvious. Kale was regularly belittled in front of others, or sent out running for no reason while everyone else had down-time. He was even kept from important drills with menial work like cleaning ship hulls.

In the beginning he hadn’t much cared. The seargent was cruel to other boys. And it’s not as if Kale meant to spend his life in the navy. But he couldn’t seem to forget his dance with Lani—what she’d said to him; the look on her face. It kept him awake at night, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, thinking about his life. Thinking about her. And one day, as he watched the seargent spit in one of the youngest boy’s soup for no reason at all, something changed.

He’d started rising hours before first drill in the dark—usually to run, swim, or row. He practiced rigging ships, though he’d have to undo it all before anyone was up, and it was hard by himself and without much light. He knew if he was caught he might be whipped, son of the king or no, but he kept at it and brought candles from the palace and books to read, figuring the worst that could happen was getting a few manly scars. He read military tactics from the old admirals before Pyu was unified. He read ship specifications for all the warships and scouts. He read training guides from army grunts to the navy elite. He even read the history of Pyu warfare, sitting in his bed at night until the sun nearly rose.

Some of the other boys in the barracks had seen him and said things like ‘reading was for weaklings and cowards’ when he was listening. They never directed it at him, of course, just to each other in his presence. But when Kale looked in their eyes he saw the fragile masks. He saw the envy and anger, and most of all the fear. They were afraid of a world they didn’t understand, afraid of their own ignorance, angry at rich men and their sons who had things they didn’t. Almost none could read except a few simple words. What choice did they have, to keep their pride, but to look down on those who could?

Kale felt shame, then, and helplessness. Shame for a life of privilege that these sons of commoners could never dream of. Shame, because he had half a dozen tutors and access to any book he’d liked, and he’d always considered it a burden.

He knew he couldn’t change it, either. He couldn’t teach them, or change their minds. It wasn’t manly to feel weak, or foolish, or unskilled, and none of the boys would accept his offer if he tried. It would serve only as a reminder of his difference, of their own shortcomings, and the unfairness of life.

He’d felt alone again, then, and an urge to hide away from the world. Instead he hid his books and sneaked out to sit with the night watchmen to read by torchlight, but he felt no less concern for the others, nor less shame. Soon, every slight, every cruelty, every attempt by the seargent to break down a boy that should be built up had been like a punch to his gut. And he couldn’t stand it. He wouldn’t.

* * *

Kale walked one night to the officer’s barracks to face Kwal. He wore his trousers and dirty shirt, looking the part of miserable recruit. It wasn’t far and the moon was up—a few minute trek through hard-packed sand along the mostly harmless beach, dodging past driftwood, crabs, boys throwing rocks, curfew breaking marines and young lovers.

Compared to the shithole that was the soldier’s version, the officer’s barracks looked palatial. Three times the size with half the occupants, whale-oil lanterns lit the halls in soft light, smooth wood floors clacked under foot instead of crunched, just as often covered in animal hide rugs. Kale didn’t see any quarters, but he guessed the beds had actual padding.

He had to ask a few impatient petty officers, but he found his seargent at a table with other men. Looked like gambling.

“Seargent Kwal. May I speak with you a moment, sir?”

The men all turned but looked back to their game without interest. Kwal sat staring for a long time, then looked away before he spoke.

“What do you want?”

“I need to discuss something, sir. In private, please.”

He didn’t look up. “As you can see, I’m busy.”

“Yes sir. Happy to wait.” Kale found himself a chair.

“This is the officer’s mess, recruit. You can’t wait here.”

Well, if that’s how it’s going to be.

“I’m Prince Ratama this evening, Seargent, not a ‘recruit’. I think the men will suffer me.” He watched with some pleasure as the others at the table stiffened. The dice stopped, a few throats cleared. One looked back at Kale with a forced smile plastered on his face.

“Prince Ratama? I’m Seargent Vea—very pleased to meet you. We all knew you were with us, but Kwal here has greedily kept you hidden away. Welcome.”

Kale nodded, smiled. “Thank you, Seargent. And I’m sorry to interrupt—but could your game handle a short delay? I’ll return Seargent Kwal promptly.”

“Of course. No trouble. Please.” Vea gestured at the chairs.

The three other men rose, all fake smiles, scooping up their winnings or losings. They made their way out towards the back of the room, presumably to their quarters. Kale expected them not to return.

Kwal stared, and his eyes said quite a lot—none of it very nice.

“I apologize for that, but I don’t…”

“Just get on with it.”

Kale shifted in his seat. “Very well. The way you’re treating the recruits—I don’t like it.”

Kwal’s eyebrows raised, but he said nothing.

“It’s excessive. I spend every day with them, and I can see it’s not working. If anything, it’s making them try less hard and do worse than they could otherwise.”

Silence dragged between them for a few moments.

“You’ve become an expert, then? Few months as a recruit and you know my job better than I do? That it?”

Kale didn’t know what to say. Yes?

“Spending your time with the best of the best are you? Or are you just sad because the very worst recruits are suffering? How noble. Well, guess what, you spoiled little brat. Out here in the real world, people fail. People starve. And all kinds of useless idiots aren’t good enough to be sailors or marines. And I don’t want them to be, neither, because one day they’ll just get the rest killed.”

Kale felt the familiar heat rising. “They’re not useless. They just need more direction—better direction. Maybe some fucking encouragement.”

Kwal snorted as if in dismissal, but his neck had flushed. “You arrogant little shit. You think you know better? As if I haven’t been doing this for fifteen fucking years?”

“The same shitty year fifteen times in a row Seargent?”

They both stood up.

“Who the fuck do you think you are, recruit? Prince of the navy, aye? What do you think your father’s man told me when you came here? You think I don’t know you’re to stay ‘til he says otherwise? That I don’t know he wanted you out of his sight? What power do you think you have here, boy?”

The seargent rushed forward, thrusting a hand out to Kale’s throat, the other curling into a fist. He pushed him back to slam against the wall, then spoke slowly.

“I could beat you bloody, and who would you tell? I’m your commanding officer, and you’re a disrespectful, insubordinate recruit. Your own father knows how you are. He’d probably thank me for teaching you some god-cursed manners.”

He probably would, if you could manage it.

Kale could see the pleasure in the seargent’s eyes, and the victory. The fear he felt from knowing the man was right didn’t make him forget why he’d come, but what could he do? The grip on his throat eased a little—Kwal already had what he wanted.

“Get out of my sight. And don’t come in here like this again. Just keep your mouth shut, put your time in, and I’ll let you get out of the navy in one piece. Otherwise…” he shrugged, then slammed his thick fist beside Kale’s head. “I will make life very unpleasant.” He let go, turning his back to walk to the table and collect his things.

Kale considered jumping on the man’s back and wrestling him to the ground. But Kwal was two hundred pounds of angry, drunken marine. The fight would be short, and one-sided, and on slightly shaky legs, he’d walked out into the night.

But that was five months ago. The season had changed. Rangi’s skies roiled with the monsoon, and the great waves surged but missed Sri Kon, and for a week or two at least the islanders kept their thoughts about the evil gods to themselves. Now the sun baked anything uncovered to a bleached, parched misery, and the recruits hid in shade as much as they trained.

Kale had gone back to the barracks that night with Kwal and sat on his bed, mind racing, then took a quill and paper and wrote a letter, asking Thetma to take it to the palace when he could.

“Straight to the hands of Amit of Naran, Brother. If you can’t find him, just come back.”

Thetma went without asking questions. He faced checkpoints and a hundred servant stares and questions about why a sun-darkened recruit was wandering the palace asking for a foreign tutor, but he’d found him. Then he came back and winked with his cock-sure grin and Kale held back the urge to hug him.

Amit visited a few days later, and after Kale explained his predicament, agreed to help at once. “There’s an old saying in my country,” he’d said with a grin, “that there are no rules in war. I’d always thought it silly. There are clearly no rules at all.”

By the time Seargent Kwal had created the teams and given Kale his batch of poor recruits, he and Amit discussed their plans for the months until finals and graduation. It was mostly Amit who constructed the eating habits required, saying it was vital to the athletes and warriors back home. But it was up to Kale to make the boys into a team.

The first few weeks passed in relative peace, until Kwal’s officers started noticing the changes in Kale’s recruits. Then came rationing—smaller portions at meal-times, spooned out by stone-faced cooks. So Amit helped Kale smuggle food into the barracks. They paid a farmer—a friend of Thetma’s family—and they’d bring it in on a wagon at night and tuck it under beds, or in little pits they’d dig up later. When the officers started finding stashes, Amit bribed some of the kitchen staff.

Then came ‘extra duties’. Kale’s crew was assigned any number of excruciatingly slow tasks designed to waste free time—organizing supply rooms or digging ditches, cleaning equipment with inadequate tools. None of this actually helped them with the drills, of course, so Amit hired local boys to help do the work. Kale would sneak them in dressed like navy recruits, and his boys would go and train. None of the officers ever stuck around to watch.

Finally, when petty interference failed, there had been transfers. This was more problematic. Kale ordered his crew from the start to hide their improvement—they were to fail all group and individual drills without exception, or at least barely pass, with the knowledge that only the final mattered. But Titou, unfortunately, was not overly bright, and his enthusiasm got the better of him. While the physical changes in the boys were noticeable anyway, placing tenth in a drill you used to place ninetieth was rather more obvious, and a clear nail to hammer.

Of course all the other boys noticed Kale’s troop’s ‘special treatment’. But it wasn’t until the transfers started that anything was said. Some of the other captains even asked Kale what the hell was going on, and he had a strong urge to tell them. But instead he said he didn’t know—he didn’t trust them, and likely couldn’t—knowing they had too much to lose.

In response to the transfers, Kale made a list of every under-performing boy in the whole batch. He talked to them one by one, which wasn’t hard since most were a bit ostracized by their teams—asking them each to come and train with his men, to more or less become one of them, explaining that what happened to Kalani could very well happen to them, and they might as well get ready now. He told them he was happy to work with them even if they never got transferred, and most agreed. Selling this to his own crew had been harder.

They’d become so used to each other and their feeling of being exclusive and special, they didn’t like the change. But Kale explained that really they were all brothers, too, and if they didn’t train with them, then everything they’d been doing might be for nothing. It was the seargent that was the problem, he said, and together they’d all make him eat shit. Plus, it was a way for the boys who were transferred out to stay with the team. They reluctantly agreed.

And so it went. Week after week, month after month, Kale’s recruits did the bare minimum officially, working harder than anyone unofficially. They put on muscle, rubbed at the bags under their red eyes, picked at their callused hands, and kept to themselves. They failed to meet standards, consistently, in every possible kind of drill. From rowing, to swimming, to tacking, and rigging, they were, by all official measurement, the worst group of recruits the navy had ever seen.

The officers held Kale entirely responsible for this. It was ostensibly the worst possible embarrassment for a prince. Drill after drill they screamed at him for every display of his team’s incompetence, the names, insults and threats growing more creative each week. They’d threaten to take away his position, to kick him out of the navy, to dissolve his entire team. But he knew the Seargent wouldn’t. So he’d just stand there and take it in front of everyone. “Yes, sir, sorry, sir, we’ll do better, sir.” And then early in the morning, or late at night, they’d secretly match the best times in the troop.

But it was only Kale’s leadership that came under question, not his own performance. Kale himself had no need for deception—it wasn’t as if they could transfer him.

He stuffed himself as often as his team, trained as much or more, and he’d gained as much muscle as Fautave. Every moment of the day his time and body allowed he practiced drills—not just to gain knowledge and so teach the others, but to earn their respect.

In all individual events Kale went all out. By the second month, he was placing top twenty-five in most everything. He wasn’t the strongest boy by a stretch and always lost to many others in speed events. Nor did he have any chance against the two dozen fishermen’s sons whenever ropes, navigation, or maneuvers were involved, no matter how much he practiced. But by the third month, he won a long-distance swim.

He hadn’t really planned on winning—and certainly didn’t expect to. But one by one as he pulled himself through the sea, ducking under waves as his chest and limbs burned, the others fell away. He climbed onto the scorching white sand on hands and knees and saw the line of others who’d given up, laying like corpses by their teams. And though it was just the means to an end, a show of sorts to ensure his boy’s respect while he pretended he had all the answers in the world, Kale had to admit that it made him feel, well, good.

They congratulated him with their usual mixture of compliment and insult. They scooped him up out of the water a trembling, exhausted mess, asking him how he did it, his nearly limp arms around the shoulders of Thetma and Fautave. He’d told them the truth, just like he had on the beach their first day, the feeling like a balm on his heart. “I swam for you, brothers. We swam together.”

They’d laughed it off at once, but gone quiet, and he’d felt the hands patting his back as they carried him away like a trophy. It was a good day.

But there were bad days, too, as the transfers continued. One in a month, then one a week. Five boys in total—half the team. Kwal clearly didn’t know who the best or worst were anymore, he’d just pick someone at random, sub them out for a poor performer on another team. Except that was getting harder, too.

Kale’s work with the weaker boys had started catching them up, and most of the swaps would more accurately be described as ‘mediocre’. Then once transferred, to the amusement or confusion of either friends or foes, the recruit’s performance would decrease on Kale’s team to match the rest. The officers seemed baffled.

Kwal’s temper grew shorter every day. He lashed out at captains, at officers, at the weak and strong alike—when he actually spoke to them. He avoided the batch entirely except to supervise drills and give the briefest instruction. His officers dealt with all daily routine, from morning inspections to meal times to curfew. He hadn’t so much as looked at Kale since the night of the officer’s mess.

His absence became as familiar and welcome as most other aspects of navy life, which is why it came as some surprise, two weeks away from the final competition, when the seargent summoned him in the middle of the night. Something Kale and Amit had not expected.

* * *

An officer woke and led him in the dark, and like most nights it stayed hot, and stuffy, the doors of the barracks open to let in the meager breeze.

“Your seargent wishes to speak with you, recruit,” whispered the messenger, and they crossed the beach together in silence, the warm night air of the dry season blowing towards the ocean, the moon only a sliver. The young officer didn’t even carry a torch, and Kale did his best not to trip or stub his toes while his mind raced. They walked along the same white coastline Kale had known all his life, but it seemed suddenly menacing now.

What will the seargent do? Threaten me or the team with some kind of made-up charge? Have us whipped or kicked out of the navy?

Would the king let his son be whipped by someone other than him? Could the seargent get away with beating Kale senseless?

No, he’d look weak, he could only do it himself.

A king couldn’t allow his men to go around abusing his sons, even if it secretly pleased him. If the seargent was going to hurt him, it would be sudden, it would look like an accident, and it would be alone, so the messenger’s presence gave him comfort.

Unless this officer is particularly loyal, or under the seargent’s thumb. Or Kwal could have both the messenger and I attacked on the beach by ‘criminals’ in the middle of the night…

His eyes darted around the beach, but he couldn’t bloody see anything. Coming out at all might have been a mistake. What was the man going to do, drag you out through a hundred boys while you fought him? Damn fool. Now you’ll be knifed on a beach for playing a stupid game against a cruel, drunken bastard.

He nearly turned and ran right there. But then he saw light ahead and his feet moved without instruction, and in another very long minute he stood at the officer’s building, unkilled, while his ‘guide’ opened the door and ushered him in. He walked down the thin hallway to some kind of meeting room and found a large table and a dozen chairs. These were empty, except for Seargent Kwal, seated in uniform on the far side with a pile of documents.

“Thank you, Lieutenant, that will be all.”

“Sir.” The man nodded crisply and left, and Kale and the seargent were alone.

Kwal gestured at a chair. “Good evening, Prince Ratama. I’m sorry for the circumstances, but I wanted to talk before the morning.”

He’s ‘sorry’? Ah, what the hell?

“That’s…alright.”

The man smiled. “First, I have to applaud you. You were right about some of the weaker recruits—they’ve made remarkable improvement, at least with the right leadership.”

Kale blinked and found no words, and the man’s smile turned to a sneer.

“Unfortunately, that leadership is not you.” He pushed some of the papers across the table. “These are the official scores of your team from the past several months. They are, frankly, unacceptable. I don’t recall ever seeing a lower total score, nor such a lengthy period of time with almost no improvement. We tried transferring some recruits around to see if we could change things, but obviously, that failed. It seems even decent recruits would get worse under your command. The officers tell me you made no effort whatsoever.”

Kale didn’t need to look at the scores.

“So, as of tomorrow, we are stripping you of command. We are giving another recruit the opportunity to salvage your mess by replacing you as captain, and you will take his place as just another sailor, on another team. Hopefully, with the burden of command off your shoulders, you will perform well enough to graduate.”

Kale’s face grew hot. Obscene responses formed on his lips.

“I’ve sent word to your father.”

Pleasure touched the seargent’s eyes at Kale’s stillness.

“And while he is disappointed, if not surprised, that his son has no capacity for leadership whatsoever, he agrees with my assessment based on these results. However, you should be very pleased to hear that, yourself excluded, I am re-uniting your original team for the finals, as was my intention all along.”

Kwal’s expression transformed, and he looked suddenly as he had those months ago in the officer’s mess, his hand around Kale’s throat. He leaned forward and Kale could smell the rum on his breath.

“Of course, just so we’re clear. They’re still going to lose, because their new captain is going to make fucking sure of it, even if he has to break their god damned oars. But don’t worry about him, he’ll be kept on next year, as my personal aid, maybe. The rest of your recruits, unfortunately, will be dismissed from the navy. Unlike you. Who will be saved by your placement on a decent team, at the last instant, purely because you are the king’s son, which will be obvious. To everyone.” He leaned back, smile renewed. “The transfers will be communicated to the teams tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know first. Out of…respect, for your former position as captain, and of course your title as prince. Thank you, recruit, that will be all.”

Logic finally returned, but wasn’t useful. The first transfer had obviously not been to help Kale’s team, but Kwal could explain it away. No one would believe the scores were intentional. The officers would surely support Kwal. And what difference would the word of a bunch of sixteen year old boys make? The word of a disfavored son?

“You are dismissed.”

Kale rose and felt his eyes lose focus. He wandered from the barracks with his hands on walls for support.

By all the gods and spirits, no. My boys, my poor boys.

All their efforts, all the struggle, all for nothing. And worse—he’d made them believe, believe that if they just worked hard enough and stayed together they could win and take control of their lives. What greater sin than to give false hope, he thought, and strip it away?

11

The announcement came at breakfast, but Kale already told his boys in their morning practice. They were, to his surprise, largely pleased.

“The old team back together! Just like we’d planned, brothers!”

“We’ll win it all yet, Captain! Never you mind!”

Even the fifteen other recruits who trained with them thought it just. “Won’t matter who the new captain is, these boys’ll give us all hell.”

Kale wanted to tell them about the sabotage, that Kwal planned to destroy them no matter what they said or did, and it wasn’t even about them. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t say it. They’d been so confident he couldn’t bring himself to take that away, not when they had so little time left.

The other captains complained openly. More needless change, more work for them, more interference, and so bloody close to finals. Then, when the officer announced Kale would be losing command and joining Captain Lauaki’s team, to be replaced by recruit Utani, the tent silenced. A few boys smirked, most looked at Kale for his reaction, or at Utani, many looked at the floor. Kale followed Thetma’s advice and spooned some porridge.

Captain Haku, a fifth generation navy son, and very likely the captain with the best team overall, spoke up. He was a man of few words. “Why, sir?”

The officer squinted. “Because the Seargent ordered it, Haku. And because recruit Kale has the lowest performing team of the batch.”

More silence.

“Sorry, sir. But everyone in this room knows that’s a complete load of shit, sir. They’re one of the best. They just hide their scores.”

“We most certainly do not know that, recruit. And if any of you think you’re being treated unfairly, you are free to take it up with the seargent. Otherwise, follow orders, and keep your fucking mouths shut. Is that understood?”

The man waited to see if anyone else felt brave. They did not.

“Then you’ll be happy to hear that tonight, as a reward for your efforts these last several months, is the official debauch.”

Every son of a navy-man smiled, except Haku.

“You will: go out into the town. You will: forget for one evening your bodies are entirely owned by the Navy. You will: drink, eat, and screw anything you’ve legally obtained. And you will do so using the Navy’s coin, as distributed to your captains.”

A few boys cheered.

“But you will not break any of the king’s laws, and you will not embarrass the uniform you’ll be wearing. Gentlemen, if in my hands tomorrow there are reports of violence, rapes, or property damage, I will be blaming some of the people in this room. If there is any hint that one of you is the cause, you will be exiting the Navy with nothing but your dick in your hands, or you will rot in a local prison. Ka?”

“Ka, sir.”

“Delightful. Then you have the rest of the day off. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Well, morningish.” He smiled and made his way through the grimy tent flap, to a few hoots and cheers. Kale tried not to look miserable.

Later, he considered killing Utani, or, at least hurting him so badly he couldn’t compete in two weeks. The seargent could try and disqualify the whole team, he supposed, or give them a new captain who’d do his dirty work, but at least he’d have done something.

Option two was perhaps persuasion, or intimidation. But either way Utani could lie. If Kale confronted him with knowledge of the sabotage plans, perhaps he could convince him not to do it. He could offer gold, which he could maybe steal from the palace, or if Tane helped perhaps a position in court or with the army. But Kale would have no way to be sure. The boy could simply lie, and there’d be no way to stop him later.

He spent the whole day off thinking and getting no closer to an answer, avoiding his friends while he sat on the beach alone, watching the white-caps of breaking waves and stuffing his toes in the sand.

His recruits, at least, were in fine spirits. They primped and preened as the night came closer and Kale returned to the barracks. Some stood before cheap slivers of mirror tracing lines of blue or green inks on their skin, or fussed over the exact resting place of cheap hoop amulets in the open spaces at their collars. Of course they joked and teased each other, and Kale had never heard so many slang words for a woman’s vagina, which he found amusing coming from virgins.

They also argued about which teams Kale and Utani would be going out with. The officers gave the team’s money to Utani—enough for a nice meal and half a dozen cheap drinks for every boy, or a decent prostitute. But the crew informed him, ‘with no hard feelings’, that if he didn’t give it to Kale and keep his mouth shut, he’d have a rough night.

Utani clearly didn’t want to test that threat, but nor did he want to get in trouble for giving away the navy’s money. They shared a tense moment when Fautave stood to his full height and waited with his hand out, anger perhaps for the many months of officer mistreatment ready to boil over and find any target. The room quieted and watched. Kale’s new captain saved them.

“No problem. We’ll stick together.” Captain Lauaki wore a perpetual grin—too small to be a worthy fight for anyone, too sharp and affable to be ignored. His hand clapped on the big boy’s shoulder as if violence hadn’t hung in the air, and just like that, it vanished.

Twenty-odd expendable sons, uniformed and cleaner than they’d been in five months, nearing the end of the tether of their childhood, marched in ragged formation towards the heart of Sri Kon. They were stronger, more confident, and more capable than they’d ever been in their lives, given full permission to enjoy themselves. And all Kale could think was—when do I attack him? And how badly do I hurt him, exactly?

A red streak smeared the sky, as if the hero Rupi stained it again with the sun-beast’s blood, and Kale shivered though the breeze wasn’t cold. The dull ache in his gut usually reserved for his father became a sour pit, swelling at the thought of Utani lying shattered in an alley, but threatening to flood for his boys kicked out of the navy because of him. I should have just left things alone, he thought, I should have just put my time in like Kwal wanted and left them to their own choices.

“Let’s get our dicks wet.”

Kale blinked and Thetma grinned at him like an idiot.

“Planning to piss yourself, Brother?” Big Fautave shook him, his grin just as wide.

Together they walked at the head of the pack from white sand to large, flat rocks, like black turtle-shells in rows. Each had a length of channel in between, wide enough for scout ships and small merchants, and they criss-crossed the Kubi for miles going South around the docks and wharfs. As Kale looked at the stones, he realized, he didn’t know if they were natural, or if his ancestors had placed them.

A small crowd of people formed around the gate between the military district and the city-proper, and greeted the recruits like old friends.

“Welcome, soldiers! Looking for a few drinks, a few girls? My bar is just down the street! Clean! Good prices! And the second round’s free!”

Kale only picked this out because the source resembled a pig-man with a shrill voice. A dozen other vendors shouted and waved and called out their deals. Apparently the navy recruits’ annual ‘debauch’ was an anticipated event.

He understood at once that most officers were regulars and would no doubt have bargains with local owners. He tried to brush it away, thinking this natural and unavoidable, but still, it pissed him off.

“Let’s go further in. I want a place that’s not expecting us.”

“Aye, aye Captain Kale!” came from one of his recruits.

“That’s Brother Kale!” said another, drawing out a few laughs.

The pig-shaped man looked ready to complain, but smiled grotesquely and waved at the next group. There were plenty of fish in the sea, or in this case, green boys with too much coin.

Despite their youth and inexperience, though, they were also big, numerous, and co-ordinated, and quickly parted the small crowd as they marched through in a now natural sync, linking arms or shoulders and pushing heads down to keep from being separated by the throng. Kale held firmly to his not-insignificant bag of coins, glancing at Lauaki as if to say ‘do the same’, but the other captain seemed a step ahead.

Further in the recruits gawked and leered at everything feminine. Kale didn’t even know the name of this part of the city, let alone where he was going—princely circles were somewhat narrow. All he really knew was that, whatever he decided to do about Utani, it would be easier if the troop were earth-shatteringly drunk.

The further they walked, the less vendors loitered and hawked from every corner. Doors stopped being lit by torches and lanterns from above, women stopped waving suggestively from beside, and the buildings retained the natural, dirty sheen of casual life.

Kale stepped closer to Thetma.

“Ah. Don’t be offended.” His friend squinted, but said nothing. “I want the cheapest drinking hole there is. I don’t care how dirty.”

Thetma glared, as if to say ‘why the hell should I know?’, but, well, he did.

“Right this way, princeling.”

The teams followed but had to pit their feet against their senses. By the time they’d arrived at what appeared to be a windowless, abandoned shack, and Thetma said ‘this is it’, the boys started to complain.

“Do you want cheap drinks and decent whores?” Kale shouted over them, “Or do you want fancy drinks and rotten cocks?”

They quieted and lined up behind Thetma, who had to tug hard at the door before it swung open, revealing the strong odor of stale beer, old piss, and vomit.

“Smells a little like the barracks,” said some asshole, correctly.

“Stick to the harder stuff, fellas,” came the naive voice of reason.

Kale didn’t see much inside. A few dilapidated tables and stools, a dozen people strewn about, genderless in the dim light. The mood became instant alarm at the parade of uniforms, especially from the bartender.

“We don’t want any trouble,” Kale said, displaying his honesty in cleaned, mostly whole coin on the counter. “We just want to drink, then we’re off.”

The thick man grunted and the coin disappeared. He started filling mugs, and some of the boys made requests, or asked what they had, but everyone got the same beer out of the same keg, and no one got a response.

“Well, gents. To the fucking Navy, aye?” Fautave had the right of it.

“To the fucking Navy!” Boomed the others as they drank, doing their best not to taste.

Kale leaned over the bar but kept an eye on Utani to make sure he was drinking. “You might as well start pouring another round.”

The man looked like he’d rather punch Kale in the face, but he reached under the counter for more dirty-looking mugs.

* * *

Turned out they had no out-house. Kale’s hands sweat because it meant Utani would have to walk into the alley—a dark, dirty alley, in one of the poorest places in Sri Kon, where no one would be surprised that a young soldier took a beating.

The recruits drank several rounds, their faces souring less and less at the god-awful beer. Some started ‘making friends’ with the locals, plopping down at tables without invitation, but it seemed harmless enough. A few even declared the place wasn’t so bad—a sure sign they were getting drunk.

Locals and soon some of the boys stumbled in and out of a small side-door, ducking their heads or whacking them on the top beam with a curse, and Kale decided his best chance to get Utani alone and in the dark had already arrived. He pretended to drink his beer. He made small talk, and he waited.

The two teams weren’t true competitors, so they got along well enough. Lauaki’s boy’s were middle of the pack, and Kale’s near the bottom, or the top, depending on who you asked. Most drank and mingled, their conversation on the next place and the rest of the money or what life would be like after training. Every one of them expected stripes in the King’s Marines in the next few weeks, then a crash-course on actual combat, then chasing inferior pirates on four seas, and chasing girls at every port and harbor.

Kale kept a smile on his face and his mostly un-drunk beer to his lips, trying to be left alone to watch Utani.

“You’ve been nursing that awhile, Captain—keep up.”

Lauaki tipped back his third or maybe fourth mug and handed Kale another, eyes already red and glassy.

Kale nodded politely and took it, draining the rest from his own, but he kept silent.

“Look, I’ll just be out with it. I wanted to say, before I lost the chance—I respect what you’ve done with some of the boys. The weaker recruits, I mean.”

Kale jerked his eyes to the smaller boy, not sure what to say.

“Afa, in particular.” Lauaki cleared his throat. “He’s a friend of mine. And he didn’t say much, but I could see the difference you and your crew made for him. You didn’t have to do that.”

Kale understood immediately Afa was more than Lauaki’s friend. And of course he hadn’t helped out of the warmth of his heart, but he was truly pleased to do did it anyway. “We’re all brothers, Captain. I believe that.” He raised his mug in toast.

Lauaki smiled and tapped it with his own. “And, listen, you don’t have to tell me. But, what the hell has been going on? Why did your team do so poorly in drills? Just so the other teams wouldn’t know your times? Or was it a ‘fuck you’ to the officers? Is that why they kept transferring boys out?”

Kale had no idea how to explain, and probably shouldn’t.

“It pleased the seargent to play a little game with us, probably because he’s never had a prince to kick around. Doesn’t matter, now, I suppose.”

Lauaki’s lips tightened, but Kale saw Utani moving towards the door to the alley. “Excuse me.” He gripped Lauaki’s shoulder and left his beer on the bar, a few long strides closing the distance to the door. He looked around and didn’t see anyone else coming. If it was empty outside, there’d be no better chance.

He stepped out into the now-cooler night air and saw Utani leaning against the building across, his body facing away, his hips hunched forward. He was humming something, swaying back and forth. Not a care in the fucking world, eh traitor?

Kale stared into the dark for watchers or bystanders or drunks. He saw piles of garbage, sand and dirt, and smelled stale urine. But they looked alone. Only a few feet to his right a palm tree loomed over the roof, and Kale wondered if he could use a coconut as a weapon, then realized they’d all been stripped anyway. It’ll be my hands then, if it’s anything. His guts tingled and he wiped his palms on his shirt. Hit his head against the wall first.

He meant to move, but only stood watching. How much do I have to hurt him? What will the navy do?

Utani would be expected only to sit at the front of the boat and beat a drum. He’d need to have a broken an arm, at least, maybe both, and even then he could yell commands. Might need to break his jaw, too. But would they even let him in the water with two broken arms?

Utani started shaking himself off, the movement sparking something primal in Kale that sent him charging forward, fists clenched. It’s him, right now, he thought, or a whole ruined team.

The new captain turned before he’d even pulled his pants up, his eyes locking onto Kale’s. It felt like time stopped, and Utani licked his lips as he recognized who it was.

“Look, I…I’m…sorry…I said I didn’t want it. I still don’t.”

Kale grit his teeth and closed the gap, grabbing Utani by his collar and lifting him, smashing him back against the wall.

“And making sure my recruits fail? Are you sorry about that?”

The boy’s eyes widened. He still held the waistline of his pants, and hadn’t attempted to resist.

“I…I…”

Kale thrashed him against the brick. “Don’t you fucking lie to me. I know what the seargent told you.”

His pupils swiped from side to side searching Kale’s. “What? I’ve…I’ve never talked to the seargent. Ever!”

“Well who told you about the transfer?”

“Ren! It was the lieutenant! He just said I was captain now, that was it! Not another word!”

“Liar.”

“Shit. Shit. I swear. I don’t know why. He didn’t say anything else! I never asked. I never wanted it.”

Kale stared hard at the boy’s terrified eyes and felt doubt. It was exactly what he’d feared. It seemed like the truth, but how could he know? Why didn’t I just bloody break his arms?

But then Utani looked half drunk. He’d been laughing with the crew, and hadn’t seemed worried at all. Maybe the seargent tricked me.

The thought seemed plausible once found. Maybe he knew there was nothing else he could do and wanted me to hurt Utani and get in trouble over nothing.

He met the boy’s eyes again.

“Tell me you’re going to do everything you can to help my team win that final.”

Vigorous nodding. “Yes, yes, please I swear it. My father will disown me if I don’t make it, I’ll never get married, my life will be over. I want to win, too.”

Kale watched him and still saw nothing—no trace of deception or shame. “If anyone comes to you and tells you to do something wrong, you’ll come and talk to me.”

“Yes, I will, I promise.”

“And Utabi,” Kale leaned forward until their foreheads touched, and closed his eyes, “if one of my men gets hurt in the next two weeks, or the boat falls apart in the final, or an oar breaks, I’ll find you. Do you understand? I’m a prince, Utabi, and no matter what else happens, I will find you.”

The boy paled and nodded, seemingly speechless.

Kale let him go and backed away, clenching his hands to stop their shaking. I meant to hurt him, I meant to beat a maybe innocent teenager half to death. He turned and struggled to open the sticky door, eyes unfocused and grip feeling weak. The people in the bar felt far away, their laughter and voices a small disturbance to a lucid dream.

There’s no chance the other boys turn on their brothers. They should be safe.

They would check their gear a dozen times the day of the race, check the boat before they launched. Things might just be alright, he thought, whacking his head absently on the door-beam to the cheers of a few beam-watchers.

The knowledge of what he was about to do to Utabi seemed nothing compared to the feeling that his boys were safe—that their lives wouldn’t be destroyed because of him. He found his warmish, sour beer and drank without tasting.

Thetma’s lean arm curled around his shoulders and clinked his cup, nearly knocking it out of his hand. “Feeling better, Princeling?”

Kale blinked himself back to reality and smiled. Of course his friend probably saw him go outside and just meant better ‘from the piss’, but nevermind.

“Much.” He glanced around. “Now let’s get the hell out of here. Somewhere a little…cleaner. We’ve got a lot of coin to spend.”

Thetma winked, then spoke more loudly than necessary. “Well, I’m not sure what a dirty, low-brow farmer like me would know about spending money. Best ask one of Lauaki’s boys.”

Kale laughed and raised his voice just as loud. “Good point. Bunch of spoiled rich boys, the whole lot of them.”

Thetma shook his head in mock disgust. “Lazy Lauaki and his coddled crew. Well at least they can find us a decent bar, I’m sure.”

Lauaki and a few of his men groaned, probably with relief. The captain chugged back his beer with genuine disgust. “About bloody time. Let’s go, lads. Leave the fleas.”

The teams slammed their mugs down on the bar, winking at the bartender and employing such witticisms as ‘thanks for the cup of urine, friend!’. A few ruffled the hair of a drunk local, patting him on the back much harder than seemed friendly or pleasant.

On any other night, Kale might have reprimanded them, but not now. For the first time since this god cursed mess started, he was officially celebrating.

* * *

Every step took them towards richer sections of the city. Their goal was the Winding Square, so named because the streets started and stopped at buildings made before stricter city laws—old, mixed-wood shacks and huts twined with clay-brick houses and windowed shops, tarps and thatching turned to multi-incline roofs of red and green tiles, and drunks, homeless and laborers mingled with merchants and entertainers, tourists and couples. To the locals it didn’t seem strange.

Tonight was Matohi in Sri Kon—the first day of the shrinking moon: a time to remember the shortness of life, and love, and enjoy the light while you still could. Basically, a time to party. The children of wealthy parents bought sweets from street-vendors; local women bought rice and fish for their families evening meals; foreigners gaped at the beauty of the city.

Kale just tried to relax and stop noticing. It felt like they’d spent a long time in that shithole Thetma now called ‘Toru’s’, but the moon bathed all in a pale, lovely glow, and wealth and beauty seemed everywhere on the streets. Old, clean-looking men with younger women in silk dresses in a hundred colors walked and laughed, leaving mixed scents of perfume; King’s Watch patrolled in spotless uniform smiling like tour-guides; and the sounds of music and night-trade echoed in every direction.

A group of the recruits from Lauaki’s team, hunched together whispering now for some time, approached Kale looking more than ever like boys.

“Captain, ah, Brother?”

He lifted an eyebrow.

“We were wondering, since you’re a…well, a prince and all, if you could, if you wanted, get us into Lights and Sky.”

Ah, we’re in the real world. I’m an Alaku again.

The Lights and Sky was a gathering spot for nobles, Orang Kaya, and rich merchants. Rumors about its ‘entertainment’ ranged from bawdy to ludicrous, though Kale doubted most of it was true. What he expected were unaffordable prices, and a lot of important people scrutinizing his drunken recruits.

“I’ve never actually been. They probably wouldn’t even believe I am a prince. And even if they let us in, we couldn’t afford to drink in there, let alone enjoy any ‘entertainment’.”

The boys literally pouted. Kale rolled his eyes.

“We can try. But I wouldn’t expect much.”

Word spread around the group, and even Thetma seized Kale and shook him by the shoulders, pat him vigorously on the back, and gave general encouragement along the way. “You got this, Brother. Give ‘em some of that princely charm!”

What bloody princely charm, he thought, and any other night would tell them to go bugger themselves. But they’ve earned this, and maybe I have too.

They picked their way through the winding streets drawing stares, getting lost and asking once or twice for directions. All at once it seemed the curves ended in a gap of space, a lone building like an island in an urban sea. Intricate, carved tiling covered roofs on several levels, though Kale saw ‘sky-wells’ in a patchwork pattern, no doubt so visitors could star-gaze from within. He heard soft string music that reminded him of a courtly dance—though the voice seemed a woman’s, not a man’s, and his mouth watered as the scent of roasting pork and spice grew stronger. The entrance doors faced south, of course—which the Pyu considered lucky—painted images of fierce gods roaring or pointing spears from every door and window to ward off evil spirits. Kale’s eyes lingered on the large looking men standing by those doors. Here goes, he thought. Be polite, but confident.

“Loa, gentlemen. Good evening.” He refrained from touching his forehead, and they stared at the small army of boys in uniform without blinking.

“I’m Prince Ratama. Alaku, that is. And I’d like to bring these soldiers in. A small reward for their service.” He displayed his winningest smile.

The guards didn’t even glance at each other, though one of them put a hand in his pocket, and Kale decided they’d rather kill him.

“My prince!” A girl perhaps slightly older called from an open-air window, then waved ecstatically. He thought he recognized the face, but otherwise drew a blank, and just held his smile. Her face disappeared for a moment before the doors opened and a long, fluffy black dress came twirling out attached.

“How lovely to see you here!” She looked down at his uniform, then noticed all the recruits waiting awkwardly behind. “And such company. Oh dear I’m sorry you probably don’t even remember me.”

Court. She’d been at court. She was…no, that’s all he had. He felt his face going red.

“I’m Meli. Of the Sanhera. Oh no don’t worry, we didn’t officially meet, I’m a friend of Lani’s. So I sort of feel like we have.”

A nobleman’s daughter, then. Even Kale knew the name Sanhera. Her family’s patriarch was one of those rare men who seemed respected by most, yet indicated no ambition. He had land and kin across most of the islands, and Farahi did not use his name politely.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you officially, Meli. My friends here were hoping to go inside. I don’t suppose you could let the master know? Maybe put a good word for us?”

She looked confused, but had a pretty, genuine smile, and Kale returned it. It all came out in a rush.

“Oh no! That’s why I saw you! My father, well my uncle, really, what I mean is my family pretty much owns the place. And I like to greet the guests.”

She fluttered her painted eyes and swished the hem of her dress dramatically, her long, dark hair brushing across her face, her whole body bouncing pleasantly from the effort. The infectious smile remained.

“In other words—come right this way, my prince.” She moved in and took his arm as if to be escorted, and though she was short and much smaller than him, tugged him inescapably forward. He gestured back for the boys to follow. The guards opened the doors smiling, faces changed as if they’d believed all the while Kale was their prince, and never intended to crack his skull.

Traces of cooking meat and spice became a wave of heat Kale could almost taste. Fires, grills, and food-covered counters busy with staff cluttered the open spaces inside, with more out in a courtyard of lush grass, umbrellas and palm trees. People seemed tucked into every small corner. Multiple staircases connected the ground to balconies, and musicians played from one of them, a beautiful, black-skinned foreigner singing from the front in a wisp of silk. Some of the boys gawked.

Meli led them off to a side hall, pushing through layers of red drapes to an unoccupied room. Large wooden tables and dozens of chairs lined the spotless floor, and she extended a hand, bowing deeply, then leaned closer to Kale and whispered as the recruits stepped inside. “I’ll have food and drinks brought in. I thought you’d be more comfortable here—out there you might be a bit…on display.”

He agreed completely, and felt instant gratitude, but also embarrassment.

“Meli—ah, we’re using the Navy’s coin. And there’s only so much of it, so I think…”

She put her hand on his forearm and shook her head. “It’s on the house tonight, my lord.”

He felt the blush rise and tried to complain, but her pretty head shake commanded him.

“When my father learns one of the Alaku princes has finally honored us, not to mention brought a troop of the king’s navy in uniform, well, you’ll be lucky if that’s all you get. Now, sit and enjoy yourself.”

She gently elbowed his side, then kissed her hand and blew it at the recruits. “Have fun, boys.” She winked, and then disappeared.

“I’d have more fun if she came back,” said someone. They all laughed.

* * *

A small army of servers replaced her, and they brought a feast. It started with fruits—coconuts, pineapples, dragon-fruit—all sliced, or crushed into glasses, or drizzled with sauces; then they ate yams, taro, rice, and arrowroot bowls coupled with a dozen kinds of sweet, sour, or bitter soups. Pork, beef, and chicken followed in more cuts and varieties than even Kale knew, and some of the recruits asked him what they were eating, but he shrugged, not wanting to seem above them in this or anything. Wine, beer and rum, of course, came as fast as they could drink it.

Servers ranged in age but all were women, smartly dressed in black or white cloth, hair neatly trimmed and oiled. Fortunately, if the crude talk and lewd glances of the recruits bothered them, they didn’t show it, and the boys kept their hands to themselves.

It went on for hours, the teams louder and friendlier by the moment. Every new round required a toast to something disgusting, embarrassing, or somewhere in the realm of true. “To the smell of Malu’s shits.” Laughter. “To Kahil’s animal grunts!” Louder.

“To the sounds of Kale wrestling his princely eel!” said Thetma, and half the boys sprayed beer.

Kale, warmed by the drink, stood to demonstrate. “It’s a dangerous beast, brothers!” He aimed his hips around the table, thrusting as boys covered faces in pretend terror.

He stood and grabbed Thetma by the neck, jerking his crotch at him, then noticed a girl in the doorway, curtain lifted as she peered through. It was Lani.

She had her plucked eyebrows raised, color on her cheeks and lips—though it was hard to tell if this was powder or embarrassment, especially in the dim light. Her hair looked longer than he remembered, now dropping nearly to her waist though worked at and fluffy. She wore plain and single-dyed cloth of brown or maybe grey, and a cheap-looking cloak with a hood.

Kale cleared his throat as the noise died down. “Excuse me, gentlemen, that reminds me.” He pointed at the exit as if he meant to relieve himself, then walked mostly straight to the hall, pushing aside the curtain to stand beside her in the narrow corridor. He wanted to hug her, but didn’t, and put a hand back behind his neck, trying not to notice the very small space between them.

“What, ah, what are you doing here?” Good, yes, charming. Sober up you damn idiot.

“Oh.” Her eyes went to the floor but came back to meet him. “Meli sent for me. I…wanted to see you.”

Polite, but confident. He stuck a thumb back towards the dining hall. “And here I am. Got a little more than you bargained for, I think.”

She smiled. There it is. May the mercy of the Enlightened protect me. She didn’t say anything, so he just kept talking.

“I should probably charge some sort of fee.”

Her smile held, but with some visible effort. “Can we sit somewhere?”

He chastised himself and looked around. There were plenty of clean, beautiful tables that looked carved from huge oak, so he walked out and took one, remembering at the very last second to pull out her chair. “So, what’s new at the palace?”

“New? Nothing much.” Her hands found a spoon and turned it over as if it were interesting, her eyes on it or the tablecloth. “Tane’s turned twenty-three. Still no betrothal announcements. Your other brothers are always ‘overseeing’ something as usual, I hardly ever speak with them.”

Kale had completely forgotten his brother’s birthday—or even exactly how old he was—and now felt like an ass. “What about you?”

She shrugged. “Same as always.. But I’m…” she dropped the spoon and met his eyes, “well I’ll be seventeen in the next moon, Kale.”

His chest tugged towards his stomach. “Oh.”

“So I don’t know when, exactly, but I’ll have my candle ceremony soon, and then…well then I’ll be going back home. To my father, I mean.”

Her leaving had always been a thing like death—inevitable and known, but not to be considered for long. “Right. Of course. Right.”

“The last time we saw each other…I said some things, things I had no right to say, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I’ll be really far away, and I won’t…really see you. And, I’m sorry.” Her eyes glistened, and she looked at a wall, but her face and voice stayed composed. As usual his tongue felt useless.

“Look. Lani—don’t.” It summed his thoughts up, but probably didn’t make much sense. He recalled the things he said to his boys on the beach and after his race—the truth of the words, and the relief in saying them. She didn’t move or speak, so he kept going. “You were right. Well, mostly right. And…I needed to hear it. So, thanks, actually.” Now it was her turn to look lost for words. He took a deep breath.

“It’s a long story, but, I’ve made good friends here. I guess I…this sounds stupid…I feel like I can actually make a difference. I mean, who knows what the future holds, but, I can help people. My people. I know that now. Maybe there’s work I can do with my father, or my brothers. Maybe I can change how sailors are chosen or trained, or, well…there’s a lot I can do, with a bit of time and effort.”

Her eyes seemed wetter as he talked, and she was smiling, but when he mentioned his father the smile faded. “Your Father…Kale, he talked to a man from the training program.”

Son of a bitch wasn’t lying about that, apparently. “That would be Seargent Kwal.”

She raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘how’d you know?’

“He told me.”

She looked surprised, then embarrassed. “Kale he said your team….hadn’t been doing very well, and so they were going to move you to another unit or something and…”

“There you bloody are! Holy shit how much does she cost?” Fautave sat heavily in Kale’s lap as he slumped his arm over his shoulders, staring with undisguised lust at Lani. He reeked like beer. She flicked her eyes from his head to toes and back.

“Much more than you can afford, recruit.”

A grin spread across his face. “Please tell me she’s your sister, Captain.”

Lani looked at Kale as she spoke. “No, I’m not his sister.”

Fautave caught the look and grinned, then sighed with drama. “Well, I’ll leave her for you anyway, brother…you could use the humility.” He winked, patting Kale’s back hard, then hopped up to wander towards a washroom.

“Sorry about that.” Kale tried not to linger on Lani’s look, but as he watched Fautave stumble off he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Quite alright, Captain. But I thought…well I understood that you weren’t a captain anymore.”

He shrugged. “A small thing. My team will do just fine.” She crumpled the table cloth with her hands now, and he enjoyed for once feeling confident while she felt awkward.

“I…saw the scores. Your team looked pretty dreadful, no offence.”

He smiled, and could tell it was throwing her off. “Come with me.”

He stood and put out his hand as her eyes rolled around in confusion. “Come meet my team, then you can tell me if they’re a bunch of boys worried about failure.” His smile widened as she blushed. “Besides, when Fautave comes back, he’s absolutely going to tell them you’re a prostitute, and we might as well deal with that now.”

Her lips opened to protest, but she let out a breath and took his hand.

He threw back the drapes and held her arm like an escort to a ball, giving her no more time to think. “Gentlemen. I’d like to introduce you to Princess Lani Kapule, daughter of the King of Nong Ming Tong.”

A few eager faces turned—probably hoping the ‘princess’ was about to throw her cloak off and dance on the table. But when that didn’t happen they all rose to their feet, some of them bowing like idiots, others standing at attention.

She clutched his arm, perhaps nervously, but it didn’t show. She smiled and said “At ease, soldiers.”

Kale paused to look about the room. “I explained that I fully expect my recruits to win the final competition. Princess Lani wanted to meet you and wish you good luck. Ka?”

“Ka, sir.” They spoke together, and saluted in unison. If they’d thrown Lani at all, she didn’t show it, and spoke up clearly.

“A fine display, gentlemen, now that I’ve seen you, I have no doubts you’ll succeed. Thank you for indulging me. I’ll be cheering for you from the stands. Please enjoy your night.”

They reverted to mismatched salutes and bows, boys again, and she waved and half-pushed Kale back out into the hallway. The moment they’d moved from sight they heard some soldiers say ‘Saw her first’, and ‘No chance, she’s mine.’

Lani flushed, but giggled and covered her mouth. More importantly, she still held his arms in the narrow corridor when she turned and whispered “thank you very much for that, sir.” But she was smiling, and awfully close to him, and it was impossible not to smell her, to look into her green eyes, to feel her warm, slender arm under the thin cloth.

“Good grief what is the navy feeding you,” she looked down, pinching at the muscle on his arms. “I guess I couldn’t really tell under the uniform—oh sorry I’m wrinkling you,” she brushed at his sleeve.

He heard himself saying “It’s fine,” as he almost fell forward. She looked up and he could feel her breath on his face. Her lips were open. His chest was moving against hers.

“Kale…” he felt memory tug from the way she said it, but never mind. He kissed her.

Her hands splayed in panic, gripping his biceps, but her mouth stayed open, and her lips moved with his. His tongue brushed hers and her little moan lit him on fire. It was everything he could do not to crush her against the wall, to put his hands on her in ways he knew he shouldn’t. So he just kept kissing, and she didn’t stop him. Her lips were soft, wet, and warm, but her whole body stayed rigid, and he finally pulled back. Her soft skin flushed, her eyes stayed closed, and she was panting. She licked her lips, and he stared at them.

“You know we can’t,” she said, opening her eyes.

“I’m a fool, remember? I don’t know anything.”

She smiled, but her eyes shone with moisture again. “It’s just going to make it harder.”

His thoughts went to the thing pressing against his pants, but he was pretty sure that’s not what she meant. He felt the pull forward again. “I don’t care.”

Her hands came up to his chest to stop him, but didn’t push, and he moved an arm behind her head as a pillow and did his best not to crush her. Whatever she might say, or what her hands did, her mouth took him in again. She made another sound. A glorious sound, and the weak push at his chest was a feeble, token resistance, and they both knew it. His other hand dropped to roam her back and hip and bottom, and he pulled her closer until even that token resistance slipped and her arms went around him. He pushed his tongue into her mouth with wild, inexperienced abandon, no idea what he was doing, and he didn’t care. The feel of her was everything he ever imagined. And he’d imagined it a lot.

By the time he pulled back for air he was panting with her.

“You know I can’t have sex with you,” she said.

He almost said “I don’t know anything” again, but stood silent save for his breathing.

“I’ll have to marry a prince someday, and I’ll…well, I’ll have to be a virgin.”

“I’m a prince,” he said, and she raised an eyebrow, lips closing in a frown. Damn all the gods to hell I want her even when she’s frowning.

“Not an important prince. And we’re not married.”

“I’m still an Alaku. And you’re not that important, either, Princess.”

She opened her mouth in mock offence, and it sucked him forward again, but this time she held him back for real, and for the first time since they’d moved into the hall Kale paid some attention to his surroundings. He noticed Fautave standing at the entrance, eating some kind of balled meat on a stick.

“Oh. Don’t mind me, Captain.” He took another bite. “This is better than theater.”

Kale growled and felt Lani shrinking away in his arms. “You’ve never been to a theater, you penniless son of a whore.”

Fautave gave his best wounded-puppy look, then squeezed with intentional awkwardness past Kale in the foot of space left, patting his bottom on the way by as he said ‘Oh excuse me, sir, very sorry’.

Lani disconnected entirely when he’d gone by. She pulled up her hood, straightening out her shirt and pants. “I should get back to the palace,” she said, and Kale’s chest dropped to his stomach.

“No, you should stay awhile and have a drink with me. Maybe a few drinks.”

She looked into his eyes, and he knew she wanted to say yes. “No, I shouldn’t. Good luck in your finals, Prince Ratama. I wasn’t lying before, I’ll be there watching.”

Finals? “That’s almost half a moon away.”

“I’m aware.”

“I’m not going to see you again before that?”

She gave a ‘you presume too much if you thought you would’ kind of look. “Why would you? I’ve already apologized.”

Kale smiled through the hurt. Cut your losses, friend, you’ve already had more than you ever thought possible. “The greatest apology I’ve ever received, Princess, I thank you.”

She smiled, too, but the tears crept back, and nearly made him choke.

“Goodbye Kale-che.” Goodbye, my Kale.

He stood straight and bowed in honor of her title, hoping when she thought of him it would always be like this—kissing in a hallway when they were alone, him confident and engaged with life and in uniform, and not some wastrel princeling. I’m yours, he thought, but you’re not mine, and you never will be.

He wanted to say a hundred things—wanted to tell her that she was the best thing in a lonely childhood, that knowing her taught him what wanting things was. But only one thing seemed to make sense, so he focused on his tone and tried to speak with the most love and least misery he could muster.

“Goodbye, Princess.”

12

After Lani left, he’d taken a moment to collect himself, then pushed back the drapes to the cheers of the room. He sat back down beside Thetma and threw an arm over him. “Brother,” his tone caused the farmer’s son to cringe, “the royal eel’s going to be out tonight. And it will be aggressive.”

His friend finished his drink.

The rest of the evening—at least at the Lights and Sky—passed in relatively subdued drunkenness. Kale made sure to find Meli and thank her before he left, both for the free evening, and for sending for Lani. She gave her charming smile, this time with a bit of added mischief, and wished him goodnight.

A majority of the recruits took the un-spent money and found whorehouses, but they all made it back to the barracks without much fanfare.

The days until finals flew by, though for Kale the nights dragged while he lay in bed thinking about Lani. In the day he trained with his new team, occasionally in awe at how much easier the simple act of rowing in unison with ten other human beings had become since the start. Utani trained with his boys. The whole troop got tired of listening to increasingly exaggerated stories of whorehouse prowess, and a few scuffles erupted between the top teams, but otherwise things seemed to go smoothly. Utani appeared to be doing his best—though he used a drum and the boys didn’t like it—the officers were all business, and the seargent never even showed his face.

Kale and his crew didn’t do any extra training. He told them it was important they rest their bodies, and their victory or defeat would no longer be determined in practice.

He’d met with them all only once, the morning after the debauch, hungover and still-drunk recruits blinking in the sunlight with grins plastered on faces.

“Whatever happens in the finals,” he’d said, choking back a lump, “it’s been my honor to work with you. You’ve pushed yourselves further and longer than I could ever have imagined, and you’ve never let your brothers down. Whatever the future holds, you’ve done your families and your city proud. And you’ve made me proud, too. I salute you. Ka?”

“Ka, sir!”

“Good luck, brothers. Train with your teams now, and don’t get lazy.” They’d smiled at that. Many thanked him.

And though he told himself again and again that everything was fine, that the uneasy feeling in his gut was only nerves and the natural consequence of caring as much as he did, he couldn’t seem to relax. Every day the feeling grew in the spaces of his mind, in the absence of the seargent, in the smooth completion of drills and practices and in the almost pleasant moods of the officers.

I’m acting like Farahi, he thought with horror, I see shadows and knives in the dark where there are none and live in fear.

But the realization made no difference, and gave no comfort. No matter what he said to himself, no matter how much he exercised or joked with Thetma and the others, by the morning of the finals he felt panicked. He felt it when he woke from a restless sleep, during a breakfast he had no appetite for, and while both his true and adoptive teams checked their gear and carried it to Sulu Bay, whistling sea songs and teasing each other as if their fate weren’t hours away. It got worse when he saw the thousands of citizens gathering on the shore to watch.

Sulu had the largest port in Pyu. Waters here sunk low even in the dry season, enough for the deepest hulls to moor without caution, and the shore stretched flat and largely unflooded except when the great waves came. Forts, warehouses, breakwaters and quays dotted the coast, and hundreds of docks bustled with trade ships daily. Sri Kon was both the largest and most Northern island, the closest land between the Isles and the continent, and thus the unofficial hub for trade. On any given day it thrummed with humanity and reeked of sea life, sailors from every other island rushing to load or offload goods, warehouse merchants buying or selling at open-air auctions, dock-side vendors screaming for attention.

Today though, half the water had been blocked off by a column of navy ships lashed in a line from one small cape to another, all to make room for a full-team row. The teams would line up side-by-side next to the navy ships, a signal would sound, and they’d dash in a straight path to the other side. The sun would barely move from start to finish, and by the end one team would be declared ‘Head of the Bay’, with some special honor handed out by the king, and one team would be out of the navy.

The boys laughed and joked with each other when they headed out from the barracks, but now at Sulu all were quiet. Kale walked and checked his gear with the team, but he couldn’t help but stare at Utani. He’s nervous, sweaty. But then that isn’t strange—of course he’s nervous. He’s under pressure and leading a team. I shouldn’t worry.

Kale felt his own sweaty nerves leaking, too, but only for his boys. He knew his own fate already—his last little trick, which had taken several nights of hard persuasion. But let’s see what you do, Kwal. Let’s just bloody see.

He looked across the bay at the huddled crowd, and at the teams as they settled into their boats, waves rolling them calmly in the gentle wind, the water sparkling blue and clear in the high sun. Oars thumped against railings and each other as the boys checked one last time for cracks or flaws, then laid them across the lip of the catamaran’s hull. Officers yelled and pointed, explaining the signal and how they’d handle a false start and to shut up and get in your god damn boats. My father will be at the finishing line. And my brothers, and Kikay, and Amit. And Lani.

Kale’s palms and armpits sweat, but he breathed and gripped the pommels of the oars, his ring of calluses snugly holding the wood, the feeling so familiar and yet so strange, like the memory of another life.

Despite all the struggle and training and fear, somehow, it felt like the moment itself would never arrive, the challenge never come, but here it was, and Kale had nothing left to do. He felt a comfortable numbness at last in the muscles of his arms and legs and the breath in his lungs. He felt the warmth of the mid-day sun against his face and closed his eyes, then he heard Lauaki saying ‘steady lads, you know what to do,’ as his team thumped their feet or rested foreheads against palms.

It was true—he did. It felt like swimming alone, his team on the shore or locked in their own struggles, the whole world for a moment gone until his titles and riches fell away, until even the clash against the will of others ended, and only the sea remained. There is nothing left to do, but row.

* * *

Lani sat quietly and comfortably beside the king. She waved and smiled at children in the crowd, doing her best to look regal, confident, and friendly. She was, after all, the unofficial representative of her people.

On her other side, Aunt Kikay did the same, fanning herself with crisp paper though the day wasn’t overly hot. “Fara-che, which side will Kale be on?” She’d asked this before, and perhaps half a dozen other questions in the last few minutes.

“Second from the right, Sister, as you know very well.”

“Oh yes, second from the right.” She squinted and leaned forward. “Isn’t this exciting?” She tugged at Lani’s sleeve like a little girl.

“Yes, very exciting,” said the king, his voice monotone.

Incense burned in a ring around the wooden stands to combat the stink of the harbor, but it was losing. The candles only made it smell like smoky, rotten fish, and smoky, stale sweat, mixed with spice and perfume and rum. People sat or stood all along the beach—families, couples, nobles and commoners. Men, women and children walked through the crowd selling everything from rice-paste to jewelry, sweet tea to religious carvings. Soldiers circled Farahi’s stand in uniform, and likely more circled out of it.

Tane, Manu and Rani sat a little ways away, and Lani glanced at them without turning her head, reminded how similar they all looked. Each sat tall and erect, well-built frames draped in blue and silver cloth and silk, dark complexions serious. They had the thick eyebrows, thin lips, and strong noses of most island men. They’re all slightly bigger, less intense-looking versions of their father, she thought without much interest, smiling as she pictured the differences in Kale.

Even women were jealous of his brows and lashes, his bright, round eyes, his full lips and fine cheekbones. No wonder he’s the least favorite—there’s hardly a trace of his father.

“Doesn’t my brother look handsome dressed like a king instead of an evil sorcerer, Lani-che?”

She looked to be polite, but he did, actually. Farahi had discarded his usual dyed robes for wrapping silks in Alaku blue and silver like his sons; the contrast of his metallic circlet and thick black hair drew eyes. Of course he had the same masculine features as his sons, and every now and then Lani remembered King Farahi was not yet forty, and that he could easily take young new wives.

“Very handsome, Aunty.”

“Mmm,” said the king, not looking at her. “Be wary of my sister’s compliments, Princess. They often serve her best.”

Lani smiled and nodded politely, both because he was a king, and because it was true. Kikay had enthralled her since she was a little girl—she was everything Lani’s own mother was not. In one moment shy and helpless, in the next bold and charming, Kikay had the complete confidence of the king, and was both loved and feared by servants, commoners, Orang Kaya and nobility. She’d never re-married when her first husband died—she never had to—and she had secret lovers, Lani knew, or at least one. Oh to be powerful and free like her—what else could anyone want?

Lani’s situation was rather different. Firstly, her brother was not the king of Sri Kon, and in fact she could hardly remember her real family, except her mother who sometimes visited. She hadn’t seen the others since she was a little girl. Not even once.

The country of her birth bustled on without her, a hundred miles away across the sea—a place filled with farmers and hill people all ruled by a single family. My family, she thought with some pride. It had been thus for hundreds of years.

She was here only to strengthen the peace between Sri Kon and Nong Ming Tong because conflict hurt both kingdoms. She was here to maybe one day marry an Alaku, she was sure, though both peoples looked and acted different enough to hate the other. But which one?

Almost certainly it would be Tane. Why else hadn’t he been found a wife, unless to wait for Lani to come of age and be his first? If true, this would not please the nobles of either land. The heir to the throne marrying a foreigner? His sons carrying the blood of farmer-kings in their veins?

Or else Farahi meant to marry her himself. Their sons would be minor princes with weak claims to the throne, and it would be a less meaningful union, but it would keep the peace for as long as it stood.

Neither man appealed to Lani. Farahi treated his wives like slaves, just like her own father—at least from what her mother said. They were paraded out on formal occasions to look noble, perhaps smiling and bowing before being sent back to their padded prisons. The Island king seemed to have little use for women except his sister, and once his wives had borne him sons they were all but discarded. Rumors even whispered he’d killed one, and his concubine—Kale’s mother, though of course the official story was sickness. Regardless he spoke to his servants more than his women. He trusted them with nothing, expected nothing except obedience and silence. If he felt lust or love it was impossible to tell.

Tane seemed no different, if perhaps a bit more charming about it. Like father like son, she thought, with a mental shrug. Beautiful girls from all over Pyu threw themselves at the handsome heir, but even as a child he ignored them. He rarely drank, never raged or despaired, and all his silky warmth seemed to Lani like a mask he wore when the moment suited him. He would be exactly the man his father made him—loyal, obedient, and restrained, and even if Lani somehow seduced him, melted his Alaku resolve, she would never be ‘first’ in his heart, not while the father lived. And Farahi was not old.

Then there is Kale.

To her great annoyance, her stomach fluttered at the thought of him. Kale was kind, and sincere. Beautiful. She sighed. He had a quiet passion she found most appealing, an inner strength that would perhaps one day come out. And maybe is already, she thought, as she pictured him in uniform with his recruits, their love for him as clear as sunshine. Kale seemed somehow immune to the influences of his father, and though perhaps he would not make a very good king, he would make a wonderful husband. A loving, caring husband, she thought. And I would rather be a princess of nothing with a man who loves me and my children, than a queen of Pyu bound to a tyrant who doesn’t.

The union would still serve her people, and it would serve her too. We could live on the coast in a modest home—he would work with the navy, and we could explore the seas together and raise children, mostly free from the responsibility of our families. A wonderful fantasy. Maybe even possible. But the boy must become a man, and quickly. He must demonstrate to his father he is ready to marry the daughter of a foreign power.

A horn blasted out from across the bay, startling her, and several more answered down the line of navy ships. The crowd of men near the beach shouted and flailed their hands, and it took Lani a moment to realize these were gamblers. She rolled her eyes. If a thing were possible and unlikely, these islanders bet their shoes on it. The curse of sailors, she supposed.

“Finally,” muttered the king, as if he couldn’t wait for it all to be over. Lani looked at him though and could see something that wasn’t often there. He’s excited, she decided, or at least interested. His short neck stretched slightly as he strained to see the boats, his left hand gripped on the arm of his chair, his pupils darting back and forth.

She heard the faint echo of drums as the boys splashed and cut through the still water of the bay, but even from her high angle Lani couldn’t yet tell who was leading. She watched the boat on the second to right, wondering which of the others was Kale’s former crew. Some navy men on the stands near Farahi turned and said ‘good crop this year’, and bobbed their heads and pointed though Lani had no idea at what.

In what felt like no time at all, one of the large, tied-up navy ships launched fireworks—the signal for the quarter mark. Most boats still looked even, but by the time another ship signaled fireworks at the half-way mark, five teams seemed to be racing for first, and five competing not to be last.

Farahi seemed less interested now, though Kikay still fanned herself furiously, delicate feet pulled back under her chair.

Then one of the lead boats lurched to the side. As the crowd gasped, oars flailed wildly, the boat rocking back and forth. Then it tipped, violently spilling its recruits into the water, and Lani only blinked in confusion, then looked at the stone face of Farahi. The gamblers went crazy.

* * *

With his back facing forward, Kale heard the nightmare before he saw it. Voices raised in alarm, then splashing. He heard Lauaki scream ‘keep rowing!’ and so he did, but those next few moments lasted a lifetime, endless and almost quiet, and soon enough he saw his boys. They thrashed in the water trying to right their upturned boat, chasing after their oars, and his whole body turned heavy and rigid. All he could think was I have failed. I have failed them utterly.

He prayed to the Enlightened, the half-god Rupi, then Tamenga, the selfish god of men. He prayed to all of them. Please, not this, I’ll do anything, suffer anything, please don’t punish them, please just punish me.

“Cease rowing! Captains, halt!” The voice rang out over the waves. Captain Haku stood and silenced the drums, piercing the sound of distant cheers and the wind—the very essence of command. Thumping stopped and the oars whacked into place across the fasteners and rails, all eyes turned back to face him.

“Team Utani—is there a fucking problem?”

Thetma shouted from the water. “We seem to have tipped our boat, sir.”

“I can fucking see that. Can you right it and continue?”

“Yes, sir. But we’ll be without a captain.”

A hundred pairs of eyes watched Utani swimming towards the shore.

“Is that a problem?”

“Not bloody likely, sir.”

Haku snorted. “Captains—line up with their boat. We start again, on my order.”

Captains nodded and shouted to obey, as if Haku held some special authority he surely did not. ‘You heard him, line up!’ The recruits sculled and reversed and splashed their way through the now foamy water. Thetma and the others swarmed their boats like ants and flipped it, holding it while they took turns and flopped back in with wet oars, some bailing water with their hands.

Kale followed Lauaki’s lead with the rest of the recruits in a daze. It felt like forever, though surely it was only moments. Haku had seen and decided in the blink of an eye. He was the answer to a desperate prayer. The hero Rupi re-born. A god amongst men.

“Ready?” shouted Haku.

“Ka, sir!” replied a hundred recruits.

“Then fucking row!” Nine drums beat at a pace that matched Kale’s heart, and Thetma shouted “Heave!”

* * *

Lani watched the confusion like everyone else, but she also watched Farahi. Here sat the Sorcerer-King, the man who commoners said saw the future—and he didn’t bat an eye when the boat tipped into the water, but they crinkled when the others waited.

“Oh!” Kikay gasped and shifted on her cushion, one hand tightening around Lani’s arm. “What’s happening!” the hand squeezed, her eyes never straying from the boats.

The boys lined up and shouted things the crowd couldn’t hear, and then the race started anew. The drums beat, but not as before, like a steady jog or a soldier’s march. Now, with so much less of the bay to cover and the small rest in the water, the drum-beats hammered in a sprint.

The half-way marker fired its shot again almost instantly. Then the three-quarters. As before five boats raced for first and five simply not to be last, then the leading boats spread until the race was four. Then three. Then two. One had no drummer, and ten men instead of eleven.

They reached the shallow water of the beach, both leaders side-by-side. Then they struck sand at nearly full speed, and the crowd below started screaming. Lani had no idea who won, her eyes failing to follow it all as the next three chased beside.

She looked up to the back five and saw these moved even closer, Kale’s boat amongst them. They looked…even. Exactly even.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

The drums pounded precisely together, the boys rowed at the exact same time, and the crowd still screamed in excitement, though many glanced at each other and pointed.

The beach became moments away. Still the boys looked matched, exactly matched, the watchers and gamblers at the front pointing and arguing and looking to each other as if for explanation. Then the boats hit sand in unison, perfectly. Lani realized her hands covered her mouth. She felt Kikay’s nails digging into her arm, and she watched Kale jump out of his boat.

He raced across the beach towards his old team, who all shouted and leapt at each other like madmen. He threw himself into them, boys catching him as they tumbled into the sand. They tried to lift him but he fought them and spoke, and they made a line and walked to the other lead team, standing at attention and saluting with their fists until the other team’s captain lifted his hand. He spoke, and both teams walked forward and embraced one by one, then lifted their arms in the air and faced the crowd, shouting.

Officers spread out across the beach to sort it out. The gamblers argued—red-faced bookies handing out money and trying to calm the crowd.

And for a moment, a fleeting little moment, Lani thought she saw the king smile.

“I’d better go play my part,” he said, face returned to stone. “Excuse me, ladies.”

* * *

Kale clutched at Thetma, words failing him, the boys still cheering as their officers arrived.

“You cheeky…beautiful…bastards. Your boat’s full of god cursed water!”

Fautave laughed and flexed as the others crowded him, then he put his forehead to Kale’s, and the others circled and linked arms to do the same as if in communal prayer.

“My brothers.” He could do no more than whisper, holding back tears of relief and joy.

Then Officer Ren was grabbing captains in the bottom five teams and screaming ‘What in the hells was that?’ Others asked more reasonably why they stopped the race, where Captain Utani was, and what the hell did they think they were doing out there anyway? Then the king arrived.

Recruits and officers both saluted and went quiet, finding the beach suddenly interesting.

“I believe I’m supposed to be congratulating one team as Head of the Bay, and consoling another team on their defeat. Who should I be speaking to?”

No one spoke, including Kale, who locked his eyes on a discarded shell.

“Where is the seargent in charge of this troop?”

Kwal stepped out from the pack of officers but said nothing.

“Explain.”

The man’s face turned even more red than usual by the second, and he sweat visibly. “The winning team abandoned their captain in the water. Also, there…appears to be a five-way tie for last place.” Here he paused, and when the king didn’t react added, “I’m very sorry, my lord. We’ll sort this out shortly.”

“No, I will sort it out now, Seargent.”

Kwal bowed his bald head and retreated, and the king took a few steps closer to Kale’s recruits.

“Explain yourselves.”

Kale reminded himself he had yet to apologize for his behavior in the palace. No one spoke for several heartbeats though and he breathed and readied himself to step forward. Thetma saved him.

“Our captain intentionally tipped our boat, my lord. We righted it. The other teams stopped for us, so we continued the race.”

Farahi waited long enough to cause discomfort.

“Why should he do that? And where is he now?”

“I…don’t know, my lord. He swam towards the Western shore.”

Here the king didn’t pause, looking at his officers. “Seargent Kwal. As soon as we finish here, take some men and go find him.” His eyes came back. “What is your name, Recruit?”

“Thetma, my lord.”

“Thank you, Thetma. For now your team will elect a new captain. I’ll give you a moment.”

The farmer-turned-sailor glanced back at the other boys, who shifted their feet but nodded without looking.

“Beg your pardon, sir, my lord. We don’t need a moment. We’d…like our original captain, sir. Though he is on another team. Recruit Kale. Your son, that is, Prince Ratama.”

“And why is that, Thetma? Was he not transferred away?”

Kale felt a flush rising at this—that his friend should be so placed on the spot, that the boys should be questioned at all. Does it really matter why, Father? Are you so shocked they should want this? What difference does it make?

Thetma glanced briefly at the others, then once at Kale. “He’s our captain either way, my lord, wherever they put him.” He snapped his mouth shut and half-balled his fists, then relaxed.

Farahi took his time, giving Kale time to swallow the lump. “As you wish.” The king quirked a brow. “Recruit Ratama—will you leave your team to accept this honor?”

Kale fought to keep his words even. “Yes, my king, of course.”

“Then I pronounce you and your team Head of the Bay for this year. Your families will be sent word and a reward of twenty-five crowns. And you will present yourselves in uniform at the palace this evening for a celebration in your honor. Congratulations.”

The boys bowed or saluted as ridiculously as they had for Lani, their eyes wide and mouths hung open. The crowns alone were worth several months of marine salary.

“Now, the five-way tie. I will say this once, and once only. It is a crime to lie to your liege lord. The punishment is unpleasant enough to break grown men, nevermind boys, so, tell me—why did your teams tie?” He pointed at Lauaki, who paled. “Speak.”

“We…” The shorter boy looked briefly up at Kale, who clenched his jaw and nodded. “We…did not wish any of our brothers to go home in shame, my lord. We thought….we thought a tie might prevent that.”

Silence lingered as the king stared, and every man on the beach from recruit to seargent seemed to shift or swallow, hunch or scratch. Then Farahi laughed, and laughed alone.

“Very clever.”

The recruits and officers cringed, as if waiting for the blow, and Kale tried to remember the last time he’d heard the sound of his father’s laughter.

“I will not allow such clever soldiers to be punished, and so your tactic is successful.” The king looked over his officers. “Gentlemen—I fear we shall need a new system of separating wheat from chaff as the word spreads. Perhaps the tradition was a poor one. I’ll await your solution.”

He smiled as he addressed the whole gathering. “Congratulations. You are the first troop in my lifetime that will see tomorrow’s dawn without a loss. I hope you are as unstoppable against our enemies. I applaud you.”

He raised his arms up high and started clapping, turning back towards the crowd that certainly hadn’t heard any of what was said. But even children knew what to do when they saw the king applaud. It started in the stands, rippling down the beaches around the bay and into the tied ships full of marines, until the roar of thousands of men and women cheering seemed to envelop the whole world. The king motioned at the boys to come forward and wave.

“Stand and be recognized.”

Kale walked beside his brothers, seeing tears in their eyes, and perhaps disbelief—tears for a pride they’d never known. The victory of expendable sons. The triumph of their lives. And it was Kale’s, too.

13

The officers returned without Utani. He’d never been popular amongst the recruits, so no one gave him much further thought, including Kale. He would eventually be found, they said, maybe whipped, and certainly kicked out of the navy, which seemed punishment enough.

Instead the boys spent their energy preparing for the palace party. They asked Kale any number of questions about who would be there and what it would be like, and mostly he assured them their chances of bedding noblewomen remained low, and unwise in any case.

He also found Haku before they left, thanking him again for what he’d done on the water, telling him that he’d make sure everyone knew what really happened. This went poorly.

“My time as a recruit has been a shameful one, Prince Ratama. Your team won as fairly as possible, given the circumstances. There’s nothing else to say.”

Kale tried to convey the depth of his thanks but failed. He left the stern navy son alone to his thoughts, eventually returning with his team for the long walk to the palace.

To his surprise and the discontent of all, Seargent Kwal himself escorted them, looking as clean as Kale had ever seen him, but still smelling like rum. The man seemed perfectly at ease, though the recruits marched behind him in silence, all but spitting at his feet.

Saluting palace guards welcomed them at the gate, and a servant Kale didn’t recognize led them through a side courtyard into a minor dining hall filled with people.

Navy officers and their wives drank around huge oak tables, but Kale could see palace guests and the king’s family as well. Then he saw Lani.

She’d tied white flowers in her long, dark hair, and colored her lips as red as her silk wrappings. Only the skin on her arms and calves showed, but the thin dress displayed enough curve to easily distract him.

He looked back to see half the room clapping, the rest rising politely to do the same. He watched Lani’s shape as she stood, her little struggle with her dress, her smile as she found him. He managed to tear his eyes away to take in the officers and raise a hand in thanks, smiling while he nodded his head, hoping the recruits did the same behind him. The servants took them to their pre-arranged spots, the recruits distributed with the officers.

Kale assumed the captain had the honor of sitting with the king, but in his case they made an exception—not that the king actually sat at his table anyway. Instead they sat him with Admiral Mahen and his family—a nobleman whose ancestors had been military commanders for as long as Sri Kon had records of such things. He was perhaps fifty, lean and healthy-looking despite greying, vanishing hair. He introduced Kale to his wife, two sons, and two daughters, all of whom were high-ranking officers in the navy, or married to one.

But they showed themselves as personable, friendly people at once, their irreverence of the navy putting Kale at ease as the men poked fun at each other’s careers, courage, and sexual prowess in turns. The admiral’s duty clearly involved asking about Kale’s future and providing some guidance on a navy career, but he did so deftly, and Kale found he liked the man. By the time the second course arrived, and the admiral’s eldest son gave thanks to the mercy of the Enlightened that this year had no speeches, the servant Eka tapped on Kale’s shoulder.

“Your father would like to see you, my prince. Please make your excuses and follow me.”

He did as he was asked and stood, his whole body tingling at the thought of facing Farahi again. He expects an apology, he realized. And why not give it? The thought of the two guards being whipped still brought heat to his face. But was this anger at his father, or shame for his own part? And did it even matter? What choice did he actually have? He hoped the man who carried out the punishment had at least been lenient, and felt guilt he hadn’t been there to watch and suffer at least that with them.

Lost in his own thoughts, he followed Eka’s loping strides to one of many small audience chambers he’d never entered before. Eka stopped with his hand on the door’s handle, looking to Kale for the nod to proceed. Deep breaths, you can do this.

Kale nodded and stepped past the guards into a plain, grey-stone room without windows or adornments. Seargent Kwal waited at attention on a blue carpet that stretched to a raised podium. Farahi sat behind it, very still, like a hawk perched and watching a prey-filled sea. Kale stepped beside Kwal and heard the door close behind. They stood in silence.

“Report.” The king stared, his tone terrifyingly subdued.

“My men and I swept the bay’s coast, my lord, and found no trace of the boy. Nor had anyone we spoke to seen him.”

Farahi’s face showed nothing. “I find that strange, Seargent, for I have already heard a quite different report that indicates you did find the boy. What am I to make of it?”

Kwal’s eyebrows lowered, his bulbous nose turning a deeper red. “I…don’t know, my lord, I don’t understand.”

“Do you understand the punishment for lying to your king?” He asked as if only curious. “The punishment for murder?”

The man blinked and his thick neck turned as red as his face. He looked at the king as if he’d been stabbed. “My lord, who has made such an accusation?”

Farahi’s tone harshened. “The loyalty of your accuser is not in question, Seargent. Your loyalty is. Do you deny that you, alone, found Utani—or indeed, met with him alone at a pre-arranged location?”

“Of course I deny it. It’s a lie.”

Kale stood perfectly still, trying and failing to keep up with this, sensing no deception at all in the drunken Seargent.

“Then I can also assume you deny, upon meeting him, you strangled him to death, tied an iron weight to his corpse, and pushed it into the bay?”

Kwal looked horrified. “Yes I deny it!”

“Very well. Then I hereby charge you not only with the willful disruption of navy training and procedure, and of lying to your king, but the mindful murder of recruit Utani. You will be imprisoned for the remainder of this life. May you learn more grace there for the next.”

Kwal’s pupils shifted and shifted as if they’d find some answer. “My lord, despite…my past…I have served you faithfully all my life…” He looked at Kale as if in revelation, then with an accusing glare. He reached for something at his belt, and Kale had time only to raise his hands before Eka appeared from behind, his long fingers curled around some blueish metal, angles sparkling in the lantern light.

Eka jerked forward hard and pushed the blade into Kwal’s back. It burst out his chest with the smallest of sounds, and Eka whispered something too quiet to hear, his face turned in so Kale couldn’t see his expression. Then he jerked and twisted the knife and let him go, and Kwal fell struggling to the ground. He looked at Eka with horror, touching his bloody chest while he held himself to a sit. Then he wheezed and lay flat, body twitching at the effort to breathe, hands feeling uselessly where the blade went through. He closed his eyes, and stilled, and never once cried out.

The ‘servant’ set to wrapping Kwal at once in the carpet, and Kale looked to his father but couldn’t speak.

“I had him followed, my son. He murdered the boy to cover up his guilt. The blame is his, and his alone.”

Kale turned back to the corpse of Seargent Kwal, his mind still trying to catch up to reality. He managed only, “Yes, Father.”

“You’ve done well, Kale. Now, and in the last several months. Master Asan kept me informed of your struggles. A cunning mind will benefit you, always, as will seeking the counsel of wise men. I’ve seen enough from your recruits to recognize their loyalty. Inspiring followers to love is often a luxury a king cannot afford, but then you are not a king. This is a useful talent, and it is my hope you will use it in the years to come to assist your brother in his rule.”

Kale swallowed and maybe nodded mutely. The dead body being wrapped like a fish was shocking enough, but…did my father just compliment me?

“You must not speak of what happened in this room. You will say I brought you here to speak to you alone.” Here the king shrugged. “I sent the seargent to find Utani—a duty from which he will obviously not return. Eventually we will pay benefits to his remaining family as befits a soldier of his station, and I’ll have someone find out if Utani has family, and we’ll arrange something. The truth here will benefit no one.”

Kale’s mind blanked except to think ‘he had a father, he told me that’, but he didn’t say so. Far away he had questions like ‘why would Kwal do this’, and ‘why did he hate me so much’, but in any case Farahi wouldn’t tell him, and he needed more time to think. “Yes, Father,” he said, then remembered why he’d thought he came. “I…wanted to apologize. For the last time we spoke. I was…”

The king waved a hand in dismissal, a slight smile on his face. “I was a young man once. I know that between that day and this, to you it is an eternity. Another life. Is it not so?”

Kale closed his mouth. It was exactly right. He meant to apologize without hatred or shame, feeling almost no connection to the boy who’d thrown a tantrum. His father nodded.

“I treated you like a boy, but you’re nearly a man. Go now, sit and eat and drink with the men. Do not forget this night, or what brought us here,” he pointed at the neatly-wrapped corpse, “but remember who you are. Remember your responsibilities. It’s why I sent for you and Kwal both. Tomorrow we will discuss your future.”

* * *

Kale wandered out of his father’s presence in a daze. Should I be horrified, or happy? Can a person be both?

Knowing now what the seargent did, he felt no pity for the man. But poor Utani, he should have come to me.

The Seargent’s motivations still made little sense, except perhaps royal hatred. Could pettiness and cruelty become murder? The simple, escalating bitterness of a man whose life didn’t go as planned? Kale wondered what the boy was promised for his betrayal, or if threats had been enough.

He frowned because he felt himself a good judge of character, a good spotter of lies and liars, earned by a life of royal sycophants. But both Utani and Kwal managed to fool him. A lesson you’d best remember, he thought, and what the hell is Eka doing stabbing men to death like he’s serving appetizers?

The walk back towards the dining hall helped clear his head, a cool night breeze drying the sweat from his brow. His leather shoes slapped against paving stone paths around the palace exterior, and something about Kwal’s death reminded him he was young, alive, and a prince.

His future seemed to stretch before him now like an open field, when before it felt like a jail cell. He had a great deal to learn yet about himself, and his father—about being a prince, and about the world, but he felt eager now to begin. He suddenly had the favor of the king; as always he loved his brother, the young, generous heir who loved him back; there seemed no danger at all to Pyu’s century-old peace and prosperity, meaning Kale’s life would stay free from war. And—he was in love.

He smiled as he thought of Lani—then remembered what his brother told him in court. You may just be unimportant enough to pick your own wife. Was that true? With his father pleased, thinking on his future, was now the time?

His heart hammered in his chest and his pace increased, a few servants bowing then hopping away as he all but ran down the garden-path. Why the hell can’t I marry her? She wants me, too, doesn’t she?

King Kapule had something like twenty children, and Lani was nowhere near the oldest—surely she was as unimportant as he was. Surely the union would help keep their family’s peace and make no difference to anyone.

Conversation droned like honeybees from the dining hall, a sound Kale normally found exhausting but now pulled him forward. He leaned panting against the cold stone outer wall and poked his head out to see Lani. She faced his direction, chatting away with Aunt Kikay, posture straight, dress…filled out, appearance perfection except a few strands of hair she kept brushing from her face.

He waited till she spotted him. She blinked in surprise and glanced at Kikay, who seemed oblivious, then quirked an eyebrow as if to say ‘what are you doing?’

Kale beckoned with a hand and hid back behind the wall, tapping his foot and pushing off from the stone, fighting the urge to look again. By the time he heard footsteps he couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot, then she rounded the corner and moved out of sight of the hall, her head facing away as she checked back, then turning towards him as she said ‘What’s going…”

He used one hand to hold her face, wrapping the other arm around her as he pushed her back against the wall. He stopped an inch from her lips, wanting her surprised, but aware. “I missed you,” he said, and closed the gap as her lips parted. She didn’t resist, and tasted like the wine she’d been drinking, her sweet scent pushing deep at his mind like a memory of youth.

“I missed you, too,” she said, when he gave her a moment to breathe, then pushed against her again.

It felt like plunging into a warm bath, her skin sliding against his as smooth as the thin dress. He lifted her to sit on the stone ledge of the wall, then pushed his way between her legs and dropped his arms to hold them apart. She gasped, and he saw her raised nipples through the small veil of silk. He kissed her neck, sliding his hands up her thighs, keenly aware now her dress had pulled up. He moved back enough to get a hand slid inside.

“Not here,” she said, panting, breasts rising and falling with every breath.

His mind raced for somewhere secluded. “Come with me.” He let her drop off the ledge and held out his hand, but she didn’t take it. “I just want to talk,” he promised, and she raised a correctly skeptical eyebrow. “Alright, I want to talk first, and then you can do whatever you want.”

She took her moment, but she also took his hand.

He led her out into the moonlit courtyard to soft grass and rows of statues, man-sized carvings of the gods, or the Enlightened, or Alaku ancestors, all placed between immaculate rows of flowers kept by palace gardeners.

Kale scanned and saw no servants, only a hundred shrouded green canopies of shrub and shadow to hide from prying eyes. He led her behind a wide, smiling king who was maybe his great-great grandfather, still holding her hand as they stopped. He faced her, and she looked down shyly. He put a hand to her chin and raised it, holding till she met his eyes.

“I’ve made peace with my father. Perhaps even gained his favor.”

Her smile was kind, polite, as if she didn’t truly believe but wished to please him. Somehow though, he could see a thrill hidden there.

“Tomorrow he wishes to discuss my future, like men. And…” Kale realized the enormity of what he was about to say, “and I want it to include you. Because…I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time, I think. I want to marry you.”

She watched him with her foreign green pools, the hint of excitement he’d seen before creeping over her face. Then she threw her arms around his shoulders and squeezed his neck, and he held her with her head on his chest. “I…think I love you too,” she whispered.

He pulled her back enough to bend down and kiss her, no awkwardness, no struggle, as if they were old lovers and not teenage virgins. Her lips molded against his, lapping like warm waves as he wondered is it always like this? So easy, so wordless?

Then he was pushing her to the ground, her long hair spreading over the grass, her dress pulling up until it barely covered any part of her slender legs. He struggled against the prison of his uniform, the thick cloth trapping the swell between his legs, preventing him from feeling every part of her skin. He leaned back and yanked at the clasps of the shirt, throwing it off then dropping an arm between her legs as he came back down, sliding his forearm as close to her thighs as he dared. His eyes locked on the thin red underclothes showing from beneath her dress, the delicate strings on either side of her hips. Bow knots, very easily undone, interrupted his last six months of navy training.

“We can’t have sex,” Lani said, with some finality, though she wiggled against his forearm, making him bold enough to kiss her neck and trail down to her chest.

“Noted.” He moved lower, using his other hand to pull the silk wrapping down then kiss or lick the skin as it was exposed. He uncovered her breasts, putting the nipples in his mouth in turns as she gasped, and he kept his forearm wiggling back and forth between her legs. But he wanted more, much more.

He moved lower as if compelled, tracing kisses over the bunched up silk on her stomach, past her belly-button to the flat skin of her hips. He pulled at the strings, his other hand caressing the silk that covered the soft, damp flesh beneath.

Her eyes closed, but she managed a ‘Kale…’ in a last-ditch, feeble protest.

“I know,” he said, “trust me,” not really trusting himself, then slid away the final barrier.

He put his mouth down to the small patch of soft hair, tracing it with his tongue, rubbing a finger over her increasing wetness and moving his mouth to meet it. He didn’t know what to do, so he tried everything. If she moaned he kept going, if she stopped he backed off, and soon she arched her back and pushed against him. He could feel her holding her breath as she writhed, nearly losing control himself as he held her down and kept going, as she covered her mouth with her hands and cried out anyway.

She finally stilled with a few last spasms and groans as Kale kept touching. When she opened her eyes to look at him, they looked glazed, as if she were drunk. She smiled shyly, covering one eye and biting at her nails with the other hand. “I can’t believe I let you do that.”

He shrugged and smiled, mind present yet far away, feeling hardly himself as he touched her, running his hands over her legs and stomach.

She closed her eyes again and jerked, reaching down with her hands to hold his head. “Stop, stop, I’m so…sensitive.” Her voice seemed to melt his spine. He didn’t want to stop, but he did, dutifully draping the silk back across and expertly tying the strings into the same condition he’d found them.

“All done.” He grinned, then helped her sit up, pulling the dress-folds back down her hips as he stood. He took her hands, but she let go and put them on his stomach, looking up at him from her knees as she said “not quite”, then worked at his belt.

He felt his hands helping with the waist-line of the complicated navy trousers, but his mind seemed blank.

She made an ‘oh’ sound as the painful length of him finally freed, but she didn’t hesitate. With his pants still around his ankles, the whole world became wet and warm. He watched her taking him into her mouth, her small firm breasts still exposed below, a hundred dreams suddenly real. She had one hand on him while she slid her lips back and forth, the other resting on his hip. He took it and held on, using his other to hold her hair.

He felt the slow-build that worked its way from his toes to his guts, the warmth in his face. He’d planned to warn her, or do something, but it came uncalled, and he moaned at the firm hold of Lani’s lips as he shuddered again and again. If it bothered her, she didn’t show it. She just kept moving, if slowly, licking and teasing, every touch sending another tremor through his body so intense he could hardly stand it.

“See,” she said as she pulled back long enough to smile, “sensitive.”

He grinned, closing his eyes to savor the moment, amused that even now he thought of Thetma’s advice.

“Now we’re done,” she said, and he dropped to his knees and pushed against her, feeling her softness against his flesh for the first time. He held her in his arms and kissed her, reaching down to help pull her dress back up, sighing as she covered herself properly, eyes still scanning lecherously.

“Your turn,” she said.

“I just had my turn,” he teased, but slid back into his grass-stained uniform as she rolled her eyes.

She was still adjusting her clothes and hair and complaining about a lack of a mirror when he pulled her back in.

“We’re doing that again,” he said, with as much authority as he could muster, pressing his lips to hers, pushing his tongue into her mouth as if to mark his territory. Her hands grasped inside his open shirt, then she sighed and shook her head, as if he were a spoiled child.

“Once we’re married, I suppose.” She tried to turn away, but he held her small body and her eyes as he kissed her again.

“Once we’re married, I intend to be inside every part of you. Own every part. The rest of my life.”

She matched his look. “I want that,” she kissed him, intense as he was, “I want you.” Then she pulled away, transforming instantly somehow to the carefree girl he couldn’t stop watching. “But not until we’re married.” She grinned. “Now how do I look?”

“Beautiful.”

She spun around holding what little of the dress moved.

“No but really, can I go back? Will I be obvious?” He gave her a twice-over and saw no difference.

“I think you’ll be safe.”

She bowed at the shoulders, turning to go inside, but stopped and looked back at him. “See you tomorrow?”

He felt instant warmth, as if the sun rose behind her and the whole world glowed for him alone.

“Tomorrow,” he said, and they smiled like the lovers they now were—the lovers Kale had only ever watched with envy. The garden and grass smelled more beautiful than he could remember, the night air perfect and cool as it brushed his skin, and Lani disappeared around the corner.

* * *

Kale didn’t normally pay his morning erection much attention. Normally he thought of it as a burden, another fact of life like sweat and skin-oil, but this morning he smiled as he thought perhaps soon, when he was married, it might serve some useful purpose.

After he’d left the otherwise uneventful banquet the night before, he’d slept at the palace, and now closed his eyes to take in the warm scent of baking, the soft light and softer sheets, and the bird-songs coming through his windows.

He couldn’t name the birds by sound or sight, and suddenly that annoyed him. All my life they’ve sung for me and I don’t know what they’re called. He would ask his tedious tutors, perhaps, but not today. Today I have things to do.

He smiled and threw his seemingly-always-sore legs off the bed, hurling away the sheet, then spotted a comfortable robe already set out. Oh no you don’t, not anymore.

He walked to the wardrobe and picked out dark-colored, crisp-cloth pants and a dark blue silk shirt, then combed his hair and tied it back with silver thread. He shaved—though if he was honest there wasn’t much point—then strapped on polished leather shoes, inspecting them for blemishes, and hoping his father would approve. He put a hand on the carved stair-rail and went down two at a time. So early in the morning only grey-haired cousins would be eating—far down the table, cluttered together gossiping as usual.

Kale greeted them with bows politely, though his rank meant he didn’t have to, then dished his plate and spooned it in like a soldier, taking a little time to chew when he remembered where he was.

‘Father,’ he practiced in his mind, ‘as you know, Lani and I grew up together, and we’re very fond of each other…’ Bloody twenty-seven hells of course he knows, so why point it out. ‘Father, you said I was nearly a man, and as a man, I wish to choose a wife.’ Oh don’t throw his words in his face, just tell him what you want.

He jumped as Eka lowered a tray with squeezed juice. “Good morning, Prince Ratama. Your father would like to see you as soon as you’re ready—he’s in his study.”

Everyone knew Farahi’s study because unlike other rooms it rarely moved for ‘safety’. On another day Kale might have considered his father’s hypocrisy of disturbing his own life the least, but now he only mumbled a greeting to Eka and took the porcelain cup.

An image of the man with his hand inside Kwal’s back leapt to his mind, then another of the seargent’s corpse wrapped and sliced like a cut of pork, blood dripping through the fabric. He’d been so pre-occupied with Lani and his father he hadn’t much thought of the dangerous ‘servant’. You’re another riddle I’ll soon solve, he thought, but not today. And since his mental ‘practice’ seemed utterly useless, he drank down the juice in three gulps and left the room.

Lani climbed down the stairs. She wore some kind of half-dress, half-pajamas, her hair tousled and drooping down her face and neck in coils. She wiped at one eye with a fist like a child, and he wanted nothing more than to scoop her up, carry her back to her room, and fall into bed with her. Thinking it might one day be reality made it impossible not to smile.

She smiled back and stopped, bowing. “Good morning, Prince Ratama.”

“Good morning, Princess.” He bowed with equal formality.

“Finished eating already?”

“I am. And en route to see my father.”

Her sleepy eyes widened and she came down the stone on slippered feet, glancing around. “Already? Why so early?”

“Because he asked for me. Hopefully it means he’s eager for the discussion.”

She moved closer, fiddling with his shirt, looking him over and touching at his hair. He desperately wanted to kiss her, and the way she looked at him made it clear he wasn’t subtle. She stroked his arm with her fingers and pursed her lips, whispered “Good luck,’ and after another glance for watchers, went to her toes to kiss him chastely on the lips.

He pulled her in for a proper job, and she didn’t fight it, lips moving around his tongue. Then she slapped his arm and pulled her head back with a look of disapproval.

“Get going.” She pushed away to walk past him, and he let her, but turned and slapped her bottom hard with a grin. Her frown stayed, but a gleam in her eye sucked the blood to his loins, and he tried to think of something else as he walked.

Farahi’s ‘study’ was more accurately called a ‘keep’, surrounded by walls and guards in the very heart of the palace. Kale left the current royal wing and walked out to the courtyard, breathing cool mist and wondering why he’d always wasted mornings as a child. Clouds and fog kept the view somewhat dull and wet, but he’d always loved the rain. It made him feel small, somehow, and insignificant, but contentedly so.

He looked up as he walked and wondered how he’d always failed to notice the palace’s beauty. Even in the gloom his eyes drew to the blue tiled balconies, gold-plated images of the Enlightened carved into marble walls, the brightness of water lilies and temple flowers, glowvines and dove tails. Palace gardeners grew a hundred breeds of such life along ponds and pathways, cut and arranged them along railings and windows so the almost drab palace blues and greys mixed with a dozen shades of pink, red and white. He realized the palace itself seemed almost made of Farahi and Kikay—harsh practicality garbed in dramatic color. Perhaps you can’t have the beauty, he thought, without the stone.

He wiped moisture from his face as he entered the inner fortress. The halls here shrouded sight, gloomy and poorly lit with a raised portcullis along every unmarked hall, unmarked doors leading to a warrens-like barracks of bodyguards and messengers. He squinted and kept close to the walls, disturbed by the sounds of his loud footsteps in the silence, probing his memory for the right paths. After several wrong turns and a few curses he rounded a corridor like all the others, then saw the light of his father’s study.

A shape emerged from the door and Kale recognized Kikay leaving, her slippered footsteps silent on the stone. He thought she looked upset, and tired, which seemed unusual, but she turned the other direction and disappeared before he could greet her. A servant waiting outside entered next, and Kale walked to the open doorway and breathed.

He felt fear—as he always did with his father—but now perhaps it sprung from excitement, too, the possibility of reward and happiness, and not just the expectation of punishment and failure.

Farahi wore his morning robes, the purplish skin beneath his eyes worse than normal, his hair not-quite perfectly kept. He handed the servant a letter then dismissed him wordlessly.

“Come,” he said, waving without looking up from the papers before him.

Kale entered, and the servant closed the door on the way out.

“So, have you thought more on your future?”

The king began another letter, quill scratching away without pause as he spoke.

“Yes, Father. I have a few ideas.”

Farahi stopped writing, and blinked as if surprised. “Good. I’ve been thinking, too.” He glanced up—as usual—not quite at Kale’s eyes. “None of your brothers went through the recruitment process. I assume you know this.

Kale nodded. Thank you for that lovely reminder of my inferiority, Father.

“After officer school I sent them to Bato—to the great Monastery there, to learn the Way. I think you’re ready for this.”

Kale tried not to react, but this hadn’t even entered his mind. He knew little of the monastery and only what his brothers told him. Tane said there were ‘tests’ to pass, and that one stayed until finished, returning a man in the eyes of others. It was no doubt priestly nonsense.

“Father I thought I would train to be an officer next, like my brothers.”

The king nodded. “Once you’ve returned, if you still wish, certainly you may.”

Officer training would be nothing like recruitment—his time would largely be his own. Not only could he work with Thetma and the others as they progressed, he could read and learn whatever he wished from whoever he wished—and be almost entirely free to see Lani.

“My team—the recruits I’ve been training with. They’ll be marines by the time I’m back. I’ll have missed it all.”

The king shrugged. “You’ll have plenty of chances to work with soldiers, Kale, and choose your own duties and crews if you do well. The monastery is more important.”

Kale watched wax drip down the lone candle on Farahi’s desk as he searched for calm. He hadn’t expected this. “I thought we would have a discussion. Why bother asking me to consider my future if you’ve already decided what it will be?”

The king’s eyes narrowed, and he dropped his quill. “Why must you fight me at every turn? This is often how a discussion with a king goes, my son. Or a father, for that matter. Honestly I thought you’d be pleased.”

Pleased? God damn pleased?

“Because I’m to spend the next several months surrounded by bald old men and boys humming to myself? I hate priests. They’re tedious, arrogant, fools.”

Farahi smirked at this, which only made Kale angrier.

“It is a right of passage, Kale. It must be done, sooner or later, and better now while you still may learn something useful.”

“Useful? For who? You only send us because you want everyone to see how devout you are.”

His father still looked amused. “Yes, very good. And I also happen to believe that it is time well spent for a young man.”

“My time would be better spent actually learning something, or doing something of relevant use.”

The king sighed and shook his head. “What is your rush, boy? If all you learn at the monastery is patience I will thank the Enlightened and all his tedious monks.”

Kale wanted to smash the walls, his father’s desk, the whole bloody monastery. “I’m in a rush because I want to marry Lani!”

Air disturbed Farahi’s candle and the flame sizzled but remained. Apparently, he’d said it out loud. Well, that is that. The king’s eyes widened.

“You what?”

There’s nothing for it now. Be a man, she’s counting on you.

“I…Father, I love her. She’s nearly of age, and soon she’ll have to return to her people. I want to marry her, I want her to stay with me here, and she feels the same.”

Father and son stared, Kale’s hands and eyes eventually unable to sit still. The king leaned back in his chair and looked at the only adornment in the room—a family portrait of now-dead kin.

“Love is the very worst reason for a prince to marry, especially the daughter of a rival. What secrets might you whisper in the night to what is all but a spy?”

Kale blinked, expecting shock and perhaps questions about private parts and where they’ve been, not about loyalties. “She isn’t a spy. It’s Lani, Father. She’s like family!”

“Yes but she isn’t family. She is a Kapule, a princess of Nong Ming Tong. And while you seem to forget who you are, it is unlikely that she does.”

Ouch.

“And further, it is not an exaggeration to say that our nobles hate each other. They squabble over every agreement, remember every insult. They blame each other for piracy, bad weather, poor harvests, and everything else under the sun. To mix our blood with theirs is a political nightmare.”

Kale felt that it was an exaggeration. “Neither of us are even close to the line of succession—what difference would it make to anyone?”

“Yes and because of that it’s clearly a love-match. Our nobles would call you bewitched, and they would call me a fool. We allow an enemy in our midst, and for what? Sentiment? For what other gain?”

“For peace! Isn’t that why she’s here in the first place? She’s already been allowed ‘in our midst’.”

The king snorted. “A young ward is not the same as an adult prince’s first wife. She would wield considerably more influence. Instead I could take another ward, I could take three—King Kapule breeds like a rabbit put to stud. But you’re right, she must leave us soon, and go back to her people. We will hold her ceremony in a few weeks. But your marriage would not make peace, it would encourage war—war just as likely started by our own people, or it might prompt Kapule to assassinate your brothers and so ensure his grandson sits on the throne.” The king breathed out, finally looking Kale in the eyes.

“I’m sorry, but that’s the end of it. You will go to the monastery, you will pass their tests, and you will return a man. You are young, Kale. In time, you will see that lust is fickle and short-lived, that a man’s lovers are a weakness—a vice to be tempered like any other. But you will have your choice of wives from anywhere in the Isles one day soon, I give you my promise, both as your father and your king.”

With that he picked up his quill, and Kale felt the open-field of his future burning, the cell door slamming shut. He didn’t believe he’d have a choice, no matter what his father said. Everything the man did was for his own purposes, his own ends, Kale finally understood that.

“I won’t go,” he said, the confidence of that defiance rising as sure as dawn.

“You will do as I say willingly, or you will be dragged to the monastery in chains.”

Kale watched his father’s eyes and knew he’d never bend, was perhaps incapable of doing so.

“Send for your guards, then. I won’t go.”

Farahi matched his stare, finally letting out a breath as he muttered ‘just like his mother’.

Kale felt like wiping the mirth off the man’s face when he heard a voice behind him, maybe Eka’s. ‘Very sorry, my prince’, it whispered, then huge hands wrapped almost gently around his throat, choking his breath and squeezing hard.

He thrashed and tried to twist, kicking back and swinging his arms. But he found nothing, hit nothing, as if only Eka’s hands existed. By the time he tried to peel them off directly his vision darkened and he choked and stumbled, clean pants scuffing tile, polished shoe-leather squeaking as he fell. He watched his father scribbling at his letter, eyes turned, the matter closed, slippers tapping beneath his desk. Then nothing.

14: Summer. 422 G.E.

Dala swabbed the outer edges of her last shit pail. Something always clung or caught and had to be washed with water from the well, but she wasn’t allowed to clean it there so like the other girls she’d cart it back to the waste trench—one pail in each hand—and scrub. When she’d mostly cleansed the filth she’d dump the fetid water and start again with a fresh rag, but the bucket always reeked.

“It doesn’t matter, let’s go,” said Juchi—Dala’s only ally in the conclave. The smell by the trench often made Juchi gag and impatient to leave, but Dala knew the darkness bothered her even more.

“I’m almost done,” she said, turning her cloth to the cleanest spots left as she swiped the outside of the pail. It was the worst duty the apprentices had by far, but still important—details mattered to the Order. A priestess of Galdra would squat over this bucket tomorrow, and her assistant would get an earful if it smelled rotten or had traces of waste. From there the abuse would grow and roll down to deflect and crash on the conclave like Tegrin’s rod and crush the girl lowest in the pack. That girl would be Dala.

“I’m going,” said Juchi, as she turned and stomped away, but Dala knew she’d stay in sight. Juchi and all the other girls here did nothing alone, nothing in isolation. They washed, ate, worked, prayed, and suffered together, and the idea of being separated for just a few minutes, even to return to her bed, would be too much.

Dala rose stiff and aching and blinked in the growing dark. She’d been up since dawn and paused only to eat hard and unappealing bread. Her wool dress itched and smelled, though she thanked the goddess it was too short and ill-fitted to drag through the grime at her feet.

She saw the nightmen coming now—the dung-farmers and their packs of silent boys—staring at her as they always did when she lingered too long. These were the men who, among other awful tasks, emptied the capital’s waste from pits and trenches and put it in fields—so named because by law they worked only at night. Dala nodded to them as she always did, and by now they’d overcome their surprise enough to bow their heads in return.

They would know of course by her dress she was a Galdric apprentice. What else exactly they thought of her and what she was doing here she had no idea. Most men believed priestesses didn’t even have bowel movements, at least according to the other girls, and Dala supposed maintaining the illusion was why the apprentices emptied priestess’ privies.

She picked up her now mostly-spotless pails and walked towards the conclave, Juchi shifting her weight from foot to foot then scampering alongside.

“You shouldn’t even look at those wretches,” she said. “They’re one step from outlaws for heaven’s sake.”

Dala didn’t respond, wondering who would fertilize sandy fields and clean the city’s dirtiest places if not for those ‘wretches’.

“All the others will be in bed by now,” Juchi whined, “a priestess comes in the morning to inspect the ring.”

‘The ring’ was what the girls called their small compound, for obvious reasons—houses filled with beds and boxes circled a central patch of grass, all built atop a small hill, encircled by gravel road.

Dala closed her eyes—she’d lost track of the day. “Imler’s cock,” she cursed, and as her friend gasped reminded herself how prim and pampered her fellow students were. “I’ll have to be up early,” she said, mostly to herself, “I’ll have to wash my formals and make my bed before the sun. I wish you’d told me sooner.”

Her friend looked hurt and her mouth opened to complain, but Dala interrupted, annoyed as always she had to be so gentle. “I’m sorry, it’s not your fault.”

They walked together on a smaller road through the Galdric township. Orhus—the world’s capital—was really a collection of twenty towns, each section managed by its own chief, the main Galdric temple at its heart. A breeze sent Juchi’s teeth chattering as she hugged herself for warmth, but to a Southern girl like Dala it never felt cold.

She often slept with her furs pushed down to her legs, and still sometimes kicked it off in the night, though the enclave and all houses here in the North reflected the milder climate. Windows here were not some fanciful, girlish request—they were the norm, and the mountain god’s monsters didn’t lurk outside them. Women wore sleeveless dresses, even shorter skirts that showed their legs, and in summer the men worked half-naked.

Images of tanned, glistening muscle tensed on the backs of straining young men came and stayed, the feelings they gave Dala, as usual, unwelcome. She’d seen sixteen years of life now, at least two longer than women back home chose mates and had children, yet she remained a virgin. Because of the life she’d chosen now, she supposed, she would always be a virgin. But the other girls at the circle—at least if you asked them—were not.

The common story went something like this: days or weeks before their initiation, the servants-of-God to be took herbs and enticed any un-chosen men they’d fancied, sometimes two at a time, to their beds. This had seemed ridiculous to Dala at first—unbelievable, and impractical. But apparently in Orhus it was common. Anticipated even, by the men, if publicly frowned on by mothers and the Order. Since her arrival, Dala had come to realize the wealthy Northerners had a way of avoiding rules and propriety, constructing their lives to fit selfish needs as it suited them. Her own flowering had been somewhat different.

A month after she left Misha’s cold corpse on the floor of his farm, her blood surprised her in a stack of hay. She’d been on the road, hungry and sleeping in a farmer’s barn, given less help and charity than she’d hoped, face still tight from the stitches and sore from the knife. She’d awakened in a panic at the sight, thinking her wound somehow re-opened. Then she felt the ache in her gut, and the wetness at her thighs, and by morning the experience had lost all its magic. Now it came only as an insult—a reminder of tragedy. Meesha had died without knowing physical love, without being given the sacred gift of his matron. And all the while, spoiled daughters of Orhus lay with strangers.

“Where are we going?” Juchi tugged feebly at Dala’s sleeve, and she realized they’d passed the route closest to home. Her friend followed for half a block before she said something, though she must have known full well it was wrong.

Dala fought back her sigh. “May as well go to the Eastern gate.”

She’d been here three months and knew the city around the compound well enough, but things looked different in the dark. The headmasters did not encourage travel or mixing with townsfolk, nor did they allow apprentices to remove the shawls or dresses that marked them. Between chores and prayers and lessons, of course, Dala had little time for such things anyway.

Most apprentices had aunts or sisters or grandmothers in the Order and families near-by—they came from wealth and lineage that could be traced back a thousand years, and they complained daily about the confinement. Dala did not. But then Dala’s parents were dirt-poor Southern farmers who came from nothing, and as far as she knew or cared, they were both buried in the earth.

Burned, she reminded herself, in the North they burn them.

Either way she had nowhere to go, no one to miss, and no one to see. She had an accent the people here sneered at, words slurred slightly by lazy vowels. She knew less about the history of the world and Galdra’s writings than all the other girls, and often felt anxious as they talked about high society, matron politics, and other Orhus topics she didn’t understand. What would they say, she wondered, if they learned I can’t even read?

Behind her back they called her country hick, scar-face, dirt-loving pagan, prude. She ignored it all, or at least she tried. I have faced death twice, she’d tell herself in silence as she ate alone and kept her eyes on her plate, I can face the empty words of little girls.

And actually she’d faced death hundreds of times, if you counted each day of winter in the frozen wasteland of her youth. Curled up with her brothers and sisters and dogs by the hearth she’d prayed often to the goddess to be spared a deep, hard cold that would claim them all. She’d picked insects from budding potato leaves knowing if the crop failed that year they’d starve.

But winter and kin, speech and letters—these were not the only differences between Dala and the others.

Unlike the other girls she knew how to butcher animals—which she learned was not something to brag about in Orhus. She knew how to plant and harvest crops, sew tattered cloth, cook, clean and otherwise toil all day without rest. Her arms and legs curved with lean muscle while the other girls were smooth, their round faces and breasts and bottoms bearing all the hated, envious signs of healthy, prolonged fat.

Dala could do all the headmasters’ menial work in half the time and with better results than the others, fighting into dirty corners with her broom instead of holding it out like a snake, falling to hands and knees to scrub at wooden floor-boards instead of wiping at them uselessly with cloth held in fingertips. But this competence didn’t serve her, didn’t win respect or praise, showing only as another sign of her difference and poverty.

Her thoughts stalled as the Eastern gate of the apprentice compound loomed. They’d built it in a ring at least three times the height of a man, carved from stone and barred with an iron grate, though Dala didn’t see why. And it must have cost a fortune.

As always, two chiefless men stood watch wearing the black-dyed tunics of Galdric warriors. These earned their pay with property and local trade instead of silver, and unlike chiefsmen dressed and armed themselves the same. They carried short spears and swords clasped and sheathed in the same manner, wool coats hiding maybe leather or chain links beneath, even their hair, moustaches and goatees cut short and trimmed the same, as if they were kin.

Tonight the men’s stern-faced leader, Captain Vachir, stood watch. With a glance at the fading sun, as if in disapproval, he knocked at the bars with his fist, and they screeched terribly on the paving stones as they opened.

Dala nodded to him as she approached, and he curved one corner of his mouth and lowered his eyes politely.

“Why do you do that?” Juchi whispered once they’d passed through. “If the other girls saw…”

If the other girls saw then what? Dala almost spat, annoyed by how little the apprentices thought of their protectors. They called them half-men or whipped dogs or worse, and Dala would bite her tongue to stop from saying ‘dogs who watch you while you sleep.’

Galdric warriors had no chiefs to give them rewards or favor. They fought no duels because to fight them would be seen as heretical, and therefore they commanded little honor or prospect, and the women who Chose them were always poor.

Dala and Juchi entered the Eastern arch that led past the outside of the dorms and into the ‘ring’. The builders had angled the narrow pathways so the guards and public couldn’t see inside—lest the men be tempted, she supposed, by so much youthful flesh.

Three months of labor seemed to drag around Dala’s ankles and shoulders like chains, exhaustion catching up with sleep so close. She prayed her bedding hadn’t been stolen or tampered with, that her formal dress remained safely stashed under Juchi’s things where she’d put it. Then her breath caught and she stopped to stare.

The ring was in shambles. Dirty underclothes, broken and scattered vegetables, messy plates and cups lay littered over the grass, even the apple trees hung with laundry, as if someone threw them as high as they could reach.

“Sister.”

Dala turned and faced Tabaya—the ‘little matriarch’, as titled by the cluster. She stood from a near-by wicker chair, a few of her creatures with her, as always, lounging as if they’d been waiting for some time. Grins cracked across their faces.

Dala stepped out onto the brick outer circle that lined the grass, Juchi wide-eyed and beside her, her exhaustion vanished with a cold sweat of impending misery.

Tabaya’s plucked eyebrows furrowed, her colored lips pursed. “Yes, shocking, isn’t it? The other sisters and I discovered the mess this afternoon. But because a priestess arrives in the morning, and because you’re such an excellent…cleaner…well, we all decided it should be left to you to make it all shine before the inspection, for the good of the cluster.” She leaned forward and touched Dala’s arm as if in thanks, or sympathy, then rubbed her fingers together to clean off dirt.

Tabaya. Dala stared with undisguised hate. Even the girl’s name sounded rich, and pretentious—in the South no names had more than two sounds. Dala looked past the spoiled brat and her entourage, shocked that they’d do this at all, but more angry at the stupidity. If she refused to play their game then the whole cluster would be held accountable—their own little hierarchy meaningless.

She opened her mouth to respond before she noticed eyes in one of the windows. Then she scanned around the ring and found more. Pairs huddled together in the dark, hair and faces close together, mouths covered by hands and snickering, some in every hole.

She had no choice but to bear their torment, as usual. “If everyone came out and worked, we’d finish quickly.”

Tabaya’s sneer traced from her smooth brow to her dimpled chin. “I’m sure that’s true.” She turned her back and walked away, thin hips swaying, minions following in her wake.

Dala stood still and smelled the warm air.

“You can’t,” whispered Juchi, who had examined her feet during the exchange, “not with them all watching, you can’t.”

“If you help, we can manage.”

Dala hoped her desperation didn’t show, her pitiful hope that Juchi might stay and suffer, and perhaps if she did then perhaps just for now, just for one night, Dala wouldn’t feel so alone.

Juchi shook her head. Her eyes watered and when she closed them drops leaked down her face. “I can’t, Dala, please, I can’t. Not with everyone watching.” She turned and ran, good leather boots thudding on the brick path, and without looking back made her way towards the least desirable building and the second least desirable bed in the dorms, because that was her place.

“Wait!” Her friend stopped and turned. Their eyes met and Juchi’s lip trembled. “Leave your pail.” Dala hoped her shame and anger didn’t show. “I can use it.”

Wood clattered to the hard ground and rolled, and girls all around the ring giggled as Juchi ran away.

Nightingales who’d not yet flown from the coming winter sang near-by, perched comfortably on apple-tree branches, oblivious to the strewn clothes, their pretty voices drowning the girls whispers. To Dala they’d always seemed such happy creatures, content with their fate to roam the night with darker things. But now their pleasure felt like mockery—as if the whole world watched her from windows and treetops and laughed, all in together on a joke at her expense.

She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the world. Every moment of her life seemed some test or punishment, and she wanted only a rest, or reprieve, a day or even a night of safety to gather herself and face the dawn. Instead, as she did often in darkness, or in dreams—she saw the dark shape of the wolf in the blackness of her mind. She saw Meesha lying dead and broken on the floor beside her, her dead brother on her lap, this time the wolf laughing, too. “You’re just like me,” he said, golden eyes glowing like fire before her, “you’re a freak left to starve. You’re forgotten, abandoned, and others will take your dignity and cover it with a prayer.”

She held back her tears, frozen still where she stood while the whole world laughed. “Look at the stupid farm girl with her shit-pail and her scar!” cried the girls in her mind, though still they only whispered behind windows and she couldn’t hear their words.

When she could stand it no more she picked up a broom left lying on the bricks, curling her hands around its neck. If the apprentices are like this, she thought bitterly, then so too will be the priestesses, and high priestesses, and everyone in the Order who matters.

In the end it wouldn’t matter how hard she tried or how much misery she took—she would always be different. The headmasters had accepted her because of her story, but she realized now they’d likely known she’d never pass apprenticeship—known she’d never truly be part of the group.

The others mistreated Juchi for her fear and shyness, but her family was good and so one day she’d be welcome in their circle, if just on its edges. But Dala they’d discard, dumped out with the pails. Again. Just like the father who left her tied up and shivering in a field for the crows, the ‘sisters’ would turn her away.

“How do I serve you, Goddess, if not here?”

Dala whispered to the darkened sky and saw only star-gods like Tegrin, shining bright and beautiful but silent, attention turned to greater things, no longer concerned with man. “Give me a sign, please.”

A tear fell and stumbled over her scar, and she hated herself for this weakness. True pain came from death and sickness and not the petty games of little girls, and she knew her self-indulgent sniveling meant nothing, and oh how Meesha would give anything just to be alive and suffering petty torments if it meant warmth and life and love.

She breathed, hoping to clear her thoughts and bear her burdens with grace. She let the heat of shame and anger fade from her skin until only the moment and calmness remained, a plan of action and what she could do, now, to solve it. She bent and swept her broom over chunks of green peelings now stuck to the path. First, just the brick. I can do that. I’ve done it a hundred times.

Work replaced concern for who might be watching or what they thought of her. She used a hand-full of grass to wipe the stains, and soon her first pail filled to the top and she sighed and realized she’d have to cross the whole yard to empty it. Then she noticed the silence.

It seemed, somehow, important. She stared with wide, wet eyes at the huge tree that stood in the center of the ring and realized the nightingales had silenced. They’d stilled, too, except for their heads, which darted back and forth as if in panic as they scanned the night. Then all at once they flapped and fluttered as branches swayed and ripe apples too high for girls to pick fell and squished on the grass, and Dala searched with frantic eyes, desperate to see what caused the disruption.

She traced the outline of the branches twice until she saw dark feathers and a rounded head shimmering in the pale light, jerking back and forth, back and forth. She saw a nightingale clutched in death, hanging below a branch in razor talons, a hooked beak hacking at warm flesh, and huge, bright eyes half closed in contentment. It’s an owl, she realized, a killer in the dark.

Her throat clenched, and she shook, almost failing to stifle the cry that climbed from her gut. All the girls no doubt remained, still staring at her, still whispering—but none would notice the birds because they’d grown so used to their songs or silences. Warmth seemed to flow through her, over her, and she spasmed with a broken sob, no longer caring that she was watched and what the others thought. Thank you, Mother, oh thank you for sparing me, and for being with me, and for hearing my prayer.

She wondered how many similar signs she’d missed in her life. How many did I see, and fail to perceive? How many times had the one true God tried to show her the way? Tried to teach her?

The owl, too, belongs to me, said Nanot, with this simple gesture. Not all killers are the mountain god’s. Not all death and violence is wrong.

Dala saw the wolf’s eyes in the night and how he’d killed the boys but left her unharmed. Because I didn’t attack him, she thought, because it wouldn’t have been justice.

She closed her eyes and thought if only I could have saved him, if only I could reach out and take this owl in my arms and break him to my fist. There must be a way.

She fought the urge to try it now, knowing the owl would only flee as she approached. But what a world if it didn’t. What a world if only she could wash its bloody feathers and claws and bend it to her will for some greater purpose. And then what? What would I do with such a power?

Energy coursed through her muscles as her mind moved up and out of the compound into the night and future. She saw the men who worked or joked with her father spitting behind priestess’ backs. She saw lowly men in trenches, men guarding walls, men breaking the Order’s laws to save their families.

She understood the owl’s majesty and beauty, then, not just its cruelty. She stood still and admired its curves and sharp angles, the terrible symmetry of violence and speed.

“I will silence the nightingales,” she said to the sky, and smiled, turning her gaze to the ancient star-gods as she gripped her broom. “I will make you all proud.”

“She’s talking to herself!”

One of the closest spectators giggled and spread the word and the girls all chirped in unison. Doesn’t matter, let them laugh.

“I won’t give up,” she promised the heavens—the many worlds of paradise where winter never came, and children never starved. “I won’t forget why you spared me.”

Some of the listeners laughed out loud and called her names, but they only used words, and words didn’t do much of anything.

It’s only a matter of how, and when, and how deep the cut must be before the wound can heal, she thought, picturing the blood and flesh as she ripped out Noss’ cancer from her cheek—and the throbbing, endless agony that followed. Perhaps all recovery must begin with suffering, she decided, suffering so brutal and harsh it can never be forgotten.

She smiled at the corrupt apprentices around her as she picked up their rotten bits of cabbage. You said it yourself, Tabaya, I’m an excellent cleaner.

The smile faded when she thought of Meesha and his brothers and the many boys like them who had died and would never see paradise. Because these women failed them.

She thought of boys, especially in the South, without guidance, without the love and protection of true priestesses, that had been utterly abandoned and left to ruin. She grit her teeth at that incompetence—that evil. And one day, she promised, like Nanot’s wolf in the night, Dala would give them her justice, too.

PART TWO

Outcasts

15

“Gather outside and wait there.”

The visiting priestess stalked down the bed rows of the compound staring, shaking her long, clean hair and rolling her neck as if the girls’ incompetence caused her pain. She pulled up her white shawl, no doubt to taunt them, and clacked out of the dorm on square-heeled boots.

The apprentices followed, heads down, and Dala went last. She’d finished cleaning the circle and lay down as the sun rose, eyes closing for sleep within moments, then she woke to the sounds of angry sister.

She hadn’t changed to her formal dress, hadn’t brushed her hair or washed her face or made her bed. But she leapt up to stand in abeyance, head down and hands together at her knees in line with all the others. And the tall, beautiful Priestess Amira had walked past her and said nothing.

“You’re disorganized, messy, and lack leadership. You can’t take care of yourselves, yet you want to be responsible for others?”

All the dorms had formed up in the circle—a hundred girls, give or take—looking at the grass in shame.

The priestess said nothing as she stalked between them. After a long minute she stopped and blew out a breath, having seen perhaps all she cared to.

“How did Galdra defeat Imler?”

None of the girls spoke.

“We have no need for cowards. Someone will answer me.”

Tabaya’s voice came steady, sure, and Dala tried not to hate her. “In battle, Mistress.”

“Galdra was a warrior?”

“No, Mistress.”

“Then how could she defeat the greatest general and the greatest army in the world, Apprentice?”

Tabaya’s voice only grew more confident. “She had the Goddess, Mistress.”

The priestess sneered. “And how many soldiers did the Goddess command, little girl?”

Dala blinked and scanned from the corner of her eye. Many of the girls mouth’s hung in disbelief as Tabaya turned a shade of pink and said nothing.

Amira paced across the brick. “Galdra defeated Imler with an idea, fledglings. That idea caused Imler’s own men to turn against him. It rallied the tribes, the herders, the merchants and farmers—the people of ash turned against him. Remember that lesson. Those who rule with the sword, die by it, as sure as sunrise.”

For a moment Dala wondered—and how do those who rule with ideas die?

The priestess raised her lined but radiant face towards the sun, the white shawl of the Order almost glowing in the dawn. “We have no army. Only guards to enforce the law. We rule this world with a woman’s power—with Galdric power—we rule it with words, with knowledge, with influence.”

Their teacher smiled and returned her attention to them. “No chief can rise against us because his fellows would destroy him. No Northern army can oppose us because, like Imler, at least half will betray. And what’s left of the steppe herdsmen can not harm us because we are united.” She shrugged. “True—there will never be perfection, and always men will break the law, but this world has not seen war—not real, blood-soaked, land-shaking war—in a thousand years. Because of us, my future sisters, because of laws and influence.”

Dala felt a lump of pride in her throat. My future sisters. She’d bristled at the words ‘there will never be perfection,’ but this attitude could be changed. Perhaps the corruption in the Order does not run as deep as I feared.

With the right guidance maybe the Order could reach higher—accomplish more, and again find the path of righteousness. With time and knowledge Dala could rise in their ranks and help shape a new future where girls like Tabaya had no power. All things were possible. Galdra had shown them that. It was only a matter of time, and will.

“But influence, my budding flowers, is hard. It is uncertain, and complex. In the end though it requires only that people agree. The ‘why’ and ‘how’ are less important. You must prove your understanding of this before you’re welcome here.” The priestess inspected girls one by one, expression warped somehow so her smooth skin and pretty face seemed rougher, harder. “In one month I will return. On that day you will all, without conflict, inform me of your collective hierarchy. You will rank yourselves from greatest to least, from leaders to servants.” She paused. “The bottom twenty-five will fail this initiation.”

A few girls gasped.

“They will be allowed to try again next year without shame,” Amira soothed, “but for this year they will be finished. The top five girls will choose any sisters around the world to be their mentors for two years, and they will choose in order. But hear me now, goslings, and hear well: if there is one girl left out of this ranking, if there is one girl who complains or disagrees with her place and speaks out openly or privately to me, then all of you will fail. You will leave here with nothing, and you will not return.”

The priestess searched them all with her eyes, perhaps for dissent, but found none. “That is all. If you have questions speak to your headmasters. Praise her name.”

“Praise her name,” mumbled some rotely, though most had been struck silent.

Dala included. Her knees trembled. The bottom twenty-five? She had no chance. She was the bottom, the very bottom—that was decided on day one. For the others failure would mean going home to their families to wait impatiently for another try, a whole year in the real world maybe to make secret deals and improve their chances. In the meantime they’d sleep in warm houses by gentle hearths with their stomachs full. But Dala had no such luxury. She would have to take a mate, or starve. She had no wealth, no trade, no family, and if she did what she would have to do just to survive, she would never be a priestess.

She felt numb, destroyed, knowing misery and understanding would follow. She looked sideways to see Tabaya staring, lips tight and eyes unreadable, and her lack of pleasure seemed odd. She should be ecstatic, she thought, her place is assured.

Reason screamed through the wall of deadness, and little hairs stood on Dala’s arms. I can ruin it for her, for everyone. All I have to do is disagree. I can’t try again because I’m poor. I have nothing to lose. Nothing to take. That gives me power.

Her mind swirled as the priestess clacked down the Southern brick walk-way and the iron gate screeched. She hadn’t criticized Dala, had she? She hadn’t called her out for her unkempt hair or bed or dirty dress, and she’d mocked the ‘little matriarch’, not raised her up. They can’t all be nightingales, Goddess. There must be good and worthy servants at your call, and maybe Priestess Amira is one of them.

As soon as she was gone the girls turned to each other and whispered frantically. Headmasters shooed them off the grass and called their behavior disgraceful and oh how they’d embarrassed themselves before the priestess.

The girls are genuinely surprised. But how can that be?

All of them would have sisters or aunts or cousins in the Order, so surely they’d have known all about the test? Surely they’d have been prepared and would have befriended Dala immediately to end the threat? Unless the test is new. Unless the test changes every batch of girls. Unless Galdra is on my side.

For now it made no difference. Whether they knew or not, whether the test had changed or not, Dala had a weapon. To the greatest girls she was perhaps the only danger now. She alone had no family to face, no gossip to ruin her later when high society learned who the traitor was that spoiled a whole crop of their daughters. She had nothing in this place to control her. She could destroy these girls with one word, without consequence, and soon they’d all realize it, just like their ‘little matriarch’ had.

Tabaya wasted no time. She walked calmly across the clean grass that Dala spent all night scraping for rotten bits of food, stopping only a few feet away. She tilted her perfectly shaped head, no sign of concern except in the effort of her expressionless mask. “I think it would be helpful if we spoke.”

Dala did everything in her power to stay calm, though a thrill shivered through her body. She smiled and nodded correctly in deference to an equal—the very model of politeness. She waited until all the other girls near-by noticed them standing together, then she met her enemy’s eyes.

“I’m sure that’s true.”

She turned her back rudely and walked along the spotless brick path, sagged into her ruffled bed, and fell to a blissful, dreamless sleep.

* * *

“Oh calm down, she can’t do anything.”

“She can do something to me!”

Juchi’s hands shook too much to do her work, so she set down the goose quill and clay cup filled with oily ink, and stared at the wall of the conclave’s library.

Dala wasn’t sure what to say because she supposed that was true. Tabaya could make Juchi’s life even more miserable, during and after the apprenticeship. She could ostracize her further—could ruin her meals and bedding and make her look a fool before the headmasters. She could maybe even sabotage Juchi’s family—they were merchants, she knew, and wealthy enough by Dala’s standards, but nothing compared to Tabaya’s. And if Dala did end up destroying the girls, well, her friend would be included.

She felt the urge to say ‘you left me when I needed you most,’ and ‘we aren’t really that close anyway’.

Only two days had passed since the priestess announced their ‘test’, and most of the apprentices still waited to see how the leaders would react. Dala and Juchi sat alone in a room filled with books, hunched at a low wooden table doing double the load they should. Had they refused this unfairness, then tomorrow or the next day they’d return to their rooms and find their sheets gone or covered in mud, or worse, or find their cleaning or washing undone.

Hundreds of copies of Galdra’s teachings lay in stacks all around them—the collected holy words of the prophet herself, and the lesser edicts and lawspeaker interpretations over the centuries. Dala could not imagine the value of this place. Most towns had only a single copy.

She held her quill awkwardly and traced symbols she couldn’t read along the punctured lines of vellum sheafs, wondering how much of what she copied was the Goddess’ words, and how much was mortal nonsense.

“I’m not actually going to ruin things,” she said, sighing. “I’ll just use the threat to force the girls to make me a priestess.”

Juchi shook her head. “They’ll never put a Southern girl like you over one of them. Never. They’ll find a way.”

Dala’s hand tightened on the hated quill. Copying prayer books was hard, and tedious, and she had a hundred things to do. “They have no bloody choice. I have nothing to take, nothing to lose. They can make my life as miserable as they want but I’ll just bear it. Don’t you see that?”

The tone would usually have been enough to cow Juchi to silence, but she was strangely adamant. “They’ll offer silver, and you should take it. It’s more than you’ll ever see otherwise. And if you don’t, then…”

Dala almost screamed and shook her ‘friend’s’ slender shoulders while she shouted ‘then what!’, but she breathed and forced a calm, wondering if Tabaya had spoken with her already—asked her to convince Dala to play nice for the greater good. The feeling passed. They probably had asked her, and of course she’d agree. It made no difference. Dala rose and held the girl’s skinny arms with her callused, ink-stained hands. “The Goddess sent me here, I’ve told you that.”

Telling anyone about ‘signs’ and ‘visions’ was seen as foolish at best, heretical at worst—but they’d been up late scrubbing floors in a night that made them feel all alone in the world, and well, it was true, and Dala felt she had to tell someone. Besides, weakness like Juchi’s craved strength.

The merchant’s daughter looked down and nodded, not brave enough to challenge her. She wasn’t particularly devout, and whether or not she believed it, she’d accepted this readily enough.

“Nanot didn’t bring me here for silver,” Dala said, letting her confidence show. “Help me and I’ll protect you, raise you up. Help me and in a month we’ll both be priestesses.”

Juchi blinked her big brown orbs and Dala thought ‘if she actually smiled and met a person’s eyes she’d be quite pretty’. But as usual the girl stared mostly at Dala’s cheek or maybe nose and shook her head, fear pulsing from her like some foul stench. “But how…”

“Do you want this? Do you even want to be a priestess, Juchi?”

The merchant daughter’s eyes teared up and she tried to pull away, but Dala held her still.

“I’m not good at anything,” she mumbled. “I can’t haggle. I’ve no head for figures like my sisters.” She bit her lip. “And men…men frighten me, especially my father. I don’t want to take a mate. I can’t.”

Dala did all she could to swallow her contempt. At first all she could think was ‘how can you be a priestess and guide chiefs and warriors if you’re afraid of men’? But somewhere underneath she had real sympathy—for Juchi and all other weak or broken things. She pulled the smaller girl to her chest without a fight and hushed her, closing teary eyes with a palm as she had so often with her adopted brothers as they cried from empty stomachs. “You won’t have to. It’ll get easier. We’ll be sisters.”

Juchi wept, and Dala held her. When they parted Juchi wiped at her face while Dala held her chin.

“You only need to do one thing, and I’ll do the rest. You’ll be a priestess and everything will get easier. Will you try for me?”

Her friend nodded, eyes wide with a pathetic, if earnest fragility.

“We need silver, Juchi. I need you to ask your sisters or your mother. Tell them about the test, if you like—say the money’s for bribes or influence, whatever they’ll believe, and that for this small price they’ll have a daughter in the Order. Tell them the more the better.” Dala waited and hoped, seeing no use at all to the girl if she couldn’t at least do this.

“Silver? But…” she glanced at Dala and almost cringed. “I can try,” she swallowed, “the season’s right, I think, and if my mother’s done well…” She looked away as if in thought and Dala felt some hope. “I can do it,” she said, a small trace of fire, maybe, in her voice. “But…you can’t buy the girls. They’re all rich, they won’t care.”

Dala smiled, but she’d moved on to other, harder tasks in her mind. She’d need to ‘bend’ the rules and venture out into the city—she’d need a smith, and a tailor or maybe two to be safe, and a place big and secluded enough to hold a meeting. Her thoughts drifted as they often did now to the unhappy tribesmen of her hometown, to the herders of the steppes, and to the men in Orhus standing waist deep in filth in the moonlight.

“It’s not for the girls,” she said absently, then let Juchi go and went back to copying words she couldn’t read. “Hurry,” she added, as her friend tried to compose herself and do the same, “There’s things to do, and we start tonight.”

* * *

Before the sun fell that day, Dala approached Vachir, the Galdric captain of the compound guard.

“Do you have a matron, Captain?”

She’d waited for him outside the gate as his watch finished, and he went red with surprise.

“Yes, Mistress. Fifteen years now. Four children survived, all twins.” He ran a hand over his moustache and down over his goatee, one foot turned away as if to run. But politeness kept him still.

Dala asked his children’s names and ages and smiled at every detail, genuinely pleased for his happy life. “What would you do if someone threatened to take your family, Captain?”

His eyes darted to alleyways, as if he expected the villain to leap out from the dark then and there. “I’d kill him, Mistress.”

She fought her smile.

“And if it was a woman? A priestess? Then what would you do?”

He tensed, and Dala knew she must be careful.

“Well that is what’s happening, Captain, to many others. I need your help.”

Vachir’s expression did not soften, and Dala had no idea what he knew about Galdric politics and goings-on, but her guess was almost nothing. In his strong body and confident eyes she saw a good man from poor stock who joined the Order to get a mate. She saw a man who found subservience and perhaps dishonor more tasteful than killing other men in duels for ‘glory’ and reputation. “What can I do for you, Mistress?” She watched him close, hoping she was right, and that he was not a coward.

“I want to speak with the leaders of Hulbron’s chiefless. The mateless. The nightmen. I need a meeting.”

The captain’s brow raised, then furrowed. He said at once he couldn’t help. He said even if he could help it wasn’t seemly, that his daughters were near Dala’s age—that such men couldn’t be trusted, and why should she seek such poor company anyway?

“Your sons, Captain, will they one day follow in their father’s footsteps and be soldiers for the Galdric Order?”

He nodded, if slowly, and his head drew back in caution.

“If they couldn’t—if they lost their way, if they were hurt or sick or too weak and became wretches with no family and no hope—would you love them less? Would you abandon them?”

His eye twitched and Dala wondered how many of his kin fit her description.

“I knew boys who lost their way,” she said, blinking back real tears as she thought of Meesha on the floor, neck twisted and purple. “And if I don’t try to bring the goddess’ mercy to such lost souls, then who will, Captain? The rich daughters of merchant-queens? These Northern princesses who’ve never worked a day in their lives? Girls who’ve never even left the streets of Orhus?”

He braved a glance at her eyes, looking around as if he feared being watched. Then with a sigh he gestured and walked her towards his home.

It was South, past the merchant circle in the middle of Orhus that was now just shutting down. Men and women covered carts or led them away behind mules for the night, some tossing vegetables deemed too rotten to sell into trenches. In the South, she thought as she passed, men would fight over that garbage.

They passed what must have been artisan circles—men and women shaping clay so dark it looked almost black, firing it in brick kilns with orange square holes of flame, as if they descended into Noss’s pit. Others held distaffs and wound wool, or spun it on looms braced against the sides of houses. All was covered from the rain by leathery tarps, and the smell and heat of the work had Dala squinting her eyes and keeping close to the captain.

He led her through the chaos to bins that leaked salt or perhaps sand from their bottoms. These were mixed with circle-blocks of houses built so close they might have shared walls, all the roofs made of only thatch like the South, single hearth-holes cut like v’s in their centers, wooden planks stacked beside ladders to cover them. They looked comfortable, if cheap, but as good or better than anything Dala had ever lived in until the compound.

Vachir stopped here and again looked around, this time at almost empty streets.

With a deep breath he described late-night gatherings of single-born sons—the sort of men who butchered animals, handled corpses, or carted away the city’s filth in return for enough beer and wine to forget their futures. He described the ‘unchosen’—either chiefless, or poor men with no respect or hope of mates. He spoke of toothless dissent understood by all, unarmed wastrels without a cause who hated all the world, but not enough to fight it. The way he said it showed he thought such men foolish, but dangerous, and that he pitied them.

“Do they have leaders? Do you know who they are?”

He nodded, then hesitated, eyes drifting to a sound behind her. She looked and saw a group of lean, bearded men carrying hammers and saws. They stopped talking and laughing when they saw Dala, faces molding to expressionless masks. They bowed as they entered the circle and mumbled “Priestess,” and Dala and the Captain nodded in return. When they’d moved past the gate and gone to their houses, the captain’s jaw unclenched.

“Beg your pardon, Mistress. But what do you think you can do for them?”

Dala turned fully towards him. “More than nothing, Captain. Shall I give up because it’s hard?”

He glanced at her eyes again, then back towards his home. “There are different groups.”

“I’ll start wherever you think best.”

He stroked his goatee and the skin by his eyes wrinkled. “There’s a nightman named Birmun.” He pushed dirty hair away from his lip with his tongue. “What he says will sway others.”

Dala thanked him and agreed, and he told her to speak with him again tomorrow, or perhaps the day after. Then he turned his back to leave and froze, likely just realizing the rudeness. He spun back and bowed and said “Good evening, Priestess,” as if his mind was far away.

He was twice her age, but Dala watched his strong shoulders as he left. He called me Priestess, she thought, not apprentice.

She floated back to the compound ignoring sunset and bustling city-streets, the same hope she’d sold the captain spreading within like a weed.

That night passed with little sleep, and she sprung from the hard, flat shelf they called a bed and copied books for the first time with a smile, not even seething when the breakfast cooks dumped half her oats on the circle grass. She did her chores and waited all day, spying on the guard without much subtlety for the shifts to change, using the attention to try and place each face to a name, committing herself to learn those she didn’t know. She watched every shift change, peering after every warrior that left his post—but Captain Vachir did not return.

For another night Dala tossed and turned and in the morning sneaked out before the sun to watch the faces of the nightguard. But still she did not see him.

When the morning shift came again and still without their captain, Dala could stand it no longer and approached.

‘He’s sick,’ said an old veteran from the ramparts without expression or tone, and the rest ignored her.

She asked her headmaster next, and the wrinkled woman looked up from her books and lists to say “The guardsmen sort themselves,” as if she’d been forced to chew lemon rind, then gestured Dala out the door.

Another day passed as Dala toiled and her stomach churned, then the night came and went, and Dala stepped out early on the third day feeling tired and hopeless. She saw Vachir limping through the gate with the dawn. His men set out a chair.

The captain’s face was bruised and swollen, his left eye hardly visible, his cheeks puffed like a newborn child’s. Dala stayed hidden for some time until he was mostly alone, and when she finally built up the courage to speak to him, he looked away.

“They won’t meet you,” he said, voice gruff, and she wanted to ask a hundred questions and say she was sorry, or at least do something. But then, what exactly could she do?

Men will be men, she decided, casting off the guilt by reminding herself the importance of her cause.

But still she needed to meet with this Birmun, or perhaps others, and she had no idea how. She paced on the yellow grass of the compound before the others rose, hoping solitude would help.

There must be another way. I haven’t come this far to give up.

She went to her chores because she had no choice—they were set out officially by the headmasters, but unofficially by the most important girls, and for Dala it was always cleaning. She scrubbed her dorm with soap and water from the compound well, swept the paths and picked the grass for dropped scraps of food or bird droppings. And when she was mostly finished she sneaked out and walked the streets of Orhus before anyone stopped her, knowing she could finish later before the sun fell.

She wore an overcoat of rough wool and stuffed her shawl underneath, not wanting to be noticed or gawked at or recognized. The city always felt suffocating and close—all the people cooking and shouting and spitting and mixing their busy lives with hers whether she liked it or not. It filled her nostrils and ears every second of the day and made her long for the stillness of the country. But every place has its end, she thought, and I can walk all day until I find it.

When she’d first come here from the South she’d seen hills and cliffs of red, dry rock with only vultures and eagles and rabbits. Since then the furthest she’d traveled was North towards the Hall of Justice and the sea, but never to the edge, and there were always hordes of people. This time she turned East.

She walked from rich to poor, through curved layers of stone and oak houses to others of mud and straw. She passed a field of geysers that sprayed salty water in steamy puffs, watching children play on slippery rocks, and old women soak their feet in fetid pools of briny water. Her legs grew tired, her wool itchy and stuck to her skin by sweat and dew, but still the sprawl of humanity stretched.

Roads turned from paving stone to broken rocks dumped in cut dirt paths, and with every step the air seemed to further fill with smoke. Dala thought perhaps a near-by forest burned and wondered why no one seemed to care, but she kept walking, and soon she heard the hammering and calls of men. She’d come to the lip of what looked like a valley, but was perhaps just a huge hole dug in the earth, and she realized she’d found the Ascom’s mines.

Men swarmed over rusty caves like ants, swinging picks or wielding shovels. Some chopped or carted firewood stacked in row upon row as long as a city circle and as high as any house. Others went up and down ramps guiding horses or pulling carts filled with rock and ore where they left it in heaps. From there, smiths lined it up in round shacks and hammered in turns at red-hot clumps of ore—the final link in the chain.

All was black and red, smothered in the gouts of smoke spewing from clay furnaces that looked like tall, cone-shaped hearths. The men here were as thin and hard as the stone they molded, veins and sinew popping from their smog-smeared skin.

Dala knew nothing about pulling metal from the earth. And what woman does, she wondered? She stared in awe at the organized chaos, the sheer complexity of the place that provided nearly all the world with salt and iron and who knew what else, and not a single trace of her gender in sight.

From the other girls she’d learned of corruption here—the names of the chiefs who hoarded ore and tools and the names of sisters who allowed it. She knew that Southern tribesmen and even herders from the steppes came up to work and often died in the darkest depths of those caves. But how to craft a single plow, or a single sword? She had no idea.

None of us do, she thought, and felt an anxiousness she couldn’t dispel. It was perhaps the greatest sin of the Galdric Order that they had no sources of wealth or power on their own except their prophet’s teachings, and in their folly they called this strength. We have no army, no miners, no farmers or craftsmen or sailors. The Order supported or destroyed chiefs, and they helped Choose mates; they helped the people of ash find paradise. But everything, all their power, flowed from peace and consent and the obedience of others except the few guards like Vachir they actually gave a living. But what would we do if the huddled poor of the North revolt, she thought? Or worse, if the ‘savages’ of the far South or the steppes came in force? Would the chiefs unite and protect us? Would they even know how?

She thought not. It would take a new Galdra to unite them, or some evil that threatened all the chief’s wealth at once.

An evil like Imler, she realized, and her heart thumped in her ears, building like a wave until it nearly drowned out the smith’s hammering. Only when the chiefs saw destruction on their borders would they give up petty grievances, find some ‘other’ power to turn their strength upon together.

And then they would need a leader or a cause they didn’t fear. Some force to unite them and later, when it was over, not to replace the thing they’d fought in the first place.

A woman, she thought, a woman who couldn’t steal their glory or later claim their warriors or mates.

At the edge of the mine, looking down into a world she hardly understood, she saw the simplicity of it, the beauty. Men are so simple, she almost laughed, feeling the same urge to touch the workers beneath, to love them and break them to her fist like the owl, and the wolf.

Instead she turned and fled back towards the compound feeling as if time ran before her. I should never have used the captain, she scolded, I have to stop relying on others and learn to do things myself.

This time she ignored the goings-on of Orhus with ease, arriving at the compound as if she’d flown, ignoring the glances of the guards and other girls at the circle and forgetting to uncover her shawl as she entered. She scrounged under her bed for the heavy bag of ‘supplies’ she’d prepared for the nightmen, closing her eyes at the sheer boldness of her path. She breathed and stood, heaving the bag to her back and hoping she wouldn’t be questioned, not sure what to say if she was.

The leather straps strained her shoulders, but it would do. She took a water-skin and satchel of nearly burned bread she’d bought in the street with Juchi’s money, then strode out the closest gate as if nothing about this was strange, and no one said a word.

There were old watchtowers along the river—crumbling edifices to an earlier age when Orhus was not at peace. The one she needed overlooked a few of the central towns, and from it’s peak Dala could stay hidden and observe the comings and goings along the water, and along the inner trenches.

She entered the tower’s low arch-way—made so a man must stoop and likely lose his head to defenders. She climbed up rain-rounded steps cut in a spiral up the tower, trying not to trip over misshapen rocks or the hem of her dress, and she settled, panting, on the cold stone floor beside a window. She waited beside a rotten railing and an unlit warning signal, drinking her water and chewing her bread, forcing impatience from her body like moisture squeezed from a rag. Night fell with her wide awake.

The city breathed and sighed and the streets emptied of life as merchants closed their shops. An eerie calmness settled in the twilight—the in-between as the bustle of day ended, but the creatures of darkness slept. Then came the nightmen.

As always they looked thin and stained with muck. They hauled bundles of good iron tools over strong shoulders, stooping and digging and hacking at refuse for hours in torchlight, filling cart-fulls of waste with a speed that mocked Dala’s work at the compound.

She flexed her aching hands and neck and looked at the scabs on her knees from scrubbing floors. She had felt a kind of pride earning the future scars, but now, watching these men in the dark—and before watching the miners and smiths and all the laborers who moved the world, now she felt only shame. Women ruled the Ascom with words. This was right and good and for that they were the chosen of God. But men like these carried it on their backs. For this, Dala thought, they are scorned where they should be praised.

The nightmen worked by torchlight, nightingales sang, frogs and crickets croaked and clicked, and Dala tried not to be afraid. Her plan was to follow their light as they went back to drink and mingle with their brothers at whatever pitiful hole they’d chosen. But she couldn’t be sure they would. She might waste an entire night’s rest to face the dawn with nothing. Or, she thought, it could be worse. It could be much, much worse.

She thought of the captain and his beating and tried to force the thought away. She was a woman, a Galdric apprentice—to touch her was illegal and blasphemy and death for any man. But the truth she couldn’t deny was she would not be missed or sought out. If she disappeared into the nightmen’s muck or came back to the compound beaten and used like Zisa on the mountain, the others may not care. Juchi certainly wouldn’t speak up, and neither would the captain.

It was her last thought before the torches burning by the waste trench moved. Perhaps an hour before dawn the men finished and gathered to march through the city, and Dala watched as her heart raced.

The torches stayed together as they moved, and she dared to hope. From the tower she watched them like a fiery snake through winding gravel streets. She didn’t know the city well, but she guessed men like this would live close to where they worked. They weren’t welcome in finer shops or halls and so their worlds would be small, and cloistered. Like warriors, she thought, who eat, sleep and breathe the same foulness together.

After a few minutes on the move the torches stopped and gathered, and though Dala couldn’t see the place exactly in the dark, she thought she could find it.

“Praise her name,” she whispered and locked the area in her mind, thanking God for watching over her still. She climbed down the tower with one hand on the rough wall for balance, lightless now in the confines of the stone.

In a few hours, she thought, I will have new allies. I swear it.

For all her talk and plans, she needed them desperately, that was the truth. But if she could only bend these men to God’s purpose—if she could tip a single rock than, perhaps, she could make an avalanche. And if she could do that then maybe she could frighten the chiefs, and therefore the sisters, and with time and fear perhaps she could silence the heretics that plagued the only source of law and justice in the world, and repay the Goddess for her life and favor.

Or she could fail, now, here, and utterly. She could suffer as few women under God suffered with men who’d never had a woman, and later feed the wheat-fields with her corpse.

But I will not fail.

* * *

The streets were empty. When the sun rose, life and the hustle of trade would rise with it, but in the darkest pit of night Dala was alone. She hugged her heavy pack and prayed it would be enough, looking back towards her watchtower and trying to judge the distance by moonlight. But things looked different from the ground.

It had seemed so obvious before. Only a few circle-blocks and walls between her and her target; some few lone shacks as landmarks, perhaps warehousing for clay or wood. But from the street it all looked the same. After several minutes of searching and panicking that if she took too long she’d miss the meeting—she had to admit: she was lost.

Her teeth hurt from crushing together and her eyes shot back and forth at strange, unfamiliar houses. She’d lived on farms or small towns her whole life—places where people painted their doors and roofs to be found in the dead of winter. But here in the North, no one painted anything. It was all the same drab browns and greys, stone or wood left bare and built exactly the same as the ten clustered together in their uniform circular blocks.

All the house-rings had ‘corners’—unfilled spaces between the round rows of buildings, and somehow they felt safer than the streets. Dala picked her way through them in the dark, but tripped and tumbled to wet, reeking dirt, the smell of old death and dust in her nostrils. She sprung away in disgust, hoping it was just a stray dog that died out of sight, but quickly moved out to the curved, cleaner streets.

It didn’t help. Even the notion it was possible to find something like this in the dark now seemed foolish, and heat rose to Dala’s face as she stopped and fought panic.

She closed her eyes and tried to picture the exact image of the torches moving, which helped a little. It was North-East of the tower, she knew, but how far?

Three house rings, she decided, but no more than five.

The numbers steadied her—something tangible to measure, a place to start. She took calming breaths and shrugged the straps on her pack to less raw spots on her shoulders, knowing the sweaty numbness would give way to blisters.

As she stood still planning her path, she heard a sound.

Was that a laugh?

She tried to block out her hammering pulse as she strained to hear. It could have been the nightmen, or a homeless madman cackling in an alley. She heard it again.

There is no time for fear or indecision. Choose and move.

She ran towards it. Her steps boomed in her ears as she crunched loose stone, and the laughing got clearer—now mixing with voices and wood scraping against wood.

Outside her current ring she’d seen a grass-roofed manor on its own—a pretty green island near a filthy shore, but she’d ruled it out. The walls were clean, the roof well-made and kept. It was the kind of place that held a traveling merchant or a visiting chief—not the drinking binges of nightmen. But then why is it here in this township at all?

She still saw no light, but the sounds became clearer. She crept closer and saw hide coverings over all the windows, a hearth-hole bereft of ash. Then she saw the torches. They’d been doused in a watering trough a foot from the heavy door.

It’s them, thank you God, I’ve found it.

She reached for the door-ring and for the first time considered her appearance. Her hair was unwashed and unscented, her brown dress stained with dirt and sweat and who knew what else—even her brown apprentice shawl coiled like rope around her neck instead of fluffing up like it should. The thin, worn cloth she had no choice but to wear hugged her growing curves, and she grimaced at the thought of the men’s eyes.

They won’t see a priestess, she realized, but a young woman.

The wretches inside would see one more example of a thing they couldn’t have, intruding unwanted into their hallowed ground. Alone. But she’d come too far to turn away now. She breathed and grasped the iron at the door, hands cold but muscles filled, and she pulled.

Warmth and the smell of beer, smoke and sweat consumed her. Dark, mottled planks covered the floor, hardly visible under a layer of filth. Low-burning torches hung on the walls on iron catches, and one whole corner of the house was stacked with kegs.

The men noticed Dala all at once. They sat on smooth outer benches, talking and laughing with backs leaned against the walls, pipes or skins in their hands. They sat closer together than most men, shoulders touching and faces close as they spoke. They silenced and sat straight and stared.

Dala couldn’t be sure what she was dealing with, or how they’d react.

Men are like dogs and wolves, she reminded herself, show no weakness, show no hesitation.

She stepped inside and closed the door, heart pounding so loud she was afraid they might hear it.

One man at the far side rose. His open mouth was surrounded by thick, black bristles; he was dirty and dressed in clothes better fit for rags, but he was a statue carved from muscle, even handsome, and not at all what she expected.

“Who…”

“I sent Captain Vachir. I want to speak with you.”

She counted ten men, but the rest were nothing like the one standing. These seemed frailer, harder, with drawn and pock-marked faces like Meesha and his brothers. Many of their mouths caved and shrunk from gums missing too many teeth.

“Never heard of him,” said the speaker without jest, though some of the other men smirked. His voice was clear and confident.

Dala recognized faces from the river and was sure these were nightmen, and she suspected this was Birmun. She took a long moment to examine the room’s finer details, noting the good stone base of the square hearth, and the strong support pillars cut from single trees.

“Surprised we don’t live like animals?” The leader’s eyes squinted, perhaps in spite.

Dala turned to meet his glare, then looked away as if unimpressed. “Yes, I am. The captain is a good, loyal man and father and you shouldn’t have hurt him.” She dropped her heavy bag to the floor, then stepped slowly away and closer to the sitting men.

“I told you I never heard of…”

“And now you’ve lied twice and hurt a good man and that’s the only thing I know about you.”

Her vision blurred and she felt like she might pass out. The man’s lids raised, his head snapped back, and she stared at his eyes. “Perhaps I’m wasting my time.”

She spun and walked back towards her bag and the door, and she prayed, moving as slowly as she could without feeling obvious.

The man said nothing. She counted each long step, and as her hand touched the iron ring again she thought she’d blundered terribly, time slowing to heartbeats and coughs as all her plans gathered on a single gamble.

“What do you want?”

She let out her breath. When at last she looked back she summoned the love for her brothers—the genuine belief she had in wayward boys and damaged men, and she willed for him to see and believe it.

“I want to help you.”

He sneered. “We don’t need your help.” He thrust his hands out as if to gesture at the house. “Chief Suren gives us what we need. He keep our cups and bellies full.” He swayed and gestured at Dala with a smoking pipe. “The Order…the Order makes men slaves.” At that he drank from the skin in his other hand, and the men drank with him.

Dala hadn’t expected it to be easy. She pulled her hair back and swung it across her shoulder to buy time, watching the men’s eyes follow like hounds with a stick.

“Does your great chief feast with you in his hall?” She paused, knowing from their reaction she’d chosen well. “Does he introduce you to his retainers’ daughters? Does he ask if you want silver or anything other than that poison?” She pointed at the kegs, then softened her tone. “Does he show you even the slightest respect?”

The speaker glared at her like she was a fool, but said nothing, and many of the men looked at their feet.

“What is your name, son of Imler?”

“My name,” his face twisted. “We are nightmen, Mistress. We are rat-killers and shit-farmers and trench-diggers. My name makes no difference.” He took a heavy step forward and blinked at her. “I will sire no children, and die without remembrance. That is the way of things.” He drank deep and again the men followed.

His words and his manner. He’s like a chief.

Somehow he must have been taught or watched men of means for years. He took pauses, emphasizing the right words and sounds for effect, gesturing and waiting until he had his follower’s attention. Even Dala couldn’t look away, and she could see the other men felt no need to speak—that they trusted him to voice their objections.

He’s a stone waiting on a cliff, and his fall will bring down the others. He’s the only one I need.

She waited until the silence stretched to awkwardness. She stood calmer now, knowing in her heart that the goddess led her here to this man at this moment.

“With my help, that can change. One day you will walk the streets feared and respected by other men, and the gods will know your names.”

The ‘chief’ of the nightmen scrunched his drink-reddened face, then snorted. He sagged into a chair and drank again, burping as he tried to speak.

“We…have no wealth, except this.” He raised his wineskin. “We are forbidden to carry arms—not that any smith would let us in his shop. We can not duel or brawl with other men because no man of honor would accept.” Some of the men had begun talking amongst themselves as if the disturbance was over, and the speaker grinned viciously. “So tell me, priestess, whoever the hell you are and why-ever you’re really here, how should men like us earn glory?”

Dala seized the corner of her bag and flipped it, spilling the heavy, cloth-wrapped seax blades and bone-hilted daggers that had punished her shoulders. The sound of metal on wood silenced the room, and she stooped and lifted one of the cloth wrappings, holding it up for the men to see. They all stared.

Torchlight shone through the holes of her lifted mask. She’d bought the fabric in sheets dyed black from Juchi’s tailor, then cut large slits for the eyes and sewed rope at the neck to be drawn tight. She’d buy more, perhaps, from other tailors and make gloves, tunics and pants. But for now, the masks would do. Worn together a man would be all but invisible in the dark.

“I said nothing about glory. I said you’d be feared.”

She took a blade in her other hand and held it up, warming with satisfaction as the men’s eyes followed.

“Tell me, Nameless. Who knows this city better than you men in the gloom?” She paused and met his red-rimmed eyes, which had somehow sobered when she emptied her gifts. “How many in this city have wronged you? Treated you, their brothers, like nothing? How many such unworthy Chosen would have to disappear into fields and trenches before the title ‘nightmen’ took on new meaning?”

The speaker who’s name was maybe Birmun glared, but his expression had changed. Dala saw the starved and beaten shadow of hate in his eyes and hoped it wasn’t for her. She looked around the room and saw the war of cowardice and revenge in angry faces, the disease of spirit that plagued boys like Meesha and all the trodden every moment of their lives.

“Who are you? And what do you want?”

All trace of mockery was gone from his tone.

Dala felt the same purpose she’d felt as she faced down the wolf and survived. “I am Galdra’s true servant, and I say all men are equal under Her law. She dragged me through misery and death to find men like you. And with my help, you will rise.”

The mystery chief of the nightmen stared, his sharp blue eyes searching perhaps for trickery or madness, but she could see her words affected him.

This is your warrior, Goddess, I know it. This is the man. I will not fail.

“I want you to take these weapons and serve. I want you to help right the wrongs committed in Her name. And I promise you, if you should fall in Her holy service, you will be rewarded in paradise.”

Their leader straightened his broad, strong back and looked round the room, noting the slack-jawed wonder of his brethren. Dala saw nothing pass between them, but their mouths closed and clenched, and their wineskins seemed forgotten.

A hint of a smile formed on the speaker’s lips. He looked back to Dala, and she shivered as he spoke.

“Tell us your plan.”

16

“Oy, country-girl. Tabaya wants you. Private-like.”

Dala kneeled at the section of God’s river reserved for priestesses. The mid-day swarmed her, the swift, cool current of the water pulling her numb hands as she scrubbed dirt and sweat from dresses, shifts and stockings.

It was only two weeks now before the ranking ceremony, and Dala knew Tabaya would come.

She stopped humming and turned to face the ‘little matriarch’s’ messenger.

“And?”

Katka tongued the gaps in her teeth and made a sucking sound. She was stick-thin and freckled with close-cropped dark hair, and to Dala looked more street-rat than Galdric apprentice. From the whispers she was an orphan, too.

“Tell me where, unless you want to be scrubbing crotch stains all yer life.”

She jutted her pointy chin at dirty laundry, and Dala went back to her work to hide her smile.

“Tomorrow,” she said, “I’m busy now.”

She heard Katka grind a foot in the dirt and loose stones on the bank, the boredom in her voice replaced with something fiercer.

“Shouldn’t be showing yer back to me, girly. It’s today or not at all.”

Dala winced at the tone and knew she enjoyed petty rudeness more than she should.

No reason to goad the beast. Just give her what she needs.

Not for the first time Dala wondered how ‘Kat’ even became an apprentice, and how she wasn’t near the bottom like Dala. Must be clever, she decided, and very loyal.

Meeting so soon was a problem and Dala considered standing her ground, but the truth was she wanted this over. Juchi was in near panic not knowing her fate, the nightmen were growing restless, and every day of delay raised the chances of a breakdown in her plans.

“Sundown, then. I’ll walk to the watchtower closest to the compound. It’s always empty.”

Katka grunted in response and crunched away in boots too thick for her skinny legs. Dala went back to her work until the girl was out of sight. And then she ran.

The ‘Nameless’ leader of the nightmen was indeed the man Vachir described as Birmun. Dala learned—as she’d suspected—he was the son of a former Orhus chief. A chief who died in a duel to a younger man.

Birmun told her he’d watched his father’s lifeblood spill into the dirt, then watched his mother Choose the murderer over his father’s corpse. In one moment he was the son of a high-born matron with a bright and open future, the next he was nothing.

Dala left the apprentice’s clothes on the bank and hoped no one stole them. Her skin felt grimy from soap and dirt and sweat, but looking like a woman and not a priestess around Birmun no longer concerned her. In fact, it probably helped.

He slept in the same hall the nightmen drank in—it wasn’t far, and Dala had been there now many times. She walked quickly at first, soon hiking up her dress to run, leaping over thistles and stones but avoiding the road as long as she could. Birmun and his men would be asleep now while the sun shone, and it would take time to rally them.

She ignored the few townsfolk’s eyes as she jogged along the riverbank, feet sore from the boots that never fit right no matter how she adjusted or packed them with cloth. And as she did often when she had the time, she thought of her talks with Birmun.

“Why didn’t your mother keep you?”

They’d been sitting as always near the mound of kegs in filthy chairs—though Birmun cleaned hers with a rag.

He’d snorted. “I forget you’re not from Orhus.” When she still looked confused he tipped back the wineskin that was always in hand. “Boys come from a father’s seed. We were deemed weak stock.”

She tried to be gentle when she asked about his brothers, but he hissed in scorn.

“My twin is dead.” He did not say how. “The others ran, and I did not see them again.”

Dala tried very hard to listen and not to speak in their sessions. She didn’t know why Birmun was spared, and did not ask—guessing he’d sworn fealty then and there by his father’s corpse, and that it brought him shame. Now he served the man who’d destroyed his life and family, and lived in dishonor—the lowest of the city’s social ranking—and he carted waste in the dark.

“My brothers were fools,” he said, as if in explanation. “There is no glory in failure.”

His teeth had clenched, eyes set and undimmed, and Dala’s pulse thumped in her ears.

“Why do the other men follow you?”

He looked away. “They are shamed, Priestess, like me. No woman can understand.”

She thought of the cruel names the other girls had for her, and the hollow failure in her mother’s eyes when season after season of crop turned to ruin and her children starved. Women, too, know shame, she’d thought, but said nothing, and every night she could get away she sat with him while he drank, and every night it was the same.

This went on for weeks. At first it was only to convince—to finish what she’d started and patch the pieces of a broken man so he might serve her later. But as time went on, she wasn’t so sure.

When the compound slept she’d creep away and the guards would watch and say nothing. She’d return hours later and pass them one of the nightmen’s wineskins in equal silence, then lay on her hard-wood bed and think of Birmun’s eyes.

Such sure, quick eyes. And deep and blue and beautiful. I’m a fool, just like my mother.

In bed she’d think of his crooked smile and his wide, curved shoulders, and her legs would twist while she turned and never found the right spot to be comfortable.

She never spoke to the other girls in the compound unless she had to—except for Juchi. As always she cleaned and maybe cooked, scribbling runes she couldn’t read on hardened vellum, listening to the headmasters preach and explain the two years of serving a senior priestess if they progressed, listening to the girls as they gossiped and schemed. At meal times she took her plate and cup and sat on the grass alone, pretending to read scrolls of law amendments, avoiding the other’s eyes. And all the while she thought of Birmun.

She was just lonely, she knew. She had no circle, no family. No Meesha. Juchi was an obligation—another thing to manage, not a shoulder or confidante. Birmun too had begun as another task, but over the weeks something changed.

Their chairs moved closer together while they talked. Their looks lingered, their lips turned to smiles over nothing. Dala had expected to find another weak thing to lend her strength before it was useful. She expected each secret meeting by torchlight to drain her reserves as she propped and cajoled. Instead she left his company renewed.

“Why do you want to be a priestess?” he’d asked one night, swirling honey-wine in his cup.

Dala thought the answer would flow easy, but she fumbled. His sleeves were rolled back and she could see the corded muscle of his forearm and it took some effort not to stare. Because I’ve been Chosen, she thought, but couldn’t say that. It means safety and control over a chaotic life, she supposed, it means inclusion in the goings-on of the world that matters. But what she said—and what still felt like truth, was: “The world should be better than it is.”

It had embarrassed her to say, so she’d shrugged and tried to explain further, but found no words.

Birmun smiled with the corner of his mouth and said nothing, and heat rose to her face as she thought he was mocking her.

“Better than giving up and drinking myself to death.” She flicked her eyes at his cup and turned away, angry at being insulted, but more angry at herself for showing offense.

His crooked smile reached his eyes and he slid his cup towards her. “Drink,” he said. She blew air and tried not to look as flustered by his calm as she always felt. “Drink,” he said again, “and I’ll tell you a secret.”

She scoffed at that but grabbed the cup.

“In the South,” she said with more scorn than she intended, “liquor is so strong it doesn’t freeze.” Then she threw back his piss wine and swallowed three gulps, waiting and waiting for the burn to follow.

“It’s water, and a bit of honey.” He winked. “That’s the secret.”

She looked at the liquid and couldn’t quite understand. But when she did, the laugh seemed unstoppable, and she choked on the remnants of his water.

“The chief watches me,” Birmun explained. “He always has. He asks after me, spies on me. This house is his gift.” He gestured. “The wine. My good boots and gloves. I accept all and praise him. I stumble through the streets each morning as if drunk and sleep where I can be seen. And so his men tell him I am no threat.”

He’d sat taller, then, and spoken without his usual slur, and Dala saw him as if for the first time. Beneath the dirt and wild hair and untrimmed beard, she saw a strong boy with a quick mind who’d become a man. His crooked smile came from knowing something the world didn’t. His arms, chest and shoulders were thick and cared for with purpose, and he wore baggy clothes to hide it. She understood then why the nightmen followed him.

Every night since he was a boy they must have watched him work the trenches like a mule, hate fueling his muscles past all reason or endurance. Every night they must have watched and sensed a sleeping power, a terrible revenge—a secret plan. Dala felt it without knowing. She felt drawn to it, just as they were. To the nightmen Birmun was proof that old injustices were not forgotten, that lives of misery could hide something more and change with the tide. To Dala, he was proof the goddess had not abandoned this place. He was exactly what she needed.

“What are you waiting for?” she’d asked, meaning why hadn’t he gone after the man who destroyed his life. She hadn’t been judging him, but she was curious.

He’d looked at her with those eyes and said with no trace of mockery—“Maybe you.”

She couldn’t look away. Her thighs warmed and she admitted to herself why her nights were so sleepless.

It was against the rules, of course, though whether it was Galdra’s or the Order’s rules, she did not know. Nothing in the stories ever referenced celibacy. Galdra had not taken a mate, true, but this was not the same as forbidding it. The prophet could have been an old woman when she heard the goddess’ call—no one really knew her age. She could have lain with women instead like many priestesses did, or had the record of her mates and children culled from the records. It seemed unnatural for a young woman to refuse herself a union with a man. And foolish, Dala thought. The land of ash always needed children to replace the many who died in birth or before it, or who died in the cold before they were grown. Binding a man with love was the strongest tool of loyalty any woman had. Why not tie the chiefs to the Order in this way? It made no sense.

That night when Birmun shared his secret and looked at her like a woman and not a priestess, she asked the goddess for a sign of her approval, and two weeks later it came.

She’d gone out late with her pails as usual, huffing in fake distress as she moved past the guards in their mutual ritual of silence. She waited in her tower until dark and crept with the moonlight, opening Birmun’s door without knocking as she always did.

He sat in his usual chair at the far side of the hall, still and powerful, but this time the others were seated or standing in quiet conversation. At once she felt the energy of the room. Birmun had cut his hair and beard and cleaned his clothes, and he stared about the house like a chief in truth, weighing his retainers.

“Brothers,” he said when they’d noticed her. His voice was low but loud enough to carry, and Dala closed the door and leaned against it, transfixed.

“I watched my father die helpless.” He looked at the floor as if seeing it again. “His killer gutted and left him on the street in what men call honor, and for the first time I knew shame, though I could not name it.” He paused. “Shame, at first, that I was his son.” His jaw clenched, and his eyes glistened. “Later, much later, I felt shame for being too weak and afraid to help him. Too useless to stand and die by my father like a man.”

Dala felt the urge in every muscle to run to him and hold him in her arms—to tell him it wasn’t his fault and he was just a boy. But like the others, she didn’t move.

“Since that moment I’ve felt…tainted, and unworthy. I welcomed the darkness and the trenches and the scorn of strangers because I believed I was nothing. Though I am not single born, like all of you, I accepted this life. I accepted my disgrace and difference from other folk. I felt unfit for something better. I felt empty.”

He looked up at the others. Their hearts were as broken as Dala’s, she knew, for Birmun, and for themselves. He raised a fist and stared at it as if it held some answer. “But I have learned how to fill that space, brothers, and it isn’t wine,” he threw his skin across the room. “I fill it with my hatred. I fill it with dreams of vengeance.” He yanked one of Dala’s knives from a sheathe hidden behind his belt. “I will honor my father and brothers with this. I will bring myself the justice this place denies.” He raised his chin. “And when I am done, brothers, with God’s help and not man’s—I will have earned a place in paradise.” He waited and sneered. “Or if not that, then at least respect in Noss’ mountain.”

The men shifted and breathed with the weight of these words. Birmun pointed at Dala with his empty hand and lowered his voice. “Fate has called me.” He pointed back towards the wall and the city, then slowly met the eyes of the men in turns. “Will you stand at my side?” Silence stretched and no one moved, but the men seemed light in their seats. “Will you let boys born with everything call you cowards and dogs while you toil in their trenches?” Dala watched them close and saw the shame; the lowered eyes and balled fists and clenching throats. “Or will you show them you are men? Will you stand with me and punish those who deny us life? Punish those who have taken everything from us and called it justice?”

The torches spit, and a chorus of insects chirped in the night as the men stilled like corpses in the snow.

“I will.” One of the youngest sloshed his wine to the floor and stood.

“And I.” A man with no teeth spat, and some of the others growled.

“I say we kill ‘em all.” Another rose to his feet.

“E’ry last fuckin’ man!”

The room rose and Birmun matched their voices with his. “Will you shed blood with me, brothers?

Chairs creaked and clattered as the nightmen found their courage. Birmun held the moment and took some in his arms, trying to touch at least the shoulder of every man, saying they would begin here with only these chosen few until their deeds were known. Then he passed out Dala’s knives and masks, and they stood together and chose the names of walking dead men who would be found that very night. They donned the black cloth that covered all but their eyes, peeling back sleeves and tucking pants into boots the same as they would for a shift in the trenches. Then when at last they were ready and perhaps a bit more drunk, they marched out behind their leader. They marched behind the boy they’d waited to become a man—the boy who had carried them with his dreams of hate. They left their torches behind.

* * *

Dala waited hours for the nightmen to return. She tried not to think of Meesha and his brothers as they died, her ears strained and the night sounding huge and still. But no shouts of alarm intruded—no chiefsmen or fathers cried out in fear and betrayed her killers in the dark. At least none that she could hear.

As the night dragged, light breezes seemed like hurricanes. Every warning call from a night-bird sent her scrambling to the window, every insect click suddenly strange and alien and foreboding.

Then Birmun returned alone. He was slick and wet with water, and his skin shone in the hearthlight. He peeled off his blood-smeared mask and slumped at Dala’s feet, clean mostly of the grime of his work. Tears dripped down his cheeks.

“You’ve proved your courage,” she said, cupping his cheek, “and made me proud.”

She kissed his forehead and put her arms around him as she’d wanted so desperately in the hall. She whispered what he’d done was right, and necessary, and when his body stilled and his beautiful eyes shone with pleasure, she knew he was a true soldier of the prophet. He had been sent to do Her work as sure as Dala, and loving him was not a crime.

She pulled him wide-eyed to his filthy bed, her hands in his, stopping him from fussing over the dirty furs. She lay him down and undressed them both, touching every part of him, sliding her skin over his and squirming as she had so many times alone in the compound, this time the warmth and closeness coating her like the summer sun.

The world disappeared when he joined with her. There was no Goddess, no Galdric Order or winter or nightmen or wolves out the window. There was only Birmun and his hips and her legs around him and his mouth on hers as he thrust and moaned. When it was done and he lay breathing hard beside, she pressed her ear against his chest and listened to his heart.

Oh my Meesha, she thought, and held back the tears. We were too young, and the world too hard. She stroked Birmun’s hair and skin as her trembling stopped, and for the first time in weeks found sleep without discomfort, thinking as she did that for one night, at least, she was safe and alive, and hoped only her lover’s heart-beat filled her dreams.

The way he looked at her in the morning told her she’d acted correctly. She shook off the warmth and beginnings of love for him and locked it behind a wall of faith and will, explaining her body was the Goddess’ gift—and that it could be earned again.

Over the next three weeks Birmun and his men claimed at least twenty unworthy lives. It was not important to Dala who they were. The nightmen took the corpses apart and buried them in trenches or spread them with the waste in fields. They went from eager braggarts to workmen—from boys tumbling out words of success in rushed whispers, to craftsmen discussing their trade. With every night and every kill the men seemed to quiet and sit straighter in their hall, to drink slower and joke more. They learned a man could kill or die regardless of his station or influence, and she could see the world re-forming in their eyes, shaping to fit that knowledge and confidence until it no doubt warped beyond recognition.

In the light, Orhus went mad.

Widows and angry families crowded the halls of the chiefs mumbling of demons, or of men with black masks, or swearing to the gods that their fathers or brothers or mates would not have vanished without a word and something must be done. Dala heard all the gossip and news from the other girls or the headmasters who’d heard it through sisters and cousins.

She ‘rewarded’ Birmun for every night of terror, though the nights without him soon became torture. Even touching herself and imagining it was him was not enough, and she dreamed of his thick hand on her face and hair as she writhed beneath his weight, the flexed muscles and strain as he shook in pleasure, the softness as he held her after. But she did not give in. She never lay with him until he’d earned it—no matter how she suffered nights alone in the compound, moistening just at the thought of him so close, she knew he suffered more.

With Juchi’s silver Dala bought more cloth from different merchants. She fashioned it into tunics and pants, gloves and hoods, and the nightmen went from masked killers to monsters cloaked in darkness. They grew bolder, crueler, and soon blood and murder seemed the same to them as the human filth of their trenches. They killed sons and fathers, brothers and uncles and grandsons, and age or strength did not matter. They stabbed young men in privies; they slit the throats of old men stumbling drunk in the dark, or merchants who wandered home late and sodden, or early risers who wheeled their carts before dawn. It was whispered they killed even babes nursing at their mother’s breasts, ripping them away from screaming girls and dashing them on the wall. Dala did not know if this was true or not. It was barbarous and terrible and maybe true, yes, and Dala was the cause, but she knew there must be pain and suffering before a wound could heal. And soon Orhus learned to fear the night.

Chiefsmen began to wander the streets in armored packs. The rich barred their doors and windows and hired guards, and halls and great estates became fortresses ringed with stakes and spears and dogs. The chiefs themselves blamed savage herdsmen or Southern outlaws or well-known bandit leaders. But most of all they blamed each other.

Every successor, every loyalty and inheritance and beneficiary of death was scrutinized. Every possible man or woman who stood to gain from murder and terror was blamed. But no one ever mentioned the nightmen. They would accept a rabid dog could bite its master, but the whole pack at once? No serious man believed it.

The nightmen’s foremen were warned of disruption by the chiefs—they were told which nights would be patrolled and when and which rivers and which towns and to ‘keep an eye out’ and ‘be careful’ and ‘tell us if you see any men in groups’. The foremen smiled and promised and then donned their masks with knowledge of where to avoid patrols.

Birmun recruited more and more of his brothers. Some took up knives and joined in the slaughter, others became liars and supporters who covered work and kept quiet and the others soon called them the knifemen’s ‘shields’.

If a killer in black was injured in a raid he was secreted away by such men, his wounds tended while he was fed and cared for away from curious eyes. For their loyalty and support, the ‘shields’ were allowed to help choose the names of victims.

Are they as responsible? Dala sometimes wondered. Will they too be rewarded for their deeds?

The death toll rose and rose to a hundred, and perhaps more—Birmun and his most loyal lost track of their kills. Dala was sore and happy from so many nights spent in his bed, her duties at the compound coming and fading in her mind like dreams, the other girls and their petty cruelties nothings stacked on nothings. Days blurred with lessons and chores while she waited for sundown, and even the nights merged to a single thread of exploring love and pleasure with Birmun.

And then it was two weeks before the final ceremony. Summer was all but gone, autumn and harvest and storm-season sweeping the land of ash as the days grew ever shorter. The spoiled girls of the compound covered themselves in thick layers of wool, and Dala tried not to roll her eyes as they shivered and complained. She hadn’t been approached, hadn’t been included in any discussion of hierarchy or how the priestess’ ‘test’ would be handled. And then washing clothes on the bank of God’s river, Tabaya’s creature ‘Kat’ had finally come and asked for the meeting.

“I need you,” Dala panted as she stole in through the nightmen’s side-door, creeping over men passed out and huddled on the grimy wood.

Birmun blinked and looked at her eyes and stood from his furs to stretch, covering his hard muscle with baggy cloths. He strapped knives to his calves and forearms as if he were donning boots.

“Speak,” he said, “and it is done.”

She relaxed instantly at his tone.

He will not fail me. He will never fail me.

She ran a finger along his cheek, knowing he would see the love she felt. “Gather a few men.” She met his eyes. “Only the bravest—the most loyal.” She felt the thrill of fear then, or perhaps anticipation, as all her work and effort came rushing to a close.

Her warrior nodded but said nothing, back straight and proud—the living image of a hero from the legends.

“And Birmun,” she said, “bring your masks.”

17: 423 G.E.

Egil, son of Hillevi, woke up sick and alone. He vaguely recalled singing and playing while the men he traveled with stoked the fire and passed him wine. Now he rose in the careful way of the often drunk, testing each new angle of his gut and eye with steady breaths. It seemed he’d slept late. His band of traveling farm-hands had gone their separate ways with the light, sober again and drifting on to find work in prosperous Northern lands.

“Shit,” he said, though really only mildly concerned, trying and failing to recall which side of the Spiral he was on. Regardless he’d wander North until he hit stone and gravel, then follow that till he hit town. A skald was welcome anywhere.

For now he squinted his aching eyes and collected his gear, chuckling when he realized the men hadn’t even robbed him. His leather pouches were left undisturbed, his bow and lyre were where he’d put them, so he whistled and rose to his walk, letting the quiet questions of common folk like ‘where’ and ‘why’ fade away as usual.

Then he looked up. The sky swirled with white and grey cloud, consuming every speck of blue, and completely blocked out the sun. Egil blinked and looked again at the countryside, trying and failing to think of some other way to determine North. He glanced around the camp to see if some landmark would spark his memory. He looked for the other men’s tracks but saw only short grass and rock and didn’t know if they’d been heading strictly North anyway.

“Shit,” he said again, this time a bit louder, and with a bit more concern.

He could always wait until the sky cleared, he supposed, but in this weather who the hell knew when that might be. Plus he’d drank his wine-skin dry, his water-skin low; he had plenty of hard biscuit, but he needed a town or a farmyard with a well, or he’d die of thirst.

Ah, nothing for it. No need to worry.

He shrugged and picked the same direction the cool wind blew, and started walking.

It was fall already, and to Egil it felt like summer died soon after hatching. Darkness and its cold fell hours earlier than even a month before, and cold in the South and the Belt were monstrous things built from ice and snow and wind, and no sane man took part in it.

Even the beasts of the wild buried themselves beneath a warm layer of earth, or fled, or if they had wings they flew away, and Egil’s year looked much the same. He circled the land of ash as the seasons changed, hiding in a Northern hole of fur and wine and if he was lucky flesh until the thaw. He’d swaddled himself in fine sable and leather, wool and cloth, from boots to cloak, but still he hated the cold.

He whistled as he walked and might sing if the fancy struck. The thin howling of the breeze, chirping crickets, lonely calls of the coyotes—these things sounded like music to Egil, and he could hold their tune in his mind for years if he put it to words or fingerings on his strings.

But no time for that now. I’ll find farmland soon, unless somehow I’ve turned South.

If it was South there might be trees or just more bloody empty, rocky hills unfit for anything but sheep or goats or the toothless hicks who never left it.

He frowned at this thought and chastised himself. The South wasn’t so bad. Women here could tell a man she wanted him with her eyes, and their mates wandered in the wilderness for days or even weeks at a time. A few no doubt raised Egil’s children.

For now, though, such memories were unhelpful. He emptied his mind of everything but song and followed his feet, chasing them up and down all morning over a hundred grassy hills, each new horizon bringing a hope soon quenched. Never once did he see a road.

As Volus’ eye turned and started its hated droop, he knew other men might doubt themselves—might double back or change direction or fret. Egil only gulped down the last of his water and kept his pace. By late-afternoon his legs and feet were sore, his back aching from lugging his pack, but he hit the bottom of each new hill with renewed vigor. One more hill, he’d tell himself, just one more hill and I’m there.

“Shit,” he said and stopped on a peak, for the first time seeing woods in the distance. Trees meant he’d gone South, or if he was lucky, West, and if the latter then beyond or around the forest was decent farmland and then sea, and before then he’d perhaps find someone with a well and probably not die of thirst. But if I’ve gone South…

He kept walking, turning slightly to hit what he hoped was the edge of the dark, gloomy thing before him. Only the gods knew what beasts lurked within such untamed woods this far from civilization. But certainly they hid outlaws and outcasts, rotten men with rotten souls, sneaking as they did in every corner of the world.

As he crossed the flattened stretch between it and his hills, a light snow began. Fading yellow light seemed to make each flake glow, and some few melted on his skin and clothes and felt lovely and cool after his long walk. He knew of course if it didn’t stop soon, and he didn’t find or make shelter, he’d be wet enough to be miserable. But like most things this didn’t concern him.

Egil opened his mouth and caught fluffy pieces on his tongue. He watched the growing beauty in the tall, green spruce as they came closer, and the hazy air of icy clouds. Though he was mostly lost and the weather, if anything, grew fouler, he smiled.

“Things will be fine,” he said, and truly believed. They always had been. Every gamble Egil ever lost found new opportunity—every risk opened new paths, and unlike other men he had the courage to follow. Now as ever he pushed on without fear.

He’d been whistling when he heard the wolf howl. Like a horn, he thought, and hummed a tune in accompaniment, wondering idly if a man could train dogs to ‘play’ along for a crowd. I’ll have a chat with the first kennel-man I find, he thought. He’d always imagined traveling with dogs. But it would make finding hosts harder. And anyway, he’d never made the effort.

He looked around and saw nothing but grass, though the call had seemed close. The trees in the distance became clear enough to tell them apart, though his mind mostly worried on what he’d find when he rounded them, hoping on the edge he might not be noticed by whatever wretches lurked inside.

He blinked and startled as a rock moved in the yellow grass to his left. Then he saw the rock had lean, shapely shoulders that tensed at Egil’s gaze, and golden eyes that narrowed. The wolf who’d been a rock watched him from a patch of brown that matched some of its fur, but it did not show its teeth, nor did it growl, and Egil carried on without changing his pace. A single wolf poses no threat, he decided, it’s only curious.

A little while later he saw the second. This one looked smaller, darker in color, loping along in the distance, and it watched him and kept ahead as if ready to cut him off. Like cavalry, Egil thought at once, then shook his head at the comparison. He felt sweat on his brow and wiped at it with a sleeve, thinking the long walk was finally wearing him down.

The third wolf came close to Egil’s heels. He swung his arm back and called out to frighten it off, but when it didn’t he swore and picked up his pace. “Get too close and I’ll get you, stupid thing, ha! Away!”

They’re just curious, he thought again, maybe they’ve never seen a man. When I turn and scream at them they’ll scatter like the wind.

Still he jogged for some ways before he clenched his jaw and stopped, fumbling at the iron knife on his hip and almost dropping it before holding it out before him. “Ha! Fuck off! Get outta’ here!” He waved his hands and shouted and the wolves stopped and hunkered down, twitching and snarling now but not running away.

His mind went to his yew bow, tied and unstrung on his back. He couldn’t remember the last time he used it. And I don’t have any arrows. Then, being honest. I can’t aim worth shit.

Sweat pooled on his neck and trickled down his chest. His limbs felt weak and too long for his body, as if they weren’t really his. He’d heard of children dragged off into the woods by a hungry pack, but such stories were more like myths—the kind Egil told little girls around a hearthfire while their mothers nodded and smiled.

“Come on, little bastards!” He thrust the knife at the air and thought on all the times he’d never bothered to sharpen it. Then he saw the fourth wolf in the tall grass, and the fifth. They joined the others and formed a half-moon in the field, and Egil noticed for the first time they all looked healthy and unafraid, plump and patient. Maybe they’re man-eaters, he thought, with horror, maybe they’ve done this before.

He considered, without humor, perhaps there were less outlaws in the woods than he’d imagined.

I’m going to die by the mouthful, screaming. I’m going to be eaten half-alive.

Egil’s mind raced for some solution, some clever ruse that it always found when he faced disaster before. He could not out-run them, and they were not afraid. He could not bargain, nor charm, nor soothe or negotiate. He thrashed at the air with his knife again and screamed profanity, the pitch of his voice seeming high and shrill and unfamiliar. The grey-brown ‘leader’ that had found him bared its teeth and finally growled, the others waiting as if for the signal.

Egil’s eyes wouldn’t seem to stay still. They darted back and forth from the animals and all around him as if to find some new detail that might save him, touring the grass and hills, the forest, the sky...

Smoke. Is that smoke? Sweet merciful Seef let it not be more clouds.

Grey mist drifted not far over a hill-crest near the trees, almost hidden by the weather. There are no field-fires this time of year, he thought, desperate. Smoke must mean men.

His legs tingled as he twisted away from the half-moon of snarling teeth, and ran.

Even if it was outlaws that would just as soon rob him than help him, any man at all was better than a pack of hungry wolves. He would play his lyre and tell them ancient legends and soon find brothers where once there were enemies, and years from now he’d tell the story of how he’d once faced the flesh-eating wolves of Noss.

Egil ran faster than he felt he ever had. He swung his arm and knife behind him, hoping only to keep the hunters weary and away, and he prayed.

Let these witless monsters be cautious, Seef, and let whatever beautiful fools lit that fire still be there.

* * *

Ruka thought it right that people tasted like pig. Bitter, slightly stronger, pork, he decided, though he only knew the taste from Hulbron’s hall. Much better than squirrel, he decided, and it went well with the thyme he’d picked near the mountains.

He built a now-customary grave in his Grove—the dead helped with shovels of their own—and he inscribed the marker ‘Boy near village of Reynir’.

He stood back, waiting for the corpse to appear from his Grove mists and greet him. But the boy never appeared. Is it because I’m eating him, Ruka wondered? He shrugged at the others and hoped for some other afterlife for the eaten, but it bothered him. It felt like murder. “Thank you,” he whispered over the grave, as was his ritual with deer and rabbits and fish and all living things, then he put it from his mind.

He watched his small but healthy fire and the rocks and slopes around him as they dusted with snow. He’d already built a small lean-to, and it wasn’t his first time in these hills, so he’d remembered the lowest ground to shelter him from the wind. Now smoke rose and scattered away, pulled apart when it moved too high in the invisible current. Then he heard the dogs.

He cursed silently and seized his knife, bolting to a near-by rock for cover before climbing a rise to lay flat and watch the surrounding valley. No farmland grew here, and the closest settlement took a day by foot to reach. I should have been safe. He ground his teeth. They shouldn’t be here, no one should, a fire should have been safe. He blinked and put it from his mind, knowing it made no difference what he thought or what was likely or fair.

If it was hunters with tracking dogs or horses he’d have to leave his supplies and run. He could lose the horses in the woods, if they had any, and he’d stashed a few supplies. Supplies, yes, and traps. Even in his Grove he grinned.

The only danger was being caught by their animals in a sprint before he reached the trees, but once he made some ground they’d never catch him.

Ruka expected he knew the forests and rocks of the Middle-Way better than any man alive. They would have to take their time and track him and run through his traps and markers, and by the time they found his trail, if ever, he’d be far ahead. It felt like all his life he’d been running away, or chasing food, and he hadn’t yet found a creature on two legs or four that could out-pace him over distance.

He stayed still until he saw them—one man with a knife in traveler’s hides and gear running towards Ruka’s fire, a pack of dogs close behind. Why aren’t the dogs leading the man, he wondered, but remained motionless, scanning and waiting and watching for other dangers that did not come. He looked at his supplies and weighed the risks.

I can run, or I can kill him and the dogs.

He had little need for the food, but he was stronger and bigger than ever, and armed. He could likely take them by surprise.

“Help me!”

Ruka blinked and squinted, and soon saw the shape of the unstrung bow, the man’s chest rising from heavy pants, the scruffy wildness of the animals. After a pause, he almost laughed. He’s running from them, he’s running for the fire. No one’s chasing me. It’s just one man.

The safest thing of course was to let the wolves have him, maybe even ‘help’ them along, but Ruka felt a strange impulse to intervene. He stood and picked his path down to meet them, standing still and obvious on flat, stone ground between rises to be seen. It wasn’t often he had a man in his power.

“Help me!” the man cried again, just as desperate.

The stranger’s voice was deep and strong, though surely heightened by fear. He had a trim black beard to match his hair, and though it matted his face with sweat he still looked clean and kept. He scrambled within a dozen feet of Ruka and tried to stop, sliding on the rocks and falling without grace. From the ground he turned with a shaky hand on his knife, holding it like a man who’d never had to use it.

The hunters stopped more carefully than their prey. They stared at Ruka and snarled with bared teeth, ears tucked back and nostrils flared, a single step from violence.

Ruka felt no fear—he had argued with wolves over meat before. He took three steps forward with his eyes locked on the grey, lead alpha, and growled as loud and deep as he could muster. He roared and jabbed his knife and stepped forward again with bared teeth, rising to his full height and holding out his arms.

The wolves hunkered and stood still, but they did not run. Good soldiers, Ruka thought, they wait for the command.

Their alpha took his time, examining Ruka from head to toe, gaze drifting to the lost meal cowering in the dirt. He weighs the risks, Ruka thought, just like me.

It snapped and barked like a dog and turned, violence vanishing from his eyes as his lips lowered and covered his teeth, then he sniffed and stood tall and led his pack away without another sound. No trace of shame or lost pride, Ruka decided, waiting and watching them go, admiring the healthy fat and lean bodies, clear signs of success and strength. Wisely done, Grey-Mane, he thought, may you have many children.

“Imler’s cock.” The man dropped his knife and crumpled to his side, then flat on his back as he drew heavy breaths. “You scared ‘em, brother, how’d you do that?”

Ruka searched his mind for what little he knew about speaking to men, and he bristled at the word ‘brother’, uncertain if he’d been as wise as the wolves in saving some strange fool. He eyed the man’s pack and bow and remembered how ignorant people were. “I did nothing.” When he heard the depth of his own voice he realized he hadn’t spoken in more than a whisper in years, and it had changed. “They weren’t enough to attack two men.”

The stranger put his hands to his face as if to cry, but then he howled with laughter. “Thank you, Goddess!” he yelled like a lunatic, then rose up to a sit, turning to Ruka with something like a flourish with his eyes and head lowered in respect. “My name is Egil, son of Hillevi. I should like to thank…” he turned and looked at Ruka, and his mouth slackened.

Ruka supposed being gawked at shouldn’t have been surprising, or upsetting, yet he found it was. And he was caught off guard by the man’s name. Egil was one of the heroes Ruka had loved from the book—a great warrior who charged to his death without fear. Ruka walked back to his fire trying not to ball a fist, debating if he should just kill the stranger now and take his gear, or wait a little and see if he knew anything useful.

“I mean no harm.” The stranger said, much like Ruka had heard men speak to skittish horses. He stood and crept closer now with hands splayed and in view, his eyes weary. “I’m out of water, but I have food and other things, if you’re willing to trade.”

Ruka said nothing, only practicing throwing his knife into the straw chest of the man-target in his Grove.

“I’m a skald,” said Egil-Wolf-Meat, “a traveling teller of tales, a player of music.” He pulled something from his pack and Ruka almost rushed him. “You see?” He held what looked like carved wood lined with strings. It was clearly not a weapon. “I’ll play for you, if you like, and tell you stories. Great chiefs and Matrons pay for such pleasures in their halls.”

The thing in Egil’s hands looked hollow and frail, and he held it much more comfortably than the knife. The way he let his guard down and ignored his bow was also calming. The man looked healthy, but not strong; his hides and leather looked warm but not made for protection. This ‘skald’ was not a warrior.

“Do you know the story of your namesake?”

Ruka decided a story might be pleasant. He knew every word in the book, true, but perhaps there were other versions. He could always kill him after.

Egil smiled and Ruka was surprised to see he had all his teeth. They were almost white and straight and perfect like Beyla’s.

“Of course,” the skald’s lids drooped a little as if he’d relaxed, “but first a drink?”

Ruka shrugged. He’d found a creek not far away in the woods, and a few farmyards close enough with wells he could draw from. He checked his fire and stirred his pot, then extended his hand with a full skin. Egil reached for it, but hesitated.

His gaze had found and lingered on the half-buried corpse not ten feet from Ruka’s make-shift camp. They crept fearfully over the white skin spattered with blood poking out dirty from a carved up leg.

Ruka hissed and his guest’s eyes snapped back to meet him. “I killed that boy, and I’m eating him. If you want this water you’ll have to make peace with that.”

It was a long wait. Ruka could only wonder what happened in the other’s mind. He stirred his pot and listened to the wind. Does he weigh the risks like me and the wolves? How do other people think?

He’d had so few chances to watch his own kind or speak to them, but in the end they seemed little different than animals.

With a subtle nod, Egil at last took the skin. He sniffed then drank, tasting then chugging back gulps like a man well practiced in doing so quickly. His lids had stopped drooping and his back straightened with fear, and Ruka decided he was more like a rabbit or a deer than a wolf. He senses danger. He knows I’m a predator of his kind, and still he drinks.

Ruka thought of all the herbs he could have used to poison that wouldn’t have been noticed, or how easily he could have crossed the distance and killed him while he drank, and felt only disdain.

They said nothing for a time. Egil drank his water, and Ruka spooned boy-flesh into his mouth.

“I have food,” said the skald, his voice well controlled. “You don’t have to eat that.”

Ruka sensed the meaning. He sensed the disgust—as if eating the boy were some terrible hardship, or that it meant something more than what it was. He slurped down another morsel, a piece of muscle perhaps with a thin layer of fat. “Meat is meat,” he said, “many animals eat their own. And if I don’t eat it now, then I killed that boy for nothing, yes?”

The skald looked ill but mastered himself. “Who was your mother? How did you come to…this?”

Terror to curiosity in the blink of an eye, Ruka thought, and wondered if this, perhaps, was unique to men. There seemed no reason at all to answer, yet again he felt strangely compelled. “My mother was a Vishan,” he said, then slurped another spoonful.

Egil’s eyes practically bulged from his head. Ruka didn’t like the attention and stirred his pot, pushing some meat off a bone as he cleared his throat. The image of his mother dying in the steppes came uncalled, as it often did, and he tried to replace it with morning sunshine in her golden hair, but the image of both together felt grotesque.

“She Chose a man without the blessing of the priestesses,” he said, hoping the words would banish the images. “They were tolerated until the birth of their disfigured, single-born son, and then they fled South to a small village. They remained lovers, and one day the priestesses came and killed him. My mother sickened and died, and I was made an outlaw.”

He searched for more words but found his story finished, as if it were simple and easy to explain. It felt strange to say such things out loud—but stranger still that his story was so short. The whole misery of my childhood can be uttered and captured in a few words, he thought. And if it wasn’t so sad and unfair, it might be amusing.

The skald’s fingers traced noiselessly over his wood and strings, and though his face was still pale, he looked lost in thought. “So the blood of a god flowed in your mother’s veins, and her son is an outlaw. That’s quite a story, brother. What will you do now? Rob strangers for the rest of your life?”

What do you care? Ruka thought, followed by ‘yes’, and ‘don’t we all?’

“Imler was your father, not mine. Stop calling me brother.”

Egil paused, then nodded. What Ruka had not said, and did not have to say to any man of ash who saw his face, was that his father was Noss.

The skald plucked at the tight hairs on his hollow-wood with one hand while he held some down with the other. “Do you mind if I stay awhile?”

Ruka didn’t and said so, thinking why else would I have saved you? He kept eating while Egil made sounds with the strings and hummed, then the skald began to play and sing, and Ruka couldn’t help but watch.

His deep voice echoed around the rocks, his face and posture transformed as if he’d gained some new strength and courage. Despite his depth he could reach a high pitch, and did so as he sang of a beautiful woman that loved a brave man—about a boy they died to protect. He sang about old gods and the folly of men, the wisdom of mothers and the cruelty of power. The sound was sad, and slow.

Ruka’s mind drifted until he sat on a patch of green moss and mushrooms in his Grove. In the real world they grew only in the shade on the North side of certain trees, but in his Grove they grew anywhere. He made the singing fall down from the grey, sunless sky like rain and ring among the rocks and trees, wishing the real world were like the one he’d made. He soon felt tears on his face.

Why are there no songs in the Book of Galdra, Mother? Is music another weakness? Another thing to hide with all other tender things?

The skald had finished his song, though it kept playing in Ruka’s Grove over the wind. “What did you think?” he asked, his face with more color than before, perhaps, but otherwise without expression.

Ruka’s body ate calmly and had not reacted despite his Grove-tears. “You play well, Egil, son of Hillevi. But your story needs an ending.”

The skald curved his cracked, thick lips. “Thank you. Yes it does. How should it go?”

This seemed obvious to Ruka, but he supposed not every man had read the book. Every story ended the same. And so died soandso, son or daughter of soandso, and their body was returned to ash.

Men always died in battle, women died old and always in bed. But not my mother, Ruka thought, my mother died young and in a field, and her corpse was food for worms and crows.

He felt his hand move on its own to the pocket of his coat, but refrained from touching the hair inside.

“As all stories end,” he said, thinking first of his mother, then her family and Priestess Kunla, then the Lawspeaker and all cowardly jurors and cruel boys and everyone else, “in death.”

* * *

After his song, Egil asked to stay the night by the fire. Ruka was surprised and perhaps showed it because Egil said “Why should I worry? You already saved me.”

“Maybe I just saved your meat,” Ruka answered and kept his face blank, but the skald smiled and said he drank so much wine he’d taste bad, and Ruka said he could stay, even covering up the rest of the butchered corpse with dirt for his comfort.

They talked a little more as darkness fell, and the skald told him where he was born and about leaving his family to see the world. He spoke of his travels through the Ascom and some of the great chiefs he’d met. He asked no more questions, but Ruka told him his name and a little about his last few years—about his journey North towards more warmth, and his flight back South away from bigger villages, outcast hunters and their dogs, from chiefless men and their many dangers.

He was still weary, though, so he kept his body alert while he rested in his Grove by a fire. If Egil moved in the night, Ruka would know.

The concern was unneeded—the other man slept soundly, and Ruka’s body kept their fire burning through the cold. Egil woke with the sun in the morning and plucked and hummed with his ‘lyre’, as he called it, and Ruka broke his camp down, covering the fire and impressions in the dirt. He was ready to move on when Egil spoke.

“I…have a question, if you’ll indulge me.”

Ruka shrugged. He’d decided not to kill the man, but he did not need what a maker of music could teach.

“Did your Vishan mother show you to read runes? Show you how to write them?”

It seemed a strange question. “And if she did?”

Egil licked his lips and looked about the flat dip of ground as if someone might be listening. “Do you know how many men in the Ascom can read a rune? How many can draw one?”

Ruka didn’t and shrugged again.

“None, except the most common symbols, like those for the names of animals. Rune-shamans are the only exceptions, and every rune they draw brings them closer to the punishment of the gods, so they do so sparingly. In my years on the road I’ve seen only a handful of shamans alive. All looked in poor health.”

“What is your point?”

The skald blinked. “Drawing them is a very valuable skill.”

Can you eat them? Can you kill with them?

“Valuable to who?”

Egil laughed and threw his hands as if it were obvious. “To every chief in the world, boy. A sword is just a sword. But a sword etched with the right rune? This is a treasure—feared and respected by other men. The rich still seek shamans for runes of protection on armor, buildings, ships—anything of value.”

This all made little sense to Ruka. “Why not just ask the priestesses? They can read and write.”

The skald rolled his dark, round eyes but stopped as if he’d thought better of it. “Priestesses…it isn’t done. It’s…sacrilegious. Besides, the chiefs’d rather not owe them any favors, if you follow. Laws are supposed to protect men, not gods. And chief’s aren’t supposed to be collecting wealth, so how can they afford it, you see?”

Ruka didn’t, really. Men are superstitious fools and their laws are destructive, he reminded himself, it need not make sense.

“What are you suggesting?”

Egil breathed deep and blew it out. “This land of ash is large, boy. An outlaw easily forgotten.” He paused and let that settle. “We could give you a new name, yes? A new story. There’s no ‘order’ of Rune-shamans. You need only have the skill, perhaps a little…showmanship. But if you can do it right and etch a rune on a weapon, or armor, or carve one into a building, well, then they’ll believe.”

Silence stretched between them as Ruka considered. Perhaps he has more to teach me than I thought.

He knew somehow he’d lost his way over the years. He was getting stronger, bigger, but he still knew almost nothing of the world except the wilds. To take his revenge he would need more help than dead stable-boys and outcasts in his Grove could provide.

“So,” said Egil, his impatience showing, “do you know them? Can you draw any of the runes in the Book?”

I can kill him, still, if I need to.

Ruka picked up a knife in his Grove and carved a rune on his house—which was already bigger and warmer than the shack of his childhood—struggling a little with the curves. “I know them all,” he said.

Egil squinted his eyes and turned his head. “How many are there, then?”

Ruka felt a pang of anger at being doubted, especially for speaking the truth. “There are thousands.”

The skald’s squint only deepened. “Show me. Draw one in the dirt—and nothing common, mind, and don’t finish it—no need to test the gods.”

More superstitious nonsense, Ruka thought.

The ‘test’ made him think of his mother, and memories of her delight flickered in his mind when he’d first learned to read. He pulled his knife and felt the urge to plunge it deep into Egil’s gut, but instead drew the same rune he’d carved in his mind, this time on the ground, and improved on the curves. It was elaborate—Edda’s Mark, Goddess of words—and it had many meanings depending on the other runes that came before or after.

Egil’s squint faded, his set jaw slackening from skepticism to wonder, then concern.

“Did you finish it?”

“Yes.”

The skald put a hand to his face. “Damnit boy I said not to finish! Why taunt the gods so?”

Ruka blinked. “I’ve drawn thousands of runes. Tens of thousands. I finished them all.”

The man looked horrified. “Tens of…everyone knows you don’t finish them! It’s no wonder you’re an outcast! I’m surprised you haven’t been struck dead by lightning or lost your breath in the night!”

Ruka watched the genuine fear show plainly on the other’s face, fascinated. He thought of his mother dead in a field, her eyes rolled back, and tried to imagine that drawing in the dirt with sticks was to blame. “Well,” he said, “if runes taunt the gods, I will draw as many as you like.”

Egil collected himself and smiled with his perfect teeth. “Is that agreement? Will you follow me and try?”

Ruka nodded as if it didn’t matter, though this meeting was more useful than he’d realized. He considered the wolves that brought it and smiled. Thank you, Grey-Mane, I will remember.

The skald’s eyes sparkled with a thing Ruka didn’t know—maybe excitement or hope or greed, and he sharpened and stored the image away to examine later.

“Alright,” Egil said, rubbing his palms together. “First your name. It’s…Bukayag, now. Ha!” He clapped like he’d worked a spell. “The great seer himself, re-born!” He appraised up and down, as if this were the first time he’d really looked at Ruka. “These dirty clothes won’t do, no. We’ll need you wearing jewelry made from bones, I think, your face covered by a dark hood. And we’ll want to smear your skin with ash when there’s people around. Though that wild hair of yours, we might leave that.”

He seemed altogether too excited. “Shall I dig out the boy’s corpse?” Ruka gestured towards the shallow grave. “We could make a necklace with his teeth, and stain my face with his blood.”

Egil cleared his throat and his eyes lost some luster. Ruka hid his smile. “No. I think…no. Animal teeth… would be better. Let’s get moving, shall we? We’ll need to find the road. Do you know where it is? And we’ll need a village with a blacksmith, unless you know how to etch steel.” He cocked a perfectly shaped eyebrow, and Ruka shook his head.

“Course, yes. No trouble. I’m thinking North. Which way is North, anyway? Husavik shouldn’t be too far, and I’ve been there before. We’ll get you new clothes, maybe rest for a night or two in a bed and find the smith, but don’t worry I know him. Do you have any money? No, no of course. I’ll pay, but it can come out of your share once we’ve made some coin, yes?” It wasn’t really a question, and the man’s excitement seemed to grow again as he mentioned money, but this time Ruka let it go.

He considered his traps and other supplies in the woods and felt the tug of loss. But he could perhaps return later if things went awry, and he could always steal and make more. It was worth the risk.

Together they crested the hill and when Egil’s face blanked Ruka realized the man had no idea where he was. He led them North East towards the spiral—something Ruka hadn’t traveled on for two years. He led them past the thick cluster of pine and spruce that had protected him for a season, rejecting the feeling of exposure that gnawed at his spine. He led them to open ground, in broad daylight, and fought against his fear.

But he’d been thinking about what Egil said—‘an outlaw is easily forgotten’. And as he sensed the truth of it, in fact, he felt like a fool. Especially a boy, he’d said, and of course he was right. Boys grew up, boys changed, and even Ruka would look different. Who would know he was the son of Beyla, except the few people who saw him in his village? If he covered his Noss-marks, shrouded his face, how would anyone ever recognize him? And if he traveled far away, would they even care?

He lost himself in these thoughts as Egil prattled. His body had never been taught to ‘make conversation’ while he was away in his Grove, but he supposed he’d have to learn.

Egil said they’d pretend Ruka couldn’t talk except to quote the Book of Galdra—that is, if Ruka really knew it all? Yes. The man clapped his hands again, saying how he’d lay the seeds in villages, play at the chieftains’ halls for a night and earn them all the food and drink they wanted. And then, in secret, he’d tell them his silent companion ‘Bukayag’ was a Rune-shaman, and it would be an easy thing after that. It was a ‘foolproof’ plan, he assured. “We’ll both be rich in no time.”

Ruka decided not to tell him wealth wouldn’t matter when he destroyed the world. He went to his practice field in his Grove—just a clearing of dirt and grass surrounded by sticks and fake men to whack on—and told the boys and young men he’d killed over the years as an outlaw to line up and attack. There were nearly a dozen now, and the heroes of legend always fought as many at once and won, but Ruka couldn’t even handle the Farm-House Boys all together without taking a fatal hit—at least not without darkness.

As always, if he beat them, he allowed himself to strangle his Kunla doll. She hadn’t killed his mother, yes he knew that, but she had killed his father, and that made his mother weak enough that Ruka’s curse could finally destroy her. Killing her would not change things, he knew, but it was a start, and the thought of it made him salivate even now. He would kill her as cleanly as possible to keep her body whole, build her a grave, and then she would be his. He would kill her over and over and over in his Grove in every possible way. He would build a torture chamber just for her, and he would learn if the dead could scream.

“Glad to see a little excitement!” He heard Egil say. “Trust me, Bukayag, this is the beginning of a beautiful, profitable adventure. Just you wait and see!” Ruka reached up and felt his curved lips, thinking it odd they’d smiled without encouragement.

“Ah, yes, we can get you a shave as well, not to worry,” the skald put his arm wide and pat Ruka’s back, like a father assuring a son—or so Ruka imagined.

“Whatever you think is best,” he said, feeling an urge to split the man’s heart.

The pair walked for awhile finally without speaking. Egil hummed a tune, and Ruka tore the head off a wooden version of Kunla in his Grove, only to put it back together and start again. He drew his crude wooden sword and grit his teeth, and charged a pack of silent, dead boys.

18

Night came faster to Orhus now, but the star-gods painted the world in reds and purples that hid the fall’s darkness. Birmun, former son of Canit, looked at the colored sky and supposed it should be beautiful.

“Curse all women and priestesses,” he muttered and frowned at the lingering light, knowing he would never have chosen it for knifework but for Dala’s insistence.

Light of any kind meant clarity and fear—the clear horror of dark deeds that would come again in dreams, no matter how he tried to drown them.

“This way, lads.”

Birmun walked through the richest quarter of Orhus and tried not to flex his hands or stare at the dirt. Nightmen were not welcome here, but they’d changed into clean clothes and wore Dala’s seaxes on their hips in full view like respectable men. ‘New, young warriors,’ he hoped people might think, ‘come from the townships to find a great chief and make their names.’

“Stop looking down,” he muttered to his followers without watching them. He’d brought only three—the youngest, and healthiest he could find quickly, all of whom had supported him since the beginning. They were hungover but he made them each drink half a wineskin before they left. “Walk tall and hold your heads up,” he said with more force.

Nearly all the city’s chiefs lived here or close-by, and their warriors now loitered on every street. Merchants covered caravans in tarps for the night, not needing to lock them into storage as any other trader would. Long buildings much like barns formed the skeleton of this place. They stored the many provisions or riches of matrons and chiefs that would not fit in their homes, and each was guarded, though many would be mostly empty until the season’s harvest arrived. There were cellars, too, built underneath, which held foodstuffs more likely to go rotten, or rows upon rows of barrels of honey wine or wheat beer.

Beyond lay the city’s oldest houses and greatest estates. These were built in rings like the rest of Orhus, but held half or even less the number of structures, and many blocks were owned entirely by a single family and perhaps their servants.

Birmun kept his men to the sides of circles as they marched, hoping the buildings might shroud them from watchful eyes. His confidence grew as he realized they were ignored. With night close and the sky-lights blooming, many families were out in the streets now watching, eyes transfixed, children mounting their elder’s shoulders.

Giggles and laughter echoed around the circle. Older siblings teased younger, fathers and sons stood shoulder to shoulder, mothers and daughters smiled arm in arm, for a moment equals, breaking from busy lives to enjoy the night and the things they had.

Which is everything, Birmun thought. Love and food and children and houses, but not only in secret or only because they’d knelt in the dirt in shame.

His foot planted hard in the dirt, and he stopped breathing as he watched one family. He’d noticed the mother’s dark hair, long, tied with blue cloth like her blue dress. She was the right age. She had grey, wispy strands that broke away from her hair-tie, a good basket in her arm as she waved at serving girls to come and watch with the family.

She looked up at the nightmen—curious, perhaps, but not concerned, and Birmun breathed again when he saw it wasn’t her.

Of course it isn’t, her home is miles from here and on the edge of the city. She would look different now after the years, older. Don’t be such a fool.

“What’s wrong?”

His men put hands on their scabbards and glanced about and Birmun realized he’d stopped.

“Nothing.” He shook his head and remembered the price of failure. “Keep moving.”

Birmun knew his targets lived on the edge of the city, but only vaguely where and hadn’t met them. Dala had described their house in detail.

“It’s old wealth,” she’d said, “built up over the years. The roof is half thatch and half tile and shameless in size next to the others in its circle. There’s painted wood at the back in the old style, and the front is plain like the rest of this lifeless place.”

He twitched now at the memory, thinking that such displeasure and dark intent was wrong coming from a beauty like Dala. He didn’t know why she wanted them, and she hadn’t ever seen the men she wanted, but she had their names and general ages. Birmun hoped it was enough.

The light, though lingering, came now mostly from the hovering blue streams of color that swung like moving currents across the sky. The sun dropped and merged, tinting all with yellows and reds until the whole world glowed green.

His men stared and muttered about gods and fate, and Birmun wondered in annoyance what they thought of all the nights of color they’d seen as children where nothing else dramatic happened. For himself he knew only that darkness was a shield that made his men braver, and the light was a disruption.

Others still in the streets watched the heavens, too. This at least gave Birmun some comfort. Distraction, he supposed, might work as well as darkness.

He gave up caution now and increased his pace. He walked through the narrow streets connecting one circle to the next, ignoring stray dogs and children lurking in alleys under wooden coverings. Oblivious to the wonders above, he thought, just like me.

They walked for what felt like all evening. Birmun had surely been here or close as a child, but the memories were vague, and the city had clearly grown and changed since his youth. They walked until Birmun feared they’d missed and perhaps somehow turned towards the peninsula, but the long barns ended, and the circles gave way to fields.

Here there would be horse and land lords living with the richest matrons—women like Birmun’s mother and aunts, women who vied for power the same as chiefs and played their own games.

Finally he spotted his target, built just as Dala described. It was really more like five houses attached together, walls knocked down or cut, new supports built until a good quarter of the circle was one. She wasn’t wrong, he thought, it is shameless.

He gestured for his men and his heart quickened. Two guards stood at the front, and though they looked distracted by the show above they also looked like warriors. They wore real swords and chain links that covered them from neck to hip, leather hide along their legs, and round shields with iron bosses across their backs.

All of Birmun’s men were now killers—he had no fear for their resolve. But few were real fighters. They could brawl and gut a man sure enough, could saw through flesh and dump the pieces in the river or in a trench. But in an open street with swords drawn and eyes clear? These guards will slaughter them.

“Been years since I seen one like this,” said the taller of the two, and the shorter man whistled.

Birmun passed them by and tried not to look conspicuous. The townsfolk believed that nightmen stunk like filth—that wherever they went they were obvious—but it wasn’t true. They bathed in the river nightly, rubbing themselves and their tools down with lemongrass, and if anything they smelled better than the sweat-stained townsfolk who thought themselves ‘clean’. He took his men through the closest street, looking first to see that no one watched, then ducked into the alley. Together they shuffled through the narrow palisade, then the sides of the buildings and the well-built but mostly decorative fence, climbing when they had to.

The target’s house had no neighbor on the Northern side except shrubs and trees. Another fence was built the height of a man along its edge, more trees and perhaps a garden enclosed within. Past this there was road, a private stable, lush fields, and if you went far enough, docks and the sea, but Birmun did not care about the scenery. Travelers were allowed through here, though not at night, and that was all that mattered.

We will have to climb or break the gate, he decided. They’d enter the house quick and quiet wearing masks, scaring or wounding the servants if they had to, then take the two Dala wanted, or whoever else they could.

This at least was the plan. But not for the first time Birmun considered ‘failure’. He could turn around, right now, before the blood and danger, and tell Dala the family wasn’t there. And indeed, maybe they weren’t. He could walk without murder or kidnapping to the watchtower and tell Dala he tried but the house was ringed with guards. And maybe then she wouldn’t be a priestess. Maybe she’d give it all up and finally be free. Maybe Birmun would put aside revenge and hatred and together they’d move to a far-away town and start a new life.

He felt an eye twitch. That he could want such a thing as peace and family still bewildered him, but he did. Since Dala walked through his door, beautiful and brave covered in dirt and sweat and looked him in the eye without judgment, Birmun’s world began to change. He noticed things he hadn’t before. He noticed he was young and healthy and not in a cage. He noticed the taste of food and the feel of warm sun on his skin in the mornings after lovemaking. He stared in awe at Dala’s nakedness against him as she slept, and it filled an emptiness that wine or vengeance never could.

He clenched a hand on his seax and grit his teeth. It made no difference what he wanted, he could not betray her. She who had loved a broken man without honor and given his brothers a chance at paradise. Like them he would die for her here if he must.

But maybe…maybe if her goddess had what she wanted, maybe then Dala could just be a woman and he her man. In the day he would build her a house and work some meager patch of land, and at night he would fill her with sons and daughters and live in peace—he would toil in other men’s fields without shame until his family was warm and fed and happy, and together they’d forget the past. It could be enough.

For now he swallowed that dream and turned his mind to blood. The nameless future, whatever it was, couldn’t be built on Dala’s shattered dreams. It can’t be me who ruins her. It must be fate. Or it must be her goddess.

Otherwise every day she wasn’t a priestess she’d look at him and see only his failure. She would hate him, or grow to hate, even if she loved him too. And one day she’d slip through his fingers and leave him in his hollow house alone, and he’d have left his brothers and vengeance all for nothing.

No. Better to die than that.

He pulled at the gate and found it barred, then heaved himself up to look around. He saw cut, green grass, fruit trees picked bare, and garden rows of pruned and healthy roots. He reached over and unlatched the beam, a coldness growing in his gut as the wealth of the place consumed him.

Such people deserve misfortune, he thought, those who’ve not had their fair share.

“They will have heard the stories,” he whispered to his men, pulling blood-spattered black cloth down over his face and waiting till his men did the same. “They will fear us.” He met each man’s eyes, knowing they would follow him to whatever end. “And they should.”

* * *

Dala left the compound, rubbing her cold, clammy hands together and wiping the sweat on her dress. The sheer boldness of her plan seemed suddenly wild and ill-conceived, the risk great, the outcome unlikely. In her mind she saw Birmun tied and tortured as his men wailed and gave Dala’s name. She saw the Little Matriarch’s perfect smile as the Order threw Dala out into the cold, then accused her of murder and heresy and did God knew what.

“Don’t stay out too late, Mistress.” One of the guards whose name Dala couldn’t remember nodded in respect then winked. He was older and likely never handsome, but Dala smiled at him. Most priestesses would have him whipped for such familiarity.

She walked through the still-cluttered rings of Orhus feeling as if her guilt and crimes could be read on her face.

What if all I accomplished here was getting a good man and his miserable followers killed?

She thought of the nightmen’s victims—no matter how deserving—and wondered if all she had to offer was death.

In the dark, dirty corners of the city, homeless children stared at the merchant stalls. They would be from poor families, single-born, or deformed—the city’s version of Dala. Here though they were normal. They begged and stole and ran from chiefmen, ignored by anyone they weren’t trying to rob. Most would be missing fingers and toes, noses and ears shriveled from winter nights huddled together for warmth but never finding enough. Most would certainly die before they were teens, taken bit by bit from sickness or weather while they starved. Women avoided even looking at them for fear of being tainted by their curse.

Dala still didn’t know what she could do for them. She knew only that wealthy merchants hawked or lived not fifty feet away with empty rooms and food to spare in grand houses. She knew the dogs and horses of rich matrons ate better than the poor, and she knew the Order did nothing. She thought with some bitterness it was only the luckiest of these children who became nightmen. Any work at all was better than begging, stealing and starving.

Nearly all the wretches she saw were boys, which wasn’t surprising. Orhusianers discarded their unwanted sons in particular. The strong survived and lived unheeded in squalor, then Birmun and men like him saved and apprenticed some to butcher animals or empty the city’s waste. The girls found a place in a matron’s home, or they died. And on and on it went.

If the goddess truly ruled this place, she thought, things would at least improve for them.

It eased her mind and hurried her towards the tower. It was evening now and the sun should have been low, but shadows mingled strangely at her feet. She looked and gaped as colors crept across the horizon like frayed rope, wrapping and blending as they faded off into the South. She’d seen something like it as a child, but never this vivid, never this close. Even the sky is more beautiful in the North, she thought bitterly, but then her pulse thrummed. Perhaps it is a sign. Do you speak to me through the heavens, Goddess?

Warmth crept down her back, the heat of faith driving away all thoughts of winter. I’m sorry I doubted you, doubted your plans. My life and everything I am is yours.

The old watchtower pierced the sky-streams and clouds like an iceberg poking from the sea. Dala raced through the crumbling doorway and up the stairs to look out from higher ground, standing still and closing her eyes in prayer for Birmun. Then she stared hard at the fading sun, despite the spots it put in her vision. He should be here soon, she thought, and tried to control the dizzy fear that followed. She practiced what she would say to Tabaya and what the response might be. Despite herself, she practiced, too, what she would say if Birmun never arrived.

She could still bargain without him, of course—could still use the threat of destroying Tabaya’s future to win a place as a priestess. It would be a victory, if not a total one. Even if my nightmen fail, she decided, they won’t betray me. The goddess wouldn’t allow that. Their deaths would delay her plans, certainly, but she had come too far, survived and learned too much to fail. There would be other servants. When she was a priestess she would command even more respect, have more access to chiefs and wealth and information.

Volus’ single, lidless eye slipped further beneath the world, and Dala watched and waited and wrung her hands till they ached. Her mother once told her light rose first on Turgen Sar, the Mountain of All Things, and that the great burning god hoped each day to see Zisa’s beauty again. Her jaw clenched at the memory because she expected it wasn’t true. You taught me the wrong things, Mother, then you died and left me with nothing. Worse than nothing—you left me with him.

For years she’d tried to forgive her father as she’d forgiven other ignorant or cruel men. But she’d found she couldn’t. He’d been healthy and fortunate—he’d found a good matron with land and livestock and somehow it was all ruined in his care. Noss was partly to blame, perhaps. She knew that now. The mountain god had likely tried even then to stop Dala before she served his enemy, turning his evil will against the land. But the lazy, useless, excuse for a man that was her father must have made destruction easy.

Her mind snapped to the present at the sound of footsteps. She wanted to call Birmun’s name but dared not, creeping instead to the inner edge of the stairs to look down, blinking and seeing nothing in the dark. But the light step of a girl in good padded boots was obvious. Then Dala saw the shawl.

She considered staying hidden to buy Birmun more time, but she couldn’t know how long Tabaya would wait, or if she’d come up the stairs looking. I could pretend to be lost in prayer, she supposed. But it wouldn’t do to start the meeting with her back turned, rising up from the ground like a servant. In the quiet echo of the stone chamber, the claim would ring false anyway.

She breathed and rose to her full height. Give me strength, Goddess, and guide your servants here in safety.

“Tabaya,” she said loudly, and smiled in genuine pleasure as the girl flinched and spun, “I’d feared you lost your nerve.”

The ‘little matriarch’s’ face was smooth, despite her surprise, and her instant calm was infuriating. She nodded in the slightest show of respect. “I belong in this city,” ‘unlike you,’ she didn’t have to say, “I don’t fear to walk the streets at night.”

The girls assessed each other from head to toe, though Dala lingered on the other’s face.

You are such a waste of beauty, Tabaya.

Her hair was thick and dark, her skin smooth and tan. She had good teeth hidden behind full lips, though she rarely smiled, and her large, brown eyes were lifeless and half closed, as if the all the wonder of the world simply bored her. The ‘little matriarch’ shook her head and was the first to look away. “It’s a shame you know, you’re really quite pretty, and you have a…presence, that might have been useful.”

Dala blinked and tried to get her bearings. What does she mean ‘would have been?’

In any case it would be wise to play along to buy Birmun more time—small talk and idle threats could take quite awhile.

“Flattery is for Northern brats. In the South we speak plain.”

Tabaya didn’t react. “Is your little pet with you? What’s her name again?”

“Her name is Juchi.” Dala feigned annoyance. “And no, you’ll just be groveling to me.” She smiled with only her lips and tried to look out through the tower entrance for Birmun, but it was too dark. She noticed her enemy’s eyes roamed the tower.

“Oh, there’ll be no groveling, country girl. At least not from me.” She turned as if speaking to someone behind her. “I think we’re safe. Come, my dear.”

Before Dala could do much but feel confused, footsteps crunched through the gravel walkway and into the tower, and another figure entered the gloom of the crumbling stone roof. Dala still thought desperately it might be Birmun, but it was too short, the shadow no taller than Tabaya, and as it moved forward to the girl’s side she didn’t look alarmed.

“You remember Katka, country girl.” Tabaya lifted her hand and ran it through the newcomer’s short, dark hair, brushing a greasy clump behind her ear. “She’s going to kill you now.”

Dala heard the words but didn’t quite understand.

“Tomorrow when your body is found we’ll blame the men in masks, I think. The cloister will show all due shock and grief.” Here Tabaya raised her hands as if outraged, but her face didn’t change. “‘A woman!’, they’ll say. And perhaps the Order will ask the chiefs for proscriptions as they did long ago, or execute outcasts in public.” She stepped forward into a patch of windowed moonlight and met Dala’s eyes. “But years from now, with my real sisters, I’ll say ‘Remember Dala?’ and we’ll all toast to your corpse and laugh about the scarred up Southron prude that tried to be a priestess.” Her seemingly frozen features cracked into the slightest grin. “She’s all yours, Kat, no need to make it quick.”

The girl slunk forward like a beast sniffing meat. Her brown Galdric dress and shawl were replaced by a thin shirt and pants stained with dirt, and she had a long, rusty knife in her right hand. She slapped it against her thigh as she licked her lips. In the pale light her lean shoulders and sinewy limbs were obvious. Her body transformed—the legacy of a half-starved street-rat, hardened and aged from years of bare survival.

Like Meesha, Dala thought, horrified, she looks just like Meesha.

Dala backed away. “Don’t…” She looked for more words but found none. By every law under every god in the Ascom she was untouchable. This was not possible. Her face burned from the shame of her fear. “Don’t…don’t let her make you a monster, Katka. You’ll burn…you’ll burn forever for this.”

The girl smiled, her free hand opening and closing as if it were cramped. She was no older than the other girls, but so drawn and dried she seemed a decade more. Dala knew her life was no doubt an unbroken tale of misery, that she was not so different than Meesha and could still be loved and saved.

But her eyes. Her eyes.

They were bright blue like Birmun’s, and they were eager. They held no fear or distaste. She didn’t look back at her master for a nod or a sliver more of courage.

“I think I’ll rip off that dress and see yer teats, first. Then I’ll cut and slide off yer pretty scalp.” She looked at Dala’s hair, “You’ll make a lovely wig.”

Reds and greens flickered on the girl’s features as she started up the stairs. Dala’s mouth went dry. Her head felt heavy and her vision swam as it had when the wolf killed her boys. This can’t be happening, it’s not possible.

She wanted to call out for Birmun but knew in her heart he wasn’t coming now, that he was dead or running and failed her, and she was truly alone.

She’d never been in a fight. She hadn’t remotely conceived of the depth of Tabaya’s blasphemy—the depth of her corruption. She hadn’t planned for this. Her fingers felt cold as they reached up to touch the ugly scar on her cheek, and her jaw clenched.

You won’t have me, Noss, damn you. Curse you. You’ve failed so far, you’ve failed at every turn and here I stand. You’ll fail again today.

She felt the trappings of her whole life of misery binding her as if in some awful dream. A trembling rage rose from some deep pit she didn’t know she had, messy and aimed at nothing and everything—anger at Tabaya, at this wretched creature with the knife, anger for a life of setbacks and hardships and near successes never bearing fruit. I curse you and your evil children, Noss, yes I say your name again without fear, and you won’t have your victory now or ever while I draw breath.

Her hands balled and she stopped on a wide stone platform that connected the two stairwells. There was no railing. There was only a hard wall to her left and a harsh drop to flat stone on her right. She waited till the murderess came close—till her last few steps would bring her to the platform.

Dala felt the knot in her throat break all at once, bursting like a damn as a river flowed through. These women…these things betrayed their sex, their sisters, their God. It was beyond blasphemy, it was contempt for everything good and holy and sacred that kept the world from chaos.

She blinked to clear the spots that blurred her vision and saw the tower anew. Gone was the street-rat turned killer by a rich girl’s schemes—gone even was the ambitious apprentice and wayward sister below. Now all Dala saw were monsters. The Goddess’ light showed them for what they were—scaly flesh and red eyes glowing in the dark like a skald’s myth around a hearth-fire. She spoke the truth loud enough for them both to hear.

“I see you. I see what you are.”

The devils had the nerve to smile, fangs sharp and cruel as their eyes. Dala clenched her jaw and met the demon-street-rat’s evil gaze.

“I am Nanot’s avatar, fool. Now I send you back to hell.”

The creature narrowed its eyes, head quirked and feet pausing, surprised, if only for a moment. Dala lunged for the knife.

* * *

From the moment Birmun entered the house his plan turned to shit.

Twin boys no more than nine sat in the back entrance lacing up boots, looking up at Birmun’s mask as he pushed through the door, then looking at each other, and then they screamed.

Birmun seized the first and thrashed its head against the wall, wrapping his hand around the neck of the other to choke off the sound. He lifted both boys and tossed them to his men. “Keep ‘em quiet,” he hissed, and didn’t much care how.

“Boys! No fighting!” A woman’s voice chastised from another room. Footsteps and other muffled voices came through the walls, but there was no stopping now. Birmun drew his knife and lurched past the dozen pairs of boots and coats that filled the narrow entrance, another door barring his way beyond. But it had no latch and he pushed it open with his palm.

Here he saw teen girls cutting vegetables at a round table. The room was cool, hearthless, stocked full of wooden crates and cluttered with the garden’s produce. The girls looked lower class, their backs turned, chatting and oblivious. They must have been used to people and noises in the house.

By the laws of gods and men Birmun could not harm them, but they would run and scream and rouse warriors in every direction. He and his brothers would fail and probably die, and Dala would be ruined.

He felt sweat form on his brow, the filthy cloth mask sticking to his skin. He thought of Dala’s future in tatters and the shame of his own fear as the cause. He felt his feet move as if on their own.

“Scream, and I’ll cut your throat.” He had crossed the room, wrapped his knife-arm around the closest girl’s chest, and pulled her head back with his other hand. His gut flipped as if he’d fallen from a tree.

Her sister jerked away and shook, eyes wide and mouth hanging in incomprehension. Birmun knew his men would be almost as shocked. They had all killed and done terrible things in the night, but they had never hurt a woman. They’d never risked the mountain. But if I keep bold and ruthless now, they might still live.

“Where is the matron’s Chosen? Where are her sons?” He hardly recognized his own voice. He’d meant to show a quiet menace, but he sounded like a man dying of thirst.

She looked at the boys in Birmun’s men’s arms, and he twitched in annoyance. “Where are her older sons?”

Her face paled and she shook her head. “I…don’t…please, we don’t know. I haven’t seen them.”

Birmun had no plan now except to push on. He felt the same growing energy, the same frantic madness he felt on every night of blood. He’d make the girls hide under the table, perhaps, and search every room. He didn’t have to hurt them. He’d have to leave one man to keep them scared and quiet, perhaps, but it would do.

“Let her go.”

A brash male voice filled the small space, full of confidence and contempt.

Birmun twisted to face the sound and saw a young man guarding another doorway. He was tall and well-fed, a wispy beard covered his square-jaw, and he carried a rich man’s sword of polished iron. He wore no armor, and for a moment Birmun dared to believe he had the good fortune of finding his target alone. Then another door creaked, and an older man stood behind it with an axe.

“You won’t hurt her,” said the elder, his voice firm and certain, “so take off that mask, and die like a man.”

Die like a man, Birmun thought, like my father did? He glanced at his brothers, they looked back at him, and no one moved. The girl in his arms tried to pull gently away, as if the old man’s words had become reality. Birmun felt his jaw clench and his grip tighten. He heard footsteps and voices—more men approaching to stand behind their master, and he wondered if somehow he’d been betrayed, spotted before, or just unlucky. He looked at the teenage girl whose fear seemed half replaced with annoyance, as if her escape was just a matter of time and all violence the dominion of men, and she nothing to do with it. You’re so sure, he thought, you’re all so god damn sure of the world and your places in it.

He breathed deeply, oppressed by the fetid air in his mask. He slid it off and ignored the reactions of the others while he closed his eyes and pictured Dala’s sleeping nakedness at his side. I have lived, he thought, however briefly, I have lived. His gut ached for the young brothers he’d brought to die, and the others who would be hunted once Orhus realized who the masked killers were. But that couldn’t be helped now.

Birmun looked at the young man’s sword, the father’s axe, and the easy way they carried both. He looked round the cluttered room, the narrow spaces between crates and tables and chairs. Then with comprehension he almost laughed. The whole room waited for him, and he thought with enjoyment this might be the closest he ever came to feeling like a chief.

“Tell your prophet,” he said to the girl, loud enough for all to hear, “the sons of Imler say hello.”

She started to mumble, to likely say “Yes, of course…” and agree with whatever he said—anything to get away. Then he pushed her towards the father and pulled back on his blade, sawing through flesh and gristle as he put his foot on her back and launched her forward. Blood sprayed and dotted his face, spattering on the wall nearest his knife.

He did not wait for a reaction. He charged at the son and reached for his arm, knowing the space was too small to swing such weapons properly, all his thoughts of capture gone.

Other men screamed and fought and Birmun ignored it. The young man caught the dying girl with one arm, and Birmun held the other as he stabbed, hitting his foe’s chest hard and yanking back his iron just to plunge it again. As he murdered him, he saw it was just a boy behind the clothes and arrogance. He’s no more than fourteen.

When the youth tried to lift his heavy sword and failed, he froze, staring at Birmun as if the death he watched was not his own, grunting as the knife jerked through his neck, just above the collarbone. Birmun heard the father’s fear and cries as he tried to push through and help his son, but the nightmen stopped him. They fought for their lives at the doorways, stabbing and pushing at whatever tried to enter.

When the boy fell Birmun saw another behind. He was perhaps ten and holding a butcher knife. Birmun killed him, too, thrashing him against the wall as he stabbed at his gut. He pushed forward into the hearth-room and found two women holding infant sons. They looked at his face, paralyzed, and he took the poker from the fire and beat them as they cried.

“Help us!” he thought he heard, feeling a snake of fire that coiled around his mind, burning back to his childhood to find the screams as his father bled into the street.

‘No one is coming,’ he wanted to shout, ‘no one ever, ever comes!’ But he couldn’t stop swinging the long, jagged poker, and his ragged breaths stole his words.

“Birmun.”

He stopped and looked back to see his brothers soaked in blood, staring at him from the doorway.

“We have to go. One of the guards ran.”

He dropped the poker and turned, not looking at the state of the women or the infants they’d held, thinking he should feel fear and shame and horror, but didn’t. But I don’t want to look at them, I don’t want to see.

“We’ll take the heads,” he said, stalking back to the boy’s corpse and lowering to the task. “Get the father.” He commanded without looking, and his brothers went slowly.

Birmun heard the sounds as his men took their grisly prizes. It was nothing new—they had cut dozens of corpses to pieces and spread them through the fields and trenches, but somehow in the light it was different. Birmun only hoped they would be enough for Dala.

He stuffed them into hemp bags that had just held potatoes, then re-donned his mask and watched for danger at the back door. He had to step over two corpses—more boys, more teenage sons that must have been watching the lights with their father and come in together to die to his nightmen. They were unarmed.

But we had no choice. They’d seen us and fought back and it’s for Dala and the Goddess. We had no choice.

Together he and his brothers stepped out into the garden and the brick walkway that led to the open fence, hearing shouts and men swarming the streets, then throwing open the front door of the dead man’s house.

“At the back! Three of them!”

The road North now held men with good swords and bows, and an arrow whistled past Birmun into the freshly painted birch fence.

“Run,” he whispered, then sprinted for the alleys, knowing the chiefsmen would have never even stepped foot inside a circle corner—knowing that nothing in the world was as safe for men like Birmun and his brothers as filth, darkness, and forgotten things.

* * *

Dala panicked when she lost track of the knife. She’d managed to seize the demon’s arm and pull it off balance, but it regained its footing and they struggled then fell to the edge of the platform.

All words and thoughts fled from her. Only hard, cold stone and iron existed.

She’d fallen sideways, hip then shoulder slamming down with her hands and balance occupied, and the creature fell with her, panting, fetid breath blowing into her face in waves. Its skin was oily and slippery to hold.

Dala’s head jerked back as the creature pulled at her long hair, but she didn’t try and stop it.

Pain is nothing, hair is nothing—only the knife matters.

She saw it lying flat beside them, dropped in the fall. She let the creature slam her head sidelong into the stone and claw at her face and jab at her eyes as she crawled—it didn’t matter.

She splayed her legs for leverage and shifted an arm to make space to turn. The creature was strangling her, then twisting her other arm and trying to force it behind her back. She let it. There was only the stone and crawling a few inches more until death could flow from her fingertips, then she cried out in pain and triumph as her hand slid across the weed-pierced slab and grasped at sharp metal, and salvation.

The creature screamed and thrashed Dala against the platform, jerking her arm up behind her back so hard she thought it would break. But she had survived her father and hunger and Southern winters and the wolf. She wasn’t going to die here.

Dala turned the knife so the blade faced backwards, feeling for the weight of the creature on her back and the angle of its legs. She let her trapped arm shift further out of place as she fought for leverage, sending a fresh spasm of fire down her body as the joint bent. Then she thrust down at the demon’s thigh with all her strength.

The knife stopped and she thought she’d missed and struck the stairs, but the creature jerked and howled. Her grip lost strength, and Dala arced her back and threw her head like a club, connecting with something soft, the impact blurring her vision. Her held arm finally released, she shrugged the monster off and spun, diving with her knife raised to stab at any exposed flesh she found. Her vision pulsed with her heartbeat. Blood and tears blurred her target. Her left arm and shoulder hung in agony and felt useless, but she cut and stabbed wildly.

She saw the creature’s eyes—red orbs glowing in the darkness, trapped behind failing flesh, and she saw fear.

“Go back to your master,” Dala hissed, feeling the justice of the one true god as thunder in her ears. Then like Galdra on the mountainside she plunged her dagger down into its belly, and like Imler it slumped against the stone in defeat. Dala stabbed again and again until the howling stopped.

She breathed in the victory and felt no pain, and then she rose, and stumbled. She felt blood leaking down her neck and arms, mingling with her stained hands to drip down the knife and pool on smeared stone. Her lips and cheeks swelled and one eye was closed, but she turned to look down as best she could on the tower entrance.

Tabaya was watching her. She hadn’t moved. Now even the darkness failed to mask those demon eyes, and Dala marveled at not seeing them sooner. Somehow this became funny, and when the laugh came she found she could not stop it, though her ribs and arm ached from the spasms, and pain consumed everything except the red light that flickered in the window. “You’re turn,” she called, sounding almost amused, though this was not her intention. She put one shaky leg in front of the other and descended to the tower floor.

“I…I…” the demon’s scales blurred, the lines between them fading into the smooth, pale flesh of a terrified girl. Tabaya stepped away and stumbled on the uneven cobblestones to land on her knees. Dala felt only scorn.

“You can’t hide, not from me. Not anymore.” The mirth vanished and she stepped closer and raised the knife, knowing she could never explain this to the Order—unsure even of how she’d deal with the corpses and her wounds and what became of the nightmen. It no longer mattered.

“I’ll make you a priestess. Anything…anything you want.” Tears formed in the demon-girl’s eyes. Her skinned knees bled and her prone body twisted round to look up.

Dala felt no pity for her, no mercy. She’d always known Tabaya was corrupt—another vestige of a failed, destructive view of Galdra’s teachings. Had things gone to plan, Dala was prepared to work with her for the greater good—leverage her influence or perhaps just learn all she knew. But not now. The knife handle felt heavy as her focus and surge of strength waned. A quiet voice told her if the demon fought back, she almost certainly couldn’t beat it.

But she couldn’t trust it now to keep its word. She couldn’t allow a pawn of chaos to walk free and sow its evil, knowing what it was.

How deep does the corruption go, she wondered? Are there priestesses who serve the mountain god in truth? Prelates? Archons? The Matriarch herself? The thought was sobering, and it let the pain and fatigue of her body intrude. It’s too much for me, she realized. It’s too big and I’m just one scarred up farm-girl who can’t even read.

She felt alone in that moment, utterly alone, the immensity of her task consuming all ambition and hope it could ever be accomplished. She leaned against the cold wall and closed her eyes, holding back the sobs that threatened to shame her. “It’s too big,” she whispered, “it’s too broken.”

If the demon or the Goddess heard her, they made no sign. There was only her and the stone and the darkness, and she thought perhaps thats all there ever was. Then the night rippled with the sounds of footsteps, and like a wave folding on a rocky shore, a man emerged as if from nothing.

“Birmun,” Dala breathed, the last of her strength fading as his came closer. He stepped from the shadows and caught her as she slumped.

His eyes roamed her battered body, flashing with emotion behind the mask. “I bring gifts, Priestess.” He stepped away when Dala steadied, revealing a hemp sack stretched low from its contents, dark liquid staining the bottom and dripping to the floor. He flipped it over in front of Tabaya, and the heads of men and boys slopped to the stone with the soft sounds of flesh.

I asked for them alive, Dala thought, but it was distant and unimportant. The demon looked first at the masked figure of Birmun, fearful eyes growing and blinking as they turned to the ‘gifts’. Then its shoulders heaved as recognition came. It’s mouth opened in a soundless scream before it jerked away and emptied the contents of its stomach.

Dala filled with questions but asked none. I must make all the sacrifice worthwhile.

She dropped the knife and lowered her aching limbs back down, waiting there until Tabaya at last recovered and met her gaze. Dala’s legs nearly buckled so she took a knee, face close enough to smell the vomit on Tabaya’s breath.

“Do you see what you’ve done?”

She half expected the demon to laugh in her face—to find all the violence and death amusing, a true reaction as the girl-mask slipped off. But tears instead leaked down its face. Horror and grief made it tremble like a child who looked on the severed heads of her father and brothers, infant to elder. “Yes, I see,” it said, mouth pulled back and eyes closed as if trying to stop the tears.

Good, Dala thought, false of course, but good. An obedient lie was as good as the truth.

She pointed at the corpse of the would-be murderess on the stairs. Perhaps even demons feared death. “And do you see what I’ll do to you if you betray me? If you ever waver in your loyalty to the one, true god?”

Tabaya’s head bobbed and her throat clenched and unclenched. “Yes, yes I see. I won’t betray you. I won’t betray.”

It can’t be trusted, of course, no matter what it says. But the fear seemed real enough, and Dala wasn’t bluffing.

“Go,” she said, rising with the help of Birmun’s arm. “Go back to the compound or your broken home, I don’t care which, and explain away your vanished friend. But you will make me and Juchi priestesses when the ceremony comes. You will convince your flock of sheep not to bray as we wait and rise above them. On that day and every day after it, you belong to me, or I finish this.” She waited till the girl nodded, then she stepped over the heads of Tabaya’s family, walking with as much strength and grace from the tower as she could muster, knowing Birmun followed behind. When she was far enough away to be sure she wasn’t seen, she sagged gratefully into his arms.

“Take me home,” she whispered, and he held her against him, strength and warmth dulling even the worst of her wounds. He lifted her up off the ground like a child, his heartbeat and footsteps the only sounds in the world, and took her without speaking to the nightmen’s hall.

19

The next two weeks felt like another life. Even the mashed up, barely salted wheatmeal at compound breakfasts tasted good, though Dala ate it carefully so as not to bite her swollen cheeks and lips.

After the rainbow colored swirls of light faded, rain-cloud cluttered skies grew darker every day, and wet breezes drenched everything not near a hearth-fire. Dala sat and watched the water fall, ignoring the stares from the other girls and the pain in her battered body. She sat under roof-tops and watched empty streets, smelling the moist trees and grass without moving for huge stretches at a time.

After the night of blood she’d spent a day recovering at Birmun’s hall. When she was ready she limped back alone attracting eyes, Captain Vachir and his men gaped and stuttered questions but helped her to her bed when she didn’t explain. The other girls gawked. The headmasters gawked. Dala said nothing.

“The apprentices will perform all your duties for one week,” said the sister in charge, standing by Dala’s bed. Then she watched in thin-lipped silence, and Dala nodded as if subdued.

They think the other girls did it, she’d realized. They think it’s part of our ‘hierarchy’—that I’ve been beaten to keep me in line when the final ceremony comes.

She was happy to let them believe.

Tabaya’s family massacre brought a threatening silence to Orhus. The nightmen had only ever taken men or boys alone, and only in darkness—this was different. Rich matron’s homes became fortresses every hour of the day and night. Chief’s patrolled their townships with men armed as if for war, round shields and thick chain clattering on grim faced patrols.

There was talk amongst the girls of old tribal hatreds, even talk of war. They said people blamed rural chiefs unhappy with land and crop taxes. They whispered of Southern revolt, sea-gangs of murderous pirates, and even demons of the old world. Juchi said men dueled and died in the streets for every offence—they died for differences of opinion and the attention of women and old slights. But still no one ever spoke of nightmen.

Birmun told her about the chaos and blood of his attempted kidnapping, and the men who had died for her. He explained the guards and lights and panicked flight that cost him two brothers. “They made it home, but died of their wounds,” he’d said, voice strained, “they were young and brave.”

He and the others buried them piecemeal in trenches. They had no families to miss them, no chief to notice their absence, and so the nightmen kept from suspicion or harm. In the days to come they buried the ashes of the family their brothers killed; they buried the ashes of the warriors who fought over honor; and, wisely, through it all, they kept their mouths shut. Dala convinced Birmun what he’d done was not wrong.

“It was sanctioned by God,” she said. “That family is corrupt and worse and you did what you had to. What I asked you to.”

He’d nodded and said nothing.

Since her return to the compound Dala was looked on with something approaching pity. Even Juchi took two days to speak to her after that night, clearly fearing the worst.

“What happened?” she finally whispered, standing over Dala’s shoulder as she looked out on the circle in another morning shower. Dala considered using some deception. She considered perhaps not wasting any influence on helping the shy girl rise, expecting she’d never amount to much or be truly useful in the future. But then she smiled and thought of her own unlikely story. One never knows.

“It’s done, Juchi. We’re going to be priestesses.”

Her friend gasped and sobbed and said nothing, only at last placing a hand on her shoulder. Dala covered it with her own. She asked no questions, and God only knew what the girl thought happened—if she thought about it at all.

“Thank you,” she said when able, voice still choked. Dala pat her hand and waited till she left. They spoke little over the next few weeks, but Dala allowed her to do both their chores when the grace given by the headmasters ended. At night her shoulder ached and the rain made it worse; the side of her face was a purple smear; her skin had torn on both knees and elbows and forearms in long, ragged swaths in the struggle, and she washed them with water and did her best to prevent corruption. It will heal, but leave its marks, she thought, a few more scars for the scarred-up farm girl.

She avoided seeing Birmun. Every night she lay awake in bed and longed to hear his voice and feel his touch, knowing he felt the same. But there were too many eyes on her now, and too many in the streets—too much distrust and law-wielding tyrants who’d skewer a rule-breaker just to ease some tension. Thieves were being executed and left on the outskirts for wild dogs. Chiefmen rounded up homeless orphans who’d always been ignored and beat them half to death before throwing them out into the country to live like outlaws. Dala seethed at this but knew she could do nothing. She kept to the compound, not wanting to get the guards in trouble or direct any attention to her followers.

Tabaya, at least, acted perfectly. She wore a black shawl in mourning for her dead kin, accepting the dramatic shows of condolence from colleagues and teachers with grace. She remained in the compound, though she’d been permitted to return home and grieve with her surviving sisters and extended family, and Dala wondered if she felt safer here. Perhaps the mighty little matriarch was scared to cross ‘her city’ now that the rules had changed. It made her smile.

The girl-demon still couldn’t be trusted, of course. Dala could only have faith in God and in fear grown from a night of terror. Her enemy would be expected to convince her creatures to fall in line without a fuss, but how exactly she’d do that, Dala had no idea. And she couldn’t truly know if it was possible, or indeed if she’d betray until the exact moment it happened. All she could do was wait and ruin it for all of them if they lied.

And put a knife in her black, slimy heart, she thought, with some satisfaction, but it did not help the waiting.

Days went on and the ceremony loomed. The rain tapered and then surged, washing Orhus like waves on a beach, and Dala used what little energy and freedom she had to take long walks near the compound. The Captain insisted she take a guard, but a young woman with a warrior was a regular enough sight now, and she felt ignored as she saw the common folk going about their lives as usual. There were more men with weapons, less homeless beggars brazen enough to clutter the streets, and to Dala there seemed a fear in the air—a sense of waiting for a thing that no one controlled and could not be prepared for.

But still, life went on. Smiths and builders hammered wood and iron; merchants still sold chicken, sheep and horsemeat, their Chosen or lower class men beside them, red to their elbows and blood-spattered as they slaughtered and handled the flesh.

With some horror Dala saw that dogs and bats were being sold now as well. Singed carcasses were roasted whole, jaws locked open rigid in soundless screams, tongues protruding through jagged teeth plucked from a child’s nightmare. She stared and found the sight of them monstrous, wondering if the city’s harvest had been poor, or if the matrons were playing politics with grain. She couldn’t imagine eating bats, even if she was starving.

If you eat monsters, she thought, what does that make you?

On her walks she visited the tombs of ancient matriarchs outside the Hall of Justice—a raised hill in the center of the city that could look North towards the sea, and East towards a huge, mostly pine forest. It’s so beautiful, she thought, but the view should be enjoyed by the living, not the dead.

She ran her fingers along the rows of carved names and stories of the buried women wishing again she could read, stooping to smell the flowers and touch the soft green of sheared bushes and trees that circled the dead like a fence. Matriarchs were never burned when they died. Perhaps this was so Noss’s flame would never touch them, or perhaps just for remembrance. Dala did not know.

She was not allowed in the Hall until she was a priestess, but she tried to absorb the history and beauty of the world’s capital and holy places, knowing after the ceremony she might have to leave for years for her tutelage—or leave because she’d failed. She walked among the people, trying to lock the smells and sounds of civilization away in her mind—to remember the stink and ugliness of poverty, the comforts and triumph of wealth. With every step she tried to draw a line through the ages from Galdra to today, from ideas to prosperity, but wasn’t sure she could. In every man’s eyes she saw the blue pools of her lover; in every woman’s smile she saw the joy she felt in his arms.

But the risk of seeing him was too great. Day and night she resisted, convincing and arguing with herself, repeating like a prayer that her feelings were just girlish stupidity and that they would fade. Day after day the future came, and with it uncertainty and fear and the chance that if not now then perhaps never again.

On the night before the ceremony Dala rose from her bed, pulling on her freshly cleaned dress amongst the snores and stillness of sleeping apprentices. She stepped on stiff, painful legs and crept to the never-locked door that did not creak if you lifted up as you pulled, and she stole out into the dark.

Guards waited at their posts, watchful and awake. Dala saw Captain Vachir with some relief, approaching then waiting until he saw and came to her, his eyes moving about the compound and the walls as if he expected violence, then back to his men to see if they were watching.

“One last time,” she said, smiling and trying not to look as sheepish and hopeful as she felt.

The men had never betrayed her to the headmasters—at least as far as she knew. They had never stopped her, though leaving as she did was not permitted. This time though the captain looked troubled.

“I’ll send a man with you, Priestess, the nights are dangerous.” He looked out at the streets as if already planning her escort.

“If you think it best, Captain.” She very nearly hugged him, though an escort would be inconvenient and she wasn’t sure what she’d say to the guard to send him home before she reached Birmun. But then perhaps she didn’t have to.

She knew Vachir and his warriors knew more than they said—that he and Galdric men like him were the watchers on the walls. They were outsiders, and observers. They had no chiefs or brothers in arms except each other. They were not rich or respected by the ruling class, and so they were not targeted by the nightmen. Even if they knew everything about Dala and her visits to Birmun’s hall—even if they suspected her dark dealings in blood, she wondered, would they speak? And to who?

Vachir walked Dala to the gate and held his arm ahead in invitation. She turned, daring to reach up and touch his cheek. He startled but didn’t move.

“Your daughters are lucky to have you, Captain. You’re a good man.”

He swallowed and cleared his throat, frozen until she removed her hand. “Dacar will take you wherever you wish, Priestess. His eyes are young and sharp.” He waved at one of his men, who slid easily down the rampart ladder, half drawing a sword from its scabbard as if testing it were free.

Vachir looked away. “He will collect you in the morning.” Then he turned without another word and took his post, and Dala stepped out with a mind full of questions.

Every step towards Birmun seemed to send her gut twirling faster, and she felt sweat on her palms and forehead as the hall came into sight.

“I’ll leave you here, Mistress,” said Dacar, who had turned and half-crossed the street before she’d collected herself enough to thank him.

The door and handle she’d used so many times seemed suddenly huge and imposing, the light on it from the stars and half-moon too bright, too obvious. He might not even be here, she realized and nearly groaned. He might be out knee deep in muck and trench and not returning for hours.

She seized the iron ring and pulled and found the door unlocked. There were no torches, no light or warmth from a hearthfire, but she stepped lightly past the chairs and tables to the bedroom she’d shared so often, heart hammering then dropping like a stone as she found it empty.

She stood still, unsure. She could go back and Birmun would never know, and it would be as if this weakness had never happened. But instead her fingers found the straps of her apron dress on their own, then the belt at her waist. Her dress tumbled to the floor. She took off her underclothes and piled them neatly on the wooden planks before crawling naked into Birmun’s furs, then stared up at the slanted ceiling, waiting, trying not to feel foolish and eager. What will I say when he comes?

She couldn’t say it was a ‘reward’ for a night of service—the nightmen hadn’t killed since Tabaya’s family. A final gift from the Goddess, she thought, for his loyalty.

The furs smelled like old sweat and lemongrass, but Dala buried her nose in them and couldn’t stop sniffing. She wrapped them around her, the feel against her naked skin so soft and intimate they made her legs shift and knead like a kitten at its mother’s belly. She sighed and closed her eyes, and when she opened them again she felt strong hands pulling her from her side to her back. She saw blue eyes disappear under the covers, a wet mouth and wet skin sliding up her legs avoiding bruises until they found her breasts and her mouth and all thoughts of what she’d say or how were gone.

“I missed you.”

Had she said it out loud, or thought it?

Then Birmun was inside her and filled her whole world until the heat at last burned and he moaned and buried his face in her neck and moved no more. “One last gift,” she said, remembering, running her fingers over his muscled back.

“Perhaps tonight,” he whispered as he stroked her hair, “there is only a man and a woman, and no Goddess at all.”

She held him and let his weight block out her fears. “Promise you’ll come to me,” she said later after sleep and more lovemaking and the dawn had almost crested the horizon. “Promise wherever they send me, you’ll give up your vengeance and your brothers for a time and you’ll come to me. Nanot still needs you.”

He looked in her eyes, searching, though she didn’t know for what. “And you? Do you need me, Dala?”

She swallowed, unsure what to say, unsure what was true. “Yes, and me. I need you too.”

* * *

In the morning she woke without remembering where she was. She lay still as her mind stirred, listening to the rain that sounded like applause as it tapped on the nightmen’s roof, the sound of Birmun snoring softly in her ear, watching his arm draped heavy across her chest.

Then her gut twisted: it was the day of the ceremony. The official day of Galdra’s victory, when she appointed loyal followers as servants of God. It was the day that had always been the future and far away and a goal to strive for, but now it was here, and life would change again.

Dala rose and dressed by hearthlight embers, unsure of the position of the sun. Even if Tabaya doesn’t betray, even if God protects me and my plans and I become a priestess, I might still lose Birmun.

But then, she reminded herself, she had not come to Orhus for love. I am not my mother. I am Nanot’s servant. I must be strong.

If successful she would have to travel to some unfamiliar town, serve a woman who may or may not be corrupt or cruel or just as hateful to a Southern daughter as the rich girls of the compound. What will my duties be, she wondered? Would she be expected to read from Galdra’s teachings? And if so, what would her mentor do when she discovered her new apprentice couldn’t actually read?

Dala meant to leave Birmun sleeping but he stirred and woke. He smiled and held her arm and kissed her and stared into her eyes. “I’ll see you soon,” she said, knowing likely it was not true. She saw the same uncertainty she felt reflected in his gaze, then she left him naked in his furs.

As usual now, Orhus was grey and wet. Pink light from a waking sun lit rainclouds without gap across the sky, and after the warmth of the night and Birmun’s body, Dala welcomed the coolness. The drops were slow and light and she walked without covering her head with her shawl. Merchant-women sat under tarps—most now flanked by armed guards sent by relatives or chiefs to protect them from ‘the troubles’, though the only women ever hurt were in Dala’s last night of blood.

My re-birth, she thought, my crucible—the glorious moment Nanot had stripped reality’s masks and illusions and showed her evil plain.

She had seen no more demons since that night, though she often stared at the apprentices and priestesses looking for a sign.

Perhaps they are only demons when their deeds are dark. Perhaps there are demons waiting to possess anyone with enough corruption in their hearts, but only when they act.

She could not know. For now she had only questions and guesses, and her faith in God. She will reveal the answers when I need them, as she always has. For now, Dala put it from her mind.

The wet streets stunk like old dirt and rot, but Dala had grown accustomed to condensed humanity, and she nodded in respect to anyone who’d meet her eyes as she walked openly through the curved streets.

One day it will be my city, she thought, not Tabaya’s. I will understand its rhythym and know all the faces and hearts, and together we will make this world anew.

It made no difference she did not yet know how or when.

By the time she’d entered the compound’s Eastern gate, her heart beat slow and steady and her palms were dry. If it all goes against me, then I will have done all I could, and Birmun at least will be my reward.

She thought perhaps she could take him back to the land once owned by her mother. Some of her siblings may yet be alive. And perhaps my father, too, she realized, then clenched her jaw and thought perhaps she’d enjoy watching Birmun kill him. We could start again, start a family, and I could honor Nanot in other ways.

Her ex-nightman had fertilized fields all his life; his hard lean body was sculpted from toil. He would be ten times the farmer her father ever was.

“Dala!” Juchi held a cloak over her head as if to block the rain, but didn’t actually come out from under the slope of the compound’s roof. Her dress looked clean, her shawl fluffed, her hair brushed and washed. “What are you doing? The ceremony’s almost started.” Her wide eyes scanned Dala from soggy feet to frizzled hair without blinking.

“I’m ready,” Dala said, mostly to herself. She walked over the swept, brick circle that led to the grass and trees and the large, flat rock placed in the center to represent the stone of law. She frowned at the sight of the girls coloring their faces with forbidden paints, their arms, ears and necks jingling with silver bracelets or rings. Galdra had believed the servants of God should be unadorned, but the rules were not enforced.

Just another corruption of the prophet’s teachings I’ll one day correct.

Near the ‘law-stone’ the headmasters had placed chairs and set umbrellas made from mulberry bark for the guests. There would be priestesses, Dala knew, influential matrons, and—for the headmasters who had overseen the girls for months—a chance to be greatly embarrassed.

Now they fretted over the length and cut of the grass, or hovered nattering over the girls with scowls. They picked at loose pieces of bark, cleaned dirt off fence-posts or buildings, and muttered about the useless, lazy efforts of the apprentices.

Dala stepped into the circle and ignored the old women’s stares. She scooped up a basket tucked behind a tree, plucking the ripest and heaviest apples she could find, then stooped to take a half-rotten piece that had fallen near the trunk. She walked back to the guards at the gate, biting into the spoiled side of the fruit, savoring the disgust she felt on some of her many watcher’s faces.

You dress in fine clothes and jewels and smear your faces for attention, and yet you all look at me.

“Captain,” she called, and the older warrior stepped from his pack of sodden warriors and lowered his head and eyes. “For you and your men.” She touched his arm and smiled while he took the basket.

“Thank you, Priestess.” He scanned her as innocuously as he could. “Please, you’re soaked,” he motioned at the warmth and cover of the compound, but she ignored it.

“No more than you and your men.” She stepped away and bowed to him—a gesture few priestesses gave except to each other, then walked to take her place near the stone.

There is nothing left to do, she thought, and her limbs felt restless. My fate is in higher hands.

She felt the moments pass as if slowed, and meaningful. Rain-drops felt heavy as they touched her skin, every bump and indent in the soil obvious beneath her feet.

When the other girls saw her in position they exchanged looks then followed, Tabaya in the lead, and they came in twos and threes and then a herd as they clacked across the brick and stone, a roar of chatter and fine boots and swishing clothes.

Headmaster’s glared and Dala realized they hadn’t quite been ready. Perhaps they wait for the rain to stop. She looked up at solid clouds and knew any fool could see they wouldn’t, so why delay? She met the eyes of the compound’s caretakers and smiled until they looked away. I have nothing left to fear from you.

As the girls stood sullen, complaints growing with their dampness, a pack of matrons entered the Southern gate. They were layered with cloth and jewels, wrapped in silver-adorned cloaks, metallic clasps running over their shoulders like suspenders ending in iron cups at their breasts. Their hair was bound and tied and complex, their faces painted.

My colleagues grown to women, Dala thought, and knew that underneath they were likely the same small, fearful creatures without substance or power on their own. She felt no fear or respect for them. They are sheep waiting to be sheared. They took their chairs beneath the umbrellas, swiping their hands first over barely wet seats, as if a little moisture was enough to steal their comfort.

More and more women came through both gates, each with their own warriors for protection. These men milled outside the compound, laughing and calling to one another as the guards tried to keep them back and out of the path of guests. Soon, ten matrons became twenty, then thirty, then sixty.

The headmasters turned red and rushed inside for more chairs, then out into the city; they brought sacks of grain, buckets, blankets—anything the women could sit on that wasn’t soggy grass, but still the mothers came. The Circle filled with bodies and chatter as the women greeted each other and went through all the rituals of civility and hierarchy, though Dala noticed they did not laugh and jest together like the men. Their eyes darted from each other to the compound, gaze skewering young girls, hands covering mouths as they whispered.

“Praise her name!”

In all the commotion, it seemed, no one had spotted Priestess Amira. She yelled the devotion to be heard over the din, then stepped past the herded girls and lightly onto the holy rock. Even in the gloom her white shawl and cloak were radiant. Her simple dress and hair were damp, as if, unlike the others, she’d traveled here uncovered in the rain. She was flanked by Galdric soldiers—one huge, the other lean and hard, both with grim, bearded faces so similar they must have been brothers. They had good spears and swords, metal plates linked with chain covering their bodies from neck to thigh.

“Praise her name,” mumbled the assembly, which hushed but did not silence.

Amira simply waited. She scanned the crowd, brushing something from her sleeve, then squinted up at the dull sky, then down at the grass, then at her guardians.

Chatter stalled and finally ceased from gate to gate as if in a wave, even silencing the men outside as they noticed the lull. But still the priestess waited. She waited through coughs and stares and past the moment even Dala too felt strained and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. At last the sister raised her arms as she’d done when first speaking to the apprentices, her face turned upward to the star-gods.

“Hear me, Maker of laws, Builder of peace, Steward of civilization. Today your children swell with pride as ever more of our kin become your servants.” She seemed to shrink and sigh as she turned her attention back to the crowd. “Welcome, Mothers, to the Day of Victory.”

The women did not cheer, nor even clap, and Dala bristled at what she felt could only be rudeness. If it bothered or surprised the priestess, though, she did not show it.

“The moment is difficult, I know. Not all of your daughters will be priestesses.”

Painted faces curled with sneers and sound erupted from red lips at once, as if the women were unsurprised. The priestess raised her hand for calm.

“I’m sure I need not tell such an esteemed gathering—there are already too many Galdric daughters.”

More protest and murmurs swept the compound like a breeze.

Too many? Dala blinked and worked to keep her mouth closed. There are almost none in the South!

Where she’d grown up, farm-folk traveled for miles to towns with a Sister. Some asked for help arranging mates, or to teach the book to children, or for help with birthing or herbs and medicine. But just as many didn’t bother.

“You all know the greatest halls are filled,” said the priestess, and the women puffed and shook their heads but didn’t seem to faze her. “You all know every Northern town has a dozen houses with sisters, that the towns-chief’s halls are all but surrounded by them, with all the problems that brings.”

Dala watched the faces in the crowd to see how they’d react. Some blew air through their teeth or rolled their eyes, others turned to their kin and whispered, some simply stared, the combined noise rising to drown all attempts at speech.

Amira seized one of her soldier’s spears and smashed the butt against the stone of law. The sudden noise shocked matrons and apprentices into stunned silence.

Lucky it didn’t shatter, Dala thought, but well done.

“This is not a debate.” Amira’s eyes blazed. “The Goddess speaks, and we mortals listen.” She pointed at the apprentices. “Fledglings, judge each other in the sight of Nanot, and make the most worthy known.”

At first no one moved—it was up to the girls to decide how to do this. Dala was never part of any conversation, of course, and had no idea what the plan was. She had only ever heard whisperings from groups of the others. But she was not surprised when Tabaya broke through the pack and bowed her head.

“With your permission, Mistress—I will speak for the cluster.”

The priestess hid it well, but to Dala it seemed she breathed a sigh of relief, then stood aside to let the new Speaker ascend the stone.

Tabaya was colored and fluffed like the other girls, but not more so. A black strip of cloth was tied to her apprentice shawl to show she was still in mourning for her dead relatives, but otherwise she dressed the same. She brought nothing to the stone with her, nor seemed to have anything written down. The girls behind her were in no particular order that Dala could tell, and yet she would have to remember every name, perhaps the names of their mothers, and their proper order in the placement. Dala had to admit some respect.

“Brenna.”

The first name called. The first failure. A girl stepped from the cluster with her head high, her face calm, and without further words began her walk to the compound gate.

She was the daughter of a minor merchant South of Orhus and younger than most of the girls. Dala breathed relief simply because the name called wasn’t her.

If I have been betrayed, it is not utterly.

Some of the women in the crowd glanced at a red-faced woman, who stood and intercepted her daughter, grabbing her arm and near dragging her along the path.

She is young, and had walked with dignity. There was no shame until that moment.

Tabaya seemed to notice the reaction, too, and now announced more names with little pause. Most were not obviously different or unworthy, save perhaps for their instinct to follow rather than lead, but this described most of the cluster. Each girl stepped out of line as called, walking to the exit with kin in tow—though most matrons handled it better than the first.

It became clear to Dala that the unrepentantly strong-willed were the girls who triumphed—the girls who had fought for every inch, regardless of consequence, and became immovable. Those girls who could stare their sisters in the eyes and say without words ‘I want it more, I will not bend’, in the end hadn’t had to.

There were some few schemers, too—girls who could convince others of their own support—and the wealthiest in the real world who could buy their way with promises of silver, or threats of destruction.

But none are like me, except Tabaya. None but us tried to change the game with knives.

Failure followed failure, the bottom ten, the bottom twenty. Mothers swelled with rage and left as wordless as their daughters, seemingly angrier the closer to success.

Dala noticed repeatedly she held her breath and had to focus to keep controlled. With every new name she expected it to be hers. With every announcement she prepared to stand up before the remaining crowd, before the apprentices and the priestess and say she rejected this, she disagreed, and so ruin all their futures and face whatever wrath that followed.

Would Amira intervene, she wondered? If the matrons howled for Dala’s blood, would she change the rules out of fear? Had she ever truly intended to follow through?

But then Northern women didn’t even carry seaxes, so what could they really do? Their guards were nothing like Birmun. They wouldn’t harm a woman in broad daylight, before witnesses, before a priestess—they wouldn’t dare face the mountain god just for their matron’s pleasure.

The thought struck her as important, though she couldn’t quite decide how.

“Kari.”

The twenty-second name. If I counted correctly. Then the twenty-third. Dala looked back at Juchi and saw her trembling.

“Eira.”

She rose and stared at the grass, and many of the other girls blinked in surprise.

“Sylvitha.”

Her ‘colleagues’ heads snapped from side to side, gazes sweeping her as if for some explanation, then turning to each in shock, or accusation. Dala felt her shoulders sag but kept her mouth closed.

I’ve made it. She almost laughed out loud. I survived. Oh Meesha, I’m a priestess.

Tabaya kept reading names despite the girls, and the mood of the crowd at last shifted to pleasure. All the remaining daughters had passed, and each when called went down to celebrate and embrace their kin, basking in the praise.

Dala saw and heard almost none of it. Juchi was called twenty six and already descended in a daze to meet her mother and sisters, and Dala expected to be twenty-seven, but wasn’t.

Name after name, girl after girl until the apprentices gathered by the ‘holy rock’ dwindled to ten, and then five, and then two.

“I have the honor of being selected as second by my peers,” Tabaya announced, then turned and at last looked at Dala, her frozen face unreadable. “There is only one and final name unread.” She gestured to come forward. “Dala, daughter of Cara, take your place on the stone, Sister.”

No one cheered.

Dala the scarred-up Southron prude ascended the holy rock, bewildered. I knew you were cowed, Tabaya, but I had no idea…

Her feet were on the flat stone, and she stared out at the curious, suspicious faces before she realized. She makes me a target. My succeeding at all was surprising, yes, but now? Now I’ll be scrutinized. Questions will be asked. Oh, beautifully done, Tabaya. All will ask how? All will ask why?

Dala thought of the guards who’d seen her and maybe knew. She thought of the nightmen that could betray. Oh yes, despite Birmun and the goddess, they are men and could still betray.

The rock felt hard and higher than it looked. She pushed damp hair from her eyes and stared out at the crowd as if to determine which she should fear, no idea what she should do or say.

“Congratulations, Sister.” The priestesses voice shattered the still silence of the circle. “Because you are first among equals, you have the honor of choosing any priestess in the world to be your mentor.”

Dala’s mind whirled. She had no idea. She didn’t even know the names of important priestesses, let alone which would accept apprentices or where they were stationed, or what choice would be wise. She could ask, she supposed—find out the highest ranking, perhaps an archon that helped interpret laws. But in Orhus she’d be surrounded—she’d be living in a nest of vipers, still too green and ignorant to know who were her enemies, and which were truly faithful servants of god. She did not yet understand this world. She wasn’t ready.

“Who is the highest ranking sister in the South, Mistress?”

Priestess Amira smiled at this, even as the matrons whispered and covered derisive snorts with their hands.

“That would be High Priestess Kunla, Apprentice, daughter of Astrid. She is stationed near Hulbron on the far edge of the Spiral.”

Dala had never once heard the name, but it would get her far, far from the Order’s power, and perhaps give her time to learn and gain more allies.

“Very well. I choose Sister Kunla.”

“An inspired choice, fledgling, the South is always in desperate need of Galdra’s teachings. The Order thanks you.”

Dala bowed and the sister asked the top five girls who their choices were, each no doubt naming high ranked priestesses in the heart of Orhus. When it was done and the girls had said good-bye to their families, and the headmasters had shuffled the guests through either gate and at last closed them with angry scowls, Priestess Amira stepped next to Dala and whispered.

“The journey is long, and difficult, Apprentice. You will leave at once.”

Dala looked in the woman’s eyes and found what she thought was kindness. I knew you still had true servants, Goddess, I will find them all, I swear it.

She looked at Tabaya and her cluster of minions gathering, their eyes flicking carefully at Dala with something approaching hate as they gossiped and schemed.

“Yes Mistress, as you say.”

The guards had already scooped her meager things and a wagon outside, one winking as he helped her up to sit behind the driver. Dala wondered only how the Priestess had known to have it ready, and thought perhaps it was for if she’d disagreed.

Captain Vachir clicked his tongue and the wagon moved through ruddy streets. The driver whistled and jerked his reins and his two furry horses all but charged through the city, scattering angry travelers in their wake.

Dala felt the urge to tell him to go East first so she could say goodbye to Birmun, but she knew he wouldn’t. And you said all your goodbyes last night. There’s nothing more to say.

She looked through her pack and dirty clothes, drinking deep from a full water-skin the guards must have added, then with trembling hands and tears she lifted the only thing that wasn’t hers—a thing that could have only been tucked inside by Priestess Amira.

She dropped the hated brown, itchy wool of her apprenticeship, wrapping the fresh, soft, white cloth around her neck and shoulders.

Dala donned the greatest mark of power in the world—the key to nearly every door, the freedom from starvation and homelessness for the rest of her days—the last mask she would ever have to wear. She wrapped herself in the shawl of Galdra, settling down into the padded seat of her carriage, feeling the strange, but comforting sensation, of going home.

20

The blacksmith in Husavik turned out to be a foul-mouthed idiot, and everything in his shop stunk like old sweat. While Ruka had never really seen a smithy, the Book went on about them at some length, and his mother taught him about the workings of iron.

“What you want to do, boy, is keep the blade flat, like so.” The smith apparently thought he needed to demonstrate to Ruka what he meant by ‘flat’. “And then, very gently, like your sucking at your mum’s teet, you put the file against the blade, and tap at it with your hammer.” He looked at Ruka’s straying eyes. “Are you fucking paying attention?”

Ruka was not. Largely he examined the man’s forge and anvil, his supply of coal and lumber, his weapons, armor and tools strewn about in disorder.

“Yes,” he said.

“You brace the blade, and you tap lightly—not too fucking deep, mind, like so.”

With the man’s attention turned, Ruka wandered off to pick up a sword and swing it around. The idea of plunging it into the smith’s back just to end this ridiculous lesson was appealing.

The shop had been built largely open-aired with counters all along the outside. Ruka supposed the heat from the forge was more than enough to keep the big man warm, even in winter, and there looked to be hides bunched on the roof that could be pulled down to block the wind. Wooden pillars braced the ceiling, and nearly every inch of space held some product of the man’s toil. Ruka stood in his Grove looking at a cleared patch of ground and decided his own work would be a great deal more orderly.

Then his body flinched as he saw a woman approach, and he hid behind a pillar to watch. She had the self-important, arrogant look of someone rich, and Ruka’s breath caught when he saw the white-shawl of a priestess. She walked straight towards Egil, who was smoking a pipe outside.

“Put down that fucking sword before you kill yourself. I don’t have all fucking day, and Egil’s not paying enough to waste my time.”

Ruka ignored the smith, moving closer to where his companion stood, and hiding behind the counter.

“The great bard returns! How long has it been, Egil?”

“Oh, perhaps a year, Mistress. All is well, I hope?”

“Well enough. You’ll be joining us this evening in the town’s hall? At least for a few songs? The people talked about your last visit for weeks.”

Ruka heard the smith swear and drop the chisel, marching off back to his work.

“Of course, Priestess. I’d be delighted.”

“Oh, how wonderful. I’ll tell the chief. You’re most welcome here, Egil. See you this evening…for however long you like.”

“Thank you, yes this evening. I look forward to it.”

The woman went back to wherever she came from, and Egil entered the shop with his sly smile. He took in the blacksmith’s displeasure without much concern, but looked at Ruka with one thick eyebrow raised. “Have we learned everything we need to learn?”

The smith guffawed from the corner.

“He hasn’t listened to a fucking thing I said—but you aren’t getting your coin back!”

“Yes,” Ruka said, his back still to the smith, “but you’ll need to buy a hammer and chisel. Some grinding stones and a…” he didn’t know the actual word… “metal brush.”

The smith snorted again, “A finisher?”

“Yes, and a finisher,” Ruka repeated without looking at the man. “Oh, and Egil, buy me a sword.” Then he turned and walked out, pulled his new black hood down over his eyes, and tried not to touch at the ash smeared on his face, though it kind of itched.

He heard the men bargaining for the tools as the wind cooled his now nearly-shaved head. Egil had decided in the end that his hair made him look ‘too wild’, and they didn’t want to scare anyone off before his ‘talent’ was announced. ‘Bad for business’, he’d said. Ruka didn’t care either way. It was foolish to have short hair in the cold, but they’d be moving North, and staying in warm towns regardless.

The forge in his Grove would take time to build, so for now he just imagined an iron sword, braced it against his chopping log, and practiced etching. He found the incompetence of the blacksmith revolting. The fool’s shop was a warehouse of imperfection, most everything in it carried some hint of misshape, likely from inconstant heat or sloppy hammering, and everything was the exact same, dull color, the exact same dull shapes. If it was true that men could displease the gods through their actions, then surely Vol, god of craftsmen, would not suffer such a man for long.

At any rate, I can do better. Ruka knew that either men of old had learned, or Vol had taught them to give steel color and etch it in ways that seemed to leave no mark. The fuel mattered, he knew, though he wasn’t sure why, and somehow there was water that could melt metal. Perhaps others could teach him more.

Egil stomped out carrying a bag of tools, a longsword, and a sour expression. “Most of this is coming out of your share when we get paid because you pissed him off and the prices doubled.”

Ruka shrugged. “We will be paid more than that when I draw a rune for the chief, correct?”

The bard’s usually expressive face blanking was a clear sign, Ruka had already come to understand, that he was about to deceive.

“Yes they’ll pay us a bit more, but it’s hard to know how much.”

“Take it all from my share,” Ruka said. Egil’s face brightened immensely.

“Smart lad—knows when to invest. Don’t worry, tonight will be the tip of the spear, I promise you!” He gave another fatherly pat that endangered his life.

Ruka attempted a smile. He understood, of course, that the bard would try and steal every ounce of coin possible, and that runes were very valuable. This made no difference. He would learn what he needed to learn and move on. Egil would help teach him about the world of men, and then Ruka would figure out how to destroy it. Everything else was distraction.

* * *

Later, when the sun fell, Egil played in the chief’s hall to a growing crowd of men and women, and Ruka tensed with the rise of violence. It moved in waves as the women watched the handsome bard, and as the men, especially the un-chosen, watched the women.

Ruka just sat quietly, eating. Egil told him not to look anyone in the eye, to avoid even the appearance of listening to conversation, and, of course, he was not to speak. “But if you absolutely must, then only quote the Book of Galdra.”

Egil also said to look ‘superior and aloof’, but when Ruka asked what that meant, he’d said ‘nevermind, just be yourself’.

Husavik’s hall could hold three of Hulbron’s. The people looked cleaner, and happier, or at least drunker. Chicken, pork and horse-meat charred on grills around the hearth—even fresh vegetables—most of which Ruka didn’t recognize in their cooked and cut-up form, and the hall had windows with shutters to let in light.

Ruka’s skin crawled with stares, and he’d never been more uncomfortable. Two years of being alone and avoiding being seen entirely, noting hills and valleys and settlements and every chance of drawing eyes, and now he was a spectacle. He tried to block the villagers out, but found he couldn’t.

‘Who is that?’, ‘why is his face black?’, ‘why does he eat with us?’, ‘why does he say nothing and wear that hood?’.

A boy of perhaps five skipped up and said hello, but his father quickly pulled him away.

The song finished and the women clapped vigorously, the men slowly or not at all. Ruka watched Egil drain another cup of wine, beaming at the crowd like he’d been crowned their new chief.

For the love of all your gods, play something livelier, something for the men.

“This next song is for the young, the beautiful.” Egil received a few feminine cheers. “It is a love-song for Zisa, Goddess of Beauty—I humbly pray she hears me, and gives us all her favor.” Quiet applause as Egil strummed and looked away as if in melancholy, playing a soft, slow, song as he turned to the women’s side.

Ruka overheard some of the men near-by calling Egil names ranging in creativity from boy-lover to horse-fucker, but the way they said it without laughter concerned him. At least they aren’t talking about me, he thought, but he needed Egil, at least for now. The idea of returning to his trees and traps and life as an outcast no longer felt like an option for his purpose.

The priestess that spoke with Egil was here—the only woman not separated with the others on their own side of the hall. She sat leaning towards the chief—Aiden, whose size and bearing had caught Ruka’s eyes at once. He was the first man Ruka had ever seen who made him feel, instantly, and without doubt—here is a man from my mother’s book. Husavik’s chief had seen perhaps twenty and five winters. His hair and complexion were dark, his eyes bored, searching, as if waiting for something else. Besides his sword and furs, matron and chief’s earrings, he wore a plain bronze circlet—a mark, Ruka understood, of some great deed in battle. Both he and the priestess watched the skald, neither saying much, and if either felt the sense of danger Ruka did, they didn’t show it.

Egil finished his song to the cheers and applause of women, then waved and announced ‘A short break!’, draining half another cup and wandering off towards the exit, probably to empty his bladder.

Two men stood as the song closed. They’d walked and now waited near the door, blocking all space between the tables, chairs, and wall. Ruka couldn’t hear their words, but the drunk fool-singer tried to brush his way past them, oblivious, and one of the men pushed him hard enough to knock him back.

“Still don’t see me, brother? Chiefless dog.”

He spit on the floor, and the words rang clear enough despite the chatter. Some of the other men—mostly all farmers and builders—turned their chairs to watch, nudging their fellows and holding cups for the expected show. Even here in the Middle-Way, men would no doubt expect a fist-fight or even a duel for that. A duel Egil would of course lose, even if he was sober.

Ruka weighed the risks. Decision made, he stood and pulled back the dark cloth covering his face as he walked towards the scuffle, glancing at the stony expression of the big chief. Will you step in, he wondered? Or will you let them beat and maybe kill a skald in your hall?

Egil looked dazed, red-faced, arms locked with one of his attackers, no blades at least yet drawn. As Ruka neared, the other man who was perhaps the first’s twin turned to meet him, narrowed eyes widening at the sight of ash-smeared baldness.

“Mind your business.” He clenched his hands into fists, but his tone was unsure.

Ruka knew he could only retreat, or commit to the end. If he left the skald now, even if Aiden saved him, wounded pride might ruin things. Egil might see Ruka and feel only a beating from two drunken farmers. He might see his spent coin and a night of failure and decide this plan was foolish from the start.

But I can’t go backwards, not anymore, or perhaps I’ll never leave.

Behind him lay only sadness and childhood, killing outlaws who didn’t deserve it, and a frozen mother in a field. He lowered his eyes, stepping back to draw his sword. He would not go back.

Seats knocked aside as the townsfolk scrambled to move away. Ruka heard their gasps, felt the stares and pointing fingers when they saw his blade. He’d covered it from hilt to tip in runes.

The man before him stood transfixed, and Ruka stared into his eyes, quoting one of the older pieces of the book, as loudly as he could without shouting.

“And lo before me did I see a field of the dead, and I rejoiced, for only the brave will live forever.”

He did his best to copy Egil’s way of speaking—to project his voice and so fill the hall with it. Mutters and gasps turned to whispers of: ‘is that a Rune-shaman?’, or some variation. Ruka stilled and waited, listening intently for the priestess until he heard her rise.

Unlike Egil, Ruka knew that Rune-shaman’s had existed long before the Book of Galdra, and therefore long before the Order. If he was right and there were few left alive, then this was what the Order wanted; if it was dangerous to be a Rune-Shaman, it was not because of the gods.

Quoting the book remained useful, yes—it brought with it mystery, authority, and the fear of ancient things. But Ruka would need to be more. He would need to be a student of the new ways, not just a prophet of the old.

He turned his back on the men before him, lowering his eyes as he walked directly towards the chief. The whole room seemed to freeze as people waited to see what he’d do, the petty brawl all but forgotten. None of the men reached for their weapons—a useful fact that Ruka stored away. He put his rune-blade out before him and rested it across both hands in presentation, then he bent down to one knee and held it up towards the chief.

“The gods have a message for you, Aiden, Chieftain of Husavik. Will you hear it?”

He couldn’t see the man’s face with his eyes lowered, but he could do nothing else but wait. Not a chair creaked or scraped on the floor, not a voice raised, and Ruka prayed he judged the man correctly.

“Yes, I will hear it,” the chief’s voice was quiet, but sure, like his bearing, and Ruka finally breathed and nodded his head, hoping it looked solemn and religious.

“So be it. Your message is this: No fire, no matter how great, can burn a land of ash.”

He’d made this up entirely, hoping it sounded vague and prophetic enough to linger awhile. He added, “And they offer you this sword.”

The chief stood motionless for some time—long enough that the moments seemed even to Ruka’s measured mind an eternity—but at last he felt the large hands as they moved reverently under his blade.

“I humbly accept this gift. What God am I to thank?” The big man seemed almost breathless, and Ruka’s mind raced. By asking which god he was openly taunting the priestess, which was useful to see, but too soon and dangerous. Ruka harshened his tone, as if in chastisement. “You will learn in time, Son of Imler.”

It was a strange thing to say, especially to a man being recognized by the gods, but it would perhaps pacify the priestess—a subtle reminder of the order of things, and the danger of any man wielding too much power. It would hopefully be seen as acknowledging the prophetess, diminishing the stature of the chief—of all chiefs—without diminishing the weight of the gift. It would hopefully show ‘Bukayag the Rune-shaman’ posed little threat to the Galdric Order—a message he prayed she passed along.

Aiden lifted the blade and stared in reverence, seemingly oblivious of the slight. Ruka backed away and threw his hood up, striding across the room and hoping to scoop Egil along the way. The chief called out to him. “Stranger, who are you? Are you a shaman?”

The answer formed quickly on Ruka’s lips, though he hadn’t been sure until this moment.

“I am Bukayag, first-born twin and only living son of Beyla, daughter of the Vishan. And I am not a Rune-Shaman, mighty chief, I am the last.”

He didn’t look back, or stop walking, only slowing to turn his face to the side to say it. The two men near Egil had released him to watch, and even drunk the bard got the idea, moving quickly to follow in Ruka’s wake.

He pushed open the large double-doors that kept out the weather and led to the long-road to the next village, orange light and warmth and chatter snuffed behind him as they closed. When Egil caught up, Ruka grabbed his arm, looked in his eyes and hissed “We should leave tonight, those men weren’t finished with you.”

To his great surprise, Egil sounded not only ungrateful, but angry, “That was not the plan.” He slurred his words. “You were supposed to keep quiet, and you were not supposed to give away any runes for free! Let alone the half-fucking-dozen I saw on that sword! The sword I paid for, I’ll add!”

Ruka blinked and stopped walking, realizing Egil was drunker than he’d seemed. Our relationship must change, he realized, almost sadly.

He jerked forward and put a hand on Egil’s throat, easily taking him off balance and pushing him to the ground.

“Listen carefully.” He felt the man trying to raise his arms, so he smashed them back down; he felt him trying to speak, so he gripped his throat tighter. He spoke slowly, evenly, “You are useful to me sober. Your knowledge of this world serves my purpose. But drunk you are a weakness.” Here he paused, and the man squirmed and said nothing. “Surely you realize I could kill you, if I wished. Do you doubt that I would? Have you forgotten how you found me, Egil?”

Crude understanding formed, even in those glazed, red-veined eyes, but the skald said nothing. Not that he could.

“We will stay the night while you sleep this off. Now, get up.” Ruka eased his grip and backed away, ready to kill. Egil rose without grace, lurching to his knees and propping his rear-end up, his face neutral.

Defiant, then, but maybe only from the drink. Ruka turned his back and waited, deciding he would not harm the man too badly on account of his state.

But the attack didn’t come. When he looked back, Egil hadn’t moved. “I’ll be staying with…that is, at the priestess’ house tonight. You my boy can go wherever the fuck you please.”

He turned and stumbled off, and Ruka let him, understanding late-night visits well. He supposed it made sense. Priestesses, at least from what Beyla told him, could only take a mate by giving up the gods. But a secret arrangement with a traveler was probably convenient—the best of both worlds. Ruka wondered idly what they did about pregnancies, but this didn’t seem important now, and Beyla had once or twice made potions for such things.

“See you in the morning, then,” Ruka called to his back, but once he’d moved deeper into the darkness, followed. Egil relieved himself against the side of the hall, thrusting his hips and muttering, then made his way towards a grand house on the far side of the town. He looked around, certainly uselessly, then fumbled a key out of his pocket and opened the front door. Ruka watched, and waited.

The priestess came along shortly. She looked sober, in control, then annoyed the door was unlocked, but not afraid. Ruka noted that, too. He crept closer, circling the house to find a window that would be close to the bed. He heard them talking, but not their words, and it went on for some time before the moans started.

He thought of his mother’s house and pretended it was his parents making love. Then he worked on the torture chamber in his Grove, knowing now it might be useful even before he had Kunla in his clutches.

Egil’s torture would be different, of course, since he didn’t really want to hurt the man. But he would, if he had to, and it seemed important to know exactly how. He considered logical places to start—sensitive patches of skin and flesh now being touched by the lovers not far away. But he would need the skald fit to travel and play his lyre, to appear mostly undamaged to the outside world. His ability to pleasure priestesses might be useful, too, so Ruka would keep that in mind.

He constructed a simple bench with metal rings for ropes, much like the stockade he’d been locked in as a boy. He circled it, considering.

Where to start? He may be naked with priestesses, and he can’t look tortured or there will be questions and awkwardness. The teeth, he decided, would work, or the scalp. The singer wouldn’t need all the chewers at the back, and his thick hair would cover up wounds. It seemed a shame to damage such perfect teeth, but still, very logical. Good, he thought, the matter decided, tomorrow we’ll see.

And he honestly hoped he wouldn’t have to—that the man’s fear would help him see reason and obey. But mercy was weakness, useless, and Ruka had things to do. Killing the man would be wasteful; letting him go too much risk.

Ruka felt a smile coming to his body’s lips. Considering his inexperience and the complications, this seemed a rather elegant solution. He could hear the priestess’ moans escalating into muffled screams, and was pleased that Egil seemed to have some skill at rutting, even drunk. He went back to help the dead boys work on his Grove-forge, wrapping his cloak tight around his body and wedging it snugly into a small, triangle-shaped corner of the building that blocked the wind. He let it rest there while he worked, making sure it watched and listened for signs of Egil in case he tried to flee. But the night passed quiet save for the townsfolk going home, and the wind as it howled across Ruka’s shelter, or the night-birds as they honked and flew North in packs overhead.

Why do you fly in Vs, Ruka wondered, sure there was an answer, as he knew all questions had answers. Why do you squawk and screech knowing hunters loom in the darkness? And do you fly for the sea, or beyond?

In any case they’d return in the spring, he knew, as always. Just like the plants, Mother, just like the plants. He envied their freedom and speed and escape, their knowledge of the world and seeing it laid out before them, a clear, widened view from above like star-gods surveying all creation. As night fell even in Ruka’s Grove, he lay down for a moment to rest his eyes, wondering without hope of an answer, where men would fly, if they could.

21

Ruka wasn’t the only one waiting for Egil in the morning. He jerked awake, startled, legs half asleep from being bent and all but stuffed beneath him, then crept out and watched the early-morning habits of the town.

The brothers from the hall wandered the village even before any merchants, appearing around the time Ruka heard Egil and the priestess rutting again. They were armed. If the man was awake enough for that, Ruka’d thought with some scorn, he could have easily escaped when I rested.

But then the couple silenced, sleeping again, and the chance vanished. How much of our lives do we waste sleeping, Ruka wondered. These days he himself did little enough, resting his body only for hours when he felt safe, usually while he worked or planned in his Grove. Perhaps even this could be improved.

Ruka watched the sun as it cracked the horizon, and the ‘offended’ brothers as they stalked the town square. He noted Cheek-Scar’s weary eyes, and Limper’s unsure boredom. He watched how far they moved from each other, noting their strides, and the pattern of their search.

When Egil finally rose to leave he crept awkwardly through the back door. It led to a large garden surrounded by bushes and small trees, and was clearly the entrance he should have used last night. Ruka waited and stepped out the moment he closed the door.

“Good morning,” he whispered, and the bard spasmed in alarm, twisting to look for the source of the voice. When he saw Ruka he relaxed. “Seef’s mercy, boy, you scared me shitless.” He breathed out and shook his head.

“Did you think about what I said last night, Egil?”

The skald yanked on the door as if trying to seal it, then squinted as he carefully dodged Ruka’s eyes. “Brother, I’d forgotten you exist.”

Ruka sighed, disappointed at the tone. “Two men wait to hurt you, maybe kill you, Egil. You’ve lingered too long.” He’d already made his own plans, but felt curious how the singer would react.

“I’ve escaped dickless idiots before. Now shut up and get lost. Our deal’s off, you broke the rules.”

Ruka flinched at the weak tone and strong words, intended as a rebuke but expressed like a whine. He stepped forward.

“Don’t worry about the men, Egil. Now we make a new deal. It goes like this: You’ll do what I tell you, or I’ll kill you. You will serve me until I tell you otherwise, or I will kill you. If you attempt to flee, I will kill you. That is our ‘deal’. Do you understand?”

Egil’s face flickered with false humor, false contempt. “What…who the fuck do you think you are? We’re not in the wild, bloody hills now, boy. I’m not some starving, half-dead outcast.”

Ruka stepped forward again, now only a few paces away. “Everywhere is wild, Egil, and whatever I am, I’m not a boy. While you spent your night loving and sleeping I spent it imagining the ways I’ll punish you if you disobey. Do you want to see?” He let his genuine pleasure at the cleverness of the idea show, and he saw the twitch of fear.

“You’re insane.”

Ruka shrugged, because perhaps this was true. It made no difference. “We’re going North. I’ll still make you rich, Egil, if that’s your concern. For now you’ll tell me about all thirty-six chiefs in as much detail as you can, and the priestess hierarchy. But first we need to deal with these two.” He peered out from the wall at them.

“Just leave them.” Egil looked annoyed with himself for getting involved. “They’re armed, boy…and look like warriors. You’ll just get yourself killed.”

Weak and afraid, Ruka thought, just like the deer. Egil’s cowardice was useful, but annoying.

“They insulted me last night, and they struck my…retainer.” He nearly said servant but changed his mind. “It’s a matter of honor, Egil, of reputation. Just wait over there.”

Ruka knew heroes from the book killed for honor, or offense. They killed for less.

The brothers walked to opposite sides of the mostly empty gravel center, their attention turned from each other. They stood armed with knives and clubs and one had a spear, brazen in the open, nodding to the few merchants out with carts preparing for the day’s trade.

‘Limper’ hooked his belt with his thumbs and failed miserably to look idle. He was tall, pock-marked, and shaking his head to clear dirty red hair from his eyes as he scanned the houses. He saw Ruka coming—he didn’t try to hide—and fingered the wooden cudgel strapped to his leg as he began to say “Good morning, Rune-shaman…”

Ruka rushed him. He closed the distance with a few long strides, flipped up the knife hidden against his forearm, and rammed it just right of the man’s hard, leather cuirass. He grabbed Red-Hair’s sword-arm with his other hand, stopping him from drawing his own blade as he pulled the knife and plunged it again.

The man yelled, gasping, eyes wild with panic as he yanked to the side, trying desperately to shake his killer’s grip.

Ruka resisted, then let go, leaving the knife stuck in its bloody wound. He drew his opponent’s knife free of its scabbard and seized a handful of the long, red hair with his left. Then he stepped in and drove the blade under his chin.

The brother’s charge came loud and reckless. Ruka knew the length of his stride and the distance of the square. He counted footsteps while he calmly ripped the dying man’s cudgel from his leg, and didn’t bother looking across the gravel. By his speed, he must hold his spear. He means to skewer me like a wild boar.

Ruka waited, as if struggling with the weapon’s clasp. He listened to the crunches and hard breaths, the last gurgling spasms of the dead man, and counted.

Three, two, one…

He stepped over the corpse and spun, cudgel in his hand in a backstroke, all his body thrown into the swing. The six-foot spear flew past beneath his arm. If its wielder had planted in the ground, perhaps, he could have angled himself away, but his dead kin had enraged him. Another useful trait of men, Ruka thought, feeling a calmness, as usual, as if he only watched the violence from above.

The heavy club caught his enemy square, iron peg in its head driving somewhere between nose and mouth, the force of wood and bone exploding down Ruka’s arm.

Cheek-Scar’s nose collapsed, his jaw shattered, and his spear bounced forward from his grasp as he slammed back against the earth head first. Ruka knew instantly he was dead, or near enough, and watched the blood pool and mix with his brothers on the brown-grey mix of rock.

Ruka breathed and played it over again in his mind. He heard women shriek, a few men shout and gasp, but no one approached. It had seemed simple, but could have gone differently, he knew. The stabs to the first man’s side were a clear mistake. He could have stuck his weapon in the ribs, or been grappled and held while the other man killed him easily. I should have gone for the neck at once, he decided, and avoided the grasp.

He would dig the men graves in his Grove, and they would teach him in the afterlife, attacking again and again in his practice field.

“Bukayag.” The soft voice came from above, and it carried command. Ruka froze then turned to see the chief, Aiden, riding a grey warhorse outfitted for travel. He wore no armor, but two sword-scabbards stuck from his belt, and a long, yew bow rested on his back. If the man had only a knife Ruka would fear him. Aiden raised an eyebrow and stopped his horse. He said nothing more.

Ruka nodded low in deep respect. But I must be bold—I can not apologize.

“These men offended the gods. Now they belong to Noss.” He hoped he sounded calm, but his heart hammered in his chest.

Aiden shrugged as if it didn’t matter, then dismounted with the ease of a man raised on a horse. He didn’t look surprised, or concerned.

“May they find redemption in the mountain,” he said, fingering a silver-sword medallion around his neck—an old charm to Vol—which had not been there the night before.

Ruka tried desperately not to show his relief.

“You carry a great burden, Bukayag, son of Beyla, to hear the god’s will so.” Aiden unhooked one of the scabbards from his belt. Then, miraculously, he dropped to a knee. He held it out in presentation just as Ruka had. “I offer you this sword to replace your gift. I took it from the former chief of this village when I killed him in combat. It’s a fine blade, sharpened and tested in many battles, and it will serve you well.”

Ruka forced his hands out to lift it gently, every ounce of will required to stop them from trembling. He bowed and didn’t bother to unsheathe it—he could tell it was ten times the quality of the sword he’d given, and in his Grove he felt shame.

“Further,” Aiden stood, “I wish you to take this warhorse and saddle. His name is Sula, and he will carry you bravely, wherever you may lead.” Aiden stepped forward with Sula’s reins in his hand, his head lowered as if Ruka honored him by taking it.

Ruka accepted this, too, though he knew almost nothing about horses. He had seen herds on the edges of the steppes as an outcast, but their world was wide, open lands and endless fields of grass, bitter colds and shelterless wastelands not fit for men. Ruka looked at the mostly fur-less, muscled animal and knew it was nothing like the beast he’d used to flee from Alverel and later killed to survive. He watched the calm, unnerving darkness of the almost solid black eyes, and decided this one would likely kick his head off if he tried to kill and eat it.

He didn’t understand how Aiden could even own a horse, let alone give one away. His mind raced for a response.

“Your gifts are unnecessary, Chief of Husavik. But they are gratefully received.”

The big man smiled and stepped away, his hand stroking the horse’s flank. “I’ve placed other gifts in Sula’s traveling bags to ease your journey, shaman. I ask only, if it is not too bold, that you tell the gods when next you speak to them—Aiden, son of Talia, is theirs to command.”

He bowed again, eyes lowered in shame, as if this gift were not nearly enough for such a request. In his Grove, Ruka felt tears.

“The gods heard you, great chief. When the time comes, you will know.” He turned to walk towards Egil with reins in hand, praying the horse would follow.

The skald wore his neutral face, standing like a child who knew he’d done something wrong, and expected chastisement.

“Come,” Ruka said without stopping. His horse and ‘retainer’ followed.

Together they walked North along the road while the townsfolk stared. Their eyes felt like mosquitoes sucking at Ruka’s blood, and he felt himself scratching at nothing as he walked. I’ll have to get used to it, he thought, this is only the beginning.

He said nothing to Egil, and he could feel the man’s desire to speak and courage to do so warring as they reached the edge of Husavik’s border.

“We should try and sell the horse,” he said finally. “I know men for such things. It has great value, and if we’re ever challenged on its ownership…”

“No one but a priestess would question me.” The man’s greed and anxiety remained annoying. “And if that happens I will say truthfully it is a gift from Aiden of Husavik, and they will be free to take it from me, if they can.” Ruka’s tone had turned harsher than he’d planned, and he tried to control it. “We won’t need the coin,” he added, and could tell Egil wanted to protest. “I assure you, other men will give as much. In a few months we will have more silver than you ever dreamed.”

This seemed to pacify the skald, at least for now, and they walked in silence for a time, Ruka trying and failing to find calm.

“Last night,” he asked, “before you went to bed with the priestess, you spoke to her. What about?”

“Nothing important.” The response came frustratingly slow, Egil’s blank face betraying him instantly.

“I want you to tell me exactly what you discussed. Everything. Starting from the beginning.”

“If you were listening anyway, you bloody pervert, what’s the point?”

Ruka frowned as he understood. “You don’t remember.”

Egil said nothing, and Ruka left it at that. He decided to check Sula’s saddle-bags and found water-skins, several days worth of dried meats and hard bread, and feed for the horse. There was firewood and kindling, too, even a wine-skin. When he found this and some coin in a smaller pouch he could feel Egil’s eyes.

They traveled most of that day in silence, the weather milder already, as if the land beyond the belt were some foreign place, almost another world. Egil stripped a few layers of thick fur and draped them across the war-horse’s back, sweating visibly as they walked, kicking stones and looking miserable.

Sula, on the other hand, looked entirely at peace. He made no attempt to graze or pull away, though led by a strange hand and not ridden. He ignored the few travelers they encountered completely, and seemed to require no assurance, punishment, or affection. He could clearly tear Ruka’s arm off if he ran, and seemed not at all timid. His hind-quarters bulged with thick muscle, his neck arched beautifully, his back seemed short and strong. He looked agile and swift as well as powerful, and if ever an animal existed better suited to be controlled and ridden by men, then Ruka couldn’t imagine it.

This contrast between Sula and Egil rolled around his mind all day.

“Let’s make camp away from the road,” he announced as the sun dipped, though surely in the relative warmth they could have pushed on. Ruka tied Sula to a tree but gave his rope some slack, removing his baggage for the night. He made a fire but didn’t cook, eating the hard, dried pork in silence while Egil did the same.

He could feel the skald’s treachery in that silence, and in his still and careful eyes. The man feared Ruka, yes. He’d seen him kill and knew that with him he could surely make some kind of fortune. But he was still wild, unbroken, like a beast of the steppes. He was too confident, or not wise enough to see the danger he was in. Men are poor at judging risk, Ruka reminded himself.

They settled in to sleep by the fire, their bedrolls on opposite sides. Ruka let his body rest but he kept his eyes open and his ears alert. He could see and hear through them in his Grove, so long as he didn’t truly sleep, and he waited for hours listening to the sounds of Egil pretending, his back turned away.

Eventually, the breathing evened—whether by accident or cowardice—he’d given up on whatever plot lurked in his heart, at least for now. Ruka rose in silence, pulling out the length of rope he’d hidden in his blankets.

He didn’t know if the man slept deeply or not, so he moved slow and deliberately, careful with his steps. He wrapped a loop of rope around the blanketed form, then dropped his weight down in a rush, trapping him with his own furs while he tightened the rope. Egil awoke instantly, sputtering, while Ruka wrapped the rope around him again and again, violently pushing him against the ground as he tied it, bloodying his scalp a little from smashing his head against the rocky soil.

Pig in a blanket, he thought, and smiled.

“What…what the hell, what are you doing?” Egil spoke up only after he’d failed to resist.

Ruka shifted down to the man’s feet, struggling to remove the boots as his legs kicked in alarm and anger. He unsheathed his knife and cleaned it, then set the blade in the fire with its handle covered by a cloth. He turned Egil over so he could see it heating.

“I want to tell you about my plans,” Ruka said, “but I can’t trust you.”

The man’s eyes flicked from the blade to Ruka on his haunches, staring. “You can trust me, Ruka. I was angry about the hall, but it worked out. It’s still a good plan, our plan.”

“No.” Ruka shook his head. “It isn’t our plan, Egil. It’s your plan. And you can forget all that now.” He took out his hammer and chisel, setting them down near the fire as Egil’s eyes followed.

“My plan is to spend the next year learning everything I can about the Ascom. My plan is to rally the support of a dozen important chiefs while also earning ‘gifts’ and a reputation. My plan is to use those gifts and that reputation to recruit a small army of chiefless warriors. And my plan is to kill a priestess, and perhaps burn down a town.”

He let that all sink in, amused that it was true, and that it was all part of his plan.

“And you’re going to help me, Egil,” he continued. “You’re going to tell me everything you know about this world, in as much detail as you know it, including the past and personalities of the chieftains, and the tales of noteworthy, dishonored chiefless men. Then you’re going to tell great stories in meeting-halls before my official arrival, which will include the legend of Bukayag, the last Rune-Shaman. Do you understand?”

“Fine,” said Egil’s fear, “whatever you like.”

But it wouldn’t last, Ruka knew, not until that foolish confidence faded behind his eyes. He couldn’t be trusted to go somewhere alone until it went—couldn’t be trusted not to believe in himself more than Ruka.

“I thought I would have more uses for you, Egil. I thought perhaps you could seduce priestesses, and charm my enemies. But I was naïve, I see that now. You can’t be trusted to do such things, and that alters the condition you require.”

He felt strange saying these words. The boy who loved Beyla would never hurt a man like this. As he wouldn’t have killed farm-boys or eaten outcasts, or stabbed strangers in the streets. But then, Ruka knew, that boy was gone. He was hidden, perhaps. Or perhaps he died with her.

Egil wiggled his feet and shook his head. “I can be trusted. I can.” The fool couldn’t even manage to say why.

“No,” said Ruka, “you can’t. It’s important you understand there’s nothing you can say to stop this now. Nothing you can say to make me believe.” He wrapped his hand in another cloth, then lifted the red-hot blade by the handle.

“Please, please,” Egil begged, “I’ll do anything you say. You don’t need to do this.”

Ruka shook his head, disappointed. He wept again in his Grove. I have to, Mother, to do what you told me. I have to.

“You see?” he said, and sat down next to Egil’s feet. He held him from kicking by wrapping an arm around them and waited till they stilled. Then he lowered the steaming red blade, holding it beneath Egil’s foot, which jerked again when the man felt the heat. Ruka could have tied them tighter but chose not to. “Move,” he said, “and it will be worse. I may take more than I intend, Egil. But submit, and I may do less.” He waited. The feet still shook, but not as bad. And then he cut.

Egil’s howl of pain and horror echoed through the trees of Ruka’s Grove, so he covered his ears and stayed there awhile as the birds scattered. While he was away his body told Egil to stop struggling. It said this would go on for some time, and that it couldn’t have Egil running away, now could it? It told him he’d get to ride Sula, and wouldn’t that be nice? It gave him water and gently wiped the sweat from his brow, and said he’d done well before it sealed the wounds with flame while the man cried and screamed. It cut off his nipples while he begged and pleaded, and took a few back-teeth with the hammer and chisel. When it told him to open his mouth, or it would go through the cheek, he obeyed, and that seemed important.

In the morning it bandaged and fed him, slowly and painfully. It mashed up herbs the way Beyla did and covered the wounds which it said would help prevent corruption, and helped him clean his soiled underclothes and change into new ones as it had once done for his ill mother. It said Egil could have the whole day to rest because he’d done so well, maybe even two, and then they’d travel North. All the while it noticed that Egil’s screams didn’t bother Sula, who just stood near-by grazing.

Ruka only hoped in a few days Egil would be as useful a servant as his horse, and that the training would not be needed again. He thought it just and right that one should ride the other, as it was just that men should taste like pig.

As promised, two days later, after getting Egil untied and properly mounted, they went North. Ruka asked him to tell him everything he knew about the chieftains, starting with the next village, and even with his sore mouth Egil began right away, and was very thorough.

“Excellent,” said Ruka’s body when he’d finished, and Ruka finally returned from his Grove to hold the reins himself. The traveling skald really did have a useful set of knowledge, and could be important to Ruka’s purpose. He’d never wanted to hurt the man, nor anyone. At least anyone but Kunla.

Later he whispered a silent thanks to Egil for his sacrifice. He wished he could tell him that in the end it would be worth it—that misery gave way to joy and justice or redemption, and if Egil was ever in Ruka’s Grove then perhaps there it might be true. But in the land of ash, in the land where little boys were destined for misery before they could speak, Ruka said nothing.

22

“Brother, take over.”

Birmun tugged and almost lost his boot as he stepped from trench to grass. He rolled his aching shoulders and breathed, watching as it misted in the moonlight. His replacement nodded and stepped down without a word.

The night frosted their breath and the muck lay hard, but he and twenty nightmen had just added a fresh layer of waste that oozed around their feet like mud after a rain. Birmun leaned on his shovel and watched his brothers work, the thudding sound of iron and earth a comforting rythym that always settled his nerves.

The trench needed expanding before winter, and the nightmen would toil many hours yet digging and leveling the new ground.

“I need wine,” Birmun said. “I’ll bring you a skin.” He rose and dropped the cracked wood handle. “Now put your fucking back into it.”

The older man smirked and kept digging without looking up.

Birmun clucked his tongue. He turned towards the city, nodding to a few of the men resting tired arms, but kept walking, dragging his boots through the grass to clean off the goo.

He followed the Iron River, or ‘God’s River’ as some now called it, and wondered if it truly began at the Mountain where Bray wept for Noss, as people said, or if it was just the rain.

He took the bridge and moved deeper into Orhus, but took no torch and stayed in shadow on the wrong side of the moon to avoid the chief’s patrols. He noticed houses here had iron bars on their windows, and looked away.

Behind the bars he pictured children huddled in fear in their beds—children told not to go outside alone, told there were monsters in the darkness that could harm them. Of course Birmun and his men had only once harmed children, and they had never used a window.

What sort of monster is stopped by a little wood? A few rusty rods of metal?

He scratched his beard and realized he hadn’t shaved since Dala left, then snapped his hand away and picked up his pace. She’s gone on to greater things. She won’t want you anymore.

His feet took him along circle-corners whenever possible. Some houses were built too far apart, and a small space would run between them through to the other side, often filled with refuse and homeless, wild dogs and rats. He couldn’t remember which he could cross but got lucky and squeezed through two, groping in the darkness and trying to avoid stepping on the living.

On the third his boots thumped something hard, and he sprang aside and clutched sharp fence that cut his hand. He mumbled an apology to silence, blinking and squatting to find a corpse on its back, pale green eyes now visible in the gloom, chest bloody and pierced near the heart.

Another useless duel over nothing, he thought, and another man left to rot without one kin to return him to ash.

Birmun closed the boy’s eyes and kept walking. He would send a nightman to collect him later.

We’ll bury you in the soil, Brother, and at least there you won’t be alone.

Most would have him burned, if they’d loved him, but Birmun had once stumbled into the hearth as a boy and felt the agony of flame. He bore scars on his palms still, and since writhing for weeks and close to death from corruption, he had always feared fire.

And it’s a waste, he thought, when their flesh can feed the earth or the animals.

Every nightman knew life and death as a cycle, intertwined and messy. Returning to ash was just a dream.

What is ash, but dust, spread out over the fields and streets in the wind?

Cremation and all ‘death rituals’ seemed just more vanity—another chance for those who saw themselves as somehow better, removed from the world by divine creators who would welcome them home at last, rather than return them to the mud from whence they sprung. To the corpse it made no difference.

As Birmun moved closer to the edge of the city, thin, beech houses became expensive cedar; plank-nailed roofs and pitiful yards became thatched estates with gardens and trees.

Most of the noble classes would have guards posted at doorways and gates. Birmun could only hope months of calm, fruitless watches would have made them inattentive.

His palms sweated, though he couldn’t quite admit to himself why. It will be there, or it won’t. And if it isn’t then I go home as if nothing ever happened, and even if I’m seen no one will find me in this darkness.

But he suspected it would be there, right where he’d left it—his father’s sword and iron hauberk, likely rusted and still battered from their final duel.

The crowd had dispersed those years ago and left Birmun with his father’s corpse. The warriors who had been the man’s sworn retainers turned and followed their new chief, and they’d left his body in the gutter.

Birmun the child stayed and screamed at the wild dogs that circled. Though he was just a boy, and his father heavy, he had dragged him all afternoon through the dirty streets while people pointed and stared. He dragged him on circle edges and hoped a horse didn’t crush him, gasping for air after each block and meeting the eyes of onlookers. No one had helped him.

When he’d finally found the edge of the city he wept and said Seef’s blessings, and though every muscle in his arms and back were strained he’d stripped his father’s arms and armor, bringing them to the fir tree closest to the home that would soon not be his. He’d dug a hole and buried his father with his sword, and had never once returned until now.

Much had changed since then. Roads now criss-crossed over the land that was once wild grass; poor fields replaced most everything else, though Birmun suspected the soil too dry and barren to yield much more than a yearly crop of stones.

Few trees stood here when he was a boy, but even fewer now. Birmun ducked instinctively as he crept by the fences of vast estates and ancestral homes that had stood for hundreds of years. His mother’s house had two tall trees—one with small, sour apples he and his brothers had thrown at each other as much as eaten. He could hear their laughter still, but their faces blurred into round shapes with moving freckles, and all he could think now was how much food they’d wasted in their games.

The second tree was an ash, and his brothers said it was two hundred years old. It seemed to lean forward, branches spread wide and stretched out so that the silhouette hung like a walking giant trying to uproot. It had haunted Birmun’s dreams as a child, and now as then he felt a sense of dread in spotting it.

Memories came of his sisters sitting in the shade, teasing him to come and stop being so silly. Dark hair and smiles, word games and tickling—his sisters had always been kind to him. They would be grown now with mates and children of their own, and some might live still in the house with his mother. They could be there now, asleep and oblivious, not a hundred feet away, healthy and happy. The thought brought him no comfort.

He stood still staring at the barren ground before his mother’s fence, blinking and frozen as he realized the marker—the tree near his mother’s fence he’d used to judge the distance—was gone. Cleared, no doubt, to make room for more useless field. The god damned bastards, he thought. They had no right.

How deep did I bury it?

Back then it felt deep, but perhaps this was only the exhausted perception of a child. Perhaps he’d hardly covered it. Perhaps some farmer had since struck the iron with his plow and dug it up, then given it to his mother, who’d no doubt have it melted.

Birmun crept to the patch of ground he thought was closest. Dry, brown earth that should have been left to fallow instead held the sparse stubble of harvested wheat. Birmun raised his shovel and wondered idly if his mother still owned the land before he struck.

As a boy he’d used his hands and a sharp rock, and though this time the season’s cold made the ground hard, he moved it swiftly. I’ve had a great deal of practice since then, he thought, feeling the worn wood vibrate painlessly against his callused hands. He dug cautiously at first, listening for the sounds of guards after nearly every stroke, but his pace increased when he heard none and time went on. He looked back at the row of stakes tied with rope that his mother’s kin built, and tried to see it through his mind’s eye as he had as a child. Is the distance right? Was it further West?

He dug one hole, then moved, then dug another, soon scolding himself for a fool as he questioned the depth, telling himself again and again the farmer took it—give up. The farmer took it and returned it and it’s gone like everything else.

But still, he kept on digging. He worked like he had the first few shifts as a nightman, pounding at the earth until his fear and hate and rage hid behind exhaustion, all memory of the past swallowed by toil.

I should have brought water, he thought, this could take me all night.

He almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. A dead man’s son sneaking in the dark, a silly childhood dream of vengeance. What did it even matter now, truly? By now the sword was likely rusted, bent and brittle from combat and age, as dusty as the dead man’s bones. The armor hadn’t saved his father. Now it was buried with the blood and at least one hole cut through the heart.

What do I think I’m doing? What will this even achieve?

It was about Dala now, he knew, as much as his father. He needed something to forget her, something to occupy his thoughts while time eroded her rejection. She had needed him and his nightmen before, but not now. One day she’d no doubt return to Orhus a priestess, but by then she would need new and greater servants. She would need day-men, warriors and chiefs, perhaps even other women to serve her purpose. She would need men of means and the movers of power to make her dreams reality. She would not need Birmun.

He kept digging. Many times before he’d looked out to the future and saw nothing but emptiness, failure and grief, and long ago he learned the remedy.

I can still drive two feet of old iron through the men who killed my father. I can kill the men who butchered my brothers. I can still have my revenge.

He repeated the words again and again in his mind like a prayer. It no longer mattered if he had to catch the killers squatting over a bucket or stuffing their mouths with bread as he butchered them. The dead did not care why, or how.

His shovel cut his father’s arm at the wrist before he noticed and stopped. Only bone and a few specks of rotten cloth remained, and in something between amusement and madness Birmun thought even the worms have moved on.

He fell to his knees and cleared dirt with his hands, soon brushing over the plain grip of his father’s sword, unadorned and sturdy like its wielder. He touched the blade, still sharp enough to cut his callus, and a memory of his father grinding it came uncalled. Every year after winter’s last freeze he sat outside his hall with his sons and a whetstone, clearing dust and laying out iron, polishing his armor in view of all. “Work is honorable,” he’d say, as his eager boys cleaned his armor and swept the stairs. “No man, not even a chief is above it.”

The world went blurry and Birmun blinked back tears. “Would you be proud of me, Canit?”

He pictured all the men he’d killed, then the boys and women too in his night of blood. “What would you have done, Father? Would you have given up? Would you have chosen death?”

It made no difference anymore, he knew, his father was a corpse. His brothers who had raged and fought against the murderers were corpses, and only Birmun remained. Birmun the nightman, the dishonored, who had sworn no vengeance before his father’s killer and taken his ‘gifts’ to live in peace, who had lied, who had destroyed his name and reputation for the hope of paying blood for blood.

But his mother still lived. The ‘loyal’ men who had left their lord’s corpse in the street still lived. They did not all deserve death, perhaps, but nor were they innocent. If Birmun took the chief’s life in the night they would never know who did it or why. Perhaps they would blame it on ‘the troubles’ and forget. They would not be forced to stare their guilt in the eye until the shame hovered like a storm-cloud and soaked them to the bone. All men speak of honor and virtue, but only my father fought and died for it.

Fear for his own life faded as Birmun accepted this. He had come tonight to clear his mind of Dala, true. He had fought for her, killed for her, but in the end she was only a distraction. He had stayed alive for all those years for a reason, and it wasn’t her. He had buried his father’s sword and armor for a reason.

For your memory, Father, I’ll do this one last thing. I’ll cast off the night-man and fight for honor as you did. And then, live or die, at last, I will be free.

* * *

“Should we go with you, Chief?”

Birmun shook his head. He knew the idea terrified them, and they’d be little help regardless. “I go alone. If I fall, bury me with my brothers.”

He’d gathered the dirt-stained iron and covered his father’s bones, then cleaned the pierced hauberk with water and lemongrass. Using his shovel he sharpened the dull patches of sword-edge blunted in battle, polishing it with the cleanest rags he had. He donned a tunic of grey wool so the holes in his armor would be less clear, leather boots he’d scoured with water and a rock from all trace of trench, and a scabbard he’d bought from a baffled smith. His brothers watched him go and said nothing more.

Now he walked alone and in plain sight through the open gate of ‘Old Orhus’, which used to be another town entirely, but was now connected by a bridge to the place that subjugated it. He felt like everyone watched him. You’re not used to it, that’s all. No one looks at a nightman.

His path was much the same as it had been the night before, his father’s hall not far from his old house. Birmun crossed the Iron Bridge, oddly comforted by the river’s strong fall current, stopping at the edge to feel spray on his face, the sound drowning the world, if only for a moment.

When he felt he’d lingered too long he forced a foot from the wet, strong planks towards his childhood home. More than ever he noticed the warriors. He stood taller than most and broader in the shoulders, but he was thin, almost fatless, and his eyes, he was sure, held no such calm and undimmed confidence.

Every day of his life he had toiled in place of lounging around a greater man eating from his table, playing with swords and looking fierce. But he had never truly fought with warriors, never tested himself against them.

I should have practiced with a real sword. I should have prepared for this.

He cursed himself for a fool and gripped the pommel of his father’s weapon. It was not so different than a shovel, perhaps, and he tried to find calm. He had wielded handles all his life, whether rakes or trenchers, spades or hammers, and it was similar. It must be similar.

I am young and can toil all day. I will outlast him. I will wear him down until his guard drops and his strength is gone—as long as I can stay alive.

Birmun sweat though the sun hid behind clouds and the breeze whistled across his skin. It’s just the layers and the armor, I’m not used to such clothes.

He pictured meeting his mother’s eyes, guts twisting as if pulled, no matter what he told himself.

Would he find hatred there? Disgust? Or simply shame? Would she look on him as nothing, a reminder of a failed man and a discarded life?

Perhaps she won’t be there. There’s no reason she should be. To me the day is special but to her it is just another day.

The hall and its business existed for men. The chiefs’ retainers determined property rights, heard disagreements, and managed nearly all daily business in Orhus. Chief’s themselves mostly looked on, punishing criminals who’d broken the Order’s laws when necessary, arbitrating feuds, approving duels—or just pea-cocked with their men.

Chief Suren would be in his hall with his retainers and male kin, but his Matron and daughters would be at home or the market or with their peers. Women didn’t concern themselves with such things.

“Oy, you, watch where you’re…”

Birmun crashed waist first into the side of a moving cart, rocking it sideways and spilling vegetables with a grunt.

“Sorry, I…”

He looked up at the driver and prepared to kneel and help gather before he realized the man’s face went stark white.

“No, please, I hadn’t...it was my fault. Please, don’t. I’ll do that.”

The merchant leapt from his old, furry horse and dropped to his knees, head bowed low in Birmun’s direction as he mumbled and scooped produce from the mud. Passers-by turned away, or, if they were young men, stopped to watch.

He’s afraid I’ll kill him, right here, for a thing that’s my fault.

Birmun stilled and took his hand off his sword. Its existence on his belt signaled ‘here is a man who seeks fame and glory,’ and more than anything it told the world its wielder’s profession was violence. The merchant had spoken before he saw it.

Birmun walked away without another word, noting the disappointment in the watchers’ eyes. He wished he could scream and show them suffering that would drain their bowels and shame them like the children they were for wishing for a stranger’s blood. But he sped his pace and kept his eyes ahead, mind fighting to stay in the present.

Soon he passed the crumbling statue of Vol that signaled old Orhus’ heart—the first settled townships—his granite, fingerless hand stretched towards the sky with horn raised, though it looked now more like a cup. He passed a crevasse in the earth that grew every year—a place where single-born were once dumped and left for Noss, and men now called the Mountain’s Hollow.

But they no longer discard their children, he thought, without respect. Now and since the laws, mothers just abandon them to suffer and die in poverty, or else become nightmen.

All around the Hollow stood other crumbling statues of the old gods, abandoned by the North here both in worship and care, left standing perhaps in superstition, or as a lesson. The past is gone, they whispered with half-broken mouths, reaching forever to Tegrin, or perhaps nothing, as their bodies melted in the rain.

The greatest chiefs held session here, though Birmun’s father and now Chief Suren were not amongst them. He felt the stares of young women and other armed men crawling over his skin like fleas, wondering if it was just the hated insects in truth, struggling not to scratch.

Statues and trade became old, broken down forts, watchtowers and walls, the children of the rich playing in the ruins. Young warriors practiced here with wooden swords and Birmun tried to imagine it as it had been—when the fences were more than ornamental, the spikes braced to skewer invading horsemen and not just block sight and dogs. Even bridges now were built without gates, hard even to destroy from the builder’s side. We’ve grown weak, he thought, thinking of stories Dala told him of the steppes, where men were all but born on horseback and had no laws.

But there are almost none of such men left, he knew. All of them gone except tiny packs, surrounded by herds of wild horses. Just another failed tribe.

He jerked when he heard laughter, then caught sight of wide, double doors held open by planks cut for the purpose. His father’s hall looked much the same as it had years ago. Grass, spruce trees and gravel paths surrounded it, sparsely mixed with the sons of the chief’s retainers.

It had been Birmun’s grand-father’s too, who had won it in combat from another man, then managed to give it peacefully to his son.

Voices echoed from within and Birmun swayed from the weight of memory. It even smells the same, he thought, closing his eyes as the now mostly-brown needles, moist from the rain, hit him in soft waves of familiar wind. To despoil it all with violence felt wrong, and unnatural. He would shatter a peaceful scene with harsh words and blood, and perhaps it would become some of the children’s first memory.

I could still turn around. I could bury my sword and leave this place, and no one would know.

He swallowed and wondered which of the voices belonged to his father’s killer; he wondered how many of the sons playing outside might have belonged to his brothers, had they survived. And soon foot followed foot towards the hearthfire, which was already lit though the evening was not cold.

My father would have saved the wood, he thought, and brought his retainers close for warmth.

He stood at the entrance and looked at the crowd. Men sat in a ring with Chief Suren and his twin raised on a platform at the end. They were all armed and in clean, washed tunics, beards trimmed or cut. Their mates sat in chairs along the walls, hair brushed or tied, their dresses red and matching.

A young man’s first blooded duel, Birmun understood at once. He looked to the youth in a seat of honor near the chief, stained cloth tied around his head and arm. Older warriors beside him had their hands on his back, laughing and perhaps telling stories of their own trials while the boy nodded, pale-faced, failing to pretend he wasn’t wounded and in pain.

Birmun scanned the faces flickering in hearth-light, looking last, and with difficulty, to the seat he knew would hold his mother.

Her dress fit snug over a strong, healthy body, and her eyes sparkled as she looked on the young man. Her hair and face had been dabbed with red dye, her daughters and fellow mothers leaning in close as if vying to share in her moment of glory.

The boy is no more than twelve.

Birmun looked on him and tried to see the faces of his brothers, and couldn’t. He felt the tears building. They’re dead and gone and their mother sits in comfort next to their killer, raising his sons with pride.

He drew his father’s sword.

“Vengeance.”

A few men near-by looked at him, but emotion had choked the sound, and his voice did not pierce the din and merrymaking. He walked out to be seen more clearly, his polished iron shining, his height towering him over the seated guests.

“Suren, son of Brenna.”

Quiet spread as the guests spotted him and whispered, conversation ending like a receding tide.

“I call you out.”

Chief Suren raised a hand, needlessly, for silence. His gaze swept Birmun from feet to face, and lingered.

I’m wearing his armor. But do I look like him? Do you see a shade risen before you from the night, you honorless, child-murdering bastard?

“Who are you? How dare you speak so in my hall.”

A hundred dreams of this moment scattered, useless. In some he had pictured himself welcomed as a hero, in others he’d cut through a hundred warriors and claimed revenge. Sometimes, he was simply mobbed and beaten and left to die in the street like his father.

I must act. I must be bold. Or else they will not honor my challenge.

“It’s not your hall, and I go where I please.”

Suren squinted as the room waited for his response. “Birmun?” he said at last, and his face seemed to relax, though his posture did not. “Did the trench diggers run out of wine? No need for dramatics. Someone give him a flask.”

Young men laughed and some moved to hand over their skins. But the older, grey-haired warriors stayed. Birmun recognized some who had served his father. They sat still, or froze in place like the broken statues outside, expressions mute as they stared.

Have you seen this moment in your dreams, too? Birmun wondered. Am I a hundred nightmares of shame made real?

“I’m not here for wine. I’m here for you.” He raised his sword until it all but glowed in the hearth-fire.

No one laughed now, except the chief.

“Beat your shovel into a knife, did you? Should have cleaned off the shit.”

He referred to a dark splotch near the tip—the one spot Birmun had intentionally left. Again the young men joined their mocking voices with their master, and again the old stayed paralyzed.

He should keep talking, Birmun thought, he should not let the room go quiet and give me time to speak.

But again the room waited and all ears turned to Birmun.

“Don’t you recognize it? It’s my father’s blade.” He pointed. “It cut that scar on your cheek. This is your blood.” He showed his teeth. “So I guess you’re right, it is shit.”

The youth howled until Suren’s brother Sima stomped a foot for quiet. The older warriors only waited.

“Get him out of here. Get him out.” Suren waved a hand and settled back as if the matter were settled, and a few young men stood. Birmun eyed them, knowing he must strike to kill the first who approached or be lost. They watched him and chattered amongst themselves, drinking from their cups and chuckling as if it were all amusing. None moved to take him anywhere.

“I am Birmun, son of Camuka, and son of Canit, former chief of Orhus.” He stepped forward and felt his sword-arm tremble, but not from fatigue. “I am son to a slaughtered man, and brother to slaughtered boys. You owe me a debt of blood, Chief, and by all the gods, you will pay it.”

He heard a woman rise, but he did not look.

The men of Suren’s hall had stopped laughing now, and all their chatter too.

“A nightman can’t challenge anyone. By law I should take that sword and have you beaten just for holding it.”

Birmun scoffed with as much force as his lungs could give. “Take it by law. Have me beaten. What sort of man is this? I come armed and piss on your honor; I call you murderer of children, and you hide behind the Order’s skirts? Face me, or I say you’re a coward.”

Some of the young men sipped quietly at their cups.

He may tell them to cut me down like a wild dog, Birmun thought, but will they do it?

“Finish it, Brother. Leave him bloody on the street like his father.” Sima stood beside his twin and spit on the floor, disgust showing on his face, Birmun thought, but not in his eyes. Perhaps he wants his brother’s chair, and hopes he’ll be wounded badly or die in the duel.

Suren tossed his hands in dismissal. “Did you not give up your vengeance? Have you not taken my gifts and charity for years since that day? Where is the honor in that?”

Many of the men looked from their chief to Birmun, caught up in a story they did not know.

“Should I have fought you with my wooden toys, Great Chief?” He paused and let all the hate of his boyhood bubble to the surface. “But I thank you for your gifts. I will speak of your generosity when they burn your corpse to ash.”

Throats refrained from clearing, cups held stiffly in hands. Birmun did not look at his father’s old retainers, nor glance away at all. He stared only at the chief.

“End it, Suren. Re-unite him with his kin in hell.”

“Aye, kill him!” One of the older boys at the chief’s side stood. Another of his son’s, Birmun thought, another of my half-brothers.

Others stood from benches and chairs to take up the call—mostly youth who’d never lain with a woman, nor ever had to fight to the death. “Kill him, lord!” “Cut out his wagging tongue!” Soon all the younger warriors had joined with calls for blood and honor, as if they knew the meaning of either.

Finally Suren rose. He seized the hilt of a sword held up by his son, then plunged his arm through the straps of an offered round-shield.

“So be it.”

He came down the steps of his platform, Birmun’s mother stepping beside him, her face pale, her eyes blazing with what Birmun imagined was anger, or perhaps fear.

“There’ll be no burning for you,” his enemy snarled. “I’ll feed you to my dogs and laugh when they leave you as droppings on the street.”

The crowd swept Birmun out of the hall and into the courtyard. Boys at play went wide-eyed and fled, many tripping over themselves and each other in their haste to escape the mob, some thrown if they didn’t move away.

“Give them room!” A bull-necked giant with rings in his ear pushed his fellows to clear the center.

Suren raised his arms, and his retainers sheathed him in polished chain. Birmun watched fat leak out from under his tunic and furs, heard him grunt as he bent to pick up his sword and shield.

He has a shield, and I do not. But he has grown old, and fat, and secure. He will tire quickly.

The old chief rolled his neck and shoulders and clanged the flat of his iron against the metal boss of his shield. Fear shrunk his pupils, but he moved with confidence and held his back straight, his arms up.

Unlike me, Birmun knew, he has done this before.

“Words are easy, trench digger. Now you die like your father.”

Don’t let him goad you. Remember caution. You must out-last him.

Birmun stepped forward and prayed he wouldn’t be so out-matched and ignorant he’d die in seconds.

Doesn’t matter. Corpses feel no shame.

The crowd settled in a ring and took up shouts, fists shaking and wine spilling on the ground as they struggled to keep away.

Birmun took the first swing, light and testing, and Suren knocked it away with his shield and grinned as the crowd roared.

“Not like a shovel, eh nightman?”

Birmun grit his teeth and swung a second, then a third slice from right to left, left to right, but still only with his arms and not his body. Suren deflected them and jerked forward enough to send Birmun stepping away.

“What’s wrong? Afraid to die?” The man’s eyes expanded as he lost his fear. And perhaps rightly so, Birmun thought.

The chief attacked now, first swing hard and steady, and Birmun did his best to catch the angle with his sword and deflect it away. Another strike followed, then another and another, and every clash of iron trembled through his arms, every blow knocking him slightly more off balance as he retreated around the clearing.

“Dirt doesn’t fight back, mongrel. It takes more than muscle to kill a man.”

The clang, clang, clang of battle became the thud, thud, thud of shovel on earth in Birmun’s mind. It’s not so different, he thought, no matter what you say.

He gripped the leather cover on his blade and thought it softer than any grip he’d held in his life. The shock from the blows was hard, but no harder than stone or half-frozen soil. He back-pedaled away to the far side of the ring while the chief stopped and breathed.

“He calls me coward, then runs?” The men laughed, and for all the world now the chief looked swelled and unafraid. “Find your nerve, boy. We’ll wait till you’re ready.”

Birmun curled both sweaty hands around the pommel of his father’s sword. He wants me to over-reach. He wants to anger me. Wants me to swing wildly in rage for his head so he can step in and pierce my guts.

Birmun had no understanding of how to out-step and position a trained fighter to land a killing blow, nor how to slip past a shield. And Suren wasn’t tiring as quickly as he’d hoped. His neck-flush and layer of fat is perhaps more health than sloth.

He breathed and resigned himself. His father had been out-fought and killed like this—outwitted by a man he’d no doubt underestimated. I’ll never win his way, I’ll die from a strike I can’t predict, or a step I don’t understand.

He took the stance of a digger. One foot forward, sword back and pointed behind. I won’t go around or under or above your defenses, ‘Chief’. I’ll cut straight through.

Birmun shifted his weight and surged ahead as if in a charge, then slowed as he closed the gap. All around him men cheered just as they had when his father died.

He swung the heavy sword like a field-hand—two-fisted and hard, but controlled. His target stood still, his shield held high. The blow crashed loud against the wood, and though Birmun feared a counter would come, he didn’t wait. He whirled the iron with its own momentum and struck again, then again, each blow fast and harsh enough Suren paused and braced behind his shield. Birmun hacked as he had a hundred thousand times in tempered hate at frozen soil, never pausing to think of future or danger or why or when or how.

Suren’s sword rose to strike, then fell, rose and fell, his shield arm up and bouncing back with the blows, so hard and swift that neither man had time to move or change their stance.

Wood crunched and splintered around the metal boss and still Birmun chopped as if he hoed weeds. The men screamed, surprised and caught in the bloodlust, howling their pleasure at the show. Birmun soon heard only his own cry, rising as if without his call and drowning the noise, a decade of rage released as if somehow he could break his own world apart with his father’s sword—as if he could cut away all the shame and anger at this man, at his father for leaving him, at his brothers for getting killed, at his mother and sisters for never once coming to see him.

Somewhere in the violence he stopped wanting blood or vengeance or justice. He wanted only a release from so much hatred, from the corruption eating away at his heart.

The shield before him—the layer of wood and leather stopping his sword became all the lies he ever told himself, all the reasons that justice couldn’t be today, all the reasons he’d stayed another night in the hall of the man who destroyed his life while he did nothing. The shield held and cracked and clanged as the boss rang with blows. And then it shattered.

Suren ducked and ran forward as it came apart. Part of his arm sloughed off and sprayed Birmun with blood and chips of wood as he crossed the circle and turned, eyes fixed in horror at the bloody wreck of his arm, which dripped a red river down broken and misshapen fingers.

Birmun felt the world return and wondered where he’d gone, and how long he’d hacked at that shield. He moved to follow and felt pain, then looked and saw the chief had sliced him as he passed. The bone of his hip showed clear, a line of red open halfway across his stomach just under his father’s mail. He didn’t know how deep it was, but it hurt.

“Finish it!” called Sima’s voice, and Birmun wondered who he was speaking to.

Suren’s face had paled, his teeth clenched hard in agony. The fear returned to his eyes and mixed with a kind of terror Birmun had seen in victims in the dark. He woke up this morning whole and happy, he thought. He lay in fine furs and made love to my mother. He ate a warm breakfast and kissed his daughters as he left. And now he knows he’s going to die.

Already the sounds of the crowd seemed diminished, though he knew they shouted like madmen. Birmun breathed hard and stilled, looking at the shattered remnants of his enemy’s shield, hoping his rage had shattered with it and knew deep down it was only dulled, sated like lust until its inevitable return. Will it die with the man, he wondered? Can it ever truly be killed?

The old men in the crowd seemed for the first time more than statues. Some had hands on each other’s arms, others held the handles of their swords, and Birmun wondered how many had served his father. He thought of them for the first time as men with families and interests to protect—as pulled and torn by the conflicting demands of honor, and not just cowards.

He raised his father’s sword to rest against his forehead and closed his eyes, then walked forward despite the pain. The chief was broken, but not yet finished. Birmun reminded himself a wounded animal was dangerous, and he approached slow and cautious again, jabbing the point of his blade to see what strength the man had left. The answer was some.

With his sword-arm, Suren parried, though he winced with every step and shock, and it seemed clear his shoulder was dislodged, perhaps his collar-bone snapped. Birmun knew he should still be careful, but he wanted this to end. He planted his foot and swiped at the other’s body, hoping to brush aside his blade and sap what little strength remained. Instead, the chief met it.

Suren planted and swung hard, and as the swords clashed and the sound displaced the crowd’s roar, Birmun’s sword snapped at the hilt.

Most of the iron flew and bounced off the dirt. Birmun followed the swing and crashed head-long into Suren, knocking them both to the ground with Birmun on top. He held the man’s good arm with his left, staring into the wide, panicked eyes that had still not accepted the end. The ‘chief’ screamed feral and low, like a wolf’s growl with its leg in a trap, and Birmun drove down the broken fragment of his father’s sword into open mouth.

He stayed kneeling till the death-sounds had quieted, panting as he looked up at the dark blue sky, and for a moment, a perfect moment that forced him to fight a broken sob, he found peace in that death.

“Do you claim his title?”

Sima stood on the far side of the clearing, and Birmun noticed now he had layered in mail and leather as his brother had. His hand rested on the silver pommel of a five foot greatsword, murder lurking in his eyes.

Birmun almost laughed at him. He wished only to choose his own life now and find peace away from warriors and their precious honor, from priestesses and their lies. He wished only it could be done.

“No,” he said, and almost smiled as he watched his brothers’ killer lift his head and relax. “But I’ll have your debt next.”

The men around him blinked and looked at their fellows as if perhaps they’d misheard.

Sima’s eyes narrowed. “You’re injured, your sword broken. There’s no honor in killing you now.”

Birmun grimaced as he rose, lifting the dead chief’s sword. “You killed my brothers,” he said, more for the onlookers than the man. “You killed frightened little boys from horseback. And now you stop for honor?”

Voicing this truth felt like swallowing poison, the peace he’d found so quickly shattered. This time, he thought, live or die, this time, perhaps, the hate will be gone.

But he held no grand delusions of surviving another fight. Sima looked strong and confident, at least a match for his brother. Birmun didn’t care. He had nothing to lose, and only peace to gain, in success or failure.

Sima simply charged. He unsheathed his greatsword and screamed, neck bulging from the effort as he extended his blade behind, then stopped to swipe it across with his full weight and strength.

Birmun dropped his sword. He rushed, ignoring the fire in his hip, dashing past the arc of Sima’s swipe. He wrapped his left arm over both of Sima’s as if struggling for the huge weapon, but really just trapping them. They stood face to face, crushed together, Birmun with his right hand free. “For Rand,” he said, unsheathing Dala’s dagger from the wool flap on his thigh. He buried it into Sima’s neck, just overtop of his mail.

“For Solvig,” he hissed, jerking out the blade just so he could drive it back in. Sima’s strong arms still pulled at the useless sword, eyes bulged in shock, spittle dripping down his jaw. “For Aric,” Birmun screamed as they both fell to the earth. He pulled his knife and sprayed himself with blood, howling as he plunged it into the man’s cheek with both hands, watching every scrap of rent flesh and dying twitch as he’d watched Dala writhe naked atop him, not knowing which sight and feeling was more glorious.

“For my father,” he said calmly at the end, straddling the second corpse, his rage spent and gone, body suddenly too tired even to rise. He looked up at the slack-jawed faces of the onlookers, and saw three sets of twins struggling in the arms of older warriors. He knew at once these were the dead men’s sons. His half-brothers. “Go,” he said to them, then louder, “go in peace and no one will harm you.”

They flung off the men’s arms, and in the eldest pair he saw the hatred he knew so well. He did not blame them.

He looked past the ring of warriors towards the hall and saw his mother leaving with his sisters. She had watched from the raised platform of the entrance, just as she had watched his father. Tears leaked from her eyes as she looked on the corpse of her mate, or perhaps mates, of more than ten years. She met Birmun’s eyes, lingered, then turned away.

The world felt no different as Birmun rose. He mutely accepted the loyalty and fealty of the crowding men around him in a daze, though he had not claimed the title. He hardly felt the strong hands as they propped him up and cleaned and bound his wounds. Nor did he long see the looks of awe, fear and loathing from the young warriors whose faces he did not know, nor the mix of shame and pleasure, and the gentler handling by his father’s old retainers.

He did not more than glance, more than note these things, because he did not want them. He didn’t want their love, nor hate, their fealty or their oaths. He couldn’t feel it, couldn’t accept it truly, for he could think of nothing but the last look in his mother’s eyes—the mother he hated perhaps as much or more than the men he’d killed.

In her tears and eyes he’d found more than sadness. In the swallow and set line of her mouth that formed like armor as if to cover up something more, but couldn’t, he’d found confusion, and pain. He wondered, no, assumed he must have imagined it—must have secretly hoped and dreamt for it all his life. And now he held back the sob at the bitter, wasteful madness of life and death and everything.

In that sad, helpless look—despite the second destruction of her life, Birmun saw his mother’s pride.

23: Wet Season. 1577 A.E.

The first thing was the darkness, though he’d opened his eyes. Then Kale felt something lodged in his mouth, rough cloth over his face, and a numb, trapped sensation in sore limbs. He could hear wheels as they rolled over rocks every few moments, and his whole world became cringing before his bladder bounced.

Gradually, he recalled Eka’s hands around his throat—which didn’t seem sore—then remembered the casual disregard of his father. Before long he pulled at the bonds on his hands with all his strength before his mind gave it much thought. Feels like rope, he decided, but bound so tight he couldn’t tell what kind, or how it was knotted. In fact he couldn’t even wiggle his fingers.

The agony of his situation caught up with him, too, and left him lying still, and cold. Unless he could escape, which seemed unlikely, he would be left at the monastery for months; Lani would have her candle ceremony, and then she would be gone, and Kale would never see her again. And even if somehow he did escape or pass the tests and see her, his father thoughts were abundantly clear. The only options would be to disobey—to convince Lani to come with him, and to flee, or to accept his father’s wishes.

A small voice told him he was still an Alaku prince, and that all the things he’d learned about himself and his generally bright future remained true. He could do good things with his life and serve some purpose still. He loved his brother no less, and he could still repair the damage he’d caused with his father, if he wanted to. He knew all these things, but he didn’t care. He knew he loved Lani more than he knew anything else, and next to that knowledge it all seemed meaningless. Accepting any other life was to give up the point of living in the first place. Cowardly. A form of suicide.

The wagon, or whatever it was, eventually stopped. Kale could smell the sea, and he heard a covering come off from above before two pairs of hands tried to pick him up. He thrashed, kicked, grunted, and generally made a fuss—for a childish moment, perhaps, considered urinating all over himself—but was soon being carried, and then carefully dumped into what was clearly a boat. He could feel the warmth of the sun now, and the brazen kidnapping in the middle of the day without fear of interference pissed him off—as did whatever they’d stuffed in his mouth to prevent him from screaming obscenities.

He heard the sail catch wind, then the boat pulling away from shore. By the feel of it on the waves Kale could tell it was a small outrigger—a military scout ship, he guessed, and the knowledge gave him some smug satisfaction. An unfamiliar voice with a strange accent said “Should I untie him, now? Can’t very well run away.” Eka’s voice responded immediately, and firmly. “Not yet. I understand he’s a very good swimmer.”

Kale kicked and said ‘Go fuck your mother’, knowing the words wouldn’t come out right, but hoping the intent did. He felt a comforting pat on his thigh, which made him thrash a little more.

Then the world returned, offensively bright and blue. “No need for this, at least,” said a smiling Eka, a black-cloth bag in his hand. Wisely, he didn’t remove the gag.

The wind blew high and carried them West towards the small-island monastery. Most of the sea-traffic to and from Sri Kon flowed North or South, so only a few other boats came in sight, and these were small. Kale’s thoughts soon drowned in the feeling his bladder would explode, but after a very long hour the island appeared.

Bato. Island of Rock. It had little actual land, which became obvious even from a distance as the small mountains shimmered over the water. Moving closer he could see little in the way of beach, either. Except for a tiny patch of sand, all was sheer, stony cliff, dropping off into the sea like castle walls. The boat slid up onto the shore, and Eka removed Kale’s gag, then stretched down to untie his feet.

“Fuck you,” Kale said, the passion gone but not the principle, “now help me out before I wet myself.” He stretched out his jaw and licked his lips, and Eka smiled and obliged. He wouldn’t untie his hands, but he did help him escape the confines of his trousers to relieve himself politely. It took awhile. And it probably wasn’t smart, but since they were both standing there watching Kale’s genitals, he said it anyway, maybe with a little pride. “I could still make that swim, Eka. I can swim all day. They can’t keep me here.”

The ‘servant’ didn’t look concerned. He put Kale back in his pants and patted him on the shoulder, then led him up a path from the beach into the rocks in silence. It was a fair hike, but nice to stretch his legs after sitting in the cramped boat, so Kale behaved.

Just about the time he wondered exactly what Eka would say to the priests about a tied up prince, they crested the rocky entrance to look out over the rest of the island. It was a lake. A single, unbroken body of water, surrounded on all sides by small patches of sand, and volcanoes.

The sun peeked out of the clouds, and the still water sparkled like a mirror made of diamonds. In a vast, unbroken circle stood rising peaks connected by strips of hills that looked like giants holding hands, their breath rising up above them in white puffs. All seemed blue and green and gold, and a cool breeze from the sea behind washed over to ease the warmth of the sun. A deep breath came uncalled, the clean salty air a joy to breathe.

Eka watched him, smiling. “Lake Lancona,” he said. “The wind here can blow away evil, some say.” With that he looked towards the lake. “Young men who die for beauty are sometimes called lovers of the rock.”

Kale only nodded, unable to speak. It was the most beautiful place he’d ever seen, though he sobered slightly in spotting the monastery, which was built into the stony-beach near the water. He could see docks and men fishing on the banks, or in little boats paddling around the lake. The building itself looked to be all stone, with wide curving arches and angled roofs, flowing like a grey snake on the move along the bank. The colors were muted and bland, but seemed right. What could man make to match such beauty? To try would be arrogance.

By the time they’d made it down the cut-stone steps and along the path to the entrance of the monastery, Kale forgot he was here against his will, and that his hands were still bound behind him. He stared at huge, ancient palm trees filled with colorful birds sitting along their fronds, munching and chirping as grey-robed, bald men and boys wandered through a nearby orchard picking fruit.

They watched Kale and his jailers approach, but didn’t stare, nor did they look concerned or even interested. Everything looked immaculate and clean, from the perfectly-trimmed bushes and the dirtless path to the dust-free walls. Some kind of chanting could be heard inside, and Kale inwardly groaned.

Without a word to anyone Eka took him up a flight of stairs, down a hallway filled with doors, and stopped at one just like all the others. He unlocked it with a key and took off Kale’s bindings, then gestured politely for him to go inside.

For one mad, impulsive second, he considered trying to fight. He imagined himself overpowering Eka, bolting down the stairs and out of the monastery, diving into the water, and swimming all the way back to Lani. But the complete ease with which Eka held himself was not out of trust or ignorance—it was the absolute certainty that this had been considered, and was simply not possible. Kale walked in. He looked around the small room to see the smaller bed, the barred window, the chamber pot, and the blank stone walls, and Eka bowed formally.

“A monk will speak with you soon. You must obey this man in all things to leave here, my prince. He will be your guide, your mentor, and when he decides you may return to the city, only then will you be a man in the eyes of your father. If you try and return before this, you will see me again.” This was all said without malice, or threat, just plain statements of truth. Kale took a deep breath.

“Thank you, Eka. I apologize for before. I know you only do your duty.” He bowed correctly.

Eka returned it, and smiled. “Fear not, young Alaku. Though I do not suggest you rush, I think you will not be here long.” Then he closed the door, and Kale sat on the uncomfortable bed in silence, his eyes growing wet with the time to think, knowing in his heart that what he did made no difference, and that he would be here until Lani was gone.

* * *

Eventually, Kale slept, and when he woke a monk sat staring from the floor. He looked at least sixty, with a clean-shaven face and head, bushy white eyebrows and wrinkled skin. He wore a robe just like the others, sat comfortably, and watched Kale without expression. He said nothing. Kale rose to a sit, blinking away sleep as he tried to get his mind working.

“How long have you been sitting there?”

“A long time,” snapped the monk, features twisting with life as if he’d been woken, too. “You sleep too deep, and too much. And you’re rude.”

I’m rude?

“You could have woken me up.” Kale cleared his throat, a little taken aback.

“Yes, but then I would not have learned you sleep like a sick old woman. Now get up, and act like your family taught you manners.”

Kale clung desperately to Eka’s words. Obey him in all things to leave this place. He stood, touching the back of his hand to his forehead, and bowed. “What is your name, sir?”

The monk shook his head, looking like he’d just eaten something rotten. “My name is Lonakarak-samejunasita. You should have asked instead what I would like to be called.”

He spoke quickly, and Kale lost track of the name somewhere around the fourth syllable. To be especially polite, he should repeat it when he introduced himself, and was about to try when the monk interrupted.

“If I want to hear you fumble all over my name like at a woman’s underthings with your slow foreign tongue, I will ask. You will call me Master. Or Master Lo. You can manage that, at least?”

Kale considered saying, though inexperienced, he was pretty good at fumbling at women’s underthings, but he bowed again instead. ‘My name is…” he started, but again the monk interrupted.

“I know very well you who are, Prince. And instead of allowing an old man to die in peace, your father has asked me to teach you, as I taught your brothers, and as I taught him.”

Kale’s eyes widened at this, and the monk’s face looked even more disgusted, if that were possible. “Did you think Farahi sprung from the earth a king and a father? No, he was a stupid boy just like you, and I made him less stupid. It is the most I can hope for with any student, and with you I’m uncertain even of that. Do you wish to begin today?”

Sleep vanished entirely now, and Kale tried not to goggle at hearing someone call his father stupid. It was practically enough to make him like the man. “Yes,” he said simply, resigned, and the monk nodded his wrinkly, bald head.

“Fine. Why are you here?”

Well, this is a test, and I don’t want to take it. Kale tried to think of something clever.

“Because two men sailed me here on a boat and locked me in this room.”

Lo shook his head, closing his cloudy eyes. “You must be the stupidest boy I’ve ever met. I will certainly die of old age before you leave here. Your father is cruel, and life unjust. Why did the men bring you here?”

Kale managed not to blush, thinking all those months of being screamed at by navy officers for being terrible at everything had some use after all.

“Because my father ordered them to.”

Lo leaned forward, put his hands on the floor, and drooped his head.

“Why did your father order them to bring you here?”

Kale shrugged. “That is a question with many answers.”

“No it is not. Tell me why.”

“Because he sends all his sons here.”

“Why?”

“Because… it’s tradition for the king to do so.”

“Why, you stupid, stupid, boy?”

Kale had no idea. He wanted to say ‘because my great-great-great grandfather said so?’, but he was pretty sure he knew what the next question would be.

“I don’t know.”

The monk threw his hands up in the air and shouted in what appeared to be true, condescending joy.

“Praise all sacred things and holy men and loose women.” Then he snapped his head back down to look Kale in the eyes. “That is the first lesson. You do not even know why you are here. Tomorrow we will have another lesson. The next time I ask you a question, and you do not know the answer, you will say so immediately. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Kale said at once, and the monk nodded.

“Because you have shown you can be taught, today you will be given water. Tomorrow, perhaps, you will earn food.” With that the monk rose without grace, using his hands to prop himself up while he scooted his legs and bottom back, grunting loudly with the effort, then went to open the door.

“Master—what should I do until then?”

The old man turned back, his look of disgust renewed. “I don’t care.”

Kale heard the lock slam closed a few seconds later, then sat in silence save for the grumbling of his already empty stomach.

For a time he did not move, lost in hopelessness for what felt like hours. When he got tired of sitting he paced around the tiny cell. He exercised a little, pushing himself up with his hands from the floor, then lay flat on his back and pumped his legs. When he got too tired, hungry and thirsty for that, he lay down on the bed, wishing for the first time in his life he had tutors, or a stack of books.

As the light faded from the barred window, the only interruption in the tedium came from a young boy who brought water. Kale bowed and said hello, but the robed boy left a brass pot on the floor without a word, walked away, and re-locked the door. Kale considered muscling past him and running, but not only would it likely bring the boy shame, it would end in re-capture, sooner or later.

So, he drank the water. He waited. He used the chamber-pot. He waited. And his thoughts, despite some feeble resistance, eventually drifted to Lani. Her clothes had a habit of coming off in his mind since the night in the courtyard, and he imagined it again for the twentieth time, even though it was just last night. Her soft skin, her wetness. Those eyes as she took him in her mouth. He sighed and hardened, laughing when he thought about fighting the royal eel and about Thetma and his recruits.

Wanting to be an officer hadn’t just been an excuse to see Lani. He missed his friends. He really did want to go out into the real world with them—become soldiers with them. But that was gone, now, too, and Kale eventually found sleep, though he woke restlessly several times, thinking of nothing new or useful as the hours crawled by and light returned.

By morning his stomach roiled—he’d never gone more than half a day without food in his life, and this was already twice as long. He wasn’t sure if he felt like throwing up or eating the bed-sheets, but he was weak and tingly when he stood to use the chamber-pot again, though he was tired of the smell of his own urine. He counted rock bumps in the walls, then discolorations on the bed, and finally, finally, he heard someone at the door, and crinkled old Master Lo shuffled in with nose upturned.

“Well, at least you aren’t sleeping. Are you ready for your second lesson?”

“Yes.” Kale rose, his desire to earn food suddenly outweighing other concerns.

“It stinks in here. Let’s go outside.” The monk left as abruptly as he entered.

Kale followed down the hallway, down the stairs, and out through an open gateway to a small field of carefully trimmed grass. Here, the monk stopped and turned back to face him.

“What can you do?” he said.

Kale fought down the urge to say any number of smart-ass things of the sort his father advised against. ‘I can beat the life out of an old man with my fists,’ came on the top of the list. Or maybe ‘I can eat a very large breakfast’. But it seemed likely the monk wanted to know what sort of ‘useful skill’ he might have. Or it was just another stupid, seemingly meaningless test, probably impossible to pass.

“I can swim.”

“As can a dog.”

Silence stretched between them, and Kale wasn’t really sure what else he was supposed to say. Eventually Master Lo sighed.

“Very well, get in the water.” He pointed in the direction of the lake before walking ponderously towards it. Kale followed, and after a few seconds Master Lo said “Are you as slow as an old man, too?”

He hurried down the flattened-rock path that led through trees to docks and a small beach below, bowing his head as he passed. Again Kale felt overwhelmed at the beauty of the water and the reflection of the volcanoes. Steam rose from the lake to blend with a sheet of morning mist, fishermen-monks already on the water in straw hats, rods dangled lazily over the shallow hulls of their paddlers. As Kale got closer he stripped off his palace clothes and tossed them into a pile.

The air felt cool, but pleasant. A few monks here watched him with some curiosity, but he ignored them, taking some careful steps into the shallow water. It was warm, shockingly so, and Kale’s caution became a headlong plunge.

He regretted this immediately. He’d expected perhaps the saltyness of sea water, but as he came up for air, licking his lips felt like plunging his tongue into a bowl of salt. He squinted his burning eyes and wiped at his face in displeasure. But by any god you please, the warmth is wonderful. He lay back and tried to float, and found it easy.

“Is this what you call swimming?”

Kale lifted his head to see Master Lo gesturing towards the other side of the lake.

He shivered and thought of the navy test, but turned over and swam, changing his form a bit to try and keep his face out of water. The Lancona was small, and Kale wasn’t in a race, so he kept his strokes smooth and steady and felt little concern. After a few minutes, though, his strokes got harder. His usual supply of strength seemed drained, every effort to move forward more difficult than it should be. It’s the hunger, he realized, it matters more than I expected.

About half-way across he started to believe he wouldn’t make it, or if he did, he certainly wouldn’t make it back. It felt like he’d swum for miles against a hostile tide, every stroke an effort of will, the voice of despair in his mind promising just a short break to catch his breath. He knew this feeling of despair though as illusion, a trick of the mind wrought by comfort and strain. He kept swimming even though his limbs burned and each stroke of his arms, each deep breath, felt like the last. I have enough for one more, he’d think, and then again, and again, and soon enough he struck sand on the other side of the lake, the feeling little worse than when it started.

He noticed the fruit-trees here at once, spiny barbs sticking from bark and round seeds, few of which he could identify. It also occurred to him Master Lo couldn’t easily see him here, especially with his less-than-perfect eyes, and he smiled as Thetma’s advice rang in his ears again. Wise, as always, brother.

He went to climb one though and stopped, believing he’d begun to understand this test, then returned to the water with empty hands and an empty stomach, flipping over to back-stroke and use different muscles.

His second crossing proved as awful as the first, but Kale made it the same way he’d made it before, and dragged himself up onto the beach panting. His eyes burned from the salt, his limbs hung like rice noodles, and Master Lo sat on a rock and played in the sand with a stick.

“So,” said the monk, sounding bored, “what can you do?”

Kale stood slowly and bowed. “With a day’s rest, Master, but on an empty stomach, I can swim across Lake Lancona and back.”

He watched the man’s reaction and thought perhaps, if just for an instant, the corner of the old bugger’s mouth twitched, so he added, “Also, in the same condition, I can resist eating fruit.”

Master Lo didn’t look up.

“Good,” he said, then shrugged. “More than a wild dog, certainly, but no more than a trained one. Tomorrow we will see if you do better. Go to the kitchens and eat what you like.” He waved a hand, and one of the monks on the beach stood, bowed, and motioned for Kale to come forward.

The monk’s dark, callused hand extended a faded and frayed robe like all the others, and left it on a fallen trunk. Then he started up the path without waiting, and Kale donned it and followed, excitement growing with every step. His arms shook, his neck ached, and his eyes stung, but by the Enlightened he would have swum the lake again for a bowl of navy porridge.

Instead he found hot, sour soup with egg and vegetable, and all the rice he could eat. It wasn’t much when contrasted against palace-fare, but considerably better than nothing, and Kale put his navy-style gorging to good use—and burned his tongue. He cursed and sucked air as a couple of the boys in the kitchen watched and laughed, so he grunted and kicked a foot in their direction and sent them off giggling.

All the while his monk escort waited, and when Kale finished took him back to his now-clean room. He looked at the folded sheets and washed out chamber-pot, embarrassed. This was a simple place—surely the others would have to look after themselves. “I can clean my own room,” he said to the monk, “and empty my own pot.” But the man left without a word, and the door closed and locked.

For another day in paradise, Kale sat in his little stone jail. He’d always thought of himself as a patient person. But he could feel the edges of his patience like the frayed tips of rope that snap under too much weight, and he suspected someone who was actually patient wouldn’t feel like he was being patient.

He counted spots on the bars of his window. He exercised. He missed reading a book for the second time in his life, and he hoped tomorrow would be better.

24

The next day was worse. Master Lo made him drink water until he threw up; he made him arm-wrestle progressively stronger monks until his arm ached and he lost horribly, and then a few more times for good measure; he made him try to climb prickly coconut trees without his legs, then without his hands; forced him to throw rocks with his off-hand until his arm went numb, then sit still for hours outside in the sun until he burned.

The old monk never explained anything. He never commented, unless to say something vaguely insulting like ‘Most students pass that test the first time’, though Kale didn’t actually know what was being tested, or how he failed. Or even if he failed.

All the while Kale held his tongue, and obeyed. But by the time the sun fell more than half under the horizon, and he still hadn’t eaten, and Master Lo fed prunes to a monkey then told Kale to catch it with his bloody hands, he’d had enough.

“What is the point of this? What am I doing here?” He gripped his hair and launched off his rock to pace on the leaf-covered dirt of the tiny woods.

Master Lo looked around the patch of trees, then up towards the sky, as if waiting for an answer. He put a hand to his chest and raised his eyebrows.

Kale breathed slow and deep and tried to stay calm, and Master Lo snorted, putting his hands behind his back. “You should have asked sooner,” he said. “You’re here to prepare to learn The Way.”

Is that lesson number two, you old wrinkly testicle? Ask questions?

“And how will chasing a monkey help me to learn the words of the Enlightened? How will any of what I’ve been doing help?”

Master Lo shrugged as if he didn’t know, or he didn’t care, and Kale sunk to the ground, putting his face in his hands and despite himself muttering “I’ll never leave here in time.”

“In time for what?”

The old man’s ears seemed to work only when he chose. Kale considered lying, or ignoring him, but he was tired and what did it matter anyway.

“To see a girl before she leaves Sri Kon.” He hoped it didn’t make him sound ridiculous.

“Is the mystery girl’s name Lani?”

Kale froze. “Yes,” he took his hands away. “How did you know that?”

Lo shrugged and frowned as if the question were stupid. “She sent you a letter, and I read it.”

A great wave smashed the beach of Kale’s calm, but he held it back. “May I see the letter?”

Lo cocked his head as he aimed his cloudy eyes in Kale’s direction. His mostly toothless mouth spurted in a giggle, then he dissolved into dramatically loud, bird-disturbing laughter. When he finally returned to his senses he wiped at his watery eyes and shook his head while he sighed and breathed. “No, you may not.”

Kale closed his eyes. He listened to the wind, and the birds, and the monkey eating prunes. He felt the warmth of the sun through the gaps in the palm fronds, the robes on his skin, and the grains of sand in his leather sandals as he smelled the salt in the air.

“What must I do to see it?” he asked. The old man gestured towards the monkey.

“Catch him. With your hands, as I said, and I will give you the letter.”

Kale kept his breathing calm.

“As a boy I learned that the Enlightened teaches holy men not to lie. Is that true?”

“That is so,” said the monk, as if amused, and Kale nodded.

Then as fast as he could, he spun towards the little creature and dove, stretching out a hand to seize any part.

The monkey shrieked in surprise and leapt off its log, abandoning its stash of prunes to scramble over a few rocks and leap for the trees. Kale followed, half-crawling, debating reaching for a rock but thinking better. He pumped his legs as hard as he could, crunching painfully over twigs and stones in his haste.

But he was by-far too slow. The moment the agile climber touched bark it scrambled up before Kale could blink. There it sat on a high branch looking down, howling displeasure, eyes and mouth wide as it waved a claw. Kale went to climb the tree, and it whirled and jumped to another just as quick, just as easily.

“That’s impossible,” he said, louder than he’d planned, his anger finally catching up with him.

The old man shrugged. “Then so is seeing Lani’s letter.” He stood and walked back towards the Monastery without another word, whistling a happy tune as he looked up at the birds and poked the ground with his walking stick.

Kale slumped and cursed the man and pulled at his hair till the heat drained and filled with self-pity. He’d known all along he’d hate this place. He was so tired of tests and expectations and fighting, always clashing with the rules and the will of others. His aunt, his father, his brothers, the navy, now Lo. It never ends, and it’s always the same. He picked up a fallen twig and peeled the bark as his mind blanked. Then he froze.

He bloody showed me what to do. ‘Catch it with your hands’, he said, he god cursed showed me.

Kale realized all he’d needed to do was lure it with the prunes, and pick it up gently. Simple as that. But now it’s afraid. Now it won’t come close no matter what I offer and I’ve buggered myself. Unless…

He stood, making note of the black spots on the monkey’s face, and hoping he could pick them out later. He’d need a knife, and a plate, and he raced back to the monastery and the kitchen, then out again to the trees, realizing this was the first time he hadn’t been escorted back to his room.

First, he cut down a buffet of fruit. Mangoes were easy and seemed to grow everywhere here, then pineapple, oranges, and bananas. He laughed as he thought back on Lo’s forcing him to climb trees, scraping his hands and scuffing his legs and arms, then almost losing a finger opening hard shells, which he’d only ever seen servants do. He took coconuts too but realized with some embarrassment he didn’t know how to open them, then just sliced what he had and laid it on the plate. Then he wandered back to where he’d left the monkey.

He set the tray beside him on the log, very occasionally taking a bite, and waited. A few birds and ants investigated and he waved them off. Some of the fruit turned color while he did his best to stay still and appear non-threatening, and the light all but vanished. Then he heard the tell-tale shrieks. Before he’d even noticed, a monkey hopped on behind his log and snatched fruit off the plate, its long arm stretched like a child who knows he shouldn’t but can’t resist.

Kale moved slowly and hardly breathed. He reached out and ate some more fruit, which sent the creature dashing for cover, and he could still hear the warning shrieks in the trees and assumed this was his friend. Only the half-moon remained for light, but the new monkey returned and ate without harm, and the shrieks died down. Soon the first fellow came from his protection, greed and curiosity at last overcoming caution. The same as most men, Kale thought and smiled.

The monkey stalked the fruit like a hunting cat, pausing every few feet to stand still and watch. When the world didn’t end and Kale didn’t grow fangs, it joined its friend, snatching at the fruit and running off with a yelp, only to slink slowly back again. It looks like the right one, he decided, and his heart raced. He held onto the plate tightly, knowing the little thieves would take it all if they could. And slowly, piece by piece, moment by moment, they got closer.

When Kale finally moved the plate to his lap, the monkeys climbed him without hesitation. One leapt into his lap like a dog while the other stood on his shoulder, one hand on his head for balance as it reached down, and in the fuss Kale nearly forgot what he was there for. He smiled and stuck his hands out to play with them as they pulled at his hair and tugged at his clothes to see what might come loose. And of course, while he was distracted, they stole the plate.

Kale laughed as they whooped and sprinted away in triumph. He hoped his word that he’d had them in his hands would be enough, then walked back to the monastery with a lighter heart, doing his best to contain the excitement and anxiety of the letter.

* * *

Kale stumbled over steps in the unfamiliar dark. He found a group of monks smoking pipes and asked them where Master Lo was. When they all grinned and shrugged he decided they didn’t speak his language, or they were assholes. Or maybe I have monkey shit on my face, he thought.

Eventually he found Lo’s room on the main floor near a large open space for group chanting, then knocked as quietly and politely as possible. He waited and heard muttering inside. When the door opened he bowed and said “I caught the monkey,” without formalities, and Master Lo squinted in the gloom, harrumphed, then waved him in. The room wasn’t much larger than Kale’s, but a fireplace popped on one side, and he had a padded bed and chair, and a large shelf filled with books.

“How did you catch it?” Master Lo sunk into his pillows with effort, and Kale explained his fruit-plate, and his attempt to ensure it was the right animal. The old man remained expressionless throughout, but at the end said “Good enough. A deal is a deal.” He grunted and produced a small envelope from his robe. It looked sealed, and unmarked.

“I thought…how did you know this was from Lani? And I thought you read it?” Kale narrowed his eyes in confusion, but the old man shrugged.

“I lied,” he said, as if Kale was an idiot, then waved his hand in an increasingly-familiar dismissal.

Kale bowed and left the room without really caring, feet and heart ignoring the caution in his mind. Then he was on his bed, hands fumbling at the paper until he saw ink in Lani’s hand-writing. Breathe.

“Kale,” it began, “I hope when you’ve finished this letter you’ll still know I love you.” Not a great start. “Your father has announced my candle ceremony will take place in the next Matohi.” Less than three weeks away. “He and my father have invited a large group of ‘eligible bachelors’, and though I’d always believed I would one day be married into the Alaku family, it seems clear now I won’t be.”

What? She did?

“Instead I’ll be married off to whatever man my family thinks most useful. I’m writing to you because I wanted to say goodbye. To say that, even though I want to, I won’t run away with you. And I know that’s what you’d ask me to do. But that isn’t the life I want for my children, and despite everything, I am still a daughter of the Kapule, and I have a responsibility to my people. All I can tell you is that life is long, and all distances can be crossed.”

“Perhaps one day we will find a way to be together, if only for a little while, if only as friends, and only as vacations from our other lives. You’re the only thing I’ve ever chosen, Kale-che. The only thing that was not my duty. And I know you would have said goodbye, that your father must have sent you away before you could. I’ll miss you the rest of my life. I miss you now. The sweet boy you were, the good man you’re becoming. Please remember me, and write to me, so that I know you forgive me for not running away. Goodbye my love.”

Kale’s eyes dripped onto the page. He felt a dull weight in his chest, though everything else seemed numb. It wasn’t a surprise, he realized, but the vague intuition of its coming made it no less hard to bear. He read it again, and again, smelled the paper for any trace of vanilla and holding it to his face, and then he slept.

He woke up wet, Master Lo standing in front of his bed with a pail and a sour expression. “I was bored, and you smell,” he said, as if this explained everything.

Kale’s stomach growled in response, but navy life had dulled such petty torments, and he prepared to shrug and rise without reaction. Then he saw Lani’s letter, now drenched and curling, and he jumped out of bed to dry it on any patch of sheet that wasn’t equally soaked.

“Was that really necessary?” he snapped more loudly than he should, but Lo just looked confused.

“Of course not.” He shook his head, putting the pail down and his hands behind his back. “Today we’re going to move on to another kind of test.”

“Bugger your tests,” Kale muttered under his breath.

“Because of the letter?”

Kale swallowed and nearly cursed. How the hell did he hear that. Then he turned with a look that he hoped said ‘yes, obviously’, and also ‘none of your bloody business, you old prick’. But his mind reminded him about last night, so he added, with some sarcasm:

“I thought holy men didn’t lie. How did you know it was from Lani if you didn’t read it?”

Lo shrugged. “When one is far enough down the Central Path of the Way, one can read minds, among other mystical things.” After a brief staring contest: “Stupid boy. How do you think? The messenger told me, and then somehow I pieced your complex teenage story together whilst you were whining. And besides, who said I’m a holy man?”

Kale had no response to any of that, so he fussed over the ruined letter in silence.

“How long do you have, then, before she’s gone?” asked the monk with a sigh.

“Nineteen days.” Kale blew at the corners of his letter, and Master Lo scoffed.

“It takes boys much smarter than you two or three times that long to pass the tests.”

Yes, very helpful, thank you. Kale knew he was scowling and acting petulant and that somehow it was what the old man wanted. He looked and saw the toothless smile, and clenched his jaw.

“Do you know how long it took your father?”

The man looked so god damn smug. Kale tried to keep the interest out of his eyes.

“No, and who cares.”

Lo’s lips widened as if he’d just realized something tremendously amusing.

“Two weeks, from start to finish.”

Oh of course he did. And he probably summoned a demon to help. “I don’t believe you.”

Still the monk’s wrinkled face was curled grotesquely. “Why should I lie? And would you like to know how long it took your eldest brother, Tane? Three weeks.”

Kale tried to remember when Tane left for the monastery, but found it infuriatingly unmemorable. It was the same with all his brothers. They’d left, they’d come back. Could have been three weeks, could have been three months. They’d all come back the same boys, the events entirely unmarked by Kale.

“I tell you what,” said the monk. “I don’t want you here anymore than you want to be here. Do you believe that?” Kale certainly did, so he nodded, and the monk continued, “Then I’m going to tell you how these tests work—what you’re expected to do, what your father and brother did. And perhaps, despite your stupidity, with that advantage, you may just be able to make it back in time to…well, I assume fail miserably at wooing this girl. How does that sound?”

Kale felt like acknowledgment was defeat, but if it meant getting back to Lani before she left, he didn’t care. He nodded.

“Oh goody.” The monk rose from his bucket and paced. “There are three ‘spheres’ one must understand just to begin learning The Way of the Enlightened. The physical, the mental, and the spiritual. Understanding the physical is to understand specifics. And it is to understand limits. Catching the monkey was the final test of the physical. It was to teach you that not all problems can be solved by the physical sphere. Completing it demonstrated you are ready to begin the mental sphere.”

Oh. “So I’m already a third done?”

The monk closed his eyes and shook his head.

“You speak when you should listen. No. Your father completed his physical test in one day. This is your fourth day. It is the easiest portion of the tests.” Kale slumped, and the monk went on. “In each sphere, you must demonstrate your understanding of the previous while learning the new. The first two spheres are self-explanatory—acting, and thinking—but you might think of the spiritual sphere as the ‘feeling’ sphere, if you get confused.”

He stopped as if considering, then looked Kale in the eyes and raised his hands in some kind of meaningless, condescending gesture. “That means you have to eventually think and act and feel, all at the same time. It’s alright to be frightened.” He pat Kale on the shoulder without any intent to comfort.

Spitting in his face seemed like a legitimate option, but Kale grit his teeth to hold his tongue, and his saliva. “You said you’d tell me what my father and brother did to pass the tests so quickly.” He managed to say this with a semi-polite tone.

“Ah, so I did. Most boys see each test as a separate, perhaps meaningless task to be completed. But those who finish them quickly, like your father, understand the purpose of those tasks. That is what you must do, or you will never leave this place in time to be rejected by your Lani.”

Seconds dragged between them, but Kale stood and bowed. “I’m ready for the next test, Master.” The old monk smiled, probably to himself.

“Very well,” he said, “the next test is simple. You must solve a problem for a monk in this monastery, and you must solve a problem of your own at the same time, and you must do this without accomplishing anything. You will not be permitted to eat until it is done.”

With that, he turned and hobbled away, clearly not interested in questions, and Kale sat on his wet bed as his mind raced.

* * *

He spent the rest of the day in frustration. He couldn’t think of how to solve any of his own problems without actually accomplishing anything, let alone someone else’s, too. And what exactly were his ‘problems’? I’m stuck on an island. I’m hungry. I’m in love with a girl I can’t have. I’m away from all my friends. He sighed. I’m not like any of my brothers, and not valued or trusted by my father. I have no purpose, and I don’t really know what to do with my life.

He didn’t even know if these were the sorts of problems he was supposed to be dealing with. And how the hell did doing nothing solve any of them?

Eventually he realized dying of hunger would solve them, and that would solve Master Lo’s problem, too. It was literally the only thing he could think of that made sense, though he’d never heard of boys dying at the monastery, and he couldn’t see how being dead was a solution. Unless they save me near the end, or something.

But he was told to understand the tests. What was the point of starving himself? To learn that sometimes doing nothing was more effective than anything else? Great. To learn to give up? There could be any number of ‘lessons’ here.

And hunger might be too slow, he also realized. Even if they saved him it could take weeks to be at death’s feet. Unless I stop drinking water. Which seemed a rather grim but sensible prospect, if true. And since he hadn’t thought of anything else, he figured he’d hedge his bet and stopped drinking that afternoon.

He’d spent the day in his room thinking, but he left for a walk as the sun started to dip, just watching the monks and locals go about their days and evenings with the island’s beautiful backdrop. This on its own was relaxing—a luxury he had, and Kale now regularly applied Thetma’s ‘eat when you can eat’ advice to life in general. When you have a view? Look at it.

His stomach hurt, and his limbs felt weak, and though his head ached through his eyes, he smiled and bowed at anyone he passed, and they generally smiled and bowed back. He decided to dip his feet in the warm lake, and he found a young monk with the same idea, small brown toes dangling off a swaying fishing dock. Kale sat right beside him and grinned, eased off his sandals with a bit of a groan and dipped into the water. The warmth took over his aches at once, spreading up his shins and waist up into his spine, and he shivered in pleasure.

The boy was no more than twelve, very skinny but tall, with oddly pale, bad skin, and he looked away shyly. Kale almost asked his name, but then he remembered—“What shall I call you?”

After a quiet panic, the boy said “Ando, sir. What shall I call you?” His voice cracked once, and he fiddled with his hands.

I knew these bloody monks could understand me. “Call me Kale.” He bowed his head forward, a gesture the boy returned. “Do you mind if I sit with you, Ando? It’s a very good spot.” The boy smiled and shook his head, but looked immensely awkward.

“This is my fourth day,” Kale said, “and besides my master, you’re the first person I’ve really talked to.”

The boy nodded then giggled. “Master? Do you mean teacher? I think you’re using the wrong word.” Kale remembered the smoking monks’ amusement when he’d asked for ‘Master Lo’. Apparently the old man was playing a little joke. Six months ago he might have been embarrassed.

“My teacher is an asshole,” he said, laughing, and the boy’s hand went to his mouth in shock before he joined in. He had a nice laugh, Kale thought, but he was so shy he muffled it. He was curious about the boy—how long had he lived here? Why did he study to become a monk? But from his shyness he knew he wouldn’t want to talk about himself, and that it would be only for Kale’s curiosity and interest to ask, and not a kindness.

“Are you supposed to be talking to me? Are there any rules or anything like that to worry about?”

“No,” said Ando, “no rules, I mean.” But he didn’t look surprised at the question, shrugging as he said “The Bato…don’t like foreigners much.”

Kale nodded, sure it was true, though always amazed at how each group of islanders thought of all other islanders as ‘foreigners’, despite being so close in nearly every way. From geography to language, trade, ethnicity and religion, all the islands were intricately linked. All it takes to make men hate is a bit of sea, he thought, somewhat sadly. “Can I ask you something, and get you to explain it like I’m an idiot?” The boy blinked furiously but did something between a shrug and a nod. “What is the most important idea of The Way?”

Ando’s mouth opened and closed and he turned red. “It’s…well. That’s a good question. It’s…mindfulness,” he said at last, and seemed surprised himself. Kale wasn’t used to twelve year olds using words like ‘mindfulness’, but he kept his mouth shut and hoped Ando would go on.

“It’s being aware of yourself and others. Of knowing…or…trying to understand that all things are connected. It’s called the Central Path. The path to all things.” A fire grew in the boy’s eyes as he got going, but it faded now and he looked embarrassed again.

Kale turned his body and put his hands together, bowing as low as he could while sitting. “Thank you, Teacher,” he said, which turned the boy a brighter pink. “I’m serious, Ando. That was the most understandable thing any monk has ever said to me. You should be more confident.”

The boy nodded and bowed in thanks, still as scarlet as the sunset, cheeks even brighter because of his pale skin. Kale didn’t speak for awhile. He let the warmth of the sun and the lake ease his hunger, letting the breeze ‘blow away the evil’ in his heart. My father is just a man, and so was Seargent Kwal, and so is ‘Master’ Lo. And none of them will decide who I am.

He opened his eyes to find Ando looking at him, smiling.

“Has your teacher shown you how to meditate?” Kale shook his head, not really knowing what that was. “Close your eyes,” Ando said, “focus on your breath, but don’t try to control it. Just breathe, and feel yourself breathing.” Kale did as he was told. “Try to feel and hear everything around you, but don’t let any other thoughts come in, or if they do then acknowledge them and send them away. Focus on your breathing.”

A great rolling tide of ‘other thoughts’ poured in, acknowledged or otherwise, ranging from recent memories to year-long problems. But Kale tried to push them away and focus like he was told. He felt the air entering his nostrils and lungs, the movement of the dock beneath him, the smooth wood against his legs. He heard the sound of the breeze, some voices in the distance, the shrill staccato calls of the parrots, the gentle lapping of waves, and he could smell salt and mud.

He imagined a fire to try and focus his mind, and as the thoughts came he pushed them into it to burn. It took all his concentration just to do this and sense his breathing, and even then he failed over and over and over, though after a few minutes it got easier, and he felt his shoulders and limbs relax.

“Very good,” he heard Ando saying, “but don’t fall asleep. You want to be calm, yes, but you must be mindful and awake.” Kale felt so busy blocking his busy mind with fire he didn’t think sleep was likely, but he understood. He didn’t know how long he sat there feeling his breath, destroying his thoughts, sweat beading on his brow in frustration of failing just to control his own mind. When at last he opened his eyes the sun had nearly gone, and Ando still sat patiently, lids half-closed. He opened them entirely when Kale did.

“You did…very well for your first attempt.”

“I had a good teacher.” Kale smiled and they bowed together. He breathed and realized it was the first time in his life he understood the appeal of religion. The first time, if just for a little while, he felt a sense of peace since he could remember. But he’d become very tired. The thought of a bed and seclusion felt as natural and necessary as breathing. He rose to return to his room without feeling an urge to explain himself. “I should like to come back, if you’re willing to teach another lesson.”

The boy seemed unsurprised. He looked shyly away as if for escape, but said “Yes, of course, I’m…I can be here most every night.”

Kale bowed low. “Teacher,” he said in goodbye, without any trace of mockery, then worked at raising his sandals into steps instead of shuffles on the smooth stones towards his room. He felt Ando’s eyes on his back, but it didn’t bother him, and he walked with a light-heart. I must rest, yes, but not yet. He walked without hurry, but he didn’t go to his room.

25

Kale realized as he’d finished meditating that he’d passed the test. He knocked politely for the second time on Master, that is, Teacher Lo’s door, and it opened without fanfare. The monk stared for a few moments with his eyes squinted.

“What do you want?”

Kale bowed respectfully. “I have completed your test, Master.”

The man rolled his eyes and hobbled towards his cushions.

“Close the door, there’s dust.” His tone suggested he was about to hear rubbish.

Kale bowed. “I sat with a monk near the lake this evening, Master. We spoke, but what we said was not important. The problem of his loneliness was cured, and so was mine, and I accomplished nothing.”

Lo watched him and sat very still. After a while Kale thought he’d have to offer some proof, but he didn’t want to give Ando’s name—being questioned would embarrass the boy.

“Tell me,” Lo’s expression was neutral, “what did you learn?”

Somehow I knew you’d ask me that, and I’m ready you son of a bitch.

“I learned that suffering of the body is often suffering of the mind. It isn’t hunger that disturbs me, it is a head cluttered with useless thoughts. And loneliness. I know I will sleep well tonight.”

Again Lo paused, then shifted deeper into his cushions. “Very good.” He grinned, toothless red gums displayed in all their horror. “I may not spend my last day on this earth as your master after all. Now leave me alone and go eat, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yes, Master.” Kale bowed, pausing at the door. “Or is it Teacher?” He closed it without waiting for an answer.

Back in the hall he stuffed himself with fish and rice, fruit and beans, until his stomach threatened to give it all back. In his room he stretched on the bed then regretted it, shifting to sit against the wall as he tried to clear his mind again. He focused on his breathing. He left his eyes half-open as Ando had and tried to feel, hear, and smell everything in his room while he blocked his thoughts. It seemed easier here with less sounds and distractions, but being able to see made things difficult—his eyes took precedence over his other senses, even his mind, and he tried to imagine life as a blind man.

As he stared at length at the stone walls, they became as unimportant and true as his hunger, or the uncomfortable hardness of his cot. The invisible fire in his mind became as real as the things in his vision, and he burned his thoughts and settled into bed with a deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, though he’d done nothing. He smiled as he thought of the test.

I do understand, you mean old toothless prune, but why didn’t you just show me how to meditate in the first place?

He put that feeling, too, into his fire, and felt peace at once as it burned like kindling, and floated away as ash.

* * *

He heard the monk fumbling with the door in the morning, so he rose and waited.

“Oh.” Lo stopped with just his bald, spotted head in the door.

“Master.” Kale bowed in respect.

The old man cleared his throat. “Teacher is fine—now, follow me.”

Kale obeyed, managing not to smile, and the pair walked to a small, matted room on the upper level. A half-moon balcony looked out towards the lake, and characters Kale couldn’t read covered every scrap of space from floor to ceiling on every wall in dark, faded ink. A middle-aged monk sat with crossed legs in the center of the room. He bowed as they approached, which Kale returned, and even Master Lo nodded.

“This is Tamo. He will show you the forty-nine Ching—exercises of bone, muscle and tissue. When you’ve performed them to his satisfaction, we will speak again.”

Kale knew he should just keep his mouth shut, but he was confused. “I thought today’s tests would be mental, Teacher.”

Master Lo rolled his eyes. “Once you have attempted to remember all forty-nine Ching precisely, then you may decide what sort of test this is.”

Right. Stupid. “And I won’t eat until I do, I know.” Kale bowed. “Thank you, Teacher.” He refrained from sighing, and Lo walked off without a word.

Tamo instantly stood and held his limbs wide apart in some kind of dancing stance. The man was familiar somehow, but there was no time to consider as Kale turned his whole attention to following the man’s steps. He moved painfully slowly, almost carefully, as if he avoided broken glass. His arms waved or extended while his legs bent, and the only reason Kale knew one move had stopped and another began was when Tamo stood still. He would freeze completely and wait, and Kale would attempt to mimic the previous movement. Then Tamo would start again. And again. And when Kale had finally done it right, or perhaps Tamo gave up, they’d move to the next in silence.

This seemed to go on forever. Each ‘Ching’ was not a single pose or step, but a series which seemed to grow ever more complex. It felt sometimes like dancing, others like stretching or exercise, and regardless, Tamo moved as gracefully as a bird in flight. He seemed able to hold his legs bent at the knee indefinitely, no tremble in his muscles, no sweat on his brow.

In contrast, between hunger and the awkward movements, Kale’s whole body shook after what felt like all afternoon. He’d long lost count of the pauses, but decided they couldn’t have been more than half done.

Kale tried desperately to meditate while he moved. He tried to block out the exhaustion and stopped trying to remember the previous movements, focusing only on getting through the current. His mind told him ‘just one more’, ‘just one more’ as it did pulling an oar through the waves or splashing his arms in the sea. He allowed himself once or twice to think ungrateful thoughts about old Lo, but always turned it back to the Ching.

Sweat dripped off his face and his robes clung to his body like a second skin. Every movement now contained uncontrollable shaking, and the thought of sitting down became a sinful, luxurious dream. When he thought he’d collapse, no amount of ‘just one more’ lies left in his mind, seconds from the moment he meant to explain shamefully that he had to rest, Tamo stood, and bowed.

Then he motioned for Kale to move back against the wall, re-took the first pose, and pounced forward into what Kale recognized as the next two movements. Now, though, the monk-dancer didn’t stop. He swung around the room like a snake with legs, the shapes and poses becoming obvious thrusts and chops, and Kale decided if there was a spear or blade in Tamo’s hand, it would be as natural as a cat’s claws. He remembered to close his mouth, and swallow his spit. It was the most incredible thing he’d ever seen a human being do, and in only a few minutes, it was over.

He watched the dust rise from the floorboards, then bowed his head and held it low. When he rose at last, Tamo nodded and smiled, then left the room without a word. Kale’s exhausted mind searched for some method, some system to try and remember such a huge collection of things, and utterly gave up. It wasn’t a question of when he’d be able to do that properly, but if. And he knew he would have to be precise, and correct. It might take days. Weeks. Months. And to practice the Ching every day without food? Impossible.

But for the next three days, he tried. They gave him rice porridge in the mornings, and as much water as he wanted. Tamo never spoke, never twitched in frustration, nor did he ever show Kale what he did specifically wrong. He only ever repeated a movement in its entirety to signal Kale’s attempt wasn’t good enough, and they’d try again and again until Kale’s muscles began to know the next form before his mind caught up, until he found himself following his teacher before he knew exactly how.

Every evening he walked to the lake, his abused body and mind begging for sleep he had to deny for just a little while. And every evening Ando greeted him with a bow, and they began their lesson. The goal was always a sense of ‘presence’ and concentration. He had Kale choose a word (he picked ‘calm’) and repeat it again and again and again out loud. He had him focus on a flower to the exclusion of everything else, staring at it until it almost seemed to merge with the world around it and become something else. Eventually he had him ‘visualize’ a place in his mind, and Kale imagined a long, white-sand beach.

On his beach, a bright, full moon always lit the white sand at night. His brothers sat with him around a healthy fire that warmed their fronts as a strong breeze cooled their backs. Together they watched the wood burn, listening to the rolling waves and cracking of the wood, and when he had unwanted thoughts he threw them in the flames as if they were physical things.

On his third night, picturing that beach, he felt like he was floating—like he was separated from his body, or perhaps that his body was something different. He wasn’t afraid, exactly, but uncomfortable, like he was learning to swim again and knew the water, however shallow, could still drown him.

When he got too high and left his imaginary beach and returned, his body felt somehow…rested. Less hungry. He’d felt distinctly as if he were entering it, like a gust of air through a small window, and his muscles felt rested and less sore. He opened his eyes and found Ando’s smile—the smile of a loving brother. “I’m very pleased for you, my friend,” he said.

Kale felt the same satisfaction and peace he’d found meditating with his eyes open, but now confusion, too. He couldn’t explain it. He felt somehow more trapped, yet free. His palms sweat, his heart raced, and his chest and stomach felt like they were floating. “Are you nervous, or excited?” asked the young monk.

“I’m…not sure. Suddenly, I don’t know how they’re different.”

Ando’s smile widened.

“You have seen your Ojas. Your road to all things. Your road to The Way. It is right that you should be pleased, and also afraid. The same caution that returned you means you follow the path of the Nishad, Kale—in your tongue it means they who stay.”

Kale blinked and stared at his teacher, looking for some truth he felt eluded him. Many years of religious education mentioned nothing of this. Though, he supposed, I never really listened.

“Who are ‘they’? And stay where?”

The boy shrugged as if he didn’t know, and Kale sensed less than total honesty, but for now he asked no more.

Ando turned away, eyes downcast, and his smile faded. “I must tell you—this is your last lesson.”

Kale’s mood and shoulders slumped together. “Why? I have so many questions. I don’t understand what just happened.”

“There is nothing more I can teach you, Kale. Every path is different, and you must follow where yours leads alone.” Ando rose and bowed, slipping back into his sandals, and Kale did the same.

“Would you still like to meet here to speak in the evenings?” Kale tried to keep his voice from betraying his emotion.

“I will if I can,” said the little monk, somewhat carefully, Kale thought. He bowed one final time as to an equal and went to leave, then stopped, looking Kale in the eyes. “Faith is the desire for virtue. The pursuit is worthy of respect, if not the conclusions. Try not to judge those who have been led astray.”

Ando walked down the thin path of flat-rock that surrounded Lake Lancona—the opposite direction from the monastery.

Kale watched him and thought back to the shy boy he’d dipped his toes with and knew he was gone, or perhaps never existed. He accepted as truth his teacher was not what he seemed, though he had no explanation, and that their meeting was not entirely by accident. Whatever religion the young monk belonged to, though, whatever his story and whatever ‘Way’ he traveled—it was not the path of the Enlightened.

* * *

The sun rose and fell for three more days and nights in paradise. Twelve days left before Lani’s ceremony.

Every morning Kale ate his porridge, then practiced the Ching with Tamo. Every evening he walked out to find Ando and failed, then meditated alone.

He focused as he was taught—on an object, on his breath, or a word, sitting in darkness on the beach in his mind with his brothers, burning his thoughts of Lani, of his father, of the navy and Kwal’s death. Sometimes he floated away with the ashes.

It still felt dangerous, uncontrolled. He floundered in the night sky and felt as if he might ‘fall’ upwards, then he’d pull back and the dark canvass would disappear and he’d see memories of his own life. Once he saw himself playing with his aunt and saw the sadness in her eyes; he looked on himself as a child and saw a carefree boy who wanted only to make others smile and laugh—a boy who wanted, no, begged to be held in his father’s arms, but never was. He saw a beautiful woman that must have been his mother, but then she was dying in bed, and Kale pulled away.

On the third day he tried again on the dock he’d found Ando, and this time he idled somehow ‘above’ himself in the real world when the canvass vanished. He could see the monastery’s grey walls in the distance behind him, though his ‘body’ did not turn to look. He could still see the lake, too, as if he had two sets of eyes, or maybe two bodies. He ‘moved’ towards the monastery, yet didn’t move, and could see the monks cleaning fish, sitting in groups for evening prayer, or preparing their simple halls for supper.

He ‘drifted’ forward in through the gates and up the main stairs to the hall, though he still sat by the lake, too. He found Master Lo speaking to no one beside his room, or perhaps himself. Then he saw a shadow on the wall. The shadow rippled as if with liquid night, leashed by a thin golden chain that wrapped around Lo’s waist like a belt. Lo’s mouth didn’t move when he spoke, and Kale heard a second voice exactly the same, perhaps from the shadow. He couldn’t tell which was speaking when.

“…and I’m telling you he’s going to pass the tests.”

“I find that exceedingly unlikely. The walls will break him, as they do all the others. And even if he succeeded, he’s still a foreigner. Exactly how does one take the Vow of Purity when one is himself impure?”

“Your precious purity is as foolish now as it was a hundred years ago. There’s not one pureblood monk left. And maybe there never was.”

“Your blasphemous ways continue to boggle the mind. Be careful what you say.”

“Or what? You arrogant fool.”

“Quiet.”

Kale shivered as if cold. He felt the shadow look at him.

“We are being watched,” it said, or maybe Lo did, and Kale turned and rushed back towards his body, floating down the corridor and stairs and through a garden for the ‘open window’ of his mind. He gasped and opened his eyes, heart pounding as if he’d woken from a nightmare.

What in all the bloody hells just happened?

He knew, somehow, Lo and the ‘shadow’ hadn’t even spoken the common tongue of the isles, nor any dialect Kale had ever known, yet he understood every word. He focused on his breathing and tried to find calm, hoping the ‘shadow’ had disappeared, or wouldn’t recognize him.

If in fact that actually happened at all, because it seems more likely you just imagined it, or fell asleep and dreamed it.

Yet it seemed so real. He rose from his meditation spot by the lake, going back to his room and seeing the same things he’d seen as he ‘floated’—the same monks in prayer or laughing as they gut fish and bounced the eyes at their juniors. But it’s the same every night, of course it is, I could have imagined it just as well.

He closed his door and wrapped the thin cloth sheet around his shoulders and slept without dreams, for the next few days avoiding his white-sand beach and the feeling of floating away.

He practiced the Ching with Tamo—who Kale now realized looked a lot like Eka—his movements slowly getting faster, more precise, but never good enough. He lost what little fat his body had, hunger becoming a force of nature that swallowed him up and drowned him for hours until it passed. Meditation helped, though he remained careful, and for at least half of the daylight he felt healthy and energetic.

Only the deadline mattered, and it loomed. He couldn’t know how many tests were left, or what they’d involve, but he realized if they took as much time and effort as the Ching, he’d have no chance.

Still he rose from his bed every morning and spooned in rice porridge. He followed Tamo and failed until his body shook and he crumpled onto the worn, faded planks of the symbol room. Soon he had only nine days until Matohi. Then six. Then three. Every morning Tamo bowed and walked away, every afternoon Master Lo told him it wasn’t good enough, and every night he lay in bed knowing all hope had passed. But what could he do? Lie down and give up? Stay in bed until they fed him or left him alone?

Lani perhaps would not care how he failed her, nor his father or Master Lo. But for the rest of his life Kale would know what he’d done. Whenever things got hard in the future, when a task seemed impossible, he would know, and that thought would poison his whole life until cured. Lying tired and starving in his bed he accepted no matter what he did he might fail Lani now, and this was beyond his control. But he would not fail himself.

Three days became one—two more breakfasts of gooey rice, two more impossible days of the Ching, two more death-like sleeps. He stood before Tamo on the last morning, red-sun rising through the only window and lighting the fog like fire. He knew tomorrow Lani would be gone, that he had no doubt embarrassed the Alaku name again with his slowness compared to his father and brother, and that he had no hope of passing the other tests in time.

But by every cursed, man-buggering god, he promised, eyes blazing at the infuriating calmness of his teacher, I will pass this one.

He leapt forward for the final time that mattered, bent knees moving him around the room as he stepped from one Ching to the next, thrusting his arms, elbows, and feet violently and as gracefully as he could, hoping he looked at least like a pale shadow of the master, and not a fool. He didn’t shake anymore, despite eating nothing but rice for two weeks. He used not a scrap of energy more than required, making no movements except those exactly needed. It hardly took his conscious mind, now—and at full speed he had no time to think. He stepped and relied on muscle-memory alone to guide him, mind lost in the cycle, no idea which move was which number.

The warmth and sweat and creaking of the floor became as clear as his breathing, the moment separate and removed from his life, as if it was clear that this existed purely on its own and would never come again. He had no idea how badly he was passing or failing Tamo’s test, as he never really had, but it no longer mattered. He had risen every morning despite the pain, despite the hunger, despite the misery and hopelessness of failure, and not Tamo or Master Lo or his father or anyone could ever take that away.

When his feet finally stopped and the movements ended, his body went rigid in the stillness. He knew if what he’d done hadn’t been enough, then it never would be. He stood panting, otherwise frozen in the final movement, hands outstretched towards the balcony and the dawn. It seemed an eternity, though not an unpleasant one, until Tamo bowed. Kale returned it.

He looked out towards the lake and the illusory motes seeming to sparkle over the water. He etched the moment in his mind, leaving out nothing—the moisture on his thighs and armpits, lip and brow, the warmth and strength in his limbs and lungs. I will never be this young again, he thought, I will never have another first love or be healthier than now.

If he died tomorrow, he had at least lived and loved, and he had danced the Ching with Master Tamo. He turned back to the doorway and thought perhaps he’d walk in the fresh air before he faced Master Lo, but the monk waited in the doorway.

“Very good,” he said as he entered, voice neutral. “Are you ready for your final test?”

Kale felt the moisture already drained from his body, the fast beating of his heart, his body near its limits of exhaustion. But he said “Yes,” knowing it was the only answer—hearing the word ‘final’ and hoping beyond hope, perhaps, there was still a chance.

“The symbols on the walls. I assume you’ve noticed them?”

“Yes, Teacher.”

They literally covered every inch of the room’s sides, and numbered in the thousands.

“Good. Your final test is to go into the room beside us, take the chalk from the stand, and draw the symbols as they are here, in the exact same place and order, but in reverse. Draw all of them. Take a last look around, and then go.”

* * *

Kale couldn’t quite comprehend what he’d heard. A few weeks before he’d thought the Ching impossible, and they very nearly were. But this?

The strange symbols covered every inch of space, and he had no idea what any of them meant. He wanted to say ‘ridiculous, no one could do such a thing’, but knew there was no point. He didn’t bother looking around. He just walked out the door to the next room and felt his sweaty feet slap the stone of the hall.

The next room had the same red-tile walls, the same floorboards, except these tiles were blank, and a wooden stand lay in the center covered in pieces of chalk, just as Lo said. Of course, this was impossible. Kale’s father and brothers had either never done it, or they had ‘help’. It must be some trick, he thought, or this test is designed specifically to keep me here.

It occurred to him now his entire ‘training’ could have been some elaborate ruse—a series of made-up, meaningless games to keep Kale busy so he wouldn’t make trouble for his father while he shipped Lani away.

Such petty cruelness seemed beneath the man when simple chains would do, but it was possible. Kale thought of Seargent Kwal’s team of misfits, his transfers, his needless cruelty, and the idea that his father and Lo might be playing such games filled him with a rage he couldn’t begin to comprehend.

Well go and look for Kwal now, ‘Master’. Where the hell is Kwal now?

The idea that men would play with young men’s lives closed his hands to fists. That they might deceive in a holy place, perverting what should have been a spiritual journey into some kind of twisted prison…

He breathed and felt the springy hardness of the floorboards. If life is always to be filled with the petty workings of small men with power, he thought, then so be it. I will always cheat.

He picked up a piece of chalk and walked to the eastern wall, half-closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing. Blocking his swirling thoughts proved hard, but he went straight to his beach and stoked the fire, waiting as the calm darkness in his mind overpowered the morning light. He let himself float away on the hot air of the fire, reaching as high as he could, no longer concerned with caution. You might have only dreamed leaving your body, he reminded himself. But it made no difference now.

With the protests of the impossible still fresh on his mind, he was suddenly out, and floating. He looked back at himself standing with chalk in hand, and then he ‘walked’ straight through the wall, almost crying out in triumph on the other side. He moved to the corresponding wall his ‘body’ stood before and traced the first symbol with his non-existent finger, noting the strange slashes on the curves. His body, though, didn’t move. He could ‘feel’ it still attached but had no control, like a sleeping limb cut off from blood. He fought for calm as panic threatened. Move, damn you, how do I move it?

He focused on the feeling of his hands, tracing the symbol again and pretending there was chalk. Nothing. He realized he could go back and forth from body to ‘floating’, but it took time and effort, and somehow he understood the ‘window’ would eventually shut or wear down—that whatever he was doing to ‘separate’ used a muscle with limits like anything else, and if he strained too hard he would simply drown. He could never go back and forth enough to finish the room.

As he stood still debating, he heard Master Lo’s voice, condescending as ever—is it my body’s ears that hears him, he wondered, or is it the me in this room?

The sound was strange—echoed.

“Why you do it matters, Kale. Why do you want to see your Lani again?”

Go to hell you mean old bastard, he thought, but couldn’t remove the seed once planted. Why did he want to see Lani again? Because he loved her and he missed her, that seemed clear enough, and because it was his last chance. And…and so what? What would he say? What would change?

Absolutely nothing.

She still had to marry whoever her family told her to. She still had to leave the life she knew behind—again—to go back to a father that sent her away like she was nothing. She had to leave people who loved her, here in Sri Kon—people everyone else in her new life across the sea would tell her were her enemies—people she would have to hide her love from or be called a traitor.

Kale felt shame, then, like he had in the barracks when the other boys couldn’t read. He could maybe still choose his first wife, possibly from anywhere in the isles as father had promised. He could choose concubines, or more wives. He could ignore his wives and live however he chose, at least to some degree. But Lani couldn’t.

She would be expected to bear her husband’s children—to desire nothing more in the world than to raise them ‘properly’, according to her husband and his family. He remembered her letter—maybe we can still see each other, a vacation from our lives. She expected the worst. She expected to be married off to some old, calculating lord that bought and paid for her. She expected her youth to be the happiest time of her life, now over. Oh Lani, I’m such a fool.

Write to me, she’d said, so I know you forgive me for not running away. He felt his body’s eyes welling with tears, but no longer for himself. Forgive you, Lani? Forgive you for being so strong? For doing your duty? I’m a selfish, ignorant child.

But he knew then, more than ever, he must still go back—if just for her. He would swim if he had to. He would tell her that he loved her, and that he always would, because she was strong and wise and kind. He’d tell her that he would write for the rest of his life, if she wanted, or not at all, if she didn’t, and that he would sail across the sea and take her wherever she wanted, whenever she asked, if one day she did, if just for a little while. He would tell her he was her servant for the rest of his days.

Calm returned at once. Sadness still, for her fate, but peace because he knew his purpose. Why do I want to see her, you toothless, heartless, old insect? To comfort her, so that she always knows she is loved.

Kale felt his body move.

It traced the symbols as he did, urgently, as if it had been waiting in frustration. The chalk matched the path of his finger perfectly, and somehow he could ‘see’ the symbols being drawn, and the symbols before him, again as if he had two sets of eyes.

He heard a gasp from somewhere in the room but ignored it. This would take some time and he had to focus. He traced as fast as he could, his body moving obediently along and following exactly, once having to stop and go back for more chalk, scooping several pieces and scurrying back as if in muscle-memory, just as it had danced the Ching.

By the time he was half finished he felt the ‘window’ narrowing between his body and his ‘mind’, or ‘spirit’, or whatever the hell it was, and knew time left him swiftly. He felt the strength pouring out of his body, the wild thrashing of his heart.

Now he traced with his other hand, too, though it was hard and he feared making a mistake. He passed from East to South, West to North, straight from one side of the walls to the next, then passed back the other way in a crouch to do the bottom. He lost all sense of the day, burning all thought, perception, and the suffering of his body, blocking away everything except his task.

Even then, it wasn’t enough.

But I’m so close, so infuriatingly close.

Slow and steady he felt the window closing and wondered what would happen if it did. They who stay, Ando had said, the Nishad in Bato’s tongue. Would being trapped make him they who go? Go where? And was it just some other path of the ‘Way’? Just different, but no worse?

All he knew is it made him afraid—like swallowing too much water too fast. A man can die in a puddle, he thought, if he lingers too long.

He’d made it to the final corner of the room as the seal was shutting. He glanced at the last several symbols, knowing somehow he had no time, and then he ran. He leapt through the wall and reached for his body like a piece of driftwood in the sea, and ‘squeezed’ himself through the tiny space left in the window, feeling it snap shut like a vice that nearly cut him in two.

Then his body was his, again, just as before, and he crumpled to the dusty wooden floor. His vision swam, blurring with every pulse of his heart as pain washed over him in waves. His mouth was bone-dry and tasted like blood, his fingers numb and oozing around the nails. He held the last several symbols in his mind as best he could, focusing on them like the flowers Ando made him practice with. His hands moved blind and unsure, but he understood as with the Ching, that if this wasn’t good enough, he could do no more.

He slumped against the wall and released the breath he felt he’d held for hours, looking around at the thousands of chalk symbols. It felt very strange—as if it weren’t truly Kale who drew them. And yet, I did, he thought, marveling at the white lines etched on dusty red. It was finished.

Master Lo hadn’t moved from the doorway, and his eyes roamed about the room. He blinked again and again, as if in disbelief.

That’s right you son of a bitch, I tricked you and I passed your impossible test. Believe it.

The blinking slowed, and the old man wiped at moisture on the edge of his cloudy eyes.

“I was right,” he said, almost in a whisper.

Considering every previous word out of his mouth was a lesson in derision, Kale couldn’t really see what he’d been ‘right’ about. Unless I actually failed, he realized, in an awful moment of doubt, and he’s readying high drama to mock me.

“Go to the kitchens and eat whatever you like. Get some rest—tomorrow morning we will speak again.”

Kale still felt unsure, but decided this was a good sign. “So I’m done?” It came out hoarse, and he cleared his throat. “Tomorrow I can go home, as you promised?”

The monk nodded, eyes still reading the symbols on the walls. “Yes, tomorrow you can go home. You’ve done very well, Kale. Very well.”

For the first time the old monk looked at him, and bowed properly.

Kale goggled, but stood with a groan and managed to return it. “Thank you, Teacher,” he said, with genuine emotion, but only because he thought of Ando and was thanking him. Then he went to the kitchens, took a plate full of food, and stumbled back to his room, where he instantly passed out without eating.

26

Kale woke several times in the night to try the food, feeling progressively unwell, thinking it a great and tragic irony that a starving man should feel poisoned by salvation. When he woke for the last time he remembered dreams of dancing the Ching, and then drowning in a pool of water while his father watched from behind a window. He was drenched in sweat and trembling, but somehow, he kept the rice down.

Master Lo entered promptly with the sun. He said the boat was ready whenever Kale was, though he suggested a little more rest. ‘You’re free to go whenever you choose’ he said with a shrug, and Kale thanked him.

His whole body ached from the tests, and he wanted to try and find Ando one last time, so he took the old man’s advice and stayed in bed, then gorged himself on a breakfast of rice and charred fish. Lani’s ceremony wouldn’t be until the evening, he knew, and the journey back to Sri Kon would be swift.

As he walked along the banks of the Lancona trying to understand the last few weeks, his mind filled with questions without answers. Ando did not appear, of course. Kale smiled at the bird shrills and monkey shrieks from treetops, and bowed to the monks he passed. This island isn’t going anywhere, he told himself. I can always return.

Despite now living in a world where men could ‘walk’ out of their bodies and through walls, he had more pressing problems. He looked out one last time across the blue-grey waters of paradise, then along the outline of the peaks beyond, then made his way back to Master Lo, the boat, and his home.

“There is much yet to discuss, Prince Ratama,” said the old monk as Kale climbed into the four-man outrigger, Eka and the captain waiting.

Kale felt a harsh retort on his lips but kept it inside. He wanted to say ‘I learned nothing from you, only from the boy.’ But instead he smiled politely, and if he was honest this wasn’t entirely true. “I thank you, Teacher. For your wisdom. I will return soon, you have my word.”

The old man rewarded Kale with his nightmare-inducing grin, apparently mollified.

And I’ll find Ando, and unravel his secrets, he didn’t add, and I’ll sort out your monastery next.

He waved pleasantly as they pulled away from shore.

“There’ll be a storm tonight,” said the captain with what Kale now recognized as a Batonian accent. Dark clouds spread from one end of the heavens to the next, though Kale hardly noticed all morning. Ordinarily he might mock Rangi, god of the sky, and suggest some ludicrous ritual to appease him in jest. But today he felt no such impulse, only disappointed that the wind blew high and in the right direction. He’d felt like rowing.

His stomach rumbled despite the large breakfast, and Eka handed him a leather pack filled with dried meat.

“I said you wouldn’t be there long, my Prince.”

Kale grinned as he chewed. He watched waves smack against the boat’s hull, and he had a strange feeling, like great forces in the world swirled around him, and next to them he was powerless and meaningless, yet as he moved closer and closer to his home, felt his own actions meant everything. The contradiction would have troubled him before, but now he put the thought away to ponder later, when he had more time to think and meditate.

He’d never been sure if gods or spirits existed, re-birth and heaven and hell, witches, shamans and sorcerers. He did not know if truths about life and death existed, or if they were known now or ever by men, or could yet be learned. Nishad. They who stay.

Stay where he wondered for the hundredth time since that first day with Ando. He would need time to process the enormity of his experience on Bato. But he knew now, if nothing else, that leaving his body could not have been a dream. In his heart he knew he had a ‘spirit’ that could wander; that this spirit could walk through walls, that it was invisible to the eyes of men, and could understand their speech. He knew there was a ‘shadow’ or ‘shadows’ in the world that could see it, though he did not know what these shadows were.

He felt Eka’s eyes searching him, and the pounding of his heart.

“Your father will want to see you immediately.”

Kale nodded at the ‘servant’ and tried to look at ease. You’re another question I haven’t answered, he thought, but there’s plenty of time.

“Don’t worry.” Eka put his hand on Kale’s shoulder in comfort. “It will be much easier than the last time.”

Kale nodded politely and looked away, unsure. He peered down at the murky waves and tried to imagine the vastness of the sea, feeling somehow even this great thing, when weighed against the endless truth of the world, was nothing. But it could still drown and swallow this boat, he thought, watching the horizon, just as Father can drown and swallow me.

* * *

Dark clouds and wind became a swirling maelstrom of rain. Rangi demonstrated his contempt for man’s business by smothering Sri Kon in a thick cloud of lightning-filled terror, sending even the Batonian navigator into muttered prayer before they saw coastline. If the sky god really exists, Kale decided, huddled against Eka at the bottom of the shallow hull, someone has pissed him off.

They bounced and crashed into or over waves, the sharp, narrow design sometimes slicing through the crest, other times lifting so high Kale thought they’d flip. The captain narrowed their sail and swung the mast to and fro, crawling across the ship like a spider. The wind seemed to change directions on a whim, and soon Kale got his wish to row.

By the time they hit sand his arms trembled with fatigue, and fear. He leapt onto the beach and kissed the damp, white grains, then raced up towards the palace with Eka in tow. Already Kale saw the livelihoods of fishermen and coastal sailors smashing and flailing in the storm, and he covered his face with his hands to keep out dust and debris.

Eka led confidently through the palace and left him while he checked with the king, returning to say Farahi ‘prepared for disaster’, and that their meeting could wait. Then he bowed and disappeared, and Kale stood in an empty marble hallway he didn’t even recognize.

If ‘disaster’ meant a great wave, it would not be the first in Kale’s life-time. And certainly not the last.

All were horrific. Coastal villages became ruins of sand and broken trees; boats, docks, breakwaters and warehousing ripped from their berths and scattered in the sea; and people drowned, people always drowned, especially fishermen, who would say ‘it’s just another storm’ while the others fled, and then the waters they knew and loved would consume them.

Rangi, the common wisdom went, was still enraged for being taken from his wife Haumia, goddess of the earth, by the lesser gods. The temple of course never taught such things, but the monks of the Enlightened were conspicuously silent in such times.

What can men who worship peace do or say in the face of such indiscriminate death?

Sri Kon’s palace was divided roughly into four ‘wings’, or squares, and Kale left what he thought was the Southern—without the sun it was hard to tell. Rooms were always being re-furnished and re-decorated, the king’s halls adjusted, servant’s bedrooms swapped, even the gardens re-planted and moved. Farahi’s paranoia annoyed him at the best of times, but Kale was wet and tired, sort of lost and in a hurry, and every squishy step wore at his nerves.

He kept to the open halls on the edge of the outer courtyard—the halls here were without outer walls and had a clear view of the square—which helped him get his bearings. The rain blew and puddled as it swept over the tiled paths. Streams ran down gutters, and flowers laid out on balconies flew off and dotted the grass like fallen leaves.

The palace itself was safe so far from the sea. There would be great gouts of rain to turn the world to mud, and the winds would strip shingles from rooftops, but in the morning its stone walls would remain. People here would spend a few weeks buying or selling divine trinkets, sacrificing small animals—anything to trick and appease the gods to leaving well enough alone. But this would fade. The dead would be buried, and all would re-build as if nothing ever happened.

Kale entered an archway on the edge of the square, dashed through an empty hall, and came out again in the rain. The inner courtyard looked precisely the same as the outer square. Tiled, colored roofs, halls with no outer barrier, carefully managed gardens. He watched the palm trees sway and the neat rows of shrubs as they bent nearly to the soil. When the storm finished the gardeners would go out without complaint and sweep the dead foliage away, erasing all trace of the violence. They would re-plant and joke and perhaps change the color of the roses, saying it was about time anyway.

The thought made Kale smile. Islanders acted the same for earthquakes, whirlwinds—even plagues. The Pyu believed whole-heartedly that every powerful being in the heavens was out to destroy them. It was indulgent, perhaps, even arrogant, but it made them a resilient folk.

My kin, my people, he thought, and felt a surge of pride for that strength to withstand. His countrymen’s superstition annoyed him, yes, and their inconstancy, and their carelessness. But let no man say they can’t endure.

This toughness was the reason he knew Lani’s ‘debut’ would not be canceled, not even for the end of the world.

The many bachelors, royal hangers-on, chaperones, and escorts would drink and dance throughout the night while the coast of Sri Kon drowned. They would watch and cheer the lightning, tittering when anyone jumped or flinched, and the band would treat the thunder like a drum. Kale didn’t have time to consider his distaste.

With relief he finally found the heart of the palace—which was more like a decorated fort—and took the stairs to his current room two at a time, thankful that everyone was already down at the ceremony, and that he was alone. He stripped his wet clothes and picked out his uniform, which he noticed had been cleaned, and now included a small pin to mark him ‘Head of the Bay’. He buttoned and clasped and straightened without thought as he looked in the mirror.

Shit.

His hair and face were disgusting. He looked dirty, wind-blown, unshaven and tired. And, now he noticed, he sort of stunk.

Off came the clothes. With some embarrassment he realized he’d never before drawn his own bath, cut his own hair, and hardly ever shaved himself.

My brothers would have had to get ready, right?

He left his room half-naked and made his way to Tane’s. He snuck along the wall, opened the door, bolted inside and made for the washing room, and sure enough—a mostly filled bath, and everything else he needed, strewn across a soapy silver tray, as yet uncleaned by busy servants.

He shivered in the cold tub and scrubbed a bar of scented soap over his skin, then picked and sponged at his teeth with rocksalt and water before chewing mint. Finally, he scraped Tane’s used razor over his face and turned from side to side to inspect. A little blood, but not bad.

Men’s fashion was simple enough. Kale combed his hair back and tied it, then slunk back to his room and put his uniform on. He didn’t look particularly modern, perhaps—these days noblemen combed their hair forwards and parted it to the side or locked it in place with grease. Their clothes were getting closer and closer to dresses, too, but a prince was allowed to be ‘traditional’. He clicked to the main floor on hard-leather shoes, cringing slightly at the echo in otherwise empty halls.

There was only one hall big and close enough to the current royal wing to host Lani’s Candle Ceremony, and as he approached and tried to think what exactly he’d say, even over the thunder he heard laughter and music from the courtroom. Servants smiled and waited at the entrance, so Kale gave up his stealth, smiling back pleasantly as he tried to look casual. They opened the doors with a nod, no hint of concern.

Well, at least I haven’t been officially banned, he thought, and as he was about to creep to the side of the room and do some spying, the footman at the door bellowed out as loud as you please, “Prince Ratama Alaku, fourth son of the King,” in announcement.

Some of the near-by guests bowed or curtsied, and Kale waved and bowed in return, thanking whatever good fortune kept him from leaping back in surprise and panic. Since the subtle approach was out, he scanned the room in full-view as he plucked a drink from a serving table, trying to look confident. He saw none of his brothers, and with some relief and jealousy realized they would all be with father.

“Prince Ratama!” A familiar, female voice. Kale turned to see Lani’s friend Meli curtsying expertly.

“Meli, nice to see you.” She wore a plain, conservative greyish dress, as did all the women Kale could see.

“We didn’t think you’d be able to make it tonight.” She crinkled her decidedly girlish face with an air of knowing mischief.

“Neither did I. I guess the monks had enough of me.”

Meli’s grin shone like polished wax. “Well, their loss.” She looked meaningfully towards the dance floor.

“Oh,” Kale mumbled, “would you like to dance?”

She bat her eyes. “I would love to, my prince!” Then she struck some magical pose between eagerness and deference, and as fake as Kale knew it was, it still felt inviting.

They stepped out onto the floor together with a dozen other couples. The musicians kept it livelier than usual, and before perhaps the movement might have intimidated Kale, but somehow after the Ching it didn’t seem much of an ordeal. Thunder interrupted often, and as he’d expected, was snickered at, toasted, or ignored. As the pace slowed and the couples moved into closer, more intimate stances, Meli whispered “Your aunt is Lani’s chaperone for the evening—have you seen her yet?” She subtly jerked her eyes towards the far side of the hall.

Kale couldn’t really see through all the people and shook his head. Meli whispered again at the next opportunity. “She’ll be stuck at her table now. But of course, she’ll need to...use a privy, eventually, and they’re all outside the hall.” Kale raised an eyebrow. “If one were to make their way back towards the royal wing, one might happen to meet her on the return, if one were so inclined.” She smiled sweetly.

“The servant’s quarters,” Kale said, and Meli looked confused. “They will be empty tonight, it would be closer and…less of a wait for the princess, I should think. She would have more privacy.”

Meli’s eyes went up and down Kale dramatically, as if she were seeing him in some new way. “Why, yes, my prince. I do believe you’re right.”

They finished the dance and bowed, and Kale snatched a bottle of wine before sneaking along the wall. He found the servant’s hall abandoned—they were all either working at the party, hiding at home from the storm with their families, or attending the king and his council. Kale winced again at the loud clicking of his shoes in the empty corridor, but did his best to sneak towards the servant’s quarters.

None of the doors were locked, so Kale slipped into the nearest and waited. He realized his hands were sweaty, his throat dry, and he’d forgotten glasses so he drank straight from the wine bottle. What’s the plan, exactly? There was no plan.

Telling Lani all sorts of lovely, comforting things was all very well in theory, and quite easy from the comfort of his barred and locked cell in the monastery, but now that he’d come to it, his thoughts seemed scrambled. For the love of everything holy, you danced Tamo’s Ching, you can walk through walls with your mind, I think you can do this.

He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. He heard the distant thunder first, so frequent now there seemed no break; he heard the rain hitting the courtyard outside through the windows like a huge crowd applauding, then had to burn the memory of Sulu Bay as it crept to the surface. He smelled the wet brick and grass in waves with the wind and thought how wonderful it was to smell and feel the storm from the safety of the palace—how wonderful just to be alive. Then he caught the hint of vanilla, and rum.

When he opened his eyes, Lani stood there with her shoes in her hands, her dress vastly more revealing and extravagant than the others. She had tears in her eyes, but she smiled and came forward, and Kale stood with his arms open, leaving the wine bottle on the floor near the servant’s bed. He wrapped himself around her and put his chin on top of her head, and squeezed her tightly against him while he breathed in her scent.

“You’re here,” she whispered, and he smiled, though she couldn’t see it.

“I’m not going to let a few old men and a bit of water stop me, am I?” He felt her shake with laughter, or perhaps a sob, and she clung to him even tighter, her voice anxious. “Did you get my letter?”

He understood her fear at once. If he hadn’t read it, she would have to tell him now, and she didn’t know how he’d react.

“Yes,” he said, and though he thought it would be easier if he didn’t look at her, he pulled her back to look in her eyes. She was about to speak, but he shook his head, trying to find the words. “I don’t…I don’t have much purpose in this world, Lani, but…you’re part of it, for the rest of my life. You’re not alone, you’ll never be alone. Even if you’re across the sea, even if I never see you again. I love you. And I’ll come to you, whenever you ask, however you ask. I don’t want anything from you that you can’t give. That’s…that’s all I wanted to say.”

She stared at him and the storm went away. Then she was crying and back in his arms, they were kissing and falling onto the bed. He could hardly see her except in the constant flashes of lightning, and without it nothing existed except her face in the darkness.

Time seemed frozen as Lani wriggled out from her elaborate gown, unbuttoning and unclasping him, and it all felt like a dream. White light showed her again and again in increasing states of undress on top of him. First her bare shoulders; then her small, round breasts; her smooth, flat stomach. Her tongue was in his mouth, her hands all over his body.

“I want you,” she said, and in a faraway place he remembered that wasn’t allowed. His hands pulled the gown down and away, trailing their fingers down her naked back to cup her from behind, and pull her down against his skin.

“Your…wedding night,” he managed. She held his face in her hands and looked into his eyes.

“Most virgins…don’t bleed,” she managed between ragged breaths, then plunged her tongue in his mouth again before coming back to say, somewhat sadly Kale thought, “You can’t finish inside of me, that’s the only rule. Can you manage that?”

A small, tiny, insignificant part of Kale’s mind whispered ‘we probably shouldn’t risk it,’ but his lips said “Yes,” and Lani stripped his pants down to his ankles. She took him in her mouth, and he saw her hand between her legs as another series of flashes lit the room. He focused on his breathing, lay his head back against the bed, and then she was scooting forward, her breasts and hips sliding up his body.

He felt the urge to flip her over and take control—something aggressive and deep, but she held him with her knees and leaned forward so their faces nearly touched, then used a hand to guide the hard length of him to meet her. He felt the warmth first, like dipping his feet into the Lancona before plunging beyond. She gasped and kissed him, moving back and forth, side to side.

Kale loved Rangi in that moment. The god’s anger lit the night sky as Lani pulled away, the curves of her body silhouetted in white light as she rose and dropped again and again, her hair and breasts rising and falling with her breaths, her moans increasing in a natural rhythm that nearly made Kale break her rule.

It couldn’t last long enough; it lasted forever. He held her as she writhed—her thighs, her breasts, her hips. He clawed, he slapped, he squeezed, and then she was shaking, and he felt her gripping him inside. “Lani…” he said, but far too late. He focused on his breathing, bailing a fast-sinking ship as she shook and cried out again, and he let go, and broke her rule, and she didn’t seem to care.

She collapsed on top of him, still twitching and making little moans that made him do the same. He had no words, though he felt he should apologize. “You broke the rule,” she said, and he managed only a “Yes.” Her lips met his again, their tongues intertwining in a way that sent a shiver up his spine. He was still inside her, and he had no desire at all to move.

They lay there for a while, her head resting on his chest, his arms around her, her long legs straddling him. “Do you want some wine?” he asked. She leaned over and picked it off the floor without moving away—making sure her hips didn’t move too far. He watched her drinking from the bottle in the flashes, and just the sight and feel of her was hardening him again. By the look in her eye, she could tell, and as that primal feeling rose again, he knew this time by her face she’d do whatever he pleased.

A feminine voice spoke from the doorway.

“Clever.” Lightning flashed and lit the source, shadow casting long across the room. Kikay looked tired, and drawn, her hand gripped tight against the doorway. She glanced away as if disgusted. “I didn’t think to look in the servant’s quarters.” She sighed. “Meli said you’d be here. I’d hoped she was lying.”

27

At Kikay’s first word, Lani leapt to the side and pulled the sheet across, leaving Kale entirely uncovered. His aunt carried an oil lantern burning low, and he could see her face more clearly now. It looked somewhere between angry, and sad. “Put your clothes on,” she said, “we’re going to speak with your father.”

Lani scrambled to do just that, but Kale rose slowly. “It was my fault, Aunty. She’s drunk, and I seduced her.”

The woman who had been more mother than aunt met his eyes, and they were hard, but softened.

“You’re a child playing in a grown up world, Kale. Now hurry up before anyone else sees you.”

They finished dressing in silence, and Kikay moved into the hall.

“I’m not sorry,” Kale whispered, “and I meant everything I said.”

Lani gave him a small, brave smile, but looked horrified. As they followed Kikay they found Eka waiting. “You will come with me, Lani. Kale,” she pointed, “you go with him.”

Kale felt he’d gotten the worse deal, but neither of them questioned it or objected. As they left the servant’s quarters and their paths parted in the hallway, he looked one last time at Lani, but she didn’t look back. His shoes clicked down the smooth stone, and Eka stayed silent as the grave.

“What will my father do?” Kale eventually broke the silence, watching the taller man’s face for any sign.

“I do not know, my prince.”

They said nothing else before reaching the king’s council chamber. Inside a dozen nobles and as many servants argued around a table, Farahi and all of Kale’s brothers listening silently. The doorman did not announce them, and Eka only waited in sight until the king noticed. The men exchanged an inscrutable look, the king tossed a hand, and Eka bowed at the shoulders.

“This way, my prince,” he said, and led Kale to a smaller meeting room of hard, windowless stone. Just like a cell, he thought, then banished it, seeing Tane moments before he entered. His brother had time only for a confused wave, then the door closed.

Kale and Eka sat in wooden chairs around a small, polished-glass table. Kale did his best to meditate but felt disturbed by Eka’s eyes, resigning himself to counting marks in the glass and thinking of what he might say to Farahi. When the king finally opened the door and came inside carrying only a cup of water, Kale had drifted back to Bato in his thoughts, and jumped at the disturbance. Farahi closed the door and took a seat.

“It seems the wave has just missed the island, though still caused considerable damage. My sons and councilors can handle the details.”

He was speaking to and looking at Eka. It was his way of saying this was now his priority, even over Rangi’s fury, but Kale didn’t believe the king knew why he was here. He wondered again at the role of this ‘servant’, who could with just a look tell his father his attention was required, even in disaster. Farahi didn’t look upset, nor impatient. It was complete trust in Eka’s judgement.

“Your sister asked me to inform you that she caught Kale and Lani in a servant’s bed this evening. Caught them after.”

The king’s eye twitched, but he nodded.

“She also asked me to inform you that the daughter of Lord Sanhera was her informant, and apparently helped…arrange it. She has since left the palace with her mother, and at least one maid, which I must assume was a spy.”

The king closed his eyes. “And where is Lani now?”

“Your sister took the liberty of placing her under armed protection in your royal chambers.”

The king opened his eyes and nodded again. “Do you think the monks have anything to do with this? Is that why Kale was released so soon?”

Eka shrugged. “Uncertain, my king, though I doubt it. When the weather has cleared I will attempt to answer that very question.”

Farahi let out a breath, and looked at Kale. “You disobeyed me.” He said it flatly, then his volume increased. “What did I tell you? What did I say?”

Kale felt defiance rising at his father’s tone, despite everything. He knew it was childishness, or madness. “You said I couldn’t marry her, Father, you never said I couldn’t bed her.”

The king’s voice sharpened. “You tell me you love her. Is this how you demonstrate your love? By dishonoring her?”

“What dishonor? We made love. I don’t care what old men think.”

“And if she’s pregnant? Then what will your love have accomplished? Will you then care what ‘old men’ think? What man will want her when she has a prince’s bastard?”

“I will.” He didn’t know what else to say, and this was true. The king threw his cup across the room, the clay shattering into fragments and spreading across the tiles.

“You can’t marry her because she’s already promised to your brother!”

The low rumbles calmed for an instant, and it seemed even Rangi retreated at Farahi’s anger. Kale just blinked, and eventually swallowed.

“What?”

Farahi breathed and breathed. “Lani,” he said, “has been secretly betrothed to Tane for years.”

Silence stretched between them again, and it birthed a cold, lifeless thing in Kale’s gut.

“King Kapule and I have planned it for over a decade,” the king took another deep breath. “We had to win support, first. We had to gain enough allies in the nobility to prevent all-out war. We’re nearly ready. Perhaps we are ready, finally.”

Kale filled with questions, but his brain drowned in sand. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The king snorted. “There are only a few who know. Not even Tane knows, Kale. I couldn’t risk sabotage. I couldn’t risk Lani’s life, who our lords know and like. Replacing her with another of Kapule’s daughter, with a stranger who does not share our ways or religion—it would not work. And the union is too important.”

“But…you, you told me it was political suicide. You told me it could mean war. What’s the purpose?”

The king shook his head again. He was silent for a time, then looked down at the table.

“Do you know why we have peace with Nong Ming Tong and our other neighbors? Because they fear the sea. That is the only reason. Because the people of the continent could never face the combined navy of the isles, and we sweep dangerous waters they don’t know or understand clear of pirates, then encourage trade from one side of their land to the other. We have peace because war in the isles, or against the isles, hurts everyone—it disrupts trade. Trade that we make simpler, safer, and with as little tax as possible. Do you think it’s out of the goodness of his heart the Emperor of Naran sends us gifts and promises of friendship?”

Kale heard his aunt’s words: A boy playing in a grown up world.

“Naran has been expanding South since I was a child. Since before that. The Rice-Emperors believe themselves gods, and they mean to conquer all the world. The offer of friendship to us means they’ll soon invade the Tong—will soon be at our borders. The emperor will say he wants peace, and it will seem like wisdom because for now he does, but he does not fear the sea any more than he fears men. One day he will hire our navigators, he will make maps of our seas, and he will build a fleet of ships using our wood. He will train with our people, and copy our ways. And on that day he will tell Pyu to bow to him, as he has all the others, or be destroyed.”

Kale tried not to look as dumbfounded as he felt. He knew there was more.

“A union between Kapule and Alaku will give our people an alliance. If Naran invades the Tong, it will force us to react, or else be dishonored. Trade will be disrupted. We will give Kapule supplies and men. We will pressure all the other kingdoms that rely on us to support the Tong. And if any of our noblemen refuse, their heads will legally decorate Sri Kon’s court for the others to see.”

All this time father has planned for war against an empire not on his border? How could he know and look so far ahead?

“How…what do you get?”

Farahi’s eyes narrowed. “The best chance for my kingdom’s survival. Should I require more?” He shrugged, then looked away. “And not your brother, perhaps, but his son, maybe, could one day rule on land and sea. From the isles to the continent, an empire of Pyu and Tong to match any in the world.” His eyes looked far away. “Farmers and merchant-sailors, a sea power made from peace and prosperity and trade.”

Kale finally started to collect his thoughts, but the cold, dead thing still lived in his guts. “Then cover up our little affair, and marry them. Do it quickly and even in the small chance she’s pregnant, it won’t matter.”

The king nodded as if Kale finally learned to speak some sense. “I’ll do exactly that.” Then his face became a mask as it had in court, the hawk-king perched on his throne, boring down on Kale with his head cocked and talons ready. “Tell me, son. Why did old Master Lo let you leave Bato today?”

Kale felt danger lurking in the question, though he didn’t know exactly why. Is it danger from saying too much, or too little?

“Because I passed his tests.”

Farahi raised an eyebrow. “What was your final test? Was it the room with the symbols?”

Kale waited to answer, letting his mind race out ahead to try and avoid disaster. He saw no point in lying, but it didn’t stop his heart from pounding. “Yes.”

“And you passed this test?” The king’s voice dripped with condescension.

“I cheated.” Kale thought of Lo’s gasp and almost smiled as the king searched his eyes, back and forth.

His father watched him, then all at once he laughed, full and comfortable, made even stranger because they were locked in a stone cell with a great wave hammering outside, and no doubt Kale’s punishment waited, only moments away.

“You’re clever, Kale. I’m coming to see that, and I wish I’d noticed sooner. Not doing so is my fault alone.” He breathed and released with a sigh. “If I had, perhaps, I could have prevented this. I could have included you sooner in the affairs of state. But I didn’t, and I’ve failed you, my son. I know that.”

Kale felt a lump in his throat, and fear that he didn’t know where this was going. The king returned his eyes to the silent Eka.

“What is the chance you could find Meli Sanhera and this spy? Or the chance we could silence their family entirely?”

“Slim to none,” said the ‘servant’ without pause. “My men swept for them as soon as Kikay realized and told me, but they were gone. Lord Sanhera will bury them somewhere dark and deep now until he needs them to speak to what they saw. He will spread rumors in any case, and he will hide.”

The king nodded, and he looked Kale in the eyes. “You suggested I cover up your affair. I mean to, but you must understand. Lord Kahil Sanhera is one of the most devious, powerful men in Sri Kon, and he wishes to be king. He has always wished it. His daughter and our ‘maid’ are legitimate witnesses to your…indiscretion. He will whisper in King Kapule’s ear. He will whisper to any lord who will listen. And even after Tane and Lani are married, he will whisper that Tane is a cuckold, which is worse. That in fact it is your sons that Lani will bear. The legitimacy of those sons will be damaged; their claim will be damaged; the trust between Kapule and I will be damaged; and all that whispering will make both Kapule and I look weak unless we act. It will be a rallying cry for our enemies in a fragile peace. Do you understand?”

Kale bobbed his head a little, but his mind retreated again. He thought it strange his father should say so much—that a man who kept such secrets for years should tell them all to a son who’d just disobeyed him. “Are you going to have me killed, like Seargent Kwal?” he said quietly, then watched his father’s face tighten, expecting to feel Eka’s little blue knife cutting through his back.

“No, my son, we needn’t go that far, and it would strengthen the rumors of a scandal.”

He said no, but he considered it, he considered it and only didn’t kill me because it’s not practical.

By the look in the king’s eyes, Kale knew the reality was little better. “There can be no doubt as to the legitimacy of Lani’s children.” His father opened his mouth to speak and stopped, and had to try again, and that alone was terrifying.

“There is precedent for this, and your status as a fourth son, your expression in court for a life of academia, plus your success at the monastery—all will lend credibility to the story.” He stopped here as if he couldn’t quite bring himself to finish. But twenty-five years of rule had made King Farahi a man who could give bad news.

“I’m sorry, my son. You will be made a eunuch, and then a royal priest. Tomorrow morning.”

28

They took him to the palace prison so he wouldn’t try to run. Eka locked the iron-bar door in silence, and wouldn’t meet Kale’s eyes.

His feet dangled off the edge of his cot even further than the monastery, so he sat on it instead feeling numb. He didn’t try to reflect, or to meditate. They are going to cut off my testicles in half a day, and my own father will stand there watching.

After the king had given him the news, he’d tried to fight.

Eka, of course, overpowered him immediately—he’d hardly risen from his seat before those big hands wrapped around him in some kind of wrestling choke, his arms flailing uselessly to get away. Farahi just sat there, calm and decided. He promised, after some time, Kale would still be a trusted member of the court. He promised he could still serve, live in the palace, and be with his brothers, perhaps after Lani’s first son was born.

“After this?” Kale had screamed. “I’ll kill you. I’ll never forgive you. Never.”

All the while he’d struggled against Eka, knowing it was useless. “No,” said the king, “probably not. But you still love your brother. Your brother who is blameless. Who knew nothing of the betrothal. Who never asked for this. Will you turn your hate against him because of his father’s mistakes?”

Kale looked at the man for the first time with the word evil in his heart. “You use my love against me like a weapon? You want me to watch my brother take the woman I love to bed, in an act that for me will only ever be a painful memory? Should I play with their children, Father? The children I’ll never have?” He stared at the stone face of the king, heat leaving him as the cold thing took over. “Do you have no mercy, Father? Can you truly do this to your own son?”

The stone face cracked. “Would you rather die?” Kale said yes, of course he’d rather die. “You won’t feel that way forever. You are young, and life is long. Time will bring you new pleasures, duty will replace…”

“Enough.” He’d never imagined commanding his father, but he no longer cared. He stopped struggling against Eka, and the man let him go, though he kept close, and the king still ordered him imprisoned. He’d gone in peace.

Now he heard a key rattling on a chain and at the lock on his cell. He saw a plate of food in rough hands, and some part of his mind wondered why the guard couldn’t have slipped it through the slot. A familiar voice said “Hello, my prince,” and Kale felt the recklessness of hope. Perhaps his brothers would help him escape.

He looked up and saw another guard in the corridor behind the first. He recognized them. These were the night-guards from the gate when he came with Amit—the young men his father had whipped because Kale changed their orders.

The back of a spear thrust into his face. Bright lights burst into his vision as the pain seeped through his forehead and took over his skull. His limbs went limp and he felt arms dragging him out as he sweat and felt the urge to vomit. He felt his hands being pulled viciously behind his back, then rope being tied around them.

“Elam here heard that a prince hi’self was locked up. We asked the spirits for it to be you. And here you are.”

The man lowered his face down close to Kale’s, and his breath stunk. Something jabbed hard into Kale’s thigh. His knee bounced against the stone floor as he cried out, and a dirty rag was stuffed in his mouth, then the rope wrapped around his head.

“That’s my shit-rag, Prince. If you’re wondering why the taste is so familiar.”

He smelled the truth of it and desperately tried not to vomit, then he felt that awful stabbing pain again and again on his legs and back.

“Careful now, El, we need him to kneel now, don’t we?” Kale heard the other man grunt in agreement, and maybe disgust.

Two sets of hands grabbed at him and propped him up to his knees, his chest forced down flat on a guard’s bench by his cell. He’d regained some strength and struggled up, throwing his head back blindly, but the men dodged, and several more blows to his back and arms followed.

They rammed him down so hard it knocked out his wind, then tied him to the bench. He could hear a belt unbuckling and hands working at his navy trousers. “Oh he’s a pretty one, I’m going to enjoy this.”

‘Elam’ made another grunt of disgust.

“I’m going to pull your long, pretty hair while I fuck you bloody, my prince, and then I’m going to cut your back to look like mine, with this.” A claw-like weapon dangled in front of Kale’s eyes.

His pants were down now, and the guard was groping at him. “Don’t worry, pretty boy, you’ll like this part. Just relax.”

He closed his eyes and obeyed, picturing an open flame while he focused on his breathing. He pushed his knees forward, which seemed to be what the disgusting guard wanted—but he did it for leverage.

With every scrap of muscle earned in months of rowing and swimming and toil, he turned and spun to the side, coming up on his left foot and bringing the bench with him. A good knot, he thought, as the heavy wood followed up and swung around, catching the kneeling guard somewhere between shoulder and head.

They both went down in a heap, and Kale finally threw up as he sucked in a gasp of semi-wet feces and choked, vomiting mostly out his nose as he lurched and fell. Elam stepped forward and kicked at him again and again as the other guard recovered, spitting blood and cursing and promising that now things would be worse. They took turns kicking as Kale tried to expel the vomit and find air, tried to curl away and use the bench to protect his body.

Through the pain he heard an awful, squishing sound, and he couldn’t understand what they’d done. The kicking stopped. He heard a crash and a cry and felt a spray of air and water, or maybe blood. Then silence. A familiar voice. “Easy, now.”

Hands loosened the rope around Kale’s head and took out the gag. He coughed and spit, trying not to throw up again as he tried deeper breaths. The rope at his hands was cut, then the rope around his body. He turned and looked up and saw Tane carrying a bloody sword, expression grim, and he saw the guards were dead, or at least not moving.

“Can you speak?”

Kale tried to say ‘yes’, but it came out a messy, heaving cough. Tane’s hands moved quickly over his battered body and his eyes scanned with the sureness of a surgeon.

“Breathe,” the older prince commanded, and Kale did. It hurt, but the pain was tolerable, the coughing fit starting to fade.

“I’m alright,” he managed, and forced himself to take calm, measured breaths, though he felt stabbing pains in a dozen places.

Tane’s face returned to its natural state. “If you fancied a tumble with a guard, there are simpler ways.” He smiled as if this were the most natural thing in the world, and Kale meant to laugh, maybe even did for a moment, but it mostly came out a broken, terrified sob.

The safety of Tane’s smiling face thawed the cold, dead thing Kale built in his chest, and he wept like a child. His older brother dropped his sword and took him in his arms.

“You’ll be alright, little fish,” he whispered and brushed back Kale’s hair, kissing his brow and saying no more. He held him like a father with an infant boy—the father Kale never had; a father that protected his son, not tortured and maimed him if it became practical.

When the tears ran their course and he’d recovered some semblance of rational thought, Kale told Tane everything. Mostly. He explained the vengeful guards and the whipping, Lani and the secret betrothal; he explained the monastery and his ‘mind-walk’, and finally, about Farahi’s plans.

Tane listened to it all patiently, expressionless, and he asked no questions. “Let’s get you a physician,” he said at last, and Kale gripped him with his least damaged hand. “You mean one of the men who plan to cut off my balls in the morning?”

Tane shrugged. “You’re hurt, Brother. I know enough to be sure you’ll live, but not enough to help.”

“Get Amit.” His brother frowned. “He knows more than any of father’s ‘physicians’,” Kale said, “and I trust him.”

Tane seemed to wrestle with this, but eventually nodded and lay Kale down flat, then rushed off—careful not to slip on the pools of blood.

A small part of Kale’s mind wondered how his brother found him here at all. But who really cares?

It hurt to look around, but he had a morbid curiosity to see the corpses.

‘Elam’ had been half-decapitated, and the attempted rapist had been stabbed through the chest. It brought Kale no pleasure. I started it, he thought. They were wrong to come here and seek revenge, but I brought them shame and agony first.

He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. It didn’t stop the pain, and he could still smell blood and feces and feel the hardness of the floor, the throbbing of a dozen wounds. But it was at least numbed, somehow—less intense and immediate.

“Get him up on the bed.”

Amit’s voice. Strong arms lifted him gently. Steady, warm hands removed his shirt, cutting away at the navy uniform with something sharp, dabbing at him with some kind of wet cloth. “I don’t suppose we could get those corpses out of the room?”

Kale heard them being dragged.

“You do like to get yourself into trouble, my young friend,” the old man muttered mostly to himself, and Kale opened his eyes and smiled, though it hurt. “Ah, conscious after all.” The Naranian leaned forward, spread Kale’s lids open wider, and examined beneath. “How do you feel?”

“Like two strong men just kicked the shit out of me, Master Amit.”

“Good,” the old man grinned, “that’s exactly how you should feel.” His humor vanished. “They’ve damaged a few bones in your left hand, Kale—I’ll need to set and brace them. And your shoulder is out of place.”

Kale nodded, only vaguely aware of what that meant. He’d never really been hurt in his life, at least not badly.

“Everything else looks simple enough. You’ll need some weeks to recover, but there’s little to be done except keep the wounds clean.” Amit reached down and opened a leather bag, and Kale saw frightening tools, including saws and knives. He brought up a bottle of foul-smelling, clear liquid, several gadgets made of wood and leather, and a stick. “Hold this in your teeth,” he said, and placed the stick as Kale obeyed. Then he seized hold of Kale’s shoulder, told him to ‘relax’, and without warning jerked excruciatingly downward. Kale cried out and dug his teeth into the wood.

“Hence the stick,” Amit said pleasantly, as Kale groaned and rolled his eyes. He could feel himself sweating again, bright blotchy squiggles forming on the walls. “Now, for the hard part.”

Kale tensed. That wasn’t the hard part?

Amit took hold of his hand, which flared anew with pain, and Kale saw now that two fingers were swollen and…crooked.

The sight of it was bad, but the pain was worse. Amit twisted them back straight and Kale thought he would pass out or throw up again, crying out as his vision blurred and blackened. He heard Amit mumbling things like ‘that’s a brave lad’, and ‘passing out might be wise’, as he strapped the wood and leather contraption to the finger. Then it repeated.

By the time Amit scrubbed at Kale’s many sores with a cloth dipped in the clear liquid, he hardly even noticed the pain, though it probably should have burned like fire. Compared to his shoulder and hand, though, the sting felt like a gentle caress. Tane apparently returned, though Kale hadn’t noticed.

“How’s our patient?”

Amit grunted. “He’ll be fine, but the fingers and shoulder will take some time to heal. With all the bruises to his legs and back, sleeping won’t be easy for a while.”

Tane nodded then raised an eyebrow. “And his head?”

Kale sat up, probably faster than he should have, and spit out the stick. “My head is fine,” he said, harsher than he’d intended, then felt throbbing in his face and a sharp pain in his shoulder. “Well…comparatively speaking.”

Tane’s face and tone didn’t relax. “Do you remember the story you told me, little brother?”

“Do you think I’m in Father’s prison for fun, Tane?”

The crown prince shifted uncomfortably and glanced at Amit. “Would you excuse us, sir?”

The old man bowed. “Keep those splints on, and try not to move your hand. I’ll check in on you tomorrow.”

“Amit.” Kale hoped the look he gave was meaningful. “Make it bright and early, yes?” He had no idea what use the man would really be, but he wanted him there when…well, when whatever happened, happened. Amit nodded, then was gone.

Tane put both hands on his brother’s arms and looked him in the eyes.

“Tell me the story again.”

So Kale did. This time he started back in the navy—with Seargent Kwal and Utani. He told him about meeting Lani at the Lights and Sky, about Meli’s ‘help’ there and again at the candle ceremony. It was all going fine, until he got to the monastery.

“You passed the wall test?” Tane asked for the second time.

“Yes. I told you. A young monk named Ando taught me how to…look it sounds stupid, I realize that…but he taught me how to ‘float’ outside my body. He called me a ‘Nishad’—they who stay. And when Master Lo said I had to memorize that room, I just ‘walked’ through the wall and traced the symbols—I didn’t really memorize anything.”

Tane stared at him, searching, so much like Farahi.

Kale wanted to throw his hands, but he settled for an eye roll. “Well how did you pass the test? Is it so impossible I could do something you and father did?”

His brother’s eyes narrowed. “No one actually passes the monk’s tests. You learn humility at the monastery. Or patience, maybe, or ‘inner peace’, or some other nonsense, admiring the beauty as you twiddle your thumbs and fail.”

Kale closed his eyes and lay flat, then winced in pain and turned a little. “Lo said father passed them in two weeks; he said you did it in three.”

Tane snorted. “I was there for months. And frankly I think they only let me go because I made Lo crazy.” He smiled at the remembering.

“What does it mean?”

Tane shrugged. “Could they have drugged you? Tricked you? It might be they were part of Sanhera’s plot—though that makes no sense. Why bother with the ruse? They could have released you whenever they liked, for whatever reason they liked.” He still looked confused, but his expression changed—something intense, and final. “Have you ever lied to me, Brother?”

He hadn’t and said so, and Tane grinned, his usual self returned. “Well, since you just told a future king you fucked his betrothed, I think we can conclude you’re not wise or clever enough to lie.”

Kale opened his mouth but couldn’t think of a response to that. Tane switched back to his princely mask.

“I believe you, little fish. I believe it all.”

Kale’s eyes welled with tears as he slumped into his brother’s big, safe arms.

“Don’t worry,” Tane said, “I’ll deal with father.” He gently stroked the few unharmed patches of skin on Kale’s back. “Anyway, what good is my little fish without his flipper?”

Kale’s attempt to laugh again turned into a sob, so he just nodded against his brother’s shoulder.

“I’ll stay here tonight. Try to get some sleep. I won’t let them hurt you again. Any of them. That’s a promise.”

Kale sunk down into the warmth of Tane’s embrace to obey, despite his wounds. In his heart, perhaps, he didn’t truly believe the king’s orders could be stopped. At least not with words. Maybe not with anything. But if this were the last night he was to be whole in body, and perhaps whole in mind, he was glad to spend it with someone who loved him.

29

The guards came at first light. Apparently Tane had just dumped the two corpses in the hall, so the men came in with weapons drawn. The casual greeting from the crown-prince, however, his own sword covered with dried blood and firmly in hand, gave them pause.

“We are to deliver Prince Ratama to the king in his private chambers. Stand aside.”

“I won’t stop you,” said the heir in his father’s voice. “But I’m coming.” He stepped back, putting his hand out towards Kale in a deferential gesture, and the guard sheathed his sword and came forward, face red and beaded with sweat.

“Oh, and…Hori?”

The guard flinched at his name, and his eyes flicked to the prince.

“One day I’ll be king. If you do anything other than escort my brother in the gentlest, most respectful fashion now, on that day, well, I expect I’ll kill you.” He shrugged and laughed, looking at all the guards as if they shared the joke. “And who knows? Probably your wife, and then your children.”

The guard swallowed, but didn’t stop, approaching Kale with one arm extended, waiting and letting him choose the posture of support he’d prefer. “He’s our prince, too,” he said quietly, and after a pause, Tane nodded.

Kale didn’t like the threats or being treated like an invalid, so he slipped off the bench and tried wobbling to his feet, then sagged into his brother’s arms. They left together, finding more armed men outside the room, then limped in silence along the hall and down the stairs, where Kale descended with all the grace of a drunken cripple. Their escort dropped or sheathed swords and spears and helped them along, wood clattering on stone and grunting the only sounds as they made their way to the king’s small-chamber.

The guards stopped at the door but still said nothing, and Tane took them both in without knocking as Kale’s heart hammered in his chest.

The door closed behind him, and he tried to adjust his eyes to the darkly lit room.

Heavy drapes blocked all light from the lone window, and a cot had been placed in the middle of the floor. Leather straps hung from its corners, and one of father’s physicians sat in a chair beside, fussing over a table filled with tools.

They mean to do it, then, and there will be no delay, not even for my injuries.

He grit his teeth and for a mad moment considered jumping out the window and running for his life. But since just standing was hard enough, and the window was no doubt barred and led to a maze of guards, walls, and long corridors, this didn’t seem particularly useful. Hairs rose on his neck, and he felt before he saw Eka waiting like a shadow against the stone.

The ‘servant’ or perhaps spymaster bowed towards the brothers, knocked on the small door on the opposite side of the chamber, and the king himself came out.

Not only does he mean to go through with it, Kale shivered, he means to watch.

The cold deadness crept back into his gut, and the room felt suddenly far away.

Farahi’s eyes went over Kale’s wounds, then settled on Tane as he took his seat, hand instinctively moving to quill and paper as if he were about to take a letter. His glare stayed on his eldest son. It wasn’t anger or surprise, Kale thought, only assessment, and it went on and on as the room stilled and waited as king and heir weighed.

“Lie down on the bed, Kale, and we’ll get this over with.”

“Don’t move a muscle.”

Tane’s voice sounded just like their father’s. For a while no one moved except the physician, hands and feet shuffling while his eyes scraped the floor-tiles. The king at last gave the smallest of nods, and Eka drifted forward.

Tane released Kale and drew his sword. “I’ll kill him, or he’ll have to kill me. You’re not cutting my brother.”

Kale was glad for the cold, deadness, or he might have broken down in tears at his brother’s heroism. But he remembered his own futile defiance before the monastery.

“No,” breathed the king, as if part of a sigh, “Eka will disarm you, and then you will be as obviously helpless as you actually are, and then we will proceed.”

“Perhaps.” Tane cracked his neck and rolled his shoulder, then chuckled as he had with the guard. “But do this, and perhaps I’ll strangle Lani in our marriage bed.”

The king blinked and spared a glance at Kale.

“Or perhaps I’ll whisper secrets in your enemies’ ears. Perhaps I’ll just slip poison in your cup.”

At this Farahi cocked his head, but his voice held no concern. “You would betray your king?” He spoke as if he inquired about the weather, voice calm as a Bato breeze.

Tane shrugged, still pleasant. “I do what I must. I only warn you. Cut my brother, and make your heir your enemy. I mean no disrespect.”

The physician had moved from discomfort to panic, hands shooting from pockets to hips, to his tools, to his face.

“I have two more sons,” said the king, “you overvalue yourself.”

“You have three. But you speak as if I hadn’t considered this since I was seven years old, Father. My brothers love me more than you. Take my life, and you best take theirs as well.”

At this the king paused, and Kale swore he saw pride in his eyes, if just for a moment, but he looked no less committed. “I’m a young man still, my son. I could take more wives, have more children. I could marry Lani myself.”

The crown-prince shook his head. “A new heir—the child of a foreigner, from a third wife? On the back of scandal and ‘accidents’ for your sons, including a well-liked heir from a noble family?” He smiled. “I think not. Twenty more years for your enemies to gather before this pretender comes of age? You won’t make it, Father. We both know that.”

Any remnants of pride in the king’s eyes vanished entirely, replaced by something less wholesome.

“Will I not?” He shifted as if to rise, then settled back in his chair. “There is an expression, my son, that I feel strange evoking, but it applies. You may have heard it, I’m sure, but do you know the story?”

Tane said nothing.

“When I was your age,” the king’s eyes drifted to the single whale-oil lantern, “the Trung royal family of Halin city began to disobey Sri Kon’s laws. The Trung, you see, were a proud and ancient line, like your mother’s. It was believed by the Trung that they had certain…priveleges, by virtue of this noble ancestry. That they were, in some sense, above the law. That they were untouchable.” The way he said ‘above the law’ made it obvious what he thought of that notion. “It seems silly to you now, I know, but this was widely believed throughout Pyu at the time, my son, not just by them, and had been for hundreds of years.”

He paused here and smiled as if recalling a fond memory. “One day, I sent the old Trung patriarch—who was also styled as king in his own right of Halin—a message that I would like to ‘negotiate’. Well, predictably, he sent most of his fleet to help with the discussion. However, I sent only a small force with your Aunt Kikay…” he stopped here and looked at Tane like he might be wondering why, “…to demonstrate my good intentions, of course. After all, they could have easily captured her for ransom.” His voice rose in a rare display of drama. “My last living direct relative, save for my sons! A great gesture of trust indeed.”

“Your aunt said the talk was long, painful, and ultimately fruitless. The Trung wanted gifts, they wanted special recognition, exemptions. It dragged on from morning to evening—and we all know how patient your aunt can be.” He smiled, but it faded. “Halin’s navy and most of her army, too, eventually returned home, no doubt swelled with the notion that Sri Kon was afraid to face them. But near the coast they discovered smoke rising from their island. They found half their city in flames. I’m told they kept good order and marched straight to the castle. I’m told they marched through dead men and children—their fathers, brothers and sons, finding their daughters and wives had simply vanished. And step by step through that horror, finally, back in the center of their noble house, they found the great, impenetrable castle of Halin sacked.”

The king’s eyes drooped and his jaw tightened. “Old man Trung had been cut into pieces and gathered in a soup cauldron with his head on top. His wives, concubines and children were butchered there beside him, their limbs arranged on the tiles to spell the word ‘king’. Every member of his family—the sons and daughters of nobles, had been gathered up and massacred, from the old women to the infant boys, from direct relatives to distant cousins. Their ancient, noble, untouchable lineage had been entirely wiped out.”

Tane’s eyes locked onto his father. “I assume the point of this story is coming shortly.”

Farahi’s head quirked. “Perhaps you haven’t heard the expression.” He smiled without warmth. “I suppose its use would be avoided around Alaku princelings. Well. Allow me to enlighten you. And you’ll have to forgive me, for I understand it can be used in a variety of circumstances.” The smile widened. “Though never, of course, in Halin city. If someone ever suggests that something is impossible, my son, you need only reply: Go and ask the Trung.”

Eka appeared beside Tane as if from thin air, hands curling about the prince’s sword-arm and wrapping him up in one swift motion.

He struggled—certainly better than Kale had—and wasn’t so easily disarmed as the king promised. The pair wrestled and fought for sure footing, legs pushing and pulling as if in a dance. Eka’s hand shot out into Tane’s throat.

He coughed, eyes bulging in panic, and Eka twisted him roughly to the ground in a violent show of strength. He bound the younger man’s hands with a thin cord from his belt, then threw him back against the wall, where he sagged down struggling to catch his breath.

“Get on the table,” said Farahi, any trace of patience gone. The surgeon trembled, face pale, and he swallowed with some effort.

Kale didn’t move, and Eka came forward, inevitable as the tide. Impossibly long arms and vice-like hands gently moved him to the table, then he felt the physician take his arms and legs and strap them down with the leather bindings.

“Don’t…do this,” his brother choked. “I beg you. I’ll do…anything.”

Kale heard the anguish, the desperation. It broke his heart.

“It’s alright,” he heard himself say. “It’s my fault. But we’ll still be together.” He looked at his brother, and saw the tears—the rejection of reality in the boy’s eyes. He watched him struggle to rise and rush screaming, his hands still tied. Eka held him fast.

“Learn this lesson well, my son.” Farahi spoke with no hint of pleasure. “Love is a slow, awkward weapon and often cuts two ways, while fear is easy. You could turn your brothers against me with love, but I can turn them back by threatening you.” He looked at Kale, and his voice held no victory, nor pity. “They know what I will do, if I must.”

The surgeon fumbled at Kale’s blood-stained pants, uncovering the offending appendage and wiping at it with what smelled like rum. He leaned forward to look Kale in the eyes. “This…is going to be painful, my prince. I…have been ordered not to give you a tincture—it would help, with the pain, but would also thin the blood, you understand, and increase the chance of death.”

Kale nodded, feeling far away from himself, too numb for fear. He focused on his breathing.

“I’ll kill you.” His brother stared at the physician. “Perhaps I can’t get at the king, but I can get at you. I can torture your whole family while you watch. If you cut my brother, I’ll hold you responsible.”

“Better,” answered Farahi, “but the man need only fear me more than he fears you. Which, of course, he does, and rightfully so.”

The physician wiped sweat from his brow with a trembling hand, and Kale was pretty sure he feared them both. But his cold, clammy fingers soon held Kale’s sensitive flesh in position while they lifted the blade.

Kale closed his eyes and imagined a white, sandy beach, hoping he could burn at least some of the agony in his fire. He tried to block the anticipation of the knife, the images of a future surrounded by nattering priests, the life of watching the woman he loved with Tane.

The room convulsed with loud knocking from the door. The surgeon jumped so badly he nearly finished his task, and every man in the room released a collective breath. No one moved or spoke, waiting on the king, who closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, then waved an impatient hand.

Eka only cracked the entrance and blocked sight with his tall frame. Aunt Kikay and Amit crept inside.

Farahi’s eye twitched when he saw his sister, but near bulged at the sight of Amit. “Yes?” he snapped, blinking and shifting in his seat. They bowed.

“Master Amit has a suggestion, Brother. I thought you should hear it before…well, I thought you should hear it.”

Farahi and his sister exchanged an inscrutable look, and Kale had to swivel his head around to see them both. Kikay looked dreadful. The skin around her eyes showed more blue than brown, and her mashed hair flopped to one side. Amit, on the other hand, appeared perfectly serene—like a monk on his morning stroll, hands in the cuffs of his heavy robe.

Even with his limbs strapped to a cot, his balls in the cold hands of a stranger who meant to take them, and his bruised and battered body aching in terrible waves, Kale smiled. In fact, he worked hard to suppress a rather inappropriate, and likely half-insane laugh.

You cheeky old son of a bitch. This better be good or my father is going to strap you on this cot next to me.

“My king,” said the former slave, and Farahi struck the air in a wave to continue. “Your sister has shown me undeserved honor by explaining your son’s…”

“Get on with it or start praying to your fire god.”

Amit bowed again.

“It occurred to me, lord, as I’m sure it did to you, that the words of a teenage girl are little threat, as long as you remove any possibility of her story remaining relevant.”

The king nodded, looking increasingly impatient—if that were possible—and he waved a hand towards Kale and the physician as if to say ‘obviously’. Amit bobbed again in his strange, foreign fashion.

“I also drew the conclusion, great king, that an alternative to your current plan would be to send your son far away—unofficial exile, let’s say. Except you fear this would imply a scandal, and legitimize the rumor.”

Again the king nodded tersely, though his look of impatience seemed diminished.

“Then, if I may, my king, I humbly suggest you consider an alternative which achieves the same goal—that is, that you send your son for ‘education’ at the Imperial Academy in Naran.” The king raised an eyebrow, which Amit took as consent to proceed.

“The academy is a place of great learning, lord. It is open to every citizen who can pass the entrance exams, and also foreigners—especially the nobility of other lands. The graduates may go on to hold positions in government. Even foreigners, though this is rare. Your son has already declared his interest in scholarship at court. He has now shown great potential in spiritual matters at the monastery by virtue of his speedy return. Further, the Emperor has sent you gifts and offers of friendship, which were presented at court. It would be a logical, well-received demonstration of your good intentions, acceptance of that friendship, and interest in Naranian culture. Surely, none of your lords would think it strange, but wise. And more—your son will learn their language, and many other useful things in his studies. Perhaps in a few years, once Tane and Lani have had a son, or a few sons, Kale could return and be of some further value.” He paused. “And remain…undamaged.”

Here the scholar bowed low, finished, and returned to his serene, seemingly uninterested posture. Farahi stared.

“Thank you, Master Amit. I expect your suggestion is solely in the interests of myself and my sons, and has nothing to do with your former allegiance to the Emperor?”

Amit bowed low, yet again. “Noble king—I am your servant now by oath, duty, and honor. Please take my meaningless life if at any time you believe my intentions are anything but to your benefit.”

Farahi silenced at that. Whatever existed in Amit’s heart and culture that produced his words of loyalty—true, or not—Kale knew his father didn’t understand it, trust it, or really believe it.

“Excuse my implication. You’ve been a useful member of my court, and done nothing to deserve my mistrust. I will consider your suggestion.”

Amit lowered his head, and no one else moved until the king rose from his seat. “Tane and Kale—return to your rooms, and I will speak with you later. Go nowhere else. Eka, untie my sons, then go and deal with the corpses upstairs. Amit, please follow me.”

With that, he turned and left without a glance at anyone.

“You can let go of my testicles now.”

The pale, sweating physician obliged with a jerk, and a relieved nod.

* * *

Kale walked back to his room in the groggy stumble of a half-sleeping man. It wasn’t the pain, which he hardly felt, but the end of panic and helplessness, the flood of relief—the rising and falling through madness and terror, re-surfacing into a world that looked like his childhood home, but wasn’t, and maybe couldn’t be ever again.

This time, disobeying his father didn’t even enter his mind. He went to his room—his actual room, not his cell—and sat on the bed. The pain returned in fits, warring with the blank, empty sensation of floating far above his body and only watching this life as a curious stranger.

He had no more tears to shed. His mind knew he remained a young man with a long future. But it didn’t touch his heart.

He was ‘saved’, but still sent away, for who knew how long. And his brother was still going to marry the girl he loved.

Well, that took care of the numbness.

The thought dug its way to his gut and twisted, but he made his mind focus on the silence of his room, on the stillness of his body. She had to marry someone, you should be pleased it’s Tane. He’ll treat her well, and you won’t be here to see it anyway.

He sat motionless fighting thoughts and memories with fire until he heard footsteps in the hall, and a long pause, then Farahi opened the door without knocking.

The king pulled back a chair lodged under Kale’s mostly-unused desk. His face drooped as if he were tired, which made him look somehow more genuine—more man than king. Well, maybe not quite.

“I have decided to accept Amit’s suggestion of ‘education abroad’. You will be sent North, and travel through Nong Ming Tong under the king’s protection, then through Naran until you’ve reached the Imperial Academy near their capital.”

Kale said nothing, and his father met his eyes for a moment, then looked away towards the window.

“You hate me. I understand. You’ve earned that right, and a little hate isn’t bad for a young man.” He breathed, and strangely, smiled. “You are aware, I suppose, that I was king at your age?” He didn’t wait for acknowledgment. “Disease, the story goes, killed my family on holiday. I was left at home because I’d been disobedient. Your aunt because she was pregnant.”

“I’d not been groomed to rule, Kale. I was sixteen, suddenly the last Alaku prince from a century-long reign that made our enemies hate us just for being kings, even after decades of peace and prosperity. Before the Alaku’s, Sri Kon had been governed by half a dozen families, and they had been waiting a very long time for this moment.”

“I know all this.” Kale felt petulant even though he was interested. His father nodded.

“But do you understand what it meant? All our enemies had to do was kill one last untried boy, and the succession of Sri Kon, and therefore control of all of Pyu, would become a free-for-all.” Farahi shrugged. “I had the navy, of course, and the army, such as it was. But their loyalty…well, questionable. I had your Aunt, though she was only eighteen, now a widow, and pregnant.”

His hint of smile faded, and his eyes looked far-away. “They came for me, Kale, many times. They bribed or threatened my advisors, my servants, my guards. I survived the first poisoning, and your aunt made my meals for years, and even then, I lost tasters. I was stabbed in court, attacked in broad daylight outside the palace, besieged by ‘rebels’.” He paused, and his eyes burned. “But they failed. I wouldn’t die. That’s why they called me a sorcerer. Because I just wouldn’t die like half the nobility wanted, and soon they claimed it was I who killed my family to seize power. The murderers stood brazen before all and called me patricide, and kin-slayer, the blood of my father no doubt still tainting their blades.” His jaw clenched.

“I took important wives, had sons, made allies. I strengthened my claim, my hold on the navy and the islands. And one by one I came for my enemies. I came for their livelihoods, their warriors, or their children in the night. Family by family, island by island, I silenced their threats and regained what my father’s death had lost.”

He looked Kale in the eyes again. “You were not wrong to pursue Lani, my son. She’s a loyal, clever girl, and she’ll make Tane an excellent wife. A royal woman like that can be worth more than an army, I know it all too well. But you must never trust too much, or love too deep, because as a king or a prince or just a man sometimes you must give up the things you love.”

He rose and went for the door, but looked back one last time. “I’m a hard man and a poor father, I know, but such is the world, and soon you will see it for yourself. Amit will be going with you as your tutor, so speak your mind to him. One day you will return to us, and hatred or no you will still be my son. You will return and serve your brother when he has secured our family’s legacy, and the future of our people. This is your duty as it is his. As it is mine.”

The king left and closed the door without a word or gesture of love or sorrow, and was gone. And the next morning, so was Kale.

PART THREE

Gods and Kings

30: Summer. 425 G.E.

Egil waited all night for the town’s priestess to leave. A few townsfolk had gone, too, but most remained—the chief included. It was time.

“I come now, brothers and sisters of the mountain, to the end of song. For of the days I wish to speak there was as yet no music. No words. Only a vast and endless, frozen sea. An age of water. An age of ice. You’ve heard the tales.”

He spoke a small variation of a standard creation myth—something every child had heard from kin around hearth-fires a hundred times. The townsfolk would be settling in, anticipating the yarn to come.

“Before Imler and his lies, before Galdra and her book—first there was Tegrin, who came from the heavens, one star-god amongst many, and cracked and stirred the deep with his iron rod. While the sun watched on, old Volus, with his lover the moon, Tegrin toiled. Water thickened, then came fire and wind, and the waves made land. Noble mountains held Tegrin’s heat in trust while the wind did its work. And when all was ready, and the great sky-god fled back to the heavens, then rose the mighty rock. Turgen-Sar! The mountain of all things. Surely, you have seen the signs?” He waved a hand in proof.

“Flames, held with honor, spewed forth to melt ice, to turn water to earth. An age of power. An age of gods. All was consumed. All was burned until life rose from the ash. Seef and Zisa, Vol and Noss—Edda came and taught them words. The sun-god turned his gaze finally at length upon the earth to see Zisa’s beauty, and green-life came to a once frozen wasteland—his jealous lover doomed never to catch his eyes. You see the signs.” He gestured towards the sky.

“It was an age of peace, yes, but loneliness. The immortal, childless gods begged generous Tegrin for others, but he could not descend, for the other star-kings watched him in the heavens. God-kin prayed at the mountain, but still he could not come, and in anger at being abandoned, in the grief of being alone, bold, rash Noss leapt into the great volcano. You know the signs.”

“Deep in the nightmare-pit beneath the world, Noss burned. It was a time of pain, a time of chaos. And the earth shook as Noss battled fire and stone, plunging his spear deep into the earth as he cried ‘I do not fear you! I do not fear!’, until the world-stones shook, and fire leapt forth from the mountain of all things. We are the signs!”

“Men rose from the ash, yes, and beasts. But the dark creatures of an ancient age rose too—Aligo, eater of the dead, the deathworm with acid maw; and Omika, virgin-killing giant; Mananan, blood-sucking, winged bat; the list goes on, though I fear to name them. But Noss, lord of the mountain, was trapped. And Bray, goddess of life, wept at the base of all things for her lover, and her tears fed the shining river that runs through the land of men. You’ve seen the signs.”

Egil changed his tone and pointed his fingers out towards the crowd.

“When a man, living in the world made for the gods, does nothing of value—Noss claims him and takes him back to the mountain. But what of evil men? What of Imler, the betrayer? He, too, came forth from the mountain. A child of Noss. Half-man, half-god, he made his claim upon the earth. But before the twisted-lord, there were other god-kin, the first Vishan – Ezra, god of disease and hunger and suffering; Sigun, He Who Lurks in the Sea, god of squalls and mists, of whale-sharks. There are others, far worse, but I dare not name them. You know their signs.”

“The Seer there was, too, the blind-sighted. Kuyag, The Arrogant. He who told the cruel their fate. For he was never wrong, and he foretold the end of the mountain’s reign—the end of all things—when the great-rock would burn, and Noss too in chains of flame, and the land of ash would cover in darkness—the end of the world. And yet, he foretold, our frozen lands would warm, and he said our children would be re-born in paradise, where the brave live forever, in the halls of the gods.” Now he shouted: “I have seen the signs!” with his hand to his chest, and the audience drew back in surprise.

“There is a man, countrymen, a son of the Vishan, a child of Noss. He is a herald who bears the name Bukayag, and walks the Ascom now with a face of ash to protect him from the coming fire. He is a Rune-Shaman, called The Last, and he warns the chiefs of men. He says: look to your deeds, the inferno comes. I have seen him; I have seen his mark.”

Egil drew a blue-steel blade, etched from hilt to tip with a dozen runes of power.

“This sword is made by his hand!” The wide eyes of the men in particular followed. “Is this crafted by a man who fears the gods? No! And why? Because he sees the end.”

He threw the priceless artifact down onto the chief’s table like it was nothing.

“He knows that bravery is the only shield left to man, for he is the Arrogant Seer, re-born.”

Then he waited, watching for eyes that would meet his own as he had a dozen times in a dozen halls.

“I warn you now, men of Norof—see to your deeds. And I tell you this, mothers and sisters. You may see your daughters bear their children in paradise—free from Noss’ rage, on shores warmed by living fire, in the company of their ancestors. An age of plenty. An age of re-union. I say no more.”

Egil left the rune-sword on the table and strode from the hall, townsfolk crying out behind him. On another night he might have stayed to drive it all home, but Ruka would be waiting.

He crossed the dirt and grass that led to the rear of the hall, his weight mostly on his walking stick. Sula, his war-horse, waited too, left untied and unguarded, for Sula needed neither. The beast’s eyes watched with recognition and without fear and Egil touched his nose, a feeling of safety flooding over him. His awkward, saddle-twisting efforts to mount, uncomfortable for any horse, made no impact on Sula, who stood perfectly still, muscles flexing with ease to support the awkward angle.

“Come,” said the skald needlessly, and patted the creature’s flank as it half-sprung forward, eager to run, eager to face the dark night ahead as always. For Sula was a warrior, Egil had learned, as much as any man—the dispassionate look in his eyes a fearful, bestial reflection of his master’s. Egil shivered, though the late-summer night was warm, and he soon left the town behind.

* * *

Eyes watched him from the darkness, he knew, though he couldn’t see, and the sliver of moon faded as morning light crept into the world. Ruka’s camp would be surrounded by scouts, but they’d recognize Sula. At least Egil hoped. He kept low in the saddle regardless, gripping the reins with tight fists.

They weren’t far from Alverel now. Half a day’s walk would have them at the law-circle itself. Egil had no idea what would happen when they arrived, but it wouldn’t be good, and there was no question he was going to find out.

Ruka’s half-dozen ‘retainers’ had been ordered to go out and find like-minded recruits. They would be chiefless men, outcasts and outlaws, disfigured, dishonored—men without women, children, or property. They were to meet here overnight where Ruka stored plenty of bread, meat, water, and fresh wheat beer, all of it stolen. This morning he would win their hearts and minds and tell them why they’d come.

A low-fire came into view and Sula walked towards it. Egil saw the glint of iron from a ring of men sitting close and his pulse quickened, though he wasn’t sure why.

“Ah, the bard returns. Welcome back, Egil.” His master’s voice both comforted and frightened him, and he eased his leg off Sula’s back as strong arms carried him down. “How was your message received in Norof?”

“Very well, lord, though I had to rush away.”

Ruka shrugged. “I’ve been waiting. Now that you’re here, I’ll begin. Take a seat.”

He did as commanded, and the men moved to clear him space, for regardless of his injuries and lack of sword, with Ruka’s respect came the respect of others. There must have been a few dozen. At least.

“Men of ash.”

The gathering kept their wine-skins but all chatter stopped.

“Each of you is here because you trust the man who brought you, and so do I.” He paused. “Let us speak plainly.”

“Though I do not know you, I know your stories. No woman would choose you as you are, and so you have no children; you serve no chief, therefore you have no people. If you have fought, or killed, then you did so for yourselves, and not for honor, or glory, but survival. Some of you are single-sons. Some of you are disfigured—touched by Noss in the womb. You may have no father, nor even a mother. Some of you, like Tahar,” Ruka rested a hand on his retainer’s shoulder, “may once have had some, or all those things, now stripped from you by the law. Perhaps justly. But likely not.” He paused again. “Most of you have never known a woman’s touch. The only warmth you find is by a fire alone, outside, or at the bottom of a flask. None of you will see paradise. When you die, the lord of the dead will claim you for his mountain, and you will burn and be re-born.”

Some eyes stared in defiance, but most were on the ground, in shame.

“I know you because I am you,” Ruka thrust his ashless face into firelight, revealing his huge birthmark, his lumpy, misshapen features, and his fierce bright eyes. Some men gasped, but none recoiled. “But unlike you, I am a son of the Vishan.”

Eyebrows raised, mouths opened, and men looked at their fellows. Ruka pulled away.

“My name is Bukayag.”

Egil wondered how many here had heard it—had heard the tale of the ‘Last Runeshaman’. Had it spread from hall to countryside, from town to town through other skalds?

“I had a father and mother once, and a brother, Ruka. He was everything I am not. He was whole, unmarked, and welcomed. Despite my curse he loved me and called me brother. And like me, he had the seer’s sight. He saw a great future for our people. He wished to lead us to a world where laws didn’t make us animals and slaves, where men could find glory protecting the Ascom—not warring with neighbors or strangers who’ve done them no harm. He saw a return to the days of old, when great heroes fought evils that lurked in the night.”

Ruka’s voice rose steadily, filled with emotion, but he paused again. He crouched down and stared into the fire, his look somber. “The priestesses killed my brother. My father. And…when she was sick and helpless, they killed my holy mother. I wept with their loss, but more for the loss of all Ascomi. For my brother,” he fought back a sob, which Egil knew to be fake but still seemed real, “was prophecy re-born.” He stood, and the men half leaned from their benches.

“My brother was sent by the gods to bring us to paradise, and in ignorance and fear the priestesses killed him. I knew because before that moment, in my dreams I saw lush green fields and a warm sun. But after, I saw only fire and death. Noss is coming. And it will be soon.” Another pause.

“Why now, my lord?” Egil asked, right on cue, and Ruka showed his uneven teeth. His voice roared over the fire and crickets like a strong wind.

“Why do the gods no longer test us?” He let that hang in the air. “How can men prove themselves? Show their valor? When all that’s left is peace, and laws, and fear?”

Men grumbled the same sentiment, as would most in the Ascom.

“How can a worthy warrior win a woman, when we all know the priestesses decide our mates?”

This was only partially true but widely believed, and struck home for all. Their voices rose to say so.

“What glory is there in serving a chief, when the chiefs are really chosen, and not ruling by right of strength?”

Men were rising now and calling out. Many were chiefless because they disliked the rules.

“Well I tell you what I have seen in my dreams!” And here it comes. “Galdra was a false prophet!”

Some who stood took hold of men next to them, wide eyes flickering from the fire. Egil knew that Ruka was forgiving them—saying that all their suffering, all their shame, was a lie. Everything that made them wrong, or disgraced, was a lie.

“There is no Nanot. Galdra has led our people astray! That is why the gods disappeared, that is why we have no purpose, and that is why the true gods come to destroy the world!”

Ruka tossed aside a blanket from the clearing and lifted a round, steel shield, then a long-blade. He held them out to the firelight, and they shone with colored, seamless runes. They had no lines or marks from a chisel, and they glowed blue in the pale light. Some men reached out without thought, as moths to a flame, others only held their breath.

“This is Efras, Man-hunter, and his brother Efram. They are gifts from Vol. There is a named blade for every man who will serve.”

Stunned silence. The swords were straight out of myth, and if nothing else, certainly worth a small fortune.

“Vol will be watching every man who fights with His steel; He will see your courage, and every drop of blood spilled will be in His name. The end of the world is coming, and we cannot stop it. Now, as always, there is only one protection. There is only one way to live forever in paradise. And that way is courage.”

Many men had locked their arms, crowded in so close the small fire singed their knees. Ruka went on in barely more than a whisper.

“I am the last Rune-Shaman. And I do not lead the living to paradise. I lead only those with glory in their hearts to greatness before the doom. Will you take these gifts and serve me until our deaths in the last inferno?”

“Yes,” came the reply from every mouth.

Louder. “Will you come with me to the mountain of all things, and show these traitors and deceivers the wrath of vengeful gods?”

“Yes,” they all but screamed.

“Then I call you my brothers!” Ruka shot his hand forward, and the men trampled the fire to grasp some part of it, or the back of a man who did. “All our deeds will be as one. I will carve the runes of your names into the false prophet’s rock. And if you fall, you will be welcomed as heroes in paradise.”

They laughed and wept without shame, hands gripped on each other’s backs and shoulders, watching their new prophet or the fire with wonder—eager to fight, eager to die.

Egil pulled back the tarp covering the small armory Ruka had built, and the warriors gathered round to collect their ‘divine’ blades. Ruka gifted them one by one, his massive hand on each man’s shoulder in acceptance of his loyalty.

“This is just the beginning,” his master said later as the sun rose, and Egil felt no joy, pride, or excitement for his part, but believed it was true. He didn’t accept Ruka was the seer re-born, nor the son of a god, but over the last few years he had seen his master do things that surely no other man could do.

First and foremost, he did not sleep. His mind seemed capable of recalling everything he’d seen or heard, perfectly, plucked at a moment’s notice. He had learned somehow to forge steel like the legends of old, shaping it with such strength it hacked through iron, coloring it and etching it with runes which left no mark. Egil had seen Ruka crush strong men with his bare hands—never surprised, never caught off guard, never even hurt. And his master was still a teenager.

The skald looked at the eyes of the men in his company and saw fanatics. He saw murderers and thieves, outlaws and thugs. He tried to remember what his life had been like before he met Ruka—before he’d offered a motherless outcast some food, company, and an ill-fated plan, and before he was a cripple. But the memories crashed against a wooden hull, his mind afloat in a sea that threatened to drown him in sorrow if he let go. He couldn’t let go.

“Yes, lord. Just the beginning.”

* * *

Thirty men broke camp as the light revealed them, and they went separately in smaller groups to the valley of law. They all had their orders, though Egil didn’t know what they were.

“You are sure,” he heard Ruka say, “that Priestess Kunla is a half day’s walk from the valley?”

“Yes, lord,” said Tahar, the retainer he’d singled out this morning—a former chief who’d been stripped of his title, land, family, and property for ‘misbehavior’. Whether it was legitimate corruption, or displeasing the Galdric Order that brought it on, Egil did not know.

“My men saw her and her warriors on the road,” he assured. Tahar was also a falconer, and among other uses, his birds served as invaluable messengers, though only simple orders with a single sign could be read and understood by the men.

“How many?” Ruka asked.

“A dozen, no more.”

“Were they chiefless?”

A shrug. “They could not say, lord.”

“No matter. Good work.”

The man bowed his head and withdrew, and Egil could see the pleasure in his eyes. He realized he was jealous and fought the feeling down. “Lord,” he asked, “how could Kunla just happen to be here when we come to accuse her?”

Ruka’s eyes locked on the horizon. “Because I informed the lawspeaker that Kunla would be accused, and she sent for her.”

Egil tried not to look shocked. He thought the plan was to accuse her, and then return to Ruka’s village and wreak havoc. “Why, Master? Or do you mean to ambush her on the road?”

His master said nothing, but when he did, his tone was harsh. “No, I don’t mean to ambush her on the road.”

They spoke no more, and soon crossed the wooden bridge across Bray’s River into the valley itself.

Because it was summer, Alverel thrummed with life, camps stretching from the river to the mountains, marketplace coiling like a snake around the central ‘make-shift’ town. It was hard to say, but Egil thought he could see thousands gathered here. Some would stay all season—like prosecutors who would charge strangers with crimes for money, or merchants and their families; others came and went with the season, fishermen and trappers, brewers, hound-masters and the like.

Any man riding a warhorse became a spectacle in most towns, but not here in Alverel. Instead they watched Ruka as he paced at Sula’s side, hand guiding it in the throng. They no doubt saw his height and hood, his sword-hilt, his pack of wild, armed followers. Some few women pointed, men checked their scabbards.

Egil wondered how many towns his master visited following in the footsteps of the ‘Tale of the Last Rune-Shaman’. How many chiefs now held his ‘god-gifts’? How many townsfolk believed the end of the world might be coming, and that Bukayag was its herald?

As his fame spread, the priestesses had tried to kill Ruka, of course. It started soon after he gave his ‘gifts’. The Order had always grudgingly tolerated the old ways and gods—the seers and prophecies, the end of the world, the ancient myths—but it was no coincidence that everyone, including Egil, had believed scribing runes was dangerous for a man’s health. It truly was. But whether this was due to ‘the god’s punishment’, or the priestess’s, was entirely less obvious. Or at least it used to be.

Over the last few years, chiefless had attacked Ruka many times, sometimes in the middle of nowhere, sometimes in broad daylight in a town, always on behalf of the Galdric Order. To say they had ‘failed’ would be inaccurate. Ruka butchered his would-be assassins, or just as frequently, converted them to his cause. The very men the Order used for such tasks were the most susceptible to his message, and indeed, half his retainers—his most loyal followers—were once sent to kill him. They’d been outfought, or outwitted, but spared and told the ‘truth’—then promised a special place at his side in paradise.

Twice he’d sent men back to their employers with an ash-smeared, severed head, just to trick the priestesses into believing him dealt with. Egil even heard a rumor that he’d slipped into a high-priestess’s house one night and slit her throat, though whether or not it was true, he did not know.

It would be no exaggeration to say the Order considered him a demon. Or at the very least, the worst criminal in the world. And now, here he was, boldly strolling into the heart of law to accuse a high priestess of murder—to her face—in a trial adjudicated by her ally, surrounded by hundreds of idle warriors loyal to that ally. And he had given forewarning that he was coming.

Ruka always talked about the end of the world, and Egil always thought it was rubbish. Beneath the unnatural intelligence, the bravado, the cold, calculating ruthlessness—there was an angry little boy who missed his mother, and hated all the world. Ruka wanted revenge, nothing more, and the only explanation for warning the lawspeaker was so he could go down in a blaze of glory. Egil understood then that every single one of these men was going to die.

Except me, he dared to believe.

He didn’t even have a weapon, and would not be expected to fight. I can escape on Sula when the fighting starts. I can knock men aside and run away and never look back.

Perhaps he could manage to take a rune-blade, maybe more than one, before he ran, and live like a chief. They would be worth more when Ruka was dead—especially these latest, ‘acid’-etched, ‘tempered’ creations his master was so proud of.

He felt fear and hope mingling in his chest for the first time in years. If anything can kill Ruka, he thought, it’s this madness. This iron trap of law he’s reached his neck inside.

Yes, Egil would always be a cripple now, that could not be changed, but he could be a very rich cripple, and that made all the difference. He hid his smile, keeping his face as passive as he could, and glanced subtly towards his ‘master’.

Ruka stared at him. “Put Sula in the stables, Egil.” He patted the creature’s side. “Then come to the law-circle. Tell the boy to feed and water him.”

Do not hesitate, screamed his mind, though his heart seemed to leap up towards his throat.

“Yes, lord.”

“And Egil,” Ruka’s eyes bore into his soul, “pay attention today, when this is over, I’ll want you to write a new song.”

“Yes, lord.”

He felt the flame of hope dashed as if with cold water.

Perhaps the priestesses are right, he thought miserably, perhaps he is a demon, after all.

31

“Read it again.”

Dala kept her eyes firmly on the fresh vellum scroll, hoping she’d spoken all the symbols correctly. “Bukayag, called the Last Rune-Shaman, accuses you of the murder of Beyla, daughter of Gyda, and Ruka, son of Beyla. He will stand on the holy rock on the fifth day of Tavdugar, and speak before the Goddess.”

Silence followed, and to Dala the words seemed almost a joke. She knew this ‘Bukayag’ as little more than hall gossip—an outlaw, perhaps, with a flair for the dramatic—if he even existed. But Kunla, daughter of Astrid, High Priestess of the Southern prefecture, and for the past two years Dala’s mentor, did not look amused. She crossed the room and snatched the scroll from Dala’s hands, thrusting the calf-skin closer to firelight.

Dala stood and waited in their small, dark house. She noted with a resigned sigh that her mistress had stomped dirty boots over the furs and floorboards cleaned just this morning. If it’s not grimy snow in winter, she thought miserably, it’s black mud in spring or summer.

She bent and scooped up maybe the only copy of Galdra’s teachings in the area, hoping Kunla was too distracted to notice she’d left it by the hearth.

“Singe that book, girl, and I’ll flay you alive.” Kunla didn’t bother looking up.

“Yes, Mistress.” Dala grimaced and closed the book before putting it away in her drawer. She didn’t fear the priestess, exactly, though misery often followed her displeasure, but she didn’t want to fail her or look like a fool.

Kunla folded the letter and stared at the fire. “Summer elections are in two weeks.” She sighed. “I have only enough time to deal with this and then cross half the bloody world.”

Dala wasn’t sure if she wanted a response, but as usual couldn’t help herself. “Is it not just a ruse, Mistress? One of your enemies trying to delay you?”

Kunla put thin fingers to her forehead, smudging it with dirt. “Of course it is. But that makes no difference. If I go straight to the Hall of Justice for first-round bids, my rivals will say I’m unfit to stand until the accusations are resolved. By then elections will be over, or well under way, and I’ll be kept here to endure five more years of frozen people, frozen weather, and Southern problems.” Her lip twitched and Dala thought she might throw the expensive vellum in the hearth to burn. Instead she snarled and paced, tromping mud from wall to wall.

Her mentor had just returned from preaching in the South—trying to convert men and women in the barren steppes close to the end of the world and the frozen sea. There she would have dealt with chieftains who ruled like kings. Men whose retainers swore to them for life, whose children took their names, and to whom family mattered as much as tribe or glory.

The men of the far-south ate raw fish and seal and had no horses. They crossed the snows on wooden dog-sleds three quarters of the year, buried single-born and disfigured children under their meager halls for ‘protection from the gods’, and even worshiped trees, and dogs, and fish. They were, in a word, barbarians.

But Kunla rode from village to village during the summer without fear or protection. She brought them supplies and silver, helping to arrange couplings with other tribes, and spoke of the Order’s power. They called her the ‘Grey Witch’, and meant it with respect. Her energy seemed boundless, her determination unwavering, and whether it was all just to further her own ambitions or truly spread the word of God, Dala did not know. She respected her either way.

“I’ll warm you a bath, Mistress, so you can rest and think.”

They had the only full-sized tub in Hulbron. It was walnut wood, which leaked despite Dala’s efforts, and just warming the water took forever. But once submerged even Kunla would sigh in pleasure.

The priestess waved a dismissive hand. “Wake Caro. Tell him to gather men and be ready to leave for Alverel in the morning.” She ran her fingers through short, greasy hair, which was matted to her head from hours of pressing against the hood of her cloak. Her nostrils flared and Dala thought perhaps she’d noticed the stink of sweat and horse and all of it hers. Then she glanced at her mud-spattered clothes from days of traveling in rain-soaked fields, and the redness of her eyes showed even her endurance had limits.

“You can ready the bath after,” she said, slumping into their only chair, lids sagging with her limbs, instantly half asleep. Dala bowed and put on her boots.

* * *

In the morning, Caro’s men prepared for war. Hulbron’s poverty meant they had no helms or chain-linked mail, donning only leather and quilted cloth for protection. Most carried rusty pitchforks and axes or spears, knives and seaxes strapped to hips. Only Caro and a few retainers had swords. They saddled the only three horses in Hulbron, two for Kunla and Dala to ride, but carried all the water and other supplies on their own backs to spare the beasts. Their children and matrons came out to watch from the town’s inner circle. Mostly all were silent.

“Tell me again about your little friend,” Kunla said as one of the warriors helped her mount.

Dala stroked her stallion’s flank, biting her lip as she buried her hand in its fur and flicked away the still-shedding hair. “She serves a priestess in the middle ring, Mistress, very close to Alverel.”

“And she can rally men? In two days?”

I honestly have no idea, she thought as her stomach roiled. A year before, once she’d learned to read and write well enough, she’d sent Juchi a letter with simple words and greetings. She got nearly a book in return. Since then they wrote almost monthly as messengers came down the spiral. They spoke of their charges and all they’d learned, their work and the local matrons and how life here was so different than the capital. Juchi had grown in her apprenticeship, by the sounds of it. She was older now and had the support and examples of other sisters in her posting. But did she have the spine to bribe or flatter a chieftain? Could she convince warriors to gather at her call?

“Yes,” she said with conviction, praying it was true. Then Kunla handed her a prepared vellum sheaf, lines marked with holes for boundaries the Order called ‘pricking’.

“Tell her I will support her mistress in the elections. That should suffice.”

Dala nodded and lay the wooden writing board against her horse’s side. If this is all a ruse, she thought, why then are we rallying so many men? What could possibly frighten Kunla so, and in the heart of law itself?

Kunla’s rivals would waste her time, certainly, perhaps even try to prosecute her for trumped up crimes—this was normal in elections. But violence? Against a High Priestess? In Alverel? Even using outlaws it was too far, too unbelievable. Such a plot would end in sisters stripped of titles and shamed before their peers, maybe even made into chattel for important chiefs, or left to rot in wooden cells.

When she was finished Kunla took the letter and handed it to Caro. “Send a rider ahead.” She put her mark on the outside of the scroll reserved for rank. “Tell him to demand fresh horses at every outpost and ride without rest. He is to meet us on the road again with whatever news.”

“Yes, Priestess.” Caro stood nearly as tall as Kunla mounted. He seemed to frown as he took the scroll, but then to Dala the Chieftain of Hulbron looked perpetually annoyed and disturbed, as if he considered some deep problem and every demand of life was a delay. Weak, she thought him, and the opposite of Birmun, but the memories this thought raised were not welcome, and she banished it just as quick.

Dala had learned that approximately every full day’s ride on the spiral held small outposts with stables and messengers working for the Order. It was the way the sisters spread news and sent instruction, and integral to their power. Dala lived her whole life without knowing it existed, and realized after just how ignorant she’d been. Caro’s man took the letter and spurred his horse, dust rising to the harsh wind and vanishing like smoke.

The small war-band took to the road behind him without fanfare. “Sit straight and tall in the saddle,” Kunla ordered, as she did every time Dala rode, then more quietly: “If your back and thighs start aching then walk, or better yet, endure. But do not slouch. A priestess is regal. Her will transcends discomfort.”

Dala bowed her head and said nothing, glancing sidelong at her mentor, still baffled how she managed it. Kunla had traveled seven of the last eight days eating little more than dried lamb and hard bread. Her eyes remained red from lack of sleep, and yet still they burned with purpose. Her hands held tight on the reins as she clicked her tongue and sent the horse into a trot.

“Let’s keep our pace brisk, Caro. I want mountains in sight before we camp.”

The man glanced around before he looked at her, as if surprised to be disturbed again. “Yes, priestess,” he said, emotionless, motioning for his men to follow.

* * *

They rode all morning and day and into the evening on the spiral, and still they did not see mountains. Dala rode as long as she could, shifting to fresh patches of tender flesh to rest on the saddle, but her thighs rubbed raw regardless. When she could stand it no more she walked till her feet ached, and when she felt as though she would surely collapse, she mounted again without help. She sat till her back felt as if it might shatter, till her shoulders ached with weight she didn’t know she had, till her horse sweat and frothed at the mouth. And all the while Kunla rode erect.

Caro and his men sagged but said nothing, the chief’s eyes always far away and vacant. Dala tried to imagine walking as they had with the weight of supplies, but the thought alone stripped her of strength. The summer sun was high and warm, but the wind blew strong and seemed to suck the moisture from her lips no matter how she drank. They stopped only so Dala could make water on the side of the road, which she pretended was really to pick a blue flower the Southerners called ‘Road Roses’, returning to her mount with as much grace as she could with a flower in her hair.

“We’ll camp here,” Kunla announced beside a slough of ashwood as the sun all but vanished on the flat horizon of the steppes. Dala looked at the heavy panting of Kunla’s horse and expected it was all that saved them. She eased her leg over the saddle, using every ounce of effort left to keep from moaning in pain as the near-by men dropped their packs and slumped to the ground, none moving to start a fire or flatten earth or clear rocks to make their camp.

Once on the ground, Dala closed her eyes, resting her forehead against the stallion’s damp fur. She knew nothing about horses, but the men called him a ‘Tarpy’—one of the wild, grey-colored, less desirable breeds that some said outnumbered men in the untamed steppes. “Thank you, Tarpy,” she whispered, “for carrying me.”

She’d believed ‘Tarpy’ was the creature’s name and not his breed at first. When the men shyly corrected her she’d only laughed and said it seemed fitting. Now she stroked him while he grazed on wild grass hungrily, then she poured water from her skin to her hand and smiled as he licked and slurped.

“It will find its own water in the slough,” said Kunla, “save that for yourself.”

Dala bowed at the shoulders and breathed to renew herself. She’d have thought after a ride like that, if just for a moment, Kunla wouldn’t be watching her for every little flaw. But she wasn’t much surprised. She’d endured it for two years, and did her best now to think of every criticism as ‘help’.

“Yes Mistress,” she said without tone.

Kunla ‘corrected’ nearly everything about Dala. The way she spoke, the way she ate, the way she walked and stood and washed herself. But she rarely snapped, and no matter the flaw or distaste or even contempt on the woman’s face—even when she learned Dala couldn’t read—she never sent her away. That alone was enough to earn Dala’s loyalty. It did not earn her love, perhaps, nor her sisterhood—Kunla was not a woman of vision who could help change the Order into something more pious and effective—but she was formidable, she did her duty, and ultimately, she was in charge.

Still, Dala had her little rebellions. She untied the pot Tarpy lugged in secret all day, setting it on a patch of rocky dirt with a clang, then she picked wood from the slough to burn. The men watched and soon enough they were groaning to their feet. “If someone can catch me a rabbit,” Dala said without looking at anyone in particular, “or anything at all, really, I’ll do the rest.”

Some men smiled and made nooses, or stood by the mud-hole looking for lizards or perhaps frogs, and soon others were prepping the camp. Kunla looked on, expression aloof and disapproving as usual, but said nothing. She lay her cloak out on the grass close to where the fire would be.

Dala had picked mushrooms and stuffed salt into leather pouches before they left, carrying them in the pot, and with the help of Caro’s oldest son she got a fire burning and half-filled the iron with water. There was nothing much for flavor, but salt in generous portions would still be a treat for men who lived half a world away from the mines.

Before the sun fell completely men returned with a dozen snakes, and when a wiry, black haired hunter strode into camp with a fawn pierced by one of his arrows, Dala started the cheer.

“To Bayar, son of Suren, and the men of Hulbron!”

The whole camp took it up and shook the man’s shoulders while he basked in the glory.

Unlike Kunla, Dala knew the whole war-band by name. She knew the names of their mothers and fathers and children, and their trades, and over the years had spent time with each of them. Now she uncovered her hidden wine-skin and drank, then held it out to Caro with her eyes lowered slightly in respect. He blinked and took it, looking at his men before drinking deep. They cheered him, too, and he passed it on.

Dala tried to take the carcass but the hunter shook his head. “Men’s work,” he said, by which he meant handling uncleaned corpses of any kind.

He squatted to skin and take the meat on a flat, white rock, blood trickling down the sides as Dala watched and saw the hunter’s hands shake with exhaustion. An image of Birmun and his nightmen digging trenches flashed before her, but she banished it away. He never came, she reminded herself. He’s dead or captured or changed his mind. He never came.

“Careful,” she said, pointing at the animal’s legs, “there’s glands there that will ruin the meat.”

The hunter smiled, as if he’d known but was pleased or impressed that Dala did, too. Not me, she thought, not sure why she’d bothered saying it at all, just the words of a wolf.

When the hunter’s work finished he brought the meat and bones for Dala’s pot. The snake-catchers waited near-by, their contributions prepared. “And ours, Mistress?” They looked so much like boys, like Meesha and his brothers in another life. She smiled and lifted a stick. “Better on these.” Then they helped her skewer the meat, and she coated the treats in salt.

By the time it was all cooked and ready, her wooden bowls unstacked and filled with meager, salty soup, the night was black. Men crowded around the well-stoked fire drinking, Caro finishing the wine as was expected, wiping the drops from his beard. The warriors slurped and grunted in pleasure and tore at the salted snake as if it were slow-roasted suckling pig, and even Kunla tried a little.

“Some tribesmen will be joining us at the circle, Caro,” she said as the little feast neared its end. “I expect you to use them with your own.”

The men stiffened at Kunla’s voice, and none more than their chief.

“As you say, Priestess.” His retainers stopped their chatter and moved to their furs.

Dala knew the ‘tribesmen’ she spoke of were chiefless Southerners she’d somehow ‘befriended’ over the years. The Hulbron men called them ‘Kunla’s Killers’, though Dala didn’t know exactly why. They were something like nightmen, she expected, but these were the sort who bore a dozen scars on their chests and carried swords and bows and rode wild horses they should not have been allowed to own. And unlike the nightmen, they did not wear masks.

If Kunla had summoned them here—no doubt at great expense—then she truly believed there would be violence. There is more to this than I realized, Dala thought, her sense of unease growing.

Her mentor was not prone to anxiety. She did not fear mere gossip and story. If she prepared like this then either her rivals were coming for her in force, or this ‘Bukayag’ was no rumor.

Kunla pulled her bear-skins around her lean, round shoulders without another word, and Dala watched as she lay on the hard ground by the fire.

She listened to the strong woman’s snores as she fell asleep in minutes, and Dala feared she could not do the same.

32

Alverel was a bloody mess. Dala’d been there before but only in the early spring—before, apparently, the invasion of animals, families, merchants and the clutter of summer. Now as their party descended the half gravel, half dirt path from the mountains to the valley, smoke and sound rose from every direction.

“Keep your men close around me, Caro—all the way to the circle.” Kunla remained mounted, eyes squinted, nose upturned, as if the throng disturbed her. The big chief obeyed in silence, waving his hand till his retainers surrounded the women with a shield of Hulbron’s flesh.

Men and women clustered around the road at make-shift camps selling hard bread and soft wool, goat’s milk and honeyed meats. They looked well-fed and prosperous, shouting their wares out of habit and not from need. A man surrounded by sheep in rickety stocks waved and called, “Special price for priestesses!” then turned his attention just as quick to another mounted traveler. Dala had never seen so many pens, so many animals, especially horses. It seemed every third building was a stable or kennel, boys milling about the open-air stalls cleaning or feeding shaggy beasts ranging from pure white to deep shades of brown.

She saw warriors, too, in clean mail with shields and axes and spears or even wearing swords in scabbards. They mixed amongst the crowd at ease, some drinking and laughing in groups of five or more, others silent and watchful with hands resting on pommels. Whether these served the Order, visiting chiefs, or just rich matrons, Dala did not know, but their presence gave her comfort.

As their group passed the valley’s inner waste trench—currently strewn with animal and human excrement and carrion, and not the men who would later clean it—she couldn’t help but think of Birmun. How unfair life is, she thought, then banished it as childishness and turned her mind to Juchi, wondering how she’d changed in the last two years. Had she gained some semblance of courage? Had she failed to rally any warriors, and therefore shame Dala before the High Priestess and Lawspeaker?

With her gut roiling and her neck craned as she tried in vain to see through the chaos of Alverel, she finally saw the law-stones. A veritable crowd swarmed them already—the judges seats were filled, mostly by women but also by some grey-haired and finely groomed men; dozens of by-standers leaned against the huge, pitted standing rocks as if just for the show, small children on father’s shoulders, older girls in packs watching boys tussle to impress them.

Something in the crowd’s mood ruined whatever calm Dala had left. An expectation, perhaps—an energy, like the gatherings outside official executions. Kunla’s Killers were close, Dala now noticed, moving through the crowd like a corpse in a stream, disturbing the human waters everywhere they passed. The generally refined and wealthy visitors of Alverel stared at the Southerner’s bear-skins and filthy beards, their spears and axe-blades lashed to grimy bone handles. Most covered their noses.

Dala caught sight of Juchi, though it took a moment to register. Her friend’s once tied and greasy hair was now a careful mane of brown curls. She wore armor, for Galdra’s sake—an oiled leather cuirass shaped with small breasts and muscled ridges running down to her slim, scabbard-holding waist. Her long legs were sheathed in tight cloth, equally shielded by leather greaves. She looks like a bloody ancient Knight of Galdra.

Dala balked and felt horrified at her own small feelings of jealousy. Could this truly be the mousy girl afraid of the dark and men and most everything else?

Women in the North considered armor or weaponry or violence of any kind deeply uncouth, but here she was, unabashed, and she looked…well, incredible.

Dala closed her mouth and cleared her throat, hoping her awe hadn’t been obvious or noticed.

“Is that your friend? Standing by the brute?” Kunla’s voice had perhaps a hint of amusement, and Dala’s whole head flushed with heat.

“Yes, Mistress. I’ll introduce you.”

The ‘brute’ was a blonde haired mountain, half again Juchi’s height, who stuck out even from the large thugs that surrounded him. She spoke leaning towards his ear as if they were familiar, hand on his massive arm as she tittered at some private joke. Eventually Dala’s former cloister-mate turned and noticed her, eyes widening as her whole face broke into a girlish grin. “Sister!” She untangled from the pack around her, running with shameless abandon around muddy pools and tsking vendors till she reached Dala’s horse. She helped her dismount before smothering her with strong, if wiry arms.

“Oh, Dala,” she said, “it’s so good to see you.” She pulled back and held the embrace at arm’s length while their eyes met.

“And you, Juchi.” Dala felt guilty it might not be exactly true, but she wasn’t sure what else to say.

If Juchi noticed she didn’t show it. She grinned and seemed equally lost for words. The big man she’d spoken to lumbered up behind, and she turned as she heard him. “This is Aiden, Sister, Chieftain of Husavik.”

“Mistress,” he said, voice soft but sure. He wore an iron circlet but no real armor, and several scabbards of various lengths hung from his back and waist. Though he lowered his eyes and bowed his head correctly, something in his eyes and posture held back. There’s a resistance, Dala thought, like Birmun or an untamed horse.

“This is High Priestess Kunla, daughter of Astrid, prefect of the far Southern ring.” Dala disconnected from Juchi and extended a hand towards her master, who merely nodded, and did not dismount.

“Praise her name,” Kunla intoned.

“Praise her name,” Dala and Juchi said in unison.

The High Priestess’ gaze roamed and lingered on the chief. “I have heard of you, Aiden of Husavik. Your duel against your predecessor is legendary. I thank you for your support today.”

The man bowed but to Dala seemed unmoved by the praise. “Only duty, Mistress.”

Kunla nodded as if she expected nothing more, then clucked her tongue and rode on towards the stones, leaving Dala to sort out the details.

“All the valley priestess’ whisper of your mistress, Sister.” Juchi touched Dala’s arm just as she’d touched Aiden’s, as if they conspired now together. “They speak in awe of how she’s cowed the Southrons. I hadn’t realized she’s so young!” She turned her head and cocked an eyebrow. “Not that I’m surprised, of course, but you chose brilliantly.”

Dala smiled politely. “She’s an impressive woman, and I’ve learned a great deal.” She didn’t mention all the times she thought tribal feuds might be Kunla’s death. And your mistress has ignored fashion and trained you like a warrior, she didn’t say, and has helped you grow confident and beautiful.

“This is Chief Caro.” Dala gestured for the man to approach, then looked at Aiden. He was rather handsome, she decided, for a square-faced killer. “Follow him and obey his command. We expect nothing more than a show of strength here, but best be prepared.”

Aiden nodded and met the other man’s eyes. Now that they stood close together Dala was surprised to see they were of similar height, though Aiden was thicker in bone and sinew, to be sure. His heavy lidded gaze looked equally bored, perhaps, if less distracted. Aiden though seemed a man who waited for some moment of greater glory, while Caro only waited. They reached out and seized each other’s wrists and nodded as equals, and though nothing was said, to Dala their hierarchy established in an instant. She was reminded, as usual, of dogs.

The warriors of Husavik and Hulbron came together but did not mix. Aiden had brought double the men—near forty warriors, and they looked as if they’d come from all over the Ascom just to serve him. They wore a motley mix of weapons and armor, some with bare-chests and others in full ringmail, pole-blades as long as a man jutting out from behind some backs, while others had shields and scabbards that must have held shorter, stabbing blades. All were scarred and muscled. All had jaws set hard beneath proud, fearless eyes. These were not farmers with swords. These were thoroughbreds and stallions, born and trained for violence, and Dala noticed even Kunla’s Killers eyed them as they moved in the crowd, wary perhaps of fellow predators. Caro’s men seemed to shrink beside them.

But why do we need them at all? Dala wondered again. Despite being surrounded by near a hundred armed men, and who knew how many more simply idle in the valley of law, she still felt a pang of fear.

She’d been in danger many times now in her life, and more than once in Kunla’s company in the steppes. But the High Priestess had never once been anxious. Dala looked at her master and saw worry in the grip on her horse, in the forced stillness of her eyes.

Kunla finally dismounted at the outer edge of the circle. A dozen carved stones the size of three men lay in a pattern around the holy rock, all of which had been etched with ancient runes before the time of Galdra—when shamans and soothsayers and chiefs made the laws or at least interpreted them. But Galdra had found and lay the final, central stone, and only she and her lawspeakers heard the words of the one true god.

“In the sight of Nanot, Speaker, I am here. Where is my accuser?”

Law-speaker Bodil was a bony hag in holy robes. Her shock of white, unkempt hair spread in all directions from wrinkly scalp. She had only a few, wobbly teeth as yellow as her eyes, and she leaned heavily on an ashwood branch from her perch atop the law-stone. She opened her mouth to speak, but lost the chance.

“I am here, Priestess.”

A demon from Noss’ mountain rose up behind a standing stone. His voice boomed as rolling thunder, words enunciated, measured and clear, like a bard at his craft. He wore a black cloak with a hood drawn to his eyes, face shrouded in gloom, and there looked to be silver-threaded runes stitched into its hem. Dala heard no sound of armor as he moved, but the hilt of a great-sword peeked from his back, strapped inside a round-shield. “Are you ready to face judgment for your deeds?”

The crowd stopped their chatter when he spoke. Dala tried to watch the men, to watch this ‘Bukayag’, but mostly, she watched her mentor.

Kunla stared up at the hooded face with squinted eyes, then sneered. “Nanot judges all. We shall see who today.” Her voice felt small next to his, but then she was a high priestess, she understood the law, and she was surrounded by warriors. Loudness and spectacle were not replacements.

“By what right do you accuse this holy woman?” said the lawspeaker rotely.

“By right of deed,” said the demon.

“Speak your name, then, and your deeds, Son of Imler.” Bodil hobbled away from the holy rock, and the man in black replaced her.

He waited and looked out at the crowd, as if trying to meet every eye. “My name,” he said slowly, “is Bukayag, son of Beyla—daughter of the Vishan.”

A murmur swept the onlookers. Kunla laughed out loud, then shouted up at him. “A lie. Beyla, daughter of Egrit, had only one son. A single son. And his name was Ruka.”

“And yet here I stand!”

The demon’s scream echoed out across the rocks, and every man woman and child in ear-shot straightened. Silence stretched, and though Kunla did not look at all cowed, she stayed silent.

“I am a Rune-Shaman—called ‘The Last’, though whether that is true, I will not say. But I have drawn over four thousand of the god’s marks on iron and wood, and yet still I live to draw more.”

This time the crowd snickered. A man speaking his deeds was almost required to boast, but over four thousand runes? It was too much.

Bukayag threw back his hood. His bald head had been darkened, perhaps by soot. Except…no, he had markings, his skin held runes, as if somehow carved into his flesh. The snickers stopped as the hundreds in attendance stared in amazement. His features were grotesque—a cruel god’s parody of a man’s face. But it was his eyes…golden and bright, that made Dala stare. He had the eyes of a wolf.

“I am a son of Noss, and I have great dreams of fire.” This alone should have caused a stir, but not now. “I have walked these lands of ash and warned those the gods bade me warn. I have killed twenty men in single-combat, dozens more in battle, and I carry no wounds.” He threw back his cloak to reveal a half-naked, muscle-bound body covered in the same skin-runes, and without obvious scar.

Can it be the same wolf that killed Meesha, Dala wondered as her heart went wild. She stared and stared in search of remembrance, but there had been almost no light as her brothers died.

“I am a prophet of the gods, and I carry their burden.” The demon drew his huge sword, its ring disturbing the silence produced by the absence of his voice. It, too, looked intricately marked, and the steel was colored like ice on a lake.

Dala tried to peel her eyes away to scan the crowd. Many of the men watched with open mouths and wide eyes. Some few, she noticed, had to hold themselves up on pillars, their balance forgotten in open awe.

“Hear me now, citizens of ash. With these,” he held up his huge hands, “I have slain two priestesses for their corruption of our ancient faith.”

Even Kunla goggled, and then she smiled. Whatever or whoever he is, Dala thought, feeling her open mouth go dry, he has signed for his own execution. They will kill him the moment he steps down.

Yet her stomach still felt heavy with fear, and her head still light.

The demon kept on as if the trial were not already over, his voice mesmerizing. “And now, fair cousins—on your false prophet’s rock,” he clenched a rune-covered fist and pointed at Kunla, “I will make a Priestess an outlaw using her own corrupt justice.”

Silence. Palpable, unbroken until the lawspeaker spoke. “You have charged Kunla, daughter of Astrid, with two murders. First, Beyla, daughter of Egrit, and second, Ruka, son of Beyla. What evidence do you offer?”

The demon nodded, his thick lips with just a hint of a smile. “None.”

Chatter swept the crowd, though it should have been filled with laughter and insult. Lawspeaker Bodil looked confused, then angry.

“You understand,” she said, “that without evidence, it will be your word—a son of Imler, against a High Priestess of the Galdric Order. That the judges will have almost no choice but to find in her favor?”

“I am a son of Noss. But, yes, I understand.”

Bodil blinked and blinked. “And still you would like to proceed?”

“I would.” The demon stood still, and if it were anyone but this strange, forceful thing, he would surely be pulled off the stone and beaten for wasting the circle’s time.

“Very well,” said the lawspeaker, frizzy hair trembling with rage. Or is it fear? “Defendant, please come to the circle and speak your name and title.”

The crowd seemed swelled, and it took some effort now just to resist the pushing as people surged closer to hear the Priestess speak. Aiden and Caro had their men push back, and Dala at least had a small reprieve.

Kunla walked forward, face a mask of confidence, Caro and his men at her side. They shoved their way through the fools too slow to step away, but a few arm’s lengths away from the inner circle, a dozen men from the crowd stepped out and stood in their path. They wore travel-stained cloaks, which they now threw back to reveal rune-scribed blades and shields like Bukayag’s. They had leather and chain linked iron mail, and their brow’s shone with sweat.

“Caro,” Kunla said, and perhaps only Dala noticed her hesitation. “Remove these outlaws from my path.”

Dala looked and saw Bukayag staring. He hadn’t yet moved from the stone, and once again his voice silenced the crowd.

“Look in my eyes, Caro.” The Chieftain of Hulbron obeyed, perhaps mostly out of surprise. “All your life you’ve trod on honor out of fear. Will you do so again? Will you betray your own soul while the gods watch you die? Or will you face the coming fire…at last…with pride?”

Kunla hissed air in contempt. “Spare us your delusions, heretic.”

The crowd, though, didn’t seem so dismissive, and Caro did not move. Sweat beaded on the man’s temple as the onlookers near him grew restless. His hand tightened on the hilt of his sheathed sword, and to Dala his eyes looked, perhaps, ashamed, and far away, as if in remembrance. Kunla twitched at his side.

“I will do what I must.” His voice was tight and heightened, and long seconds passed as he still didn’t move. He turned on his heel, and nodded to his men. Many reached into their shirts and withdrew silver-sword amulets and looked on Kunla as if for the first time, faces twisting from blankness to undisguised hatred. They followed their chief away from the circle without a word, pushing with stiff violence at anyone who stood in between. They did not look at Dala.

Some pockets of chaos broke out amongst the onlookers, and Lawspeaker Bodil watched it all. “Priestess Kunla,” she shrieked over the crowd, “what is the delay? Approach the circle.”

“I shall be there shortly, Speaker.” Kunla gestured at her chiefless-killers, still miraculously calm. “Clear them.” She stared at the hard, blank face of the Southron leader. “Now.”

He stepped forward with a short-sword drawn, and his men followed and cleared their paths to greater violence by swinging clubs. The leader’s eyes flicked up and down at the dozen men before him. The two lines of warriors stared, both seemingly ready, but they did not come together. One of the rune-sword wielding criminals sheathed his blade and drew a large pouch from his side. He shook it, to the clear sound of clinking.

Bukayag called out again. “Men of the South—we share your gods, and your ways. We have no fight with you. Take this silver, and walk away whole, or I promise few of you will see your children again.”

The crowd gave the barbarians as much berth as possible, despite pushing from behind. The outlaw with the pouch came forward, chin raised without fear, both hands weaponless and on the leather bag to reveal its contents. The chiefless leader leaned forward to look inside. He made a sort-of cluck with his mouth, reached out and lifted the bag, raising and lowering as if judging the weight. Then he jerked his head away from the circle, and sheathed his sword. He turned his back and walked away, his men taking the same path as Caro’s without a word.

Kunla, meanwhile, had turned increasingly brighter shades of red. Some younger men and women in the crowd now stared, and even laughed, but the older faces looked grim. A few, Dala noticed, had begun to flee.

“Can we assist you, Sister?” Juchi did not cower behind her men, though her face was pale and her voice shaky. Dala couldn’t help but feel a stab of pride.

“I would be grateful, Sister.” The High Priestess’ face reduced at least slightly in color. She lowered her head in deference—an unimaginable gesture of respect for someone of her rank to an apprentice, and Juchi puffed up at once. She yelled at her ally chief, whose thick jaw clenched and seemed to grind. He nodded, and his men moved up in good order.

When the lines settled a few paces apart, and the crowd quieted to hear, Bukayag’s voice again mocked the volume around him. “Aiden,” he called. The big man raised his head.

Spittle flew from Kunla’s mouth as she turned and screamed. “Must I clear them myself? Will you just fucking kill them?”

Dala fell a step back from the tone, having never in two years seen her mentor come undone. The big man’s lip curled as if disgusted. His calm eyes squinted and hardened, then he looked away.

The crowd silenced, as if they knew Aiden’s soft voice might struggle to carry. Perhaps they did. “Good morning, Rune-Shaman,” he said, calm returned, as if half the valley of law weren’t watching. He unsheathed a polished sword and tested its sharpness with his thumb.

“You once asked me to give the gods a message, mighty chief. Do you remember it?”

Aiden’s eyes scanned his sword and did not stray. “Yes,” he said, face betraying nothing.

“I told you: you would know the time. Do you see it now, stretching before you, a horizon of fire?”

The big man breathed and closed his eyes. “I see it.” He stepped forward and drew a second sword, both of which were large enough to be wielded alone by a smaller man. His muscles tensed from shoulders to calves as the scabbard rang. He surged ahead, and every man with a sword put an anxious hand to its hilt, the crowd perhaps torn between watching this legend in battle, and fleeing for their lives.

The ‘outlaws’ shifted and braced their feet as if ready for his charge. Then, a few feet from Bukayag’s line, Aiden turned. He stood to face against the priestess, and against his own men.

“I do not tell you what to do,” he said, as if discussing the weather. “But I serve the old gods, and I will kill those that oppose them.”

Dala listened and realized at some point she’d stopped breathing. She looked and saw Juchi’s utter confusion, the horror in the eyes of Aiden’s men, as if the idea of facing their idol was like hacking at their own limbs.

“This man is a criminal,” Kunla screamed to no one in particular, “he is sentenced to death by his own words! He’s a murderer that kills women! Priestesses! You believe he speaks for the gods? He will burn in hellfire for this…blasphemy…as will any who serve him!”

Dala looked at the shrill, travel-stained woman she served, then the demon on the rock.

Obedience and law, or chaos and glory?

She had swayed desperate men nearly the same way as this ‘outlaw’. She knew who Birmun would serve. Even men like Aiden, it seemed—who by all reckoning were among the most rewarded by Galdric servants—even these men could be swayed. And here he was, living proof, sword in hand and ready to die. The Order is doomed, Dala thought, finding no argument, no sense of hope to fight the numbness creeping up her spine, we are all of us doomed.

No one moved. Many warriors in the crowd did not serve Aiden, and anxiety rippled unhidden on their faces.

Kunla pointed towards the judges—the thirty-odd men and women sitting on benches who had as yet done nothing. “Anyone can accuse these traitors of interfering with the law,” she cried, “Is there one with courage amongst you?”

An older man rose at once, almost as if he’d been waiting. His still-healthy frame held dyed and clean clothes; his boots were leather and new, his trimmed hair and beard salted with grey. “It is our solemn duty, Priestess. I will serve.” He left the bench and walked towards the inner ring with measured strides, some applauding him even as he grinned and waved a dismissive hand, as if this were all a show. Some in the crowd shouted insults, nearly all the voices men, but no one tried to stop him.

His blood sprayed several judges. Red spots peppered expensive cloth and open-mouthed faces like paint thrown from a brush. The man toppled into the dirt with a gasp as he clawed at the hilt of a knife jutting from his throat, and his legs thrashed grotesquely.

“Anyone else feeling…dutiful?”

Bukayag drew another blade from his belt, and the circle of law erupted in violence.

33

Plan B, then. Well, sort of C.

Ruka wrapped his hand entirely around the neck of Lawspeaker Bodil. “Decree her absent, and an outlaw.” He squeezed.

“Not,” she gasped for air, “…yet.”

He heard the judges rising, calling out for help and running for more warriors. He’d captured Bodil’s grand-daughters to gain her ‘cooperation’, and it had worked well so far, but the old woman had her limits. She still had some fight.

“You weren’t so patient with a little boy, once.” The image of her apathy and disregard for his life froze solid in his mind, as perfect and fresh as if it were yesterday. He moved his face closer to hers. “Say it, old woman, or I’ll kill you.”

She stared at him, fear fading even as her eyes bulged. She managed to spit out sound with only the faintest trace of air: “Decree…miss…trial.”

Ruka sighed. He lifted her entirely off the ground by her neck, moving his lips close to her ear to whisper. “You must be in the center of the circle, Lawspeaker, or the gods cannot hear you.”

She had her hands on his, eyes wide, tongue lolling, struggling for breath like a fish. He lifted her over the center.

“Perhaps they will hear this.” He closed his fist, and when he felt enough of her throat crush to know she would die, he threw her aside and off the holy rock like a mason’s scrap.

An arrow flew past his shoulder and reminded him he wasn’t wearing armor. The law circle was made of three rings on a hill—the first of benches and judges, the second of huge stones, the third of flat-stone road. Each was perhaps the width of three grown men, and people now filled near every spot of ground. Most were his enemies. A line of his retainers stood before him, others spread amongst the crowd to sew chaos. The judges stood but did little else, cowering in fear. These were old and little threat. But the outer-circle was a maelstrom of blood, screams, and melee. Whatever ‘lines’ there were had mostly vanished, and it was hard even for Ruka to take it all in with comprehension. There are hundreds of warriors spread through Alverel that will come to their aid, he thought. We can’t kill them all.

His eyes found Kunla—the only thing left that mattered. She was running. Ruka threw off his cloak and unstrung his shield and sword, leaping down the stone steps from the rock to try and smash his way through the melee. He angled straight towards Aiden, knowing men would try to keep as far away from him as they could, and the line there would be thin.

“Kunla!” He screamed as he flew down the slope, and the fighters near-by all gaped in panic as he followed his rune-slathered shield in a head-long charge. He felt a few weak weapon dings, then a crunch as it drove through a man’s guard and into his chest and face. The victim flew backwards, crashing against his fellows to lay in a heap.

Ruka saw the men’s eyes running over his skin-runes, his thick, armorless, woundless torso, his god-forged blade. He almost laughed. Prophet, demon of the old world, madman—whatever he was, they wanted no part of it. If he wasn’t thinking about his hands around Kunla’s throat, it might have lightened his mood.

Instead he opened his mouth and screamed in the loudest, most bestial way he could imagine, showing off as many sharp, crooked teeth as he could. Many men hurled themselves back in terror, some lost their balance in animal panic. Ruka’s retainers did not. He might very well be a monster, they no doubt thought, but he was their monster.

They surged forward, steel-forged and bloody swords hacking the limbs of fallen men, battering aside shields, and cutting the shafts and even blades of lesser weapons.

His shield still high, Ruka rushed ahead and into a gap, hacking at any man whose guard was turned to the men in front. He carved half through a neck, an arm, a leg. Blood and screams followed his path before the ragged line of his men.

But more warriors seemed to be coming from the valley, and he knew every step put him further into danger. There’s still too many, I must make them run.

“Blood for the mountain god!,” he cried, and his warriors took up the shout. They pressed and threw the haphazard shield-wall before them further down the hill, frantic to support him, but he did not wait. Shield high and swinging, he hacked and slammed at anything that stood between him and his prize. An axe head caught on the top of his shield, a sword slashed below but missed. Blood spattered his face as a man died beside him from blows he could not see. Tahar sunk his pick through a trapped boy’s skull, screaming for blood and Noss and death at Ruka’s side.

Confusion and terror swept through the valley all around the circle. Some of Aiden’s men were running, wild-eyed, unable to tell friend from foe. Ruka’s men cut through the confusion like a scythe through wheat—any man who did not hold a rune-sword, to them, was an enemy. Some warriors hardly raised their shields—staring at god-forged blades in horror as they were hacked apart. Most ran.

“No mercy!” Ruka called and his warriors chased, the circles of men breaking apart as half the valley raced towards the other. Ruka dropped his heavy shield and sword, he would not need them—his prey was not a warrior. He broke away from the blood-crazed mob he’d created, all the men in it likely doomed.

He knew where Kunla would run—where he had run, those years ago. He stretched his stride to his toes, and veered for the closest stables.

* * *

Dala chased after her mistress, holding up her dress and cursing the stupidity of the thing. She’d stayed long enough only to watch Bukayag strangle Bodil, then she turned and ran and left Juchi in the circle’s violence, her mind useless in a fog of fear.

Half the crowd seemed to be outlaws. Kunla and Dala had to rally a defense—organize men of the valley to put down what could only be called open rebellion.

“Mistress! Wait!” Dala’s panting made it hard to speak, and she couldn’t understand why Kunla ran East. This way had merchants and houses, but few warriors. In the chaos the crowd ran mostly North and West—to the closest camps of visiting chiefs and perhaps the river. Then she saw the stable.

“Just give me a horse! Any horse!” Kunla yelled loud enough to be heard from across the stablegrounds, pulling at the terrified boy sweeping a broom across a hay-covered floor. He froze, staring at Kunla’s shawl.

“Do none of them have saddles?” Kunla looked back the way she’d run again and again. Dala looked and saw nothing. The battle raged far away.

“N-no, but I can…”

“Just give me that one. Quickly!” Kunla pointed at a huge stallion as Dala arrived and the boy came to his senses. He fumbled at the wooden barrier, trying to calm the now agitated, powerful-looking creature. It came out quietly enough, though Kunla pulled violently at its mane when the boy took too long. “Don’t just stand there, fool, help me up!”

Does she mean him or me, Dala wondered? But the stable-boy dropped at once to his hands and knees, and Kunla stepped from him to a stool to the stallion’s high back.

“Mistress,” Dala’s mouth dried up as she realized she was being abandoned. She didn’t know what to say. The world was going mad and her mistress was running.

“If anyone else comes for a horse,” Kunla looked down at Dala, “you will slow them down. Do you understand, Apprentice? You will slow them down!” She turned and pulled at the horse’s ears, kicking at its side as she burst from the entrance bareback and without another word.

Dala nodded, speechless. She watched a High Priestess of the Order flee for her life as the valley of law burned.

She cares nothing for the law, she realized, nothing at all for me, and she never did.

She stood by the stable-boy watching, yellow sun high now above the horizon, bathing her face in warm light. Two years, gone, she thought. Now rebellion and chaos and not mine to control. No less corruption in the Order. I have failed you, Goddess. I was too slow. I have failed.

A loud whistle pierced the calm of the grass field, and Kunla’s horse slowed to a trot. The Galdric sister screamed and slapped and kicked, seemingly to no affect, and then the animal stopped altogether.

Dala looked at the source of the sound as Kunla did. The world was so strangely calm and clear—a late sunny morning with few clouds. The death and mayhem could be imagined as the sounds of a merchant circle going about their day. Though it was so close, from here it could still be ignored and pretended away.

Walking calmly through the grazing field, hands outstretched to rustle the tall grass, was Bukayag. His skin glistened with wet blood, which mixed with the soot on his bald head and the blue symbols on his skin. It’s ink, Dala realized, he’s just written on his flesh instead of a goat’s. He’s walking vellum.

She looked into his golden eyes, and felt herself again lying down in a dark house that was not her home, a little boy crying on her lap as the wolf came forward, pitiless, her breaths as ragged now as they had been then. She could not seem to stop it.

“You have good taste in horses, Kunla, but your riding form is dreadful.” The demon’s voice seemed different now. Just as loud and sure as before, but less dramatic.

Dala’s legs moved her closer of their own accord despite her fear. I have to see.

Her heart sprinted and wouldn’t stop, black dots swirling like flies before her. But I have to watch.

“I’m a High Priestess of Galdra.”

Kunla’s eyes opened wide and frantic. She thrashed at the horse with her legs, her voice amazingly calm.

“I know what you are.”

Bukayag’s long steps brought him ever closer, and he looked unarmed. His hands opened and closed, opened and closed, and Dala thought they were shaking.

“What do you want?” Kunla’s tone sounded nearly the same she’d used with a hundred Southern tribal leaders, but Dala sensed her fear. The giant twitched. He blinked and blinked and looked out at the horizon as if having some sort of attack.

“What…do I want?” He put his hands to his awful face and closed his golden eyes, shuddering with what could have been a laugh, or a sob. “I want a world where love is not a crime, Priestess, a world where children are not doomed to misery because they are different. I want only laws with mercy, and justice, and wisdom. That is what I want.”

Kunla stared, and so did Dala—stared at a blood-stained murderer, a heretic and outlaw, a grotesque demon, and a wolf of Noss. And yet he spoke as if with my words.

“For now, though, Priestess,” the man’s top lip peeled to show sharp, angled teeth, “I will settle for your pink insides in my palm, and your brains on a rock.”

34

Ruka had waited many years for this moment. He wanted to savor Kunla’s fear, but he had to keep her death clean. He ran his hands over the rack in his Grove, knowing no matter what else happened, for the rest of his life, he could torture this woman in his land of the dead. Perhaps that was enough.

She scrambled to get off Sula’s back and run, which brought the annoyed warhorse even closer to shattering her with its hooves, if not for Ruka’s whistle. He pat his nose on the way by and let Kunla get some distance. Better if she struggles, he thought, better if the moment lingers.

But an impatience hurried his steps—a need to end this, and he crossed the space between them with quick strides. He grabbed the back of her dress, ignoring the flailing arms that bounced harmlessly off his chest and cheek, then threw her to the ground.

He dropped his full weight down on top of her, straddling her stomach as she tried to rise.

“I can help you,” she managed, though surely winded. “I can…work with you…from inside the Order! My life is worth more to me than…my loyalty, I promise you.”

He could hardly believe how calm she sounded—as if this were a negotiation, and not a murder. He’d intended to ignore her, put his hand over her nose and mouth until she died. But instead he lowered himself down, his face almost touching hers, just as he had as a scared little boy. “Say my mother isn’t a whore,” he whispered, “say she isn’t a witch.”

Kunla’s eyes went back and forth over his face. Her mouth opened and closed. She was preparing to say it, he could see—preparing herself to mean it, and say or do whatever she had to. But he didn’t want to hear. He wouldn’t hear one more word from this woman’s mouth. He reached down to choke out her life, except his hand…it went to her hair. It yanked, and a clump came with it attached to a flap of scalp. She screamed.

Ruka looked at his hands but they didn’t obey. “No, no, no, we need her whole!” He cried out in horror in his Grove as his body reached out and took hold of her ear, then tore it off.

“Eat it,” said his mouth, teeth clenched and hissing air so it hardly sounded like him. The woman was crying and kicking and trying to twist away. His hand went down to her mouth to open it. “Eat it!” his mouth screamed, and his hand gripped so tightly that Kunla’s jaw came out of place. “Eat it!” he screamed again, wrenching away with his thumb on her teeth, jaw bone coming apart in his hand. Her eyes splayed in shock and horror, and he couldn’t stand to look at her. His fist came down into the priestess’ face, shattering the cheek and eye, then again, and again, and again. “No, stop it! Stop it!” he screamed in his Grove. You’re ruining everything!

The woman’s limbs twitched and shook, and Ruka’s body pounded at shattered bone and the swampy pool of blood and gore that used to be Kunla’s head, as if his fists were clubs. In his Grove, he sunk down and held his knees and rocked on his bear-skins. He tried to hum a tune his mother used to sound when he was a child, except it came out his lips like a scream. Dead men and boys stood all around him, all mangled from Ruka’s hand, staring. “Stop it!” he shouted. “Get away from me!”

Memories of their deaths returned in perfect detail, flashing one after another before his eyes as his body dismantled the flesh of the corpse that used to be Kunla. He couldn’t explain the strength, the fury, it was almost impossible—monstrous. He was pulling off Kunla’s arms and breaking apart her chest with his bare hands, ripping off clothes and throwing organs in different directions. He could taste blood in its mouth, but he didn’t know if it was hers or his. His throat hurt—it must have been screaming, and he did his best just to stop from breathing in the scents of butchery. He tried to tell his body to get up and walk away, to leave this place and never come back, but it wouldn’t obey.

It seemed to go on and on and though Ruka could stop and count the equally timed moments from this till his birth, he lost all sense of time. His body sat motionless, staring off into the distance.

“What is left?” it said out loud, presumably to him. He wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe I shouldn’t acknowledge it all, he thought. I didn’t speak. So who did?

There are many more priestesses, he tried ‘thinking’ to it.

It shrugged its shoulders. My shoulders? Didn’t matter, it was right. What would more dead priestesses accomplish? There was nothing to replace the Order with. There is no point, he thought. I would spread death and misery and in the end this land of ash would still be a harsh, frozen wasteland filled with suffering and ignorance and never enough food or warmth. None of that is the Order’s fault.

Together he and his body heard men coming up from behind. “Perhaps it’s better to die now,” his lips whispered. And he couldn’t think of disagreement. Yes, perhaps it is.

He heard the slow slide of metal and scabbard—the hurried footsteps of a man coming forward to kill. His body closed its eyes, and he hugged himself in his Grove. I’m sorry, Mother, but it’s too hard. The world is not worth changing.

He imagined the path of the steel—killing a man was much easier from behind—it would slip past the hard bone of his spine, puncture his heart and push on till it stopped or broke through ribs. It will be quick, he thought, only the best and bravest will approach a monster like me and strike.

He realized in the story later, in the legend of Bukayag that would no doubt be whispered around hearthfires, it would be this killer as the hero. And what will I be, Mother? What will I be in your book?

Imler had already claimed ‘the betrayer’, perhaps he would be ‘the bloody’, perhaps he would be ‘the beast’.

“Stop!”

A woman’s voice. Ruka opened his eyes as the footsteps ceased. His body turned to look, if only out of curiosity, and saw a half dozen bloody warriors had followed him. All but one hung back and stared at the ruin of Kunla as if too afraid to approach. The would-be slayer was young, not handsome, his eyes unsure. He’s no great hero, Ruka almost sneered, he’s just another wastrel looking for fame and glory but too afraid to seize it. One feminine word of command had frozez his ardor, and he looked back just as Ruka did.

Another priestess stood for all to see in the open field. Where did she come from, Ruka wondered? As if it matters.

Still he felt surprised as he once had by triplets surrounded by apple trees. He’d been so focused, perhaps, that he had not seen her. Her hair was pale and beautiful, almost like Beyla’s, her features fine and sharp, her eyes green. She looked thin but womanly with curves her dress did not flaunt. A vicious scar stood out on her cheek, and it flashed and molded in Ruka’s mind over a discolored glob of flesh. He searched his memory for the face of every woman he’d ever seen, waiting as the images showed a farmhouse.

“You will put him on the horse. Now.”

The young man in front twitched, hand shakily gripping the pommel of his cheap, flimsy sword. It might have snapped, Ruka decided as he inspected it, or the terrified fool might have flubbed the stab and opened my guts instead. The thought of dying to a frightened child made him stand.

“Ride,” said the priestess, “leave this place and remember Dala, daughter of Cara, let you walk away whole. Remember that you lived by my word.”

She stepped forward to take the would-be killer’s arm and lower his weapon. Ruka felt the urge to disobey out of principle, but Sula snorted, impatient. Despite his screaming, bloody, savage murder of Kunla, the animal hadn’t fled. He just munched grass looking bored.

Ruka stepped away and found his horse’s mane. He glanced at the warriors then leapt with one leg high, flipping upright on Sula’s back as he’d done a thousand times.

“Why?”

He stared at the priestess, whose face blurred and teased at the image of a deformed, younger girl in a shack full of dead orphans.

“We serve the same God, you and I. One day you will see.”

Ruka stared, surprised again—a thing he rarely experienced. Is she mad, he wondered, am I?

He tried and failed to imagine a world he didn’t think best to destroy, and what he would say to the god that created it. He conjured his mother’s empty words about divinity, the one ignorance of an otherwise brilliant, fearless woman.

“Somehow,” he said, losing interest, “I doubt that.”

Then he clicked his tongue, and Sula showed the warriors the folly of trying to chase him, stomping up to a speed most of its brethren could only imagine, sprinting down the flat field avoiding rocks, clearly just pleased to be doing something.

“Where are we going?” Ruka’s body yelled into the rush of air, and he smiled in his Grove. He forced his eyes up towards the sky, seeing clouds and birds roll and soar from the North, all in the same direction, flowing in a current men didn’t understand and so ignored.

North, he thought to it, laughing at the thought of his fleeing Alverel for the second time. We go North and away from this awful place. We follow the birds.

35

Ruka rode Sula as hard as he dared, keeping a fast pace even when he dismounted. He’d never seen the North coast and the urge to do so now was some irresistible draw he didn’t understand, and didn’t try to.

At some point he stopped to drink from Bray’s river. Galdra’s book said it never froze and ran to the sea, and for once he hoped the book was true and meant to follow it there. He shivered and scrubbed at the blood and dye covering his skin, neither coming off very well, then considered his total lack of supplies and half-naked body.

“There will be settlements and farms all throughout the peninsula, we can take what we need.”

His body still spoke as it pleased and out of turn, and he stared at the murky reflection of it in the calmish water.

We aren’t killing anyone unless we have to, Ruka thought to it, do you understand?

“I understand.”

Ruka watched its face. My face? And he wasn’t so sure. As they washed and moved on, he dismantled the torture chamber in his Grove, which had only been for Kunla, and there was no point in making her a grave now.

What would she look like, he wondered, if we did?

‘Boy from the Stables in Alverel’ watched him take it apart and looked disappointed—his mangled jaw swinging back and forth.

“I know you worked hard on this,” Ruka told him, piling the wood for later use. “I’m sorry, but it’s for the best—we don’t need it now.” The boy’s shoulders slumped and he kicked dirt as he stomped off in a huff, and Ruka thought well who cares, you’re dead, but if he was honest still felt shame.

He marched North and downhill along the river, and his legs soon ached from the constant strain of holding back his weight. Darkness fell by the time it leveled off—the hills and mountains giving way to flat, fertile plains and endless fields, and Ruka hoped he’d get far enough to witness the sea on both sides of the peninsula.

Most crops here were wheat, and Ruka ran his hands through it as he walked, his eyes closed, the sun on his bare chest, the soft tickling and scratching so pleasant on his callused skin.

He knew that more men died for these lands than anything else on earth. Canals buttressed with dirt and stone walls were dug along the river and likely the coasts to prevent flooding, but otherwise not even roads were built—not an inch of space wasted except for tiny dirt paths. Men called it the ‘Fertile Ring’, though by all accounts it was shaped more like a half-moon with spear-like jut on one end; they said the Sun-God Volus looked here only after the mountain, and that his gaze lingered longer and more intensely than all other lands, for it was where Zisa was born.

Nonsense, of course, but regardless the food it grew fed half the world, maybe more, and the chiefs that protected it cycled almost yearly to prevent greed and bloodshed. Or so the priestesses say, Ruka reminded himself.

He expected and found no villages here, but many farms, and chose one at last that seemed more isolated than the rest.

The wood-roofed homestead raised above the horizon, its foundation built on a hill, yard made of mostly dirt and grass. A few sheds surrounded the base, perhaps for chickens and pigs, but small enough they would be just for the family and not for trade.

Ruka used the largest barn to hide his approach, leaving Sula in the field while he crept along the edge listening. The house was fine and large, and Ruka saw children playing with sticks on the steps cut on its front. Three boys—certainly less than ten winters, looked like triplets. Blessed by the gods, Ruka thought, without respect, humor, or piety.

His first plan involved stealth and hadn’t formed completely, but now it vanished with the boys. He returned for Sula, then rode along the thin trail that led to the house at a walk and in plain view.

The triplets stopped and watched him, then fled inside shouting, and an older man and a teen came out with axes and stood at the end of the road. Like the children, they were plump with healthy fatness, cheeks flushed with strong, rich blood.

Ruka made no attempt to look peaceful. He kept his hands on Sula’s reins, crushing some of the wheat as he strayed from the path.

The man held up one hand in a gesture to stop, the axe held firmly in his other, redness stretching across his brow in a flood of fear to wide, jittery eyes.

“You’re welcome, Stranger. But first tell me your name, and your chief.”

The gentle tone surprised him, and Ruka considered a simple lie. He knew much about the chiefs and could pick a name and craft some story of ambush or flight. Or he could demand what he needed by authority of the gods—the word of a Rune-Shaman, and though Northerners rarely believed such things perhaps it would suffice. But as his mind moved to create some story, he couldn’t stop looking at the round, hale faces of the well-dressed children, the older but still attractive woman watching from the window, the house that was made more of stone than wood, though this place was warmer than anywhere Ruka had been in his life.

Politeness became revolting. The ‘request’ of a name, or just the effort of a lie, became too much. You people have everything, Ruka thought, feeling a coldness he tried and failed to quell as he threw his leg over Sula’s back and sprung to the ground. You won’t have my name, nor my indulgence. You won’t have a single thing from me.

“I need food, clothing, and shelter,” he said, his tone harsh. “And a place for my horse.”

The older boy, who was perhaps Ruka’s age, looked at his father, and eight eyes from the house did, too. The man’s fear leaked down his temple.

“It’s clear,” he swallowed, “it’s clear you’re unarmed. I can’t let you in the house, but…my children will bring you supplies, if you wait here.”

Again Ruka felt struck by the reasonableness. The generosity, even. Here stood a decent man, wary of danger and understandably so. Only the gods knew what Ruka looked like to these people. They probably hadn’t even noticed the birthmark or the disfigurement overtop of the smudged runes, the blood-stained pants, the warhorse—overtop of Ruka’s sheer size.

He was clearly an outlaw, or a chiefless bandit, and no doubt beyond dangerous. No honorable, law-abiding man would let him in.

But none of that made Ruka sympathize. None of it took away the thing in his chest that consumed shame and everything else like a hot fire or a monster from the Book of Galdra while he thought of their simple, care-free lives filled with love and plenty.

“You will take your family and stay in the barn with my horse, and in the morning things will return to normal.”

No one in the family moved, so he said more slowly, and with more menace, without even the hint of a lie. “Or, if you wish, I will take away your blunt, wood-chopping axes, and I will kill you with them. Now, choose. Quickly.”

He suffered the gasps, the covering of the matron’s mouth with her hand, the hiding of the children’s faces as they tried to comprehend disruption to their perfect world and the prospect of sleeping in a barn—a barn which looked as warm and comfortable as Ruka’s childhood home.

The older boy’s eyes narrowed as he gripped his axe tighter. Ruka felt the urge to rip them out and feed them to the family’s dogs, patience ending as he came forward, all the while watching the farmer. He took the last few strides with speed and wrapped his hand around the boy’s handle, holding it in place while he stared. The boy tugged uselessly.

“Let go, Eyvin.” The older man’s grip slackened, the fight drained entirely out of him. His son looked from Ruka to his father, as if the axe weren’t already lost entirely, then walked away as if he’d lost a game.

The farmer waited as his family gathered some things in mostly silence, then crossed the yard staring at the dirt. Ruka didn’t clean his boots as he went in the house. He sat in their kitchen eating a half-made supper of pork and potatoes, staring out the windows his mother’s house never had.

“You should have had the woman stay,” his body said out loud between bites. “I’ve never been with a woman.”

Ruka shivered with disgust. Her mate and children are just outside, and her hair is the same color as our Mother’s.

“Yes,” said his body, as if this were the appeal.

Ruka jerked forward in his chair and forced his hand out to pick up a knife. If you try it, I’ll stop you. He didn’t bother saying how.

His body silenced and the moment passed. When he’d finished eating, Ruka looked around the house noting washed and dusted floorboards, sturdy chests and shelves, tables and high-backed chairs. Then he lay down on the parent’s bed, which was in a small room on its own, noting the blankets and furs were supported by some kind of square wooden structure that raised them off the floor. He considered this, and many other things, for future changes to the house in his Grove.

It wasn’t fair that these people had so much and others had so little, but that was no reason to ignore improvements. He drew the layout on vellum at a table in his mind, studying the images for hours as his body sunk further and further into the soft, warm bedding.

For the first time in years, Ruka closed his eyes, and slept.

* * *

Morning came like a nightmare. Ruka woke with a start, body slick with sweat, stumbling out of bed. He dashed through the kitchen and out to the yard, his heart hammering as he shifted between running and walking, muttering please, no, please in his mind.

The large barn door sealed its entrance, and Ruka gripped the metal handle, throwing it aside much harder than he’d intended. It slammed open against the wall, bashing into the wood with a crash that shook out dust everywhere, which fluttered in the light that flooded in.

“Where are you?” he almost screamed, almost begged, then blinked his eyes, always somehow accustom to the dark. He found the family huddled in a corner. Their make-shift bed of hay and blankets looked comfortable; their arms were spread out holding each other in frozen poses of fear, or perhaps love.

Ruka fell to his knees and wept into his hands, unable to stand or rise. He watched the dirt and dry blood on his fingers darken with wetness, knowing his tears were weak, and unmanly, yet he couldn’t stop them.

“Are…are you alright?” The farmer pressed himself against the wall and spoke in little more than a whisper. Ruka tried to pull himself together.

He’d had a dream—he’d walked out into the barn. There, he’d beaten the man and his children near to death with his fists, and then taken the woman, right beside them, as Imler took Zisa on the mountain of all things. Here in the real world, though, they were fine. They were alive and unharmed. It was just a dream.

“Yes,” he said, wiping his face with his wrist. “You can return to your home now.”

He beckoned for Sula and pulled himself up with its mane, feeling the family’s terrified eyes on his back. He took a cloak, shirt, water, wine, a day’s worth of food from the house, and left quickly, thinking of Egil and his other men for the first time since the day before.

They may all very well be dead, he thought. But if I build them graves, will they come to my Grove? Am I not the cause of their deaths?

He thought perhaps some had escaped, but it made little difference now.

Ruka rode through the fields avoiding farms, and ordered his mind to give them no more thought. He traveled all morning and most of the day, and soon with every rise and hill the air became saltier, and warmer.

In his mind he judged the distance and speed of Sula’s travel and added the area to a flattened image of the Ascom he stored in his Grove. In his travels now he’d seen the outline of the steppes and the major forests of the world. He’d seen the greatest mountains and some of the coast, and by his estimates he had learned the North was smaller than men said—only a small portion of the world compared to the frozen South, though perhaps it held more people.

Just as he felt from the time and speed he’d traveled that the coast should be near, he heard strange, disjointed noises in the distance, and after one last small hill and a clump of cedars rising to greet him at its crest, he saw the sea.

Docks, buildings, people and animals stretched out in an unending line along its edge. Heavy crates bundled and slid in nets or rolled along land-rafts of logs, cluttering every patch of ground. Square rocks in a field of sand, he thought—the best this world has to offer.

The smell of fish mingled with the salt and made Ruka’s stomach growl. He looked to the sky and saw a small flock of birds flying in from the sea, and everything else was forgotten. Where did you go, little things? Did you fly with the gods?

He led Sula down to a dock with boats tied to wooden beams, hoping for an older man that looked less busy. He found one cleaning and gutting fish, toothless mouth curled around a pipe, milky eyes staring out at the horizon as he slopped guts into pails.

Ruka stood before him and blocked the sun, and the old sailor angled his dark brown head this way and that trying to make out the stranger before him. Ruka offered his wine-skin, and the old man soon told him about a lifetime at sea, about the different kinds of boats, and the furthest men ever sailed.

“Where do the birds go?” Ruka asked, and the man shrugged his skinny shoulders.

“T’eat fish, I s’pose.” He smiled widely with mostly gums, and Ruka soon thanked him and went on his way.

He walked down the filthy beach avoiding trash, watching the sailors enter and exit the shore. He watched the men set their sails and take them down, stow their gear, use their anchors, and wave their oars. He sat and watched for hours and minded everything, reviewing it by memory even as his eyes kept scanning.

When he was ready he sought out a well-stocked, but smaller boat—the kind his new friend said was for merchants and long voyages down the coast, and the one he found looked old, but good enough. It had a fish-head carved on one end, a hammer carved on the other, and a lone man stood in its swaying hull, seeming to tie down supplies and prepare for a journey, probably the next morning.

“How many men does it take to sail this ship?” Ruka asked with no other greeting. The middle-aged man, as browned from the sun as all the others here, turned and squinted like he was trying to understand what he looked at. He took in the giant warhorse, then the equally giant and unusual man.

“It’s…well, it’s a boat, not a ship,” he said, as if this was the most alarming thing about the interruption. “Only a few men to sail it.” He shrugged and went back to his work. “But twenty and four can row, and you’d want one or two to bail in rougher weather.”

Ruka nodded, examining the mast. “But two could manage, if they knew what they were doing?”

The sailor huffed and shook his head, the strangeness of the exchange seeming to wear at him. “Aye, for awhile I s’pose.”

“And you know what you’re doing?”

The burnt, balding head snapped up. “Course I do.” He shuffled the tooth-pick in his mouth. “I been a sailor fifteen years. Now who the hell…”

Ruka walked over the gangplank and boarded the ‘boat’. The man straightened and raised a finger as if to jab out in protest, but Ruka grabbed him and covered his mouth, pulling them both down to the deck—hopefully out of sight.

He held him still and cut off his air, watching his wide eyes as he kicked and struggled and eventually passed out. Ruka took one of the many near-by ropes and bound him, including a loop around his head and mouth.

He scanned the supplies, though he didn’t really know what to look for. I should have asked first, he decided, but knew regret was pointless and so threw the thought away. Everything seemed to be in unmarked chests or barrels, no telling what was what. But it hardly mattered—he had no time to make changes, and some certainly held supplies.

Just as the sailors had done, Ruka untied and unfurled the square sail. He attached the dozen support ropes all along the sides and one on each end, fumbling with his unskilled hands at the knots, but knowing from watching how they were done. He cast off the last rope binding them to the shore and used an oar to push them out, grinning as the boat separated entirely from land.

The wind, he knew, from watching the birds fight and struggle south against it, was in his favor. The wool sail caught the breeze and snapped taut like a bowstring, leather and wood bindings straining to hold the shape. Sula stood watching calmly from shore, as if this were the most normal thing in the world, and Ruka resisted the urge to wave goodbye.

A strange sort of thrill took him as the pull carried them further out and away from the oblivious people in their own worlds on the docks. The sleek hull cut through the water, easily dragging the boat through the weak waves.

Ruka smiled and stood facing the onrush of air, hearing the words passed from father and mother to daughter and son for untold generations. “The land of ash is a ring,” they would say, “too far North or South, and you fall off its edge. The world is a ring.”

He read the words in the Book of Galdra—words that promised god’s wrath for treading in their waters. ‘Punishment’, they said, for venturing out beyond the bounds of man and his frozen, cruel, gilded cage. They’re wrong, he thought, they’re wrong about this and so many things. They must be.

“Face me, cowards!” he cried to the open waters when he lost sight of land. “What more must I do!”

They made no reply. He looked back eventually to see the captured merchant goggling at him, deciding in a little while he’d give him a choice: ‘Teach me how to sail’, he’d say, ‘help me find the Gods of the North. Or, if you prefer, you can drown’.

He meant this earnestly and without malice, hoping the man chose life, but knowing it made little difference in the end.

“Show me,” he whispered to the creatures flying in great flocks over his head. “Show me the edge of the world, little cousins, show me where you’ve been.”

His body watched the horizon, hands on the rudder as it steered to follow. Ruka let it keep its watch while he went to his Grove. He had the dead help chop down trees to make masts, and if he survived long enough, he’d make a whole new ship, plank by plank, just to see how it worked.

The dead would need to make rope and nails and pitch and a hundred other things, and he hoped he could find water somewhere in his Grove and summon false wind to test it all. He’d been so busy with his purpose he’d never truly explored the imaginary forest in his mind—never tested the boundaries of the land of the dead, as he now tested the boundaries of the living.

And surely, he thought, watching the birds float, effortless and light while his ship lumbered and dragged, these sails could be improved.

36

Ellevi, daughter of Aslau, ate first. The First Mothers of Orhus and their families, the chiefs, and the highest ranking sisters in the capital watched and waited respectfully.

“Please,” Ellevi gestured, after an appropriate pause, and the Galdric apprentices scurried through the table aisles pouring from silver jugs into silver cups. The eldest women raised them and cried ‘Zise!’, which meant ‘health’, but Ellevi knew was perhaps just the name of Seef in the old tongue, and drank down distilled potato-wine.

It was the Ritual of Re-birth—the festival of the mountain, which the Order held and celebrated on the first day of spring as the men and women of ash had since time immemorial. This year it was late, of course, and certainly not the first day of spring as judged by the sun. But none in the room really cared.

“For the Goddess,” Ellevi said matter of factly, waving at the butcher to proceed, and the low-born but well-paid knife-expert slashed his blade across the anointed sheep, catching most of the blood in a tray for later.

“For the Goddess,” cried the men alone, since death and destruction was reserved for them, and the chief whose sheep it was beamed with appropriate pride.

The others banged their cups in recognition, and though the men gathered here were rivals, their voices and laughter filled the hall with boasts of their sons, retainers, matrons and deeds. There would be no duels tonight. Thank the gods.

By tradition a man at spring festival should sleep in his own bed, by his own hearth, or have a whole year of bad luck, so the drinking would be reasonable.

It was also the most fertile time of the year. Twins were all but assured, even triplets common, so by custom and pragmatism the freshly blooded matrons would hold off taking mates, or if already mated than sleep alone for a few days or even weeks to prepare. Now at the feast the old women would jest and make bawdy talk, and the young, red-faced matrons would try to sneak home with their Chosen before the sun went down, hoping to find God’s favor.

For both reasons the men were in fine spirits. Most Chosen would be shy in the presence of so many high-born matrons and priestesses, but these were the greatest chiefs in the world.

Even the least had enough retainers to ring rich farmland with spears and demand tribute. They could, if they wished and if they went unopposed, kill a land-owners workers, her male kin, her mate—and could stay till she paid them off or Chose their leader. Traditionally the attackers would come to live on the land and stake their claim, possessing all its resources in practice, though they officially ‘owned’ nothing. Only the law prevented this, but laws could be bent.

Every day of the year the men now in Galdra’s hall fought like wild dogs, or prepared to fight. Every day they sniffed at each other, testing, always testing, for weakness or treachery, or simple opportunity, ready to risk their lives or the lives of their followers for more glory, more influence, and therefore more respect and attention from the world’s matrons, and more reward in the afterlife.

“Matriarch.”

Chief Balder paid homage to Ellevi first. He lowered his huge frame to bow at the shoulders, swollen gut squishing out his tunic, dark hair falling around his face. “Your niece is heavy with child, but sends her regards. She says she will welcome new children by next moon if you would like to visit and offer a blessing.”

Balder was Ellevi’s niece’s mate and one of perhaps ten chiefs whose names she knew, though she didn’t use it out of policy. She smiled and dipped her head in recognition. “Great chief, my thanks. May God keep you and bring you glory. Tell my niece I would be honored to visit on the new moon.”

The big man bowed again and turned away, putting a wineskin to his lips and drinking deep even before he sat. This could be considered rude, but was meant only as boldness and to be seen by his rivals. Ellevi said nothing and acted as if she hadn’t noticed—aggression in men was no threat to her.

A dozen lesser warriors came next, almost in order of importance, and Ellevi wondered if they’d planned it or if such natural hierarchy was simply their way. Nearly a decade of ruling them, and still they confound me.

She smiled at the thought and watched the thrill of the minor chief she happened to be blessing, reminding herself to be cautious at all times with her gestures.

Next came all the younger matrons of Orhus’ first families. Some were here with mates and already pregnant, others single and watching prospective men, or watching rivals. They cooed and fawned over Ellevi’s rings, her dress, her hair—though she was long past beauty and wore the clothes of her station—mentioning relatives or children or their plans for the future before receiving their blessing.

The older women tried less, and mostly spoke of their harvests or support. The elders knew this for the ritual it was and didn’t bother playing politics.

Valdaya, daughter of Valda, of course, came last. Her thin, white hair lay like greasy rope over a wrinkled scalp, and she leaned heavily on her cane as her favorite grand-daughter brought her forward. Most of the room’s eyes followed.

She and her daughters and sisters owned the greatest strips of land from the North Sea to the mountain. They were Vishan, of course—royal blood from the line of demi-gods—and they lured great men with their name, with their horses and arms, and with their silver. Hundreds of warriors lived with their families on Valan land, and so any chief who won their favor won hundreds of sworn swords without lifting a finger. The daughters of Valan shared at least twenty important chiefs, swapping as many mates and children and houses between them as common women swapped clothes.

“Forgive me, cousin, if I do not bow.”

Valdaya nodded her head brusquely and didn’t bother saying ‘because of my back,’ which was likely a lie regardless.

“Of course, child. May the Goddess bless you and your family.” Ellevi stressed the word ‘child’ with pleasure. She didn’t often use the term her title afforded her, but she was only a few years younger, and considerably healthier.

“My kin have been sowing land and wombs for weeks, cousin. Your blessing is a little late.”

The pretty girl holding her grand-mother’s arm found an interesting floorboard to stare at, and Ellevi smiled to hide her anger, respecting and hating the woman’s boldness in equal measure.

“I will pray the goddess forgives their impatience.”

“Pray for rain, cousin, if you pray at all.”

Valdaya only blinked instead of nodded, then pointed her stick to direct her escort back to her table. Ellevi breathed. Had they been in ear-shot of others beside the grand-daughter she would have had to answer that and gone further. But alone she would let it pass.

For a distraction she waved at her attendants to begin the ritual of cleansing, and they dumped peat into the hearthstone. Smoke rose up at once in grey gouts while the guests ignored it except to cough and lower their heads. None of the men even paused for a moment of respect, and few of their women corrected them.

By now of course Ellevi was accustom to their lack of piety. In truth she didn’t much care what they believed, or even how they behaved or spoke in the privacy of their homes. But in public—especially here in a holy place surrounded by servants and lesser priestesses, she expected devotion.

In fact she expected flagrant displays of religious fervor, obedience to ritual and custom, and some bloody respect for the Order and its positions. When she received those things she was pleased to be still, and patient—pleased to let the terrestrial servants of Nanot administer Her lands in relative peace, and with their own discretion. But like pigs left alone in their pen, the ruling class of Orhus grew predictably filthier daily, reveling in their own muck with ever bolder, unrestrained glee, until their stink polluted everything. They required the occasional wash.

“Talia, come to me child.”

Ellevi gestured for Valdaya’s grand-daughter as one might to an infant. The girl looked to her elder, who chewed her specially prepared boiled oats and narrowed her eyes but nodded, and Talia rose and smiled sweetly as she approached.

“How old are you, child? You must be eighteen!”

Talia giggled nervously and said, “No Mistress, only thirteen winters,” and Ellevi balked and turned her this way and that as if she couldn’t believe, then made her expression stern and serious.

“You have a look about you, child. I see a greatness in your future.”

The girl’s face reddened, but she bowed and muttered, “Thank you, Mistress, you honor me.”

“Yes, a greatness. You will be a priestess.”

She said this part louder, loud enough for the near-by tables to hear, and the girl blinked and gaped in confusion. The old crone who’d of course been listening turned red as she understood, her eyes bulging as her hands squeezed on the table.

“Bring the blessing.” Ellevi waved at her attendants, and they brought the silver tray filled with sheep’s blood, walking with all due solemnity as they covered their heads with their shawls so as to be hidden, nameless, and faceless servants of the prophet. At last the city’s elite paid attention.

The girl’s pale skin had gone white as wool—a stark contrast to the bright red blood that was now poured over her hair, streaking down her face and shoulders to drip and pool at her feet. The hall was silent, and the girl shook.

Then she gagged and coughed, and finally vomited, perhaps at the shock of having her future stolen in an instant—all hope of love or children gone at an otherwise happy event—or perhaps just from the smell. In any case, Ellevi smiled.

“Take her to her sisters,” she said, as if in sympathy for the girl’s discomfort and shame, and the attendants shuffled her away, still in shock. Ellevi stood without the use of a cane.

“Join me,” she announced to the room, “join me in welcoming a new daughter of the Galdric Order. May God bless this gathering, and the continued glory and devotion of the line of Valan!”

Ellevi raised her toast to her enemy and stared, polite applause filling the hall, goblets banging tamely on wooden tables. The other women smiled with frozen faces and careful eyes, and the men looked confused or grinned, some no doubt aware and enjoying the display of women’s war, feeling themselves apart and safe.

Valdaya only stared, and chewed, her one milky eye blinking.

I have nothing for you to take, Ellevi promised with her look. You could play little games with your harvests and try to starve the city, but if you do I’ll claim more women from your line, and give their chiefs to other matrons, and cut your precious power in half.

The contest went on and on, and unlike with men, Ellevi knew a strong matron’s aggression had to be challenged at once and directly. You are mighty in this world, cousin, she thought, but I am the voice of God, and you will obey.

Time stretched until even older women looked away, the clapping tapering off and rising again, and Ellevi feared pride would triumph over reason.

At last Valdaya bowed her head. She drank potato-wine and chewed her oats in silence, and the hall went back to laughter and the bragging voices of happy chiefs.

The drinking went on as the sun drooped and turned day to night in Orhus, and Ellevi finally felt her shoulders relax as the matrons bowed their heads in unison before each new course. The low-born butcher had pulled off the sheep’s hide and chopped off its hooves, leaving the skin like a blanket to work on as he hacked and separated. He used a funnel to clean the intestines, then coiled and tied it like rope before emptying the grass-filled stomach and re-filling it with blood. Next to him his son seasoned and placed the organs in iron pans, or submerged them in briny water, melting fat in a large tub he’d later slather over everything.

The butchery remained ceremonial, of course. With so many guests the sisters had dozens of cooks working in the kitchens attached, and most of the food had been prepared hours before— including both salty and sweet milk courses, which waited in the cellars so as not to spoil. All of this, though—all the animals, flour, salt, milk, butter and workers—had been gifted by the matrons in the room. The Order itself owned nothing. Only those with nothing to lose have nothing to fear, she quoted the book in her mind. This and other such brilliance from the prophet freed Galdra’s daughters like no other living creature. It let them focus on what truly mattered.

“Mistress. The Arbman is outside—he says there’s a priestess who would like to see you.” The hand-maiden leaned in. “He says they have some men with them, and they’re spattered with blood.”

An ‘Arb-man’ was a scout and messenger working for the Order. Like many things, ‘Arb’ was simply the word for scout in the old tongue, long forgotten by most, including many of the sisters. But Ellevi enjoyed their ignorance.

After the near-crisis with Valdaya, a few bloody men hardly caused a stomach-flutter, but she knew she wouldn’t have been disturbed if it wasn’t something reasonably serious. A memory flashed of the first few night-killings from two years before—the interruption of her morning prayers to say there’d been another night of murders. She tried to put that from her mind.

All together, ‘the troubles’, as it was now called, had been the worst threat to peace in a generation. They’d eventually sent warriors on nightly patrols, arrested homeless and set out bounties on half a hundred known bandits. They had held a public funeral for the women, and Ellevi raged at the pulpit before the gathered chiefs, reminding them of Imler and his crimes, his erasure from the book of deeds, and his punishment in hell. She’d lectured on the price of chaos and the necessity of law. And though she’d never known who was responsible, or what exactly the conflict was about, after her lecture the violence had ceased. There hadn’t been more masked murders since the unholy terror in the House of Thyra, but still, bad blood remained.

“Tell them I’ll meet them outside in a little while.”

“Yes, Mistress.” The woman backed away with her shawl down and walked to the entrance.

Violence on Spring Festival day was not strictly blasphemy, but close, and Ellevi needed a moment to consider. Simple opportunism seemed possible. Some lesser man could have struck while his betters celebrated. But more likely one of the chiefs in the room had given trusted retainers their orders to raid an enemy’s land or ship or caravan and wanted to be able to say ‘it couldn’t have been me, I was at the feast!’

Ellevi chewed a stringy piece of cartilage, eyes out of focus, lost in her thoughts of ambitious matrons and reckless warriors when she heard raised voices at the doorway. She ignored them. Then she heard movement across the floor but didn’t bother to look. Only when mud spattered across clean floorboards did she startle, following the source to a woman’s grungy boots, up to an apprentice’s dirt-smeared dress and unranked shawl, then to the pretty, scarred face of a young woman with wind-blown hair. She stunk like blood and horse.

“What is the meaning of this?”

The hall had quieted at the intrusion, but at Ellevi’s tone it silenced. The young woman was flanked by blood-stained warriors who looked meekly about the hall, as if as surprised as anyone to be standing here before the Matriarch. But the girl with muddy boots looked calm and sure.

“Mistress. My name is Dala. I was apprentice to Kunla, High Priestess of…”

“I don’t care who you are.” Ellevi blinked and felt her face flush. Whatever this nonsense was, she’d put an end to it. Unbelievably, the girl spoke over her.

“Mistress there is rebellion in the South. High Priestess Kunla and the Lawspeaker herself are slain.”

Ellevi swallowed the impulse to stand and rage because control was important, and the girl’s words surprised her. It would be best to diffuse this and discuss in private.

“Child, someone is playing a disgusting trick on you. Lawspeaker Bodil has only very recently written to…”

The girl reached into her soiled hemp bag, and damp chunks of red flesh slopped to the floor. Ellevi stared. She recognized the severed head of Lawspeaker Bodil, which seemed to stare right back at her with sunken eyes, mouth open and gaping, neck purple and crushed above the cut.

“I watched her die,” said Dala, “I watched Bukayag crush her throat on the holy rock, and then kill High Priestess Kunla with his bare hands. But there wasn’t enough left of her to recognize.”

Women covered their mouths in horror at the words, though, it seemed to Ellevi, Valdaya smiled.

“Blasphemy, then. A terrible tragedy for which the murderer will burn in the mountain for all eternity. But only the crimes of a wild dog and his pack of mutts, it is not rebellion.”

She waited and the girl didn’t budge or flinch. Indeed she looked as if she wished to speak again, but at last wisely held her tongue. Good, learn your place or by God I’ll give you to the foulest, lowest servant of the Order as chattel.

“Enforcing the law is not the Order’s responsibility. We interpret, we create.” Ellevi shifted in her chair and paused. “Elections are in less than two weeks, at which time we will appoint a new Lawspeaker and High Priestess of the South. We will send word to the valley chieftains to apprehend this outlaw…”

“These valley chiefs?” Dala turned her bag over and more blood and flesh slopped to the wood, one bouncing grotesquely off of Bodil and rolling to a stop. “Bukayag’s men killed them in battle and scattered their warriors. We fled Alverel in chaos. For all I know it’s been overrun entirely.”

“You will listen when your elders speak!”

Ellevi rose in disbelief, furious at the second disruption, and disturbed by the blood and the sounds of this filth. She regretted the outburst instantly. She looked out at the hall at the cowed or embarrassed eyes of even the men—the smug, malevolent stare of Valdaya.

If it wasn’t for this stupid girl she’d have learned these details privately, quietly, and sent Northern chiefs down with promises of land or mates or silver. But she couldn’t simply walk away, not now. The responsibilities and jurisdictions of the chiefs were clear and separate and men had their own methods of deciding new leaders. She couldn’t simply appoint new chiefs, nor could she demand the surrounding warriors make this their concern. There hadn’t been armed ‘rebellion’ in hundreds of years. And she couldn’t ask these men publicly for help because not only would she look weak—they might refuse. And if they refuse, what does that mean?

“This Bukayag is an infection. He must be stopped.”

Ellevi could hardly believe the girl’s brazen will to go on. She felt her face reddening as the girl spoke again, but did not stop her.

“I have lived in the South for years, Mistress, and I can see his heresy is spreading. It must be cut out. Now. It can not wait two weeks for elections or for anything else.” She paused as if she sensed Ellevi’s fear.

Oh dear God she’s going to ask them. No, no, she can’t possibly be so foolish, she can’t possibly think that…

“Who will bring their warriors South to face this evil?”

The girl, for she was very young, turned to half-face the hall—not quite turning her back to the Matriarch, which would have been the very height of disrespect. The hall was silent.

Ellevi almost screamed and told this infant what a stupid, naive idiot she was to think these men would raise a finger unless compelled, or bribed. Every moment of the day the chiefs of Orhus schemed and plotted to overthrow the others and counted their warriors and swords and armor, and not for one moment would they risk resources on a task outside their duties.

“Who will etch their names in the book for a thousand years? Who will carve their honor with blood?”

The girl almost shouted it, like a chief in his hall, but still the gathering of course kept silent. Ellevi debated exactly how she’d chastise the imbecile, simultaneously and utterly disavowing her without making the Order look equally weak and foolish.

“I will serve, Mistress, and all the warriors I can spare.”

Ellevi blinked and scanned for the voice, and every eye in the hall did the same.

A tall, lithe young man stepped forward, chest puffed. He was clean-shaven and wore no rings or earrings or armbands, and Ellevi didn’t recognize him well enough to know his name, but he was certainly a newer chief and one of the least in Orhus.

She looked at this girl ‘Dala’ and saw hesitation for the first time. One of her hands had clenched, the muscles in her neck straining as if her jaw had locked in place, and to Ellevi the reaction was intriguing, but the moment passed.

“Birmun, son of Camuka. The enemy has hundreds of warriors. How many retainers can you bring?”

She knows him, then, but how?

Some of the other men looked on with renewed interest.

“Forty-three,” said the young chief, his strong chin high, “but they’re worthy, and loyal. It will be enough.”

Several of the greatest chiefs snorted, but others stood or sat rigid, some with red necks or faces, eyes turned to their food or hands or anywhere but on someone else in the room. Dala herself seemed equally paralyzed, and Ellevi considered if she should intervene.

Surely this Bukayag didn’t have hundreds of men, as the girl said. But if he did or was just as fierce as it seemed and killed young Birmun and all his warriors, so what? It would be only the failed ambitions of a fool. As long as no more priestesses turn up dead, she thought. A new chief would be found, or another chief would ‘suggest’ himself to Birmun’s matron and grow slightly in wealth and power, but the balance would shift hardly at all.

Another chief rose from his seat. This one Ellevi knew as powerful—a man of careful ambition who had fought no duels, yet held sway over many households and counted at least the loyalty of a thousand men.

“When the Goddess called, let men say Agnar answered. I will match brave Birmun’s warriors.”

Many of the other chiefs exchanged looks now, surprised and perhaps amused, some leaning towards each other and murmuring words Ellevi wished to God she could hear.

“And I,” said Ivar, one of the five greatest chiefs in the world, with at least as many swords as Agnar. “I will match Birmun’s warriors with true killers. Let these bandits tremble in fear.”

More and more men rose shouting “And I,” grinning and thumping their chests or stomping their feet, thrusting their cups and drinking with men who tomorrow would still be their enemies, but for now who laughed and boasted like boys.

Ellevi shook her head in wonder, unsure if she was impressed or furious. In a single stroke this dirt-stained apprentice had raised a force of a thousand men for something useful, and given the chiefs some common ground, all with a minor leader to fail or rise without much concern. But she should have come to me first, she fumed. She should have waited and asked for my advice, and for my bloody permission.

“Matriarch.”

In the commotion and noise of the men’s ruckus, Dala approached with her head lowered, finally, in obeisance. “Please forgive me. They killed my mentor, I…was so afraid, and angry, I didn’t know what to do, and…”

“Enough.” Ellevi didn’t for one moment believe the sudden deference, but at least the girl knew enough to try and manipulate her. It meant she knew she had to. Ellevi leaned forward so she could whisper. “I think I’ll give you to the Order guard.” She smiled for effect. “I’ve been saving a fat, old toothless pig for a girl like you. Oh his rod may not work anymore, but the thought of him pumping desperately at your young flesh might be satisfying enough. At least for me.”

The apprentice’s false humility shrunk and tightened around her in true fear, her head sinking even further as she stared at her feet.

Yes, girl, I can destroy you with a single word, and you’d best remember it. Ellevi sighed, as if nothing in the world much mattered. “Or you could learn to obey, and be useful.”

Dala nodded correctly and did not lift her head.

“Not this cycle, I think.” Ellevi put a hand to her chin and leaned in her chair, inspecting the girl anew from scalp to feet. She had a woman’s figure already—the sort of hips and breasts that Ellevi never had but men seemed simply enthralled by. She was strong-looking, too, almost like a country matron, and pretty, despite the red-blotched scar. It gives her a certain…fierceness, Ellevi thought, which likely made her even more suited for the men of the South.

But Ellevi decided the girl was a brushfire, a seasonal concern. She would throw off dark smoke and burn bright and hot, then fade and be outlasted, and next year or the year after forgotten. “If you go with these men and keep me exactly informed, doing absolutely nothing else, then perhaps…” she shrugged, as if she wasn’t sure.

Dala looked up with appropriate trepidation.

“Perhaps I could ensure your apprenticeship to Kunla’s replacement, for example. But it would be two more years in the cold, child, and I would require respect for the Order’s rules on your return.”

Dala bowed and fell without reserve to her knees, and Ellevi thrilled when she realized some of the men and matrons were watching.

“Rise, daughter.” She kept the pleasure from her voice, then stood with Dala and looked out at the smiling faces of the crowded hall.

It was not the Spring Festival she had expected, certainly, but no less interesting for that. “Children, I congratulate you.” She clapped alone at first, but soon the matrons followed suit, and the women turned to their mates and touched their arms and held their eyes, and the chiefs swelled with their attention.

“Every man in this hall will go in the book!”

The men gaped in exulted pride, and Ellevi thought if I need a large force in the future, then this is exactly how.

“You will be named Destroyers of Heresy,” she cried over the din, then gestured specifically at the young chief in charge—“and Birmun, Killer of Bukayag the Bastard.”

Even the more reserved men roared in approval, no doubt pleased with their great rewards at so little effort.

Ellevi, though, watched Dala. She watched as her skin flushed and her eyes sought out one man alone as she clapped, struggling desperately to hold back water. Water, yes, and pride. She knows him well.

Ellevi tucked that away, feeling for a moment as if all the world still danced to her song, but it passed as Valdaya caught her eye. The crone kept quiet and still, staring and unmoved, taking in the hall, and Dala, Birmun and the matriarch.

The slow-burning fire, the true danger, which might hardly smoke at all and yet still one day ignite the forest. In silence her cousin gummed her oats, and waited, and Ellevi wished just this once a woman’s war was as simple as a man’s, and that she could put a knife through her enemy’s heart.

37: Dry season. 1578 A.E.

“Again,” said Osco, in barely accented Naranian, as Kale’s sword departed his exhausted grip and clattered across the tiles.

He picked it up, back complaining, then spun about and lunged.

Osco dodged. He always dodged. His baggy linen shirt snapped as he whirled and chopped down hard enough that Kale’s wooden blade bounced back to the floor, rather unceremoniously.

“That could have been your head, Islander. Don’t attack blindly.”

Kale sighed and flexed his hand. It wasn’t the ease of Osco’s victories that embarrassed him, it was the constant predictions of Kale’s attempts to surprise. Well, the ease was embarrassing, too.

“Enough.” He let out a breath and a morning’s worth of frustration, shaking his numb sword-hand as he dropped to sit on the near-by stairs. One of Osco’s eyebrows raised, and Kale didn’t want his friend to think the anger was directed at him.

“I realize I’m…awful. And I appreciate the help. So don’t worry. Just keep telling me what I’m doing wrong.”

The boy’s face never really reacted, except for his eyebrows, which now returned to their natural position of restrained tolerance. “Shall I inform you immediately? Or keep a running tally and report at the end of the day?”

Kale gave him a look. “Use your discretion.”

The boy nodded and perched down beside, posture straight as a stone wall, no hint if he was joking.

“Why doesn’t Asna ever train with us?” Kale had yet to master the foreign words, but if he took his time he did alright. “And stop using…odd words, like ‘tally’.”

Osco picked at wooden chips now peeling off his training sword. “If I don’t use different and peculiar words, you shall never speak like a regular human being. And Asna never trains with us because Asna never trains with anyone. Or maybe at all.”

“What?”

Osco cocked an eyebrow, which might have been contempt, or possibly interest. “Asna may be the greatest swordsman at the academy. It’s somewhat equally possible he’s the worst.” His eyes went to Kale’s face meaningfully. “Well, the second worst. I suspect we shan’t find out till testing.”

Kale nodded at that and smiled, then couldn’t help himself. He laughed out loud.

His mind drifted to his first day at Nanzu—the Naranian imperial academy—when he’d met both boys he now called friends. He’d stumbled in after the long climb, exhausted after months on the road, and wanted only to lie down and sleep in a real bed. Instead he’d had an ‘official welcome’.

One of the administrators greeted him, to his great surprise, with a proper ‘Loa’, leading him through huge ebony gates and winding streets to his room in the foreigner’s dorm. He handed him a student’s smock and waited for him to change, then gave a blitz tour through the mountainous campus, almost none of which Kale remembered, ending in what the man called the ‘dining hall’.

Kale felt the wave of stink and heat, then saw hundreds of students packed into long, wooden tables set up in lines. He saw the dismal, uniformed cooks slopping left-overs into iron tubs, and boys and girls in their late teens spooning food like navy recruits. He didn’t see any administrators.

His guide led him through the aisles of soups, sauced vegetables and mystery meats, explaining what every piece of food actually was. Kale didn’t remember this, either, nor even the man’s name. Then he followed to a table and flopped down with half-closed lids, noticing late it was filled with boys whose skin-tones ranged from cream to ink-blank, all staring.

The administrator promised if Kale needed anything, he need only come and ask, though he didn’t say where, and promptly disappeared into the crowd. The boys watched Kale eat.

“Why does boring man treat new-boy well, and not like shit?”

Kale chewed steamed mush and glanced at the speaker, who he’d soon learn was named Asna. Does he assume I don’t speak Naranian, he remembered wondering, or it just natural rudeness?

This was cleared up with question two.

“Pretty-boy—yes, you—did you suck boring-man’s cock?”

Kale swallowed his bite and met the challenger’s eyes. Ah, the rituals of boys, he’d thought, they are always the same.

“I offered, but he’d just fucked your father.”

The table silenced until Asna jerked with what could only be called a giggle, and the boys erupted in slow-building laughter.

“I like pretty-boy. We make friends. But now for truth, tell Asna why?”

Kale actually had no idea. He’d assumed it was just politeness, and since in his tired state the last witticism was all he could muster, he didn’t do much but stare at the dark-brown, acne-scarred face of his interrogator. His eyes traced the thin, dark beard—something few Islanders could ever produce—the hair too short to hide his skin-marks, or the cocky smile that told the world Asna knew something it didn’t.

“I, uh…”

And then Kale met Osco—the plain looking, brownish eyed, haired, and skinned boy who probably couldn’t be picked out of a crowd anywhere in the world.

“He’s a prince,” he said, as if this explained everything.

“So?” Asna pointed down the table. “Sweat-stain is prince, and lady-men treat him like shit pot.”

‘Sweat-stain’ was a light-skinned, tolerant-looking boy further down the table. He rolled his eyes, clearly accustom to the abuse.

Kale had spasmed as he controlled a laugh, partly because the academy administrators had a sort of top-bun hairstyle that was inarguably lady-like, partly because he was exhausted.

“Our new friend is a prince from the far South—a potential new ally of Naran,” Osco explained.

‘How do you know that? I just bloody got here’ probably should have been Kale’s first thought, but his mind wasn’t exactly at peak performance.

“Ohhh.” Asna’s mischievous eyes widened and his head went to each side before he snapped it back. “Are you rich?”

Kale knew where being rich would get him. “No. I’m even poor company.”

The ugly face splayed with a yellow-toothed smile, then Asna pushed his chair back and rose with drama. “No problem. Friend-making is free.” He bowed with equal drama, and Kale noticed for the first time that his smock was backwards, his pants brightly colored and puffy, and he had some kind of plumage in his shirt.

“My name is Asna Fetlan Isha Fetnal, and I am greatest warrior you have pleasure of meeting.” He looked up, still bowing, “Tell all rich friends, that I gladly, with respect, kill all their enemies…for a modest fee.” He winked, then took his seat.

The rest of that day became a sort of fuzzy blur of stumbling through a thousand foreigners, all who distracted Kale’s eye with their strangely colored clothes, impossible-sounding words, and general busyness. Everyone seemed desperate to go somewhere, rushing down cobble-stone paths between huge stone buildings with names he didn’t understand on metal plaques. He’d had to ask for directions several times, past embarrassment or pride, and locals would point with fake smiles and haughty tones, as if he were the stupidest boy on earth.

Now Kale smiled on the tiles of the practice room, flexing his sword-hand unconsciously. Once, perhaps, such memories might bring him shame—the weakness or failures of the past given more thought in the present than they deserved. But that boy was gone, just a memory—a past self that Kale didn’t judge or dislike because he understood and forgave, as he tried to do for anyone.

“Ready?” Osco leapt to his feet, sword in hand as he moved to the middle of the checker-board, colored-glass window fencing room, lit by light from a rising Naranian sun. His enthusiasm for beating Kale, and his endurance, seemed endless.

“Later we do something I’m good at.” Kale groaned as he rose. Osco’s eyebrows performed his version of a smile.

“What exactly would that be?”

* * *

“Focus on your breathing.”

Kale sat opposite to the small but growing group of foreigners sitting with him on the court-yard grass. Several hundred students crossed through the walk-ways in the large square daily, and many stared at them, but he didn’t mind.

He liked to sit under a great fig tree here. Its wide but sparse leaves hung down only from above the trunk, and they reminded Kale of the monastery—of Ando dangling his feet in the warm, salty water, like the fig tree’s roots in soil.

Though he was surrounded by these people and their lives, hundreds of birds filling the air with a cacophony of competing songs, he imagined Ando telling him to focus on a single thing, and he smiled.

He no longer needed his brothers and their beach. In his mind he summoned only a black canvas of night holding a fire, and he burned his thoughts away while he breathed. He now practiced leaving his body daily, manipulating it while he floated free, then returning—trying to open the ‘window’ of his mind as wide as he could, for as long as he could. It was getting easier.

“Don’t ignore your surroundings—and don’t control your breathing, just pay attention to it.” He spoke though he was outside his body and watching his student’s faces with his spirit-eyes.

His very first student, oddly enough, had been Asna. Somewhat out of the blue he’d told Kale he was tired of looking at all the women at the academy and not having sex with any of them—though not exactly in those words. It was perhaps his way of saying ‘I’m bored’, and also ‘I’m going to get myself into trouble soon’.

So of course, Kale wanted to help. Mingling with the girls wasn’t strictly forbidden, he’d come to learn, but if a Naranian girl ended up pregnant without marriage, the child would be legally born a slave. Rather, an imperial servant, which seemed to amount to the same thing.

Officially the mother would be free to go back to her life with maybe a tarnished reputation—and the same for the father, if he stuck around. Unofficially, however, especially for a foreigner, the father might want to skip town before the girl’s friends and relatives found him in an alley.

“I have just the thing.”

Kale made him sit by the tree and focus on a fig. Asna focused on a different f-word within a few minutes, and was a terrible student, but by ridiculing Kale loudly and frequently for the next few days, he’d actually drummed up some interest. Well, attention. And soon enough some of the other boys were asking what the hell Kale was doing on the grass every day. When he showed them, they usually stayed.

Now he inspected his students and decided they were all dutifully trying to focus, and decided while he waited he would take a little ‘walk’ around the courtyard outside of his body. Mostly, he wanted to eavesdrop.

Sometimes he felt guilty if he heard something private, but he always kept it to himself. All he really wanted was to hear what locals talked about, and to learn about them and their lives and understand them better. Being able to understand them at all was intoxicating, and made him feel less alone.

Getting to Nanzu had taken several months—several long, draining, difficult months, for many reasons, not the least of which was recovering from his injuries. It had at least given Amit time to teach him the Naranian common tongue, but not especially well, and in Nanzu this was only one tongue in a teeming sea of foreign words.

The students here came from every corner of the empire, or beyond—the sheer number of cultures, languages and dialects spoken boggling to the mind. But it seemed no trouble at all, at least not for Kale’s ‘spirit’, which seemed to understand what they meant to say, no matter how they said it.

“…actually, I’d heard they worship fish, and walk around naked, so this is a pleasant surprise.”

Several locals stood on the grass near the Northern foot-path, watching Kale and the others—clearly with some amusement.

“I’d like to see that, he’s so pretty he might actually be a woman.”

They all had a good chuckle, and Kale grinned. Look who’s talking, ‘lady-men’.

“Of course, for all we know, islanders are hermaphrodites.”

Alright, very funny. Ha-ha.

“Hermaphroditic, pacifist, nudist, fish-worshippers. A true threat to the empire.”

Kale shook his head and thought perhaps it was time to wander elsewhere…

“Well I heard this particular fish-lover is a prince, and that they’re going to try and make him a priest.”

“What?” laughed what seemed to be the ‘ringleader’, at least by the way the other boys looked to him for approval after every joke.

Yeah, what?

“I’m serious. I heard father discussing it with a senior priest—he called him the ‘emperor’s pet’, and gave pretty clear ‘direction’.”

‘Ringleader’ looked ready to crack a rib as he shook with laughter and turned red. “Oh my God. They’ll shit themselves.”

“Excuse me?”

The last voice was feminine, and far-away.

“Excuse me, sir?”

Kale pulled himself back to his own senses, and found a young woman staring. Nice eyes, he thought. Kind.

She wore the same grey student-smock that everyone did, but it rested over-top a red, beautifully decorated dress. Or maybe uniform. Or both.

“Sorry—yes?”

She looked embarrassed.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, but I’ve been asked to bring you to Assistant-Priest Fushen’s office, if it is convenient.”

‘If it is convenient’ was Naranian for ‘right bloody now’.

Kale noticed, with a sigh, that some of his students now focused on the girl’s pretty face, or the subtle curves of her dress, rather than on blades of grass or their breathing. One can only expect so much from teenage boys, he decided.

“Now is fine, thank you Miss…?”

She bowed. “Li-yen.”

He stood and returned it, then looked to his dozen students. “That’s all for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Some of them winked and smiled without a great deal of subtlety as they rose and bowed.

Kale walked with Li-yen towards the carved-stone arch that led to the Northern section of Nanzu. He felt the eyes of ‘Ringleader’ and friends but ignored them, trying to bring his senses fully back to the present and the external, and shrug off the lingering sense of otherworldliness that ‘walking’ outside himself always brought.

“Were you leading them in prayer?” asked his guide with the strain of someone who feels compelled to make conversation.

“No,” Kale said, feeling relaxed and without any such compulsion. After a few awkward moments though he decided he didn’t want to embarrass her. “It’s called meditation. It’s…a way to rest and discipline the mind.”

She nodded and smiled politely. They passed the many shops that catered to rich visiting students—tourist baubles, taverns, beauty ‘experts’ and pretty girls giving massages. There were book copiers and bag-carriers, tutors of every sort. All four quarters of Nanzu were like small cities unto themselves, and they bustled with people and trade. Kale felt Li-Yen growing more uncomfortable with each passing moment of silence, despite the activity around them.

“What do you study?” he asked, hoping to put her at ease, but she blushed intensely.

“I have the honor of testing for the First-Desk,” she said, “and you?” Kale shrugged. He had no idea what the ‘First-Desk’ meant. He knew there was a hierarchy and different categories of study, but not what they were.

“I think it’s different for foreigners.” He knew this only because Osco told him. “I’ll be given a placement test, and they’ll decide, so I’ve been getting ready for all paths.”

“Oh,” she said, as if she hadn’t known how it worked, or didn’t care. “Your Naranian is very good,” she added, in a rush.

He smiled and thanked her, holding the door to the temple open as she went inside. Her scent hit him like a punch to the gut. Some sort of fruit, he decided, with a hint of vanilla.

The careful barriers in his mind burst open as memories of Lani flooded through. First the coy eyebrow raise when she smiled, her infectious laugh. Then the sight of her in the darkness, lit only by flashes of lightning as they made love.

Sometimes when he imagined it, like now, it wasn’t him. It was Tane. His hands moved over her body, her face convulsed in ecstasy as she cried out. Kale clenched his fists and fought down the helplessness and rage, trying desperately to replace it with the love and forgiveness he sometimes felt—replace it with the hope that they were happy and sharing a life they deserved. It never worked.

“Is everything alright?”

He’d stopped walking, apparently, and Li-Yen stared.

“I’m fine.”

He walked on without waiting towards the priest.

38

“Prince Ratama, welcome.”

Assistant-Priest Fushen was a short, spectacled man that looked more shopkeeper than holy-man. He waved at Li-yen, who bowed then backed out and closed the door without another word.

“May I offer you a drink? I’m told you speak our language very well, but please stop me whenever you don’t understand.”

“Thank you, sir. I’m not thirsty, and I’ll say so.”

The man nodded low enough it became a sort-of bow, and proceeded to make small-talk for an exhausting length of time. This was an exceedingly Naranian thing to do.

Once he’d learned how Kale found his room, his bed, his teachers, his friends, the weather, and so on, he’d finally built enough comfort to announce the reason they were here. Kale almost cheered him on.

“As you know,” he began—a clear sign of a poor persuader—“the Emperor is very eager to teach our ways to friends and allies, and to share our knowledge of the world, so we might all prosper together.”

Oh just get on with it, man.

“In the spirit of mutual respect, we here at the Academy’s Temple would like to offer you the incredible opportunity to partake in our initiate program. That is—to teach you the wisdom of Ru, all-knowing God, so that you might one day—if you choose, be an ordained member of the clergy.”

Kale repressed his groan at the thought of more ‘religious education’, and almost asked opportunity for whom? But he knew what an honor this was—indeed, how unfair it was, for the vast swaths of citizens who competed for this very chance each year, and failed.

“I would be honored,” he said, with a small head-bow. Fushen smiled and bobbed his head, as if only listening politely.

“I mean, I accept,” Kale tried, and waited, and the man nearly lurched from his seat.

“So very sorry, you do! Of course you do! I am most pleased to hear that, my young prince. And may I say it speaks volumes to the open-mindedness of your people and culture, not to mention your own generous spirit.”

“You’re too kind. It’s my pleasure.”

“I’m sure you’ll find it very welcoming and satisfying here.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“Your family will be most proud and benefit greatly from your newfound wisdom.”

“Yes I hope so.”

It went on like this for longer than Kale could possibly have imagined. Years of palace life seemed somehow useless social training, completely inadequate to escape.

When he’d finally stood and left the room—no thanks to his own wit—bowing for the third or fourth time with his hands on the door, he pushed his back against the other side, closed his eyes, and mouthed a procession of the most vulgar curses he knew. He breathed out and opened his eyes. And looked straight into Li-yen’s.

She’d turned an inhuman color of red, Kale noticed, and he wondered how many ways he’d just said the word penis.

He stayed stuck on the door, as if not moving would somehow make everything alright, not sure if he’d used his language or hers.

“I see you’ve been… thorough… in your study of our…beautiful tongue.”

He opened his mouth for the third time before he formed words.

“I…I’m sorry.” He paused, groping for a way out and finding only the truth. “I had only…sailors, to practice my lessons with. For several weeks.”

Li-yen’s face did not change.

“Well, be that as it may, I happen to know Assistant-Priest Fushen’s mother personally, and she is in fact a lovely, loyal woman.”

Kale blushed with abandon—meaning she had succeeded where many navy officers, and one mean, old monk had failed.

“Yes, I’m sure she is.” He swallowed. “Again, my apologies.”

He didn’t know what else to say, and so the silence stretched. Li-yen waited and waited as if some other form of etiquette was required, and then she smiled. She put her hands up to cover her mouth and started giggling, and if that wasn’t bad—or cute— enough, she cocked her head to the side, covered her whole face, and peeked out with one eye while she held back laughter.

The tension sapped, and Kale half-choked, half-exhaled—as quietly as he could.

“Oh you are a cruel, cruel girl, Li-Yen of Naran,” he whispered, then bent over and put his hands on his knees like he’d just gone for a run, which only sent the girl into a renewed fit of ill-concealed giggles.

“Can we leave the temple, please?”

She nodded between fits.

They walked as calmly as possible to the thick doors of the entrance, which he held open again politely. But once they were outside, he glared. This seemed only to amuse her further.

“You’ve mistreated me.”

“I’ve mistreated you!” Now she laughed openly. “A young, unmarried girl like me might faint at such words! Quiet or not!”

“I did not say them out loud.”

Her head nodded and she made little gasps as she tried to breathe. He stiffened his posture, putting his hands formally at his sides in the Naranian fashion, and bowed low.

“Please forgive me. How can I atone for my impolite, and offensive behavior?”

She took control of herself and stood as formally. “You will show me this meditation. In a private lesson. And you will tell me who your language-tutor is, besides the sailors, for there is some wise master at work here!”

Kale rose and bowed again, keeping the grimace from his face as best he could. She would not know, of course, how right she was. She would not know—as even he hadn’t— that his tutor ‘Master Amit’, was actually the Emperor’s Uncle Amit. A man famous here not just for his family, and his mind, but for his deeds.

* * *

They sat together near a flower garden, the sweet foreign scents of unknown reds and purples distracting Kale’s nose while Li-yen distracted his eyes. It was quiet, here, near the female student’s dormitory, yet seemed more adverse to concentration than the middle of the courtyard square. It’s your thoughts of home, and Amit. Burn them.

He tried. But an itch on his scalp, the grass on his ankles, a cramp in his thigh—they all seemed to take precedence.

“You seem distracted,” said his new student, who was supposed to be focusing on her breathing and then concentrating on an object of her choice. Kale said as much.

“I’m concentrating on your nose,” she said, “so your fidgeting is bothersome.”

He fully opened his eyes, just so he could narrow them again. “When one is bothered by something, it’s wiser to focus on something else, rather than continue to be bothered.”

“Good advice,” she said, and then stuck out her hands. “Let me read your palm.”

You shouldn’t have agreed to this at all, he decided. But here you are.

He stuck out his palm, fingers spread, and she curled one hand under while she traced the other over his lines, seemingly intense and with purpose. He tried to ignore the pleasant warmth and softness of those hands.

“Will I live to a hundred and have a dozen children?”

“Quiet,” she said, “I’m concentrating.”

He rolled his eyes and waited. I’d rather be trying to meditate.

“You’re a very serious boy,” she said at last, not looking up. He nodded his head, supposing it was true, though not sure when it happened, and not very impressed that she said so.

“You feel a heavy burden. A responsibility for others—everyone you know, even those you don’t.”

At this he sort of lifted an eyebrow.

“You have a great drive to be something, or do something, but you don’t know what. And you know people—you see the truth of them, usually right away.”

He was watching her now, intrigued despite himself, though she wouldn’t look up at him.

“And…you’re sad, I think. You didn’t want to come here. You left people you loved, maybe someone in particular,” she said this last part almost as if she were surprised herself, finally meeting his eyes. He had no idea what to say.

“You got all that from my palm?”

She shook her head and smiled. “No. You see? Too serious!”

He smiled too, but pulled his hand back, maybe too quickly. “An impressive distraction, I admit. Now keep your eyes on the grass, and pay attention to your breathing.”

She assumed a mockingly serious expression and posture, but did as her ‘teacher’ asked.

* * *

Later he lay in his bed in the ‘foreigner’ dorms, perhaps for the last time before they moved him to the temple. He thought about his old life, trying to understand the new. Tomorrow I will be an acolyte, a tedious monk in robes, and things will change again.

After their meditation session Kale had walked Li-yen to her building and said goodbye. He’d been feeling guilty, thinking he’d gotten more out of it than she did. They stopped at the door as other girls came and went without really looking at them, and with any of the other locals he’d met, Kale would have been prepared for a lengthy session of basically saying ‘see you later’. Not so with Li-yen.

“Your lesson was short, and you wouldn’t tell me your tutor’s name. You’ll have to do better.”

Then she’d stood there, waiting.

“Alright,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say, and that was it. She went up to her room, and he punished himself some more for not putting an immediate end to…whatever it was.

Tomorrow he’d be an Initiate of God. Was mingling with girls even allowed? He burned the thought and let his imagination run wild for the hundredth time. In his own private prison, his brother and Lani made love in the moonlight, and then his father punished Tane for defending Kale at the surgeon’s table. We all lose, he thought bitterly, all of us except father.

Tane’s punishment ranged anywhere from house-arrest to weekly lashings in Kale’s mind. Usually it was Eka holding the whip, his face serene as the prince’s blood and screams came splashing out in unrealistic ways. Sometimes it was Farahi himself.

Kale wondered, and not for the first time, if he would ever return. His last conversation with Amit still haunted his dreams.

“I’m sorry I lied to you, Kale. But I had to know your people’s intentions, and your father’s mind. I see now that he is a ruthless and paranoid man who sees war and treachery where there is none.”

Kale wanted to disagree. After everything, his first reaction was still to defend his father, but he couldn’t. Somehow he’d always known there was more to Amit than the ‘servant’ let on, but he knew too that, whoever he was, he was a good man—a man of learning and peaceful ambitions. Months ago he would have questioned that feeling—would have reminded himself—as you ‘felt’ Utani told the truth about sabotaging your recruits? As it seemed Kwal told the truth when he said he didn’t kill Utani?

But Amit had explained that, too.

“Utani didn’t lie—not when you asked him. Kwal waited until the very last moment to intimidate the boy, and you never considered that. Regardless, he didn’t kill him, Kale. Your father did. Though I don’t know why, exactly. He wanted Kwal gone, and quietly, but I couldn’t find out his reasons.”

The truth in the words washed over Kale like warm water and left him numb—too numb to ask how Amit managed to learn all this.

“If I were you, my friend, I would never go back. Forget your old life. Stay here in Naran—make something of yourself at the academy, or travel the world. And whenever you wish, if you wish, come find me in the palace. You could live there and work with me—you could see the world we’re trying to create.”

They’d embraced like father and son, perhaps the first such hug Kale had ever felt except with Tane. “Amit,” he’d asked quietly, “do you and your family intend to make war with my father?”

The old man held his eyes. “No. We’ve never attacked a peaceful people without provocation.” It was clear he meant it.

“And yet, you told me the empire has expanded all your life.”

He nodded, if slowly. “Yes, but to protect allies—usually to absorb allies, peacefully and with consent. It’s true that to make peace we have had to understand war. But I hope only for a world where there is no one left to fight.”

You believe what you’re saying, Kale knew, but that doesn’t make it true, and your words are careful.

They’d gone their separate ways, and Kale had now been at the academy for three weeks. Before that, of course, he’d been on the road through Nong Ming Tong for three long months, and at sea for a week before that.

It made him home-sick, in a strange sort of way, thinking about how far he’d come and how long it took. Except it made him wonder if Lani were pregnant yet with Tane’s child. He threw that thought in the fire.

Too late. He pulled the thin blanket up around himself like armor. You shiver, but it isn’t cold.

He avoided thinking about Li-yen and the confusion she’d brought him, and without a shred of irony or dishonesty in his heart, he prayed he’d be sworn off women forever, and find peace tomorrow in the Naranian God.

* * *

“Welcome to Ru’s temple. This morning we will see if any of you can perform a miracle in His name.”

It sounded like a joke, but apparently wasn’t. Kale learned that Ru’s priests could actually create miracles. Or at least so people said.

The priests, carrying torches, took him and the other twenty initiates down a dark stairwell into the side of the mountain. It was cramped, and oppressive, but became quite cool and dry. They walked to an ornate, golden door and were told to stand in line in the cramped space as they were called individually.

Kale ended up near the end, and each test seemed to take several minutes, so he stood there staring at flickering shadows until his feet turned numb. The mix of boys and girls around him said little, and his one or two attempts to engage any in conversation failed miserably. They adjusted their robes or prayed, fingers twined and knuckles white as they stared at the stone as if not seeing it. Kale was the only foreigner.

None of the students who went in ever came out, either, which made him think the cave had another exit. Unless they’re being ritually sacrificed for failure, he thought, mostly in jest. Though if one judged by the looks on the still-waiting student’s faces, this seemed entirely plausible.

“Initiate Alaku.” Kale jerked in surprise despite being at the front, and the hooded man at the door beckoned him forward. He shuffled in on ill-fitting sandals, careful to avoid stepping on the freshly washed, awkwardly hanging robes.

The door closed immediately behind him, and the room disappeared into darkness save for the priest’s small lantern. He led Kale deeper and told him to kneel on a mat before a table full of unlit candles, then walked around to the other side.

“Because you are a foreigner, I will explain the task. You must imagine yourself to be nothing. You must hold the truth and knowledge in your mind that Ru is the master and creator of existence, and that your place in it is determined only by Him.”

Kale nodded. Sit here and do nothing. Got it.

“As recognition of your humble submission, you will then ask Him to favor you with His blessing. You will ask Him to light these candles before you, through divine will, and in so doing acknowledge the depth of your faith.”

Kale was glad for the darkness, because he was sure he made a face.

“Please understand, if you fail it does not mean you may not go on to serve Ru and his church. Merely, that you are not one of the very few members of the Anointed, who are called to their positions by God Himself.” He motioned with one hand for Kale to begin, and stepped away, covering most of the lantern with a cloth so that only a tiny glow remained.

Kale put his hands in his cuffs like Amit and withheld the powerful impulse to reject this entirely as a crock of shit. All over Pyu ‘shamans’ and ‘witch-doctors’ claimed to have magic powers, and people went to them for charms or spells or blessings, coming away no luckier or healthier, and always with a bit less coin.

You can walk outside your body and be in two places at once, he reminded himself. You can understand any language while doing so, and you have seen ‘shadows’ that exist in the world, unseen by your body’s eyes. So why can’t a God light a few candles?

He shrugged, and decided to attempt it. Surely there were others in the world with knowledge and abilities that seemed to Kale like magic. His own new ‘powers’ were proof that such things existed, and this made anything possible. He closed his eyes.

Dear Ru—if you exist, which I admit you could—I honestly believe I am a powerless, worthless nothing, created by forces I don’t understand, for purposes I don’t know. I will give everything I am to you if you just show me a path, and give me peace.

Kale listened and heard the low crackling of the priest’s flame, and perhaps a drop of water from somewhere deeper in the cave. Nothing happened.

I believe that something, some god, must have created the world. And if you will just show me that it’s you, and what my place in it is, I will devote my entire life to you. I give you my word.

He waited and felt only the hard stone on his knees, a small pebble jabbing into his skin through the cloth. No doubt I’m just inadequate, he thought, believing it.

First he’d been rejected by his own kin, sent half-way across the world. Now here he sat, stuck in a foreign cave, so far from the life he thought he’d live. He had failed his brother, failed Utani, failed Lani, maybe even failed his marines as they were split apart in the navy under men who’d known and liked Kwal. He’d never once felt in control, as if only sliding through life choosing the least terrible options, surrounded by people and ideas and events that seemed purposeless and cruel, contradictory and false.

He was young, he knew, and yet felt so tired—tired of being used and told who he was and why it mattered, lied to by people who only ever served themselves. All he wanted, all he ever wanted, was to love, and be loved—not at the edge of a spear, or on a pedestal before a crowd, but in the arms of a friend.

He felt tears as the false bravado came away in the darkness. He let all pretense of knowledge and confidence give-way like rice-paper in the wind. I am not in control, that is true, and perhaps, I never have been.

He didn’t understand his family, his people, the world—not even himself. But he wasn’t sure anyone else did, either.

Face the truth, you say? The truth that I’m wandering alone in the dark, afraid and alone? Without any faith or belief that anything matters, just like everyone else?

This ‘test’, like all the other stupid tests he’d ever taken felt soon to be over, another failure at hand. But who would I have failed, he wondered, who even cares? And what is ‘success’?

He thought of standing outside his body in the Bato temple, trying to make it trace the symbols in the monastery.

“Why you do it matters,” he heard Master Lo’s voice, and felt the truth of that mean old bastard’s words again like a ringing bell.

Can you be both wise and cruel, he wondered? Then burned the thought and focused on his breathing.

Lani, self-doubt, his father—they all rushed into the fire and vanished until all the world was a white beach and the tide. Ando had joined Kale’s brothers there and now smiled as he watched the waves. Kale watched too and held the boy’s hand until he floated away in the ash.

Then he was standing outside himself, spirit blinking uselessly, equally blind in the gloom. He stopped trying to see, reaching out and ‘feeling’ with his spirit—somehow sensing the warmth and moisture from his own body, and from the priest and his light, as if he had gained some new sense of touch. Beyond, he could even feel the warmth from the students outside, but it was like sunlight shining on the water in the distance—so close you could see it and remember it on your skin, but gain no comfort from the memory.

Why? Why am I here? Why do I struggle? He shook his head, feeling alone just for asking, and feeling perhaps he had at least one answer. Why do I want to light these god-damned candles, Lo? Because none of my brothers in the navy can read. Because people who don’t deserve it suffer. Because others who do deserve it don’t. Because maybe if this strange God and I can just light these stupid fucking candles, then maybe we can change those other things, too.

The bits of warmth moved closer, or perhaps Kale expanded. He tried to touch it and hold it—not to consume, not to destroy, because somehow he felt a thing could only ever change and transform. He felt the heat sucking out of his body as he seized it, then out of the priest. The lamp snuffed out like a door was thrown open, and every candle lit with an audible ‘whoosh’.

39

“Tell me exactly what happened.”

Great Priestess Nuo flinched at the Exarch’s tone. The Sacred Gathering Hall felt small and stuffy in the best of times, but the man’s mood and the hot summer air made her sweat from scalp to thighs.

“I’m not entirely sure, Your Worship,” said Chun, the priest in charge of administering the tests.

“Well then tell me what you know.”

The Master of Administration nodded, perfectly composed, despite all the eyes boring into him.

“My assistant explained the ritual to…the Emperor’s Guest…and proceeded as usual…”

“And he received no other contact, except the students and your appointed priests?”

“Yes, Your Worship, as you know, these things are strictly controlled.” Chun nodded and took silence as a cue to proceed. “After a few minutes, my assistant felt a ‘coldness’, like a gust of wind. His lamp flickered and vanished, and when he looked back to the offering, all the candles were aflame.”

Some of the Anointed muttered and shifted in their thickly cushioned seats.

“Well then there are only two possibilities,” said the Exarch, the man ‘closest to God’ in all the world, “either the boy has produced a miracle without being chosen,” the way he said this made it clear how likely he thought that was, “or someone has tampered with the test.”

Muttering turned to impolite chatter, and the Administrator’s face burned a shade of crimson. Nuo thought it more anger than shame.

“That is simply not possible, Your Worship. Every priest associated with the test is Anointed. Beyond reproach. And the only person in the testing room besides the boy was my assistant.”

The Assistant who, everyone understood, was more like Chun’s adopted son.

“Then logic would dictate that your assistant is the culprit.”

The Administrator’s eyes bulged as if strangled, and Nuo almost laughed. The Exarch was technically in charge of the mountain temple, but only a fool slapped a powerful man in the face without purpose or evidence.

“My friends,” she intervened, “is the simplest explanation not usually the best?”

The various High Priests and Masters turned to her. “What reason is there that Ru could not have chosen this boy to serve Him?”

The Exarch rolled his eyes. “The reason is that we didn’t choose him, and Ru has blessed our fortunate council with the responsibility to select worthy candidates on his behalf.”

You’ve always been a faithless, corrupt, fool, at least have the decency to hide it.

“And where is that written, Your Worship? Do you suggest almighty Ru is incapable of selecting on his own?”

This was, of course, not a new debate. But never before had there been an initiate that produced a miracle without the Council’s ‘help’, and Nuo had never had evidence to suggest the Exarch and his ilk were wrong, though she believed wholeheartedly that they were. The success of the foreign prince, and the opportunity to have the Administrator on her side—she had no choice but to act. In the short-term, of course, her life might be made rather difficult.

The Exarch stared murder, and despite his many flaws, he was still a dangerous man. “We will conduct an official inquiry to discover the truth of this…aberration. Because our Master of Administration is involved, I will select another member to lead it.”

Of course you will—your personal attack dog waits patiently on his leash.

“Great Priest Bao, you will bear the burden of this task. We will re-convene in one week’s time to examine your findings.”

“Of course, Your Worship.” The sycophant bowed—the Exarch’s square-headed thug in robes.

Most of the others were too cowardly or indifferent to enter such a fight. As usual, they would sit by and let the more ambitious steer the future of their church, content to skim what earnings they could, or guide whichever souls, according to their piety or corruption.

“And what will we tell the Emperor, Your Worship?”

Nuo had sat silent like her colleagues long enough. But not today. The Exarch’s lip curled, but he said nothing.

“If the council fails to inform the Son of Heaven, and word of it reaches his ear by some other means—which, I think likely, considering there’s so many students possibly involved—well, I fear his reaction, Your Worship.”

She didn’t bother to add, and of course I will inform him immediately if you don’t, basking in the silence as she waited.

“We will inform him a breach in testing has occurred, and once we’ve determined the cause, we will send him the results.”

Nuo watched the rage twitch through the Administrator’s eyes, and knew she’d cemented her alliance.

“And what of the boy himself, and the other initiates? What should we tell them?”

“I assume you have a suggestion?”

She hid her smile. “I fear we have no choice, Your Worship. After all, he did pass the test. He will tell his friends what happened in that room—and he will tell his fellow students. From his perspective, why shouldn’t he? For now we must formally accept him as Anointed until such time as we determine the results were false. If so, we rescind the invitation, with our deepest apologies, and then make swift examples of the conspirators. Though not the prince himself, obviously, since he’s the Emperor’s guest.”

Her enemy blinked in concentration, foot tapping felt by everyone on the thin, wooden floor.

He may very well destroy me for this, Nuo thought, when all is said and done.

But still, she had no choice. Even if only in her death throes she could remove him, then God would be served. The man was corrupt from day one. No, she corrected, remembering her days as a student with him, watching him terrify brilliant scholars and even priests with his connections, his money, sullying the sacred teachings with very mortal aims. He was corrupt long before.

“Very well, Master of Rites. You may proceed. But do so quietly, without any fanfare whatsoever. Is that absolutely clear?”

“Yes, Your Worship, clear. And very wise.”

She would have the ‘students’ assemble a rather large affair ‘on their own’, she decided, and ‘completely without her knowledge’. Then she’d make sure they invited important guests and splashed the prince’s name and face over everything. She hoped the boy was studious and wise and worthy of the honor Ru deigned to bestow. But she supposed it didn’t matter, and in any case wasn’t up to her.

The rest of the meeting passed in a blur as her mind raced out to the future and the many ways the Exarch could react. Would he wait for the inquiry and put his last few enemies name’s as conspirators? Would he bribe high priests or students to accuse them? Would he simply send assassins?

Nevermind, she thought, I’ll take precautions, and the future is the future and today is today. First, I protect the boy, and raise him up, and perhaps prepare a new holy book to capture his words. Then I pray the Son of Heaven is pleased.

40: Fall. 427 G.E.

Egil traced his fingers on the naked skin of his lover’s back. His long hair pooled with hers—night invading a red-tinged dawn—and he reached his hand to cup her breast.

“More?” she mumbled, “I’m too tired.” Her back arched against him and she squirmed. He took her face in his hand and turned her head, catching the smile before she wiped it away.

“Always more.” He pressed his lips to hers and slid the hand on her breast lower, over the little bump on her belly, down slowly between her legs.

“Father!”

The couple made a collective sigh.

“Yes?”

He smiled and kissed his lover’s cheek, desire rising with hers.

“There’s a man outside. He’s just standing there getting soaked. He’s very tall.”

The lust and warmth growing in Egil’s gut turned to ice. Volus had long turned his eye, and the dark night cracked and poured rain. Their house was nowhere near a traveler’s road.

It’s just Aiden, returning for news, he hoped. The timing is wrong, but not by much.

“Get a weapon,” he whispered, and the ex-priestess in his bed rose without words, pregnant or not.

Egil eased off the soft padding, covering himself with a fine robe, tucking fur slippers on his mangled feet. The young woman at his side strapped a cold leather cuirass over her bare chest, and drew her sword.

He glanced at her still-naked bottom, and she rolled her eyes, then stuffed her legs into his cloth pants with a look that asked ‘are you happy?’

They crept to the door by hearthlight. Egil waited till his family stood in place, ready to kill, and with a deep breath, then a few more, he pulled it open.

* * *

“Is he awake?”

Sound seemed to echo as if Egil lay in a pit, and he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming. Whose voice is that?

He rose up to his elbows, pain shooting from the back of his head, a little stone digging into his flesh. No, he winced, and shifted, dreams don’t hurt.

He looked up at the ceiling of his house, then down to the entrance fur he’d apparently missed landing on, and vaguely recalled approaching the door.

“Are you alright?”

His lover knelt at his side, one hand resting on his forehead.

“Fine, I think. What happened?”

He looked at Juchi’s beautiful face, jaw locked and serious, eyes straying towards the hearth. She said nothing.

“You fainted.”

A deep bass voice filled Egil’s home, reverberating from the walls, invading his ears and burying in his chest. He turned, trembling, knowing what he would see. A ghost. A dead man. Ruka.

The giant warmed himself by the fire. His skin looked sun-baked and brown, his clothes fine and Northern, if soaked. He met Egil’s eyes and waited, displaying something approaching patience.

“I…we…I…”

“Thought I was dead, yes, I know.”

Egil meant to shake his head, but his whole body shook instead. If he was honest, he’d never truly believed. Somehow he’d always known, deep in his heart, that Ruka would not, could not die, unless others had seen. Such a man could only die in legend—in the maw of some monster, or bathing in the blood of his enemies, surrounded by witnesses.

“How…how long has it been, Bukayag?”

A crooked smile spread over the still-ugly, Noss-touched jaw. The man was bigger, if that were possible—healthier-looking. His face and limbs held a roundness now, where before his body seemed only bone sheathed in curving muscle.

“Two years, Egil. A little more.”

Two years. By all the gods, was that all? It felt like a lifetime.

“Now tell me, for I’ve been waiting—why I shouldn’t just strangle your priestess.”

Juchi rose, sword in hand. The young boy they loved like a son moved quietly in the corner, his knife raised.

Oh, my goddess. My beautiful Juchi. This is no place for courage, my love. This is not a man you can fight or kill, but a force of nature.

“Because you have no sword, and I’d gut you like a fish. And I am not a priestess.”

She spoke so calmly, so confidently, and Egil’s heart ached with love and fear. But she was wrong, so very wrong. She didn’t understand, no matter how much he’d told her over the last two years, she couldn’t possibly understand.

Ruka let the silence hang, his smile gone, eyes hard and cruel. “I do not speak to you, Mistress, but my retainer. I saw you in Alverel, oh yes, I remember. I speak to Egil because unlike you, he has influence over your fate.”

Egil rose to his knees. “She’s no threat to you, Maste...Bukayag. You can’t imagine the valley when you left. The chiefsmen broke, and your men they…they butchered everyone. Women, children, everyone they could catch. Aiden protected Juchi and I stole a horse, and…we ran, ran away together and never looked back. She’s helped us since then, even helped some of your retainers avoid the Order. She’s not with them anymore. They abandoned her, thought she was dead. She’s not with them now I swear it.”

As he spoke Egil felt Juchi subtly pull away. He felt her judgment and disgust. Please, let me protect you, he thought, not caring what he must do, or suffer.

Ruka’s bright eyes bore into him, as if sucking out knowledge of the missing years. Egil saw the killer there still, behind the light, only ever held at bay, and its attention on him rose hairs on his arms and neck.

“Forgive me. I see clearly you are Juchi’s Chosen, and therefore she cannot be a priestess, yes? Come, and drink with me. Let us speak of old days, and new beginnings.”

Thinking of ‘old days’ made Egil’s missing toes tingle, and his gums hurt—made him cringe and think of a night of screams.

Juchi watched him, trembling with rage, as close to violence as he’d ever seen her. She was the only one who knew how he’d received his wounds. The one who’d re-built him from nothing after Ruka’s destruction, and he knew she had no interest in going back.

“This is our home, Ruka. You’ll sit and drink if we invite you, or you’ll walk back out into that rain if we don’t.”

Egil closed his eyes, then bowed his head hoping, begging, that Ruka understood. Please no, please don’t take my family. I’ll do anything. Whatever you want.

The man who was not a man stared.

“So, you know who I am, and what I’ve done. It makes no difference. I haven’t come here to harm you.”

Egil felt some small hope, knowing his master had no reason to lie.

“What do you want?”

Juchi’s voice held no fear still. She speaks when it should be me, he thought, and felt like a coward, like the thing he’d been before—the selfish thief and liar who cared about nothing except himself, and then the broken servant.

Ruka reached into his cloak and Juchi nearly charged him. He seemed to recognize it and slow, hand moving calmly to draw a large, metallic disc from his pocket, then place it on the table with a thud. Egil saw with shock his old master’s hand was scarred—crosswise and lengthwise, and missed at least one finger.

“I want more of these.”

Egil tore his attention from the mangled flesh, then struggled to stand. The object seemed to be a coin, but yellow, and huge—ten times the size of any coin in the Ascom, and far smoother, more consistent, and more whole. It held some design, too, like an intricate etching—a man’s face turned to the side, square-jawed, beardless and proud.

“It’s a king,” Ruka explained. “The king of the people who made this.”

Juchi looked at Egil, then back. “There is no king except the law,” she quoted from the book, and Ruka rewarded her with his lopsided smile.

“Across the sea in the land of the gods, there are little brown kings with more wealth than you can imagine.” He took the time to meet both their stares. “That’s where I’ve been, Egil, all this time. I sailed North and nearly died for it. But I found land. It is the paradise that was promised—a place without winter. A place with soil so rich that anything will grow, and does—a place with water so warm children play in it all day and never freeze. And it is filled by weakness, and greed—by fishermen and merchants who know nothing of violence and even less of hardship. We need only reach out and take it.”

Egil watched Ruka’s eyes and tried to spot the madness. It would all be lies, of course, though what reason he had to lie Egil did not know. Ruka would have sold his runes and learned somehow to mould metal like clay and change its color. He’d probably killed some rich Northern farmers and hidden in their home while the Order searched the South in vain. Now he was ready—spinning a new legend, and it would end in death and chaos, just as before.

“There is more, Egil. I’ve brought a foreign ship, and foreign weapons. I have a chest full of coins. Silver, and this metal they call gold. The wealth of the North is unimaginable.”

“Then buy a village,” Juchi snapped. “Live like a chief for the rest of your days. You don’t need us.”

His master’s gaze roamed the fine, stone house, taking in the two hearths and fur-lined walls, the well-fed child he could no doubt still see in the dark corner.

“I care nothing for wealth.”

Ruka’s bright eyes stopped drifting, returning to settle on Egil.

“This is a fine house, for a skald, and an ex-priestess. You’ve done very well.” He leaned forward. “Sell a few rune-blades, did you? Looted from your dead brothers? Did you tell yourself you earned them?”

“Yes.” The word snapped from Egil’s mouth, a little of his fear and shame overcome. “Yes I earned it. I served and I paid in flesh more than some. Will you tell me I didn’t?”

Ruka’s eyes narrowed but he withdrew, and his face relaxed. Do you feel guilt like other men, Egil wondered? Could there be some tiny softness behind the ‘seer’? Some regret?

He thought perhaps yes, but the moment passed, too subtle to read, and gone in an instant.

“Not all our people live so comfortably.” Ruka looked out the window, as if all the Ascom stretched before him, even in the darkness. “I could have stayed in paradise, but I’ve come back for them. If you won’t do it for me, Egil, or for yourselves, then do it for your people.”

“We owe them nothing,” Juchi hissed, and Egil put his hands on her shoulders to calm her, knowing whatever logic Ruka might use, whatever terms he might set, whatever choices he might give—it was madness to refuse.

“Then do it for your children, priestess, and for your daughter’s children, or things will never change. We will always suffer in the cold, dark wasteland we think is the world.”

Juchi looked just as unconvinced and said nothing, but Egil knew it was already over.

“Tell me of the last two years, Egil. What happened after Alverel?”

He took a breath and obeyed, if just to distract Juchi and give her time to cool down. He told Ruka of the massacre and the flight of his men, the elections to replace Bodil and Kunla, and the small Northern army sent to kill Bukayag.

“They’re still in the South,” he explained. “We’re not even sure what they’re doing since all the brothers have moved on. But there’s always talk of ‘rebels’ and violent outcasts, and the Order and their dogs parade dead man and boys along the spiral in warning. We’ve no clue who the corpses are.”

Ruka took this in and said nothing, as if it didn’t matter. When he seemed to tire of the story he stared, and waited, and Egil cleared his throat.

“Pretending…assuming I agreed,” he said, “and I helped you, in whatever small way I even could, what would you have me do?”

Juchi hadn’t done much cooling down and spun to him, face creased in betrayal. She shrugged away.

‘Please don’t, my love,’ he tried to tell her with his eyes. ‘Please let me protect you from a thing you can’t understand like I do. A thing you can’t stop with a sword, or with words, or with anything.’

“You will spread word of my return. With my coin you will help me gather lumber, weapons, men and supplies, and find any of my retainers who still live. You will convince men to join my cause.”

Of course, Egil thought. What else could you possibly want, but a grand death?

“And what is it you’ll do with these things? Kunla is dead. Hulbron would not be hard to burn, if you wish. Why not simply tell the world about this Northern land?”

His master was the same boy, then, from years before, sitting by a corpse spooning flesh to his lips.

“I will fulfill my promise, Egil.” His bright pupils glowed with a wetness, like the sun dipping below the sea. He picked up his coin from the table, and the iron cords of his forearm flexed as he gripped. “I will destroy this land of ash, and make my followers kings in paradise.”

Egil watched the absolute certainty with awe—the terrifying confidence of the man he knew would be his master until his death. He held back a shiver.

He is so sure, he thought, so hauntingly, unstoppably sure.

Egil knew his own path was inevitable, no matter his fears. He felt his head nodding in obedience, lips turned up in an approving smile, just as he felt Juchi’s respect and maybe love slipping away. But he’d had two years of bliss with her. If he was lucky she might come to understand and forgive him if Ruka died. And in the end, perhaps, she would live, and the life in her belly would live, and even if Egil died in the wake of Ruka’s wild glory, then that would be enough.

Between these thoughts of his own life and the future and of forces beyond a man’s control, a question interrupted, though he did not have the courage to speak.

If your followers are kings, Ruka, in this world or the next, then what does that make you?

41

Kale stood near Osco in his initiate robes, a line of martial students practicing archery before them in an immaculate field of green and yellow grass. Mostly he watched the white mountain peaks shimmering above the clustered bluffs that formed the martial quarter.

“Apparently, they’re throwing me a party.” He didn’t even try to keep the shit-eating grin from his face.

“A gathering of priests.” Osco notched another arrow and held it there. “Sounds exciting.”

“Well it’s not only priests. I can invite whoever I like.”

“Girls!” Asna leaned up to his elbows from the ground. He’d been lying with his head on Osco’s book-bag and fanning himself for quite some time, though by rights he should be practicing, too.

“Girls,” Kale agreed. “And every foreigner on campus, too, I think, plus all the initiates, and whoever they’d like to bring. Could be a hundred people, probably more.”

Asna stood gracefully, stepping directly into Osco’s personal space. “Grumpy friend, you must even smile at this.” He crept out his hands as if to form Osco’s mouth, carefully, like he lifted a scorpion. But something in the other boy’s eyebrows made him think better of it, and he sprung away. “Will there be drinking?” he asked, “and rich patrons?” He bounced around like a child with a full bladder, but Kale liked his enthusiasm.

“Drinking, certainly.” He smiled. “Rich patrons that require a potentially unskilled mercenary? Doubtful.”

“Poten-sha…what!” Asna recoiled as if slapped. “Did you hear pretty friend?” he asked, ostensibly to Osco, whose eyebrows said ‘yes, I heard him, and agree’.

“Give me shit bow,” Asna put his hands out, his tone serious.

Osco’s eyebrows half raised—a clear sign, for him, of actual interest—and he handed it over.

Asna examined and frowned, making clucking sounds of disappointment. “Shit-bow will do. Tell Asna who kill.”

Kale and Osco exchanged a look. “Who to kill. And why don’t you just kill the target.” Osco pointed at the straw-stuffed cloth bag shaped like a man.

The dark-skinned ‘mercenary’ shook his head. “Greatest warrior in world does not kill straw. No. Choose again.”

Kale rolled his eyes. “You can’t kill someone just to show us you could.”

Asna shrugged. “This is why I am great.” He dropped the weapon as if he’d forgotten what it was for, whistling as he marched off towards wherever it was Asna went.

“Nice pants,” said one of the local boys resting from practice, his group of friends snickering.

“My very large thanks.” Asna offered an improper bow, but otherwise didn’t miss a step, rounding the side of the practice field and disappearing into a crowd.

Kale watched his friend’s confident gait with something between disbelief, embarrassment, and awe. “Do you think he knows they’re mocking him?”

“Oh yes,” Osco said, his eyebrows unreadable, “he knows.” He picked up the discarded bow, notched an arrow, and sunk it widely off the target’s centre for the fifth time in a row— considerably worse than the local boys beside them.

Some were watching, and smiled.

“Let’s go.” Osco tossed the wood and string away as if angry, but his eyebrows never moved.

“Don’t let them bother you.” Kale picked it back up. “They’ve been practicing their entire lives for this. You’ve had, what, a few weeks?”

His friend stared, brow in his version of furrowed, then he blinked and looked away. His voice was soft.

“You should understand.” He took the bow back gently, jostling it in his hands like he was testing the weight and ripeness of fruit. “My people are from the Mesan hills.” He paused long enough to watch Kale, perhaps for understanding, but finding none kept on. “We were once an independent people, renowned for our warriors. But we were much too small to resist Naran. My grandfather faced an endless tide of war he and his brethren did not understand; a war not against men and wood and iron, but against gold. Mercenaries were hired from every side of the continent to destroy us. Merchants and kings were bribed to starve us of supplies. Our own people were turned to defect and abandon us.” At this Osco twisted the wood in his grip, though showed no other sign of anger. “They resisted, but uselessly. Now we are part of this ‘empire’.”

Kale tried not to show his surprise at the unprompted sharing, and dared not interrupt. Not once since they’d met had the boy truly spoke of himself, and all attempts to glean personal details were countered with contempt or silence.

His friend’s hands relaxed again on the curved wood of the ‘short-bow’, but his words became intense and quickly spoken, and Kale struggled to keep up.

“These farmers and scholars wield my people like a spear, terrifying their enemies with the threat of facing Mesanites. We train their soldiers, we lead their armies. And in recompense for our freedom, in payment for our obedience, they drown our old men in gold, like the mercenaries that killed their fathers.”

Osco’s face remained passionless, and he met Kale’s eyes. “Whatever I may say or do, I serve my people. Whatever else it may seem, there is nothing more. Remember that.” Then he looked back at the smug boys near-by, tossed down the bow, and stalked off as if in anger.

Aunt Kikay’s words came back to Kale, then, after she’d caught him in bed with Lani. “You are a child playing in an adult world.” It was said perhaps with pity more than judgment, but that brought no comfort, and the more he learned, the more he understood how true it was. How complex the world is, he thought, and how little I will truly ever know.

So how could he help them, learn from them and teach them, if he couldn’t even understand them? He put his hands inside the cuffs of his plain brown robes like he’d seen Amit do countless times, and walked towards his tree to think. Perhaps there was nothing more he could do, at least for now, to understand those he meant to spend his life helping. He was beginning to accept that. But there was something he could do in the meantime.

After a pleasant walk, sitting on the clean, trimmed grass, in the flickering shade of his fig leaves, Kale floated away with his burnt thoughts. He released his spirit into the crowded square, reaching out with his senses as far and deep as he could—touching the heat and sound and a hundred things he didn’t yet comprehend, marveling like a child who just learned to stand. But here, unlike the cave of Ru’s test, it was everywhere.

He felt himself pulled and contorted, tripping over threads of power like tree-roots that went up into the sky and deep in the earth, then walking down a stony beach in the dark. He grasped at nothing and fell, feeling a tightness in his chest, light-headed, then cold. His vision swam and darkened and his mouth dried up with the taste of blood. In the distance he saw his body sitting and ran towards it, imagining the windows and hoping to slip through before he’d been pulled too far by the invisible tide. But he couldn’t move. Suddenly he was trapped, alone, in a darkness and force he’d entered and didn’t understand, and then he was consumed.

* * *

Everything became heat and sound, but eventually Kale saw light. So much light—too much for one person to bear, and as it overtook him Kale tried to scream, and failed. He tried to cover his eyes and ears, then to crawl back again through the window of his mind and shut it behind him.

The whole world seemed to spin and turn, flying across the sky with him astride, little more than an ant clinging to the back of a whale. Yet there was more than just the sky. Above the sky he saw a cold, never-ending heaven filled with light, and below a roiling, fiery hell of warring giants. Then it wasn’t a whale he was riding, but the ocean-floor, valleys and peaks greater than Nanzu or the mountains of the Tong. He watched a tide sway as his roof, him trapped to the bottom, gasping and trembling in helpless fear.

Kale. A disembodied voice whispered in his mind, a dream within a dream.

“Kale,” it said, louder, more real, this time from a woman’s mouth. She lay on a bed with red silk sheets, clutching her stomach, covered in sweat. “Give me my child”, she said to a man kneeling beside her in tears.

“You will save her life, or you will all lose yours,” the man shouted to others in the room, and seemed to mean it.

“Fara-che.” The woman’s tone became half-scolding, half-pleading. “It isn’t their fault, you won’t harm them.”

The world moved again, and Kale lay down in her arms, maybe crying. “Everything will be fine, lovely boy. Shh, now. Shh, child.” She hummed to him, and he remembered the song—remembered a nurse-maid singing it when he was a boy and being dismissed from the palace.

His mother, for this is who it was, stopped the melody and retched. He heard the splash and saw buckets and jars full of vomit and blood.

“Get the child away, take him away!”

His father held her while she shook, begging her not to die. Farahi, Kale thought with disbelief, begging a woman, on his knees. He would do anything, his father said, maybe to the gods, maybe to her. She asked him not to take revenge, but he shook his head, tears in his eyes.

“Do not die, Hali, and there will be nothing to avenge.”

It was the first time he heard his father say his mother’s name.

“Kale,” it came again, but not from the woman’s mouth.

He felt something like water in his lungs and let go of the ocean floor, or whatever it was. I’m so tired, he thought, at last giving up all control, letting the current sweep him up and carry him away. I can’t fight it anymore.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

He recognized Li-yen’s voice, but couldn’t see her. I’m still by my tree. I’m in Nanzu and not dead and maybe me again. He focused on his breath and his lungs inhaled for what felt like the first time in hours. He felt moisture in the air, and though his eyes hardly worked he decided it was evening.

“You’re looking very serious, as usual.”

He opened his eyes and his mind felt like a muscle strained from too much weight. A brief flood of pleasure replaced his pain, then both sensations throbbed together in turns like two sets of navy rowers.

For a moment he seemed to forget how to speak, and he moved his dry lips with no effect and tried to focus his eyes.

Li-yen sounded embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I’ve disturbed you. Please, we can talk later.”

He didn’t know much, but he knew he didn’t want her to leave. “No,” he croaked, then swallowed and licked his lips and blinked, and tried to take general stock of himself. Toes wiggled, fingers, too. Good. And haven’t pissed myself, excellent.

“I like you disturbing me,” he said, which was sort of what he meant to say, but it seemed a little more…shit, honest.

“Then I’ll do it more often.” She smiled, maybe, or at least the blur that was her face moved, and she sat down on the grass in front of him, or maybe melted. He tried to smile back and hoped it didn’t look like he had a brain defect.

“Kale you look exhausted! Are you alright?”

He said yes, at least he thought he did. Let’s change the subject. “There’s a party. For me. I was going to mention it.” God curse my bloody unfocused eyes, I can hardly see her face. He paused and thought of the candle. But don’t actually curse them, please, Ru, I didn’t really mean it.

“So I hear. Sounds like quite the gathering.” She paused, her blurry face moving around. “And I wanted to say congratulations. I mean, it’s…well, amazing. To join the anointed. Er, to be one. Really, I’m…well I don’t even know what to say.”

“Thank you.” He tried to get up, which went better than he feared. His head swam and throbbed and his limbs felt stiff, but they worked well enough. Then, it occurred to him—“Sorry, how did you hear about the party? I’ve only told a few people.”

Li-yen’s face became slightly less blurry, and it looked confused. “It’s, er, tonight. And, there’s, well there’s hundreds of people going to the Rites building now…”

He focused and felt the passage of time in his stiffness, in his dry mouth, and his urgently full bladder. What the hell?

“Oh,” he said, “I guess I lost track of the day. I meant to invite you. Would you like to come?”

She smiled. “I would love to. Good thing I wore my party dress.”

Kale squinted, but even with blurred vision he noticed the bright red contours in the sun’s dim light. He saw no skin showing, except for her shoulders and calves, but no doubt she looked beautiful.

She was blushing and saying thank you, and he realized he must have said it out loud. Something is wrong with you. Buy time. “Well, I should go. I’m late for my own party.”

Her eyes gave him a once-over, and she raised an eyebrow. “You’re going like this?”

He glanced at himself and shrugged, though it turned more into a shoulder roll, and involved a series of popping sounds. “Robes are the only clothes I own.”

This was true. He’d given away his luggage to the temple on his first day for distribution to the poor—the last vestige of palace life shed like a snake’s skin, and quite happily.

A pained look crossed Li-yen’s face but she replaced it with a smile. “Robes it is. Shall I walk somewhat behind you, Your Worship, so your haggard face and dull appearance aren’t directly contrasted against my radiance?”

It took him a moment to find this funny. She’s right, I am too serious. “No, take my arm. Perhaps they’ll fail to notice me entirely.”

She took it, and he leaned in as if to be friendly, but really used her for support.

42

Asna sat on his cot and split a grape in half with a throwing knife. The thin, wood wall of his room was covered in pinned-fruit and sharpened blades, and it was fifteen feet away—the largest distance he could make in his tiny shithole they called a ‘student’s quarters’.

“Killing him outright would be best, but maiming him badly would do.”

The priest’s instructions had been clear enough, and there was no questioning the lucrative influence he would buy. If they actually thank me, that is, instead of just hanging me for murder.

This remained a very large ‘if’. His only assurance was the knowledge of the employer’s identity, but of course the man could just deny it, and who would take the word of a Condotian mercenary over a Naranian Great Priest? No one. Not even a Condotian. Especially not a Condotian.

Asna spun the hilt of his next knife in his dry hands again. He was told to make it look like a fight between students—a disagreement that got out of hand. But instead he could do it quietly and disappear, and at least then, if they didn’t intend to reward him, he could walk away whole. Such a waste, and setback. Such a chaotic swirling disagreeable mess.

And anyway, he liked the boy. He liked his humor and backbone, his far-away look and his innocent eyes, like a man committed to naivety by choice. Asna wasn’t fond of killing people he liked, and he hated killing anyone for free. The boy is a prince of a foreign land—a rich foreign land, and now an Anointed. He is valuable if he lives. His friendship might be rewarding.

This argument felt comforting, but of course, the priests were after him. Or at least some of them. And in any case Naranian priests were more like gangsters in robes, which ordinarily Asna liked, but not while they feuded, and certainly not while they leaned on him. And as like-able as the new prince was, he had no protection here—Kale was just a snot-nosed emperor’s toy without practical friends or guards or plans, and it seemed only a matter of time before the priests or someone else killed him, or hurt him so badly he may as well be dead.

They would hire other killers if not Asna. Naran had no shortage of knife-men. The emperor might fuss and chop off a few heads to show who was boss, but otherwise things would go on as before, minus a dead island prince and perhaps whoever tried to help him. And then there was the small matter of the priest’s leverage.

If Asna didn’t obey, they could—at the very least—remove him from the academy. So from a certain perspective killing the boy wasn’t exactly for free. It was to ensure his place here—the price of ‘protection’, the price to buy Asna more time to win a patron, maybe even at the priest’s recommendation. And if anyone understood a ‘protection fee’, well, it was a Condotian—it was Asna Fetlan Isha-Fetnal. So he couldn’t very well complain.

He sighed and threw his knife into the ruined, otherwise blank wall, imagining his father’s face as the grape split and juices dripped off the blade.

He would dress in blacks or attack from behind so the boy at least didn’t feel betrayal in his final moments. It was a small mercy, perhaps, but Asna could do this one thing for the kind-hearted island prince—something the other killers surely wouldn’t, or maybe couldn’t. He would make it quick.

* * *

After a piss that rivaled his Bato welcome, and a splash of cold water in his face from a fountain that looked like a dog, Kale re-joined Li-yen to face ‘his’ guests. She re-took his arm first, which both pleased and concerned him, in that order. You know almost nothing about her. Other than she makes you feel genuinely good. And, have you tried asking about her, you selfish prick? Also why are you talking to yourself in the third person?

“You’re nervous!” Her eyes sparkled, and she was absolutely right.

“I hate this stuff.” His sweaty hands and deep, intentional breaths probably gave him away, even if she wasn’t so damn perceptive.

“What’s the worst that can happen?” She nudged him with her shoulder, the contact impossible not to notice.

“I have a very vivid imagination,” he said, and she smiled. They pushed their way into the Rites building—the official ‘gathering area’ for all kinds of public and private events at the academy, and walked through a beautiful corridor of green, almost translucent rock to the hall.

Kale stared at the hanging portraits of men and women—mostly very young, or very old, dressed in rich, thick garments and adorned in jewelry colored like the rising sun. He followed the faces as they walked, reminded, uncomfortably, of the palace and seeing images of his ancestors all his life. Near the end, at the entrance to the hall, he stopped. Li-yen yelped as he crushed her hand. The last portrait, lit by torches and propped in the center of the vast room, raised and prominent, was his.

“Welcome, Anointed,” the boy at the welcome-desk bowed and held his hands towards the room politely, and a few guests near-by noticed and bowed as well.

People filled every bit of space in the hall, dressed in bright-colored dresses and overcoats, hair greased and held in place, faces painted, man or woman, rings and amulets on hands and necks. Some danced—in groups, even—and in strange, seemingly erratic ways. A group of musicians in one corner played something livelier than Kale had ever heard in his life.

He smiled and bowed awkwardly to the boy then pushed on ahead. “I’m going to need a drink,” he whispered from the corner of his mouth, and had a flash of taking wine from Eka’s tray, but fought it down. His eyes went around the room hoping for familiar faces, eventually finding Osco and Asna and a few other foreigners on the opposite side—by themselves, of course.

Many of the other initiates loitered or talked amongst themselves, but none were wearing their initiate robes, like he was, all in gaudier, rather more expensive looking fabrics.

“Who are these people,” he said, not really expecting an answer, “and who invited them?”

“They’re your guests, and I did.”

A thin, middle-aged woman with short hair, wearing something half-way between a robe and a dress approached him smiling. She bowed, eyes darting lightly from Kale to Li-yen and back, expression soft and controlled. She held out a silver cup.

Kale took it and returned the bow. “Thank you, and I meant no offence. This is all very generous—much too generous. May I have the honor of your name?”

The stranger smiled. “Well aren’t you polite for an uncivilized barbarian. My name is Nuo, and I have the honor of serving God as His Master of Rites.”

While she spoke he took a sip and realized it was water, then had to stop himself from downing the rest all at once.

Nuo eyes seemed to notice this, too, then scanned again shamelessly over Kale and Li-yen—their clothes, their faces, stopping at their linked arms. “What a cute couple. Who is your lovely friend, initiate?”

Li-yen bowed and didn’t wait for an introduction. “I’m a student of the Desk, your worship, and an Imperial Servant. My name is Li-yen.”

An imperial servant.

Kale nearly choked on his water. She was what Amit had pretended to be. A thing Kale still didn’t really understand, except that it seemed like a fancy word for ‘slave’. Blood rushed to his face at not knowing, and failing so utterly to ask her anything about her life.

The women made Naranian small talk while Kale tried to recover. His head still hurt, and he abandoned the world for a moment to just enjoy the sensation of drinking without drowning—of being alive and in a world where his senses didn’t overwhelm him entirely. Your father loved your mother, he thought, still trying to make sense of the visions, and her death broke his heart.

The knowledge felt too big to process now; he would need time to think. His only real addition to the conversation was to ask about his portrait, which Nuo then forced him to walk to, beaming while she said she’d had it done while Kale sat at his tree, and did he like it?

“Very impressive,” he said carefully, because he absolutely hated it, and had he known it was happening would have raged and fussed and made it difficult, even if in the end he had no choice. The likeness was good, he had to admit—though he’d been cleaned up to look, well, healthier. But it reminded him of the palace, the many portraits of Sri Kon’s kings and their broods—another example of the inequity of life.

“I feel like dancing. Care to join me?” He meant Li-yen, but he left it open, because who the hell knew what these people did or what their dancing customs were.

“Dancing is for the young, I think—please. We’ll talk later, Kale.” The older woman gestured at the floor and walked away.

Li-yen took his hand. “I would have thought you were too serious to dance,” she teased, but not really, and Kale decided he deserved that.

“Actually, I’m quite a good dancer.” He glanced at the strange, random-looking movements of the others and frowned. “Well, at least where I’m from. They might not think so.”

“You’ll be fine.”

She tugged at his hand, and he was fine, mostly, though it felt so strange not having any ‘order’ to the movements. Here people just shuffled around in a clump, chaotic and bumping together. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, his feet or his hips, so he watched the others and tried to copy them, and realized they were watching him, too. Not that he cared. But he saw some embarrassment in their eyes he didn’t understand, and when he got over worrying about his own bodyparts, he started noticing Li-yen’s.

She laughed and clapped and swayed back and forth, her dress hugging her curves and highlighting the slight red hue of her face. She blushed but danced regardless, all the prudish custom and ritual of her people somehow gone in the simple act of moving to a drum. He couldn’t stop watching her, entranced. She noticed.

Her long, dark hair merged in Kale’s mind and he saw Lani, but he burned those thoughts without hesitation. She’s married to your brother, now. And you’ll probably never see her again.

Then Li-yen’s eyes found his, and they said ‘what’s wrong?’ with undeniable concern.

‘I can’t hide much from you, can I?’ He tried to say back without words, then heard Thetma saying eat when you can eat and smiled, which she returned before taking his hand and walking off the dancing square.

His feet followed without hesitation, and he didn’t care that this was his party or who was watching, deciding he had to tell her how confused he was and why—decided he had to tell someone, anyway, and that he’d rather sit and learn more about this strange, beautiful girl than stand around with strangers. Perhaps he’d learn what being an Imperial Servant really meant. Perhaps he’d tell her why he was here—and maybe about the candles, and the spirit-walking, about Amit, and his father, and then perhaps he wouldn’t feel so alone.

She took him through a side-door in the hall, which apparently led outside, and the moisture in the air he’d felt earlier was now a light-spitting rain. They moved to a large, raised veranda that overlooked the small mountains and beyond them the capital, then out closer to the rail, still protected under the roof.

He looked out over the long drop of Chai-Ra, the Imperial Mountain that held most of Nanzu. It loomed over the plains and he could see a country-side filled with terraces of rice, all the way to Naran city proper. Dim lights covered the land to signal sprawling humanity, and if it weren’t for all the clouds, he knew the stars above would shine back like an improved reflection.

Li-yen stood close, her hand still in his.

“I want to tell you something,” he said. But where on earth to start? There was so much, and when it came right down to it, he hardly knew her. Would she run away as fast as she could? Would she ask if he’d hurt his head, like Tane had? He knew only she made him feel safe, and she was standing there waiting, and it was too late to back out. He had to say something.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

Oh God. Don’t even think about it. You said it, just move on.

She met his eyes, and of course she blushed. But she didn’t look away. I wish I could read her like she can apparently read me.

“Kiss me,” she said. “Kiss me the same way you said that.”

He tried to speak but failed, mind asking if that was even allowed, if he was betraying Lani, if he wanted this, if he was moving too fast and repeating the same mistakes. But he followed the feeling in his body, knowing whatever logic might say, that life was short and could end tomorrow and few things truly mattered. He kissed her.

He had to bend down, then wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and lifted her gently. The pressing of their bodies felt urgent, but not the kissing. He moved slow and careful, intentional and soft, and though he’d forgotten for a moment why he’d come out here in the first place, he knew that this was why.

Li-yen eventually pulled away and glanced at the ground, and Kale thought the sudden shyness odd. He lifted her chin because he didn’t want to stop just yet, feeling the height of the mountain and the vastness of the plain, feeling small as he had in the growing waves outside Bato, and the meaning of his own choices.

A coldness in the breeze stiffened his back, and straightened his shoulders. He’d felt it before—as a spirit watched by a shadow, a memory of fear, and danger. The warmth creeping through him dropped and disappeared, knowing some dark thing had turned its eyes upon him.

There are five of them, and they mean to kill you.

He recognized this thought as truth but couldn’t explain how, the same way he knew lies from a stranger, or the mood of a room.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

The voice sounded amused, diminished in the rain, but not sorry.

“This won’t take long.”

Kale recognized his attackers as martial students at once. They were strong boys, no doubt from good families—the Naranian version of marines. He’d seen all five of them before at practice-fields with Asna and Osco, laughing and playing with easy smiles like all the others. He’d never spoken to any of them.

Why would they want to hurt me? Kill me? What possible reason should we be enemies?

They paced up the veranda’s stairs with knives in hand, and Kale knew their reasons made no difference, nor his understanding.

“Run!”

His heart hammered and he grabbed Li-yen and turned towards the door.

Two more boys blocked it, still and quiet, torchlight glinting off the iron in their hands. They’d cut off the gaps while Kale and Li-yen were distracted. Now, they were trapped along the railing, nowhere to go but down the side of the mountain—hundreds of feet to a quick, rock-floored death.

You can burn candles. You can walk through walls. You survived Kwal and Father and Lo, you have to try.

His hope felt false and desperate. Kale was no warrior. His people were sailors and merchants, and a few moments in a ring with Osco had taught him how useless he was, even with a weapon. Still he tried to find calm as he backed towards the corner of the veranda, Li-yen behind him.

His ‘spirit muscle’, or his mind or whatever left his body, still ached with exhaustion. And he had no time. He could see the sweat on the student’s faces, the masks of confidence no doubt worn for each other and for themselves to hide their own trembling fear. He felt Li-yen’s hands balled into fists at his side, felt her shifting her weight to fight, though the killers were no doubt here just for him.

I’m glad I kissed her, he thought, before another piece of his mind took control and he realized: they’ll kill her too, just for seeing what they’ve done. They’ll throw her off the cliff or god knows what, and all she ever did was treat me with kindness.

His fingers curled into a chop, and he watched Master Tamo snake across a sun-lit floor, thrusting at nothing with a body honed for combat. He focused on his breathing.

Show them the Ching, said his mind, trying to float away. Make your last dance the Ching.

* * *

Asna knew Kale died the moment he left for the veranda. He excused himself with a grunt and followed, rustling past foreigners and Naranian elite in his traditional clothes.

Of course he’d seen the other students gathering. He’d seen their sweaty faces and clenching hands, stupid eyes goggling at their prey without caution or subtlety. His respect for his employer raised slightly—a wise killer always hedged his bets—but his respect for the Nanzu martial school lowered, if such a thing were possible.

Most of the boys weren’t really warriors, but they thought of themselves as such, and most hated foreigners anyway. Hiring them would have been simple. The chance to kill some far-away island prince without risk, on behalf of a priest? Of course they’d agree. Later they’d brag to their friends and puff up with hollow pride and be feared as killers, as if ambushing an unarmed boy-priest were a feat.

Asna couldn’t stop it, though. Not really. Maybe he could save the islander now, but not next time, or the time after that. He could get their first and make the kill himself, but he knew now there’d be no reward. As long as Kale died the priests would be happy and leave Asna well enough alone, whether he wielded the blade or not.

He decided to watch anyway so the killers knew they’d been seen. Perhaps later he would make them pay a little ‘silence’ fee, and drop one off a cliff to show his seriousness. He would intervene and end Kale’s suffering if they botched it or turned to torment. And he would protect the girl, perhaps, if they tried to rape or kill her. He owed his friend that.

Asna sighed and slipped past the guard the boys had clearly paid to keep watch. It was a dark, cruel night, and a dark, cruel world. He fingered the loops of his throwing knives and made sure each would slide free if the moment came.

A man must salvage what he can, he told himself. Especially the low-born son of a despicable man. Especially a Condotian.

* * *

Kale jumped straight into the fourth movement of the Ching. It brought his knee up and elbow forward in one swift movement, and to the obvious surprise of everyone, he lurched past the first boy’s guard and landed the hardest part of his elbow into soft nose with a crunch. The shorter student scrambled in reflex, then dropped like a stone, blood pouring out his face as he lay dazed.

The others came forward undeterred. Kale moved his feet from side to side in the small space he had left, hoping it made him hard to hit.

A knife gouged his shoulder—he didn’t know how deep—and hands grabbed for him. He tried to twist away, thrusting his knees and elbows, ramming at faces with his head, and though he couldn’t see he heard Li-yen scream and throw herself at one of the boys.

The would-be killers fumbled with their knives and kept looking at each other for courage, and Kale slipped off their grasps and hurled them back, far stronger from months of navy rowing. His attempts at the Ching felt useless, his plan to ‘flow’ across the ground like Tamo nonsense movement, the power and grace of the Master nowhere to be seen in the student.

Kale didn’t flow, he jerked, and the only thing that spared him for a moment was the incompetence of his attackers as they clumped together. He realized memorizing movements was no replacement for experience in a fight. He had no room here, no beautiful sunlight pouring through windows bathing him in warmth, no patient master pleased to let him try again. When he failed to dodge or protect himself he felt sharp pain in his side, another across his chest, another gouged into his cheek.

He heard Li-yen screaming, and in his failure, could only hate himself for bringing her here. If I hadn’t given in to whatever feeling pulled me, she would be safe. She was only at the party because of me.

He threw back another boy who’d grabbed him and pulled away, feeling numb except for the cuts, as if watching the desperate struggle from above. He saw his own death, if not now, then in moments, leaking out onto the veranda, or tossed from the mountainside like a coin. His muscles acted on their own, as if in memory, an inevitable draw towards rote to escape shock and helplessness.

He felt himself floating away like he’d burned his thoughts—felt his panic drift in the heat of the bodies against cool rain, in the pain and savagery of the present. His vision swam and the world surged with force Kale couldn’t see with his eyes, knowing somehow this second time he reached to it would be nothing like the first, that a thing once done held much less fear, as the mystery of the unknown vanished.

And this time, he had no need for caution. He threw open the windows of his mind and raced into the sunlight, grasping for anything and everything—the moisture, the mountain-top, the blurry movement and the sky itself.

It matters why, he remembered, no longer trying to protect himself as the knives struck home.

Lani was gone, he was banished and disgraced, and he knew in his heart that even if he lived he’d never return. All that was left was to protect Li-yen, the sharp-eyed girl who shouldn’t be here. All he wanted was to keep that blood off his hands and her still breathing and laughing, and so he let the knives come and closed his eyes.

Save her, Ru, please. Take me, and everything I have left, and just save her.

* * *

Asna watched the rain bend. That was the only way to describe it. The wind changed direction, sucking towards the fight hard enough to send chairs sprawling. Light itself from the near-by lanterns seemed to cast their brightness only towards Kale, the islander glowing as if suddenly the center of the world, all natural things paying homage, and then it released.

The boys thrashed and flew backwards, seeming to jump in unison, as fog, or steam, or something shot out in every direction.

Asna shielded his face in instinct, fingers splayed to see. The fog blew back his clothes and they flapped behind him as he braced his feet. He felt a coldness he’d never dreamed—not the depth of Naranian winter, no, but the wildest nightmare of a mountain-peak, an unending, pitiless thing that cared nothing for clothes or eyelids or turned faces.

Rain pooled and flowed like a river in the air, a thick jet that turned as quickly to ice. Asna watched two of the boys skewered by it—stuck, dangling from the wall, with great blue pillars driven through their chests like nails.

The others, the ‘survivors’ who weren’t cut apart looked half-frozen, ice thickly slathered across their red skin as they shook and jerked on the ground.

Sleet stuck to Asna’s clothes and hair. He turned his head slowly to see an icicle plunged into the wall mere inches from his throat. He reached out and touched it, just to make sure it was real, then remembered to swallow.

Kale collapsed, and the storm ended. His body dropped like one who’d been knocked harshly over the head with a club, his already bloody face bouncing off the wooden deck, and he lay still. The girl—who seemed utterly untouched—dropped beside him and called his name.

Very brave, Asna thought as he looked at her. If I wasn’t me, I’d probably piss myself.

He put away the impossible thing he’d seen and assumed it must be true, and real, and not some freak destruction of a vengeful island god. He weighed death and profit, and as always, quickly. The boy’s value has changed again. It has risen considerably.

It was the closest thing to loyalty Asna had. Life could become more interesting, he thought, laughing at the pleasure of potential greatness and glory. He knew exactly what to do.

* * *

“Don’t worry, beauty, Asna know exactly what we do.”

A Condotian bounded out of the darkness laughing like a maniac, which was, as far as Li-yen understood, never a good thing. His elaborate clothing fluttered in the wind, his flat, almost bovine face spread in a grin.

Li-yen had no idea how to react. She tried to ease Kale over and check his wounds and ignore the newcomer, except the foreigner started cutting wounded boys’ throats.

“Wha-what…stop!” She froze in horror.

The Condotian grinned and flicked a hand. “No trouble, beauty. Islander is friend. You solve this.” He gestured towards Kale, then slashed another boy with his knife.

Any one of the ‘events’ of the last two minutes was terror enough, but Li-yen embraced the numbness and focused on something she could do. She turned and lifted Kale up into her lap, failing to stop the shudder when she saw him.

His face had been cut from nose to ear on the left side, and blood leaked from half a dozen wounds all over his body. She swallowed and steadied herself, checked for a pulse and for breath, and stopped shaking when she found both.

“He needs help, get the priestess.” She hoped this ‘Asna’ was really a friend, and not here to kill Kale too.

“Yes. Good.” He wiped the knife on a dead boy’s shirt, then sprung away to do as he was told. Or so Li-yen hoped.

* * *

“Friend Osco.”

Whenever Asna started a conversation this way, Osco was about to be asked for help. He just waited.

“Other friend bleed over porch. Please do thing.”

Even worse Naranian than usual. And rather vague.

Osco glanced around the room to learn what he needed. Who’s watching? The priestess. Who’s not here? Kale and Li-yen.

“Asna.”

Osco found it was best to get the Condotian’s full and undivided attention before giving instruction.

“Yes, friend?”

“There are medical supplies in the building next to us—out the main door to the left. Go and find a black wooden box—there should be several. Take one, and don’t let anyone stop you. Bring it directly to Kale.”

The ‘mercenary’ opened his mouth, but then changed his mind and snaked through the crowd without a word.

Osco told the others he needed some air—lies were always best when they were close to the truth—then he walked without hurry towards the veranda.

So, the priestess, he thought. It was no secret the temple convulsed in panic over Kale’s ‘passing’ their little test. Everyone involved faced interrogation, including the students, and the Exarch’s investigator was about as subtle as a hammer. But then why make the portrait? Why throw a big party to celebrate his Anointment? There is division in the temple, then, Osco decided with satisfaction. And this priestess is against them.

But Kale was not the scheming type. He meant the things he said, and he walked in straight-forward paths whenever he could, so whatever happened in the temple’s test-room was not his doing. That, or it was actually a miracle.

Osco hoped for the latter. An actual miracle sending Ru’s priests into cynical spasms of unbridled suspicion would taste like a fine wine on Osco’s tongue.

He had seen the sun-god’s fire-weavers with his own eyes—the men and women Naranians called the ‘Anointed’. But he knew too the priests had some magic trick that fooled the ignorant and the willing, and that’s all it was, a trick that only they understood. Naran’s army used men and iron like any other, lit their arrows with burning pitch like any other, and never razed enemy camps or cities with holy flames.

He steadied himself for violence, then pushed at the hall’s side door, smelling blood and death at once. It would be better no doubt to avoid this entirely, he thought, but ignored it. The islanders of the South were rich and perhaps one day soon threatened by Naran. They might be useful allies. In any case Osco could likely keep himself from trouble if things looked grim, and if he had a chance to cause the Anointed harm, well…

Damaging or even destroying Ru’s clergy would not save his people, he knew that. But it might save a few souls from the fire-priest’s lies, and damnation. That, at least, was a start.

* * *

Two side-doors opened, and Li-yen felt a stab of fear, expecting more assassins. But an unarmed foreigner came through one, and the priestess the other.

Thank God!

Their eyes met in confusion, as if they weren’t together, then took in the scene. Nuo gaped at the ice-spears, the corpses, the frozen…everything, looking somewhere between disbelief and terror. The foreigner hardly blinked.

“Explain. Quickly.”

He crossed the veranda in long strides, stripping pieces of cloth from his shirt as he moved, then dropped to his knees next to Kale. His calmness brought reality back, reminding Li-yen she wasn’t hurt and could do something.

“I…he’s been stabbed. I’ve been trying to put pressure on the cuts but they’re too long, and I can’t rip this stupid dress because the fabrics too thick…”

Why do you feel like you need to explain yourself?

“Hold this.” The foreigner had no accent to speak of, and if he was listening to her or cared it didn’t show.

Li-yen held the cloth and felt numb. She couldn’t help but notice every speck of flesh showing from beneath the boy’s ripped shirt looked like bronze plate, and that his hands moved steady as a surgeon’s.

“Are you Kale’s friend?” she asked, pleased at least her voice didn’t shake. If Kale is dying, she thought, it would be better if the last people with him were friends. She blinked away the tears.

“Yes.”

The newcomer tied perfectly ripped cloth around Kale’s wounds, inspecting his friend like a cut of meat.

“Will he live?”

The priestess had finally ruled herself and come closer, and though the foreigners face didn’t change, somehow his annoyance showed in his eyebrows.

“We don’t know yet,” Li-yen said for him. “And before you ask, I have no idea what happened. I know only these boys attacked us, and it didn’t work out for them.”

Nuo wandered the veranda shaking her head, muttering ‘God’s light’ with her hand over her mouth. The Condotian returned with a black box, which he slid beside Osco.

“Cliff?” he said.

“Cliff,” agreed the other, though Li-yen had no idea what they meant, until with a groan the Condotian picked up a boy’s body, heaved it onto his shoulder, and then threw it off the mountain.

Nuo raised a hand in protest, perhaps too surprised to speak, then the corpse vanished into the dark.

“Leave one of them,” said Kale’s medic, without looking, flipping open the box and threading a needle. ‘Asna’ looked confused at first, and the medic couldn’t have seen, but explained as if he’d known. “Someone attacked Kale with a knife, yes?”

Asna clicked his tongue, and when he caught the priestess staring, he winked.

Nuo didn’t react to this, and looked entirely less horrified than she should, Li-yen decided.

“It’s clear you boys are the Anointed’s friends. That’s good. I want you to take him to my room on campus—quietly. Do you know where it is?”

Half-shirt-medic nodded, but kept stitching.

“You’ll find a guard at the door, tell him I sent you.” The priestess took another look around and shook her head. “Someone will find those bodies you dumped, but hopefully they’ll be so mangled it will be hard to understand what happened. I’ll deal with the rest, then come to you.” She turned to leave, but stopped. “I assume it goes without saying—say nothing, to anyone else.”

Li-yen couldn’t help but think this was directed at her, so she nodded, and then watched in grotesque curiosity as Asna slid a corpse off the end of a giant, horizontal, slightly melted icicle, and threw it into the darkness.

43

When Kale woke up, Li-yen held his hand, and someone sat on his head. Or at least that’s what it felt like. Every beat of his heart sent tingling pain through his body and echoed like a drum in his eyes and ears. But he got through it.

Then he got through the look of his slashed face in a mirror, and the news that he’d killed half a dozen teenagers with…flying ice, or fog, or something. Then he made it through the explanation that the Exarch himself had probably tried to kill him.

“Join the temple, they said, learn about Ru, they said.”

Speaking pulled at his stitches, and his bruised jaw ached.

“Stop talking, and stop moving.” Li-yen smiled but wiped at a tear, clearly happy to see him doing anything.

Later she brought him soup and rice, and every spoonful seemed to sear the flesh of his sewed-up cheek. She changed the bandages on his wounds and washed him with a cloth dipped in alcohol, and when he whined, water, even helping him to the chamber pot.

After a long, mostly restless sleep, Asna and Osco came, and then Great Priestess Nuo. They told him about the cover-up, the Exarch’s renewed search for him, and the ‘ongoing investigation’ of the test. They told him not to worry and to recover, and that he was safe here. But he wasn’t so sure.

Days passed in idle pain, mostly in solitude, or with visits from Li-yen, or Nuo’s silent guards and caretakers. He missed his tree, and his students. He knew that life moved on for them and hoped they were doing well in their exams. Sometimes he felt shame and regret for the dead boys on the veranda, but reminded himself that their choices alone brought them there that night, unlike with the palace guards, and he’d only wanted to protect Li-yen.

Without much success he tried to remember exactly what happened, and wondered if maybe the Naranian God was real, and had heard him. I remember the heat, and the light. Was it me who reached for it, or was it Ru?

Why a sun-god should kill with cold he didn’t know. But maybe it didn’t matter. He meditated to dull the pain, and pass the time. In honest moments he expected not to survive this intrigue, preparing at every door-opening to see assassins burst through with knives to finish the job. This frightened him, at first. He thought of the pain and helplessness, imagining the void of death or perhaps re-birth or hell or heaven, taking no comfort in these things.

But one day, I will die, he thought, and the sea and the mountains will go on regardless without me. This sometimes calmed him, and he knew until his wounds recovered he was helpless and his fate was beyond his control, and so he meditated and burned his thoughts, and drifted away with the ash.

After a few days Li-yen arrived with a stack of books, and solved the problem of his free time.

“You can still read, so you might as well read Ru’s laws and scripture—for when you go back to the temple.”

He’d thanked her and found a way to prop the books up without much pain, not bothering to point out that the leader of Ru’s temple wanted him dead, and that he could barely read.

Learning to speak the words had seemed easy enough. Naranians formed sounds and verbs for the most part more consistently than the Pyu, but they read backwards. Their alphabet, if one could call it that since they had several sets, contained thousands of symbols, and trying to learn them all made Kale’s head ache. Well, ache more.

“No that’s Heesha, not Kansha—words, not sounds, have their own symbols in Heesha.”

Kale shifted on his blood-stained bed. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. How can anyone learn them all?”

“It takes years, Kale. There are priests who don’t know the symbols for every word in these books.”

“Give it to me.” He reached, intending to toss it.

She fought back, trying not to laugh.

“The book dies.”

“It’s a holy book, and you’re a…bloody…Anointed!”

He let go and pulled her off her chair to his bed.

“I won’t break,” he said, hoping it was true, and leaned until he found her soft lips, forgetting the world, if for just a moment, when she kissed him back. He slid his hands over the thick fabric of her dress, greedy for life and touch until he felt her stiffen in his arms.

“You still have to learn the symbols,” she said, frowning down at him, panting slightly, and his lips grazed her ear and he kissed her neck until she shivered.

“What are you hiding under all those dresses,” he whispered, and she arched an eyebrow and kissed him again, then pushed away and sat rigid in her chair.

“Nothing you’re about to see.” She draped another ‘holy book’ across her lap, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Now, where were we?”

* * *

“We were discussing your direct disregard for my explicit instructions.”

Great Priestess Nuo stood a few paces away from the Exarch, very nearly on the spot his killers stabbed Kale half to death just a few weeks ago. He’d followed the party’s trail of breadcrumbs, no doubt torturing students with his goons, and of course it eventually led to her.

“Oh yes, I remember.”

She fanned herself and opened the top-flap of her Master’s robes to get air on her neck, looking around the veranda. Her assistants had cleaned all trace of the massacre, which pleased her—this was God’s house, after all—yet it also felt strange that so much blood and destruction should simply disappear.

The Exarch’s face jut forward as he stared, neck craned perhaps in disbelief.

He was such an ugly, petty little man, when it came down to it. Good with detail, yes, cunning and clever in his way, from fine capital families with priests in their line for centuries. But still, an ugly, little man.

“Tell me,” he put his hands on his hips like a parent scolding a child, “why shouldn’t I strip you of your rank and eject you from the temple-grounds before sun-set?”

How smug he is, she thought. He had the twinkle of an ‘I’ve got you’ look, unable to hide it, so brazen he’d even asked to meet her here—at the very spot of Kale’s attack—outside her building, where Anointed had held weekly prayers for hundreds of years.

He would have the evidence to destroy her, of course. Likely students to say—despite her small efforts to hide her involvement—it was Nuo who planned the party, and the portrait, not them. She wouldn’t bother denying it.

To save herself she should confess and say it was a mistake, fall down to her knees and beg, promising this despicable man she would be his creature as long as he spared her. No doubt he expected this, even hoped for it.

“Who arranged this meeting, Your Worship?”

The exarch squinted. “Don’t avoid the question.”

“Oh, very sorry, I’m not avoiding it, Your Worship. The answer to my question will answer yours.”

He rolled his eyes, no trace yet of doubt. “My assistant, obviously.”

“Ah. So, your assistant is the only person who knows we’re meeting, and he knew sometime in advance?”

He grunted.

“And who hired and trained your assistant, Your Worship?”

The man’s face blanked. He broke his stare to glance around. “The Administrator. What of it.”

Nuo smiled. “And I suppose, because it is convenient, it’s your assistant who sends for those mercenaries of yours, that we all assume are lurking in the bushes at any given moment?”

His eyes searched shrubs and trees and stone pillars and far-away doors and pathways, but if he felt fear he hid it well. “So we’re alone. Very good. What is your point, Nuo?”

She clenched her jaw, tired of the charade, tired of the man’s rudeness and failure to use her title and treat God’s holy places with even the pretense of respect.

“Oh, but we are not alone, Jinga.”

Kale’s Mesanite friend Osco stepped from his hiding spot behind the veranda carrying a long, thin club.

“Do you even believe in God, I wonder?”

She followed as he backed away looking for a path to flee. She watched as he understood his trap, his betrayal by the mountain, just like Kale.

“Bao will kill you for this. You can’t possibly get away with it!”

He raised his hands, perhaps in disbelief, perhaps committing uselessly to fight for his life.

You didn’t even bother to threaten me with God’s wrath, she thought. I suppose that’s my answer.

“No, Jinga.” Nuo gestured to the black, metal club in Osco’s hand, which Jinga soon recognized as his little dog’s toy, and paled. “Worry yourself only on finding God, and perhaps, in His infinite wisdom, He will grant you the power to fly off that cliff.”

She gestured with her fan, and her old enemy tried to run.

Osco lunged and swung the cudgel with a speed and violence, no, a delight, that shocked even her, hard tip cracking loudly against Jinga’s skull. She looked at the killer and wondered again if she should kill him, too, but thought no, not for now, he is the Anointed’s friend and ally, I will wait.

She watched the former Exarch, the man closest to God in all the world, tumble down the mountainside. He didn’t scream—perhaps he was unconscious—and she hurried forward beside the Mesanite to peer over the railing, where they watched him splatter on the rocks below together.

44

A week after the attack, Kale learned Lani had a son. One of Nuo’s silent guards bowed and handed him a letter with his afternoon meal.

“Kale-che,” it started. “I’ve had your brother help me send this letter in secret, and at the greatest possible speed. If it ended up in the wrong hands it could destroy us both.”

She told him his brother was gay and always had been—that he was incapable of being with a woman, and that she hadn’t been with anyone but Kale. She told him she loved him, that Tane would protect them and let them be together, and that their children would protect the Alaku dynasty.

“The son is yours, my love, I’ve named him Thao, after his grand-father.”

He stared at it a long time.

“We can have the life we wanted. You said you would come when I called. Come home. Come home to me.”

His heart soared and fell in turns as he read it over and over and tried to make some sense of it. Surely, his brother couldn’t have agreed. Lani would not understand, perhaps. She didn’t know Farahi like his sons did, she hadn’t been there that day at the surgeon’s table, when he promised to strike down all his children if they turned against him. But Tane had.

So how could he possibly be so stupid, even to send the letter? Father would never accept it, not so soon. And even if somehow he did his paranoid eyes would watch them every moment, and if they tried to deceive then life would become hiding and whispering in the dark, terrified, and not for themselves, but for their children.

Tane’s afraid. He thinks he needs me to give him more sons. He thinks he has no choice.

The sadness for his brother, and the longing to return to his home and a fantasy version of his childhood and Lani broke his heart. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t put the people he loved most in that kind of danger, and then wait, helplessly, until the mistake cost them everything.

Tane would learn what he had to do to make children. The details of what that might involve made Kale close his eyes and burn his thoughts, and if he was honest he felt a swell of relief and pleasure at the knowledge that Lani was thus far his and his alone. But this, too, felt childish. Gay or not Lani was his brother’s wife now—the future queen of Pyu.

What would be gained by Kale’s return? His own selfish version of happiness? And Lani’s—who you swore to serve.

Yes, true—he’d sworn. The oath of a foolish teenage boy in love, another ‘lover of the rock’.

He’d meant it then, and still did. But going back wouldn’t serve her. She would forget him, in time. Her son would still be crown-prince of Pyu—he’d given her that, as long as she didn’t write any more foolish letters. She would be free even to move on and find love, if she chose to risk it, and still live comfortably in the palace with her husband, if only as his friend, without the extra scrutiny Kale’s presence would bring.

And for his own life—with his strange, inexplicable powers, should he not strive for more than to just serve her? Should he not use whatever gifts God gave him to serve more than just one princess he’d happened to grow up with? Even if he loved her? His oath felt like selfishness now. Small-minded and shallow. Pyu was but a small part of a large world full of suffering, and by virtue of his gifts, Kale knew now he owed them, and God, as much as he owed Lani, or his family.

So he burned the letter and all thoughts of it, wishing Lani and his brother only long life and happiness. He hoped one day to see them again.

After that, and over the next few weeks, he felt he’d regained some control of his life. Day after day in Nuo’s room the assassins never came, and the death he expected never found him. One day the priestess entered and bowed low and said “the investigation is over, Initiate, you may re-join the temple in your room.”

When he gawked she smiled and waved her fan and told him about Bao and the Exarch. Their deaths were considered ‘accidents’; new priests would be assigned ‘with the Emperor’s help’ next year, and Kale’s status as ‘Anointed By Ru’ was confirmed.

Asna and Osco helped him dress and took him back limping to the temple, joking and laughing as if nothing ever happened. He ignored the eyes, the whispering. He attended his classes and struggled to keep up to sweaty-faced priests as they preached about Ru and the holy books, or ‘Analects’, which were the written version of speeches made by favored Anointed in Naranian history. He learned about ‘right thinking’ and ‘right acting’, embracing one’s place in community and society and abhorring violence or even rudeness. And for a powerful empire like Naran with so much territory and so many soldiers, it felt almost comical, quaint—a relic of simpler times. Farahi surely would have rolled his eyes and dismissed it all as weak, hypocritical nonsense. But Kale did his best to listen and understand.

The other acolytes tripped over themselves to give him a seat, or to welcome him at tables or prayers, or to ‘shyly’ offer him friendship. Rumors about Bao, the Exarch and the martial students swirled. Between Kale’s disappearance and his wounds, the vicious red scar across his face, everyone knew he’d been involved. Stories about what exactly happened differed, some saying Kale was only an agent of the emperor and that somehow the former Exarch had displeased the Son of Heaven. But no matter the tale, the students generally agreed: God’s Exarch warred with a foreign initiate, and God chose sides.

When he felt well enough he returned to his students, and his tree. They welcomed him smiling and took their places on the green grass, and he led them into breathing just as before, pleased to see some had practiced in his absence. Soon his ‘students’ doubled, then tripled, and he had to raise his voice for all to hear. At first it seemed only ambitious fellow initiates who perhaps sought his favor, but began including boys and girls he’d never met, and eventually even teachers, and junior priests.

His fellow initiates began to wear their robes at all times, like he did, even giving money to the poor through the temple, or directly. They began eating fish and demanded it be served at the dining hall. They walked like he did, exercised like he did. If Kale covered his mouth as he coughed in a certain way, the other initiates would try.

It followed him from sun-rise to sun-set, curious eyes and gestures, usually shyness but sometimes boldness. As a prince he’d known it before, but never felt it useful. He had always chosen to hide and let the attention disturb him. But now, he thought, often before he drifted to sleep at night, how can it be used for good?

He began to accept whatever mysteries let him access his ‘spirit’ could not be ignored, even if it was dangerous, because to do so was fear and fear alone. Next to his tree, very gently, he drifted away with the ash of his burned thoughts, and sought control. Each time he did so he found it easier, the intensity dimmed and clarified, the strands of power separated and cleared.

On the great Naranian mountainside he found power waiting he could never have dreamed—power he still could only touch with his fingertips, and even then it surged through him and stood his hairs on end. With every moment spent reaching for it, this power pushed him further from the safety of shore, further from a world with rules he’d thought he understood. And somehow, he knew, in time and with practice, it had only begun.

Thank you, Ando, for teaching me your Way. And thank you, Ru, for teaching me I am nothing. He had to smile. And thank you, Master Lo, for teaching me it still matters why.

Fall came to Chai-Ra, and the afternoon Nanzu sun rose high behind grey clouds. Kale ‘walked’ among the hundreds of students and hundreds more looking on, feeling their bodies blend with the chaotic current of the sky, knowing without seeing that above it all stretched a never-ending void filled with life and death, nothing and everything—that a great, roiling ball of heat far away seethed with endless power—not a beast cut by the hero Rupi, but a fire that burned and spread the heat of life.

A sun-god, Kale thought, and smiled. That’s why your ancestors taught you to test us in the cold, dark cave, priestess. Because reaching that power is harder there.

He focused first on his breathing, then reached out and drew warmth from the air, from the bodies, and the earth, as he’d been practicing for months. The group of students before him swelled larger than ever, crowding the grass as far as his voice could reach, urged on by friends and colleagues who’d whispered as he intended that today would be something special. It was time.

They believe God shows himself in the flames. The common people call their Anointed Flame-Weavers, and I have seen their parlor tricks.

“Fellow students.”

His voice was naturally soft, and it was difficult to ensure they all heard, but the silence that followed stretched from the Northern gate to the four paths around the crowd. Kale sat beneath his tree, in his usual spot near the roots, legs crossed and looking out towards the sun. Are you God Himself? He wondered. His servant? Neither? He supposed it made no difference.

Even now he felt the Exarch’s legacy written across his skin—the tightness of the scars that nearly claimed him. He wondered if such a thing as fate or destiny existed, or if only luck had brought him here.

Bystanders looked about at the crowd and slowed. Scholars to merchants, students to masters, all wondering what turned the world quiet.

“Ru’s priests say that I am Anointed by God. They say that this is the proof.”

He extended a hand with his palm up, and reached for a single strand of warmth. A tiny thread in the tapestry of the world, he thought, which could exist or not. Nothing, like me, like all of us—nothing at all.

A single stream of flame flared from his hand, just missing the canopy above him, flickering red and orange against the dullness of the heavens. Some students gasped—but most had seen an Anointed do the same in one of their yearly rituals. It was a miracle, yes, but a common one.

“Whatever grants me this power,” he called, “I assure you—it is not Ru’s teachings, for I hardly know them.”

At this a few watchers exchanged looks—at least those who could bring themselves to look away from a hand spewing flames.

“And there is more. Much more.” Kale closed his eyes, and his spirit extended its arms high behind him. “How would the Anointed, the ‘Flame-Weavers,’ explain this, fellow students?”

Show them, God, or whatever you are, show them with me.

Kale reached into the streams of wind as high as he dared, seizing cold wetness as if it were some physical thing, and pulled. It raced towards him. Darkness overcame the gathering as the sun’s rays drowned in grey mist, and many covered their faces or pointed at the grouping clouds.

Rain fell gentle, and calm, and cries of wonder mixed with the sound of water on brick. No one ran for cover. The students and others stood in the strange shower in disbelief, some with hands or tongues out to catch the drops. Kale let it bend around him so that he alone remained untouched and dry.

They must hear me over the sound. Can you do this, too, God? Can you change a sound as you can change water into ice?

He had never tried, but now caught in the throes of a power he felt could alter the very fabric of the world, he could see no reason why not. He took the tiny, almost invisible force from his throat and hurled it out, spreading it thin.

“I am not divine. I am not God. And I can teach you what I know, if you will listen.”

The sound didn’t magnify, as he’d expected—it whispered quietly in every ear, as if Kale sat there beside, speaking only to them. Many flinched and looked about, bewildered, and he only wished he could explain. He didn’t expect understanding, or casting aside of beliefs, or truly anything at all. He only knew a truth that must be shared. He believed, no, knew his power was not some special gift, for he himself was nothing special. The flame and ice and voice and spirit were only some fortunate insight, the shared and blended wisdom of different peoples and ancestors, an understanding of the world and of the nameless forces which moved it. And, he believed, there was no reason he couldn’t teach others.

You were right, Father. The world is hard, and cruel, and ruled by power. Power now understood and controlled by men like you. Perhaps it’s time that changed.

* * *

Amit Asan, First Chancellor of Naran, listened as the emperor read a report from his spy in Ru’s temple. They sat alone in the marble throne room, save for the Emperor’s spymaster and bodyguards.

“I had been monitoring Prince Ratama’s sessions with increasing interest, and on this occasion was physically present. The foreigner first produced the miracle of flame, as easily and convincingly as any Anointed of God, but he was not finished. He closed his eyes, raised a hand, and otherwise idle clouds summoned above us like servants, pouring rain over the courtyard except on him. All around me, the students and passers-by were roused to what must be described as religious fervor.”

Here, Amit’s nephew looked up and met his eyes as he stressed the word. He read on.

“Prince Ratama spoke, and even at a distance I heard his words clearly above the din, as if he sat beside me. They were as follows: ‘I am not divine. I am not God. And I can teach you what I know, if you will listen.’

Having apparently reached the end, the most powerful man in the world folded his letter neatly and leaned against his padding. “Is your man prone to exaggeration, Master Joon? Or unnecessary alarm?” He glanced briefly to his side.

Naran’s spymaster shook his head. Master Joon was a furtive, greasy son of nobility—and damn near useless as far as Amit was concerned. But perhaps this was the point.

“This servant’s man is most certainly not, Your Excellency. Zao-Yu is a trusted set of the Imperium’s eyes and ears.”

The emperor returned his gaze to Amit.

“Was there some evidence of such things in Pyu, Uncle? Can their people truly do this?”

Amit felt the same stab of frustration that came in all discussions with his nephew on religion and other superstitious nonsense.

“No, Excellency. There was no evidence at all. Prince Ratama solved mundane problems in mundane ways at all times in my experience. Further, his supposed ‘sorcerer-king’ father displayed no magical powers whatsoever.”

It was no easy thing to say this without showing genuine disdain and condescension, but he tried.

“Then how do you explain this, Uncle?”

Amit shrugged. “I cannot, Nephew. But it seems clear to me that Prince Ratama could not call flames from air until he arrived at a temple of men and women who say they can. And remember that his people are very able seamen—it’s possible this rain was a clever trick. A well-timed use of predictable winds. He might have ways to read such things, and he is a very clever boy.”

“But how did he keep dry? And how did he project his voice, Uncle?”

Keep calm. Keep your voice calm.

“Perhaps he determined a spot beneath the tree which he knew would largely protect him from the rain, Nephew. Perhaps he had friends in the crowd who whispered his words at the precise moment, and therefore made it seem as if he whispered throughout the crowd. If the listeners already started to believe, and were distracted—even a trusted man may be deceived. As I said, the boy is clever.”

The emperor nodded and settled his restless leg, a step back perhaps from taking heads. Master Joon licked his lips and wiped his eyebrows, but he was wise enough to remain silent.

“Well, if we assume this was some grand trick, Uncle, it still does not explain why the boy did it.”

Amit fought his smile and thought perhaps the same reason I kicked beehives as a boy, but knew his nephew was a very different man, and would not find this comforting.

“Prince Ratama dislikes priests.” Amit spread his hands in the air. “He said as much to me. And with whatever happened in that temple with the clergy and their…re-shuffling, it probably annoyed him. He might have simply decided to annoy them back. His effectiveness is why I brought him.”

The emperor’s voice rose and he shifted forward in his seat, his whole body at once exuding power and authority, leg quiver and expression mastered. Amit felt a stab of pride.

“Annoying priests is one thing, Uncle. And frankly, not a bad thing, but claiming magic powers and suggesting they can be taught is altogether different. Unacceptable, even. Heresy, in fact.”

“Of course, Excellency.”

Amit bowed and would have prostrated himself if his knees were better, knowing surrender best in such moments. He waited for further chastisement.

“And what will the people say, I wonder, if they believe there is a foreigner capable of making fire and rain from the sky? Perhaps, they will think, it is a clear sign that God grants him the Mandate of Heaven. Perhaps, they will think, he should sit on the Imperial throne, and send the rain to grow their crops.”

Amit outstretched his hands to display defeat, but really to regain control—a tactic he’d often neglected as a younger man. “He has grossly overstepped, Your Excellency, but I assure you he has no such grand ambitions, nor understanding of his offense. I’ll speak with him, and put an end to it.”

He very much hoped this was true, though his own spies in the temple sent disturbing reports of priests ready to accept the boy. After his little display in the square, their Master of Rites had crafted plans to announce him as a new prophet, and put his words down as a fifth Analect, or holy book, to be taught to future generations. Such an announcement of course would be her death, and certainly the boy’s, and who knew what else.

Amit hoped this was only precaution—a possibility out of fear that perhaps the Emperor would accept Kale, destroying the priest’s leadership if they did not. Ru’s clergy already feared Yiren’s distaste for their authority, and his subtle threats to install new leaders repeated yearly. But Amit knew these to be idle. He disliked their power, yes, but it remained spread amongst different families and little threat to him, and gave the nobles something to compete for.

The emperor stared, probably hoping to convey his seriousness. “You like the boy, Uncle, I know, which is why I come to you and not just Joon. But this goes far beyond my interest in Pyu. See to it. Immediately.”

He didn’t bother adding ‘or else’.

45: Spring. 428 G.E.

Hundreds of men stocked Ruka’s new ships for war. He watched from the stony beach. He’d built them larger than anything in the Ascom—his Kingmakers, because they would need considerable space for plunder, and captives. He’d copied the overlapping-plank hulls of the Northern cargo ships, but made them longer with two tall masts cut from single trees. He’d surrounded the holds in animal skins to keep out rain, maximizing space by having his men sleep on the deck in leather bags, which they were used to anyway. Most importantly, he’d re-imagined the sails.

Ruka’s first trip North nearly killed him. For days his coastal vessel lost the wind and sat helpless, pushed and pulled by the sea while he could only watch and wait. If he’d had more supplies, maybe, or men to row, perhaps this could be overcome. But still not for long without vast storage and a large crew, and not with any kind of speed.

Triangular sails, though, instead of squares, could turn further against the wind. And with a combination of squares and triangles, overlapping on two different masts as he’d built into his Kingmakers—Ruka knew the wind would be more ally than foe. More like the birds, he thought, and still smiled.

He’d changed the material, too. They used linen now, which had longer fibers and held stronger than cotton, and weighed much less than wool. And like the Northerners, he removed the frames. His builders had balked, and the complex system of ropes used to support those sails had terrified the sailors. But they learned. Ruka only hoped the masts didn’t rip apart in high winds. Perhaps I should have constructed spares.

“My lord.”

Tahar—one of Ruka’s original retainers, approached with head lowered in respect. He had very usefully managed to survive Alverel, and Egil found him buried in a Southern town, waiting. “Chief Halvar ‘demands’ to speak with you again.” His tone made it clear what he thought of Halvar demanding anything, but he could be relied on not to show it when he shouldn’t.

Ruka didn’t move his gaze from the ships and the men loading them. “Send him here.”

The falconer said nothing more, and left to obey.

With Ruka’s silver and runes, buying materials, expertise, and labor had been nothing. But the secrecy and location to do it without attracting attention had been hard. He’d recruited one of the lesser Northern chiefs—used his docks and shipyards to prepare, paying him handsomely and promising half the spoils, though the man made no investment. Ruka would have happily paid more, promised more. In the end, it made no difference.

When he returned with foreign women—women he would let his followers choose—loaded down with more wealth from a single raid than half the Ascom chiefs had combined, every warrior without great names would flock to his banner. The age of priestesses and chieftains is nearly over, he thought. And I will be their king.

He would show the people such exotic and abundant riches that all current authority would be helpless. He would sell them a vision of the future that made Galdra’s law and order a cold, dreary nightmare, and the great chiefs would join, or die. The priestesses would support him or become irrelevant. The only threats were assassins.

Ruka looked to the sky. Assassins, and perhaps the weather.

“Bukayag. You will be leaving today, then?”

It felt like dealing with a child. Every day for weeks the same question, or some variation.

“Yes, Chief. I intend to.”

The man’s relief was revolting. He was a leader living in terror—afraid the priestesses would find an outlaw and heretic in his lands undisturbed. He didn’t even have the dignity to mask that fear.

“I’ll be sending one of my sons with you—he’ll be my voice, and I expect you to show him the same respect you’d show me.”

That shouldn’t be hard. “We didn’t discuss that, Halvar.” Ruka didn’t really care, but he disliked the man, and still debated killing him when the time came.

“It’s not a request. He’s boarding your ship now with a few retainers.”

This managed to tear Ruka’s eyes away from the clouds. He stared down at the old, pot-bellied coward who was his ally, reminding himself that small dogs often barked at larger breeds. He held it until Halvar shifted and looked away and glanced around for his warriors. Then he smiled. “As you wish. Is there anything else?”

The man’s voice wavered, to Ruka’s pleasure. “No, only what we agreed. I wish you luck.”

Luck? Yes, I’ll need it. The winds and storms could smash his ships or blow them far off course. Or he could find a bigger force when he landed, or a fleet of ships full of sailors with ten times his men’s skill and experience.

He knew the chief expected him to die—that he must dislike the son he was sending, and hoped this would be the end of him, too.

It seemed incredible that even now the man wouldn’t believe Ruka’s story. Every day he watched these alien ships constructed before him. What possible explanation could there be except new men with new ideas? Better ideas?

His disbelief had nothing to do with his faith, of course, and everything to do with his pride. He believed his whole life this land of ash was all the world, and the idea he’d been so wrong—that his father and his grand-father and everyone going back a thousand years had all been wrong—was too much to bear. The squat little chief ambled away for the last time having never asked how long the journey would take, or when Ruka expected to return.

I will scour this place of your kind, ‘Chief’. I will cull the world of cowards, and the future will belong to the bold.

Ruka walked to the busy docks, slowing the men as they moved around him with respect. He’d asked Aiden and all his other retainers to prepare their ships, each responsible for one, each promised their own piece of paradise to distribute to their warriors as they saw fit when the time came. Ruka demonstrated his trust for them as much as possible, knowing in the times ahead he would need good men and sharp minds besides his own. And so the men fought to prove their loyalty.

I will make the best and brightest lords of all, bowing only to me, and together we will build the world anew.

His eyes found Egil and his ex-priestess lover, stowing themselves unhappily on Aiden’s ship. He considered again why he decided to bring them and still didn’t like the answer. He’s our witness. The only one who saw the start. You want that, just admit it.

He had to. It was true. He’d even built a hall of records in his Grove—a building to keep his deeds and words, and a true history of his people that would never be forgot. One day I will gift them the truthful records, and not the fiction. I will teach others to read and write and have them continue the tradition for all time.

For he knew the Ascomi must not forget the past, as they once had. They must not forget how to cross the seas, or rule themselves, or how to raise their children in warm homes with proper diets. They must never forget how to make their young men loyal and strong, like their Northern ‘neighbors’ had, which was just as dangerous.

“Whoa,” he said, putting his hand on Sula’s flank as the men settled it on deck. “My mighty friend,” he whispered, patting his nose, “do not be afraid.”

He had searched the chiefdoms for the stallion on his return, and would never leave him again. I did not realize your value, proud Sula. I will not forget.

He hoped the animal would survive the crossing, though he’d put it to stud as soon as he found it, and already had several colts. They will grow and rise and make the future strong, like my people, he thought.

He hoped, too, his new knowledge of the weather and navigation would make this voyage easier. He had learned much in the North with men of books, and men of sail. We’ve been behind for so long. But soon that will change.

Many eyes followed him now. He had tried and failed to grow accustomed, still feeling the gazes crawl over his skin as if for weakness or flaw. He locked this foolishness away. His men formed lines on his ships, canvass bunched and raised, lines tied and secured and men ready to push out. He walked to the front of his flagship, built no different than the others, running a hand along the rough surface of the rail. He looked out to address his watchers.

“My brothers,” he called, thanking whatever god or spirit or random chance gave his voice such strength, and thanking Egil for showing him without realizing how to project it from his gut. All voices stopped but his, all movement ceased, but still he waited to build their attention, their sense of strangeness, to capture the moment in their minds for years to come. His timing, he knew, his tone, the volume—it all mattered.

“Are you ready to be legend?”

The cry swept his ship and down the line like a wave. Men stomped their feet and howled, and it pleased him enough not to worry about the planks beneath them. Sula snorted, bored.

“Do you have the courage to conquer paradise?”

The volume increased, the men eager to show their fearlessness before the others.

“Captains!” Ruka called over the din as the rowers took position to push out. “Follow me!”

His few hundred fanatics, outlaws, and dishonored fell to their work, pushing out to the unknown behind their new prophet, unfurling sails and finding their seats, as ready for death as men could be.

Ruka watched the horizon and smiled at the birds, imagining a certain Northern king in his hands, twisting and popping in agony while his family watched.

“I’ll see you again soon,” he whispered in the Sri Kon dialect, remembering prison and savagery and a thousand things. “I will keep my word, king of Pyu.”

46

Amit sent a boy ahead to warn Kale he was coming. He’d suggested they meet in the observatory—a tall, isolated place in the East wing they could be alone to talk. Anyway, Amit liked it there.

He smiled, realizing his pace had increased, no doubt in pleasure to be seeing his young friend again, and also seeing the academy. There’d never been time for wives or domestic things, and so he had no children—well, he probably had some, on the road in rebellion with his brothers there had been women. But then, it was war. If he’d known most of their names then he didn’t now. If he’d ever been in love he’d tucked it away beneath the glory of his struggle.

Not my fault my brother received the mandate of heaven, eh? Not my fault the old Emperor was a syphilis-ridden monster. Not my fault he murdered our parents.

Had he not been a rebel, Amit would surely have lived his early life here at the academy. Perhaps he’d have gone on to serve the imperial court, or the academia, or helped build roads and bridges and cities. Instead he’d put his mind to the deaths of his countrymen, and the building of graves; he had subdued a tyrant, then dealt with Naran’s warmongering neighbors. How much blood is on my hands, I wonder? And does it matter?

Things were so different, now, as an old man in reflection. All the causes, all the great ideas, all the reasons for things—they just seemed to sound so hollow. The excuses of the young. At some moment in his life he could no longer remember, glory became a dying ember in a fading fire, useless without peers to share it with.

Who will remember how we rose against the will of all? Who will remember how my brother wooed the most powerful woman in the world? Won himself an empress with her husband freshly dead at his hands?

Ah, and what a woman. But these thoughts saddened him now. For the dead were forgotten, the injustice of the past but a dream, and the old, beautiful empress locked away in an ivory prison by her own son, who believed her a danger and a traitor, and maybe rightly so.

Amit climbed the long stairs up towards the highest peak of Nanzu. It wasn’t far from the Rites building—the place Kale was supposedly attacked and wounded, and he felt a little pang of guilt for this. Sending the boy here was his idea, after all, but then Kale seemed to find trouble all on his own. Everything should have been arranged.

He was supposed to be trained as a priest, receiving a top-rate education about the history of the continental world, and when he was older and wiser he would embrace the Empire and serve as liaison to his country. Amit even sent him a sweet, pretty girl to make him forget his old life—to fall in love and give up his princess, and if he’d wished he could have married her later.

But now there was all this nonsense about miracles. There were dead priests and students and public heresy, or blasphemy, or some other word ending in y that meant executions. Amit had to smile anyway—it was, after all, why he liked the boy. He reminded an old man of older days—of revolution and whacking beehives and laughing in the face of consequence, of setting oneself against everything and everyone and somehow winning.

His nephew didn’t understand because he’d been born with power. He was born with a golden club in his hand, which he learned to swing beautifully—sometimes he even knew when. But power shifting of any kind frightened him because nearly all power was already his.

“Master Amit.” The gentle voice surprised him, but it was a good surprise.

“I’m afraid that’s actually Councillor, my young friend.”

Kale stood at the top of the stairs—right before the main entrance of the observatory tower. They met eyes and grinned, though Amit struggled to keep his gaze from the deep scar on Kale’s cheek.

“I see you’ve been getting yourself into more trouble.”

Kale bowed. “I have. And are you here to get me out again?”

Amit’s grin turned into a smile. “Yes, I suppose I am.”

There was something different about the boy, that was clear. He looked older, for one thing, which just reminded Amit how young he actually was, and how bloody old Amit felt. But the age wasn’t just a passage of time anymore, it was a confidence. Kale’s plain initiate robes hung about him like a second skin, his posture easy and still. But it was his eyes that held Amit’s attention. They were the same brown color, the same shape, but they didn’t drift or hide as they once had. They sought Amit out and stayed—purposeful. Yes, that was the word.

“Why don’t we walk up the tower, and speak with a view?” Kale didn’t wait for an answer, jutting out his arm like he had when he walked an old man along a dark beach.

Amit took it, and as they moved through the small, paved grounds to the entrance, he noticed two foreigners waiting near-by. One was certainly a Condotian—nomads, bandits and mercenaries that plagued a dozen nations throughout the central continent—the other he couldn’t quite tell, but both looked like warriors.

“Friends of yours?”

Kale glanced over as if he’d forgotten. “Ah, yes. I’m popular this afternoon. They wanted to speak and wouldn’t take no for an answer.” He winked. “I’m making them wait.”

It occurred to Amit then that he was alone, and mostly unarmed, but if they were Kale’s friends he had no fear. The path up through the white-stone observatory was a spiral staircase, as clean and beautiful as Amit remembered it, and there were half a dozen balconies along the way separated by short flights. Unlike when they’d first met, Amit had eaten and slept well today, and so he had plenty of energy, but he was still grateful for the younger man’s shoulder.

“There was a time,” he said at the top, huffing loudly, “that I could have run up and down these stairs without much effort.” He planted one hand on his waist and took deep breaths. “It appears that time is long gone.”

The prince nodded, not panting at all, and there was impatience in his eyes he seemed to be trying to blink away, his hands on the railing as he looked out over the academy with a far-away but stern expression.

“I’ll get straight to it, then.”

Amit cleared his throat and did his best to master his breathing, but in his pause to steady himself, Kale spoke.

“You’re here to tell me not to make any waves. To stop this nonsense about teaching miracles.”

Amit stiffened. Sharpen your wits. This is only a version of the boy you remember.

“Something like that. But I’m here to listen, too.”

The young man smiled—for Amit could no longer think of him as just a boy—and stood straight.

“No, my friend, I think listening will not be useful. You must see.” He turned in Amit’s direction, half closed his lids and steadied his breathing, as if preparing for some great mental effort.

Amit tried not to roll his eyes. “Please, Kale, I’m not some priest or student waiting to believe in miracles. I’m here to…”

“No,” he sort of heard his friend say as the sound of a storm rose around them in a cloudless sky, “you’re not.”

What…is…

“You will know that you chose the time and place of this meeting, not me.”

The air around them grew cold, yet shimmered like the horizon in summer. Amit’s eyes darted around, trying to understand what he was seeing.

“You will see I don’t mean to deceive you.”

Little hairs stood up all over Amit’s skin, and he heard a strange buzzing sound in the air.

“I show you what’s true, my friend. Nothing more.”

Amit’s feet jerked back as if trying to escape whatever this was. Kale raised his arms and looked up to the sky, towards a flash of light, and a crash of thunder. Lightning struck the observatory. It bathed Amit’s world in light, and for a moment he thought he’d be blinded or killed and the stone roof shattered. But the light dimmed, and though with spots in his vision Amit could see again and he realized he’d been wrong. It hadn’t struck the observatory, it had struck Kale.

Wind blasted out around them throwing dust and debris. The light pulsed and lit Kale in whiteness, his robes billowing and his dark hair blown back, though his body did not move. The lightning struck again. Power and light flickered with darkness, and the island prince stood unafraid and unharmed, the sound of thunder softening as if reflected, bouncing away from the tower as the whole world went quiet.

Amit trembled and his mind blanked. Images flashed of his brother’s death as a temple crumbled in a storm. The clouds had been black and ominous that day, the ceremony soaked in rain as the capital braced itself for a gale. But still his brother spoke on his tall parapet of marble, unafraid and glorious before his people as his council huddled safely behind. And so the son of heaven died.

The strange hum returned, then eased and vanished, the shimmer faded, and within moments the platform returned to normal, as if nothing ever happened. Kale looked as he had moments before, hands in cuffs and face at ease.

In seventy-odd years of life, having traveled from one side of the known world to the other, Amit had never seen anything like it. He stood stunned, trying to force his senses to interpret this in some meaningful way that did not accept gods or spirits or magic.

“I’m sorry, my friend.” The prince’s eyes seemed sympathetic, as if he wished to cross the platform between them and take Amit in his arms. “I don’t know how it’s done. Not exactly. Nor why it’s possible. But I won’t be silenced, not even by your emperor.”

A great roar of thoughts trapped behind incomprehension. I need time to think. Amit swallowed. I just need time, that’s all, to consider what I saw, and what it means.

The two foreigners from below scrambled up the stairs, panting and holding knives. They took in the scene, eyes switching back and forth between the men, and Kale raised a hand as if to calm them.

“I’m fine. Just a demonstration.”

Their eyes stayed alert and on Amit, but they put the knives away.

Amit looked to the man he thought he’d understood and found no malice or judgment, pride or anger.

“Asna—why don’t you take the Councilor down now. We can speak again soon.”

“I…have a great many questions, Kale. There’s more to discuss.” He spoke out of practical reflex, but Amit wanted nothing more than to sit and perhaps have a rather strong drink.

“My room is in the temple, come and find me there whenever you wish.”

Kale’s eyes seemed apologetic. They held no righteous fury or triumph, nothing like one might expect from a revolutionary. Nothing like me at his age, Amit thought.

He wanted to say everything would be fine, that they’d sit down together and sort this out like the reasonable men they were. But for the first time in many years, Amit felt truly afraid.

Afraid of a world where men could wield such power. Afraid because his brother had died in a lightning storm—the most powerful man on earth, in perfect health, struck down in his prime, and Amit was the only one who didn’t blame God. He feared what his nephew would do now, and what would happen next. He feared that after a life-time of mastering the world, now that it mattered most, he was too old, and helpless.

Managing only a small smile and nod, he took the arm of the foreigner named ‘Asna’, and let him help with the stairs.

47

Kale knew at once Osco wished to throw the old man off the observatory, he just didn’t know exactly why.

“What will he do?” said his friend, voice and eyebrows even.

“He’ll go away and think. He’ll try to help. He’s a good man, Osco, when he can be.”

Whether or not this convinced the Mesanite, or even interested him, was not obvious. He met Kale’s eyes. “I have news. It’s bad.”

It’s going to be that kind of day, I think. “Go on.” Kale waved a hand, leaning back against the railing.

His friend squinted, and hesitated, both of which were strange. “Perhaps first,” he said, as if parting with his last coin, “I should tell you who I am.”

This must be very bad. Kale blinked with impatience, but waited.

Osco cleared his throat. “My father is a general—a man of great influence in my city. I am not here to learn, but to pass information to my people. Anything that might be useful.”

“Useful for what, Osco?” He said the words, but he knew the answer.

“For rebellion.”

Kale breathed and felt any curiosity he had vanish, replaced with dread. Whatever this intense, secretive young man was about to tell him, he wouldn’t have admitted his intentions unless he knew Kale’s world was about to change. He wouldn’t speak openly unless here and now he expected to ask Kale for his help—probably, to ask him to teach soldiers how to make miracles.

“Tell me, Osco.”

Again, the hesitation.

Perhaps he remembers the recipient of his message can kill men with giant icicles plucked from air.

“My people have agents in many nations. We send messages with birds, and in code. News can travel great distances in haste and with secrecy, but often the messages are brief.”

“Spit it out, damn you.”

Osco swallowed. “I received such a message a few days ago. It was short, and I’ve been waiting for the right moment.” He seemed unwilling or unable to say the words, and drew a small slip of paper from his pocket. “I translated it,” he said, and held it out.

Then the note was in Kale’s hands, and all he could think was that his father discovered the truth about Tane’s son and that the child was dead, or would be soon. What would they do with Lani, he wondered? Tane would be shamed, the alliance with Kapule broken, but he would at least still be heir, unless he had an ‘accident’. Kale swallowed and forced himself to read expecting the worst, but he couldn’t possibly have imagined.

“Pyu under attack. White-skinned giants in ships. Sri Kon in flames. Palace sacked.”

He stood reading the same words again and again and tried to understand. But he had no time to process, no time to ask questions.

Asna cried out in alarm from the ground. Kale and Osco ran to the railing and saw a dozen men fanned out in a semi-circle around the observatory entrance. Some held bows, others swords. Amit lay at Asna’s feet clutching his chest.

An arrow whistled past Kale’s head, missing by a hand’s width—or maybe Osco pulled him to safety. He heard men shouting below, voices telling Asna to surrender, Kale to come down.

Osco glanced quickly over the side, and breathed. “There’s real warriors down there, islander, not just students. We’ll need a miracle.” This wasn’t a figure of speech.

Kale’s mind spun in circles, trapped in the letter’s impossible words while his heart raced. He tried to slow it and control his breathing—tried not to imagine his family, his people and city, being tortured and killed by ‘white-skinned giants’. But it was impossible. “I…need time, I need a moment.”

Osco’s eyebrows didn’t think much of that. He drew his knife, grabbing Kale by the shoulders. “If I die today, you owe my people a debt. Swear it.”

Everything felt so slow. “I…swear. I swear.”

Then his friend raced down the observatory stairs two at a time, and Kale tried to focus on his breathing. He failed. He tried to burn his thoughts, and failed.

I am nothing, but why I act matters. He felt a tear run down his cheek, pooling and sliding sideways in his scar. Your friend is dying in the street because he came here to help. More friends will die soon.

He put his hands on his head and closed his eyes, thinking of the Ching, of feeding monkeys, of his toes in the hot spring of Bato and Ando’s lessons. He tried to sit on a beach with his brothers and watch the waves, imagined looking at his body from outside it, focusing on a single thing. Nothing worked.

* * *

Asna fell back, putting students between him and the men with bows. That’s right, pretty boys, he thought, make yourselves useful.

He glanced towards the top of the tower and couldn’t help but think what good a few well-placed, giant icicles might do, and half-hoped, half-expected to see assassins skewered where they stood. Nothing happened.

“Fortune is big cock,” he said, regaining some good humor, not caring if his enemies knew why. He recognized a couple of the boys as martial students who’d mocked his clothes, and before he died, at least, he would enjoy killing them.

“You bleed first,” he said, pointing. The students crept forward, arms half raised as if to force the others beside them on. They were formationless, disorganized, and mostly spread out. And no doubt stupid, pant-wetting cowards, too, who Asna the Great could kill all day if he had a bleeding sword.

He stopped withdrawing and unhooked a thin, weighted throwing blade, snapping it back, ready to launch. The boys stopped entirely.

“I am Asna Fetlan Isha Fetnal. I do not flee. Leave now, and I spare miserable lady-boy lives.”

The students exchanged sweaty looks, gripping their swords and leaning as if to spring forward.

Asna jerked and threw his knife, then another he’d secretly palmed, one after the other—neither at the boy he said would die first.

Without watching to see if he’d hit, angling himself so the snipers would stay blocked, he turned and ran.

Osco met him on the stairs coming the other way. “Where the hell are you going?”, they said more or less in unison, and more or less in the same words.

“Kale needs a minute.”

Asna shook his head in disbelief. “This next minute is very long minute, first friend.”

The other boy’s eyebrows seemed to agree, but he shrugged. “We’ll live, or we won’t. Let’s kill a couple at the entrance. Maybe we’ll get a sword.”

Asna opened his mouth but had no counter to that. And good idea, actually.

Armed with only their knives, both boys put their backs against the wall on either sides of the open gate and waited. The stone had been built narrow and could fit only two between its thick slabs. Gravel crunched from outside as the students advanced, their pace slow and cautious.

“The real warriors are waiting.” Osco craned his neck to see. “They’ll want to see what they’re dealing with. There’s maybe five, or six.”

Footsteps echoed in the chambered arch as the first pair entered the tunnel. Asna unhooked more throwing knives from under his shirt, glancing at his friend to let him know. The nod was immediate, the understanding clear.

Oh, my friend, whoever you really are, we shall die here gloriously, or perhaps spill great rivers of blood together.

He stepped out and released. None of the boys had shields, nor armor, and the first blade sunk into a bicep, the other into a shoulder. I wish I had that shitty bow, Asna thought, but these will do.

In panic the wounded pair came forward, or perhaps they were pushed. Either way they stumbled through the entrance with blades held clumsily.

Osco yanked the first by his ridiculous top-bun hair, sinking his knife deep before throwing him to the ground and stabbing on.

Asna caught the other by his good arm and jabbed him in the throat. The boy’s wounded arm swung back, but missed, blade brushing against the baggy, colorful flap of Asna’s silk. He seized the sword and shoved him back into the tunnel. Two others caught him and fled.

His back firmly against the wall again, Asna looked to see Osco equally armed and already there, only his foot now holding his twitching, dying victim.

“Next, please,” Asna shouted, then stooped to collect his knife. He winked to his friend.

* * *

Amit propped himself against the observatory and looked at his wound. It’s not in my lung,” he decided, but felt…strange.

He could breathe, but the arrow seemed to sap all his strength. He wondered if his being shot was an accident, or if Spymaster Joon decided to take this moment to rid himself of the Emperor’s ‘favorite’ old uncle. He supposed it didn’t matter.

One of Joon’s assassins crouched down and looked Amit over, then cleared up the confusion, his accent perhaps from North beyond the capital.

“I’m sorry, Councilor. You’re very great man; to kill you is not a pleasure. Only duty. Understand?”

Amit nodded his head, because he truly did understand, and felt no hatred. “The boy,” he managed, “if you spare him, I’ll make you rich.”

He heard the slow ring of the knife exit its scabbard, then the sigh of a man who wished he could accept and grant a dying old warrior some peace of mind.

“I’m sorry, General. My orders, they are clear. What is man without loyalty, eh?”

Amit couldn’t agree more, and liked his killer. He leaned his head against the cold rock and heard the sounds of fighting inside the gate, students yelling out in fear and anger and death, and crying for the assassins.

“Your…friends…need some help,” he said, amused.

The assassin knelt and lowered his mask, his face now low enough to see. He seemed amused, too.

“Even a dull blade has its purpose, yes?”

Amit tried to laugh, but it hurt. These were his words, written long ago, in his very first book on war.

Despite the pain he reached up to put a hand on his killer’s shoulder, then looked squarely in his eyes.

“Long live the Emperor.”

He hoped beyond hope the man understood all the years of struggle, all the blood and service, the chaos and horror and pain and glory and death. He wanted someone to understand.

“Long live the Emperor,” the assassin agreed, maybe even some wetness in his eyes. His arm arched back, ready to drive the knife firmly into Amit’s heart.

And then the world went mad.

48

Kale gave up thinking altogether, and in that moment found peace. I am not the master of the world. I do not control the fate of islands halfway across the land, or the choices of others. I control only myself.

He walked to the edge of the roof, ignoring the arrows that whistled past, and jumped. At first he thought it was just to die—to give the assassins their victory, so Asna and Osco could maybe live.

But as the ground raced towards him and he saw Amit leaning against the wall, he remembered there were still a few things he could do.

First, he could save his friend. Then, perhaps, he could go back and help his people, at least somehow; perhaps he could teach someone to read, or teach someone to meditate.

All his grand ambitions faded, but the feeling of truth he had in the knowledge that he could help a few people, at least, felt as good as the wind as he fell.

Then he stopped. His body relaxed in the air, legs folding as if he ‘sat’ on nothing, hands going naturally to his cuffs while he controlled his breathing. His spirit ‘drifted’, the windows of his mind flung wide, the warmth and power of the world around him now so full of potential.

It’s all right here, he thought, and always has been, so why can’t anyone see?

The archers aimed for his chest and fired, feather arrows spinning in the air with four-pronged blades seeking flesh. He let the power in the air take them, and snap them. He pushed it forward with his spirit towards the men. They shouldn’t suffer, he decided, no one should. But they must be stopped.

He reached for the threads flowing above them and pulled, the wind itself dropping towards them as if some physical thing. Both men flattened, crushed into the paved road like beetles beneath a boot, far harder and more violently than he’d intended. Dust and debris flew from the impact as if oil poured in a flame. Kale flinched at the sound—a harsh echo, like a giant drum, that scattered birds and rung out across the tower, bouncing off the walls and rising. Like a war-cry, Kale thought. Was it mine? Was it the mountain’s? Was it God Himself?

There are rules, he reminded himself, important rules and I don’t know what they are.

Whatever power Kale used in the air seemed extinguished—everything around him suddenly cold, and still, and he knew for certain in that moment that heat and wind were a kind of strength that could be transformed. But they weren’t the only things.

He pushed out with his senses, feeling beneath the ground, feeling further out for movement and light. He yanked it out to reach inside the observatory, grasping with new threads at the living students, throwing them back like unwanted weeds under the sun. He had tried to do so gently, just to stop them from fighting, but they crashed along the stones and into each other and launched out the gate, smashing against walls to land broken on the pavement.

Kale turned to face the killer with the knife beside Amit. Murderer, he thought, come to kill a helpless old man?

He shattered him with his own heat. He felt the bones come apart, twisting and grinding and bursting out in a gory mess, splattering Amit and the two other men. These simply turned and ran.

The air misted around Kale’s mouth when he breathed, and he shivered. He floated gently to the ground as Asna and Osco peeked out from their gate covered in blood. Amit looked like a corpse.

Kale bent to him, holding him upright while he looked at the arrow so close to the old man’s heart.

I can kill, he thought, desperately, perhaps I can heal.

He tried to sense the power still flowing through the old man’s body, tried to find the threads that made him whole and alive, and not fading away. He saw formless, twining blobs of heat and light and ground his teeth as he tried to make some order of the chaos. “Don’t die, not yet,” he told the tough old liar, his mentor, his friend. “It must be possible,” he said, knowing he made no sense, “just keep breathing, I’ll find the thread.”

Amit smiled at him, eyes wet with pain and wonder. Then he looked off as if at the horizon, losing interest in mortal things, and breathed no more.

* * *

“There is no time for tears, we must act.”

Kale nearly stood and punched Osco in his stupid mouth. He closed Amit’s eyes and laid him down, wondering who ordered his death and why, or if it was just bad luck. He stayed there kneeling and felt no urge to rise.

“What do you suggest we do.”

“We run.”

“And where do we run, Osco?”

His friends gave each other an uneasy glance, though they tried to hide it.

“What would you have us do, islander?”

With a deep breath Kale remembered they’d both just fought for his life. He remembered that all men had goals and purposes of their own, and having them wasn’t wrong.

“I must try and help my city. I must go home.”

The Mesanite’s eyebrows let everyone and God know what he thought of that.

“Obvious. Assassins will be sent along every path. And even if you make it, even with your miracles, you are still one man. You must eat and sleep, and you can be killed like a man, that much we know.”

Kale put a blood-stained hand to his forehead. “Just say it, Osco, just tell me what you want.”

His tone matched his mood—the exhaustion of being used by others like poison in his heart, the grief for his friend too close.

Osco dropped to his knees and put his arms out to hold Kale’s shoulders, tearing his gaze away from Amit’s corpse. “In my country, islander, there are two kinds of brothers. There are brothers who’ve shared a mother’s milk, and there are brothers who’ve shared the blood of their enemies.” He looked up at Asna, then back down at Kale. “You’re my blood brothers now. I want you to live.”

The genuine tone threw Kale off his guard.

“Yes,” the general’s son shrugged, “I want your help. I want freedom and justice for my people and a hundred things, but let me protect you now. Let my people protect you, and they may even help your city, if they can. What you do after that, I leave to you.”

Kale swallowed the lump in his throat, and nodded. “I have to see Li-yen. Then we can go.”

Osco’s head twitched as if to shake, but stopped. “We will follow. But it must be brief. Those were Imperial Assassins that we left alive—it would be a mistake to think they ‘ran’, and more accurate to say they ‘withdrew’. Expect another attack, or who knows what.”

Kale’s spirit still floated free of his body. He could see corded threads of power stretching high above the mountains, and coiled like monstrous snakes in their centers. Somehow he could see it, feel it, waiting as if only for his call—endless, immeasurable, and pitiless. He shrugged.

Asna and Osco cleaned off as much blood as they could, then strapped themselves with a small arsenal of looted weapons.

The walk through Nanzu was surreal. People kept on living their lives, selling lychees and straw hats and laughing, undisturbed by the blood and death so near them, a few maybe talking about the ‘crash’. All Kale could think was how big the world was. In one place, a city could be destroyed, probably with all the horror and evil that came along. In another, no one knew or cared until it affected the price of rice.

And what’s your point? There was no point. There was only reaching Li-yen, and saying goodbye, and thank you and sorry, and I won’t forget you. There was nothing else in the world.

It was her day off, and Kale pushed his way past two surprised girls into her dorm. He took the stairs two and three at a time till he stood at her door.

She rubbed at her eyes as she answered, wearing only the student smock pulled tightly across her front. So modest, he thought, nothing like my people.

He liked her colorful dresses, but he liked seeing her out of them even more. He pushed in and kissed her, holding her against the wall.

They’d been seeing each other almost nightly now since the attack on the veranda, or maybe since he’d kissed her over Ru’s holy books. It was mostly formal and proper—mostly chaste. They had rules. Her waist stayed covered by at least one layer, and so did his. But he didn’t mind. Well, sometimes he did, and it was fair to say they were her rules, not their rules. But he obeyed because it meant touching her and kissing her, holding her in his arms at night when he snuck in, and talking like lovers.

He’d learned that her duty to the empire was for life, but she was not a slave. He learned she didn’t know her parents and was raised by imperial teachers since she was a girl. He learned she could get married and choose different roles throughout the empire, so long as her test scores were high, and that she’d always wanted to live by the sea.

They’d even talked about the future—about how they might be together when classes ended. But all that was gone now. When he came up for air she watched him.

“This is a nice surprise,” she said, searching. “What’s wrong?”

He had no idea what to say. There were already tears forming in her eyes, and he shook his head, helpless. “I have to go,” he said. “Right now.”

She hugged him, and they clung to each other for long seconds. “Can you come back?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything, except I don’t want to leave you.”

He kissed her again, and felt tears on his cheeks but didn’t care. “I’m going to Mesan with Osco, and then home to Pyu. My people… they’ve been attacked, I don’t know how or why or by who.” He closed his eyes. “And Amit’s dead. Assassins, here at the academy. Just…just now.”

He’d finally told her about his ‘language tutor’ while he was recovering, and it turned out she’d known him personally, at least a little, so he knew his death would hurt her, too.

She shook her head. “Is there no other way? Couldn’t you…go to the Emperor and…I don’t know, work with him somehow?”

He truly wished he could. He wished it was that simple. “I can’t trust him now. And he’s no friend of my people, whatever he says.”

No, there is more.

“And…whatever my ‘miracles’ are, I can’t let a man like him understand them. Not first. Do you see?”

She shrugged or nodded and he kissed her again, wanting nothing more than to throw her on the bed, tear off her clothes, and make love to her now before it was too late and everything changed.

When you can eat, eat, he heard Thetma in his mind, but knew this wasn’t the moment—knew that now such a moment would never come.

He tried to stay in the present and in Li-yen arm’s and failed, wondering if his brothers and recruits had died fighting for their city, or if they were out at sea. He wondered if his father was dead. Oh God, he thought, what is the fate of Aunt Kikay and Lani? Is it better if they died?

Leaving Sri Kon, somehow, despite everything, in his heart he’d believed it would work out. He’d believed one day they’d manage to be together again, that love would triumph over all. A fool’s love, he thought, a boy’s love.

He held no such illusions now. He knew that he would probably never see Li-yen again, but knowing made the feeling sweeter, even as it brought tears to his eyes and choked his breath.

He kissed her while they both cried. He brought his hands up to her face and her hair. “Goodbye,” he said, and her lips whispered it back without sound.

“I’m sorry,” he said too, because he was, and then he ran.

49

Emperor Yiren Luwei had his bodyguards bring out the suicide pans. Well, that’s what he called them. Officially they were named Seats of Honor by Yiren’s father, and reserved for ‘special imperial guests’. But Yiren only had ‘special imperial guests’ when he’d been disappointed in some way, and death was linked closely to his disappointment.

His favorite thing about the Seats was the fear. They let him say, without a word—‘you may shortly have to kill yourself, very sorry’. They also let him say, also without words, ‘so many servants must kill themselves, we have special trays to catch the blood’.

Anyway, he liked to be practical.

Spymaster Joon, two of his assassins, and a young imperial servant entered his guest hall with armed escorts, and took their seats with as much grace and dignity as could be expected. One had to kneel in the center of one’s suicide pan—the only padding being beneath the thin metallic material there. And anyway, those were the instructions.

“Welcome. My apologies for the rude nature of the invitation, I’m sure you’re all very busy.” He liked to indicate danger with formality, and they all bowed properly in their trays, keeping their eyes obediently on the floor. “Master Joon. Please explain why my beloved uncle is dead.”

To be so forward, and so quickly, was a great breach of etiquette. Yiren should have asked them how they were and how their days progressed, and perhaps describe the reasons for their attendance today. But he had a great many things to do, and he knew already what would happen here.

Joon’s face beaded with sweat, a red ring of flesh growing gradually from his collar. “My lord—your uncle’s discussion with the heretical Prince Ratama was unsuccessful. As instructed, this servant sent men to observe and prepare for that outcome. However, the prince had bodyguards, and produced miracles. In the ensuing conflict, Councilor Asan was killed.”

Yiren nodded as if thoughtful, though of course he knew everything that had happened already, including that Joon had taken matters into his own hands and ordered Amit’s death.

The truth was of course that he did want his uncle dead, and had sent the old man on a long, perilous journey to Pyu in the hopes he wouldn’t make it, or at least never return. The thought made him smile. He respected the tough old general—the wily owl that won his father an empire. But now his time was over.

Too many old men still remembered the past—still worshipped it, instead of Ru’s current chosen son. Amit had been a shining beacon of that former glory—a living relic of a different time, and a different empire. Yiren had waited patiently for him to die, out of respect, but the man lingered too long.

“Did you order his death, Master Joon?”

The red neck-flesh grew, consuming the spymaster’s ears and cheeks. To be so direct was disrespectful beyond tolerance, and Joon was one of the most powerful men in Naran. Certainly he was not accustomed to being treated this way. But to lie directly to the emperor would be unthinkable.

“Yes, my lord.”

Yiren allowed a few moments to pass in silence. It should have been upsetting, he supposed. His oldest living relative, gone, murdered in cold blood—a man that helped raise him, protect his empire, tutored him when his father died. Everyone would expect him to be horrified personally, even if they believed he thought it best for Naran. And he’d learned long ago to ape the emotions of lesser men when it suited him, so he put a little anger in his voice. A little indignation.

“Explain.”

“This…servant, thought…decided…”

Ha! The man nearly pissed himself!

“… my lord, that it would be in the best interests of the empire. I…I knew that secretly you desired it, but out of honor could not order it. Because, I had not been strictly forbidden, I decided…”

“I must now directly forbid my servants from killing my family members?”

“No, no, lord, of course…”

“Did I order you to assassinate Councilor Asan?”

“No, my lord, but I humbly ask…”

“Then there is nothing more to discuss. Thank you for your service, Master Joon. Please join your ancestors.”

One of his bodyguards rushed forward with a ceremonial knife, and left it beside the tray. Honor and custom strictly forbid any ‘assistance’ when a man went to the spirit world on purpose. It had to be done alone, else he risked being sent to the wrong heaven, or revived as some lesser creature.

But the death was necessary. Yiren believed Joon was loyal, and his reasons honest. But to act without instruction? Especially in such an important matter? This was, ironically, exactly the kind of thing his uncle stood for—the kind of attitude Yiren wanted obliterated. He turned his attention to the two surviving assassins.

“Please describe the events at the observatory.”

They did, and thoroughly, though of course he knew the details already. He thanked them for their service and asked them too to join their ancestors, and they went about it much more quickly, bleeding out into their trays while Joon still stared at the knife in disbelief. Good men, I shall ensure the lives of their children, and place them in the warrior’s college.

Since his spymaster remained unperished, Yiren decided to squeeze out a final use. “Master Joon—thank you for delaying. Even now you must recognize the needs of your emperor before he does. Who do you recommend to replace you as Imperial Spymaster?”

The man’s mouth gaped like a fish out of water, but he managed to name a successor, which Yiren now knew not to choose.

“Thank you. Now, please, you may continue.” He motioned at the knife as servants came forward to collect the corpse-trays that held dead assassins and remove them.

Now for the girl. “Servant Li-yen. I understand my uncle asked you to seduce Prince Ratama to ensure he would stay at Nanzu. Had you been successful before this…unpleasantness?”

The servant’s skin had lost its color, but she managed to stay composed and refrain from looking at the other ‘guests’ throughout the ordeal. “Yes, my lord. I believe so.”

Yiren grunted. A very pretty girl, he thought, couldn’t have been difficult. “And I understand he spoke to you before he left. What did he say?”

She took a deep breath, and he hoped she didn’t vomit, or pass out. Either way it would be a disruption.

“He told me he had to leave. He said that Councilor Asan had been killed, and that his city was under attack by some unknown army.”

Yiren blinked, surprised, and hoped no one was watching him too carefully.

“And how did Prince Ratama receive this information?”

“I…I’m so sorry, my lord. I did not think to ask.”

What mattered was whether or not it was true.

Will it change my plans? Yes, it might. But all things in their own times.

“Did he tell you where he intended to run?”

Her response came delayed, but then most of her others did too, and she was frightened. “Yes, my lord.” She said nothing more, which pleased him. He had not asked her to elaborate.

“What did he tell you?”

The same pause, but it no longer concerned him. “Directly to Pyu, my lord. At once.”

He nodded, satisfied. This at least was as he expected, and his assassins already covered every road and port moving South. Soldiers would sweep the towns and fields, and the boy and his friends would be caught, and brought alive if possible. Yiren would of course have to allow other men to discover the secrets of these miracles first, if he could. He certainly couldn’t allow the boy in his presence if Pyu gods granted their chosen the power to kill without weapons. But nevermind. He could order the men to the spirit-world after.

Priests would be sent to the islands to study their religion. If their sea-gods could be mastered, Ru would master them, and bring their secrets home to be perfected in Nanzu.

Joon finally summoned the nerve to stab himself, though it seemed like he’d bungled the thrust and missed his heart. He moaned in pain and slumped in his pan, and Yiren sighed. Unless the man pulled it out and stabbed again, or was assisted, it could take quite some time to die.

“Thank you, servant Li-yen, that will be all. Return to your classes, and thank you for your service.”

She stood on shaky legs, clearly expecting to die, and her fear aroused him like nothing else could. He often wondered if he’d been born a peasant how he would even be able to find sexual gratification. What can peasants do to inspire fear? Nothing, eh?

But then, perhaps if he’d been born a peasant, God would have made him differently. Ru was truly the wisest teacher of men, giving them only what they could bear, and the tools to bear it.

He stood and waved a hand at his chamberlain—his personal aid. “We will wait for Master Joon to join the spirit world. Tell my concubines to prepare themselves, and have the next guests here by the next chime.”

Palace chimes were rung according to perfectly measured candles, or ‘sticks’, moulded to melt down twenty times from sunrise to sunrise on the longest day in summer. Another great invention of yet another fine Naranian scholar.

Yiren’s chamberlain bowed and retreated. He’d been the bastard son of a gambling-addicted grave-handler, and became the greatest Student of the Desk in a generation. Now he served the most powerful man in the world as a trusted servant, and lived in a palace with servants of his own. The thought made Yiren smile. Surely, there is no greater land beneath the sun than Naran, nor any God greater than Ru the Wise, Ru the Father.

He nodded towards Joon as he turned, in respect for his last act in service, then exited through his curtain wall with several eunuch guards on his heels.

Never waste a meal, or an erection, he thought, considering the wisdom of the proverb, then the fate of Joon and his assassins and the shortness of life. The Emperor of the world ignored his Spymaster’s moans and made his way to the Imperial bedchambers, hoping to make a few of his own.

50

They traveled by night, but still had to kill five men—at least Asna and Osco had. Kale hid as instructed, told not to use his miracles ‘unless he had no other choice’, while his friends crouched and waited and cut the unsuspecting throats of patrolling scouts.

To Kale these enemies seemed like common men, likely from poor families like his recruits, no chance but to join the army. He knew they would have killed him, if they could, but he felt no hatred or anger, and still thought they deserved better.

Mesan lay to the South East—and though they’d gone East first, instead of straight towards Pyu as the emperor likely expected, there had been roadblocks and hunting parties and terror. It seemed over now, but still, they avoided roads.

Twice Osco stopped them to send messages home by bird. ‘Waystations’, he called them, apparently set up all over the empire with trained carrier pigeons kept by sympathetic farmers. Kale found it hard to believe such a thing could be hidden from imperial spies, but Osco said long ago his people accepted all deception as the jurisdiction of war, and so they mastered it.

“Once,” he said, “warriors ruled the world. Now, it is merchants. We did not change, and so we suffer, but old tricks can be useful.”

They picked their way through almost swampy, rice-paddy fields, following mud-paths as they swat at mosquitoes and watched the countryside. Osco drove them on and on, and as they traveled Kale became too busy and exhausted to grieve. Except perhaps in the precious few moments before they slept, when even his fire failed to prevent the cruelty of his imagination.

“If your family is dead, does that not make you king?” Osco whispered one evening as they rose.

“Yes, maybe.” Kale looked away, thinking king of what? Is there a Sri Kon left to rule?

He thought of his father being crowned at sixteen. Was he like me once? Just a boy choosing the least horrifying options to life’s many problems? Was it being king that made him evil? And what of our city’s ‘friends’ and enemies? Will the other islands now rise up in rebellion? Will they try to help us?

If Sri Kon truly fell, then trade all along the coast would be decimated. And who would even have the ships to respond? Without rice from Nong Ming Tong, the islands would begin to starve. Surely they would realize that. Perhaps each island would make its own deals with the farmer-king, but prices would soar, and piracy would thrive. War, starvation, and all manner of suffering would follow as Farahi’s laws unraveled. Other coastal nations would be too afraid to send their ships into unfriendly harbors and seas, and would be forced to trade by land until peace settled. But was that even possible? And what would it mean?

“Your thoughts look busy.”

In the days since the observatory, Kale noticed Osco watching him closely.

You won’t learn my miracles with your eyes, he thought without humor.

“I’m trying to imagine a world without Sri Kon.”

“And this world,” Osco’s brow remained perfectly neutral, “is it better, or worse?”

Kale met the boy-warrior’s eyes, weary of the keen, driven mind behind them.

“Worse.”

Osco shrugged, as if he weren’t considering the implications, which he certainly was. They didn’t speak for a time, their pace still quick as they covered the many miles of countryside.

In his attempt to blend in, Kale had stuffed his robe into a sack and wore the plain, striped cotton shirt and pants of Naranian peasantry. These and his stolen shoes were now caked with mud, and despite living by the sea all his life, the moisture and heat of this place felt unbearable, and sweat stuck the filth and fabric to him like sap. Or maybe it actually is sap, he realized. He was so dirty he no longer knew.

Day after day Osco led them and stole or picked their supplies, and though just as dirty and matching every step, seemed utterly immune to fatigue. The nightly ritual became Asna’s whining as the light fell and another few miles passed without stopping to chew their meager fare, until at last the Mesanite would nod and Kale would collapse where he stood.

His feet and legs had gone from aching, to burning, to numb, and only when he stopped did they regain sensation. Then the pain would flow up his back and to his shoulders and neck, and he’d hear Osco whispering ‘Drink’ or ‘Eat’ as he spooned him a meal before darkness came.

But, finally, the terraced rice fields ended. Marshy ponds built entirely by men became rolling hills of sparser crops, herded animals, and truly natural life. The people became a darker-brown, like Osco, their clothes thin and undyed.

“Welcome to Mesan.” Osco breathed as if he had held his breath for years, and his eyebrows relaxed. Still he took them quickly and avoided roads, eyes always moving, always watching.

Even the vegetation here seemed hard, practical—grown close to the earth perhaps for moisture, bent and scraggly as if concerned only for survival, with not a care for aesthetics. Kale saw no flowers in the Mesanic hills. He saw only green and brown and yellow shrubs that seemed mostly root, or grass poking in clumps from wide stone.

They saw no real sign of civilization for most of a day, and the lessened tension of immediate threat gave more time to think, and talk.

“I do not kill for free.”

Asna’s mood and face had begun to sour since the marsh. Then Kale implied he might spend his life in penniless obscurity, helping the commoners of Pyu with whatever fallout they suffered, rather than trying to be their king.

“And more, I am unhappy.” The mercenary pointed out and around him like the source of his displeasure should be obvious. “Goat-fucking hill-men have no money for Asna.” He glanced briefly at Osco’s eyebrows. “No strong offence.”

“No strong offence taken.” Osco’s eyebrows looked amused.

“And anyway, how can Asna spend money with lady-boy fucking emperor unhappy? Eh?”

Vulgarity or not, this was actually a good question. Certainly Yiren’s spies would know who the Condotian was by now, and this might make further life in Naran difficult.

“I will have to go back with own people.” Asna tried to spit but had little saliva. “Back to horse-face women and flies and sweat and dirt!” He kicked a rock, which refused to dislodge from its mound.

“What is it you’d like us to do, exactly?” Osco took the opportunity to survey from atop a hill.

“Tell fish-loving island queen to be man! To be king! To re-take home and then drown Asna in ‘Poo’ gold!”

Kale rolled his eyes.

“It’s Pyew. And how exactly do you think I’m going to do that? The three of us will just sail down and say ‘Well, we’re here, Kale’s the new king, thanks,’? There’s a foreign army. There’s probably chaos. There’s a hundred enemies who hated my father when there was peace!”

“You can bloody fly, islander,” Asna’s eyelids stretched, “you can crush men with air, or poke with frozen rain, eh!”

Kale winced. “I didn’t fly, I…hovered. And it’s not air, or rain, exactly.”

Asna hunched his shoulders and put his hands up, then looked around as if there were other people to agree with him. “Do you hear mouth stupidity? I don’t care if swing invisible, giant fish-cock! Do this again in Poo! Make white-skinned flat-bread! Finished!”

Kale shook his head and angled away, hoping another day of walking would end the ridiculous conversation.

“We’re here.” Osco grinned from his hill.

“More goats, other friend?” Asna’s voice had raised to a shout. “Very good. Very exciting.”

The Mesanite ignored him and, maybe for the first time, smiled with his teeth. “No, not goats. Well, yes there are goats. But maybe answers, too.” He looked Kale in the eyes. “To both your problems.”

Asna and Kale crested the hill together, and beyond found a walled city, almost devoid of color except blue roofs, stretching in a flat-lands between the hills. Square, grey buildings built in perfect rows as far as Kale could see shimmered in the heat, a raised stone fortress in their center.

Kale’s eyes drifted down further, and he froze. Below them, soldiers in iron breastplates and helms waited in formation on the grass. Hundreds of them. They held square-shields loosely at their sides, spears bristling above their heads.

“I told my father when we would arrive. This is his offer of support for the knowledge of your miracles.” Osco looked over them with something approaching pride. “One battalion of heavy infantry. The finest warriors in Mesan.”

Kale blinked, not sure what kind of ‘help’ he had expected, if not this.

“Tooooo-ee!” Osco cupped his mouth and shouted down.

The statue-like, round-helmed soldiers came to life, stomping one foot and standing at attention. Their large, rectangular shields thrust up and out in all directions to form a solid, unbroken square. All men on the outside held short, stabbing swords, long spears sticking out above their heads from further in like a porcupine’s quills.

“How long have they been waiting like that?” Kale asked, somewhat in awe.

“All day, islander. It is nothing.”

A man shouted from the ground, and the square broke apart into four, spears and arrows launching out at nothing from the center of each, replaced almost instantly by a roof of shields. The squares walked forward, then stopped, then sideways, then another yell, and the ranks began to switch. The men on the outside fell back, others moved out, more arrows launched, then replaced. The long spears settled and pushed out, skewering invisible attackers above their fellow’s heads. It was all so fast, hard even to see what was happening.

“To stop a charge, islander. Men will try and jump over shield-walls, but not with spears in their faces.” Kale had never seen his friend more interested in anything, but his eyes broke away. “Your people need help. Yes?”

Kale paused, but nodded. What else could he do?

“Then let us help them. You do not wish to be king, I understand.”

Asna rolled his eyes.

“Then with your miracles and our warriors let us scour your islands free of enemies, whoever they may be. When we’ve regained your father’s peace, you can make a new man king. Whoever you wish. The soldiers will stay to serve him, and you will return to teach our people.”

That’s true, it doesn’t have to be me. Very clever, Osco. “The soldiers would stay? Do they not have families? Would they not wish to go home?”

Osco’s eyebrows shrugged. “These men will gladly die for their city. They will live for them just as gladly.”

Kale saw no counter to this, knowing only he didn’t want it. But then who else could save Sri Kon if not him, and this small army of killers? Would it not be worth hundreds to save many thousands?

“How will we get there? How can we cross Naran, and then Nong Ming Tong, and then the sea, with so many soldiers unnoticed? And with what ships?”

Osco hissed air between his teeth. “Let me worry on logistics.” He shook his head. “You merchant-sons, you fret like old women. We will succeed, or we will die. What of it?”

Hard to argue with that.

But still, the extremeness of the sentiment annoyed him. He breathed in and felt the sun, and the mysterious power that lurked in the world beyond men’s eyes, then he tried to stretch his mind and imagine the future. Even if we save my city, and unite the islands, what will happen next? Will some other ambitious king begin war anew? Will the world ever truly change?

No, likely not, he decided. But Pyu had been a place of peace, and it was maybe in his power to restore it. It might not last, or it might distort and become something else, but that would not be his doing.

“Alright. I’ve seen enough. My miracles for these warriors, and the escort to Pyu. I agree.”

The general’s son at least had the good grace to act pleased and surprised, as if he hadn’t already expected the outcome.

“And I’ll see you paid, Asna. Sri Kon is a wealthy city. Or at least it was. Once we’re there, and we’ve established peace, you’ll be well rewarded.”

The dangerous mercenary bowed his ludicrous bow, and Kale hoped it would do.

“Shall we go and meet my father?” Osco was already heading down the hill. “I should warn you—he might require one of your demonstrations.”

Kale breathed, expecting this. But he was tired of talking. Tired of bargaining and negotiating for the least terrible outcome in every situation, feeling forced again into a thing beyond his control—of dealing with the many ambitions of others, all of which seemed to compete and destroy the hope of the others. We are all nothing, don’t you understand? There is only suffering, and love, and wherever all these threads of power lead, and everything else is an illusion.

The Mesanite saw him pause and mistook it for disagreement. “I know you’re an honest man, and that you’ve agreed, but you must show my father the value that his men’s lives are buying.”

It wasn’t the right thing to say, but no matter. Kale already planned to show him. He wanted to say ‘Don’t you think I care about your men’s lives? They’re just as helpless as my people—sent to death at the pleasure of ‘mighty lords’. And for what?’ But he said nothing.

He sat at the top of the hill and half-closed his eyes, reaching out for his fire and a black canvas. I’ll teach your people my miracles, yes I’ve agreed, but you don’t control me and you never will. I’ll make my own conditions and teach who I please. Only the good, and the wise—those who’ve chosen to live beside their fellows, not above them. I won’t teach young soldiers like you, Osco, who would conquer the world, nor pampered merchant-sons, who would hoard the world’s riches while their neighbors starve. I will teach only those who love, build, give, and hope. And I’ll learn to look into their spirits and see what’s there, first.

Osco saw him sit and thought he understood. “Not here, islander. My father must see it.”

“He will see.”

Oh yes, wherever he is, he will see.

Kale slid his spirit out to feel as far as he could. First towards the city, towards the warmth and movement and light; then above, his invisible fingers soaking in power from the wind, and beyond, from a thick layer of swirling moisture and chaos; and then below, where huge chunks of earth jostled like quarrelsome neighbors, each movement a mockery of the ‘power’ of man.

It was a mistake to try and control such things. One could only imagine the possible, and humbly follow single threads in the tapestry of creation. Let me show you what I’ll teach them, the helpless spirits you all so easily discard, so you can see your time is over.

He opened every window in his mind. He let his body, which was nothing and weighed nothing, be pushed out and up in the breeze, and saw the soldiers staring in amazement below, but ignored them.

First he followed a thread down, and the earth shook. Gently, please, we must not cause harm. Then he cracked the sky and heavy rain poured from calm clouds, engulfing the warriors below in slippery mist. They cried in alarm and held their shields up against the driving water, but the wind and the shaking of the ground took their balance, and some men stumbled and collapsed.

Kale pulled at threads beyond the clouds, feeling his body’s hair rise on end as lightning flashed and struck him, crackling harmlessly around his skin, though he knew it could be burning soldiers alive.

He pulled and pulled and let it linger, with the noise and light and growing fear and awe in the men. He imagined the people in the city stopped in the streets, or watching and pointing from their houses. He let the clouds spin and darken, a reflection of his own mood and fears for the future, hoping without reason that things could change, could improve, if perhaps only enough people believed.

When at last he felt the windows of his spirit-house closing, the earth quieted, the skies cleared, and Kale drifted gently to the ground, lowering his legs to stand before the soaking hillsmen.

They’d re-gained their footing and some semblance of calm and order, and he hoped he hadn’t terrified them into running away or firing arrows at him.

Osco was already at his side, one hand on his back, the other a fist in the air. The men cheered.

“Woe to the enemies of Mesan!” His friend cried in his own tongue, which Kale’s spirit understood. The men cheered louder and took up the cry.

“Woe to the enemies of Mesan! Woe to the enemies of Mesan!”

Kale watched their excitement with distaste—their pleasure in seeing a violent future where they stood tall again as the masters. He felt the restfulness in his body that always came with spirit-walking.

Osco still pumped his fist and shouted as Kale’s thoughts drifted away, running from this moment of glee in power and destruction.

They wandered again to Lani and Aunt Kikay, asking and asking if their lives were now an endless misery of rape and helplessness—if even magic powers and a small army of elite fanatics could make it otherwise in time to matter.

The journey to Pyu would take months. You must focus on the present, and the things in your control. Tomorrow is tomorrow, and you will face it when it comes.

Kale waved to the soldiers because it’s what they expected, and he needed them. “Tell your father I wish to leave immediately. My people are waiting.”

Osco nodded, unsurprised as ever. “We will tell him together. We must gather supplies, and you will be forced to stay at least the night, Islander.”

Kale nodded, knowing he was helpless again. When the men had cheered their fill, Osco led Kale and Asna towards Malvey—the Blue City, the greatest warrior-bastion in the world—with five-hundred bodyguards following the ‘Sorcerer-Prince’. This is what Osco had called him in his tongue to the men, which Kale heard with his spirit.

With all his will Kale whispered to whatever God had created man and magic and everything: Let me save the world from kings and soldiers, let me help those I love, and let me not become my father. He wasn’t sure which mattered most.

Epilogue

Lani held her son in her arms, knowing if anyone told the monsters who she was, the child would be killed. They’d squeezed her tight next to the other female palace guests and servants in the king’s prison. All criminals held previously had been…removed, by the pale-skinned invaders. Now their blood-soaked bodies clogged the edges of the near-by halls.

When the attack came she’d been awake with the baby in the middle of the night. She’d resisted Tane’s suggestion to use a wet-nurse, treasuring the quiet connection, despite her exhaustion. She’d awoken to his cries and stared out the window at the Kubi river while he sucked, oblivious and happy and hoping Kale had gotten her letter. Then she saw movement in the dark.

She squinted and stared and saw brutes in iron charging the courtyard, and when the guards there tried to stop them and died, she turned and fled.

Half the night had passed since then, but even now she couldn’t understand. Farahi’s fortress was a maze of walls and soldiers. If they’ve gotten past the navy, she’d thought, past the outer walls and so many guards without notice, what does that mean?

She’d run, though she had nowhere ‘safe’ to go. Anyone of royal birth knew what happened to captive princesses and heirs.

Tane was off playing politics and hadn’t returned. Her few guards had been half asleep and no doubt useless anyway, and she’d had no idea where Farahi was.

So, she’d gathered up her son. She’d swallowed the bile rising in her throat, and she’d run to the servant’s quarters and hid.

But they’d stormed the palace as she’d feared and searched it room by room. She lay trembling beside a bed, terrified her child would cry and alert them, her hair undone, her clothing simple and stained. When they found her they assumed she was just another palace serving-girl, and they brought her to the jail without a word.

Is the king dead, she wondered? Is my husband? Where are all the city’s warriors? Who are these men, and how did they even make it to the palace?

The almost white-skinned, fierce-looking raiders that found her had been surprisingly gentle. Almost apologetic. She’d screamed as they saw her, and they’d jumped and reached out to each other—as if the noise frightened them. When they’d finally put hands on her, they only gripped her arms, and not violently. Though she’d struggled and hurt her elbow, eventually they lifted her and carried her like a child, seeming careful not to hurt her boy.

None of the other women looked harmed. The attackers brought rice and cassava from the kitchen in bowls, water and buckets to use as chamber pots. Despite this gentleness, of course, all the women were terrified, and few talked.

Lani knew the others recognized her and prayed they kept silent. It wasn’t clear if any barbarians spoke the island tongues, but no doubt caution was best. Her son cried but had calmed, the warmth of all the bodies and relative darkness around them making him tired enough to sleep. She thanked all kind spirits he’d just been fed.

“They rounded up all the men and boys. I heard…I heard them screaming.”

The words came from a small, younger servant Lani didn’t recognize. She stared at nothing as she spoke, her bloodless face gaunt in the torchlight, her fingers curling over and over around her greasy hair. No one else said anything.

“Print-cess Ka-poo-lee?”

A man’s voice startled the women from behind the bars—it was almost musical, though deep and strong, and Lani held her breath. She noticed other girls looking at her and almost screamed. Then she heard footsteps, and saw a black-bearded barbarian with a limp pointing in her direction.

The door opened and another brute stepped inside to lift her gently to her feet. Her legs nearly buckled. She tried to leave her son with a servant but the barbarians gestured to bring him.

She wanted to refuse, to scream, to fight, but it wouldn’t stop them. She held him to her chest and asked her ancestors for strength. I am a daughter of Nong Ming Tong. I will not cower in fear.

She met the speaker’s strange, almost blue-colored eyes and held up her chin. Take us, then, coward—she hoped he understood. Put an infant to the sword for your masters, you butcher.

The almost handsome face cracked, and the son of a bitch smiled. He said something to his men and they all laughed, and though Lani spoke several languages, she didn’t understand the strange, guttural words. She tried to hold them in her mind regardless. She also considered lunging for the knife on the man’s hip and trying to kill him, and her heart pounded in her ears. It will not save your son, and that’s all that matters. They may yet spare him, you can’t be sure.

She stopped struggling, and they led her out and past the corpse-hall, then past the blood-stained, now-silent corridors that held her memories of youth, and again she could only breathe and think: How could this be possible? Who are these men and where did they come from? This is the greatest palace in the greatest city in Pyu!

But she knew her doubt made no difference, it was true. Here they are.

They escorted her at a comfortable pace, and not roughly. The limping barbarian would direct by pointing, not by touching her, and as long as she complied they left her alone. Could they be mercenaries hired by my father? Is that why they’re so gentle? What would he gain by replacing Farahi? They’re allies!

By their path she soon understood they were going to the king’s throneroom. Does their leader fancy himself a king, then? How can I use that?

Her heart kept pace with her footsteps and she tried to calm her nerves. Whatever is through these doors, you must not show fear. You are the daughter of one king, and the wife of another. Your son’s life may hang on your words.

The blue-eyed pirate waited at the entrance, smiling at her as if in apology, then opened the double doors.

She was prepared for another giant soaked in blood—prepared for some creature of violence covered in scars. But she couldn’t possibly have imagined.

A monster out of a children’s tale straddled the Alaku throne. Next to him, it seemed a seat for an infant. His skin was painted in unbroken chains of blue and black symbols, his head bald and blood-smeared. Metal and leather were wrapped around his thick chest and limbs as tight as a woman’s silks. She found his eyes, and couldn’t look away. They were amber, almost golden, like a cat—attached to a god’s cruel joke of a face—impossible angles and curves of pale flesh, hills where there should be plains. Look at his eyes, and hold them.

“I am Bukayag, son of Beyla. And you are Lani, of the Kapule, princess from the North.”

His voice was elemental, deep and strong like the sea, and his words were perfect, accent as if he’d been born in the Isles. At first she could think of nothing to say, but his eyes drifted down to her sleeping son.

“He’s a baby,” she said. “He’s no threat to you.”

The giant’s face gave no reaction at all. “His father was no threat to me, yet still I killed him.”

She choked the sob away behind a wall of will. It might not be true, just a taunt—to see how you’d react.

She watched the butcher before her and saw no amusement, no sign of anything but a killer recounting his deeds.

So he’s dead, then, but now is not the time to mourn for your friend, it is the time to protect your son.

“This boy is not the son of Prince Tane. I swear it.”

The giant shrugged. “My people care nothing for fathers. You and your son need not fear me, princess. At least not yet. That isn’t why I asked for you.”

She waited, unnerved, too anxious to believe him, and too overwhelmed to think out ahead.

“I’ve brought you here to give you a choice. You are not an island daughter, therefore you are not my enemy. You are also now without a husband. I offer you a new one.”

Thoughts still wouldn’t come. Lani wanted only to spit in his face or run screaming from the room, or maybe both. Can it all be a nightmare? Will I wake soon in my bed, to the sound of my hungry boy’s cries?

“Who would you have me marry?” The voice hardly sounded like hers.

Wood creaked as the giant shifted in his tiny throne, his face suddenly cold as the mountains of her homeland.

“Me.”

By the way he watched her, he expected horror.

“But you have a choice, Princess. Everyone should have a choice.”

She would have asked, but she knew she wouldn’t like the answer.

“You may choose death, if you wish, for yourself and the child. I would not blame you. It would be quick, and painless.”

She breathed, and took her time. The familiarity of a negotiation brought at least some semblance of calm. He would of course expect her to be afraid and paralyzed, too stunned and perhaps naive to know if he wanted her as a wife then that gave her power.

Perhaps I can delay him? But to what purpose? Who hired these men, and where do they come from? Was it really my father? Or Lord Sanhera? The Naranian Emperor? Did they come on their own? Is King Farahi alive, even now gathering an army to re-take the palace?

“King Farahi is dead, his army scattered to the winds. My people will re-settle these lands and I will rule them. As my wife you will hold a place of honor in my home, and your son will be as my son.” She blinked at this, surprised again, and he sneered. “We Ascomi respect mothers, unlike your people—they have ruled us for generations. You will be my follower’s queen, Lani, you will be their goddess.”

Her questions and thoughts all came at once, blurred and mangled by fear. It could all be lies. Of course it was. She’d never heard of ‘Ascomi’. And just look at them—are they even human?

But they hadn’t mistreated the women, not just her. What sort of pirates and raiders show such restraint? In fact they’d been gentle, kind. Do they really worship women? Maybe they did. And if that part was true, then maybe more of it was.

She forced herself to look at the monster again, from his awful face to his blood-stained body. Could she master this un-readable man? By the gods he was huge! He must be seven feet tall! Could they even couple as husband and wife? Were they even the same breed? Would his sons split her womb?

“I need time. This is too much. And too fast.”

“Even so, you will decide now, and we will marry this afternoon. Or there is the other choice.”

Her heart pounded even faster in her chest. This afternoon?

She thought of Kale and thanked the gods he wasn’t here—that he was safely away and living his life, and not another corpse next to his brothers. She wondered if he ever got her letter, if it was intercepted, if even now he was on his way to see her. We nearly had everything, Kale-che. You could have come home, and we could have been together and raised our son with your brother’s protection. We might have been happy.

But she knew this was and perhaps always had been a girlish dream, and her thoughts returned to the man before her—the thick chain links that he wore like clothes, the impossibly large sword hanging beside him, the fearless, alien eyes. Even if the king lives, what can his warriors do against such creatures? By the spirits they took the palace in a single night! They slaughtered his people like pigs! Who can possibly stop them, if not Farahi? Why else would they attack him first?

“I accept your offer.”

‘Bukayag’s’ eyebrows lifted and for a moment he looked unsure, almost embarrassed, like a boy, but it faded quickly.

“I’m pleased.” He looked away, as if he hadn’t expected this, and hadn’t planned for it. “A guard will accompany you to whatever room you wish to stay in. You may take one personal servant from the prison. I will send for you later.”

“The king’s sister. Kikay. You’ll have her somewhere. I want her.”

Her ‘betrothed’ narrowed his bright eyes, clearly caught off guard again. He paused before he spoke, and his words were slow. “Very well, Princess. I’ll bring her. Anything else?” This last part he said with sarcasm, but no matter.

“The men who brought me here. They said something and laughed.” She repeated the words as best she could. “What does that mean?”

Bukayag’s pale face grew slightly pink, which on such a man seemed utterly bizarre and out of place. He cleared his throat. “They said you would make me a fine match.”

She watched him and suspected it was not a direct translation, but thought the thrust rung true. “Then there is only one other thing.” She prayed she did not overreach, but the tiny trace of embarrassment she saw in his face spurred her on. “I accept your offer, but it is my people’s custom to grieve for their husbands. I can not marry you until this period is over. It would be shameful.”

His eyes flared, but he blinked it away.

Was that relief? What sense does that make?

“Three months,” she said, before he could ask, breath stopping though she tried desperately to seem unafraid. He stared at her, expressionless again.

“Three months. Agreed. But you will act as queen now in my hall for the benefit of my followers, if not in the bedroom.”

She nodded, trying to stay composed. Then she turned impetuously and went to leave, hoping to surprise him again. She felt the hesitation of the guard to stop her.

His eyes met hers, then his master’s, and he stepped aside with a small nod.

She managed, mostly, to keep the giddy-yet-terrified smile from her face.

If they worship their own women, she thought, let them worship me, too. I will show this barbarian a proper bride and make him my champion, I swear it on my son’s life.

She stopped and turned with a final look to the hulking ‘king’, and told him with her eyes she’d truly accepted this bargain—that as soon as they were married, she would lie with him as his wife, without fear. She saw the intrigue, the lust, however he might try to hide it, and knew everything she needed to.

Thank you, Enlightened, that he speaks my tongue, and for his ugliness, for it will make my affection special. And thank you for three months to pray for a miracle and his death.

She held her head high and strode from the room with her son, making sure to sway her hips. I hope you’re a fool, Bukayag, and I hope these islanders swarm and destroy you and your pack of murderous dogs. And just this once I hope Farahi is not dead and leads them, for I should like to see what he does to you. But if not, I’ll settle for Goddess.

Bonus: Introduction to Book Two

The Past: A wide, calm sea. Summer. 425 GE (Galdric Era)

Ruka, son of Beyla, saw only death with the sunrise. Endless blue sea spread on a wide horizon, no trace for weeks of land. His skin peeled, burns dried and cracked with lines of blood. The birds, and winds, had abandoned him, and his small, square-sailed ship floated listlessly for the seventh day.

Water seeped through the deck, and Ruka bailed it with trembling limbs as he’d done for a week. At least, his body did. In his mind he’d gone far away, surrounded by dead men—men he’d killed, and who now lived in a special place he called his Grove, a place somewhere between imagination and reality; a secret world where Ruka could be safe from the cruelty and terror of his homeland, the Ascom—the land of ash.

That’s how the Grove began, at least. Now he’d filled it with toil and walking corpses. The men, women and children he’d killed through the years of struggle, still bearing the wounds he’d given them in life. None ever spoke, though they watched him. They watched him now and their eyes said ‘you will join us, soon’.

Maybe if you came out and rowed, or helped bail water, I wouldn’t be in this predicament.

The dead didn’t even look ashamed. They looked like vultures preening next to a graveyard.

And maybe if you left me alone, I could think of a way out of this.

Some of them went back to work on his Grove-house, or chopping wood, but he knew their attention didn’t truly matter. It was all a waste of time, and only a distraction. He would die in this boat.

Long ago he’d thrown the other man sailing with him into the sea to conserve water—the previous ‘captain’, whom he’d abducted. But still his barrels were dry. Drinking from the sea or the briny pool beneath him would be pointless, as would any attempt to break away on a smaller raft to paddle. The sea had many storms, and just as many nights full of huge waves. He would survive neither.

“At least we killed Priestess Kunla,” his body pointed out, which could speak on its own without his mind. True, he thought to it. He had killed the woman who’d murdered his father; who had persecuted his mother, and made him an outlaw those many years ago. Yes, he’d killed her. But her death didn’t bring him comfort, nor joy. It didn’t bring his mother back, nor put an end to the misery and cruelty of the world which created her.

“I’m too tired to bail, we must abandon ship.”

His body let the bucket drop, shuffling to the starboard side to untie their ‘life raft’—a small, pitiful collection of planks, with a box of dried pork, some rope, a tarp to block the sun, and a paddle.

It won’t save us, he told his body, which often acted and spoke on its own. But he didn’t bother stopping it.

“We will last slightly longer,” it countered.

Stubborn to the end, he sighed, but felt some admiration. Ruka respected the will to live.

With shaking limbs they pushed the raft into the water together and eased themselves on top. His body secured the few possessions and itself beneath the tarp, tying it all down with rope. “I must rest,” it said, “then I’ll row us where you say.”

Some of the dead men now smiled at him in his Grove—at least the ones without ruined jaws.

Think this is funny, do you?

He rose up with a metal sword and hacked the limbs from his least favorite, then broke some of the graves he’d built them so they’d disappear.

Trapped in the frozen hell of his homeland, he’d thought a free death would be easier—dying on his own terms, by his own will. So he set sail North to find the gods or the edge of the world, to perhaps fall from the ‘ring’ of the Ascom to whatever end. But he had found no end, no answers, and now his death felt too soon. He knew so little of the world and its mysteries. He wanted more time to learn. What makes the waves? What is the sun? How big is the sea and what is beyond it?

He found now he did not wish to die without these answers—found it as compelling as the promise of a little boy to his mother that he’d change the world and be free.

Will I ever see you again, Beyla? And will you approve of what I’ve done? Are there truly gods and is there an afterlife? Or when I die will my bloated corpse feed the fish, and then nothing more?

He remembered his mother’s lessons—the genius of things that grow. How do they sleep for the winter? How do they drink when they sleep?

With his body safely stowed and floating gently, he walked to the huge, dark cave in his Grove that he’d hoped one day would attract a bear, but never did. Why can men not sleep for the winter, like flowers and beasts?

Was it from lack of trying, like crossing the sea? He picked his way around the rocks, into the gloom beyond the mouth. Darkness had never bothered Ruka, and he could still make out the shapes of the walls, the teeth-like pillars attached to the floor and ceiling. He found a snug, protected nook in a corner, hidden by a large lip of hanging stone, and settled in.

They are nearly dead, the sleepers. Ruka calmed his breathing. They awake grey and thin, starving, to hunt for food.

He didn’t sleep much anymore, and found doing so hard. He had to concentrate on a single thought—or play with numbers and symbols to distract his mind. You will sleep now for days, or weeks, he told his body—until I tell you to wake.

He felt it resisting, fighting for control as usual, its fear of sleep like the fear of death. It believed all acts of letting go led to some unpleasant end.

Death is not truly death, he coaxed.

“Not for you, maybe,” mumbled his mouth.

I will wake you before the end, no matter what. I promise.

He felt his muscles slacken, the breathing from his body soon matching the breathing in his Grove. And though the lunacy of this did register in his mind, he ignored it, knowing new things were always madness, until they worked. If men can sleep like bears or plants, then I will be the one to do it.

“Succeed, or we die,” mouthed his body.

And even then, he almost laughed, the waves may kill us. Or there may not be land, or the world may be a ring, after all.

He smiled now, knowing he could do no more, willing his body to slow its breath further, to grow cool and quiet, still and calm. I do not fear the cold. I do not fear nothingness. My body is nothing but flesh and bone.

The darkness of his cave spread further—even quieting the birds in his Grove, and the warmth in the air fled from an icy breeze as winter came to paradise. His fake sun drooped and fell, the skies above his forest of trees clouded with a long night.

He smiled as the darkness took him, wondering again if gods existed, and what he would say if he met them in their realm.

Best kill me now, and be sure, he thought to them, if they existed. Because I haven’t forgotten you, or my promise. I’m still coming for my mother, and your children, in this world, or the next.

* * *

When he opened his eyes he felt his tarp ripped away, raft dragged onto white sand by strange, near naked, brown-skinned men. The sky looked clear and shimmering like the air above a fire, the sun hot and prickly on his skin. Clucks and jabbered nonsense filled his ears as the men bound his hands and feet with rope.

I’m alive. He felt like laughing, but his body remained cool and helpless. It opened its eyes now and then so he could see, but didn’t truly wake, lying stiff and groggy like a man drowned with drink.

The strange men or creatures carried him across a long, empty, sweltering, beach of white sand, stuffed him into a kind of wagon, and rolled him along a bumpy road.

Is this the land of the gods? Are these their servants?

He paced in his Grove and did his best to see through cloudy eyes, to turn his head to see crabs and huge, red flies and trees that drooped like rain-drops from a branch, and a hundred wonderful, unknown things.

But I will know them soon, he beamed and laughed, and the sullen dead who’d watched him pouted and shambled off to mope.

The warmth of the air renewed him, though his lungs struggled, and his body quickened and deepened its breaths. By the time the wagon stopped, and the group of brown-skins were heaving him off onto a thin sheet of soft fabric, he could move.

They startled as he sat up, babbling and pointing and fretting like children. If these are gods, or the sons of gods, I’ll eat my raft, he thought. They must be servants, or something else.

One had a spear and thrust it down at Ruka’s face, pointing at the sheet and motioning to lie down.

“Water,” his body said through cracked, bleeding lips, but without effect. Hands pushed him back down, and he felt the weakness in his limbs, and decided not to resist. Not yet, he soothed his body. Let me watch, and learn, and get you food and water. Your time will come.

He noticed the men darted their eyes round as if concerned who might be watching, and he tucked that knowledge away.

They lifted him up with the sheet, groaning at his weight, and carried him inside a green wooden house on a hill surrounded by huge trees with wide, drooping foliage. He’d never imagined such healthy plants, as if when squeezed they’d drip out water and sap like rain. Oh mother if you could only see such things!

He set some dead boys to work in his Grove expanding the garden, hoping to examine it all more closely later, and perhaps plant some seeds.

They dragged and tied him up more thoroughly in a room without windows—only metal grates on the door and walls let in some light from elsewhere in the house. The room had no furs or bed, only a thin mat on the floor, and it reeked like sweat. Before they closed and locked him in they left a large pail full of water, and a bowl of white, grainy food. He had to kneel on swollen skin and eat and drink without his hands like an animal.

The grain tasted like nothing, and the water seemed clean, which suited Ruka fine. He finished it all at once, stopping rarely to breathe and swallow, not caring at the loss of dignity but careful not to spill.

When he finally sat up, feeling better, he saw broken fingernails on the door. He noticed old blood stains on the wood beneath him, and giant ants swarming over flecks of maybe skin in a corner.

His body tensed, senses sharpening. He heard sobbing and peered through the obscured gloom of the grate. Three girls sat in the room beside him—he wasn’t sure how old, but it seemed young—and despite their misery and filth, their perfect brown skin made them beautiful. Their round, smooth features and dark hair seemed to Ruka marks of fine breeding. He felt his eyes roam their mostly exposed bodies in ways they shouldn’t. He felt his body stirring, and let it bear the full weight of his disgust.

“I must rest,” it said, embarrassed, and tried to lie down on the mat. But he kept it up and its eyes roaming, senses sharp, letting his mind race out and around the mystery of this new world.

Are they just men and women, like us? How is it ruled, then, to allow such places? And how large is it? How much food do they grow? How do I learn their language quickly? And do they know my people are across the sea?

He heard cruel laughter in the house, moaning and the fleshy thuds of violence. He smelled human filth and urine and wet floors wafting in from every hole in his shoddily crafted cell. His body twitched, preparing to chew at the ropes, or to work at loosening them. Not yet, he cautioned. They’ve given us food and water, and for now that’s enough.

But the instinct to flee was strong, and probably right. Was this a stockade? The last time men held Ruka against his will he’d lost two toes. Was it some kind of holding place for criminals and outlaws? But then why were their women? Surely they would hold their women somewhere better?

It must be disfavored women, like my mother, he decided. Perhaps those who’d broken mating laws and stayed to face punishment, suffering the wrath of lawmakers or ‘gods’ instead of running away like Beyla.

The thuds and slaps of skin against skin continued, and soon sparked memories of youth—memories of a weak and useless father’s night-visits to Beyla’s bed. Memories of lying still by a dying hearth as a man who was nothing took his mother’s love. It’s rutting, he realized, the sound is rutting.

He watched the young girls faces again in his mind, clearly seeing their fear and misery. His joy of being alive vanished. The very concept was blasphemy, no matter a woman’s crimes. Even the ‘chattel’ of the Galdric Order forced to ‘Choose’ loyal soldiers or chiefs as mates became Matrons in their own houses, not trapped in cells like animals.

All Ruka’s hopes for a better place than the Ascom crumbled. Men are men, he sneered in the gloom, and meat is meat.

After a deep breath, he recalled all the images of the foreigners he’d seen, looking intensely now at their eyes and mouths and smiles.

Most of his captors looked small and soft, with fat bodies and ignorant stares—the kind that thought the weakness of others made them strong. Yet here, somehow, these fools ruled like Imler the Betrayer—ruled like the man who nearly brought a land of warriors, a land of ash, to its knees. They have the power to hold women against their will.

He brought the wood, the grates, and plants to his Grove to study later. He repeated the alien-sounding words of his captors, and went to the rune-hold he’d made, which contained most everything he’d ever heard or thought.

Dead men dutifully took notes for him—scratching new words down on thin rock using runes that represented sounds. He re-read all the Northerner’s conversation, and their attempts to give orders.

‘Theesaka’. Did this mean ‘lie down’? Was it one word? Or two or three? He noted it as ‘possible’, and made another spot for ‘certain’, which for now was empty. So much to learn and understand, so much to overcome. But I will, given time.

For a moment, Ruka nearly forgot his purpose. He reminded himself that he was young, and the world more vast than he realized. He had plenty of time to master this new land, and plenty to return to his own, if he chose. All things have their time, and their place, just like your garden, Mother.

He would need knowledge, and to re-gain his strength, then to escape this prison and find a ship or somewhere safe. His body suggested they make a river of their captor’s blood, too, and see if they tasted like pig.

Ruka dismissed this and lay down, not having to resort to such methods for years. But as his mind probed the alien language, and as plans for the future wove together in long threads, he had to admit, he was curious.

Note from the Author

You made it. Well done. Two-hundred and some odd thousand words of fantasy fiction finished. I only hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Actually, bugger that, writing it was kind of a pain in my ass, I hope you enjoyed it more.

If you’d like to be the first to know when the next book in the series is finished, or indeed when anything else I write is available, the best thing to do is join my mailing list. You can do that on my homepage here:

http://www.richardnell.com

Whilst on that exclusive list you might even get the occasional freebie, or perhaps angry, philosophical rant from yours truly. My wife says, ‘or baby pictures!’, but just between you and me, I doubt it.

On the website you’ll also find large, color, personally made maps of Sri Kon and the Land of Ash, if you’re interested in such things. You strange cartophile, you.

Finally, this silly little note is just to say: thank you, dear reader. Thank you for supporting this strange adventure of mine into solitude and frivolity, imagination and wonder. Thank you for being a patron of the arts, a lover of fantasy, and the sort of weirdo who reads notes from authors at the back of already ponderously long tomes. I’m a fan of yours, too.

Acknowledgments

Even an indie writer like me has many people to thank. In terms of the many great writers and pioneers in the field without whom I would be mute, I offer a general tip of the hat. You are too numerous to name. Special thanks to Derek Murphy for his wonderful cover, and his many useful tips and lessons (if you’re an indie writer, or want to be, I’d google him). Thanks to the many friends and family who took the inordinate amount of time to read drafts and offer suggestions. Thanks to my many beta readers and reviewers, who took time from their busy lives to help some random guy. You also provided a very good, uplifting lesson we should all remember: never underestimate the generosity of strangers.

I’d particularly like to thank Brett Hurst, who consumed this behemoth more than once, and his mother Khristine Hurst, who basically built my website. You are unspeakably awesome. Thanks to Daphne Arcadius for her illustration brushes, which made my ameteur map-making considerably easier. Thanks to editor Jennifer Shulz, who offered especially useful feedback (you can find her services here: (http://www.infinitereverie.com/). Thanks to excellent writer Arthur Slade, who generously read a few pages and gave his valuable feedback early in the process. Reluctant thanks to Steven MacDonald, for keeping me honest. Thanks to my wife, Cherissa, for tolerating this most impractical thing, and also tolerating me, more generally. Thanks to Colleen Nell, otherwise known as Mom, for keeping me alive. And, finally, thanks to Robert Nell, otherwise known as Dad, for his generous (and ongoing) moonlighting as an unpaid copy-editor, for his great love of books, and for reading me Coleridge.

About the Author

Richard Nell concerned family and friends by quitting his real job in 2014 to 'write full-time'. He is a Canadian author of fantasy, living in one of the flattest, coldest places on earth with his begrudging wife, who makes sure he eats.

Visit his website here: http://www.richardnell.com

Or contact him at: email@richardnell.com